WHY PEOPLE ARE USED

AND THINGS ARE LOVED

AKINWUMI AKINOLA
INHUMANE Why People Are Used and Things Are Loved

Copyright @2016 by Akinwumi Akinola

+234-8066868276

Cover design and layout by: Sola Olododo (+234-8052188731, tribe@creativetribestudios.com)

Edited by: Okobi Maryjane (+234-8100059731, maryjane.masteringwriting@gmail.com)
Published by ThinkMore Solutions, Suite B-07, Kenuj 02 Mall, Kaura District, Abuja, Nigeria

4
Introduction

I have been thinking: why do men treat their fellow human beings as
if they are inferior and unimportant? Why do we treat others un-
fairly for varying reasons; sometimes in the bid to rise up? Why do we
take others for granted? Why have we accepted unfair treatment as
normal as far as the victim gets by and still has life in him/her? These
are my big questions! Should we be more interested in your success
than how you achieve it? Should we take a census of people whom
you have cheated, compromised, mentally and physically abused just
to achieve your goals and targets? Should we worry about the kind
of legacy you leave behind when you sit in a respectable position but
disrespect others, including your colleagues and subordinates just to
keep that title? Should we be more concerned that you are redefining
success and goal achievement even if you have to batter, malign and
trample on others who should look up to you as a role model? The
questions are endless.

Inhumane treatment is fast ravaging our society; traversing every sec-

tor including religion, politics, family, business, culture and govern-
ment. Perhaps, it is an end-time prediction. Its weight is so heavy and
its denigrating effect on the human life, too shocking for anyone to
ignore. That is if you still have yourself - I mean your life put together
to understand this. That statement was not designed to insult you.
It is true that we have been too conversant and familiar with suffer-
ing and dehumanizing behavior to accept it as the normal. In fact, all
professions that thrive on power-broking rely on this malaise to feast
on the collective intelligence and dignity of the majority, particularly

9
Introduction

their unsuspecting clients, loyalists and followers. These dignity pred-

ators say you will get tired of seeking justice and fair treatment. They
understand the loopholes of the justice system enough to circumvent
it or wear you out of seeking justice until you retreat to your peace,
feeling cheated, denigrated, belittled and dehumanized.

The treatise in this book is not just about seeking justice - that can
only be its secondary goal. The goal is to identify the thin line between
fairness and ill-treatment; achieving success at all costs and achiev-
ing it at the right costs; improving empathy and seeking healing from
dehumanizing behavior. The key take-away for some folks will be the
impetus and skill to spot human abuse and all manner of unfair treat-
ment with the aim of nipping it in the bud before the circumstance
turns them a victim. You have only one chance to live your dream life,
and you have to protect this with all sense of dignity.

Keywords: vulnerability, manipulation, empathy, abuse, emotion, inhu-

mane, kindness, sensitivity, injustice, healing, experience, peace.

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 Content

CONTENT PAGE
INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1 WHY WE LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE

Any other delegated duty
The flipside of the coin: nothing goes for nothing
Anyhow, just get the results
Humanity, money and greatness
The bliss of self-interest
The littleness of selfishness
Redefining greatness lexicons
Cleveland Businessman

CHAPTER 2 INJUSTICES

CHAPTER 3 LEADERSHIP MODEL OF A WHORE

CHAPTER 4 CHOOSE KINDNESS

Obtuse rigidity
Love doesnt cost a thing
Correct modestly
Kindness is merrier
Chivalry and sundry business
Receiving kindness
Kindness reciprocated with evil
Kindness and entitlement mentality
Ignorance fuels inhumanity
Ignorance , inhumanity and religion
Magnanimous knowledge

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Content

CHAPER 5 THE MIRACLE OF SENSITIVITY

Before you speak
A bitter pill can be kind
Words in right doses
Necessary, helpful and timely words
When your kindness becomes useless

