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Prologue:
It is not a fictional story and it doesnt have any action like that in
movies. It is a book about my insanity in the path of love. It is
about the paths that my life crossed, that molded me into what I am
today. After reading my story, you may find it hard to decide
whether it was a romance novel, a history book or if it was written
to show a way to those who are crazily in love. None of it is true
though. I have written it to grant some strength to my broken
courage, to make myself believe that there is still something to live
for.
Its a tale that will keep you captivated in it from its first sentence
to the last. I have spent 16 years writhing in this insanity of love.
You will get an idea of much love can hurt after reading this book,
but the pleasure of bearing that pain can only be understood by
those who have felt it. It is an open book, just like me. I have
written everything that was buried in my heart.
Its a unique story from an empty and dry desert of Registan that
started with the innocent desire of a physical relationship and
reached the heights of sheer love. It is a distinctive story with such
suspense embedded into it that will force you to flip page after
page. Despite its individuality and suspense, this story is close to
reality. None of the events described in it are fictional. Every
single thing is based on truth.
This story will take you to those dark, hidden secrets of rural areas
that you may have heard of but could never have seen while living
in a city. This story will tell you that it doesnt matter if a person
belongs to a developed country of west or to a backward Asian
village, since the emotion of love is implanted in every humans
nature. In this story, you will see love blooming in a world filled
with terror and you will learn this reality that the never-ending
sentiment of love doesnt see any boundaries.
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Just the way God is the last destiny of a person, the last destiny of
a book is a movie or drama based on it. Please share the reference
of this book with your friends if you like it. My book may find its
last destiny that way. Thank you for your precious feedback.
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The heavy wooden door opened with slight acridity and Tarzan
appeared in the doorway. His real name was probably Lakhwindar
but with a height of 6 feet and weight of about 90kg, that
traditional Sikh primate was no less than a Tarzan.
Heavy rain descended upon earth and silence filled the air. Even
the slight acridity of the door hit my brain like sharp pinching
needles. I sat in a street behind the restaurant with my back against
the wall, like a gambler who had lost all his treasures. The heavy
rain of winter had soaked me from head to toe. My cell phone lay
abandoned a few inches away from me, having almost lost its
battle of survival against the rain, but my shivering body still had a
few signs of life left in it.
For a moment, it did feel like my heart had stopped beating, but
then life slowly made its way back to me. A few steps away from
me, life flowed with all its glory in the restaurant. A little while
ago, I was also a part of it with a fake smile on my face.
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Razi, pick up the phone. It can be an emergency call. My owner
said while putting a hand on my shoulder.
Aslam, whose full name was Mohammad Aslam was a four feet
tall man, who had a little limp in one of his legs. It was the person
that I hated with a passion. It was the same Aslam whom I had
tried to kill at the age of 13. I cant say if it was his fortune or mine
that the bullet meant for his heart hit his shoulder instead, and he
survived. But I dont know why his death hurt so much today.
Are you okay, son? It was the voice of my mother, who stood
beside my father. It brought me back from the past.
She looked old with huge dark circles under her eyes and white
hair on display without a scarf. Time had mercilessly aged her way
before her time. In fact, it wasnt time that had aged her. It was me.
I am that ill fated person who made his mother suffer.
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I see some extremists protesting against the immigrants. I do not
have enough courage to tell you about the difficulties of life
outside Germany.
My father used to say that life isnt anything like the dreams shown
in movies, but its a hollow that swallows you down.
Son, please come back home. My fathers eyes were filled with
tears.
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Son, please come back soon. I am too tired now. My mother said
while holding my fathers shoulder for support.
Buddy, come back to Pakistan at least once. I want to ask for your
forgiveness. Maybe you will forgive me if ask for it while holding
you in my embrace. My fathers voice trembled as he cried.
My patience slipped. It was the first time that my father had cried.
It felt like everything had finished all of a sudden. I looked at
mother. Those strange empty eyes, that carried lots of unfulfilled
desires, were fixed on my face. My legs became numb. My brain
suddenly stopped working while looking in my mothers eyes, and
I felt myself falling down on the floor. My cell phone fell a few
feet away from me and got consumed by darkness. The last thing I
felt was the door being opened by Tarzan before I fell unconscious.
The empty desert beautifully covered its part of land. Chill wind
blew at a snail's pace. The moon shone at the sky in all its glory.
The musical sound of anklets filled my ears.
I picked my head up from the sand and tried to stand up. But my
legs refused to carry the weight of my body, making me fall again.
Razi, have you still not forgotten me? She asked while slipping
her fingers through my hair.
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She came closer to me. She sat on her knees and placed my head
on her lap.
I raised my eyes to look into her green ones which let a stray tear
fall onto my dry lips, and I swallowed it. That singles tear was no
less than the fountain of life for me in that desert. That one drop
was my life worth of savings. That one drop ended the thirst of my
whole life. It revived me.
Razi, this pain will kill me. I am unable to bear it any longer.
She cried uncontrollably and her tears fell on my face like
dribbling rain. Perchance this is love.
It is the love that makes a person fight even God. It was always
love that made me fight all the rules created by God and society. It
was always love that made me experience hardships in Greece and
Germany for past ten years, for a married women with two
children.
Yes! She is married and a mother of two kids, who goes to sleep
on her husbands bed every night like a lifeless statue.
Razi, America ended the slavery of this world. Then why was I
fated for this slavery? Why was I sold in for 300? Razi, dont you
ever hate America. She loved America a lot.
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She was illiterate, couldnt speak English at all. But whenever I
brought a Hollywood movie, she would sit on floor and watch it
with such respect. She didnt care about the story of movie. All she
wanted was to fill herself up with the beauty of America.
Such selfless people also exist in this world and one of its
examples was the owner of that Indian restaurant.
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I think I should have started my story from the beginning. You
people may have become bored by reading my story. Because it
isnt a typical story that always ends on a happy note.
Then Eman came into my life and begun to call me Razi. She
never liked the nick name Nano, so she always called me Razi.
Then, just like that my family members and other people begun
calling me Razi and forgot that they ever used to call me Nano.
Razi, the name given by Eman is still connected to my
personality. Even today, whenever someone calls me Razi, I feel
her near me.
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fields and I spent my day climbing the trees. It felt like I was flying
whenever I sat on the top branch.
Even now, at the age of thirty, I still like to climb trees. Ive
climbed all the walnut trees that surround our camp. Even now I
climb a tree to sit on its highest branch whenever I feel sad, and it
comforts me a lot. I climb back down when the sadness decreases a
little.
There was a little pool of water near our home. It was used to
supply water to the whole village. Green grass surrounded that
pool. Hundreds of fireflies used to appear there out of nowhere
every time the darkness set in. I would always go out after having
my dinner and try to catch them. Whenever I got hold of one of the
fireflies, I brought it home to enclose in a glass jar then I would
place the jar near my pillow and go to sleep watching the fireflies.
My grandpa always prohibited me from doing so but I never
listened to him.
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I still remember that day. I woke up early that morning. My
grandmother was following her routine of making butter out of
curd and I was sat near her, playing with little stones. Suddenly the
door opened and a woman walked in with her little daughter.
Sure mom, I will do that. She placed the child down and my
other aunt took the chance to swiftly pick her up.
Hey, Nano, come here. See your mother has arrived. Grandma
decided to call me all of a sudden. I threw my stones to the ground
and came to my grandma.
Samina, look our Nano has grown so much. Grandma took hold
of my hand and placed it in the hand of that woman.
Mom Thats all I had to say for her to sit down and hug me.
This was the woman who had carried me inside her belly for nine
months and fed me for one year. Those twenty one months were
much more than the four years that I spent with my grandparents.
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My mother cried hysterically while holding me to her. I had
hugged my grandparents and aunts uncountable times in those past
years. I had hugged my grandma while smiling with joy and crying
with sorrow and it had always soothed me. But now that I hugged
my mother, I felt unexplainable comfort. Perhaps this is why God
has created mothers. My mother cried and kissed my face
relentlessly.
Its your little sister. She took Irum from my aunt and placed her
in front of me.
Irum, baby its your elder brother. She said while putting a hand
on Irums shoulder. That little girl perked up and started blinking
her large eyes repeatedly.
I held both of her little hands in one of mine and caressed her
cheeks with my other hand. God has blessed me with three
brothers and one sister, but I loved my little sister the most.
Sisters are always ready to sacrifice for their brothers. She also
loved me the most out of all four of her brothers. Whenever I
wavered in life, it was Irum who supported me. She had her own
hands bloodied while trying to provide me with support. They say
that an elder sister is like a mother but this little sister of mine
helped me like a mother. She broke herself while trying to help his
brother in every aspect of life.
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Today she is happy in her home with two kids, but this painful
journey has aged her before her time. Her hair has turned white at
the age of 28, but she says that she is happy. I hope thats true.
If life allows, I will surely seek her forgiveness one day. She has
forgiven me a long time ago but I still want to ask for her
forgiveness. Maybe it will make my life a bit better. Maybe it will
reduce my pain and grant me comfort.
Nano baby, take her inside. See if your aunt has made the tea.
Grandma said while pointing towards the inside of house.
And there are biscuits inside, feed them to your sister. Grandma
said again, so I nodded, held my sisters hand and led her towards
the kitchen.
Three days were left to the wedding of my uncle. Mom took hold
of everything in house once she arrived. The house was filled with
guests by the evening. Irum got scared when she saw so many
people but I stayed with her the whole day.
The next three days after wedding were busy for everyone. Mom
and grandma both kept themselves busy but I didnt leave Irum
even for a single moment. She also became attached to me and
followed me everywhere.
The wedding was over. Mom was packing her belongings and
preparing to leave. It had been a total of seven days since my
mother had arrived. She was going back after finishing everything
up when I said that.
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No, I will go with mom and I will go now. I wiggled out of her
grip and ran to my mother, sticking with her legs like glue.
Its fine dad. I will take him with me. You can take him back
when you visit Bahawalpur after a month or two. That way he will
bond with his other siblings as well. My mother said to my
grandfather and he nodded.
Alright, you can take him with you. I will bring him back after a
month or two. Grandpa placed a hand on my mothers head.
We opened the door and walked inside. Inside, the whole family
sat around a stove made of mud in the yard. They were dipping
biscuits in their tea and eating them.
When the residents of that house saw us, they placed their cups on
the floor and surrounded us. All my siblings were happy to see me.
Both of my brothers took me inside to show their books. I adjusted
with them pretty quickly. In the upcoming days, my father decided
to send me to school and I started my new life. I began to make
new friends and new relations.
He would come back from market any time between 3pm to 4pm.
After arriving home, he would separate the donkey from its cart,
water him, feed all the animals and return home before it got dark.
We used to try to help him after returning from school but he
always refused. He was illiterate. He couldnt read or write but he
knew so much about vegetables and animals. He kept telling us
about different types of vegetables and ways to take care of them.
Because I had stayed away from home for first five years of my
life, my dad loved me more than my other siblings. Whenever I
tried to him after school he would always stop me. He would teach
me how to work but not let me linger at the camp for long. He
would pick me up in his arms when I would insist.
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player than me, so when he asked for captaincy, I silently backed
away.
I played in his captaincy for next two years and then a boy in our
neighborhood took the captaincy from him. I and my brother
played as captains for first three years but after that none of my
brothers or I could ever get it back.
The life in high school was much more romantic than that in
primary school. It had students from twenty to thirty villages in it.
It was a big school and boys came to study there from far away
villages as well. The school had more than thousand students. I
also felt like I had dived into a sea after a lifetime of living in a
well.
They say that a person never forgets his first love. I spent two
years in the search of love. Our village changed a lot in those two
years. Electricity brought TV and VCR along with it. My father
also brought TV and VCR home just like other people. Our family
had prospered a little. Dad had a bathroom and a drawing room
built after collecting some money.
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There was an empty house in front of ours which belonged to the
lambardars. A servant of lambardars came to live there with his old
mother. The lambardars had sympathized with him since the house
was free. He was 4 feet tall and older than fifty years. He had a
little limp in one of his feet since birth. His name was Aslam but
the whole village used to call him Langra (lame).
It was the same Aslam who left eternal marks on my life. He was
the man that I hated infinitely. He was the man who had both me
and Eman roam around him. He was the center of both our lives.
He was the one who married Eman.
A poor and old man The villagers took pity on him, collected
some money and made around 30000pkr which is equal to around
300 German Euros. The village head took this money and married
Aslam to a girl from Gujrat. Her father took the 30k rupees and
gave his daughter up to the old man. She came to our village in
exchange for 300 Euros.
You can still find such areas in Pakistan where daughters are sold.
I dont know what compels fathers to sell their daughters but they
still do it. TV and media have controlled the situation a lot now,
but Im talking about 20 years back.
Brother, why hasnt the Baraat arrived yet? My little sister Irum
asked.
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It wont take long buddy! See Im also here waiting with you. I
glared at my sister. She was irritating me for past half an hour.
The marriage has been done so long ago. I wonder why they
wont come out of the mosque. As soon as I said it, children
begun shouting below that the Baraat has arrived.
Nano, Im going downstairs. I will see the bride from there. Irum
hurriedly climbed down the roof and I was left there alone.
O my moon, I relished the moment your eyes met mine for the
first time. That qawali by Nusrat had created a strange
atmosphere.
Love had started its course. My search had come to an end. That
bride was Eman my Eman, whom I had loved tremendously. I
liked that beautiful ten years old girl in the firsts glance. She was
even younger than my sister Irum.
She wasnt old enough to be married but she was wedded anyway.
She was sold in exchange for 300 euro and she silently came to our
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village. She wasnt even old enough to fall in love, but she still fell
deeply in love with someone. She had learnt to dissolve in love in
her childhood. She had matured way before her time.
The guests stayed in front of our door for a bit before they went
inside the house. Only a kid or two were left in the street. I also
came back downstairs.
Waheed took me inside the house again. A fat man sat there to
serve the drinks. We took our glasses and went to him nervously.
Since we already had our drinks, we were scared that he would
recognize us and refuse to give more, but it didnt happen. He
served us the drinks again and I sipped it while standing there with
Waheed.
Hey mate, lets go see the bride. I felt like looking at the bride
again. She looked so pretty in the first glance.
Mate you arent a girl, why are you so excited to see the bride?
Waheed glared at me. Its true that only girls are excited about
seeing the bride. The reason I had stood on the roof was Irum
because she loved seeing the brides.
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Oh come on! Lets just have a glance inside and we will go back.
I held his arm but he didnt listen. He snatched his arm away and
left the house.
I thought about going inside for a moment but then decided against
it and stepped out as well. Darkness was beginning to set in. I
wandered around for a few minutes before I returned home.
Rizwan, son Irum still hasnt come back. That idiot must still be
in the wedding house. You go quickly and get her back. Its late
night; your father may get angry. Mom was worried. I rashly went
back to the wedding house.
Irum, you are still sitting here? Mom is worried at home. Come
on, I am here to take you back. Irum sat beside the bride in her
room and kept whispering in her ears.
Some other women were sat in the room. Irum had adjusted with
her because she was the same age as her. Irum was an exuberant
and playful girl. She was the only sister of three brothers and we
fulfilled all her wishes, so she had become too mischievous.
Her eyes were fixed on mine. Those eyes held a strange kind of
grief in them, like that of an unfortunate tree which has lost all its
leaves to the cold wind, which is tired of fighting back against the
cruel cold weather. She had the same grief in her eyes like a tree
that is just about to go down. She was a phenomenon beauty with
those stunningly sad eyes.
Brother Rizwan, lets go! What are you thinking about? Dont
you want to go home? Irum shook my arm, making me remove
my gaze from hers. She bowed her head again.
The fear of upcoming night was evident on her face. That dark
night was going to change a convert into a married woman. The
world calls it the wedding night. I reluctantly took Irums hand and
walked towards my house.
Now make some breakfast for me. We will go there after having
breakfast. I said while walking towards bathroom.
No, I only want my little Chinese doll to make breakfast for me.
I teased her and she begun blinking. Everyone called her Irum in
the house. Only I called her Chinese doll sometimes. She loved
this name but never let anyone else call her that. She would get
angry if someone else called her that.
Here brother, she must be sitting in the room. Irum held me arm
and led me inside the room.
Only three women were present in the room. Eman sat on a cot in
front of us. She had changed her red dress from last night and now
sat wearing a light green dress. She had a same colored scarf on
her head and minimal makeup on her face.
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There wasnt much makeup to be used at that time. They just
applied Tibbat cream then whitened the face with powder, applied
Kajal in eyes and red lipstick on lips, and that was all.
Eman wore the same makeup. Her face was naturally white and
powder had enhanced it. Wearing a red lipstick sat the most
beautiful girl of this world there.
Eman how are you? You look so pretty. Irum went to sit with
her.
Eman your bangles are also pretty. Irum grabbed her hand to
place on her own lap and begun playing with her bangles. She
spoke a lot, kept annoying everyone in our house as well.
Irum Eman removed her hand from Irums face, held both her
hands in hers and stood up. She looked straight into Irums eyes.
Im not happy. She let go of Irums hands and sat back on the
cot.
Im not happy. She raised her head and said it again, but this
time she wasnt addressing my sister she was addressing me
who was standing behind her.
She had said it while looking at me. Tears once again slipped down
from her eyes. She cried. An apocalypse had passed. Nobody else
felt it but that apocalypse had drained me. Although I was only
twelve years old, I understood everything.
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The pain of past night was written all over her face, a cruel night
which took away the innocence of childhood from her. What kind
of wedding night was that in which an innocent girl lost her
childhood?
Its nothing. She is a young child, she must miss her parents. She
will stay sad for a few days and recover. The other women
present in the room took part in the conversation and begun
consoling Eman as well.
Some people may not understand that grief. Some people may not
be able to get the depth of my words but changing the words
doesnt change depth of the sorrow. Only those people really get it
who have been through it themselves. We understood the pain of
Eman but we were powerless. There was nothing that we could do
no matter how much we wanted to.
I didnt understand his words at that time, but now after all these
years I find them true. I, Eman, her old husband, all three of us
were right in our own way. God mingled our lives with each other.
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Maybe Aslam had fallen in love as well because love doesnt see
religion or wealth. Love doesnt see if the other is Muslim or not,
then why cant an old man love a young girl? He had loved her
too. God had mingled mine and Emans lives too much. I loved
Eman with everything I had. Both I and Eman loved each other a
lot. God placed a little love of Aslam in between ours. Aslam had
loved her as well. Both of us were crazy for that green eyed girl.
