Professional Documents
Culture Documents
The conversations were having though, havent Our lives are complex, complicated, messy even.
changed much. In 2007, I participated in the This is especially true for LGBTQ people as we
Soulforce Equality Ride, a cross-country mobile seek to sort out the difference between what
social justice project bringing the questions of the spirit tells us and what society tells us for
gender and sexuality to Christian college cam- better or for worse about our lives, loves, bod-
puses with anti-LGBT policies across the United ies, faith, and humanity.
States. Over and over I answered the question
Im convinced that we have something invalu-
(usually asked rhetorically),
able to offer those that wrestle with the reality
How can you possibly consid- of faith. Something the world, and the Church,
er yourself a Christian if youre and the believers, and the doubters, and the
gay? skeptics need to hear and to experience.
I began to realize that I was attracted to oth- I have talked about Leviticus 18:22 (Thou shalt SPIT & SPIRIT moves beyond the question of Is
er guys in my early teens and my first thought not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is it OK? and is instead an offering of our unique,
was, What does my Christian faith thave to say an abomination, King James Version) literally and sacred, perspective. It will be reflection, dis-
about this??? In fact, I was probably wondering more times than I can remember. course, confession, prayer, and conversation.
that before I had even crystalized the thought I The question that comes up SPIT & SPIRIT is a journey. Thanks for traveling
might like guys. most often when talking about with me.
In the early days of the internet, there were few queer spirituality is, Is it a sin
resources available and I devoured everything to be gay?
I could get my hands. Pro-gay, anti-gay, search- But we have so much more to of-
ing-for-a-third-way-gay, and anything else that fer.
could offer any insight into what I was going
through. The experience of being lesbian, gay, bisexu- Brian Gerald
al, transgender, and/or any of the multitude of Publisher
Today, a search for gay Christian turns up one ways that people are queer, colors and enriches
hundred thirty four million results. People are our livesand our faithsin bold and beautiful
Whats Doubt Got To Do With it Called To Faith (Sorta), an interview with Chris Stedman
5 14
If you read anything else Ive written, you may Some of us, facing the reality that we need
see there the pull between faith and doubt, be- not stay in the faith of our childhood embrace
tween certainty and unknown, between hope that freedom and choose a new way to struc-
and despair. ture our lives. While others refuse to be forced
out of our spiritual homes and instead choose
Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender peo-
to stay and fight and transform the communi-
ple are often harshly accused of choosing
ty.
choosing a lifestyle or an orientation, choos-
The faith of Rev. Mel White in the redeeming On the Equality Ride, I shared a bus with Bap- Our queerness calls into question our faith
power of God to transform even Jerry Falwell tists, Methodists, Presbyterians non-denom- and our identity. We must wrestle with our-
into a friend and ally (he wasnt, at least in inational Evangelicals, and Methodists. And selves, with God, and sometimes with others
this life). also Buddhists, agnostics, atheists, and even to sort it out. We find a faith that makes sense,
one Lutheran-Pagan. that fulfills, that liberates, that celebrates.
The faith of my best friend Micah that his par-
ents would one day use the correct name and The experience shattered everything I thought When we come out the other end of that pro-
pronouns for him (they did). I knew to be true about faith and spirituality. cess, we have a faith that is ours. It may be
a confident atheist or a renewed Christian or
The faith of dear friends in the power of God Growing up, my friends at church and Young-
something else entirely. Whatever it is, no one
to save them from the grips of alcoholism. Life were Christians and, presumably, most ev-
can say that we take it for granted.
eryone else was simply not. While in college,
The faith of others to pack up and move across
my faith-filled friends were the ones I attend- There may be doubt but there is also choice.
the country for seminary.
ed Campus Crusade for Christ with, my friends And a chosen faith is a powerful one.
I see faith that one day we will lead our own from the dorm were just my regular friends.
If this article resonates with you, would you dis-
lives.
And here I was confronted with atheists and cuss it with your friends and family (in person or
That churches will ordain us, that society will agnostics who looked more like the Jesus I online)? Click here to tweet about it.
marry us. read about in the Bible than even myself. Peo-
ple with unconditional love and compassion,
Faith that HIV/AIDS will be brought to end, who lived their lives with deep intention, who
that women will be honored equally to men. befriended and sought to understand every-
Faith that we can build a society where ev- one they encountered.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new But I didnt really understand it, Id never lived
it.
creation; the old has gone, the new has come! From my evangelical perspective, being a new
creation meant that Id thrown off the shackles
2 Corinthians 5:17 of Original Sin, I now had Jesus as my co-pilot
and would be better equipped to make the
right decisions, and I was pardoned for any
My middle school youth group leader Dave to happen to them. I wanted them to be saved Life camp triggered the beginning of the end of the bad things Id done up until that point.