CHAPTER 6 HUMANITY AND STOCKHOLM SYNDROME

Features of abusive relationships
Learned helplessness
Speak out
She tempted me.
Physical and verbal abuse

CHAPTER 7 EMPATHY CO-EFFICIENT

Empathy versus Sympathy
Empathy: proof of maturity
Types of empathy
Disvirgined empathy
Understanding the feelings of others is not enough
Empathy distress
Scenario building
Business and empathy

REFERENCES

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13
 CHAPTER ONE

WHY WE LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE

People were created to be loved; things were

created to be used. The reason why the world
is in chaos is because things are being loved
and people are being used.
Why We Love Things And Use People

J ubril has just been hired by Mrs Judith, a politician, to be

her personal assistant. He is a graduate of banking and fi-
nance with little or no job experience. Though he graduated with a
good grade, it has been a herculean task competing with sons and
daughters of influential people for the few available vacancies. He
has aging parents at home to take care of; his siblings are look-
ing forward to a big uncle like him to pay their school fees. They
grew up in love, and had fond memories of helping one another
when in dire need. Though he has never thought of working as a
personal assistant to a politician, this seems like the only avail-
able option since he has been under the pressure to pay several
bills and survive. His colleagues are doing fine in oil companies
and multinational corporations, grooming admirable families of
their own. For him, marriage is the last thing on his mind now. He
just needs to put his life in order first.
He resumes to Madams house as early as 8 a.m. and closes by 7
p.m. Though his role was stated clearly in his appointment letter
(which many personal assistants do not have), he goes out of his
way to attend to all other delegated duties. After all, smart em-
ployers have a way of adding that clause in an employment con-
tract. For some, it is included as a strategy to enslave their work-
ers.

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

Any Other Delegated Duty

T he phrase any other delegated duty is not peculiar to Jubril. All

other members of staff have their own fair share of that vague
job description. Little wonder why her security man doubles as the
wash-man for her numerous cars and gardener. You need to see how
she shouts at the aged man for slacking in fulfilling any of these other
delegated duties. What will the old man do? He has no alternative to
survive, or so he believes. Though he bargained for the salary of a se-
curity man, he ends up playing 3 roles at the same time without any
incentive.

J ubril, being humane occasionally rewards the security man finan-

cially. See person wey dem help wey dey help another person o. E be
like say money plenty for your hand. Na him dey make you dey do charity
with your salary, Mrs Judith said harshly, after seeing Jubrils act of
benevolence to the security man.

Consequently, she decided to delay his salary for that month to punish
him for his undue act of benevolence. You see, I like you as a person,
but you make me look like the wicked boss for giving him money be-
yond what he has worked for, she added. Still in amazement, Jubril
wondered why he had to be punished for his charitable act. He con-
cluded that the security man must have offended Madam, who later
transferred the aggression to him by delaying his salary.

As time passed, Madam Judith started making overtures at Jubril.

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Why We Love Things And Use People

You know you are a very handsome young man and I understand that
you have needs. Just play by the game and you will enjoy a very robust
reward from me, she crooned. Jubril turned down the overture and
walked out of madams house to avoid being tempted beyond control
or being implicated. He got home thinking he had made a mistake.
No, not the kind of mistake you may be thinking about. He could have
seen this coming. He felt he made a mistake with his choice of job and
queried himself for not asking questions about Madams husband all
the while. But he said to himself, I didnt really have job offers to choose
from. I took what came along my way. But come to think of it, she prom-
ised lots of rewards. And I really need this money. What do I do now?

He returned to Madam Judiths house the next morning to apologize

for walking out on her. She seemed to care less about his apology but
insisted he should go and think about her proposal. Remember you
have what it takes to make you rich. Dont waste your talents. Even the
Bible says the gifts of a man will make rooms for him. You have a room in
my heart and I will be ready to open it for you when you are ready. You can
take today off to think about it and man-up.