He had also fallen in love while walking on this path of decay.
Irum cried in Emans embrace. Girls have fragile hearts. All they
take is a light blow to break into pieces. Eman had cried so much
for Irum to stand.
Look, our daughter Irum is here. Now who made her cry? Aslam
entered the room.
He wore a white shirt with a black trouser and his black hair was
drenched in oil. He had colored his white hair black. With gigantic
black moustache, he looked no less than the devil himself. He
lightly grabbed Irums arm and separated her from Eman.
I saw a wolfs face on his. I hated him in that moment. What kind
of man he was to make a ten years old girl the target of his lust?
What kind of a man he was to use a ten years old child the whole
night? And he called another girl her age his daughter. God hasnt
possibly made anything crueler than man. I was Irums brother.
Brothers are protectors of their sisters. I went to stand between
Irum and Aslam.
I will come back in the afternoon. You love pancakes, right? You
will eat, wont you? She offered her pancakes.
Oh yes, she will eat a pancake. Why not? Actually if you want,
you can take her to your home. That way she will see your house
and it will make it easier for her to adjust here. Aslam told Irum
and she became happy.
Alright, lets go. I also have to boil the potatoes. Ill make potato
pancakes. Okay Eman I will leave now. We live in that house in
front of yours. I will show it to you later. She told Eman and we
returned home.
Brother, we dont have potatoes at home. You get them for me.
You dont have any potatoes now? Just make some pancakes
without potatoes. I said unhappily.
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out of the field for me and I would have to do it by myself.
Digging earth for potatoes was quite a task.
Brother, please! It will be the first time of Eman visiting us. Get
me some potatoes please. Irum begged innocently but I hated the
idea of getting the potatoes.
Son Rizwan, come on get the potatoes. Look how your sister is
begging you. My mother took Irums side.
Mom, cant you make something else? Just make a sweet dish. I
tried one last time.
Mom, why dont you make some puff pastries as well? Irum said
while peeling the onions and my mother nodded.
Brother can you bring me flour from the inside? I will knead the
dough for pastries. Irum called me.
It felt like a feast at my home. I brought the flour and sat with Irum
to help her. We had everything ready in the next hour.
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Wait a minute son! Take some food for Aslam as well. Mom
handed me a few pancakes and some rice pudding.
Sure mom, I will take it. I took the food from my mother and
walked out. Their house was in front of mine. I crossed the street
and knocked on their door.
Come in, the door isnt locked. Someone called from the inside
so I opened the door and stepped in.
Uncle, mom has sent meal for you. She is calling Eman. I placed
the packet of food on the cot.
Alright, let her make the tea and then you can take her with you.
He picked up the packet of food.
Eman, quickly make the tea and go with Rizwan after that. Irum
must be waiting for you. He said to Eman and she begun blowing
faster. The wood still didnt spark correctly.
Eman give me the blower, I will spark the fire. You can check the
tea meanwhile. I sat at the other side of stove. Eman silently
offered me the blower.
Aslam sat on the cot, taking out pancakes from the packet. I
touched my finger to Emans hand while taking the blower. She
nervously looked at me and bowed her head. I was scared to touch
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her hand. My heart was tremulous. If Eman had screamed, I would
have gotten a beating and that beating wouldnt be anything
compared to what I would receive at my house by the hand of my
father.
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lambardars and worked in fields. He had a leave of two days for
the wedding and had to go back to work from the next day.
Uncle, mom said that we will make the dinner and send it with
Eman. You can start making food at your home from tomorrow. I
lied.
I just wanted to keep Eman at my home for a long time. Her being
silent at me touching her hands had raised my hopes. She didnt
mind me touching her hands. I would have covered the next stage
once I became friends with her. My rising youth needed someone
and I was trying to get that.
Okay, I will come to get her at night. I have to go visit the camp
and I may return at night. He agreed so I decided to try once
again.
Uncle, I will get Eman back myself. I wanted to try once more
on Eman.
I could hold her hand in the darkness of night. I felt that I could
succeed this time, but Aslam eradicated all my hopes.
No son, you dont have to do that. I will come to get her myself.
He said authoritatively.
Come on Eman, mom must be waiting for us. I told Eman and
walked towards the front door. She followed me silently.
Gosh you people took so long. I have been waiting for an hour.
Irum ran towards us when she saw us entering the home.
She took Eman to sit beside the stove with her and begun talking to
her. They ate the puff pastries while talking to each other.
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Look at you! Ive been working since morning and now that
Eman has arrived, you shunned me! Im hungry too. I got angry
when I saw myself being ignored.
I took the plate from Irums hand and sat down there to eat. I
enjoyed sitting with Eman. She had adjusted with Irum and both of
them had become best friends in no time. Eman told Irum about
her village. She had come here from Gujrat which was so far away
from Bahawalpur. We lived in a desert but it rained a lot in Gujrat.
That was a fertile place where rice and sugarcanes were cultivated.
Rizwan, you get up from here. Why are you sitting with the girls
and listening to their gossip? Mom scolded me.
Daughter Eman, how are you? Mom patted Emans head fondly.
You get out if you have eaten already. Let the girls talk freely.
Mom reprimanded me once again so I decided it was best to get
up.
You have to make dinner for her as well; I made an excuse for her
there. Uncle will come at night to get this aunty of ours. I didnt
want to get up so I made a sarcastic remark towards Eman, who
seemed to mind it a lot.
Irum, some people are such cowards that they shake in fear just
with the idea of touching their finger to someone. Eman lightly
said to Irum, making me scared for real now.
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If she had told them about what I did earlier, nobody could have
saved me from the wrath of my mother. I didnt want to ruin all the
respect that I had at home.
The smile still hadnt left her face. I was petrified by now. Eman
might have spilled everything had I stayed there for a minute
longer. So I just left them and walked towards my room. I lay
down on my cot in the room. A little while later, my brothers
returned after playing cricket. Irum came in a few times to take me
out but I refused. I didnt want to go out.
Brother, get up. The meal is ready. Irum came to call me to eat
with them.
Did someone say that the hero has headache? Eman once again
wanted to make fun of me.
Im fine. I got up, put my slippers on and went to the tap to wash
my hands.
Irum and Eman had the meal ready on a sheet in the yard. Our
family used to eat on floor after placing a sheet on it. I washed my
hands and sat on the sheet. We finished the meal with light gossip
and then Eman picked up the pots along with Irum.
Such a pretty child she is! Just like our Irum. I wonder why God
didnt write a good fortune for her.
Eman and Irum washed the pots together before they came to sit on
either side of my father. Eman had my whole family come to adore
her in a single day.
Uncle, do you want some tea? I make really good tea. Eman said
while placing her arms around my fathers neck.
Sure daughter, please make a cup for me. Dad lightly caressed
her cheeks.
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Dad, when did you start having tea? Irum asked my dad in
surprise. Our whole family was astonished.
Dad never had tea in his whole life. He never drank tea. In fact he
even forbade us from drinking tea. Only our mom used to drink tea
in our house. Sometimes we siblings would have some tea with
mother but our dad never did so.
My dear father will drink tea today, made by sister Eman. Amir
announced proudly. He was youngest of us all and had declared
Eman his sister the moment she had arrived.
Eman showed up with tea after a while and we all began to sip it.
My mother used to make good tea. Children always like the food
made by their mothers but I found this tea made by Eman tastier.
Eman was totally a tea expert.
Dad, uncle Aslam is at our door to get Eman. Amir said who had
gone to check the door after hearing the sound of knocking.
Son, tell Aslam to go back. I will take Eman back after packing
the food. Dad said to Amir and Irum got up to pack food for
Aslam. All the vivacity had suddenly left Eman and she looked
scared like a deer caught in headlights. She shivered lightly.
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Daughter, never think that youre alone. Irum is your sister and
these four are your brothers. This is your own house which you can
visit whenever you want. Emans face glowed when dad consoled
her. Her eyes shone with mischief once again,
Uncle, I have one sister and three brothers. This hero isnt my
brother. She pointed a finger towards me. Everyone smiled while
I look around guiltily.
Oh and why? Why isnt he your brother? Irum was enjoying the
whole conversation.
Yes brother Razi, Eman doesnt make about anyone her brother.
Irum sided with Eman.
Come on daughter, lets go. Its getting late. Dad took Eman
back to her home and we kept talking about her for a long time
after her departure.
Because it was school the next day, all of us prepared our bags and
went to sleep. When I woke up the next day, I saw Eman sitting
beside my mother, helping her to make the breakfast. Because
Aslam had to leave early in the morning and Eman would have
been all alone in that house, so he left her at our home.
Mom, why do you have this witch sitting with you so early in the
morning? My night had passed in peace. I felt more confident
since Eman hadnt revealed my secret.
Aunty, are you sure this is your son? Dont you think you should
ask the people of Sialkot if they have given you the right boy?
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Neither his face nor his accent resembles yours. She asked my
mother comically.
I wont catch the evil eye Irum, dont worry. Oh but dont forget
to save me from the people of Sialkot. I have heard they have evil
eyes. She looked at me from the corner of her eyes. I glared at her
and went to my room to change.
My brothers went to play cricket after having meal and mom went
to the fields. She had to collect the vegetables for dinner. Only
three of us were left in the house. I decided to talk to Eman again,
but Irum stuck to her like glue and my anger grew with each
passing second. I couldnt find a way to separate them. They were
talking in the verandah as I wandered from the verandah to my
room and back.
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Brother, whats the matter? Come here, sit with us. Irum didnt
understand my discomfort. I sat near them.
How are you, Mr. Razi? Eman looked straight into my eyes.
Razi I like this name. From now I will also call my brother
Razi. Irum placed her hand on Emans shoulder.
It was the start of my new name. Eman had named me Razi with
love. She always called me Razi and slowly this name became a
part of my personality. Now the whole village calls me Razi.
Irum at least change your uniform. You are still wearing it. I told
Irum so she went to change her clothes.
I was left with Eman in the verandah. I had finally found her alone.
Everything that I had planned in the school today vanished from
my mind. My brain stopped working. I had gotten only five
minutes. I couldnt find this chance again once Irum returned. I
had to do something in those five minutes but I couldnt gather any
nerve for it.
She sat in front of me with her head bowed down and Irum could
come out any minute. If she didnt consider me a brother than it
clearly meant that she wanted to be friends with me. I decided to
do something immediately, whatever may happen.
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Come on Rizwan, you have to do something. The devil
whispered in my ears and I placed my hand on her cheek. My
fingers were pressed into that ivory, soft cheek of hers.
What are you doing? She said loudly and slapped my hand away.
What happened brother? Why did you stand up? Please sit down.
Irum had come out after she was done changing.
No, no, its nothing Im going to the camp. Lock the door from
the inside. I tried to hide my nervousness and got out of the
house.
There, Razi just came. Dad saw me entering the house. He had
also begun to call me Razi like Eman.
Where did you go Razi? Mom caught my arm and tried to sit me
down beside her but I snatched my arm away.
What happened to him? He looks mad. Dad asked Irum who just
shrugged in response.
Go, get him back here and then we will eat. I have to sleep early
so I can go to work early in the morning. It got late yesterday as
well and I couldnt sleep properly. When dad had taken Eman to
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her home, he had sat with uncle Aslam there and came back late at
night. That is why he couldnt sleep properly.
I will go get that prince from Sialkot. Eman said loudly and
walked towards my room. I covered my face with blanket.
It looks like our prince is angry. Eman removed the blanket from
my face. She had come to my room alone. Everyone else was
sitting in the yard.
Come on! They are calling you. She picked my blanket up and
set it aside.
I wont come, and you can leave. I dont want to talk to you
either. I said crossly.
Come on, leave the anger now. See I am here to get you. She
tried to convince me.
Why did you come to get me? You go to your home and I will
come out by myself. I told her arrogantly.
As you wish, I came to be friends with you but perhaps you dont
want it. She said in a lovely tone and my anger dissipated.
No no, Ill come. Just wait a minute. I hurriedly said and sat up
on the cot.
Yes Razi, you are my friend now. She said it with a smile that
made my heart flutter.
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Son, Razi, take Eman back to her home. Dad said to me once we
were done eating.
Yes dad. I got up. The street was dark at that time and I wanted
to do something in that darkness.
Razi, have you heard the story in which a giant takes a princess
away and then a prince comes to rescue her after crossing seven
seas? She opened the door of her house.
Razi, maybe you can cross this street some day. Eman held my
hand tightly.
A princess lives across this street Razi. She slowly left my hand
and walked in her house.
Nano, buddy that new girl is very pretty. Aslam is an old man, he
could never attract her. You should try on her; she will definitely
fall for you. Waheed advised me.
Then Waheed left that girl and became friends with another. He
was my true friend.
I had been rejected my two girls and I was still a virgin. I got
another chance in form of Eman.
Some people must be thinking that why is Razi talking like this
now? Some people may feel anger towards me. But the truth is that
80% of the boys have the same callous emotion within them when
they reach out to a girl for friendship or love. Girls think in many
ways but boys always think in just one way.
I just want to write the truth here and the truth is that I am a boy
and I had paid attention to Eman just to fulfill my desires at first. I
wanted a girl and I didnt even have to struggle much for Eman.
So what do you say Nano? Are you going to fight for Eman?
Seriously she is stunning. Its like youve won a lottery. He said
blatantly.
No mate, she is a good girl a very decent one. You should stay
away from her if you dont want to get a beating. We used to
share all the secrets but for some reason I couldnt tell him about
Eman.
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5pkr on my way back from school and walked towards my home. I
knew Eman would be there and I took the peanuts for her.
I entered the house after lightly knocking on the door. Mom sat on
a cot in the yard and cleaned the rice. Slow music played inside the
room. Brother Tariq had bought a new cassette of songs by Mehdi
Hassan. The same music played in the room. I had come back from
school earlier that day.
Eman is listening to music there. Now you put your bag inside
and come back to eat. Ive made a dish with potatoes and
cauliflower. Mom told me affectionately and I walked towards the
room with my bag.
Hey Eman, how are you? I threw my bag in a corner and stood
in front of the door.
You How did you come so early? Eman hastily stood up when
she saw me in the room.
Has everyone returned or just you? She came near the door to
find a way out, but she couldnt leave because I was standing in
front of the door.
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Mom is outside in the yard. If you want to go there, you will have
to pay the tax. I said shamelessly. How could I waste such a
chance?
Please Razi, aunty will walk in. I will do whatever you say in the
night. Just let me go now! she begged me. She was scared that my
mother would walk in.
No. Just let me touch your cheeks once and then you can leave.
Please, just once. I will not do anything after that. I will silently
move to the side. I said miserably.
My face looked like I would start crying any moment. Finally, she
pitied me. She took a deep breath then held both of my hands
before placing them on her cheeks.
Eman you are so beautiful. I said slowly but she didnt respond.
She just looked at me silently.
She was shaking slightly. Mom was sitting outside and could walk
in any moment. If she saw us like that, I would have gotten a
beating and Eman could have never step foot in our house again.
Both of us were scared.
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things werent a part of childhood then what would be left in it? I
also felt fearless at that time.
I kept on caressing her face, slowly and slowly, and she kept
standing in front of me with her eyes closed. While caressing her
cheeks I placed my finger over her lips. Red hot lips over an ice
cold faceSometimes God does wonders. Eman opened her eyes
to look at me for a moment before closing them again. My fingers
wandered around everywhere on her face. Her whole face was in
my reach. My eyes were glued to her face.
Her face, white as snow, with thin red lips. Her face, was
shining like a moon, in my hands. She was confounded by the
contact of my hands and was shivering mildly. Her lips were
trembling.
Eman I lightly called her but she kept standing with her eyes
closed. Her face was in my hands when I moved my fingers on her
lips.
Rizwan baby! Would you live your whole life limited to the
face? The devil whispered in my heart and incited me to do more.
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Rizwan! Ignore the face, it is a world settled down to face.
Rizwan! Dare do more otherwise you would be disappointed for
the whole life.
I had one hand on Emans face and the other hand on her chest. It
was really a wonderful world. I placed my hand on her chest and
gently began to crush it.
With a loud echo, her hand left its marks on my cheek. I almost fell
down on the floor.
Eman scowled at me. She had slapped me with all her might. That
was why her fingers left their marks on my cheek. She seethed in
anger.
You were better off in Sialkot. Maybe you were born in the
wrong place. I cant believe a shameless boy like you could be a
part of such a beautiful family. She pushed me to a side, opened
the door and walked out.
My face now had the marks of her fingers. Mom couldnt hear the
sound of slap because of the music that played in the room.
Everything happened for the first time in my life. I wasnt sad
about the slap that she gave me. I received such slaps in the school
daily.
The government is trying to control it but there are still some areas
in Pakistan where children are beaten with a stick in schools. We
have grown up with all that beating in the schools but even I know
that torturing children isnt right, whether its physical or mental. It
makes the upcoming life difficult for a child.
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Eman went to sit with my mother. I had let such an amazing girl
slip through my fingers.
Brother Razi, did you get a beating in the school again? Irum
couldnt keep her mouth shut when she looked at my red cheek.
You should have finished your homework. Look how badly the
teacher hit you. Your whole cheek has become red. Mom caressed
my cheeks.
She was a mother and that was the reason why my red cheeks
saddened her. I looked at Eman from the corner of my eyes. She
was lost in her own world, making crisscross lines on the floor.
Her face still displayed signs of anger.
Razi, wont you eat onions with it? Eman, pass the plate of onions
to Razi. Mom asked me before addressing Eman. The plate of
onions lay near her.
Yes aunty. She looked at mom and then passed me the plate. But
my gaze was stuck on her hand and not on the plate. No doubt that
she was sold in 30k rupees.
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Barter of people is illegal according to the Pakistani law, so people
found a way around in the form of marriage. Eman had that red
color of marriage on her hands. I looked at her hands that were
adorned with Henna. The devil once again came to whisper in my
ears. My heart told me to try once again to not accept defeat
to be a man. And I became a man.
She faced torture every night on the bed of her old husband. She
came to our home in search of comfort but a wolf was here for her
as well. That delicate girl fought two battles at once. She was an
innocent girl in that patriarchal society who was gloomy over a
broken plate.
Mom, I am the one who broke the plate. I took the plate from
Emans hand.
For the first time in my life I took the blame upon myself. Eman
looked at me weakly. Her eyes were too heavy. It looked like the
sorrows of this whole world had taken residence in her eyes. She
was a courageous little girl. When God gives pain, He gives the
ability to endure it as well. If she had cried and let her tears spill,
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perhaps the whole world would have drowned in them. But she
endured silently. She swallowed all her tears in depths where they
couldnt be found.
