FREE EDITION
THE
CANGGU WEEKLY
Weekly News Magazine for Canggu and Surroundings
Day of Silence in Bali: At least four tourists caught wandering Kuta streets during Nyepi
No: 008, 03 Mar - 10 Mar 2017
Bali fell silent on Tuesday
morning as the island powered
down for the Balinese Hindu
New Year Nyepi, the Day of
Silence, where people must
stay inside, keep lights off, and
noise down for 24 hours.
But apparently not everyone
followed the rules.
At least four tourists were
caught in Kuta by pecalang,
traditional village security
guards who were on duty during
Nyepi to keep watch.
Kuta village elder, I Wayan
Suarsa said that since Nyepi
Contact us : cangguweekly@gmail.com
commenced at 6 am on
Tuesday, violations were
committed by at least four
tourists.
Two people were domestic
tourists and two were
foreigners. They were in the
street during Nyepi, Suarsa
told VIVA News.
The two domestic tourists were
from Sumbawa, West Nusa
Tenggara, while one of the
foreigners was from China, and
the others nationality was not
identified in reports.
For the foreigners, Suarsa says
they were taken back to their
hotel, which would be under
sanction. The hotels definitely
know the rules in Bali, whereas
tourists could just be clueless,
he said.
No: 012, 31 Mar - 07 Apr 2017
We gave a letter of reprimand
and sanctions to the hotel
because they let their guests
out on the streets during Nyepi.
For the guest, maybe it was
done out of ignorance.
The Sumbawa tourists,
however, had to directly face
sanctions themselves. VIVAs
report did not detail what
exactly the sanctions are, but in
the past, Nyepi violators have
been fined around Rp 100k for
their disobedience. MUAY THAI
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The tourists from Sumbawa had
been riding a motorbike to HOT YOGA
Jimbaran, according to Suarsa. Brazilian
They already knew that today
is Nypei, so why do they go Jiu-Jitsu
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Two Australians denied entry into Bali over sex-offense cases back in Oz
Immigration officers stopped two
Australians from entering Bali on
separate occasions at Ngurah Rai
International Airport last week.
Australian, MNM, was denied entry
on Friday evening (March 24) on a
Jetstar flight from Brisbane because
of the Aussies involvement in a
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 2
KIDS
&
ADULTS
pedophilia case back home, Tribun
Ngurah Rai Airport, we must look out
Bali reports.
for those entering seeking
MNM was sent back to Brisbane on
a flight via Sydney on Saturday.
asylum from Bangladesh, Sri Lanka,
and Pakistan. In addition to
The other Australian was flagged on
pedophiles. Working with countries
Tuesday night when landing from
across borders for reference,
Sydney on JQ 37. Indonesian
Mayroto Sumadi, Immigration Traffic
immigration officers apparently had
Director, said on Tuesday.
information from the Australian
Federal Police (AFP) that CPR has
We are continuing to tighten up
been designated a sexual offender.
screening at international airports
and seaports for foreigners entering
As with the other Aussie, CPR was
Indonesia.
sent right back to Australia.
(coconuts.co)
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 3
Page 3 Girl of the week : Siri (22)

Please DO NOT send inquiry on page 3 girl to Canggu Weekly, we will not reply

NEW IN CANGGU: EL MONO
There's a new corner of Berawa to keep
an eye on; Jl Pemilisan Agung. Already
home to The Haven Suites Bali Berawa,
Alam Atelier, and now - El Mono Bali.
To find this new little hotspot, take a
quick right before heading down the
Finns Beach Club end of Jl Pantai
Berawa - right before the new skate
bowl. With the sports field to your right,
follow the street down and as it turns left
- you'll find El Mono.
A fresh & fun eatery, stop in for one of
their signature burritos - we tried and
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 4
loved the Sambal Matah burrito with Find yourself in the Berawa Beach
chicken, spicy sambal, guacamole & hood? Find yourself a seat at El Mono,
salad, or choose from their Spanish- and tell us what you thought of those
inspired, Western fusion breakfast menu. waffles!
We tried the cutest little smoothie bowl - (guguidebali)
with a mild yoghurt flavour and icy
dragonfruit - it was a cooling & sweet
refresher without the price tag of many
Canggu smoothie bowls.
The star of the show was the chocolate
waffles that hubby scoffed down within
moments of his plate hitting the table. I
stole a few bites and can report it was
seriously delicious. Take advantage of
their epic waffle special - packaged with
a coffee for only 55k ($5.50), it's the
sweetest deal in town!
Located overlooking the BazGym
Indonesia amphitheatre, its the perfect
hangout for mums & days to chill while
their cheeky little monkeys swing &
bounce in their almost-daily gymnastics
classes.
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 5
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 6
Australian woman dead in Seminyak villa after alleged vodka binge