Again, his ego was bruised. He felt slighted for being considered weak.
He decided to man up as she said, so he conceded to her proposal in a
short while. This other delegated duty went on for a while until Jubril
wanted to settle down with a lady he liked. Then trouble arose again.
Madam Judith offered to pay Jubrils girlfriend off. Though the lady
turned down the offer, she vowed never to marry Jubril after discov-
ering he had been having an affair with his boss.

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

This, coupled with the fact that Jubril had never received any incentive
or reward other than his basic salary from Madam Judith, informed
his decision to resign.

Evident in this narrative, are several flags to watch out for in people
who treat others unfairly. The most noticeable of this being abuse of
respect. Such people evaluate your worth based on how you appear
and the societal clout they see around you. The easiest people to treat
unfairly are those who have no money, power or influence whatso-
ever for they are the lows of the society. They treat people unfairly
and keep them ignorant so that they never become enlightened to the
unjust treatment being meted out on them. They defeat the boldness
of the victim, subtly threaten the victim and promise incentives they
never fulfill. All of these happened to Jubril but he was nave about
the little details.

It is inhumane for you to disrespect people because of their status;

whether you pay their salaries or not; whether their life depends on
you or not; whether their oxygen for the next minute is in your hands
or not.
Even a lunatic still deserves some
Appearance can be de-
ceptive and folly hides
dignity
under ceremonial re-
galia sometimes. Even
a lunatic still deserves some dignity. You owe nobody nothing except
their respect and dignity. If you have a friend who claims to respect you
dearly, verify his humility by observing the way he treats people who cannot

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Why We Love Things And Use People

help him in any way. The inhumane easily despise people who are helpless.

It is unfair to expand the scope of work for a contract after signing it.
It is unethical to subject such employee to the job description of three
people without any recourse to how he will feel. Thats inhumane. Of
course, some factors supply and favor such unethical practices. For
example, Jubril was a victim of abuse because he felt he had no option
of survival. So this injustice pervades our society because we have a
lot of people who feel helpless because they have gone through a lot.
The abuser is aware of this before he strikes with his plan; she feasts
only on vulnerable people. When you intentionally cheat your subor-
dinates, you are emotionally abusing them because you cause them to
suffer and sorrow unnecessarily. Jubril shouldnt have expected a bet-
ter treatment from someone who treated his security man so harshly.

There is dignity in labor only if you are not ripped of your reward. Your sal-
ary is your reward, not a favor from your employer. The moment you have
to beg to be paid, or your salary is unduly held back without explana-
tions, your dignity in that work is diminished. This has nothing to do
with how much you earn. It is about your personal respect and dig-
nity. Similarly, when
your boss begins to
reiterate your weak- There is dignity in labor only if
nesses in order to you are not ripped of your reward
disempower you, he
is seeking for a way
to abuse you.

Once your self-awareness and self-worth are defeated, you easily buy

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

into the opinions others hold about you. You feel helpless and assume
all the help you need will come from them. Manipulators and oppor-
tunists feast on your vulnerabilities and desperation to abuse you.
This is the reason why many people do not open up their life to others
so easily. It is also dehumanizing for your superior to call you demean-
ing names and labels even if you are not performing. Name calling
terminologies like fool, truant, busybody, good-for-nothing, and other
abusive languages that rip others of their dignity and self-worth are
demeaning.

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Why We Love Things And Use People

The Flipside Of The Coin

Nothing goes for nothing

O ne may want to ask why Madam Judith would take that

lane of immodesty despite her career success. You see, we
cannot judge her without listening to her side of the story. She
started her career in banking shortly after her National Youth
Service. She was ambitious but nave. She had a good start in
marketing and her pay was relatively good for a fresh gradu-
ate. Everything seemed to be going very well for her until the
day a customer promised to give her a huge account: an ac-
count she had to compromise her virginity to get.