Its true that we shouldnt be sad over broken things but it was her
heart that was broken. Her soul had injured. I still looked at her
with a sly smile on my face. I still formed new plans in my head.
My brain was thinking of unusual ways. She had to break one day.
A ten years old wife of an aged man she had to fall into
someones arms once she was broken, so why shouldnt I try? I
was also alone. I also needed a girl.
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or not. Even English movies came from India after being dubbed in
Hindi.
Eman and Irum went inside the room to watch a movie. I couldn't
watch the movie with them. So I lay down on a cot under the shade
of a neem tree in the yard and tried to get some sleep.
If predators start feeling the pain of their prey then they will no
longer be called predators. I had to be the bad guy. I knew that
Eman would have no choice but to befriend me if I kept going after
her for a few more days.
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would easily grab it once it fell down. All the fight would leave it
at that moment.
I also wanted to make Eman fly. I wanted to exhaust her, and wait
for the time when she got tired enough to be deprived of her will to
fight back. I kept thinking about Eman then fell into sleep under
the tree, and because I had gotten a beating from school, mom
didn't try to wake me up. I kept sleeping till the evening.
"Razi son, take Eman back to her home." Dad said to me after
Irum had given the packed meal to Eman.
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"Yes dad." I got up. It was another chance for me to get benefit
from the darkness of night.
"Yes sister, I will go with sister Eman today." Amir beamed with
joy so I just sat down.
Things lose their charm if they are given too easily. God has
strange ways. If I had gotten Eman easily, our story would have
ended right there. I would have stayed with Eman for five to six
months, before leaving this girl made of beauty of innocence. She
would have held no more appeal to me than that of a black and
white picture. Eman would have lost all the attraction I felt for her
and I would have begin searching for a new flower, just like my
friend Waheed. He had also left a girl in the past and now he was
with another one. In a few upcoming days, he left that new girl as
well. And Eman would still have been waiting for that prince who
would save her from that monster across the street, after getting
deceived by me.
Love isn't easy to conquer. God had the love of Eman written in
my fate. A true love that is far above anything the world could
offer. The one, who suffers the most in this world, is the closest to
God. Eman had suffered and I was the prince that she had prayed
for to cross the street. She was a generous person. She forgave all
my mistakes.
"Let's go sister." Amir held her hand and walked out. My day was
wasted. Eman went to her house and I became a little sad.
Eman made the breakfast for us the next day but her anger was still
there. After coming back from school in the afternoon, I sat with
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Irum and began to find excuses to talk to Eman, but she kept
ignoring me. She would give a simple answer to my questions
before diverting her attention back to Irum. They kept talking to
each other about school, work, home and I stared at them like a
fool.
I had that one rupee for the sake of Amir. I knew that he would go
to eat ice cream if I gave him that rupee and Eman would be left
alone in the street. I had decided to force Eman that day. Because I
knew that no matter how brave a girl is, she would never make a
noise if you grasp her hand at night. Girls are scared of
denigration. I tried to grow some courage. It had been half an hour
of me waiting in the street when the door to our house opened and
Amir stepped out with Eman.
Brother Razi, why are you standing here? The street was
completely vacant. Eman got scared when she saw me outside.
Buddy it was hot in the house so I came out to get some fresh air.
Here take a rupee and go eat ice cream, I will take Eman to her
house. I placed the rupee on his hand.
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Okay brother, I will go to the shop but first I have to take sister
Eman home. He took the rupee.
No, you can leave. I will take your sister Eman. I said with slight
anger.
Amir, you can go to the shop. I will go with him. She avoided
saying my name.
As you wish, sister. Amir left us there and ran towards the shop.
She silently turned and stood in front of me. Her wrist was still in
my hand which she didnt try to snatch away at all.
I looked at her face quietly afterwards. It was the same face that
was in my approach yesterday, which I had held in my hands. My
fingers had traced every single feature of this face. Today it felt so
far away. Her pink lips were in front of me but I couldnt touch
them. I had lost my right on them because of my greed.
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Please Eman! Be friends with me. I said miserably. My head
bent with remorse. I couldnt face those eyes.
Razi, I had made you my friend the first day we met. You have
been my friend since then, but it looks I chose the wrong guy for
friendship. Yes Razi, you are not the right guy. You are a very bad
guy but trust me, Im not a bad girl. Im not that kind of a girl. I
dont think I will be able to fulfill your wishes. Please, Razi! Her
wrist slipped from my hand. We stood in front of each other in
front of Emans home, in the darkness of night.
The same ivory face, the green eyes that had plagued me in those
past days were flooded with tears.
That innocent, green eyed girl shed tears in front of me. A person
cries when pain breaks him. That girl also cried.
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Kudus to you Rizwan Ali! You made a little angel cry. I had done
many bad things in my life but I had never hurt anyone before. It
was the first time that I had hurt a girl. I had submerged so deep in
my own desires that this girl had to beg to me for her honor. All
she wanted was to live.
My brain and eyes were filled with lust few minutes ago, but now
those emotions were replaced by guilt and remorse. I had woken
up from that nightmare; I had made an unforgivable blunder.
Eman I didnt know that you would be so hurt because of me. But
I promise you today, I will never ever tease you again. I choked
on my words.
Nano, you have a rock in place of your heart. You never cry.
Eman, forgive me. I released her hands. She moved forward and
hugged me. Both of us cried in that street in each others embrace.
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understand. Grow up fast buddy! Grow up while your princess is
still alive.
She cried relentlessly. My shirt was wet with her tears. I held her
to my chest and patted her back to comfort her.
No Razi, you are so good. If there was any other boy in your
place, he would also have done the same and he would never
understand my feelings. You are good enough to understand my
feelings. I am lucky to have a friend like you. She warmly stroked
my hair and returned to her regular mood.
Yes mate. You are my best friend now. She still played with my
hair.
I gazed over her, from head to toe, for a moment. I got slapped
once for touching her chest. I was dying for it till yesterday but
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today when she, on her own, was standing in front of me, I had no
interest in her chest.
Oh! So it means that we are bad but not so bad. I said with
annoyance and she smiled. The atmosphere had lifted suddenly.
Okay mate, I have to leave now. Its been late. Aslam must be
waiting inside. She placed a hand on the door.
Our friendship stayed like this for the next two years. I was
promoted to high school from the middle school. Eman had grown
to be a twelve years old and I became a fourteen years old young
boy. Both of us had grown up. Eman had become even more
beautiful.
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two years worth of friendship, so she acted as if she was oblivious
to everything.
Some thieves were active in our village those days. After a few
homes were robed, the people of village decided to guard it
together. Every day, five people from different houses would do
the guard duty. There were a total of 400 houses in our village. So
each person had to guard once in three months. Those people
guarded the village the whole night. That was how the thefts were
controlled.
Son, you stay with Eman. Come back in the morning after Aslam
has returned. I took Eman to her home. Aslam was guarding that
day and both of us were alone in the house.
Eman, Come here to me. Lets sit together and talk. I said to
Eman who had lain down on the other cot.
Mate, Eman! Just come here. You can go to sleep after ten
minutes. I called her again but she didnt answer. She silently lay
on her cot.
Eman, alright if you dont want to come, I will come to your cot.
I got up from my cot and sat on hers.
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Eman, whats the matter? Why wont you talk to me? I placed
her head in my lap and slipped my fingers though her hair. She
swiftly slapped my hand away and stood up from the cot.
She kept laid in my lap, with eyes closed and silent. While playing
with her hair, I slowly moved to her face and started caressing her
cheeks with love. Playing with her hair with one hand, I rubbed her
face and neck with the other. Now my fingers were over rosy lips.
I remembered the time, two years ago. At that time the beginning
was also from the face and then I moved to breasts. My todays
intentions were also to go far, all the way from the breasts. At that
time she stopped me with a slap but today she was not in that
position. Today she was willing to save the friendship. The strong
friendship lasting for two years was going to end in a moment.
While rubbing her face I placed my hand over her breasts and kept
on squeezing it. For a moment Eman was terrified and she stared at
me with anger.
Razi! Please leave me!! I cant do this. There was fire in her
pleading eyes.
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No, I will not leave. I became obstinate.
Listen, if you dont leave my house now, I will shout and gather
the whole village here. She became the same Eman from two
years ago.
I knew that I would never be able to catch Eman if I left that house.
I wanted Eman in any circumstance and I wasnt going to leave
before having everything decided.
You are still the same Rizwan! My friendship worth of two years
couldnt change you. I dont understand how you can be so
stubborn. Do you have a rock in place of your heart? Nothing
affects you What do you get by playing with someones
feelings?
She yelled at full volume. Her voice could be heard outside the
room. I was scared. If she had kept talking loudly, someone would
have gotten up and come to the house.
Eman, Wait a minute listen to me. I held her arms and shook
her but nothing affected her.
Get lost from my house! I dont want to see your face! Dont you
dare cross my path again! She was going mad with rage.
Get out you pervert! You are not worth my friendship. You can
only think of women in a single way. She picked up the jug from
beneath the cot and threw it towards me.
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I had put on one shoe. I picked up the other and ran out of her
house. I wore the other shoe in the street and went back to my
home in silence.
I had lost Eman again that day. I had made a mistake again. I was a
son of Adam and the Satan had managed to get me out of the
heaven named Eman. I made mistake over mistake. The monster
inside me came out again and again. I had become the thief of her
innocence and virtue.
The friendship had come to an end. I had made her hate me before
but it hurt more today. I had become accustomed to her in the past
two years. I couldnt get any sleep that night.
They say that sleep can consume a person even on a bed of thorns,
but you cant go to sleep when your heart is broken. Both mine and
Emans hearts were broken. Both of us fought sleep that night in
our homes. Both of us cried. Again, I was the one who did wrong.
Eman, Forgive me. I kept asking for her forgiveness the whole
night in my heart.
Eman was younger than me but she had become brave after
bearing all the hurt that people threw her way. She endured this
mountain of pain as well but I was weak. I lost after fighting the
whole night. I seared with fever by that morning. My whole body
hurt and my brain constantly tried to seek solace in
unconsciousness. But I didnt want to fall unconscious. I had to
bear that pain while staying conscious and thats what I did.
Irum got scared when she came to wake me up in the morning and
saw my condition. The fever had broken me. The whole family
gathered around me in no time.
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God forbid! He is has a bad fever he is so warm that I cant
even touch his forehead. Dad said while placing a hand on my
forehead.
Tariq, son, go and get the donkey cart from the camp. Lets take
him to the doctor.
The hospital was almost 100meters away from our village, in the
city of Bahawalpur. But there was a small private clinic two
kilometers away from the village where a poor doctor sold the
medicines for headache or fever at cheap rates.
Hurry, son Tariq, get the donkey cart. Razis fever has risen up.
Dad said to brother Tariq so he turned to leave but I caught his
wrist.
I knew that the doctor didnt have any cure for my illness. Dads
money would have gone to waste and he would have had to face
loss at the camp because of taking a leave.
Are you sure son? If you dont feel well, I will take you to the
doctor. Dad placed his hand on my forehead again.
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Amir, son you go and get your sister Eman. She wont come by
herself today because Aslam is home. You tell her that I asked her
to come. Tell her that Razi is ill, and thats why I have called her.
She can place cloths soaked in cold water on his forehead for a few
hours and go back after Razi feels better. Amir ran out and came
back with Eman a few minutes later.
Her hand was cold like ice, chilling the depths of my soul. I felt
better, so I opened my eyes to look at her face. She looked back at
me.
Her eyes were red after crying the whole night. The light green
color of her eyes had been disappeared and red had replaced it. She
must have stayed awake the whole night as well. She sat in front of
me after being wounded by me. I couldnt bear the fact that I had
hurt her while she had endured all the hurt I put her through. I
dont know if God has granted all women with this strength, or if
He simply made Eman stronger.
Today we have a lot of work in the camp so your aunt will have
to go with me. You can go back to you home after a few hours. I
will send you aunt back by then.
No uncle, you dont have to worry. Aslam just left for the city
he will be back by tonight. Im here with Razi till tonight. You can
finish your work at ease. She called me Razi.
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Her anger had dissipated when she saw me scorching in fever. That
was how Eman was like; she forgave all my mistakes every time,
everywhere.
Alright daughter, you can have your meal and feed some to Razi
as well. Mom caressed my face.
I and Eman were left alone in the house. Eman brought some ice
and cloth strips for me from the other room. She placed a small
wooden table by my side and put the bowl of ice on it. She sat with
me on the cot and placed a cloth soaked in icy water on my
forehead.
I dont know if it was the cool ice or Eman sitting beside me which
soothed me. She kept replacing the cloth on my forehead for ten
minutes. My fever was gone. She worked in silence. A storm had
passed us the previous night, but it still lingered in Emans heart.
That tender girl hid a lot of storms inside her.
Eman, Im fine now. You can stop. I told Eman so she stopped.
She removed her scarf from her head and patted my forehead with
it.
Can you try to sit up? I will get you some food. She said in a
shivering voice.
Yeah, I do feel a little hungry. When I tried to get up, she placed
a hand behind my head and held my wrist with the other to help me
up.
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You sit here. I will get the food for you. She sat me up and went
out to get the food.
Let me feed you today, Razi. She said while looking at me.
There was something in those green eyes that I couldnt look into
them for long. I lowered my gaze.
Let me feed you, Razi. She raised the bite towards my mouth
again and I silently complied this time.
She kept feeding me little bites of food and I kept eating. She
didnt say a word. My heart screamed for her to say something,
even if it meant bashing on me. At least it would have lightened
her heart, but she didnt try to talk at all. She could have died if she
kept enduring everything silently.
You could eat some more. She said normally. Her hand was in
mine which she didnt try to take away.
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Eman My voice became heavy with the tears I swallowed. I
couldnt speak anymore.
Okay then, I will take the food back. I left her hand when she
stood up.
Yes, tell me if you want something and I will get it. She turned
her head to look at me and I silently shook my head.
She went out to wash the pots. After that, she cut the vegetables for
dinner so she would easily make the dinner with mom once she
arrived. She came back with a glass of milk after a while.
Razi, drink some milk! Look how weak you have become in one
night of illness. She handed me the glass.
I took the glass from her hand and placed in on the table beside my
bed. She stood by the head of my cot.
Eman, can you sit with me for a minute? She looked into my
eyes. She stared at me for a straight minute.
Eman I called her once again, so she took a deep breath and sat
beside me. Her hand was in mine. I began to caress it.
Eman, I am too ashamed to ask for your forgiveness but I will still
do so. Perhaps you will forgive me this time. Eman, I will never
cross the boundaries of friendship again. I have always respected
you with my heart and I know that sometimes I go astray but I also
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know that you have a generous heart. Maybe you still have a little
respect, a little trust for me left in your heart. Maybe our friendship
is still there. My eyes were wet and my hands were shaking.
Please Eman! Just forgive me this time. I left her hand and
looked at her with pleading eyes.
She uttered my name for the second time while slipping her fingers
through my hair but after that she was silent again. Perhaps she
was trying to gain some courage to speak further. The silence
stretched. She silently caressed my hair with her fingers.
Eman say something! Bash on me, call me names but just dont
stay silent like this. Please Eman! At least I couldnt finish my
sentence as I cried.
I will keep the front door open tonight. You can sneak into my
home half an hour after I leave. There is a hole in the door of our
room. You can see me and Aslam through that hole. If you
managed to do it tonight, I will do whatever you say from
tomorrow. I will allow you to mould this friendship of ours in
whatever way you like. Razi! I dont know about virtue and sin. If
I can sleep with a fifty years old who bought me and is called my
husband, then I shouldnt have any problem with sleeping with
you. If you managed to pass this night then I am ready to sleep
with you. She removed her hand from my hair and left the house.
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The same qawali O my moon played on tape recorder in the
voice of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan that cut into my heart to cleanse it.
Eman was long gone. The cassette had ended but in my mind
played that first glance of Eman that she had thrown my way when
I was standing on the roof.
Eman only came back to our house to make dinner after that. Amir
had gone to call her for lunch but she refused to come. Irum went
to her home with Amir. They stayed at Emans home the whole
day and took her back to our home at night.
"Razi, how do you feel now? The fever has dissipated right?" She
asked as if nothing had happened and I nodded.
"Yes daughter, Razi is fine now. Your help has cured him." Mom
patted her head affectionately.
"Aunty, can you give me the food for Aslam? He has returned
from the city. He will have to go to sleep after having dinner so he
can go to work early in the morning." Eman said to mom so she
started packing dinner for him.
"Come on Razi, take me home now." Eman said while taking the
packet from my mom.
"No Razi, it is the time. You have grown up now. I think it's the
right time to do it." She opened her arms and embraced me. Both
of us forgot the whole world in each others arms at that time of
the night. We were lost in each other. I don't know for how long
we stood like this.
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"Fine Eman, go to your home now. It will be a problem if someone
saw us in the street." I separated myself from her so she stepped
back.
"I will eat with Aslam in the yard. After that when we go to sleep
in our room, I will come back with the excuse of having to drink
water and open the door for you. You will wait for five minutes
before walking in. There is a hole in the door. You will just silently
look at us through that hole and after that you will leave in silence.
I will lock the door again at night. Can you do that?" She stroked
my cheeks.
"Yes Eman I can do that. Don't worry." I was scared on the inside
but I had to comfort Eman. I had to do this for Eman and I did it
for her.
It had been more than half an hour after Eman had walked inside.
She ate with Aslam and I stood outside, waiting for them to leave.
They went inside after they were done eating.
Eman came out with the excuse to drink water after a while. She
drank some water from the pitcher in the yard then came to the
front door and called me in a slow voice. When I whispered back,
she opened the door and walked inside. I waited quietly in the
street for a good ten minutes before I carefully opened the door and
entered the house. There was a small room made of bare bricks at
the end of the yard. Besides it there was a wooden roof with mud
on it, which stood there with the help of two pillars. It is called
Tara in Punjabi.
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Light bulb was shining inside. Its light made its way out through
the creaks in the door. I silently crossed the yard and peaked
through the hole in the door.
Eman was right, that night was apocalyptic. The room did have an
apocalypse inside it. I shouldn't have seen it. I shouldn't have been
there. But God had already written it in my fate. I peeked into that
apocalypse that took place in that room. Eman suffered that
apocalypse every night, but I couldn't bear it. This is the truth.
Aslam lay on his back on the cot. He didn't have his shirt on. He
wore a dirty dhoti. Eman sat beside his cot as she massaged his
legs.