OConnell asked, If you believe something too. of our friendship, if I had to do it again, I would
It was all very academic, some theoretical
but it doesnt change your life, do you really still invite him. I loved and cared for him that
As I grew older, I became more and more aware tabulation happening in Heaven. I didnt feel
believe it? Ever since, that question has an- much enough to lose him to save him.
of my attraction to other guys and felt more like a new creation. I felt deeply emotionally
chored my beliefs to my actions.
and more out of place at my church. Still, in High school ended and over the following few and spiritually moved during worship, and es-
In middle school, I believed that Jesus had eleventh grade when I fell in love with my years, I let go of more and more of my Evan- pecially during the talks and prayer times at
died to pay for my sins, to save me from the best friend, I didnt hesitate to invite him to gelical beliefs. I still wanted to believe them, camp. But my day-to-day existence was rather
punishment and torture of hell. I believed that YoungLife camp. He, surprisingly, agreed to to hold them near methey were comforting ordinary.
anyone who didnt accept him into their heart come. and familiar but I noticed that I wasnt liv-
In March 2007 I was on-campus at the Uni-
and turn their life over to him would suffer ing them out. I couldnt really claim to believe
Over the week at camp, he accepted Jesus into versity of Notre Dame when a student there
an eternity of torment. And so, with that be- in them.
his heart and turned his life over to Christ. asked for more information about our group,
lief firmly intact, I set about witnessing to as
He also made new friends from our school at BORN AGAIN (AGAIN) Soulforce, and the activities wed planned for
many friends as I could.
camp and over the rest of the summer, our our Equality Ride stop. I explained we were
2 Corinthians 5:17 was one of my memory
I invited them to youth group, summer camp, friendship drifted. traveling the country starting conversations
verses in sixth grade. If anyone is in Christ he
the fun church activities, and even Bible study about faith, sexuality, and gender. I handed
I remember thinking that even though Young- is a new creation; the old has gone, the new
and Sunday school. I didnt want anything bad him a flyer detailing our events for the com-
Unexamined racial privilege. I believe that Sin is real and pernicious and
evil. I see it more now than ever beforein
Nationalism. the torture of innocents in the name of mil-
Violence. itary might, in the economic injustice which
causes my country to have more empty homes
Transphobia. than homeless people, in the horrible condi-
tions in which my electronics were produced.
Sin is real and ever-present and seemingly in-
Faith has the power to enact real, measurable escapable.
differences in the world. But not in a magical
I also believe absolutely believe that heal-
way. Faith is powerful only when it is transfor-
ing and reconciliation are possible because
mative. Only, as Dave OConnell insisted, when
Ive experienced them in my own life.
it changes you.
Today, I have been transformed into a new cre-
Now, this is what I believe:
ation. And its all because Im queer.
I believe that Gods love is big enough for us all.
Thank God.
All of us, even the people I dont like, even the
people who have hurt me. Even Fred Phelps. Sound off. How have you been transformed?
1. We admitted we were powerless over al- 8. Made a list of all persons we had
cohol that our lives had become unmanage- harmed, and became willing to make amends
able. to them all.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater 9. Made direct amends to such people
than ourselves could restore us to sanity. wherever possible, except when to do so would
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our injure them or others.
lives over to the care of God as we understood 10. Continued to take personal inventory
Him. and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral in- 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to
ventory of ourselves. improve our conscious contact with God, as we
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to understood Him, praying only for knowledge of
another human being the exact nature of our His will for us and the power to carry that out.
wrongs. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove result of these steps, we tried to carry this mes-
all these defects of character. sage to alcoholics, and to practice these princi-
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our sh ples in all our affairs.
ngs.
I remember as a teenager scouring the Inter- wanted acceptance. They wanted you to affirm What is merely an issue for many theologians At the end of the day, whatever a straight
net, looking for theology on homosexuality. their sin. and authors is my daily lived reality. I can nev- Christian concludes about homosexuality may
Books, articles, sermons, Bible studies any- er escape my attractions to men, I live with have little impact on his life. It might affect his
Sinners are always trying to justify their sin, I
thing that I could get my hands on. The box- them daily. A straight Christian might pick up theoretical beliefs. It might even affect his re-
was told.
out lessons in my Teen Study Bible left some- homosexuality for a moment and look at it. lationships: with co-workers, family, strangers.
thing to be desired, I needed more. And so I approached anything written by gay Herm, this is what it looks like. I think thats It remains always an intellectual decision for
people with skepticism. Can I really trust this bad, he might conclude. Or he might consider him, one to consider or dismiss, contemplate
Even in 1997, there were resources written by
person? Arent they just trying to justify their homosexuality and decide it to be acceptable. or ignore, accept or reject.