Shortly after, she was laid off from work and it looked like her
entire life had crashed. Her ravishing beauty ensnared her ev-
erywhere she turned to for jobs. The relatives she supported
in school, who were now working, deserted her. She was deso-
late, rejected and felt betrayed. Her savings could not take her
further. She had to do something fast, so she went back to her
bank, requested for a loan and guess what? Nothing goes for
nothing, her colleague uttered and unconsciously changed her
paradigm. Even you? she retorted. She felt she had no option

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

so she slept with him.

She got the loan but changed her paradigm about seeking favor
and help from men again. She became selfish and harsh on all her
employees. She wouldnt even believe anyone wanted to help her
with no strings attached. She hated men for this and vowed nev-
er to get married as she concluded that all men are the same. She
would only get young men to please her sexually as long as she has
money to give back.

Of course, that was working for her before Jubril came up and
that reinforced her belief that nothing goes for nothing, and that
she could can get anything she wants as long as she has money.
She doesnt need a man; she needs to be in charge and control of
when to and how to get laid. So she says to you she doesnt love
men; she loves sex and uses men.men; she loves sex and uses men.
Though she wasnt raped, her sexuality was abused; her diligence and
dedication to work was abused. She was betrayed and endangered.
Though, that is not a sufficient reason to be hostile to your workers
and treat men as things, Madam Judiths experience stresses the fact
that every inhumane person has a conscious or subconscious reason for
treating people unfairly, justifiable or not. However, its all a matter of
CHOICE.

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Why We Love Things And Use People

Anyhow, Just Get The Results

T he idea of getting results at all costs is driving a lot of people to

frustration. Proponents of this school of thought tell you to of-
fend people and apologize later. While it is understandable that the
end justifies the means, you had better be sure you are treading a no-
ble cause even if it doesnt align with the dispositions of people you
are ready to offend.

Average minds get results anyhow; great minds get results the right and no-
ble way. If you burn bridges on your way to stardom and fame, you will expe-
rience either of two things: have a high friend turnover rate or lose good
friends as quickly
as you make them.
Though you may be Average minds get results anyhow;
successful by stan-
dards of results, the great minds get results the right
way quality relation- and noble way.
ships persistently
elude you will make
you miserable. Also,
people will stay around you for the wrong reasons, usually for what
they can get. If you desire to enjoy your success, how you get your
results is as important as getting the results. These are two non-nego-
tiable qualities greatness requires.

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

Humanity, Money And Greatness

M oney is a powerful tool that strongly influences human behav-

ior. It can announce your strengths and weaknesses alike. It will
amplify your vision and make obvious your human flaws. It is often
said that you can never tell a mans character until he becomes rich; he
has to pass the money test. However, money and good character are
rarely in agreement. It is easier to respect people when you are poor
than when you are rich.

It is extremely difficult to be deeply attached to money and strongly

committed to serving humanity concurrently. Emotional attachment
to money predisposes human beings to a high tendency of being con-
trolled by it. Hence, this attachment limits the will of man to serve hu-
manity. Even though money is designed as a complement to serve humani-
ty, personal greed and the self-serving nature of men limits the achievement
of this. This is the reason why many people will never be great.

Greatness is natural when money is deployed to achieve outcomes of

serving humanity and such outcomes are multiplied and distributed
largely as services and products that can be rewarded. Kindness or
serving humanity in its real sense does not mean you will be poor;
your reward depends on how you can manage this chain of multiplying
your capacity to serve others, distributing it and tending its reward.

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Why We Love Things And Use People

The (ir)responsibility of money

Money is the root of all evil, many have said. That, however, is not
true. Money is not the root of all evil. It is the love of money that is the
root of evil (including inhumanity); the reason a man would not mind
cheating on his wife as far it pays his bills. And even if he is not in dire
need, he sees it as an opportunity to free fortune. Perhaps, we need
to ask further questions: if you have to choose between money and
your closest ally, which would you choose? Dont tell us your answer
will depend on so very many things. You will be amazed at how cheap
your highly esteemed relationships with people are and how fickle hu-
man conscience can
sometimes be. As a
matter of fact, many The truth is helping men is not
(not all), will choose
mutually exclusive with becoming
to enrich themselves
with money at the rich; both can be achieved concur-
detriment of their rently. However, money has a ten-
next of kin, hoping
to win their kinship
dency to control human behavior if
back through the inner strength and character is not
same money they well built
were traded for. Of
course, the argument
of these money-ruthless people is that their next of kin or spouses are
in the relationship for self-serving interest and that it doesnt have to
be directly financial to be beneficial and self-serving.