"Why did you take so long in getting the food? Do you have any
idea of how long I have been waiting for you?" He said angrily
while stroking her back. Eman silently pressed on his feet.
"Can't you hear what I am saying? You keep wandering around the
whole day and now you have gone dumb?" He kicked Eman,
making her fall on the floor.
"Come here. Sit on the cot. Why did you stand up now?" His angry
voice could be heard outside.
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For a moment I wanted to run away. But I gathered some courage
and peeked inside again. Eman still stood away from the cot.
"Massage my legs." He hit her head hard with the slipper. She
screamed and cried.
"Press harder! Stop this crying act now. I get tired by working the
whole day and you can't even massage my legs properly?" He hit
her with the slipper again and Eman hurriedly pressed on his feet
while controlling her urge to scream again.
Eman kept massaging his feet for some minutes. Whenever her
hand lost its strength, she received a slap on her back, which made
her press harder.
Ok. Now leave it! Come here lay with me he pulled Eman from
her arm and laid her over himself.
Eman was lying on him he was forcefully crushing her in his arms.
Approximately more than a hundred kilogram mound of meat was
depluming a twelve years old girl with extreme brutality
Now remove your clothes! Remove all of your clothes! Come on!
Be quick! Your husband has to relax now
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No! No! I will not take of my clothes! I will not do it! Eman
started weeping bitterly. She wanted to run away but Aslamhad
held her the arm.
Aslam slapped her face hard. She was about to fall on ground but
he held her up and slapped her again before she could recover.
Eman fell on the floor then. Her hand left Aslam's. She shivered
while lying on the floor. Maybe she had cried too much that her
throat didn't support her anymore. I could only hear the sound of
her hiccups.
Why are you not taking off the clothes? He seethed in anger. He
grabbed Eman and made her stand in front of him.
"I bought you for 30 thousands from your father! I didn't give him
30 thousand so I could look at your face. Do you realize that 30
thousands is a huge amount? The people like you and me could
work their whole lives and not be able to collect 30 thousands. It
was the mercy of the villagers that they collected the money for
me." He started squeezing Emansbreasts with anger.
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"I want to go home. I don't want to do this. Just send me back
home." Eman still shivered.
"Send you home? Have you seen that knife in the kitchen? I will
cut your father's throat with it if you uttered those words again."
Aslam slapped her again.
Emans back was towards the door. I could see her bear back. I
could see a lot of wounds and scars on her white loin. Her entire
back was made red due to canning and spanking from Aslam.
Before this moment I had only seen one side of Aslamand now I
could see him turning into a monster.
I had only seen Aslam as his regular self before. That night I saw
him turning into a wolf.
Aslam took Eman to the cot. She cried and screamed but he had
turned into an animal. At 11pm that night, there was no sacred
relationship of husband and wife in the house of the lambardars,
but a devilish game was being played there. Eman yelled in pain
but her screams had no effect on him. That monster was busy in his
devilish task. Suddenly Eman shouted piercingly and looked at the
door with painful eyes.
She knew that I was watching everything from other side of the
door. Her eyes tried to tell me something. She had told me to
watch it all in silence. But the helplessness and misery in her gaze
made me lose my mind. The despair in those green eyes made me
forget everything.
I kicked the door of their room hard and cursed loudly on Aslam.
The fear of sneaking into someone's home at night suddenly
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disappeared. I was free of all my fears. All I could hear were
Emans screams.
"Open the door! She will die, you heinous man. Open the door and
let go of Eman or else I will break the door." I tried to break the
door. But that was a heavy wooden door that opened on the
outside. I couldn't break it no matter how hard I tried.
"Eman I'm here. Don't be scared. I will kill I will kill everyone."
I marched to and fro in the yard in my madness.
Aslam and Eman were dressed inside but he didn't dare open the
door. This was the same man who threatened Eman that he would
cut her father's throat. He felt like a lion while making a little girl
the target of his atrocity but my madness had turned him into a
sheep.
My family arrived after some time. When dad saw me cursing and
throwing different objects at the door, he ran to me and caught me.
"Let me go dad. Let me go! Eman! Eman will die in that room. He
is beating her. Leave me dad. I have to save Eman." I tried to get
out of my father's hold. When brother Tariq saw it, he moved
forward and both of them held me.
"Samina, hold him. I will have a look inside." Dad told mom so
mom and my other brothers held me.
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I was tired of trying by now but a little fight was still there in me.
Dad left me and knocked the door of Aslam's room.
"I am Riaz. Open the door." When dad called him after telling his
name, he came out with Eman.
"What happened? Why has the boy gone so mad?" Dad asked
Aslam once he came out.
"I don't know Mr. Chaudary. We were lying inside when suddenly
it happened. We had locked the door on the inside so he couldn't
come in and began to make a noise outside. Aslam felt brave
when he saw my dad.
"Let me go! I'm telling you to let me go! He was beating Eman I
will kill him today. Dad he is a wolf A wolf" I shouted with
all my power.
The whole family tried to hold me back. Dad still talked to him. I
breathed heavily with all the effort I put on. All three brothers and
mom held me.
Chaudary, control your son. He has gone mad. I dont know why
he is getting so angry and what the hell is he doing in our house?
He asked my father to get me in control. Dad didnt understand a
thing.
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It hasnt been long that I took Eman here then how did it all
happen so abruptly? Aslam, something must have happened. My
son is very sensitive, are you sure you werent hitting Eman?
Tell me daughter Eman, did he hit you? Dad held Eman to him.
She wasnt scared of my insanity. Perhaps she was the only one in
that house that wasnt scared at that time. Yes it was Eman
whose courage had increased. Perhaps the prince had finally
crossed the seven seas to save his princess.
He could fight his whole life against those fanatical customs of that
village in Cholistan and still not be able to rectify it. It was a
patriarchal society. Women were sold there and only death could
release a sold woman.
Let me go! Let me go! I screamed loudly and pressed his throat
hard.
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Leave him you brute! He will die.
Riaz! Save Amir from him! He will kill him. When mom saw
Amirs body becoming lifeless, she began slapping me hard on the
face.
Dad, Eman wont die, right? He wont kill her, will he? I was
slowly getting my senses back.
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stay happy Aslam, or if she faced any difficulties, then trust me
you dont know what Im capable of. I will make your life a living
hell. I have called her my daughter. Im only supporting you and
your house because of Eman and if I came to know that you hit
her, I will forget everything. God has blessed me with four sons.
My whole family lives in the village, but youre alone. For how
long could you fight Aslam? Your fight will leave you one day, so
dont be cruel. The real lion is the one who is a lion outside his
home, inside their home even sheep feel like lions. So dont try to
be a lion in your house. Make Emans and your own life easier so
you can live in peace. Dad had placed a hand on Aslams
shoulder and looked daringly into his eyes. His speech was
reassuring to both me and Eman.
We all sat on the cots in a room when dad tried to get Eman to spill
something but she just laughed it off.
Emans liveliness had returned once she stepped foot in our house
and she began to joke with me. I silently sat on the couch and
looked down. All my insanity had vanished.
Yes sister Eman, he must have gone mad. If dad hadnt saved me
today, I would have been having tea with the houries of heaven by
this time. Amir said while swinging in Emans arms and everyone
laughed.
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Oh you can meet the houries in heaven but first you will have to
get rid of the houri in front of you. She threw him on the cot and
began kissing his face.
She tickled him and rubbed her chin on his face in between the
kisses. She left him after he had laughed hard for a while. Amir ran
to the other cot the moment her hold loosened on him. His cheeks
were red with Emans kisses.
Houri? You are witch who sucks the blood out of little children.
Amir made a face at her and ran to hide behind me. When I tried to
turn around to look at him he ran again to my mother.
We kept joking around and then Eman slept with Irum on her cot
and all of us went to sleep on our own cots.
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Although we were much poor compared to the lambardars but my
father was no ones servant. He cultivated on his own land. The
lambardars had a land of 200 acres and ten to twelve servants who
worked for them. My father used to visit their home often because
he was friends with them since his childhood.
Eman tried to sit with Aslam on the floor but dad made her sit with
him instead.
So, brother Riaz, now tell me what happened in the night? The
lambardar asked my dad again and he told him everything.
Eman, did Aslam beat you at night? The lambardar asked Eman
after listening to the whole story by my dad and she nodded.
Daughter, why did you lie when I had asked you at night? Dad
was astonished.
He had been trying to resolve the issue the whole night but now he
had come to know what really happened.
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Listen Aslam, now Riaz has come with Eman to complain about
you. Eman is your wife. Its true that its your family matter but
dont forget that she is still a child. Dont hit her. It wont be good
for you if you hit her again. Now say sorry to Eman. She is a child,
treat her with care. The lambardar said, finishing the whole
matter. Aslam apologized to her.
Eman, you can forgive him. He will not do such a thing again.
The lambardar told Eman when he saw Aslam asking for
forgiveness. Eman nodded and the whole matter ended there.
Come on Aslam, you should go to the fields now. Its been late
already. Riaz also has to go to work. Eman will go to Riazs home
right? You can take her back at night after work and dont make
her complain again. The lambardar stood up and everyone stood
with him.
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No Mr. Chaudary, please forgive me! I will never raise my hand
on Eman again.
Okay buddy, I trust you. Dad shook hands with the lambardar
and came home with Eman.
Irum and Amir had gone to school. Both of my elder brothers had
finished school already. The college was in Yezman, almost 50km
away from our village and my father couldnt afford the travel
expenses. So brother Tariq joined dad in his camp while my other
brother joined an electricians shop to learn from him. The shop
owner used to give him around 500pkr monthly.
Razi, you didnt go to school? Dad asked when he saw that I was
still at home.
Alright, you can stay at home with Eman. Samina, are you
coming with me to the camp? Dad asked mom and she nodded.
Mom went to the camp with my brother and dad.
Only I and Eman were left in the house. I was mad on Eman. She
had lied at night. The whole night my family kept scolding me. I
listened to it all the whole night but she didnt try to stop them at
all. She knew everything and yet she kept silent. I got up from
beside the stove and went to sit on my cot in the room.
Razi, are you angry with me? Eman followed me into the room.
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No, I dont have a reason to be angry. I should be really happy
because I got scolded the whole night and you didnt stop them at
all. Why? I tossed her hand away. She was sitting on my cot and
trying to hold my hand.
He was the one who was going to kill you. Was it good that he
beat you? Were you happy with it? I changed my side and lain
with my face turned away from her.
She placed her hands on back of my head and lifted it slightly and
started coloring my cheeks, forehead and lips from her lipstick she
wore. For next several minutes she kept me kissing on my face and
neck. She spread all of her lipstick from her lips over my face.
As I regained some sense, I grabbed her from her arms and threw
her down and got myself laid over her. This time I was kissing her.
Her eyes,lips,cheeks and neck, I was kissing her all over the place.
My hands were hovering all over breasts. I went below her face
and neck.
She was lying straight, on the bed, in front of me. As I lifted her
shirt over the view of her scar less white belly was a delight to my
sight. I placed both my hands over her breasts and squeezed them,
placed my lips over her bare belly. As there came out a sight out of
her mouth, so I lifted my gaze and started seeing her face.
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Her eyes were closed but she was shivering a little bit. She tried
very hard to hold her tears but still they came out of her closed
eyes and ran over cheeks. Perhaps she was crying.
Eman I slowly called her but she kept lying with her eyes
closed.
Eman I called her again which made her open her eyes and look
at me.
What happened, Razi? Why did you stop? You wanted it, didnt
you? Today I am in front of you. Eman is in your approach today,
then why stop Razi? I looked at her in silence. She looked more
beautiful than the houries of heaven. The stars of this whole
universe shone in her green eyes.
Eman, have you ever been in love? I covered her bare belly with
shirt and started moving my fingers through her hair.
Love doesnt see age, Eman. It can happen to anyone at any time.
Maybe even you fell in love with someone? I caressed her cheeks.
There was cot under the neem tree in the yard. I went to sit on it. I
felt a strange ache in my heart. I couldnt find comfort anywhere. I
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sat on the cot for a while but couldnt find any solace. My chest
burned. It felt like something was cutting me from the inside. I got
up from the cot and went to the roof. The sun had raised and its
heat had increased. I walked to and fro on the roof. My heart
couldnt find any peace no matter what I did.
Razi, come down, its too hot up there. You will get sick this
way. Eman called me from downstairs.
Razi, dont do it mate. You can get sick. She came to sit beside
me.
Eman, dont you miss your parents? She was putting pieces of
wood in the stove to spark the fire.
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Yes, Eman, I fell in love. Maybe its the ache of love thats
burning my chest. Tears slipped down from my eyes.
The tea was ready. She poured it out in two cups and we sipped it.
I kept looking at her face but she was busy in sipping her tea with
her eyes downcast.
Just wait a bit. Let me make the flatbread and then we can take it
to the camp. It will make uncle and aunty happy. Eman told me
and quickly made the flatbreads.
When she was done, I took some pickle and packed it with the
flatbreads then I went towards the camp with Eman.
Dad, I brought the meal. You eat and I will soften the soil for
you. I took the tool from my dad and got to work.
Leave it son, its gotten too hot. We do this every day for a few
hours; the field will be ready in a week. You leave it. We will go
home after having the meal and we will finish it up tomorrow.
Dad tried to stop me.
No dad, you can go and eat. I just want to help you a little. Dad
left when he saw me working.
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He washed his hands with the help of a tap and then sat under the
rosewood tree to eat. I stopped feeling the heat of summer once I
began working. That field was bigger than one acre.
No dad, you guys can leave. I will work for a few more hours and
then come back on my own. You can leave. Irum and Amir must
have been back from school by now. Dad used to let us brothers
work a little in the fields.
Alright son, dont work for more than half an hour. We are
leaving here.
Uncle, you guys can leave. I came here with Razi and I will go
back with him. Eman refused so my father, mother and brother
Tariq left.
Eman, why did you sit in the sunlight? Go to the camp You can
sit in the shade of trees there. I said when I saw her sitting in the
sunlight.
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you have the whole field to show your love. Lets see how big a
lover you are. Eman said sarcastically. She still didnt believe me
completely.
Iron turns to pure gold when its exposed to fire in a furnace. The
past night had turned me into gold but it wasnt the fire of furnace
that did the task, it was the fire in that room. The little fire of
furnace couldnt affect me anymore. I picked up the tool and got
back to work.
Dad came to milk the animals when sun was about to set. He ran to
me when he saw that I was still working.
Buddy, you have dug the whole field. Hasnt the madness from
last night left you yet? He tried to take the tool from my hand but
I stopped him.
Only a few plants are left dad. You milk the animals; I will finish
it up quickly.
Eman and dad kept milking the animals. I left them like that and
came home. Dad and Eman also returned after an hour. We ate the
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dinner together. After that, dad took Eman to Aslams home. I
followed them behind.
Aslam was there in the house. He got scared when he saw me. My
anger rose again. My blood boiled when I looked at him. Somehow
Eman understood. She stepped back from my father and began to
walk beside me. Before I could do something in my rage, she held
my hand. My anger suddenly reduced. She held my hand for just a
moment before stepping forward and walking with my father. She
held my dads big hands with her little ones.
I looked at Emans face and saw the silence of an ocean there. For
the first time, I saw a ring of light around her face.
Wow Rizwan Ali Ghumman, where has your heart been stuck? It
was too early to fall in love. You werent old enough to cross this
river of love still you jumped in it? Lets hope you find its bank
some day.
One night when Aslam came to get Eman, dad brought him inside.
Mom made tea for him. When the tea was ready, we all sat on our
cots and sipped it.
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Listen Aslam, Eman looks happy now. I know that you take care
of her now. I am older than you and she is like my daughter. I will
give you an advice as an elder.
We afford all your food. You dont smoke. All of your pay must
be saved. I think you should look for a house outside this village. If
you keep saving the money, you will be able to buy a house in four
to five years. Try to save the money! You have spent your whole
life as a slave. Dont force the same fate upon Eman and her
children Try to get out of it.
Dad, are you taking those two acres on rent? I asked curiously.
Samina, our son has become too silent. He has grown so serious
ever since that night happened. He doesnt crack jokes anymore
and even keeps a distance from Eman. I had fallen asleep
oblivious of their talk.
It was a holiday the next day so Eman came to our house early in
the morning.
Son, you should go out. You stay at house all the time. Your
consistent sadness is affecting the atmosphere of the whole house.
Look at your siblings! We used to be so happy Your
mischievous nature kept everyone happy. Now see! This house
feels like a graveyard. Come back son! If you dont care about
yourself, at least care about us. Be happy buddy. Dad tried to
make me understand.
Really, all of us will leave this house if you started your dance.
Who could bear such a bad dance? Eman winked at me.
Why will they leave? Why dont you leave? You stay in our
house all the time. The whole atmosphere of our house has been
ruined because of you. What she said had angered me.
Rizwan, What the hell are you talking about? She is a part of our
family. Dad said while looking at Eman who looked down.
Now say sorry to Eman! You have hurt her by saying that. Dad
said angrily so I dropped the flatbread in my hand on my plate and
stood up.
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Why? Dad, why me? Why am I the only one to apologize every
time? I always have to apologize no matter if I am guilty or not. I
replied crossly and climbed the stairs to go to the roof.
Daughter, you dont have to! Irum will get him back. He listens to
her. Dad stopped Eman but she came to the roof with Irum
anyway.
Brother, now you have come to stand here! Come on, lets go
downstairs. You shouldnt get angry like that. See all of us care for
you. Others wont eat if you dont eat. Irum held my hand.
Irum, you guys can have your breakfast. I really dont want to
eat. I took my hand out of her hold.
I didnt want to eat. Eman was in my mind all the time. I was in
love with her. I would think about her throughout the day. My
tranquility and peace was destroyed. I spend my days in confusion
while Eman looked completely content in front of me. She didnt
love me. She didnt love anyone and that fact was making me
insane. I was breaking in front of her as she silently watched the
show.
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Am I resting now? I have been dying this past month. Did you
ever see me smile? After destroying my whole life you say that I
am resting in the sunlight? You know everything, dont you?
Irum, you keep quite. You dont know anything. I made her
silent.
Eman, why dont you speak now? Can you see my face? I havent
even washed it properly in the past month. I dont care if I eat or
not. I have been trying to live just by looking at your beautiful face
but I think you cant tolerate even that. Do one thing, Push me
down this roof. You will get rid of me once I die and my life will
also become easier. My parents have three more sons and a
daughter. They will get over me in a few days.
Irum, I have told you to stay there. Its between me and Eman.
