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THE Contact us : cangguweekly@gmail.com

CANGGU WEEKLY
Weekly News Magazine for Canggu and Surroundings No: 014, 14 Apr - 21 Apr 2017

Police plan to recruit teenage leader of hacker crew that stole $300,000 worth of airplane tickets from website

the National Polices cyber crime

No: 008, 03 Mar - 10 Mar 2017


subdivision, as quoted by Detik today.
Idam said that Haikal was just one of MUAY THAI
the young hackers that police planned
to recruit to help Indonesia in its battles
against cybercrimes. Although he said CAPOEIRA
Haikals comrades in the Tiket.com
would not be getting similar offers (they
must not be 1337 enough).
BOXING
Haikal headed up the Gangtengers
Crew (a play on the Indonesian word
jiu-jitsu
Haikal is the online handle of a 19-year-
ganteng meaning handsome) which Jl Pantai Brawa 13 B
old (also identified by authorities using
was made-up of a motley assortment of CANGGU
his real initials, SH). who is the most
characters including two recent high (Behind Canggu Cafe)
infamous hacker in Indonesia at the
school grads and a college dropout. As balimartialart@gmail.com
moment. Haikal admitted to leading a
for Haikal, he apparently only finished
group of friends on a digital heist of
middle school and taught himself all of
popular Indonesian airline ticketing
his network infiltration skills from the Tiket.com, noticed that something was
website Tiket.com, from which they will
Internet. up and reported the case to the police,
able to pinch about Rp 1.4 billion (~
who were quickly able to track down
$300,000) worth of tickets which they
Police say Haikals crew hacked into the hackers.
then resold online.
some 4,600 websites, some for profit,
many just to practice or show off. These The police said Haikal and his crew
Haikal used his portion of the ill-gotten could face up to 12 years in prison
sites included those of local ride-hailing
gains to buy a Ducati motorcycle, but under Indonesias Law on Electronic
giant Go-Jek and the website of the
police eventually tracked down the teen Information and Transactions (ITE).
National Police.
hacker and his associates and now he
could be facing serious jail time for his But it seems likely that Haikals
The crew was able to steal the huge
crimes. recruitment offer will be sweetened with
number of tickets in October by
breaking into airline company Citilinks the promise of a reduced sentence, an
But, on the bright side, it looks like hes offer hed be hard pressed to turn
database of pre-purchased tickets for
going to come out of it with a job offer down.
travel agents. They then resold the
from the police.
Tiket.com booking codes through
Facebook for pure profit. (coconuts.co)
Yes, were going to let him go straight
It wasnt until November that Global
and become a benefit to the country,
Network, the parent company of
explained Adj. Comr. Idam Wasiadi of
2 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

WELCOME TO CANGGU THIS WEEKEND IN CANGGU

FRIDAY
Shake your groove thing, dance like no-ones watching.. all that.. at
the Ecstatic dance at Samadi Bali from 7pm. Pure energy
cultivation, for the hipsters among us.

SATURDAY
The main event this week is The Pharcyde - Live & Direct at Old
Man's - Saturday from 6pm. Anyone who's anyone will be there -
biggest scene to be seen this weekend. Pre-sale 150k or 200k on
NEW IN THE GU: TAMAN NAULI the door. Legit don't miss this s**t.
The never ending stream of new eateries opening in
Canggu keeps us very busy at Gu HQ. It's a bit of a
SUNDAY
dream life (we won't lie) adventuring from warung to
Easter Sunday in the Gu is a family-friendly event, with events all
spa, spa to cafe, cafe to rooftop pool. We are usually
pleased by what we uncover day-to-day, with fresh over the place..
ideas and fun new international cuisines imported by
enthusiastic expats.. and then sometimes we stumble Start your Easter celebrations early at Milk & Madu from 9am, for
upon something really special - and we are just bursting their Family Fun Easter brunch. Easter egg hunts and fun for the
to share it with you all. whole fam - and it's totally FREE!