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

Everybody looks for profit. And this is this reason why I salute ladies
who go on the mystery walk with a man, marrying him and hoping
things will get better for even if he has a fantastic plan, nothing is ac-
tually guaranteed in life. It requires such a level of boldness to serve
others without a primary ulterior or self-serving motive. This does
not in any way suggest that you try to solve the problems of everyone
that you meet. Neither does it suggest that you should not desire to be
rich. Balance is important.

The truth is helping men is not mutually exclusive with becoming rich; both
can be achieved concurrently. However, money has a tendency to control
human behavior if inner strength and character is not well built. The
less you know about money, the more likely it will make you misbe-
have over time.

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Why We Love Things And Use People

We Are All Minimalists

why people cannot bear your burden

E veryone has his own trouble; everybody has issues. The trouble of
each day is sufficient for it; hence everyone is trying to minimize
his baggage. This is the minimalist propensity we have as human be-
ings. Sometimes, selfishness is a competition for survival and grit. It
wears the garb of forever seeking more, even after being saturated.
The illusion of this is that we lose ourselves in the pursuit of money
and material acquisition which we have relied on to help us find our-
selves, explore better and live bigger.

It is all a trap. We get disappointed at how money becomes incapa-

ble of solving all our problems. I once attended a meeting where the
speaker advised every unmarried man to cultivate a skill of discerning
the baggage in a lady before taking her to the altar. In his words, Ev-
eryone has a baggage. It is your responsibility to skillfully find out the
load and baggage a lady is carrying, be sure you can join her to carry it
till eternity, before you say I do to her. By baggage, the speaker was
referring to the burdens, weaknesses, challenges and issues each indi-
vidual (male or female) is dealing with. No matter how cruel that may
sound, it is true that everyone has burdens, weaknesses and issues.
Some of these burdens have been unresolved for ages, while others
just require a little help.

As human beings, we must admit that we are limited in the help we

can render to others since we are not the messiah. We also must re-
member that we have an individual threshold or capacity to carry the
pains and sufferings of other people, no matter how dear they are to

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

us. People who desert friends in the face of trial usually do not quit on
the first day. They process it and decide to quit when their threshold of
resilience can no longer carry the burden of their loved ones.

Human beings are not afraid of tolerating pains and sufferings wheth-
er it is personal or for other people. However, human beings are curi-
ous to know three things:

1) The extent of pain.

2) Tenure of pain: how soon such pains will expire.
3) The positive outcome of pain.

It is the uncertainty about these three questions that scares people

away from painful or sacrificial help. When none of these questions is
answered, such help becomes an unbearable burden that the benefac-
tor cannot process; therefore, his logic will reject it.
The nature of man to reduce his burden is a survival strategy. It is a
way to protect his longevity, peace and comfort. Irrespective of how
inhumane and inconsiderate this may appear, everyone wants to ask
why do I have to go through this pain? It is like asking what is in it for
him. The answer to this is embedded in question three. Sometimes,
the self-interest (what is in it for you) may not even be a personal re-
ward; it may just be that your dream of helping others is fulfilled.

For example, if you donate a blood to a patient

I. You are sure blood donation is not harmful to you.
II. You are sure you will replace the donated blood in a matter of days.

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Why We Love Things And Use People

III. You are expectant that the blood will save someones life.

These three conditions have to be met before your logic would align
with your goodwill to donate. Note here that you may not receive di-
rect benefits. However, you feel gratified and proud saving another
persons life. In other words, your self-interest was met. That does not
necessarily translate to greed and selfishness.