The deceased woman, SSJ,
39, had been with two other
women from Queensland in
their villa.
From the statements of the
witnesses, the victim drank
21 glasses by herself. And to
An Australian woman was
wrap it up later, she drank
found dead in a luxury villa
another six glasses, Bali
complex early on Sunday
Post quoted an unidentified
morning after allegedly binge
source from Badung Police
drinking vodka, police in Bali
as saying.
have told reporters.
Planning to go out, the
women later went to her villa
to get money, but started
vomiting and fainted. The
womans face and lips
turned blue and her nose
was bleeding, reports said.
Her friends tried to revive
her and called for help, but
when medical assistance
arrived shortly after, the
woman had already died,
according to police.
By 1:30 am, Badung Police
officers arrived and set up a
crime scene and the victim
was taken to the morgue at
Denpasars Sanglah
Hospital.
North Kuta Police Insp. Ika
Prabawa confirmed the
incident to local reporters,
saying that police are still
investigating the womans
death and are waiting for
autopsy results.

Fishermen find body of Kiwi swept away at Angels Billabong, Balis Nusa Penida: Police
Police in
Bali say
the body
of a
missing
New
Zealand tourist has been found off the
coast of Nusa Penida, a small island
southeast of Bali.
The 23-year-old kiwi, TJS, went missing
on March 20 from Angels Billabong, a
natural infinity pool on Nusa Penida,
when he was trying to save his girlfriend,
German woman, LH, 20.
When they were taking pictures, the
German was reportedly hit by a large
wave over the edge of the pool and
knocked down, so TJS dove in the water
after her, witnesses said.
LH was later rescued by a snorkeler, but
her boyfriend disappeared until Friday
morning, when fisherman pulled a body
out of Nusa Penida waters, that police
say is TJS.
The fishermen say they found the body
in Crystal Bay at 7:30 am, around 50
meters from the cliff.
From the results of an external
examination and descriptions from the
victims family, the corpse of Mr. X is
indeed TJS of New Zealand, Bali Police
spokesman Heng Widjaja said in
Denpasar on Friday, as quoted by Antara
Bali.
Angels Billabong is a striking natural
feature that is gaining popularity with
travelers visiting Nusa Penida, but can
be dangerous when big waves come up
over the edge of the pool. In June 2016,
two people died at Angels Billabong
when a woman honeymooning in Bali
was similarly swept out to sea over the
edge, along with her eight-year-old
sister.
(coconuts.co)

Balis Ngurah Rai Airport back to business after shutdown for Nyepi

and using lights, stop About 324 flights would have run if not
travel, and take a pause for the Nyepi shutdown, about 123 of
from work. which would be domestic and 131
international, says Ahsanurrohim.
Airport spokesman Arie
Ahsanurrohim said Ngurah Although the airport was closed, airport
Rai reopened at 6:01 am security officers were still alert and
on Wednesday morning, emergency personnel were on standby,
without incident. reports say.
A Balinese ogoh-ogoh statue on display at Ngurah Rai
The first domestic flight (coconuts.co)
departing from the airport
Ngurah Rai International Airport opened
was Garuda Indonesia GA 339 to
right back up again on Wednesday
Surabaya, while the first international
morning after taking a break in
flight was an AirAsia to Perth service,
operations for the Balinese holy day,
according to Antara Bali.
Nyepi.