Have you ever wondered what's down that driveway to Hop on over to Canggu Club from 11am for their epic Easter
the right of Pepito on Jl Raya Canggu? That garden Sunday spread. There will be a huge brunch buffet, live music &
block, now illuminated by night, beckoning you to come entertainment, plus rumour has it - an appearance from the Esater
on down. We did, and what we found was nothing short Bunny himself!
of super special. Taman Nauli Kitchen & Lounge is an
antique whitewashed Javanese Joglo, set upon a
Get to The Garden Early Learning - Bali 4pm Sunday afternoon for
sprawling garden block that hosts the most beautiful
a family picnic, craft activities, Easter egg hunt, face painting &
collection of eccentric dwellings from all over the
Indonesian archipelago. more. We'll be there.. look forward to seeing every-bunny!
A little later on, La Finca Bali will host some Easter Sunday
The main building has opened as a free-flowing dining celebrations - the kids can play (and psssst! Eat for free!) whilst
space, dishing up a mixed Western and traditional mum & dad tuck into their fave Spanish fare. I mean, those
Indonesian cuisine - to be enjoyed in a tranquil garden rosemary smoked ribs tho! You know where we'll be for dinner!
setting overlooking a gently flowing river and The Sunday session this week at Deus sees MARAPU return to
landscaped palms, statues and the families' pot barn. the Temple with their epic reggae sounds. See. You. THERE!
Family owned and operated, the food is home-style
cooking - fresh and delicious - and at a really Check out the Gu Guide website for a full list of every event
reasonable price point.
occurring this week; https://cangguguide.com/events

We came for lunch; I tried the crispy chicken burger


Don't forget to #guguidebali to share your snaps through the week!
with smashed avo & a side of chunky Cassava fries -
just 60k ($6.00) and Rul had their EPIC Nasi Campur - GG xx
a huge portion and an absolute steal at only 35k
($3.50).

The coffee was a special Sumatran blend, served Bali-


style (piping hot & strong), and the juices were the
perfect fresh accompaniment to our flavourful lunches.
Open from early morning until right into the night, we
found ourselves there mid-afternoon and can't wait to
return for a relaxed dinner overlooking the garden,
illuminated by feature lighting at night.

Whilst you're there, ask for a tour of their soon-to-open


bed & breakfast. An incredibly unique converted
warehouse property overlooking neighbouring harvest
of Pandan leaves.

Check it out and let us know what you thought!


https://cangguguide.com

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 3

SILAT
NOW IN CANGGU

Silat, is an umbrella term used to describe the martial art


forms practiced throughout the Malay Archipelago. Silat
is a combative art of fighting and survival and it has
been evolved in Indonesia and Malaysia civilizations for
centuries into social culture and tradition.
Jl. Pantai Brawa No 13B, CANGGU
(Behind Canggu Cafe) balimartialart@gmail.com
Page 3 Girl of the week : Yayauk (26)

Please DO NOT send inquiry on page 3 girl to Canggu Weekly, we will not reply

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


4 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

This full moon is a gateway to


FULL MOON IN LIBRA
understand, heal and release what
has come up for you during Venus how painful - or joyous, as
retrograde, which began on March 4. acknowledging the entire spectrum of
What has come to light about yourself, our human emotions creates the
the dynamics and your role within your biggest shifts and positive change in
intimate partnerships? What fears our lives. There is divine magic to be
have run rampant under this found in the darkness as well as in the
retrograde? How have you learned to light. Embrace your inner shadow and
channel and express these emotions the mysteries, it only desires to be
to serve you better, and not hinder loved more deeply by you.
The Full Moon in Libra is bringing a your growth and your relationships? Much love,
wave of bliss and peaceful energy over What relationships no longer serve
us, which is a welcome relief after the you? What new relationships have you Katie Emma xx
emotional rollercoaster many of us created in the past 6 weeks that DO Would you like to book an astrology
have been on these past few weeks. bring joy and good vibes to your Soul? consultation with Katie? Please contact
Many at this time are feeling drained, her via email
anxious and overwhelmed, but this Trust in yourself completely, and in that katieemmahealing@gmail.com
moon is illuminating a way forward in a everything is occurring FOR you and (guguidebali)
part of your life where you have felt not to you. Ride the waves of emotions,
bound and restricted. and feel everything deeply no matter

Wet and Dry


Balis Dry Seasons Predicted to Occur June August 2017

is predicting the dry season in Bali will seasonal change with landslides, fallen
commence in June. trees and other extreme weather
phenomenon can be expected. The
Quoted by Beritabali.com, Luh Eka public should anticipate heavy rains
Arisanti, a BMKG-Bali forecaster said and lightening to occur during the shift
on April 3, 2107: The dry season is from the wet to the dry season.
expected to take place in June. The dry
season will last until August 2017. Bali (balidiscovery.com)
will experience a three-month long dry
season.