The Bliss of Self-Interest

W hen it comes to helping others and sharing opportunities, life has

two major ways it presents this. First, life can present circum-
stances in which you would have to choose between helping yourself
and helping others. The design of man is to self-protect and self-pre-
serve before opt-
ing to help others.
In such cases, there The design of man is to self-pro-
is no cause to feel
guilty of selfishness. tect and self-preserve before opt-
ing to help others
Self-interest is part of
the human design. It
is that tendency to al-
ways think of yourself first in a group of friends. Imagine you took a
group picture and it is transferred to your phone. When you open the
picture, who would you first look for? The odds are that you would
look for yourself first, find out how you look before thinking of check-
ing through with others. Thinking about you FIRST is SELF-INTER-

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

EST but thinking about yourself ALONE is SELFISHNESS.

Secondly, life can present you circumstances in which you would have
to choose between helping yourself alone or helping yourself and oth-
ers. In this case, choosing yourself alone can be said to be selfish. In
other words, anytime you have an opportunity to help and it does not
threaten your survival, yet you refuse to do so, you may be somewhat
selfish.

The Littleness In Selfishness

S elfishness is a sign of low thinking. It is a survival mindset that be-

longs to the jungle. The idea of competing with others in order to
survive is perhaps the most demeaning characteristic that human be-
ings share with animals. Competition is good, but it must be healthy.
It should be premised on the mindset of abundance, not scarcity.

When premised on scarcity, competition stirs extreme jealousy and

brutality because it is believed that you have to destroy another groups
house before you can ever have resources to build yours. In contrast,
when premised on abundance, competition spurs creative imagina-
tion that seeks for untapped opportunities, potential and resources
to be sourced to build an edifice that suits you, and stands better than
your competitors.

When I was an undergraduate, I saw a scholarship opportunity for a

program I was very passionate about. I shared the information with a
couple of friends and they all indicated interest to apply. We had less
than twenty-four hours to the close of application. We, all my friends,

31
Why We Love Things And Use People

procured the form except for this particular friend who couldnt afford
it. I looked into my pockets and found out all I had with me was my
monthly stipend. It wasnt even sufficient for my feeding at that time
so I naturally resisted the urge to help my friend procure his form. On
a second thought, I didnt want him to be left out among friends and
miss that opportunity so, I got him the form from my stipend and re-
signed to fate. We all travelled down to a neighboring city to write the
scholarship exam. You see, because we were broke, we leveraged on
the power of flock. We sought discount from taxis as we commuted;
we flagged cars in the rain so we could bargain at a cheaper price as
commuters were reluctant to travel in the rain. Transport companies
were ready to lift passengers and part with small profits to maximize
the time expended while it rained.

Two weeks after, we expected response from the scholarship body.

They had been issuing letters, awarding scholarships to others, but no
one in my group of friends got one. Then one afternoon, we were to-
gether and my friends phone rang. Yes, you guessed right. It was that
particular friend who couldnt afford the form. He had been offered
a partial scholarship and was requested to report in the scholarship
office for further briefing. Again, we donated his transport fare and he
travelled down the next morning. While he was there, he just noticed
people crowded at the notice board. Out of curiosity, he moved closer
and saw the list of people awarded scholarship. My name was there!
When he inquired why I was not reached, they told him I must have
missed their call or perhaps my phone was switched off. He called me
to share the news and I was very excited about it.

I kept asking myself several questions: What if I hoarded the infor-

32
 Why We Love Things And Use People

mation because I felt my friends would limit my chances of being se-

lected?
What if I didnt procure the form for him? What if I was se-
lected and he wasnt there to see the crowd around the board?