As for arrivals, the first domestic flight

The airport was shut down for a 24-hour
was a Nam Air plane from Yogyakarta
period to respect the Balinese Day of
and a Garuda flight from Pudong, China
Silence tradition, where people must
for international.
stay inside, refrain from making sound
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 7

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 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 8

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 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 9

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Over 500 Hindu inmates across Indonesia granted

remissions for Nyepi

A number of Hindu prisoners Prisoners were only

in Indonesia are receiving
prison sentence remissions in
honor of the Balinese Hindu
New Year, Nyepi, which fell on
Tuesday.
Its customary in Indonesia to
take a bit off sentences during
special holidays like Idul Fitri
and Independence Day.
A total of 526 prisoners were
granted remission in the form
of sentence reductions this
week for the Hindu holiday,
while five got released,
according to Tribun Bali.
Nyepi 2017 remissions were
much awaited by Hindu
prisoners across Indonesia,
director general of correctional
institutions at the Law and
Human Rights Ministry, Wayan
K. Dusak, said in a statement
on Monday.
granted remissions if
certain eligibility
requirements were fulfilled,
like serving a sentence at
least six months, no
disciplinary violations
during incarceration, and
active participation in the
prison or jails guidance
program, says Dusak.
Hopefully these prison
remissions can inspire
more introspection for
inmates to realize their
mistakes so they can
change their behavior for
the better.
Of the Hindu prisoners
granted remission, 376
were in Bali, 52 in Central
Kalimantan, and 29 in
South Sulawesi.
(coconuts.co)
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 10

ON BOTOX &
DERMAL FILLERS
DURING THE MONTH
OF MARCH
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 11

Pecalang beat up during Nyepi in Denpasar, Bali after stopping man cruising on bicycle

be seen from the Hospital, whereas Abdullah was

outside, no noise reportedly secured by West Denpasar
can be heard Police. Warta suffered multiple injuries
from the street, and abrasions, but no further information
and people about his condition was included in local
arent wandering reports.
around. Rule-
breakers are However, police say the matter has
typically fined. already been amicably taken care of.

Though clearly, It has been amicably and peacefully

It apparently wasnt all quiet and peace
during the Day of Silence on the
Balinese Hindu New Year, Nyepi this
year.
Ketut Warta, a pecalang, traditional
neighborhood security, was beat up in
Denpasar when he tried to stop a man
outside riding a bicycle on Tuesday, this
years Nyepi, local media is reporting.
During Nyepi, Balinese tradition dictates
everyone on the island must stay inside,
keep lights off, and stay quiet.
Pecalang, like Ketut Warta, monitor the
neighborhood and make sure lights cant
not everyone is
always so great
about playing by the rules.
afternoon.
Yes, I was trying to stop an offender
who was riding a bicycle. I do not know
why he beat me, Warta said, as quoted
by Tribun Bali.
Warta had stopped 27-year-old Kembar
Abdullah on Jl. Kalimutu in Denpasars
Monang Maning area on Tuesday
afternoon, when Abdullah allegedly
knocked a punch to his left cheek and
began beating him.
Eventually, more pecalang came to
Wartas aid and called an ambulance to
bring him to Denpasars Sanglah
resolved by police at Monang Maning,
Police Integrated Services Insp. Ketut
Sunarka told Tribun Bali on Tuesday
(Abdullah) was rebuked and told to go
home, because youre not allowed to be
in the street during Nyepi, Sunarka said.
Following the reprimand, Abdullah
lashed out at Warta, he added.
There were apparently several other
incidents that occurred this Nyepi. Two
fires were reported, one at Puri Belaluan,
Denpasar, and the other at Pasar
Mengwi, Badung.
(coconuts.co)
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 12
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 13