gay Christians. What?! People claimed to be
sin? In any event, he puts it down and moves on
both gay AND Christian? Id heard at church Homosexuality is not an academic consider-
that homosexuality and Christianity were in- What I was really looking for was a straight just as easily as he picked it up. ation for me.
compatible. Homosexuals were sinners and person to tell me that it was OK to be gay. But I, I live with it, I live in it. My queerness is I dont have time for quaint theology. For pack-
perverts. They didnt just want tolerance, they I needed their impartial, unbiased opinion. If
If, for example, youre reaching out to Mus- The march of social progress is long, slow, in-
lims, invite them to tell you about their expe- cremental, and not at all linear. (In that way,
riences being a minority in America, to share the comparison to pushing a boulder up a hill
what challenges they have faced, and to let is apt.) It requires patience and dedication. But
you know what you might do to be in solidari- right now, there arent enough marchers.
ty with them. Hopefully, they will extend their
So my big picture dream is that well someday
hand in return.
live in a world where everyone recognizes that Faitheist will be released in November 2012.
Thus, where before there was only one person they have agency, that they have a unique con- You can pre-order it now on Amazon.com.
advocating for LGBT inclusion in civic life and tribution to makeand that their neighbors
Photos of Chris Stedman by
one advocating for Muslim inclusion in civ- do too, no matter how different they might
Evan Clark, event for the Humanist Chaplain-
ic life, there are now two people advocating seem. Where people recognize that the circle
cy at Harvard; Evan Clark, speaking at Califor-
for both. Thats just one recommendation, but of who belongs must be broad enough to en-
nia Lutheran University; Jon Hooten; Shaylah
it has worked well for me in my interactions compasss everyone.
DeViney
Coming out has been my single great- no, I had not. The following week, he asked if I
est act of faith. It was greater than choosing would stay behind class and we talked about
to move across the country for college, greater my answer. I hadnt accepted Jesus as my per-
than quitting my job at a television network sonal Lord and savior not because I was op-
and taking a 50% pay cut to work for The Sim- possedthe moment had simply never arose.
ple Way. Coming out was a greater act of faith He asked if I wanted to, I said yes (I actually
than when I turned my life over to Jesus and probably said Sure). That night, or maybe a
accepted Him as my personal Lord and savior. few nights later, I laid in bed and asked God/
Jesus into my heart. And with that, it was done.
I grew up attending an Evangelical Presbyte-
rian Church. My parents met in high school on I dont mean to understate my conversion ex-
a bus to YoungLife camp. Our closest family perience; it would go on to define my adoles-
friends were from church, or YoungLife, or oth- cence and young adulthood. Youth group was
erwise deeply committed Christians. Of course my central social activity throughout middle
we had friends who were non-religious or ob- and high school and friends from church were
served other religions (or practiced Christian- among my closest and most steady. My evan-
ity differently), but they were the exceptions gelical Chrisitian faith led me to bring friends
that proved the rule. to church and camp for evangelism, inspired
me to serve on work crew for YoungLife in high
My conversion experience was
school and Summer Staff in college, it took
simple and brief.
me to the Czech Republic for a service project
Mr. McKinnon, my 6th grade Sunday school building playgrounds (and playing soccer and
teacher, assigned us homework each week. wall ball with neighborhood kids).
One week, one of the questions asked if we had
But while the ramifications of that decision
accepted Jesus into our hearts. My answer was
Before coming out, I played out every possible I remember the moment so clearly: an attrac-
scenario. How would my parents react? How tion between myself and a new friend that I
would my friends react? What next would met through high school friends. We were to-
I date? Would I ever be sexually active? How gether at a mutual friends house watching a
would I continue as a Christian? What would movie. We sat next to each other. And then,
my employment opportunities be like? slowly, our fingers and hands began to inch
together. I was approaching the point of no
What is the fate of my eternal soul?
return. Eventually, they touched; then inter-
I wanted to have it all figured out before locked. We held hands for the remainder of the
coming out. To have a neat and tidy package movie and it was like I had been born again.
to present to myself and to the world that said,
That night, after our friends had fallen asleep
This is who I am, this is what I believe, and on couches and the floor, we shared our first
this is how I will operate within the world. kiss. The next day, I (belatedly) admitted out
Thats not how it happened. Instead, a time loud to him that Im attracted to men. That
came when I knew that I could wait no longer. night, I met up with my friend Jennifer and
told her in person. The next day I told my oth-
It began benignly enough. Then, somehow, in When I realized that it was up to me, it be-
a way I would never have seen coming, we are came easier. Because there was nothing any-
talking about how I am gay. And how wrong I one could do to take this faith away. Id named
am. And how, when they tell me I am making it and claimed it. Id found my Truth. And even-
a mistake, it is only because they loved me. tually I found others who share that Truth.