Let this issue be resolved today. I am tired now. I will find the
bank of this sea or I will drown.
Say something Eman. You are not a little child. You know
everything but still you act as if you are clueless. You know that I
am in love with you right? I caught her collar and made her stand
in front of me. Both of us stood at the corner of roof.
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Yes, I know that you are in love with me. You have been
suffering because of your love for me but its not my fault. I am
not in love with you. I am a married slave. I cant even breathe
without someones permission and you talk about love! Such
things are meant for independent individuals Mr. Rizwan. You are
independent, so you can fall in love. Slaves dont have any love
written in their fate. The only thing written about them is that they
will be sold, and I have been sold in 30k. She talked while
looking at me.
Eman, you know me. Just say once that you love me! I will
surpass everyone who crossed our ways. Just admit your love for
me once. I left her collar and held both of her shoulders.
No, Razi, giving your life for someone isnt easy. People talk like
that but nobody gives their life for anyone in this world. Razi, you
are not strong enough yet. Dont disrespect love by talking about
giving your life for it. Everyone is self-obsessed here. She
removed my hands from her shoulders and stroked my cheeks
fondly.
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I heard Irums screams. My head hit a brick on ground as my mind
submerged into darkness. Maybe I had given up on my life for
Eman. The last emotion I felt was concern for Eman.
Oh Allah, dont let her get hurt. Transfer all of her suffering and
pain to my fate today.
It was my concern for her that didnt let me stay unconscious for
long. My head bled because of being hit with a brick. I could feel
severe pain in the back of my head. Eman had fallen on my chest
before slipping to the other side.
I hastily shook her. She lay beside me. My head continuously bled
which had reddened both of our clothes.
Perhaps God pitied me. Eman took a long breath and began to
cough. We had fallen into the street from the roof. The whole
family gathered around us quickly. I lay back down with
satisfaction when I saw her coughing. I felt weakness because of
the blood loss.
His hand touched the back of my head which had a 3 inches long
hole. My head continuously bled from there.
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Oh my God, He has a big cut in his head. Amir, quickly get a
cloth. I will tie his head with it. It is bleeding a lot. Razi Razi!
Stay conscious buddy! I wont let anything to happen to you. Dad
had me in his lap as he inspected me for other injuries.
Eman had also fallen with me. So many villagers had gathered
around us. Dad had another man hold me as he went to see Eman.
Her dress was red from my blood.
When Amir came back with a cloth, dad took it and tied it tightly
around my head. It didnt stop the blood flow but it did help in
slowing it down.
Dad, she Eman is Eman alright? Take her along with us. She
is also hurt. I was still worried for Eman.
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Son, she is fine. Have some courage. Does it still hurt? I felt pain
when dad asked me about it. Little whimpers left my mouth.
Daughter Eman, come up here. Razi will feel better if you stay
with him. Dad offered her a hand; she took it and climbed on the
trolley.
Razi, just bear a little more We are about to reach the hospital.
You will be fine Nothing will happen to you Razi. Everything
will be alright. I will pray for you Just tolerate the pain for a
little while You will be fine. Eman held my hands in hers and
cried.
Razi, does it still hurt? She asked when she saw that I was silent.
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Eman, am I still not strong enough? Do I still not know how to
love? Eman, I have learnt to die for someone. I looked at Eman.
Dad stood on the other side of the cot. Before Eman could answer
me, he caught up on gravity of the situation. He understood the
matter a bit because of what I had said. He had a doubt that we
didnt fall by accident but it was something else. Because there
were many other people on trolley that took us to the hospital, dad
said to me;
Rizwan son, you shouldnt talk. Just stay quite. Your head moves
when you talk and it causes the bleeding to increase. He
interrupted me.
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Eman, go to the other end of the cot and hold Rizwans feet. I can
hold him from here. He will get lesser blows this way. Dad took
Emans place after sending her away.
The next time I woke up, I was on a bed in the hospital. The doctor
had stitched and bandaged my head. Maybe they had kept me
unconscious with the help of chloroform to do the stitches. That
was why I stayed unconscious for about 12 hours. It was getting
dark when I woke up.
Mom, where is Eman? Is she okay? She didnt get hurt, right? I
looked around the moment I gained my senses back. Everyone was
there at hospital at that time except Eman. Irum sat on a chair
beside my bed and sliced some apples. Mom mumbled a prayer.
She went inside to say a thankful prayer when she saw me opening
my eyes.
Irum, where is Eman? I cant see her. Irum passed me the plate
of sliced apples and I just placed on my bed.
Irum had seen me and Eman falling from the roof. She had
understood everything. She had learnt that I loved her friend Eman.
She loved both I and Eman. I had kept her oblivious of everything
and that made her angry.
I have sent Eman back home. She will not come back here. Dad
answered my question.
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Alright dad, when will we go home? My head is fine now. I
slipped on my foot from the roof. When Eman came to save me,
she fell as well. I was desperate to meet Eman, for whom I had
jumped from the roof. I had become a superman for her but what
was benefit of it if she still wasnt around?
No, son Rizwan, you have gotten ten stitches in your head. The
wound is still fresh which is why we will stay here tonight. We
will go home tomorrow if the doctor allows it. Dad was broken on
the inside because of my condition.
He was also scared for our future. He had felt doubts in the trolley
and because Irum was there on the roof with us, he had asked her
about everything later on.
Son Razi, Dad sat on the bed beside me and took my hand in his.
Son Razi, the path that you are following, the path that you are
walking on holds nothing but pain and denigration. Son, you have
a family. You have siblings, your parents She is a married girl.
Your love will destroy the whole family. You are too young son
you wont understand it yet.
It is not a movie where you can fight and get the girl in the end. It
will not happen here. The people of this village will never let you
two to be together. She is a wife who was bought for 30k. The
villagers will kill both of you and I will get killed while trying to
save you. Son! Our society doesnt accept love. I and your brothers
will be killed for this forbidden love. Come back son! Love isnt
meant for us poor people. He tried to clean the invisible dirt on
my clothes.
Razi, I am your father. I will not be able to see you die. He stood
up.
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Samina, I will go see the doctor. He went out to hide the tears in
his eyes.
I understood what dad had told me. We came home the next day
after spending a night in the hospital. We hadnt cooked anything
in our home for the past two days. The lambardars sent us the food
in those days. They had sent a servant to our camp as well who fed
the animals in the absence of my father. Amir and Irum hadnt
gone to school in those days. Mom lit the stove the minute we
reached home and placed the teapot on it. I was a little weak
because of my injury but I could walk by myself. Dad helped me
sit on a cot in the yard.
Dad, I will go and get sister Eman here. I will tell her that brother
Razi is back from hospital. Amir was about to leave but dad
stopped him.
No Amir, nobody will call Eman. Eman will not step foot in this
house again. If you want to meet her, you can go to her home but
she will not come here. I will go and prohibit her myself. And yes,
another thing Razi if I came to know that you met Eman or have
tried to meet her then people wont have to beat you because I will
break your legs with my own hands. The four men of this house
can feed a single man his whole life without needing him to work.
He said furiously before opening the door and walking out.
Eman had heard the sound of tractor and she was coming towards
our home. Dad stopped her in the middle of street and took her
back to her house.
Daughter Eman, its been more than two years since you came to
this village. He made Eman sit on a cot and sat in front of her.
Daughter, you have been visiting our home for years. I have
always thought of you as my own daughter. Have I ever treated
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you and Irum differently? Dad asked Eman and she shook her
head.
Yes uncle, I know that Razi loves me. He jumped from the roof
for me. Eman told him the truth.
Daughter, you are a married girl. How will you fight this society
if you love Razi? I know that your love will destroy both of our
families. Dad held both of her hands and explained to her.
Uncle, love can make its way. Eman tried to convince my father.
No, daughter, love never makes a way in fact it destroys all the
ways. I am a feeble and helpless father. I cannot fight these
villagers and that is why I have come to beg to you. I have called
you my daughter for more than two years. Please respect those
words. Dont let me return empty-handed today. Dad got up from
the cot and sat near her feet.
Uncle, what are you doing? You are just like my father. I will do
whatever you say but please dont do this. Eman quickly stood
up. She held my dads hand, made him sit on the cot and sat near
his feet herself.
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Daughter, I have no other choice. Dad patted her head.
Uncle, say what you want to say. Eman bent her head.
Daughter, you will not come to our home again and you will
never meet Razi. Eman hesitated for a second when dad said it.
Okay uncle, I will neither come to your house nor will I meet
Razi again. she answered my dad then got up from his feet and
walked inside her room. Dad came back home.
Son Razi, take some floor from the basket and give it to the
beggar. God listens to the prayers of those vagrants. Mom called
me from inside the room so I took some floor and opened the door
to greet the beggar.
Son, love isnt as weak as you think Love is hard. Love means
decaying ones soul and its only given to those who are
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auspicious. He stepped back, turned and walked towards another
home.
My eyes had longed for her for a week. God had sent that beggar
as a catalyst for our meeting. I heard a slight sound of the door
being opened. Eman walked out with a plate of flour in her hand.
Her fair, beautiful face glowed like the moon in her white dress
She looked like a houri of heaven. She held felt my presence but
avoided looking at me.
Daughter, love doesnt see promises. Love only sees love. The
beggar took the flour from Eman and walked away.
Eman I called her loudly this time which made her raise her head
to look at me.
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Eman, I still love you. It was so hard to spend these past days
without seeing you. My life is meaningless without you. I love you
so much Eman! Do you love me as well? My eyes pleaded before
her.
Eman, do you love me as well? I asked her again and tears filled
her eyes.
Yes Razi, I love you too. Not from today but from the moment I
arrived in this village. Razi! I used to go to your home just for you.
I had fallen in love with you at first sight. I always lied to you that
I didnt love anyone because I was scared of people. I am still
scared. Razi, God is unjust a lot of times. I dont know how both of
us will end up. I fear that this love will destroy our family. She
hugged me and cried.
I also felt like crying and I was also scared. The upcoming days
were about to bring more pain to our lives. But I dared to keep
standing. I patted Emans shoulder. I had to console her.
Both of us loved each other and we were going to collide with the
villagers. Irrespective of the end of it all Whether we killed or
were killed Love was going to win.
Dad, Eman was bought in 30k, right? Dad ate his food while
sitting beside the stove, when I questioned him.
Yes, but why? What happened? Did you meet Eman today? Dad
backfired. The piece of flatbread had fallen from his hand.
Son, I prohibited you and made a promise with Eman but you
guys still didnt stop.
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I thought that dad would be so angry and hit me but I turned out to
be wrong. He remained normal. But his face told the story of his
worries.
Dad, cant we give Aslam 30k rupees and take Eman from him?
You can give him 30k rupees and get Eman for me. Dad I will
work hard to earn 30 thousands. I will go to the factory from
tomorrow. I will give you all the money, you just get me Eman. I
dont want anything else. Dad, just buy Eman and keep her with
you. I will make money and give it to you and once I have made
30k, you can give me Eman. You just buy her and keep her here. I
cried while sitting on the ground. The words left my mouth without
my consent.
Son Razi, do you think that I have not tried? I couldnt sleep at
night either after separating the two of you. I have been trying to
work it out this past week. You talk about 30k, I tried to give 1
lakh rupees to Aslam but he didnt relent. Son, you father even
held his feet in the lambardars house.
Tariq, go to your uncles house and ask him to come along with
the other brothers and family to the lambardars home. I am also
going to his house. I will try to talk to him along with my family to
make it work, and if it doesnt, I will take the family to the
Panchayat tomorrow. Dad called brother Tariq.
I went with my father. Dad made his way to Emans door. She
came out when he knocked.
Yes uncle. She went inside to call him. Aslam came out in a
minute while putting his slippers on.
She was happy to hear that as she quickly left for my home and we
took Aslam to the lambardars house.
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The lambardars had made salty drinks. They gave us one glass
each. Dad and Aslam finished their drinks but I couldnt do that. I
placed the full glass back.
After some time, when brother Tariq came with all the relatives,
my father started talking. The whole family forced Aslam to leave
Eman and take 1 lakh rupees to start a business instead. 1 lakh was
a big amount at that time. A big general store could have been
formed by that amount. If he had made a shop, he could easily feed
himself for the rest of his life and he wouldnt have had to work for
the lambardars. But Aslam didnt give in; he was stuck at his point.
Its true that I am poor, that I am your servant, but poor people
have some self respect as well. Eman is my wife. You cant take
my wife from me by gathering a family like this. He stood up and
walked out.
Aslam was planning to leave the village with Eman. He had learnt
that someone will take Eman away from him if he stayed in that
village. Because he had no relatives in that village, he simply
decided to leave it. But my dad interfered. Since the villagers had
collected money for Eman, the Panchayat didnt let him leave the
village.
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I and Eman didnt know where to turn then. Aslam never agreed to
leave her and I could never get her in that village. That was why
both I and Eman decided to run away from the village. Dad had
told me not to commit a mistake but love isnt love till you make
mistakes for it.
Dad had taken around 2k rupees from the butcher that day. He had
sold a calf to him. He was going to buy seed for the field by that
money the next evening. He had given the money to mom and
mom had placed it in a trunk without a lock. I had planned to get
that money and run away with Eman. I was going to take that
money out and then we were going to run to Karachi.
Eman, what we are doing isnt too bad, right? I am a boy who
loves you. I will bear all the trouble for you but I am worried about
you more than I am worried about myself. What if this mistake of
ours resulted in your loss? Eman, I will not be able to see you in
pain. I held her hand tightly.
No Razi, its not a mistake. We cannot stay away from each other
for our whole lives in this village. I have been facing loss over loss
for past three years, what difficulty is left after it all? She
consoled me so I reached forward and kissed her forehead.
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Razi, we have to try! Whatever life brings for us, at least we will
not have this burden on our hearts when we get old that we never
tried, that we might have succeeded had we tried. At least we will
not have this regret in the future. We will fight till our last breath.
Success or failure is in the hands of God. God will make
everything better. She opened the door and walked inside while I
was left thinking in the street.
The next day was hard on both of us. The family had their
breakfast in the morning but I kept resting with the excuse of
headache. I was not going to school that day. The family members
went to their respective jobs after having their breakfast. Mom also
went to the camp with dad.
After everyone had left home except me and Eman, I went to the
room, took out the money from the box and counted it. They were
2300 rupees. I carefully counted once again then kept half of the
money to myself and handed the rest to Eman. Both of us took
some of our clothes and walked out.
I locked the front door on the inside, climbed over it and jumped in
the street. Eman covered her face completely with one of my
mothers big shawls. I looked at my home one last time before
holding Emans hand and walking down the path that led outside
the village.
We walked for half an hour to reach the bus station. There we took
a coach to the city of Bahawalpur. We were going to take the bus
to Karachi from Bahawalpur. We bought a bottle of water and a
packet of biscuits from Bahawalpur and climbed in bus that led to
Karachi.
Razi, are you sure that everything will be fine? Eman placed her
head on my shoulder. We were sitting inside the bus.
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Yes Eman, stay strong. God is with us because we love each
other. We managed to step out of our homes so theres nothing to
fear anymore. Whatever the life may throw at us, we will go
through it together. I patted her shoulder to comfort her.
When the bus was full of passengers, it left the station slowly.
Because the station was in the middle of the city, it took the bus
half an hour to get out of it. Once we were out of city, the bus
moved at full speed towards Karachi.
The worries of running from the house along with the worries of
new city and new people had surrounded us throughout the past
night. Eman probably hadnt slept last night. When she got the
support of my shoulder, she let go of all her worries and fell
asleep.
Bravo, dear God. You make a girl more beautiful than the houries
of heaven and then get her sold to an old man. It is still acceptable
but why do you put the love of another boy in that girls heart and
then watch the show? I fell asleep while silently complaining to
God.
Razi, what happened? Thats all she could say before the air was
filled with sounds of gunshots.
Hey driver, why did you stop the bus? The passengers cursed the
driver loudly.
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Shut up! All of you sit quietly in your seats. We will shoot anyone
who misbehaved. Some robbers opened the bus door and climbed
in.
They got the driver and both of the conductors out of the bus.
When I looked down from the window, I saw four more robbers on
the road. They had modern machine guns in their hands and bags
full of magazines on their shoulders.
The bus driver had tried to get the bus away from them but they
had burst a tire by shooting on it. So the driver had to stop the bus
to prevent it from getting upside down.
The punched and hit some people with the handles of their guns
which made everyone else become silent in fear. After everyone
was quite, one of the thieves stood in the front of the seats while
another went to the backside. The rest of them searched each and
every passenger to acquire all the precious things they had on
them.
I and Eman had more than two thousand rupees. That was all that
we had. We had planned to start our new life with that money but
now it was about to go to the pockets of those thieves.
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I helplessly looked around but couldnt think of anything. I would
have done something stupid if I was alone but Eman was there
with me and I was scared for her life. Money was temporary. The
life would have become some more difficult but I was a
hardworking person; I could feed Eman twice a day. I could never
forgive myself my whole life if something had happened to Eman.
Razi, give all the money to brother. God will give us more.
Eman said to me so I decided not to do anything clever and silently
handed him all the money.
Before he could put the money in his pouch, the other robber, who
checked the packet of our clothes, saw it. The first robber had the
money collected from me and Eman in his hands. They were notes
worth 50 rupees each.
How much money did you get from them? The other robber took
the money from him.
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He had an idea that its more than 2k when he held it in his hand. It
was the first time that they had gotten such a huge amount from
two teenagers.
Where in the front? Stand up and get out of your seats. Check
their parents because these children had more than 2k on them. If
the children have such a big amount then their parents must have
even more, which they hid somewhere. That thief called the
robber standing on the front and he immediately came to us.
Oh so you are travelling alone and I dont think that both of you
are siblings. Is it true? The head of the robbers looked into her
eyes and she nodded.
Good, now I understand Both of you ran from your houses and
now youre going to Karachi. Wow! Kudus to this lover! You ran
with a girl and now you are taking her to Karachi? He slapped my
face.
Uncle, please dont hit him. You have taken all of our money. Let
us go now! Eman came in front of me but the thief who had
checked the packet of our clothes caught her arm, making her fall
on the seat.
Where to, princess? Its been a long time since we last found a
couple of lovers. What do you say dear friends? Should we
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celebrate it tonight? The robber said in a despicable tone and all
others began to shout happily.
Come on, you will spend some days as our guest, after that we
will take you to Karachi. Their leader caught my arm and threw
me out of the bus.