North-South Toll Road for Bali a Non-Starter?
Public Works Minister Discounts Need for a North-South Toll Road for Bali
Hopes in Bali for the construction of a toll road connecting
the Kuta-Tanah Lot-Soka-Seririt-Jembrana corridor may
have suffered a major setback following recent statements
made by the Minister of Public Works and Public Housing,
Basuki Hadimuljono, in Bali on Wednesday, March 22,
2017.
Beritadewata.com quotes Hadimuljono, referring to a
major toll road built in West Java, saying: We have
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THE CANGGU WEEKLY 14
learned from the Cipularang Toll Road. When it was still a
national highway many small traders, souvenir sales
shop, drink stalls and alike operated along the road. Their
number stretching along the entire roads length, was
not insignificant. But, once the Cipularang Toll Road
opened all of these traders disappeared.
Because of this, the Minister is asking for a detailed and
comprehensive study to be conducted to determine the
social impact of building a toll road. In the absence of
such a study demonstrating the need for a toll road,
Hadimuljono argues it is better to develop the existing
highway, rather than acquire large tracts of land for a toll
road that will take control of land away from people who
will not benefit from the proposed toll road passing
through their communities.
Despite the Ministers statements made during a visit to
Bali, the Head of Public Works for Bali, I Nyoman Astawa
Riadi, insisted that opportunities remain open to potential
investors wishing to build a highway to connect south and
north Bali
(balidiscovery.com)
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 15
Trumps Indonesia business partner says planned resort to respect Bali traditions

JAKARTA (Reuters) The Indonesian
business partner of the Trump group has
pledged to respect Hindu traditions and
follow building height restrictions at a
luxury hotel and golf resort it is
developing near a temple on the island
of Bali.
The MNC Group, run by Indonesian
billionaire Hary Tanoesoedibjo, aims to
start operations at the resort next to the
Indian Ocean in 2019 or 2020, said a
company official.
The Bali project, which will include a six-
star hotel, villas and a golf course, will be
developed by MNC and managed by the
Trump Hotel Collection, a subsidiary of
the Trump Organization founded by U.S.
President Donald Trump.
At the moment (the Trump project in
Bali) is in the design stage. The tallest
(structure) is only three-storeys, said
Herman Bunjamin, vice president
director at PT MNC Land Tbk, the MNC
Groups property unit.
The company would follow local
government rules in Bali stipulating that
a building could not be taller than 15
meters (50 ft), and respect the Hindu
religion, he said.
Indonesia has the worlds largest Muslim
population, while Bali is home to a
majority of the countrys Hindu minority.
Temples will not be disturbed, temples
location will not be changed, Bunjamin
told reporters.
The resort is refurbishing an existing
hotel complex near the Tanah Lot
temple, a sensitive cultural and spiritual
site for many Balinese.
Tanoesoedibjo has previously denied a
media report suggesting there had been
resistance from locals with some
refusing to sell extra land, saying theres
no issue with the residents.
Bunjamin said the company would focus
on 110 hectares (272 acres) of land it
already had and would only look to
expand if there were land owners who
wanted to sell at the right price.
MNC also has another partnership with
the Trump Organization to manage a
luxury resort in Bogor on Java island.
Tanoesoedibjo, the chairman and chief
executive of MNC Group, has previously
said his group plans to invest between
$500 million and $1 billion in the two
resorts.
On Friday, MNC also launched a new
luxury hotel partnership with Hyatt Hotels
Corp to operate Indonesias first Park
Hyatt in the capital Jakarta.
MNC is investing up to 2.7 trillion rupiah
($202.58 million) in the hotel project,
which will also include an office tower,
Tanoesoedibjo said.
(Writing by Fransiska Nangoy; Editing by
Ed Davies and Himani Sarkar)
(coconuts.co)

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THE CANGGU WEEKLY 16

Page 11
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 17

Solution for this crosswords on page 22

British minister that was hailed hero after rushing to help stabbed cop during terror attack had lost
his brother in Bali bombing

A British MP who was praised as a covered in blood, surrounded by police risen to at least five people, including the
hero during last weeks harrowing and paramedics. attacker, with at least 50 people injured.
attack on the UK Parliament in London is While reports are constantly being
apparently no stranger to tragedy. updated, the latest say the death toll has (coconuts.co)

Tory foreign minister Tobias Ellwood lost

his own brother, Jonathan, in Indonesia
in the 2002 Bali bombing, where 202
were killed after three bombs were
detonated in two of the islands busy
nightspots.

