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My Take on Literature

I read to escape. Or at least I used to. When I was little, my favorite books were series

like Bailey School Kids, Horrible Harry, Junie B. Jones, and Captain Underpants. I was in love

with fiction and would look to reading for an adventure. Back then, reading was my way of

escaping from the world I was in. From little things like having a bad school day, to things like

avoiding hearing my parents arguing, it was my quick-fix. I loved reading so much that,

according to literacy testing, when I was in the fourth grade, I read at a ninth grade level.

However, as I grew older, the fun in reading seemed to fade. I moved on from reading

books that I truly found interesting to books I was supposed to find interesting. For instance,

over the years I was assigned books like the Pride and Prejudice, Moby Dick and Brave New

World. While I appreciate these books for their literary techniques, these arent books I would

choose to read for leisure. Id rather read books about a funny adventure or a book with a

comedic character you can grow to love. Sometimes I liked reading books like Where the

Sidewalk Ends and other times I wanted to read a comic book. I loved the lighthearted fun of the

books I read. But, generally, these books that I liked to read were deemed immature by my

teachers. So, I ended up only reading these assigned classics. This caused me to regard reading

as something I didnt enjoy because I was constantly being told what I should enjoy.

This brings into play the question of what is considered important and valuable when it

comes to these classics, something highlighted in Keith Gilyards speech Literacy, Identity,

Imagination, Flight. In the speech, Gilyard discusses the politics of English and the subjects

underlying biases. Gilyard questions the teachings of English professors with things like, Which

genres are privileged? (pg. 41) and Who are we serving with the identity politics we push?

(pg. 44). While he focuses more on culture and race, there is also bias in regard to genre that
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caused the childish books I read to be replaced with books such as To Kill a Mockingbird. Why

are these considered classics as opposed to the books I read and enjoyed?

Likewise, my love for writing dwindled when it became a requirement as well. In

elementary, I wrote poetry and songs that made no sense at all, just for fun. So, you can imagine

my excitement when, in sixth grade, I got the opportunity to take a class where all we did was

creative writing. In this class, I could write what I wanted, how I wanted as long as it followed

general convention and grammar rules. Outside of this class and during my seventh and eighth-

grade years, this was not the case. When writing, we were told we had to have five paragraphs.

The first paragraph was always the introduction, the second, third and fourth were body

paragraphs, and the fifth was your conclusion. We were also given page and paragraph lengths.

This was difficult for me to follow because I was so used to organizing my ideas how I wanted

and how I saw fit. And assigning these length rules caused my papers to sound redundant and

forced. However, this method continued to be raved about even throughout high school and,

although I found it hard to fit that mold, I had to try my hardest to do it their way. Which is why,

in high school and now, I look at writing as just another daunting task of school.

This causes my writing process to typically begin with procrastination. Its then followed

by me trying to start writing, but cut off by inner complaints like I hate school and why me.

Realization later sets in. I realize not that I can do this, but that I have to do it. So I do. I edit as I

go along, turn it in and wait patiently for my grade. But my writing never feels great to me. Sure

enough, I get my essay back, with marks all over and corrections everywhere. Instead of looking

at this as a challenge, I usually think of it as confirmation for me to think Im bad at writing and

that I cant do it.

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To anyone also experiencing these feelings, I would advise them to read Shitty First

Drafts by Anne Lamott. It really resonated with me as it helped me realize many people,

including great authors like her, hate some of their writing at first. Phrases found in the article

like, Now, practically even better news than that of short assignments is the idea of shitty first

drafts. All good writers write them. (Paragraph 1) and We all often feel like we are pulling

teeth, even those writers whose prose ends up being the most natural and fluid. (Paragraph 2)

helped me to realize I shouldnt give up writing just because Im being challenged and that its

normal to feel my writing is inadequate. Growing older and reflecting, I realized reading and

writing isnt bad and that I shouldnt let requirements take the fun out of things. Now, I just want

to read more stories and be reminded of the feeling of finishing a great book like when I was

younger. And although I now realize writing isnt gruesome, Ill most likely still look at it as an

intimidating duty, but now I know most people feel the same! I can now say I truly feel practice

makes perfect and that I can make it through. And if I happen to fail in the process, I know that

its just one bad paper on a road to improvement.