The couples who run from their houses have nobody to support
them, which was why those robbers used to take benefit of such a
chance. They would use the girl for some days and then throw both
of them out in the forest. They couldnt tell anyone anything
because they had run away from their homes. The boy would leave
his girl alone once they reached the city because he couldnt think
of marrying her after watching her getting raped for days. So he
would leave the girl and the girl would finally turn into a prostitute
after being rejected from everywhere.
The reality is bitter, but this is reality and this is what I will write.
It runs in our Rajhistani blood. We only claim our love for a girl
till she is virtuous and once the same girl loses her virtue in an
accident, all the love disappears like it was never there and we
name it honor.
The truth was that Eman was much more to me than such things. I
loved Eman with my soul. I was not interested in her body
anymore. Eman thought of her body as my endowment as she tried
to save it from those robbers.
Come on driver! Change the tire and get out of here. These lovers
will go with us. The leader slapped the driver which made him
quickly change the tire.
Ah! You bit me, bitch. The robber screamed and slapped Emans
face when she suddenly bit his hand.
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Eman was a little girl. She fell on the ground with the force of his
slap. She got up immediately and stood in front of the leader this
time.
Uncle, let us go! We are not the lovers who ran from our homes.
Let us go, uncle!
Shut up, you bitch. Are you siblings if not lovers? What can go
wrong if you spend a night with us? We will not let you or your
devotee die! The same robber who had slapped her caught her
hair and pulled her backward.
You, let us go. You are making a big mistake by taking us. I will
get my revenge from each and every one of you if something
happened to my Eman. Shoot us right now because if I survive, all
of you will die. I shouted.
Eman once again caught his wrist between her teeth and bit hard. It
didnt take more than a moment for her teeth to tear his flesh.
Ah, boss it hurt. He left Emans hair and pushed her which made
her fall down on the ground.
Emans teeth had pierced his flesh. The nerve in his wrist was cut
so the blood flowed freely from it.
Uncle, you are trying to take the wrong people with you. Eman
got up again and stood before their leader. Her face was red with
blood.
The leader had a look at the robber writhing on the floor before he
diverted his attention towards Eman. Another robber hastily tied a
cloth on his wrist which stopped the blood flow.
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Boss, dont let her go. I will make her bleed just as much as she
made me bleed. That robber still cursed Eman but didnt dare to
come near her again.
Where are you guys from? The leader ignored him and asked
Eman.
But your language isnt Rajhistani. You speak in the tone of those
from upper Punjab. He was still undecided.
Yes uncle, a 50 years old man bought me from Gujrat in 30k and
this boy didnt run away with me. He saved me. Let us go uncle! I
dont know what compelled you to become a thief but you will
learn that your suffering was nothing compared to mine if you hear
my story. If I can endure all the hardships of this world at the age
of thirteen then I can also endure the pain that you have in store for
me, uncle. She opened her hands and held both of the leaders.
Tears flowed from her eyes as she sat on the floor.
Rajoo, return them all of the money that you took from them.
The leader told Rajoo in a shaky voice so Rajoo quickly took out
our money and returned it to us.
They had taken around two thousand rupees from us but Rajoo
gave us more than that. I didnt pay attention at that time but when
I counted them later on, they were more than three thousand.
The driver got back on changing the tire. The moment he was
done, four police mobiles were there for us. They must have come
to know that the robbers were gone. The police of our country
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mostly reach the crime place after everything in done and dealt
with.
Hey, where did the robbers go? How many were they? All of
those police mobiles stopped in front of us.
A fat inspector got out of one of the vehicles and began to question
the passengers. An old woman pointed towards the forest to tell
them where they went. The inspector said something to them and
three of the police mobiles went that way. Only his own vehicle
was left standing there.
Come on every one! Get into the bus. And you just follow my
mobile to the police station. The inspector told the driver.
Sure sir, I will follow you to the police station. Those robbers
robbed everything we had. He helplessly told the inspector who
just turned to get back into his mobile.
The next moment they started the car and moved towards the
police station. Our bus driver followed his car. Both of the cars
moved towards the police station on a small road away from the
main one. I and Eman were back to our seats. I took out the money
from my pocket and counted it.
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Eman, these are more than 3k. It will be a problem if the police
asked us about it. Worry was evident on my face.
Eman, you should hide these 2k. We will tell the police about one
thousand only. I held out the money for her to take.
But Razi, what issues can the policemen have with us? Eman
said while taking the money from my hand.
If this money can cause issues for us then I will just throw it out
of the window. Eman was sitting beside the window. She opened
it.
The bus entered the police station after some time. It was a fort-
like building which had barbed wires attached on its exalted walls.
They let the current flow in those wires at the time of night. There
was a cell for prisoners on one side of the yard and separate toilets
for men and women beside it. The cell was used for both genders
because the prisoners were kept there for no more than a night or
two before they were transferred to the big city jail.
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Little to none crimes were committed by females as compared to
males in Pakistan anyway. That was why they must not have felt
the need for a separate cell for woman. A small room beside the
cell served as the office of the police station in charge. There were
four other rooms as well, dedicated to different official tasks. The
diver and conductors got out of the bus once it was inside the
station while the other passengers kept sitting.
Yes Shere, get inside the bus and start from the first seat. Send the
passengers to my office one by one and if there are any families,
send them all together. Come on.
Rafeeq, go to your office and write down their details. The fat
inspector addressed constable Bashir and head report writer Rafiq
respectively and walked towards his office.
Hey kids, get up. Where are your parents? Take them and go
down there.
Yes sir, we have gone twice before as well. Our uncle lives near
the station.
Fine, tell us your address and tell us about the money that you
lost. The inspector was satisfied now.
Sure, we didnt lose any money and both of us are fine. You can
write our address from Bahawalpur if you want. I finished my
sentence and looked at the report writer.
Alright, now go and sit there. We will send you to Karachi after
we are done with everyone. The writer wrote our address then
pointed to a corner for us to sit.
The other passengers also sat there. I and Eman also went there
and sat with our backs against the wall.
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Its nothing. Be strong Eman! Just wait a little more. After that we
will make our way to Karachi. God is with us and He will help us.
I consoled her.
Razi, God is not with us. In fact, God is not with me. He wouldnt
have let me get sold to an old man for 30k if that was the case, He
wouldnt have made my father a drug addict and He wouldnt have
taken my childhood away from me. No Razi! God is not with me.
Tears betrayed her eyes and slipped down on her cheeks. She
lowered her eyes.
Suddenly the front gate of the police station opened and a police
jeep with a government tag on it came in. The inspector rose from
his seat, wore his cap and came out of his room. A young,
handsome SP got out of the jeep. With slick clothes and a well-
maintained body, he looked like the son of a rich man who had
probably joined police force after clearing the direct exam.
The whole station was alert at once. Thuds of boots were heard as
everyone saluted him, including the inspector.
You people shouldnt worry. We will try our best and inform you
if any progress is made.
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Daughter, where are you from and how much of your money is
lost? The SP stood in front of Eman so both of us stood up as
well.
Its good that you didnt have to face any loss. Where are your
parents? He looked around.
Sir, they are travelling alone. They are going to attend their
uncles wedding in Karachi. The inspector answered once again.
Sir, are you from Punjab or Sindh? Eman quickly stood up.
She tried to divert his attention and succeeded. The SP forgot his
question and turned towards her.
How could your parents send you to Karachi all alone? What if
you got into an accident? How careless your parents are!
How much of your money did the robbers take? His questioning
didnt cease.
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No sir, none of their money was taken. Would you like a drink,
sir? The inspector interrupted again.
Where is the driver? Call him here. I want to ask all details about
the robbery from him. The SP sat on a chair outside the office.
When the driver came, the SP had him sit on the chair in front of
him and listened to everything he had to say. I and Eman sat back
against the wall. Eman placed her head on my shoulder and
sniveled. I consoled her. This time even I felt the signs of danger
because the SP looked at us again and again while listening to the
driver.
I began to pray silently. After the SP and driver were done talking,
the SP gestured something to a constable who then came to us.
Mr. SP has called the both of you. The constable came to stand
near us.
Come on Eman. I held her hand to help her stand up. Both of us
went to stand in front of the SP.
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You ran from your home to go to Karachi, is it true? The SP
asked and we nodded.
Im sorry to call you my sister but you people arent worth any
relation. Inspector, please have the both of them sit in your mobile
and get them back to their village. The SP stood up from his chair
and said to the inspector.
He was talking to Eman when I tried to tell him about us. He didnt
even listen to me and slapped me hard. I staggered back but didnt
fall on the ground.
Oh, but I do. I know everything. You are married, you were sold
for 30k, he is taking you away to save your life and you bit that
robbers wrist. Is that enough?
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now. He snatched his hand away from hers and walked towards
his car.
His driver had opened the jeeps door for him when Eman called
loudly. He shut the door and came to stand before her.
Her fear had vanished. She stood like a brave lioness in front of
him. He kept staring at her for a few minutes that followed.
Inspector, get them in the mobile and go hand them over to the
lambardar of their village. I need the ID card of that lambardar
along with the receipt that he has received them with his sign on it.
Tell that lambardar that I have called this girl my sister. If I learnt
that anyone has laid a hand on them, I will put the whole village in
jail. Now leave! He told the inspector who immediately asked his
people to get his vehicle ready.
Sir, we are ready to go. The inspector came and saluted the SP.
Both of us went to sit in the mobile.
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Eman, I am trying to make this right but forgive me if I made a
mistake somewhere.
Razi, what will happen now? The villagers will shoot us the
moment they see us. Eman cried and hugged me.
Mr. Inspector, can you help us? I tried one last time.
He sat on the front seat of jeep while we sat with two policemen in
the back. That was why he had to turn to talk to us.
Can you do something for us? Tell us the correct address of your
house so that we will not have to face much trouble in finding it.
The inspector said it lightly so I told him the name of my village.
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Sometimes the sand blocked the road so a trolley came from the
government which picked the sand and threw it away. Some cars
simply crossed those little mountains of sand. Our car ran on that
broken road covered in sand.
Eman, the village is here! I shook Eman by her arm and she
came out of her thoughts.
I held Emans hand and got out. I looked around once I was
outside, almost the whole village had gathered there. It was a small
village and it didnt take long for the news to spread.
Razi Eman looked around with fearful eyes and held my hand
tightly.
Yes Mr. Inspector, where did you find these children of our
village? The lambardar came out of his house.
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He had seen me and Eman and was struggling to hide his fury. I
had committed a huge crime by running away with a girl of our
village and it had severe punishment.
Yes, dad
I really liked sister Nooran. She lived in our colony when I used to
live in Sialkot. She would catch me whenever I passed her home
and give me delicious food to eat. She was friends with a guy from
another village and I used to pass their letters to each other.
She was in love with a boy and she ran from her home with him,
but she was caught. And do you know what happened next? Her
brother threw her on the floor and choked her to death. The whole
village saw her thrash around. Even her own mother watched her
writhing and dying but she kept silent. This is a cruel world Razi.
Even a mother kills her daughter when it comes to honor. So what
importance do you think your little love holds? Razi, you have
fallen in love with a wrong girl at a wrong place.
Sure sir, we are thankful to you for getting our children back to
us. We will decide the rest. Dont worry, we will leave them alone.
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Please say if you want a drink. The lambardar said haughtily and
something crossed the inspectors face.
Listen Mr. Lambardar, we have promised these kids that you will
not do anything to them. Our SP called Eman his sister. That is
why it will not go in your favor if you touched Eman or this boy.
They are not some poor or weak kids but they have backing from
the SP himself. I will visit tomorrow again and if I come to know
that you have hit them, I will put all of you in jail. Eman is like my
daughter.
The inspector placed his hand on Emans head so she left my hand
and grabbed his. I also reached forward and grabbed his other
hand.
You dont have to worry, sir. We are not heartless. These are our
own children. We will not lay a hand on them. You can leave in
peace. The lambardar said cunningly. The inspector stared at him
for a full minute but his face remained expressionless.
Uncle, they will kill us. Please take us with you. Eman held the
inspectors hand as she cried.
Perhaps that inspector didnt have a choice but to fulfill his duty.
His duty demanded him to return the kids to their village and
leave. The inspector patted our heads, took a signed photocopy of
the lambardars ID card and left in his mobile.
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Didnt you realize that you were making a mistake when you ran
with this boyfriend of yours, bitch?
He caught Emans hair in one hand and slapped her face hard with
the other. Her cheek was cut on the inside with the force of his slap
as her mouth filled with blood. The lambardar left her hair which
made her fall on the floor and spit her blood out.
Mr. lambardar, I was the one who took her away. If you want to
hit someone, hit me. But dont you dare touch Eman again or else
you still dont know what I and my family are capable of. I
shouted so he slapped my face as well.
The lambardar had heavy hands. His slap cut my cheek on the
inside as well which made me spit blood, even though I didnt fall
on the ground like Eman.
I know you and your father a little too well. Didnt you think of
your father when you decided to ruin the reputation of our village?
He will be the one to kill you today. Nobody else will dare to do
something like this when they see your filthy blood coloring this
soil of our village.
Rajoo, get the rope and tie the both of them upside down. We will
take out the madness of their love through their noses today. The
lambardar told Rajoo so he went inside and came out with a rope
in his hands.
The villagers tied our hand and feet together before hanging us
upside down to a heavy branch of a big tree in the main piazza.
Our legs were tied to the branch while our heads swung back and
forth.
That stick was oiled and used to hit the animals. The same stick
was about to be used on us. The lambardar caught my hair and
raised my face up.
What do you say, dear villagers? These two tried to go against the
traditions of our village. They have challenged our honor. The
lambardar asked loudly as if he was giving a speech. The whole
village bellowed with the voices that said, Kill them. Kill them.
Forgive you? If I left you lowlifes alone today, you will run away
again with our daughters. The lambardar left my hair with a
violent jerk which left me wagging.
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God has set a certain limit for each person to which he can bear the
pain. The human brain falls unconscious when that limit is crossed.
It becomes numb to pain after that.
Razi Razi Forgive me! Forgive me! You are dying because
of me. Forgive me!
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No uncle. No Dont hit Eman. She is innocent. I had come to
realize his intentions.
He was going to hit Eman. I had borne his beating but Eman was
too fragile. She wasnt strong enough to endure it, so I screamed at
him to stop.
Why, you prostitute? Werent you satisfied with one man that you
befriended him as well? Bitch, dont you think you are too young
to be doing such things? The lambardar caught her hair and
rubbed her cheeks in anger. He had given the stick to Rajoo.
Bitch, this filth runs in the blood of you prostitutes. You get your
lovers died along with you.
The lambardar left her hair, took the stick from Rajoo and hit her
back with it. Because Eman was a girl, they had tied her shirt to
her legs with a small rope.
Her shirt was torn after a few hits from the lambardar which made
her back bare. But nature helped her there as the blood seeping out
of her wounds covered her back completely and so she was saved
from being exposed.
Eman was truly fragile. She couldnt bear the pain as screams left
her mouth. I forgot my affliction when I heard her screams. I was
outraged.
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I will not spare anybody. Kill me, lambardar. Kill me! I bellowed
but my screams fell deaf on his ears.
Listen, if my father and brother came here, they will revenge our
deaths. Leave her, lambardar, or this village will face a massacre.
I shouted even louder when the lambardar stopped.
Listen Riaz, both of them are our culprits. The lambardar tried to
hold my fathers arm but he jerked it away.
Tariq, untie their limbs and get them down! My God they were
about to die. Dad grasped my face in his hands and kissed it
uncontrollably.
Tariq and Farooq, both of you go home and get the ammo. Let me
see who is brave enough to hit my son. I will fight each and every
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one of them. God forbid these are little children and you have
beaten them like this? Tariq, both of you go and get the ammo.
Come near me if you have got enough nerve, and I swear that you
will not go back on your feet. Call me whatever you want. My
father roared and the villagers stepped back. He had become
furious when he saw us hanging from the tree.
Riaz, what youre doing is wrong! You cannot fight the whole
village. They have committed a crime so they will be punished.
You are breaking the rules now because your family is involved.
The lambardar stood his ground.
Listen, Mr. lambardar, its not about my home or your rules. Its
about my son! I dont give a damn about the rules of this village. I
want my son and I will take him back. Dad stood before the
lambardar with his head held high. His eyes had darkened with
rage.
Riaz, you are taking a stance against this whole village dont do
this! Or else we villagers will make your life a living hell. You
cannot take them away because the village is with me. For how
long could you fight? You will die! Go back! The lambardar
didnt budge from his point.
It all came down to honor. The lambardar was like a head of our
village. Nobody had ever raised their voice at him and there stood
my father, yelling at his face.
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shot towards the sky before looking around with blood-thirsty
eyes. The lambardar didnt move from his spot.
Leave buddy! Dont cross the path of a father and a son. I dont
want you to lose your life while trying to save your reputation.
The lambardar took a step back from the rifle but kept standing
there.
Echoes of gunshots filled the air again. The sound had come from
somewhere outside the crowd this time. He was uncle Fiaz.
Stay strong brother Riaz! Dont leave the soil under your feet.
See, your brother is here. After a few moments, uncle Fiaz stood
beside my father with the tip of his rifle against the lambardars
chest.
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Both of my cousins also stood there with rifles in their hands. Even
my little ten years old brother Amir had a pistol in his hand. The
lambardars sons and some of his servants had come out with their
own rifles but they stood away from the scene. Probably they
waited for a command from the lambardar.
Dad, dont spare them today! Get me down and give me the rifle.
Dont let this lambardar go! I shouted.
Dad, you have to turn him into a corpse. I will kill him where he
spilled my Emans blood. My throat was sore because of my
constant yelling.
I swear to God, the love of young has enough power to turn a man
into a wolf. I may not be able to kill you today but my children will
do the task and I dont want to see you die. We are childhood
friends. Leave for the sake of this friendship, mate! Let these kids
go. Dad removed his rifle from the lambardars chest and my
uncle followed course. The lambardar had a look at my fathers
face, stepped back and walked towards his people.
Only my family was left in the piazza then. Dad hung the rifle on
his shoulder and reached for me to get me down. Brother Tariq and
other cousins helped my father. I went to Eman after my legs were
free. Dad had given her a big shawl to wrap around her body.
Her back was split because of the strikes it had borne. Pain was
evident on her face when I shook her as she let out a little
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whimper. That little whimper served to turn me into an animal
again.
Dad, give me the rifle. I got up and tried to snatch the rifle away
from his hands but he held it tightly.
Brother Tariq, give me the rifle. I tried to take the rifle from
brother Tariq.