Last Wednesday during the attack in

London, as many fled the scene,
Ellwood, a former army captain, was
spotted rushing to help a stabbed police
officer. Ellwood reportedly attempted
CPR and applied pressure to the
officers wounds to try and save the
mans life, but said he had lost too much
blood. Ellwood apparently stayed with
him, awaiting medical staff, but the
police officer ultimately died at the
scene. Photos circulated of Ellwood

New Parking Tariff at Bali Airport Effective April 1, 2017
Effective April 1, 2017, the price to park vehicles at Balis Ngurah Rai Airport will increase.
It will cost more to park at Bali's Ngurah
Rai International Airport starting on April
1, 2017.
MetroBali.com quotes the marketing
manager at Angkasa Pura I (API) the
airport authority for Bali, Annang
Setiabudi, who explained that the
increase in parking fees applies to both
four-wheeled and two-wheeled vehicle
parking at the airport.
Said Setiabudi: The new parking tariff is
effective from April 1, 2017, at 1:00 am.
We have begun socializing the new
parking rates with the airport community,
How to Ruin a Beach Holiday
Candidasa Beach in East Bali Polluted by Styrofoam Debris from Floating Dock Project
Balipost.com reports that a floating
dock erected at the village of Bugbug
on Candidasa Beach in East Bali has
been decimated by large waves on
Thursday, March 23, 2017, spreading
styrofoam debris along a large area of
beachfront.
The unsightly and widespread
styrofoam trash prompted protests from
local residents and visiting tourists,
local taxis, ground handling operators
and airlines starting from March 16,
2017.
New Parking Rates at Bali Airport
Effective April 1, 2017, the following
parking rates will apply at Balis Ngurah
Rai International Airport.
Motorcycles first 0-12 hours Rp.
2,000
Motorcycles after 12 hours Rp.
1,000 per hour
Four-wheeled sedan vehicles
first hour Rp. 4,000
many of who tried to clean up the
beach.
Protests and complaints were also
delivered to the local Secretary of the
Indonesian Hotel and Restaurant
Association (PHRI-Karangasem),
Wayan Kariasa, who confirmed many
accommodation operators had
contacted him. All guests are
complaining. There are those who
planned to stay for two weeks but
checked out after seeing the dirty
beach at Candidasa. The beach is a
mess.This has to be quickly resolved,
said Kariasa.
Kariasa said the Central Government
project to build floating docks and
breakwaters 100 meters offshore in
front of the Hotel Asyana. The PHRI
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 18
Four-wheeled sedan vehicles
Rp. 3,000 per additional hour
Trucks and buses first hour Rp.
10,000
Trucks and buses Rp. 5,000 per
additional hour
Balis airport also operated a multi-level
car park for sedans where the charge is
Rp. 5,000 for the first hour and Rp.3,000
for each additional hour. The multi-level
park lot enjoys close proximity to the
terminal building. An automated systems
signals if spaces are still available before
cars enter the parking area.
(balidiscovery.com)
Secretary said he had no idea of the
function or use of the floating docks.
Kariasa called on those involved in the
project to tow the floating structures to
safety to prevent further damage to the
beach.
Local residents blame the floating
docks for polluting the beachfront and
damage to local coral gardens then the
docks collide with coral at low tide.
The Public Works Department has
promised local tourism officials that
they will urgently clean the beachfront.
Photo: Bali Post
(balidiscovery.com)