We miss out several opportunities we are not aware of by rationing the

little we know. Holding back from helping others has a way of limiting
our capacity to grow beyond self. Have you noticed that the people you
invest in when you are fit and capable are those who nourish you back
when you are old and your energy and competences have dipped? At
some point in my learning curve, I had a lot of educational resources
-audios, videos and
articles- which took
me several years to "We miss out several opportunities
research, download we are not aware of by rationing
from the internet
the little we know
and archive on my
laptop. One day, I
was returning from work when robbers forced their way into my car
and stole my laptop. Unfortunately, I didnt store my files online.
There were presentation slides that took me four years of research to
put together; there were articles very special to me. For a knowledge
worker like me, stealing my laptop was like taking me back four years
back.

I felt very empty but the only thought that gave me respite was that I
had shared many of these resources with my friends and partners. The
volume of what I shared with others (particularly my team member)

33
Why We Love Things And Use People

was the extent to which I could recover my lost files. Again, I asked
myself: What if I never shared my resources with people? What if I had no
protgs I had shared these materials with? The key lesson is to under-
stand that interdependence trumps independence, and no entity, na-
tion or people can be entirely independent. We can exercise our free-
dom, make our decisions but we must never limit ourselves by trying
to achieve greatness
alone. At some point, Interdependence trumps indepen-
you will always need
others, irrespective dence, no entity, nation or people
of their social status can be entirely independent
or
pedigree.

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

Redefining Greatness Lexicons

Why our closets are full and our hearts are empty!

T he parameters for judging an individuals greatness has changed

from intrinsic characteristics to material acquisition, popularity
and power. A lot of young people doubt their greatness because they
dont seem to fit in the societal description of greatness. The society
has ingrained some faulty paradigms in us that make us judge others swift-
ly based on the glamour, glitz and material possessions we can see around
them. Even though the real great guys do not doubt their character,
confidence and substance, they sometimes feel lost, empty and uncer-
tain when the society rewards their complete opposite.

The society thinks you are smart when you outsmart others; that you
deserve respect if you drive a fashionable car or wear an expensive
clothe; that you are incomplete as a single adult; that you are too se-
rious for being ambitious; that you are harsh and stubborn for doing
what is right; that you can buy anything you want with money; that
you can treat anybody anyhow so far you pay their salary.

Every human being responds to their eco-system in different ways.

Some become the thermostats, others become the thermometers.
Thermostats regulate their eco-system while thermometers conform
to the temperature of the eco-system. A lot of high-value great in-
dividuals are constantly disrespected and their opinions discounted
because they do not have material proof to show for their wisdom.
This is putting a lot of pressure on the millennials, driving them to
desperation for money, fame and wealth without recourse to process,
learning and proper rework of their character. The danger in this is

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Why We Love Things And Use People

a mass incubation of half-baked people who are proponents of get-

rich-quick schemes and do-your-own-thing mantra. Churning out
people whose behavior and character have not been tried and tested
over time increases social disorder among millennials.

The story is told of a man who returned home and found out his son
had made some inscriptions on his brand new car. He was so furi-
ous that he flogged his son, chopping off his hand in the process. The
child bled profusely and was rushed to the hospital. He eventually lost
his little finger and kept asking his dad while on hospital bed, Dad,
when will I get my fingers back? The father broke out in tears, regret-
ting his action. On getting home, he wanted to evaluate the extent of
damage the child had done to his car only for him to read what the
boy inscribed on it: I have the best dad in the world. He was highly
disappointed at how he reacted to his sons misappropriated love. He
finally committed suicide because he couldnt bear the guilt of seeing
his sons hand that way. Greatness is a very scarce commodity which
requires a strong level of sacrifice and selflessness. It prioritizes hu-
man character and dignity over material acquisition.

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

Cleveland Businessman

H e was born to a very poor family but he determined he would

be very rich. As a con-artist with a reputation for ruthlessness
and dishonesty, his father attempted to teach him craftiness as a way
to get ahead of others but his mother brought him up with a strong
Christian faith. I do business deals with my sons and I always try to cheat
them to make them sharp, his father once told a neighbor.