No son Razi, this matter is closed. Dont try to amplify it. Lets
go home. We shouldnt stay here for a long time. Dad hung the
rifle on his shoulder and caught me from behind.
No, dad, let me go. He hit my Eman. I told him to kill me but not
lay a hand on her but see how he beat her. Dad, he hit my Eman.
He hit my Eman. I cried in his chest.
Its okay, son. Im thankful to God that the both of you are still
alive. Dont worry for the wounds, they will heal with time. Dad
held me against his chest as he consoled me.
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I was going insane with my fury. The sons and servant of the
lambardar had run away already. The lambardar was also about to
run when my call stopped him.
No lambardar, no. You will not be able to run faster than the
bullet. Be a man and take the bullet in your chest. Dont be a
coward I faced you like a lion when you were powerful like one
a little while ago. Why are you running away like a dog now? The
lambardar stopped and stood straight.
Mr. Lambardar, you must have seen many lovers but I dont think
that you have seen those who give up on their lives for love. Shoot
me. My death will teach you the art of giving up on life for love. I
swear to God, if any of us as much as whimpered while dying, I
will allow you to confront me for it on the day of resurrection.
Uncle, you are my fathers age, you are older than me but you still
have to see the real lovers. Come on, shoot me. Eman stood
bravely in front of him with tip of the rifle against her chest.
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The shawl that my father gave her lay abandoned at her feet. The
bloodied and torn clothes hung limply from her body but they still
successfully covered her. Perhaps her clothes were also in love
with her that they displayed by sticking to her body even in their
torn state.
Go! Leave Eman! I am not your enemy. I dont know if your love
is true or not. All I know that the reputation of my village is on
stake and I am trying to save it. I am the lambardar of this village
and I am simply fulfilling my duty. The lambardar threw the rifle
on ground and went towards his house. Dad took us home.
Mom had come to know about what had happened outside but she
couldnt step out of her house in presence of so many people
because she was a woman. Her heart trembled with the sound of
each gunshot and she tried to look outside over and over. She
couldnt get any concrete idea because of the crowd that had
gathered there.
How would a woman feel when her husband and all four sons
stand armed and ready to fight outside her home? I dont think you
can fathom her feelings and I do not have the words to explain
them.
She would come to the door and return back before repeating the
cycle. She ran towards me when dad brought us home. She cried as
she kissed my face repeatedly and caressed my wounds in hopes to
decrease the pain.
Samina, stop it. A little beating cannot kill this barefaced son of
ours. He will only die after killing all of us.
Dad got her away from me and kicked my stomach. I doubled over
in pain.
Tariq, get on the roof with your brother. Listen, you have to stay
armed the whole night and guard the house. The lambardar is a
nasty man. He will not sit in peace. He will definitely try to do
something tonight. Amir will guard while staying indoors.
Remember son, you will not sleep. We just have to pass this night.
Tomorrow I will go to the Panchayat for settlement. I will
apologize in front of the Panchayat and hopefully this matter will
be closed.
Son, dont try to go near front wall of the roof. Anybody could
make you a target if they see you standing at edge of the roof.
Dont try to show off your heroism and stay alive! All of us need
you. Dad patted brother Tariqs head and sent both of my brothers
to the roof.
Brother Fiaz, you can go back to your home now! Come back
after the Morning Prayer so we can go to the Panchayats head. It
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will be better for us if we can get the Panchayat ready soon. Dad
told my uncle but he refused to go back. He sent both of his sons
home and guarded our home with my father.
Uncle, should I make tea for you? Eman asked nervously and
that was when my dad realized that she was there. He had
forgotten about her in his worry.
There are people who are split in half and they dont even
complain, then why couldnt you bear an old and helpless man?
What could have gone wrong if you had spent a few more years of
your life with him? You couldnt even pass three years and you
talk about giving up on your life for love? Anybody could die for
love but only Ranjha could pasture animals for twelve years. You
lost your courage is mere three years.
Daughter Irum, tell this liar sister of yours that you love her as
well. This Amir also loves her you can ask him. Dad pointed a
finger towards Amir.
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Yes Eman, I still love you. Irum caressed her cheeks. She
wanted to sit near Eman but dad didnt let her.
Eman, whats the fault of all these people who love you? My
whole family is on the verge of death because of you and you say
that we havent seen those who love? You ask me for tea I dont
want tea anymore. I enjoyed tea only when my daughter made it
and my daughter is no more.
Samina, bandage her wounds. She is a girl. She must not bear the
scars or her life will be ruined.
Dad told my mom to bandage her and went to sit on a cot in the
yard. An hour passed in peace. Our worry was starting to diminish
when we heard sound of a gunshot from outside before the
continuous firing begun. The lambardar had come out with his
people as he fired towards the sky. Dad had told brother Tariq
what to do already so he lay in the middle of roof. Nobody
returned the firing from our side which seemed to lift their courage
up. They continued their firing for about ten to fifteen minutes that
followed.
Riaz, Eman is the culprit of our village. Hand her over to us and
we will resolve your sons issue in the Panchayat. We will leave if
you give us Eman or else all of your peoples blood will be on our
hands. The lambardar yelled loudly outside in the market.
He knew that my father will never let his son die but because
Eman was a woman that was bought for his servant, he wanted to
kill her to instill his dread in peoples minds. He knew that nobody
would hold him accountable even if he killed her and that was why
all he talked about was taking Eman with him.
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so she tried in vain to hide in my mothers arms. Irum also held
Eman to her to let her know that she was not alone.
Samina, go inside with Irum and Eman and lock the door. Dad
told my mother so she stood up with both girls to leave the room.
Eman Dad called her from behind so she stopped and turned to
look at him.
Dad told Eman and blasted a bullet towards the sky to let them
know that we were not afraid of them. They could only take Eman
after killing all of us. There was firing outside is response to ours.
We didnt have a lot of bullets in our house which was why my
dad used them carefully.
In our villages, there are mostly two entrance doors for each home.
One of them is the main entrance that is used by family members.
That door is also used to get different vehicles inside, and then
there is another door to the drawing room thats used to get the
guests inside. A separate door in the drawing room opens into the
house. The lambardar and his sons used that door to get inside.
The heavy iron door was strong but it eventually lost this battle of
survival against the bullets that rained down on it. It finally came
down with a thud. Brother Tariq crossed that door and entered the
house. Dad and uncle Fiaz had reached there by that time. Inside
the home, there were four rooms with light wooden doors
alongside each other on one side of the yard. The lambardar and
his family had locked those rooms on the inside. Brother Tariq
tried to shoot at one of the doors but his second magazine was also
empty by that time. He cursed at the lambardars and took out
another magazine to connect to his rifle. Dad and uncle reached
him. They caught brother Tariq from behind.
If they had taken even a little longer to reach there and brother
Tariq had attached the magazine, the light wooden doors couldnt
have been able to provide any protection to those who were inside
and considering the madness that enveloped my brother at that
time, none of them would have been left alive. But God wanted
them to live more, so they survived. Dad came back home with
brother Tariq. Brother Tariq had made it clear that he is one to be
feared. That heavy iron door was a proof of what we were capable
of. It was the second time that day that the lambardar saw death
before his eyes and it frightened him. That fear helped us in the
Panchayat the next morning.
For the first time in my life, I saw my father on his knees in front
of those people. All three of my brothers and our relatives watched
him getting down on his knees and apologizing to the lambardar. It
was utter disgrace but my father endured it for his one shameless
son.
Riaz, I and the whole Panchayat has decided that these children
committed a mistake by running from their homes and this mistake
is unforgivable. Our females will try to run away in future if this
couple is not punished. That is why we have decided that this boy
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will be tied against a tree and lashed fifty times while this girl will
be stoned to death because she brainwashed your boy and
persuaded him to run away with her despite of her being married.
Her husband will be given 30k by Panchayat and the lambardar
will be responsible for handling the police. The Panchayats head
stood up and announced.
Dad was standing near me. He slapped my face hard and made me
sit back on the ground. I silently sat because I had said what I
wanted to say. But I didnt bend my head this time; instead I stared
at the whole Panchayat in their eyes.
Sir, he is a child. Forgive him. I will teach him not to repeat such
a thing. These children committed a mistake by running away from
their homes and the lambardar punished them yesterday by beating
them in front of the whole village. That is why I request you to
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leave them alone and spare Emans life as well. I assure you that
no such thing will happen again. Dad apologized again.
The Panchayat was divided into two parts. Half of the judges were
in favor of forgiving us while the other half wanted us punished.
Every single passing moment was hard on us. Finally the
Panchayat agreed on one decision and the head stood up along
with the lambardar.
In cities, gas or electric stoves are used for cooking but in villages,
wood still does the task. Our village is still deprived of gas and is
only given electricity for 7 to 8 hours a day. We cannot use electric
stove because electricity is too expensive. Because there is an
abundance of wood in cotton fields, most people in the villages of
Bahawalpur use wood to make a fire.
Come on, now blacken each others faces with it and apologize to
the villagers. The lambardar placed the pan in front of us.
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Come on! Put it on each others faces. I held the pan in my hand
and looked at Eman with helpless eyes.
Suddenly she smiled secretly and placed her hand on the back of
the pan to make it black. She rubbed her hand on my face after it
had blackened enough. In a few moments, my whole face was
black. The villagers laughed at me. I looked at her black hand.
Eman, you hand has blackened. I tried to clean her hand with my
shirt.
Eman had closed her eyes. Her fair face slowly darkened. The
villagers laughed even louder. Dad placed a hand on my little
brother Amirs eyes and held him against his chest. He was crying.
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Amir loved Eman the most out of my family. Eman also cared for
her as if he was her younger brother. All of my family was
grieving but she wasnt whose face had blackened. Yes, Eman
wasnt sad at all. I removed my hand after her face was completely
black and she opened her eyes to look at me.
Razi, how do I look? I look pretty, right? They say that true love
adorns a womans face. Dont you think my love is true, Razi? See
I have the color of your name beautifying my face. Women apply
red Henna on their hands for their lovers. See, I have applied black
Henna for you. She showed me her hand.
Listen Aslam, Eman has been punished for what she did. Now if
you hurt her, you will be the culprit and you will be hung by that
tree. That is why if you want to keep Eman, you can take her with
you. She is your wife and you have a right on her, but leave her
alone if your honor doesnt allow it.
Riaz is ready to give you 1k rupees for Eman. If you want, you
can take that money in exchange for Eman. The leader addressed
Aslam.
But Aslam chose Eman over 1k rupees and took her to his home.
Once we were home, dad locked me inside the room again and
went to have his dinner.
Love doesnt only burn the lovers but it burns everyone who
crosses its path. Love destroys all the paths.
Eman was alone with Aslam. He was her husband. He was poor
but still honorable. He could have hurt Eman had his bruised ego
made itself known during the night.
Mom, ask dad to check up on her. Your son will die if something
happened to her.
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Shut up you wretch! She is with her husband. What relation do
we have with her that allows us to check up on her in the middle of
night? Dad had come near the door.
You need to stop with this lovers act now. Focus on your studies
instead.
Eman and Aslam were inside the room and Emans screams could
be heard. Dad ran swiftly towards the room when he heard her
voice. The room was unlocked. Aslam had made a noose out of a
rope which he was attaching to the roof. He wanted to kill Eman
by hanging her with it. He would have killed Eman had my father
been a little late. He would have easily hung her to his snare and
untied her limbs after she was dead. He was going to make it look
like a suicide.
All of the villagers had seen Emans condition in the day and they
hated her. They wouldnt have doubted Aslam and instead they
would have been happy on her suicide. But my heart told me about
it before time. I understood that she was in trouble the moment my
heart stopped beating. Its the spiritual connection of love that only
the most fortunate are blessed with.
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Dad entered the room and beat him furiously. Aslam fell down on
the ground after a few hits and began to apologize, but my dad kept
hitting him. Brother Tariq also began to beat him. Aslam asked for
forgiveness loudly when he couldnt see a way out.
Eman spent that night in the lambardars house. The next day,
Aslam asked for pardon in Panchayat and said that he wanted to
take Eman back, but my dad opposed it along with all his relatives.
Aslam didnt have any right to kill Eman because the Panchayat
had spared her life, but still he had tried to hang her, which was
why the Panchayat decided to send Eman to the lambardars house.
She worked in their house for a whole year that followed. The
lambardars had gotten a maid for free who never talked back no
matter how much they cursed on her. She simply worked quietly
all day.
All the liveliness and mischief had been drained out of Eman. The
fire of love was turning her into coal. Her large green eyes had
become a synonym to insanity. The other servants of the lambardar
were afraid to look into those eyes. The lambardars sons tried to
tease Eman when she was alone but backed away when confronted
with her anger.
I tried to meet her countless times in those six months but she
didnt want to meet me. She had understood it by mine and my
familys condition that we could never be together. We could
never become one in this world. Eman had learnt that this little
love of ours had the power to culminate our whole family, so she
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backed away. My family had showered her with love and respect
for three years and she gave up on her little love for their love.
The prince had crossed that river of fire to save his princess from
that giant but the princess refused to leave with him.
The insanity in her eyes only increased with each passing day.
Finally the lambardars wife surrendered before her and told the
lambardar to send her back to Aslam. Eman didnt want to leave
their house but the lambardars wife was afraid of her. She had
young boys and she wanted to save them from her evil spirit.
Aslam was happy when he got Eman back. God returned Eman to
the same person again and again who took her for granted every
time. God has strange ways. Sometimes, He grants you with
everything without asking while at other times, He lets you beg for
something for your whole life but doesnt let you have it. This is
what happened to me even when I needed Eman more than I
needed to breathe.
I had tried to climb their walls a few times at night without any
success. I was caught every time and returned after getting a
beating from the lambardars servants. I didnt care about my
clothes or my food. I ate whatever mom or Irum stuffed in my
mouth and wore whatever they gave me to wear. Dad thought that
I would recover after some time and he was waiting for it to
happen.
Light rain had dribbled down that day. The sky was covered in
clouds and chill wind blew. I stood at the roof of my home,
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watching the pigeons flying on sky. I watched those free birds
flying freely. I saw Eman when Aslam took her out of the
lambardars home. Eman had looked at our roof as well. Her eyes
met mine as our love refreshed.
Eman hadnt met me for a year. She had stayed away. She thought
that I wouldnt meet her again, that I must have moved on with my
life and forgotten her. She didnt have an idea of the depth of my
love for her, yet.
Both men and women can fall in love. A woman forgets her entire
being when she falls in love. Men dont love as much compared to
that. Most men only deceive in the name of love but when a man
really falls in love, he forgets even God.
That ivory face with huge green eyes that cut through my chest
when they met my eyes. I couldnt bear those eyes for much
longer, my mind spun as I fell there on the roof. Eman reached for
my home when she saw me falling but Aslam held her hand
tightly. Eman had lost her composure for just a moment. She
pulled herself together and went to her home with Aslam.
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I forgot everything when I saw her before my eyes. She had
returned to Aslams home and she still loved me. I had seen the
reflection of that love in those green eyes of hers. That reflection
of love had made me lose my senses. The next moment, I was
knocking on Aslams door as I stood before it. I jumped and
climbed the door when nobody opened it.
You, Aslam, dont you dare touch Eman. Aslam began to hit
Eman when he saw me climbing the wall.
Listen Aslam, dont touch her. I will break your hands if you lay
them on her! I came between him and Eman. Aslam left her and
targeted his attention on me.
Why? What will you do? She is my wife and I will do whatever
the hell I want to her! Who are you to stop me? Aslam grabbed
my collar.
Aslam, say whatever you want. Do whatever you want but dont
do anything bad to Eman. I will lose my sanity if you touch her. I
shouted so he slapped me a few times and pushed me on the floor.
He caught Eman by her hair.
He cursed and beat Eman. I got up from the ground and tried to
stop him but he was much bigger than me. He left Eman and begun
to beat me. There was a big cane in his yard. He picked that cane
up and beat us with it. He cursed at us in anger and kept hitting us
with that cane. I tried to protect Eman by getting in front of her.
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After he was tired of beating us, he caught Emans hair and picked
her up. He violently pulled on her hair and slapped her. I couldnt
see her in pain, so I got up and ran towards my house. I unlocked
the door from the inside and walked out into the street.
I couldnt walk properly after all that beating but I got to my home
somehow. The family members sat in a corner and were busy in
chatting with each other. Nobody paid any heed to me so they
didnt see the limp in my walk. I silently walked inside the room.
The door was open and Aslam was still busy in beating Eman. She
was crying and screaming but none of it affected Aslam as he kept
on beating her.
Why? Is this bitch your sister? Do you even know how to use this
weapon that you are handling? He still had her hair in his hand.
Aslam, I love this bitch. I am her dog Get out from between us
or I will cut you. You must have seen a lot of mad dogs. Look at
another one today! I growled.
No Eman, your dog will not leave you today! It will kill or get
killed but it will not leave you!
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Let her go Aslam. Face me if youre strong enough! I screamed
in rage but he wasnt affected. He still pulled at her hair.
Why? What will you do? Will you shoot me? Tell me if you want
to shoot me. Son, it takes a lot of courage to shoot someone. It
takes this much bravery to kill someone. He left her hair and
gestured with his hands.
Aslam caught her and threw her back on the floor before kicking
her. He mercilessly kicked her ribs and Eman clamped her teeth to
shut her screams down. She knew that a single scream of hers
could make me shoot Aslam and spend the rest of my life in jail.
She endured the pain for me. My tolerance was getting thin
because of the scene unfolding before me.
What happened? Is the Romeo hurt? Hand me this gun, child. Its
not a plaything for kids. He left Eman and walked towards me.
Boom
The bullet left my gun and cut through the flesh of Aslams arm
which made him fall on the floor.
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There is a lot of between toy gun and a real gun. A real gun is very
heavy and it jolts backwards after a bullet is shot. My gun jolted
back after the bullet left it and it fell from my hands.
Maybe nature had designed Newtons third law of motion just for
me. If the gun hadnt fallen from my hands, I would have shot a
second and third time and Aslam would have died right there.
Maybe he still had some years left to live. That single bullet had
forced him down on the ground. The bullet had cut through his arm
so he writhed on the floor in pain.
Razi, what have you done you killed him. One of her hands
was on my collar as she slapped me with the other.
Razi, you have ruined both of our lives. She cried loudly while
continuously slapping my face and I simply stood there. Perhaps
God looked down at us with pity from his throne.
All the worlds a stage and all the men and women merely
players.
The lambardar went to the police station because Aslam was shot. I
was locked in a room of the lambardars palace. I sat in a corner of
that dark room with my back against the wall. I was scared of the
future but no regret clouded my vision.