A Devils Island on an Island in Paradise
Bali Press Report Exposes Inhumane Conditions at Balis Kerobokan Prison
RadarBali.com has drawn
attention to the inhumane
manner in which prisoners
are kept at Balis infamous
Kerobokan Prison.
Occupying a 4.2-hectare site
in the middle of a residential
and mixed commercial area
of Kuta, the prison is
critically overcrowded with
1,412 prisoners living behind
the prisons wall.
Built in 1983 and designed
to house only 323 inmates,
the prison is now operating
337% beyond its planned
capacity.
Due to overcrowding and
the declining condition of the
aging prison, prisoners
sleep in head-to-toe
positions, packed like
sardines into cramped cells.
The warden of the
Kerobokan Prison, Tonny
Nainggolan, confirmed
to RadarBali.com on
Saturday, March 18, 2017, a
prison population of 1,412
comprised of 145 female
prisoners in a separate area
designed to hold only 54
women. The remaining
prison population is male.
Nainggolan also confirmed
that prison cells measuring 6
x 8 meters meant to house
only 5 prisons are now used
to lock down 20 people each
night. In practical terms, this
means each prisoner has a
space of 2.4 square meters
to bed down at night in a
room with minimum flow
through of air and no
plumbing facilities.
A former prisoner at
Kerobokan, who asked that
his name not be published,
said: Sleeping head to toe
is a long-standing situation
(at the prison). When a cell
is full, thats just the way it
is.
Overcrowding in the prison
creates a number of other
problems. Symptoms of
psychological stress are
rempant among prisoners.
Moreover, each prison block
has a self-appointed boss
who tends to be long-term
inmates with connections to
THE CANGGU WEEKLY
criminal gangs (Ormas)
operating outside and inside
the prison.
Overcrowding and extortion
by prison thugs play a part
in a reportedly pervasive
culture of narcotics use
behind the Bali prison's
walls. Prisoners many sent
to jail for their involvement in
narcotics tell of an ironic
ready access to marijuana,
methamphetamines, and
ecstasy
The prison warden also
shared the travails of limited
toilet and bathing facilities at
the prison. Badly maintained
bathrooms are shared by
large numbers of prisoners
resulting in horrendous
hygienic conditions.
Nainggolan also lamented
the lack of guards working at
the prison. At present, only
11 guards are on duty during
each shift spread over four
guard posts and a front
gate. As a result, the
remaining 5 guards have the
seemingly impossible task of
19
supervising must 1,412
prisoners in 12 cellblocks.
In the recent past,
Kerobokan Prison has been
the scene of prisoner
uprisings and riots resulting
in injuries and loss of lives
by the prisoners.
The prison warden, while
exasperated by his crowded
penitentiary and limited
resources, say all he can do
is to carry on to the best of
his teams ability and pray
that the Central Government
and lawmakers will provide
better prison conditions in
the near future.
In 2012 the total prisoner
population stood at 910
revealing the additional 100
prisoners to the total number
of inmates living at the
prison each year. With no
absolute limit on the number
of prisoners sent to the
Kerobokan Prison, the
populaiton could soon top
2,000.
(balidiscovery.com)

WELLNESS CANGGU
DRINK YOUR FOOD & CHEW YOUR BEVERAGES
By: GU GUIDE Bali ,
https://cangguguide.com, @guguidebali
The longer that you slowly and thoroughly chew your food, the
more that food is mixed with your saliva. In this way the food is
literally changed into a form whereby the body literally
recognises it as its own, not as a foreign substance.
The longer the food is chewed in this manner, the more
information is conveyed to the rest of the digestive system.
This significant information tells the stomach and small intestine
what kind of food is coming down the esophagus. This unseen
communication process ensures that the right types and
amounts of digestive enzymes are secreted for proper digestion.
Proteins and fats require a certain mix of enzymes, as do
carbohydrates.
Also, when an individual is drinking their beverages, is good not
to gulp down a fruit smoothie or a freshly squeezed vegetable
juice. That liquid food must also be made your own, and the only
way to do that is to chew it thoroughly.
The best way to eat aligns with the time-honoured advice that
you should Drink your food; chew your liquids.
Just How Important is This Practice?
It all depends on how sick or well an individual is, as well as
what their ailments are. Simply put, if you want to heal what ails
you quicker, you ought to follow this eating prescription
religiously as in every meal and snack and drink you take. If
you show no outer signs of illness and you would like to stay
healthy, again, this is a great way to assist the body.
Yes, sometimes it can be difficult to maintain such discipline
because of so many rushed lunches and talkative dinners.
However, it is in those moments when food is often shoved down
the pipe with inadequate chewing, and this can cause ama to be
generated as a waste product.
According to Ayurveda, ama is the waste product which always
occurs as a result of improperly digested food and drink. Even
though one may have no outward signs of ama buildup, it will
always have to be removed from the body. It accumulates in all
THE CANGGU WEEKLY 20
the compromised organs and organ systems, body tissues and
spaces.
So how do we get into the practice of drink your food and chew
your liquids?
One way is to make eating the ritual that it was meant to be.
There is a great eating practice that goes by the acronym
S.T.C.T.S. Each letter represents a different quality of the
mealtime chewing ritual. In other words, we should at least try to
chew every single bite in the following ways:
Slowly
Thoroughly
Consciously
Thankfully
Spiritually
Many would probably agree that Slowly, Thoroughly, and
Thankfully are quite straightforward. But what about the other
two? To chew Consciously is to eat and drink with a presence
of mind that is focused on eating not worrying about the
mornings problems or the afternoons challenges. It is eating in
the present moment, not rehashing the past or fretting about the
future.
As for eating Spiritually, we will leave that one for you to
understand based on your own spiritual and/or religious
orientation. We will say that the more one views their food as
blessed and benevolent and sacred, the more it will heal and
rejuvenate, cure and energize.
Find the best organic foods & drinks to enjoy mindfully, from our
wellness warriors at Bali Buda Caf & Health Food Shops.
Kerobokan: https://cangguguide.com/item/bali-buda-health-
foods/
Munggu: https://cangguguide.com/item/bali-bunda-munggu/
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 21