The Meteorology, Climate and Arisanti issued a warning that the public
Geophysics Agency in Bali (BMKG-Bali) should be very cautious in the period of

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 5

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


6 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

People are outraged over this Bali mans photos posing with dead monkey and its baby

harvest hunt for Galungan, the


Balinese feast holiday that fell on April Hopefully this monkey will be
5. reincarnated to something better.
Those who kill will definitely get karma.
Ariawan appears to have removed the Only, hes not aware.
pictures from his profile or at least Give him the death penalty.
doesnt have them set to public, but the
damage has been donethey have Eating primates is like eating humans.
already made their away across the
Bali net with screenshots of the photos Humans are more sinister than the
and comments going viral and even a devil.
write-up in the local newspaper. Wait til God responds.

Ariawans pictures were reposted to In one of the screenshotted captions of


A photo posted to Facebook shows a gossip-centric Indonesian account what appears to be the original post, a
man proudly posing with a large @lambe_turah and have gotten over commenter asks Ariawan why the baby
monkey and baby.
24,000 likes and upwards of 10,000 monkey also had to die, the poor
comments since republished with the thing. To which Ariawan responds that
Photos of a man in Bali posing with a caption in all caps, THERES REALLY he meant to shoot the big monkey but
dead monkey and its baby has NO OTHER FOOD?. the baby was in the way.
netizens in an uproar. And when asked what he shot the
In one of the photos, the man is holding Cruel, you are like a human monkey, monkey for, Ariawan answered that the
up a large macaque by the neck like a writes one commenter. meat was for satay.
trophy in one hand and in the other,
hes got a baby monkey and his gun. Dont be proud of killing animals, one Editors Note: Comments have been
day karma will come for you, writes translated from Indonesian and
Putu Ariawan posted the photos to another. Balinese.
Facebook this week, writing in the
caption that this was the result of his Other comments were just as scathing: (coconuts.co)

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THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 7

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THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