And in that moment I realize that they havent Together we are, every single day, building a
changed. In the past three years I thought I new world and bringing forth a new way of
was giving them space, being patient, allow- practicing faith.
ing them their process; but in reality I was
This faith that Ive fought forthat weve
being silent. They hadnt changed because I
fought foris hard won. Its not something I
hadnt asked them to change. And in that mo-
will ever take for granted. Every day I inspect
ment I also realized that America would need
it, analyze it, and question it. Its not conve-
people to ask her to change. I could be that
nient, its just True.
person.
And if Truth is for us, who can be against us?
And thus began my activism. I could no lon-
ger stand to be two halves: a gay Brian and a
Christian Brian.
The troubles of the world are big and scary and overwhelming.
And I am only small and simple.
the existing boxes. We are all brothers and We have more to offer the world
sisters in Christ. Gay people can be loving, than what we are not.
committed, monogamous, married too. The There is something liberating and life-saving
prevailing discussions are around why (or why about the Gospel. Ask me about how as I wait-
not) gay relationships should be affirmed. The ed in the silence and isolation of the closet
clobber passages. Adam and Eve (not Adam scared to tell anyone that I was gayJesus gave
and Steve), Sodom and Gomorra, Leviticus and me the courage and God washed me with the
abominations, Romans 1 and unnatural pas- grace and love to stay strong and true to my-
sions, 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy and homo- self. Ask Bram Wispelway about how the Gos-
sexual offenders. Those dont say what you pel motivated himwithout knowing a single
think they say about us is our reply. gay or transgender personto join theEqual-
Enough. ity Ride and be an advocate for LGBT justice
across the country. Ask Micah about the inspi-
I will no longer be defined by what I am not. If ration he finds when the scriptures say that
you have questions about my worth and dig- God has given you a name greater than sons
nity, readWhat The Bible Says (and Doesnt and daughters. Listen toShay talk about cru-
Say) About Homosexuality by Mel White, cifixion and resurrection and the real, tangi-
There is an impulse in LGBT activism toward ple are the same as their straight neighbors, read Jesus, The Bible and Homosexuality by ble meanings they have in his life. Let me talk
fitting in. That we are just the same as you, we save for the gender of their lover. Jack Rogers, watch Fish Out of Water, watch to you about how questioning my sexuality
just happen to like people of the same gen- Call Me Malcolm, read Trans-Gendered: The-
But it is not true for all of us. The beauty of caused me to look seriously at my faith and
der. Or, Im just a woman, just like any other ology, Ministry and Communities of Faith. For
gender and sexual minorities is that we get to find one deeper than I ever thought possible.
woman. the love of God stop asking me about it. Stop
upend everyones notions of sex and gender.
asking your gay friend, your lesbian daughter, Ask me about how the queers I know em-
This desire to not to rock the sexual or gen- That is our gift, not our hindrance.
or your genderqueer coworker about it. Talk to body the church in Acts where there were no
der status quo is an authentic reality for many
Similarly, there is an impulse in religious dia- your therapist or your pastor. Talk to my pas- needy persons among them in a more real
people.Many trans* people are in fact men or
logue around LGBT issues to place queers in tor, if you need to. way than I have ever seen before. How we re-
women and nothing more. And many gay peo-
Thats my fancy professional bio. Heres the inside scoop: I see my work as bridging the online-offline gap. I am an activist and an entrepre-
neur. I work at an office as an employee, and online as a business owner.
My work comes in a variety of formats: free writing, via email to subscribers; shirts and merchandise with the Legalize Trans* campaign; this
monthly queer spirituality magazine, SPIT & SPIRIT; an on-going series of videos on YouTube; occasional paid online offerings; and public
speaking and workshop facilitating.
I also work as a digital strategist for non-profits. If you access it through a screen, Im figuring out how to leverage it for social good: web-
sites, social media, digital video, email marketing, online fundraising.
CREDITS
Creative Commons photography used in this issue by
Holly Lay Hartwig HKD amboo who? Hindrik Sijens Sheu Hau Chow Fabiana Zonca
Cea. Michelle Makar Parker Kevin Morris smithfineart.comt
Photographs of Chris Stedman by Evan Clark, event for the Humanist Chaplaincy at Harvard; Evan
Clark, speaking at California Lutheran University; Jon Hooten; Shaylah DeViney
#SPITANDSPIRIT
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