Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Jamie Fankhauser
UWRIT 1104
Angela Miss
February 6, 2017
Rhetorical Analysis
The type of academic discourse I chose to analyze for my rhetorical analysis paper is
scholarship writing. I chose to deal with scholarship essays, because when comparing it with
other academic discourses I consider it my strongest outlet for writing. I began writing
scholarships prior to attending the university in efforts to earn as much free tuition that I could
obtain. Although I am currently attending UNC Charlotte on an athletic scholarship, I did not
receive a full ride, and still wanted to push myself to save my parents money. I have never
considered myself a compelling writer, but I believe the process of scholarship essays allowed
me to see the potential I have to be an effective writer. My mom served as a primary discourse
for me and encouraged me to fill out a scholarship essay each month during my senior year of
high school. These writings required me to use a secondary discourse, and I often opted to find
the topics I felt comfortable with, but I did venture out of my comfort zone on numerous
writings. Out of all of my essays I felt most secure when writing about athletics. Each of my
essays encompassed the idea of faith, soccer, and extra-curricular activities. I put timeless hours
and effort into creating meaningful essays that conveyed a specific message. Although I
acknowledged I would not triumph in every scholarship, I wrote as if I would; by doing so this
improved my writing all around. This process of writing helped me gain the knowledge needed
The scholarship I decided to analyze in depth for this project is one that I ended up
winning. This scholarship is entitled the Kenny Potts Memorial Scholarship and is offered to a
different athlete in my community each year. Danny and Gail Potts created this scholarship in
memory of their beloved son that passed away at such a young age. Kenny Potts was a male
soccer player that lost his life in a tragic car accident when he was only 20 years old. This
scholarship awards a player who exemplifies the same characteristics that Kenny possessed,
which include his passion for the game of soccer and his religious ideologies. A memorial was
set up in memory of Kenny by his parents and the 75 Stars soccer team 10 years ago.
Just as the Gee article explains how one can use correct grammar but in the wrong
context, I made sure my grammar was in the correct context for this scholarship essay. I intended
to convey a specific message when writing my essay to Danny and Gail Potts, that being one of
sincerity and interest. When looking back at this essay I feel as if it was written in more of a
primary discourse context rather than secondary. In most cases your basic scholarship essay
would include a secondary discourse, but my audience and context made my writing compare
more to a personal note. I made sure my paper included professionalism but overall the paper
was written as if I knew them personally making it less about the grammar and more about the
context. I desired for my writing to show the Potts family just how much their sons story
impacted me. I also wanted them to grasp the type of person I am, along with my morals and
values. I did this by making sure each sentence was displayed in an active voice making the
essay clear and concise. I strayed from a passive voice all around which made it rhetorically
effective. Although it is effortless to speak about my faith and athletic accomplishments, this
essay required me to go in depth and use a more profound discourse. I wanted them not only
noticing my athletic abilities but my leadership capabilities as well. I desired for the Potts family
Fankhauser 3
to understand my belief that an athlete should be well rounded and be a leader in the game, a
positive role model and committed to learning (Fankhauser 2). I wanted my essay to extend
further than just the sport of soccer, showing the life long principles I have obtained from simply
playing this game. My message was simple yet profound in meaning and emotion. I put my main
focus on the structure and style of my paper in efforts to make it one of my best-written works.
This category of scholarship writing was simple for me to write about because I have
personal ties to the soccer club and sport. This essay required me to appeal to all modes of
persuasion. I initially didnt notice my use of ethos, pathos, and logos until rereading my essay
numerous times. I largely appealed to the sense of emotion in efforts to connect with my
audience on a more personal level. I had the knowledge of knowing I was addressing an essay to
a family with a hurting heart, and I knew it was important for me to convey my words in a way
that were sincere and genuine. Rather than mushfaking my way through this essay I became
vulnerable and revealed myself to this family on a more personal level. I wanted my speech to
relate as heartfelt rather than rehearsed. By incorporating personal life examples such as dealing
with the loss of a precious grandfather that made me question many areas of my life and by
discussing trials I have had to deal with made me reveal myself to them in a way that made this
scholarship essay become more distinctive. Although I knew I couldnt relate to them in the area
of loss that they experienced, I wanted to make known that I knew what it was like to go through
a passing of a loved one. By doing so I feel as if I went beyond the surface and tapped into my
true emotions, which was noticeable in my writing. I incorporated the persuasive mode of logos
by creating a list of all my accolades. I understood emotion alone wasnt superior enough to win
this scholarship and desired for the Potts family to notice that my life wasnt just surrounded by
the sport of soccer. I implemented soccer as an avenue not only in developing my body but to
Fankhauser 4
gain a deeper sense of maturity in my mind. The lessons learned on the field, extended far
beyond the reach of a goal line (Fankhauser 1). I desired for them to understand soccer hadnt
just taught me how to kick a circular ball into a net. It had taught me teamwork, dedication,
drive, leadership, and more. It was important for me to add these attributes in my essay for them
to acknowledge that this sport was much more than just a sport to me. I placed a strong focus on
the delivery and created an essay filled with reasoning and logic. I implemented my religious
beliefs along with my extra-curricular activities in this writing. Along with reasoning, one of my
main goals was that my audience felt like they had a solid idea of who I was as a person.
After receiving this scholarship in person by the Potts family I felt as if my writing didnt
do justice to convey my true emotions about his memory. This family began to cry as they placed
this scholarship in my hand, which gave me the realization of just how highly they thought of
weaknesses when writing this essay because of the immense time and effort I put into it. Through
scholarship essays I learned the importance of understanding what discourse you should use
depending on the topic at hand. It is important to know your audience along with the exact
content you are to be discussing. In many essays I would often stray from the content that was to
be presented, but scholarship essays allowed me to have an exact criteria for what to express.
This method of writing helped me develop a deeper liking for essays. I believe this liking was
due to me being allowed to choose the type of writings I felt would exemplify my strengths.
Writing about sports allowed my discourse to have a strong affect on those reading my essays.
Also, it allowed me to express my thoughts with logical reasoning, due to having a strong
knowledge on the topic at hand. Scholarship essays allowed me to see the potential I have to be
Works Cited