8 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

WELLNESS CANGGU :
HEALTH BENEFITS OF BODY SCRUBBING

improves the look of your skin, it also


sweeps away places where bacteria Loofah Aftercare..
and grime could collect.
Loofah sponges owing to their
CIRCULATION distinctive meshed and porous
Any friction on your skin increases structure make them perfect breeding
localised blood flow. Capillaries, the grounds for bacteria and molds.
tiny blood vessels closest to your skin, Bacteria and/or fungal organisms thrive
Using a loofah on a regular basis prior naturally expand when stimulated. Its on the dead cells stuck on the loofah
to a shower or bath offers multiple just like rubbing your hands together to surface and their growth is accelerated
health benefits for the skin. heat them up. It creates friction and as the scrub stays in a bathroom where
Although we call them a loofah sponge, stimulates blood flow. A loofah has a the environment tends to be moist.
these long, fibrous bath accessories similar effect, stimulating increased Therefore using a loofah that is not
come from a vegetable source and not circulation to areas that you scrub with cleaned and dried every time after you
a sea creature. The luffa plant is a it. Unlike harshly abrasive scrubbers shower can become unhygienic,
relative of the cucumber and produces and sponges, a loofah's firm but elastic leading to skin infections.
large gourds that leave a durable fibres are round in cross section and After scrubbing your body with the
strong network of fibres after drying, are less likely to scratch skin. loofah, rinse it completely cleansing it
leaving a mildly abrasive scrubber of lather.
which exfoliates your skin and How To Use A Loofah Shake it vigorously and keep it cool,
enhances surface circulation. Soak the loofah in running water in dry place so that it dries out quickly.
Let's take a look at some of the health order to make it slighty spongy Replace your loofah on a regular
benefits of daily body scrubbing using a Pour some droplets of natural body- basis.
loofah.. wash from a dispenser or rub a soap For rinsing it hygienically, prepare a
bar over the surface of the loofah. bleaching solution, dilute it adequately
EXFOLIATION Start brushing the loofah scrub from and let the loofah soak for 5-7 minutes.
The outermost layer of your skin, the the area just beneath your neck Thereafter take out the swab from the
epidermis, naturally sheds dead skin working up a good lather. solution, wash it in running water,
cells. Normal friction removes some of Scrub it lightly all over your body in a shake off the water, and let it dry.
these shed cells, but others remain in round pattern and the same under All natural loofahs are available to
place, dulling your complexion and your arm pits as well as the ankles, purchase from Bali Buda Caf & Health
blocking the skins ability to breathe. soles of feet, and the heels. Food Shops. Locate your nearest Bali
Exfoliation helps this natural process Scrubbing the loofah using circular Buda store using Gu Guide.
along, using gentle friction to brush patterns helps in the removal of dead
excess skin cells from the surface of and damaged skin cells thoroughly. Kerobokan: https://cangguguide.com/
your skin. Removing dead skin cells is After youre done scrubbing the entire item/bali-buda-health-foods/
especially good to do while visiting or skin surface, stand under the shower to Munggu: https://cangguguide.com/item/
living in Bali because of all the dust and wash away the lather completely and bali-buda-munggu/
pollution on the roads. It not only makes you feel refreshed.

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 9

Government still working on determining location for new Bali airport in islands north

It feels like its been years since weve gotten any updates
about the governments plans to build the new airport in North
Bali that the islands governor has been so outspokenly gung
ho about.

Despite previous reports that the government had pinpointed a


location that would require reclamation in Balis Buleleng
Regency, the Ministry of Transportation is now saying that its
currently working on setting the new airports location based on
feasibility studies submitted by consultants for two separate
locations.

Airports Director of the Directorate General of Civil Aviation, The airports director says he can not yet confirm at this time
Yudhi Sari Sitompul, says that Balis second airport will still whether or not a reclamation would be part of the development
more than likely be done in Buleleng, its just a matter of where plan for the new airport.
in the regency.
Newly appointed Transportation Ministry director general for air
After the government completes its study, God willing, we will transportation Agus Santoso says the actual building of the
set the location this year, Sitompul said in Nusa Dua on airport isnt the only thing on the governments mind. The
Thursday, as quoted by Liputan 6. government will also be strategizing development for Balis
more rural north as a tourism destinationnow lets all
A team from the directorate general will soon be visiting the two collectively cringe.
locations for a closer look next week, says Sitompul.
(coconuts.co)

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


10 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


Page 11
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 11

Sky High Positions for Women


Garuda Indonesia Appoints its First Female Captain

Joining Garuda Indonesia in 1999 after graduating from a


national flight school, Captain Fiqriyah has served on
B737-300, B737-400, B737-500 and the wide-body Airbus
A330-300 and A330-200.

Quoted by The Jakarta Globe, Novianto Herupratomo, an


Airline spokesperson said: "We are an equal-opportunity
employer. We always reward good performances."

Herupratomo said he hope Captain Ida Fiqriyahs success


would encourage more Indonesian women to work in aviation
Garuda Indonesia is soaring to new heights in championing and pursue careers as pilots.
female rights with the appointment of its first woman captain.
Garuda currently employs 30 pilots from among the 1,380
Garuda announced the promotion of Ida Fiqriyah to the left- pilots on its payroll.
hand seat of one of the Airlines Boeing B737-800 NG aircraft
on the basis of her 18-years of service with the national carrier (balidiscovery.com)
and a flight log with 10,585 flight hours to her credit.

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


12 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 13

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


14 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 15

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


16 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 17

Solution for this crosswords on page 22

To get you started and introduce you to the Indonesian national language,
here are some basic phrases in Bahasa Indonesia.

How are you? Apa kabar?


