essay

by Amy Ruiz

FILE 217SP-ENGL-1302-01_56919977_1049986952_ESSAY.DOCX (109.34K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED 20-FEB-2017 12:25AM WORD COUNT 843
SUBMISSION ID 773404764 CHARACT ER COUNT 4146
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Awk.

Frag. WC

Missing "," 2 Awk.

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Missing ","

4 5
Awk.

WC

7
Awk.

8 Awk.

WC Missing ","
 Awk.

Awk.

S/V Agreement

Awk.

WC

Awk.

Awk.

10

Frag. 11
12

14 Awk. 13

WCMissing ","

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Awk. Awk.
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18 17

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Awk.

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WC

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essay
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

70
PAGE 1
/100

Comment 1
f ont

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

QM Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.
 Comment 2
captured and sent

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

Comment 3
is this "a witness" or "witnesses"

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

Comment 4
McVeigh's

Comment 5
captured

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 6
where do you talk about ethos

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
 hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

Comment 7
need better insight

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 8
loss

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

PAGE 2

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM Awk.
 Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM S/V Agreement
Subject-verb agreement:
Subjects and verbs should match in number and person. Singular subjects require singular
verbs; plural subjects require plural verbs.

Comment 9
look at how to indent block quotes

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 10
I don't understand what you are trying to say

Comment 11
In

QM Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
 dawn."

Comment 12
topic sentence should connect element with insight

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 13
served

Comment 14
comments

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

Comment 15
these

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
 T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

PAGE 3

Comment 16
this should not be block quote...look at rules f or block quotes

Comment 17
Do you mean that "T he governor explained that the people of Oklahoma are the most beautif ul
and strong human beings"

Comment 18
the governor? or the president?

Comment 19
you may only f ocus on the text...not the delivery...

Comment 20
what is the purpose of this sentence?

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 21
I don't understand this sentence

QM WC
Word choice error:
Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very dif f icult
to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too
hard to come up with a f ancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a
handy tool when you're trying to f ind a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one
you're looking up. However, it can of ten introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it
has exactly the same meaning.

Comment 22
I don't understand

Comment 23
 need more in conclusion

Comment 24
I don't understand

PAGE 4

Comment 25
Cited