An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement village. They seem to
hit it off; they share each others values, enjoy the same jokes, and find pleasure in each
others company. After a few months, the widower asks for the hand of the widow in
marriage. She appears hesitant and decided to probe her soon-to-be a lit- tle. Perhaps
I shouldnt look a gift horse in the mouth, but... Hows your
health? Its OK, he answers. Im not getting any younger, but I dont have any ma-
jor health problems. I can still enjoy life. Well, then, she replies I dont want to be a
snoop, but Ive got to protect myself: how are you fixed financially? So-so. Im not
rich, but Im comfortable. You dont have to worry about me sponging off you; I can
support myself. The little old lady blushes, and finally asks her swain And hows
your s*x life.... Infrequently, he declares. The widow ponders this for a moment or so,
before asking... And is that one word or two?

The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees al- ways met for
a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday
morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right
handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be
there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed,
and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that
he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right
handed.The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the
deal was. They said, George, every
Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and
golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?George
replies, Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I
look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping
on her right side, I golf right handed. Well, one of the employees questioned, What
happens if she is laying on her back? George replies, Then I am 10 minutes late.

A rabbi is sitting on an airplane next to a Korean guy.

After they have been flying together in silence for a while, the rabbi leans over and says, You
know, Ive never forgiven you Chinese for what you did at Pearl Harbor. The Korean looks shocked
and replies, What the hell are you talking about?!?!? It was the Japanese the bombed Pearl
Harbor, not the Chinese. And besides, Im not Chinese or Japanese, Im Korean!The rabbi says,
Korean, Japa- nese, Chinese, whats the difference? A little while later, the Korean man says,
You know, Ive never forgiven you Jews for sinking the Titanic. The rabbi looks confused and
mad and says, What are you talking about? The Jews didnt have anything to do with that! An
iceberg sank the Titanic! The Korean guy replies, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg, whats the
difference?

Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to
leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station. The
husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there
wasn't even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife. No
sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped Charlie on the shoulder
and motioned for him to come over to her."I couldn't do that," he whispered. "Your
husband is my best friend!""Listen, sugar," she whispered back, "there ain't nothing
in the whole wide world could wake him up now.""I can't believe that," Charlie said. "Certainly if I get
on top of you and screw you, he'll wake up won't he?"Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe
me, pluck a hair out of his a**hole and see if that wakes him."Charlie did just that. He was amazed
when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and f***ed her.
When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn't long before she tapped him on the
shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was
asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie scr**ed the woman, he first
pulled out one of the husband's a**hole hairs. The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke
and muttered: "Listen, Charlie, old pal, I don't mind you fucking my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop
using my *ss for a scoreboard!"
 THE CANGGU WEEKLY 22

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