Good/ Not so good. Baik / kurang baik.
Whats your name? Siapa nama Anda?
My name is Anna. Nama saya Anna.
Where are you from? Dari mana Anda berasal?
Im from Australia. Saya berasal dari Australia.
Where do you live? Di mana Anda tinggal?
I live in Jakarta. Saya tinggal di Jakarta.
Are you married? Sudah Menikah?
Yes, already/ Not Yet. Ya, sudah / Belum.
Nice to meet you. Senang bertemu dengan Anda.
Do you speak English? Bisa bicara bahasa Inggris?
Does anyone speaks English? Ada yang bisa bicara bahasa Inggris?
I dont speak Indonesian [well]. Saya tidak bisa bicara bahasa Indonesia [dengan baik].

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


18 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

ON FACIAL
10% THREADS
DURING THE MONTH
OFF OF A P R I L

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 19

Too Dumb to Fly


Denpasar Woman Grounded for Joking About Having a Bomb at Balis Airport

Wing Airs Flight IW 1840 to Malang, continue her journey or is still under an
East Java when she told the security investigative process by police.
officials that she had a bomb that
precipitating an almost instantaneous In any case, Afril missed her flight to
process that saw the woman subdued Malang.
and taken away to a secure area for
intensive interrogation. Aviation law in Indonesia provides for
imprisonment of between 1 and 15
Security officials found no evidence of years for those found guilty of
any explosives on the woman or in her disrupting a flight by claiming a bomb is
hand luggage. in their possession or on board an
aircraft.
The woman told the security officials
that she was only joking when she (balidiscovery.com)
Titis Afril Batari Arsy Hata, a 28-year- mentioned a bomb at the inspection
old woman from East Kotawaringan in gate. Officials made the woman sign a
Central Kalimantan was taken into letter apologizing for her actions.
custody by security officials at Balis
airport on Saturday, April 8, 2017, after Afril listed her residential address as
telling security staff that she was Jalan Tukad Musi VII No. 2, Panjer,
carrying a bomb. Denpasar

At approximately 1:15 pm on Saturday, It is not clear from press reports if the


Hata was in the boarding process for woman was released and allowed to

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


20 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 21

An elderly man was very ill, and lay in his bed fully expecting to die at any
time. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his

favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. The smell was so
overwhelming that he somehow managed to gather his remaining strength
to lift himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way
out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the
stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, agony, and
pain from the excursion, he leaned against the kitchen door frame for rest
and gazed into the room. Were it not for his physical pain he would have
thought himself already in heaven because there, spread out upon
newspapers on the kitchen table, were literally hundreds of his favorite
chocolate chip cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife,
seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final
effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled
posture. His parched lips parted as he began to imagine the taste of the
wondrous cookies already in his mouth. The thought actually invigorated
him, seemingly bringing him back to life. His old and aged hand slowly made
its way to a cookie at the edge of thetable, when it was suddenly smacked
with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," she snapped. "They're for the
funeral."

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying


to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes
closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine cones and
smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher
brought in a great variety of lifesavers, more flavors than you could
ever imagine. "Children, I'd like you to close your eyes and taste
these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to
identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher
had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of
the children was stumped. "I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's
some- thing your Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."
Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're arseholes!"

Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that
although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small
p*nis. After examining the child, the doctor confi- dently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That
should solve the problem." The next morning when the boy arrived for breakfast, there was a large
stack of warm pan- cakes in the middle of the table. "Gee, Mom," he exclaimed."For me?" "Just take
two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick.
Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks
her if she threw up. ''Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way 'round the back. There was a box near the front door that
said 'For the Sick.'''

Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie,


whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You
know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's
probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand
old time with God." Susie stopped crying and
asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


22 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

The Canggu Weekly is published by: HOW TO CONTACT US


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THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


THE CANGGU WEEKLY 23

MAP CANGGU

Ink
Avocado Cafe Boy
Bad

Bali Martial Arts

niconico

Canggu Studio

Serenity Eco
Guest House

THE JOGLO

BALI TREASURE PROPERTIES

BALI TIDE CHART

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR


24 THE CANGGU WEEKLY

THE CANGGU WEEKLY, 14 APR - 21 APR

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