At age 14, his fathers sexual scandal compelled his family to relocate
and hide in Cleveland. There, he marketed his skill of book-keeping
to businesses and got a job to support his family. At 21, he became a
popular Cleveland businessman. At 33, he earned his first million dol-
lars. At 43, he controlled the biggest company in the world. At 53, he
was the richest man on earth and the worlds only billionaire. At some
point, he controlled about 1% of Americas wealth and was responsi-
ble for more than 90% of its oil business. Then, he had a medical con-
dition called alopecia which made the hairs on his head drop off, his
eyebrows wither and he was degenerating. His weekly income was one
million dollars but he could only feed on milk and crackers.

His capitalist approach had seen his company swallow up many com-
petitors and budding enterprises. His monopoly was disgusting and
he was strongly hated in Pennsylvania. For this reason, he could not
sleep. He moved around with body guards and enjoyed nothing in life.
The doctors predicted he would not live over one year. The newspaper
had written about his obituary in advance, so they could use it when
the news of his death broke.

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Why We Love Things And Use People

Those sleepless nights got him thinking. He realized he couldnt take

one dime into the next world. He discovered money was not every-
thing. The following weeks, he found a new light. He began to give his
amassed wealth to the churches, poor and under-served people. He
provided the site for
the New York head-
quarter office of He that is ready to keep his life
the United Nations.
will lose it and he that is ready to
He invested several
hundreds of millions lose his life will keep it.
of dollars to kick-
start the University
of Chicago. He invested in the medical research that led to the dis-
covery of penicillin. He founded the Rockefeller Foundation. Though
the doctors predicted he would not live over fifty-four years, John D.
Rockefeller lived up to ninety-four years. Bottom line: He that is ready
to keep his life will lose it and he that is ready to lose his life will keep it.
To lose your life is to serve humanity! John D. Rockefeller is regarded
as one of the toughest businessmen that lived, but his most profound
testimony came from a humane and supposedly weak stance - defeat-
ing self and serving humanity relentlessly.

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 Why We Love Things And Use People

BOOK SUMMARY
Inhumane treatment is fast ravaging our society, traversing every sector including reli-
gion, politics, family, business, culture and government. Its denigrating effect on the hu-
man life is too shocking for anyone to ignore. We have been too conversant and familiar
with suffering and dehumanizing behavior and accept it as normal.

This book reveals how organizations and individuals perpetuate unjust and dehumaniz-
ing behavior to feast on the collective intelligence and dignity of the majority, particularly
their unsuspecting clients, loyalists and followers. It explains how you can be guided in
expressing goodwill, kindness and empathy in a way that you cannot be taken advantage
of. You will be able to spot, prevent or heal from unfair treatment and abuse. You have
only one chance to live your dream life, and you have to protect this with all sense of
dignity.
AKINWUMI AKINOLA

Akin is a peak performance coach, leadership consul-

tant, trainer, public speaker and development practi-
tioner.

He has invested several years consulting for upwardly

mobile companies, bringing cutting edge strategies to im-
prove the performance of businesses and organizations.
His experience spans across management consulting,
project management, life-coaching and non-profit sector.
He works as a consultant with ThinkMore Solutions and
convenes The Employability, Leadership and Entrepre-
neurship (TEMPLE) Academy where he teaches on these
subjects. His core mandate is to identify and fix attitude
and behavioral problems in people and organizations.

His research areas include mental health, reproductive and sexual health (emphasis on
sexual behavior), emotional intelligence and organizational leadership. He holds a mas-
ters degree in public health. He is available to speak at your conferences, seminars, in-
plant trainings, strategy sessions and personal coaching.

You can reach him on

www.akinwumiakinola.com
Coaching@akinwumiakinola.com, akinwumi.akinola@gmail.com
Twitter: @akinolaakinwumi, Mobile: 234 806 686 8276

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