He had hit my Eman, cursed on her and called her a bitch then
whats the use of such love that stays silent when a lover is getting
beaten. People die for love so I will also face death penalty for
Emans love.
So, Mr. Inspector, what do you think? You can see that he is a
child and Aslams life has been saved. You can make a better
decision after considering the facts. The lambardar called the ASI
an inspector which made him perk up a little.
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Mr. lambardar, Aslam has been saved but we still have to take the
matter to court. We have to arrest him. The report has been written
and we have to answer our seniors. The ASI said cunningly.
Sir, he is still a child. You know well that his life will be ruined if
this matter reached the court. I will take care of Aslam if you show
some sympathy. You can take some money and leave the child
alone. The lambardar said to inspector which had him thinking.
Thats fine, Mr. Inspector. I will go with you. You can arrest me
in place of my child. Dad came forward and the inspector agreed.
They took my dad to the police station in their mobile. I was free
so I came back to my home where everyone looked at me with
disgust. Mom sat near uncle Fiaz.
Sure sister, I will try my best. Rizwan shouldnt have tried to kill
Aslam and the lambardar is already against us. He will try his best
to not let brother Riaz come out of jail. For how long could we
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poor people fight him? I will try my best. I will take the Panchayat
leader to the police station with me. I hope that everything will be
fine. Please keep praying. Uncle said anxiously and stood up.
Brother, here is some gold jewelry. There are mine and Irums
earrings as well. You can sell them to collect some money. Mom
handed my uncle a small pouch.
Son Tariq, get more money from the room. Mom told brother
Tariq so he picked up the money and went out with uncle.
Mom, I am hungry
Irum, your brother is hungry. Give him some food. Mom said to
Irum and walked inside the room.
I took the food from her hands and started eating. Irum got up and
went to my mother. I ate and went to rest on a cot inside the room.
My stomachache was a little better so I fell asleep quickly.
Razi, you have ruined both of our lives. I instantly got up when I
heard Emans scream.
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It was little dream but it made me restless once again. I quickly got
up from the cot and left the house. Aslams door was locked on the
outside. I saw it so I walked towards the lambardars house and
knocked on their door. A servant opened the door. I asked him to
call Eman but he completely refused. I tried to get inside the house
by force which resulted in more of his servants coming out. They
gave me some punches and pushed me out of the house. I got up
angrily cursing on them and walked towards my house.
I went to get a gun. If I could shoot one person for Eman, I could
shoot others as well. I entered the house and went straight to the
room that had the ammo. I opened the suitcase only to find it
empty. Dad had hid the ammo somewhere else in the morning. I
searched everywhere like a madman but couldnt find it.
I bore all the beating but didnt leave. I had decided to meet Eman
and I wasnt going to leave before seeing her. The servants were
tired of beating me and my clothes were wet with blood. My blood
had colored those servants clothes as well.
Leave, mate Rizwan! Why are you ruining yours and your
familys honor in vain for a married girl? The lambardars eldest
son stood there and saw me getting beaten. He came forward to
hold me after the servants were tired of beating me.
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that girl? The lambardars son tried to reason with me which had
me in tears. I looked into his eyes for a long time.
Mate, this is love. Just let me see Emans face once. I just want to
look at Eman. Only once, please! I begged to him.
I cant live without her buddy! Just once! Just let me see her face
once.
She stood beside the lambardars son. He had brought Eman out
and now stood with his back against the door as he enjoyed the
little moment we had together.
Razi, mate, I was crazy. I was stupid to fall in love with you. I
thought that love was easy but I dont think anyone could feel the
amount of pain that I have felt because of this love, but I still love
you. I know that we can never be together in this world but I will
ask God to let me have you on the day on resurrection.
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I had seen Eman so I came back to my home silently. Brother
Tariq and uncle Fiaz came back home empty-handed after some
time. The inspector had taken all of their money but didnt release
my father. He had to spend that night in jail. He didnt come back
the next day or the next. Days passed and all of our animals were
sold one by one.
The whole family had come to hate me. They thought that I was
responsible for everything and it was true. Our honor and
reputation in village was ruined because of me. The villagers
mocked my brothers whenever they stepped out of our house.
The neighbors sent us some Lassi (a salty drink made with milk),
so mom added some salt in it and gave us one flatbread each to eat
with it. I silently dipped pieces of my flatbread in the Lassi and ate
them.
Son, I dont know whose evil eye we caught. How happy we used
to be! I wish I hadnt gone to Sialkot for my brothers wedding.
We would still be happy if this Rizwan had just stayed there at his
grandfathers home. Perhaps we never needed him. Mom looked
at me with revulsion and the piece of flatbread slipped from my
hand. I left the meal and went inside my room.
Wow Rizwan, what is the use of your life? Why were you even
born? I thought.
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Truly, nobody needed me in that house. My family was happy
when I was in Sialkot. They were content with three sons and a
daughter then what was my use? Maybe I was so worthless.
Nobody needed me then why was I alive? Whats the use of such a
life when nobody needed me and the whole village was annoyed
by me?
My whole body was drenched in sweat. I got up from the floor and
sat on a cot. I still couldnt find any peace. I came to the window
of my room and looked out into the yard. Amir still hugged my
mother. All of my brothers looked sad. My dad was in jail because
of me. The peace of our home had been destroyed. That once
heaven-like home had become worse than hell. I got away from the
window.
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I took all the tablets in my mouth at once. I swallowed them with
the help of poison. That poison was too bitter. It cut through my
throat and burned my stomach, but I didnt remove its bottle from
my mouth till I had swallowed every last drop of it. I threw the
bottle on floor once it was empty and went to sit on my cot again. I
didnt feel anything for next few minutes except a sore throat.
It looks like this poison was a sham. I thought and got up from
the cot. I reached for the other bottles of poison and that was when
I begun to feel its effects. I lost my balance and fell on the ground.
White froth bubbled out of my mouth.
Irum came into the room for something and screamed when she
saw my condition. My whole family gathered around me in a few
moments. Brother Tariq flipped me on my back as I gagged. Mom
sent Amir to the lambardars house to get a car.
Only the lambardars had a car in our village, no one else. Some
people had motorcycles though. That was why the lambardars car
helped whenever an emergency occurred in our village. The
lambardar came with his son after some minutes had passed. They
hastily put me in the car and took me to the doctor. Mom and
brother Tariq came along as well.
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now but hopefully he will be fine in a few days. The lambardar
had bought some medicines from the store.
Sister, please tell me if you need anything else that I can get for
you. The lambardar avoided looking in her eyes.
Sisters have rights over their brothers. They get everything they
want from their brothers and they even fight for it, then how can I
visit you without bringing anything for you?
Mom also cared for him like an elder brother, but my little love
had damaged this beautiful relationship that they had.
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been locked up for past ten days but we are enduring it with
patience. All of our animals have been sold. We dont even have
enough money to buy food. My children have been eating flatbread
dipped in Lassi that the neighbors send for past three days but I
have endured it. Today I am scared because my son took poison!
My son will die if it continued like this. Brother, you have called
me your sister for past twenty years. Today this sister of yours
begs you to pardon her sons life. Please forgive us! Mom
removed her scarf for her head and placed it in the lambardars
feet.
The lambardar hastily picked up the scarf from his feet and placed
it on my mothers head. He placed his hand on my mothers head
as he spoke.
Sister, I have forgiven your husband and your son with my heart.
Brother Riaz will come back home by this evening. Its your
brothers promise to you. Now go to your home in peace and try to
forgive me as well. I am the leader of this village and I had
forgotten about my sister because of this leadership. I promise you
that I will only wish well for you in future. The lambardar placed
his hand on my mothers head before he left.
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plants werent watered in past ten days and all of them had dried
up.
That little land of four acres had been completely destroyed. Dad
fell on his knees when he saw the condition of camp. He cried
hysterically like a little child. This land was used to feed him and
his children and he couldnt bear seeing it like that. I filled a glass
with water from a tap on the camp, placed my hand on my fathers
shoulder and asked him to drink some.
Dad, have some water. I couldnt looks into his eyes for long.
Rizwan buddy, whats happened to us? Whose evil eye did our
camp catch? This camp was the result of my lifes worth of hard
work. How did it destroy so quickly? No, Rizwan, its not
possible. He couldnt believe his eyes. He couldnt even talk
properly with his overwhelming grief.
The lambardar had come to see my father at home but didnt find
him there, so he came to the camp looking for him. Dad stood up
when he saw the lambardar and the Panchayats leader on a bike. I
set up a cot for them and gave them water after they had sat.
Dad, you dont have to. I will work for the lambardars. I said
quickly which had my father looking at me.
Son, its idiocy to wish for something that you can never have.
Eman is married and Aslam is her husband. You could never have
Eman even if the whole village supported you. She is Aslams wife
and you are committing a sin by loving someone elses wife. It is a
sin, my son. It isnt love. Love is sacred and both of you arent.
Forget about Eman! Try to live your life and let her live hers. I
silently got up from my fathers feet and walked towards my home.
I saw the lambardars son while passing their house and my feet
carried me to him.
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I miss her a lot. Just let me see her once. My words trembled.
The desire to look at her once again captured my heart.
Mate, let me see her face once. God will grant you with
everything you want. I begged like a vagrant in front of him for a
single glance of Eman. He patted my shoulder, opened the door
and walked inside.
How are you, Razi? Why did you try to kill yourself? See, I am
also in pain but I am not trying to commit suicide, then why did
you try that? She stroked my cheeks lightly. I closed my eyes and
felt her touch in the depths of my heart.
Razi, how are you? I opened my eyes when she asked again.
Eman, lets leave this village. This village will never let us be
together. We need to leave it. Come on Eman, lets run away
again. Will you run away with me? I offered her my hand and she
took it.
Razi, you dont have to ask because Eman has given you the
ownership of her life. I will go wherever you want, no questions
asked. I will live with you and I will die for you, so you dont have
to ask any questions.
Where will the both of you go? The lambardars son asked and I
shook my head.
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Do you have any money on you? He asked and I shook my head
again. I didnt have a single penny in my pocket.
Mate, Rizwan, its all that was there in the house right now. I
know that the both of you are truly in love with each other and I
will be happy to help you guys out. I would have made a life for
you to lead together, if I could. I pray that God keep you happy.
I took the money from him and started my journey out of the
village with Eman. He watched us leaving for a long time before
walking back into his house. Both of us came to the Bahawalpur
city and I took a bus to Sialkot from there.
Son, didnt your father come with you? Where is he? Did he stop
at the camp? Grandpa asked me about my father. Their camp was
in the path from the station and my uncle worked there. So he
thought that dad stayed there with him and sent the both of us
home.
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There is a phone call for Mehboob Ghumman. Please come and
receive your call. My grandpa stood up when he heard the
announcement.
Grandpa put on his slippers, took the money and went to listen to
the call. He came back after half an hour. My uncle came with him.
The call had come from my home. Dad had told him about me
running away. The whole village was under another shock. Eman
had run away with me again and the Panchayat wasnt ready to
forgive us this time. Police had come in the village to arrest my
father but the lambardar fulfilled his promise this time; the promise
that he had made to my mother. He did what a brother would do.
He stopped the police and promised that he would return the girl.
My grandpa told everything to my father and promised to send us
back to Bahawalpur with uncle.
Did you run away with this girl? Grandpa asked once again so I
stood up.
Yes grandpa, we love each other and we ran from our homes. I
have spent my childhood in this house and I hope that you will let
us stay in your house.
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Abrar, go and change quickly! We are taking them back to
Bahawalpur right now! Grandpa told my uncle so he went to
change.
Grandpa, its the second time that we ran from our house. Those
people will kill us and we are not ready to die yet. I looked
crossly at my grandpa which got me a hard slap from him.
Son, you are worried for your life and what about those who you
have left at home? Did you even think what will happen to them?
Police is there at your home. They will take your father and
brothers with them and Panchayat will take its revenge from your
mother and sister. You have a little sister, Irum. Have you ever
thought what will happen to her? Those villagers will cut her to
pieces. What kind of love is it thats earned by ruining your sisters
honor? If you had enough love, you would die at that piazza of
your village but would not let anybody take your honor away!
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Son Rizwan, its true that your grandpa is old now but he can still
protect you and your family. Nobody would be able to muster
enough courage to lay a hand on you.
Abrar, take some ammo with you! Grandpa told my uncle when
he came out after changing his clothes, so he went back inside to
get the ammo.
Panchayat was ready in the village, but the lambardar was with us
this time. My grandpa and uncle showed off their weapons and all
of our relatives had gathered there. So the Panchayat didnt try to
do anything bad this time. Eman was given to Aslam and I went
back to my home with my grandpa and uncle.
Because it was an iron door that was strongly attached to its frame,
it was almost impossible to break it. There wasnt a way to get
inside the room except that door.
Razi Razi Save me! For Gods sake let me go! Eman
screamed.
The door was too strong to be opened but I still tried to break it. I
could hear her screams continuously. She begged and cried but
probably there was a powerful man inside who tried to ruin her
honor.
I caught Amirs throat after I was tired of kicking the door. He was
the youngest in our house and he was the only one who I could
catch easily, so I caught his neck.
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I had shouted so loudly that the whole family diverted their
attention from Eman to me. Amir squirmed in my grip.
You father is there with Eman! Leave my son alone! Why are you
set on killing him? Its your father inside who is trying to rape a
girl that he called his daughter for three years! Mom slapped me
once again. She took Amir away from me and hugged him.
I was in a shock. My father was there with Eman. I could still hear
her screams. She was putting up a fight against my father. That
little sparrow tried to break the hold of a hawk. I could still hear
her screams but I was numb after hearing what my mother had just
said.
My heart didnt want to believe it, but my mother had told the
truth. It was my own father who had called Eman his daughter for
three years. He knew that I loved Eman and he cared for her like
his own daughter. I trusted my father the most in this world. He
was a good man. I respected him with my heart and believed him
with my soul. That father had turned into a wolf that day. What
could hurt more than having your father rape the girl you love?
I got up silently, picked a kitchen knife from near the stove and cut
my wrist. A splash of blood hit my face, making it red.
Oh Riaz, your son has cut his wrist. Oh Riaz, you killed my son!
Mom screamed and door opened the next moment. I saw my
fathers face and Eman behind him. She pushed my father to a side
and ran towards me.
Razi Razi! What happened to you? She forgot her own pain.
She couldnt even feel her nudity after watching my bloodied arm
and face.
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Because the knife wasnt so sharp and I had only managed to make
a single cut, the blood flow stopped when brother Tariq tied a cloth
to it.
Eman, are you okay? I stood up and she stood up with me.
Her shirt was completely torn and had been removed by my father.
She realized her state of nakedness when she stood up. She wore a
torn trouser but she didnt have a shirt on. She looked ashamed as
she tried to hide her body. I swiftly snatched my mothers scarf
and placed it on Eman.
Why did you rape Eman? You knew that I loved her, didnt you?
She is your future daughter-in-law! She was your daughter, then
why? It was getting hard to hold my anger back.
I slapped his hand away and caught his collar. I raised my hand to
punch him but Eman caught my hand.
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Eman had been transferred to the lambardars home once again. I
kept trying to meet her for a few days but she refused. I couldnt
enter the lambardars home by force.
Dad came home late that night. Mom placed his meal in front of
him but he refused to eat. Mom silently picked up the pots,
dropped the curry back in its pan and washed the pots. She had
totally stopped talking to my father.
The next morning we ate our breakfast while sitting beside the
stove. My father stopped brother Tariq when he was about to leave
for work after the breakfast.
Rizwan, mate, I know that you will never forgive me, but trust
me, my son, whatever I did, I did for this family. I still think of
Eman as my daughter. I was scared for them when you ran away
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the second time. I thought that Eman would hate me and this
family if I tore her clothes. I thought that she would leave you after
she stopped loving us, but I was wrong, my son. Perhaps I could
never understand you both. Perhaps I could never understand this
love. Forgive me! I was wrong. I made a mistake because of my
love for this family. Tears filled his eyes as he cried.
All family hugged him. They had forgiven him, but my heart was
broken. My Eman had become distant. How could I forgive him? I
stood up.
No dad, I dont have such a big heart. The family forgave you.
You have become their hero once again, but not mine. I dont think
I will ever be able to forgive you. Im sorry dad. You are my father
and I have the same blood running in my veins as yours. You gave
me everything but none of it could ever make up for Eman. You
took my Eman away from me. How can I forgive you for that? No,
father. I will never forgive you. I sat down again and continued
eating my food.
Son, Rizwan, I know that you will never forgive me, but I am
your father and I only want the best for you. I will talk about Eman
in Panchayat today. Do pray! Maybe God will make a way. I
placed the bite of food in my hand down on the plate and looked at
him.
Dad, Which God are you talking about? Who should I pray to? To
the God who silently watches the show of our love from the skies?
Or to the God who helps the lambardars against us? You know
what dad, try to look at Emans face once the Panchayat is set and
you will see what your God has put her through. I opened the
door and walked out.
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People had begun to gather in the piazza. Dad reached the piazza
after half an hour along with his relatives and Eman came after
that. I had a look at Eman and my gaze refused to move from her
face. I dont know for how long I stared at her. Someones arm hit
me from behind and brought me back on earth.
Yes, brother Riaz, say what you want to say. Why did you gather
us here? The Panchayats leader addressed my father after
everyone had gathered there.
Sir, first of all I want to apologize for everything that hurt you,
Aslam and rest of the village because of me or my son. All of you
know that my son loves Eman but she is married. I know that
Eman is Aslams wife and what my son is doing is wrong, but I am
still here for the happiness of my son and Eman. Eman and Rizwan
love each other and I want to marry them. About Emans husband
Aslam, I am ready to give him half of my property in exchange for
Eman. I have a land of 4 acres. If Aslam divorces Eman and she
marries my son, I will give 2 acres of my land to Aslam. Two acres
of land is worth 4 million rupees. Aslam had bought Eman in 30k
and I am ready to pay 4 million for my daughter. My dad finished
his speech and sat back on the cot.
So, Aslam, what do you say? You can divorce Eman and take the
land worth 4 millions. The children are victims of love, let them be
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together. They have borne so much pain at this young age already.
Let them be together, mate. Love holds extreme power. Dont fight
them or you will be dissolved in dust. The lambardar placed his
hand on Aslams shoulder so he stood up.
I dont accept it. I will not take divorce from Aslam as I want to
stay with him. Eman stood up before Aslam could speak.
No uncle, not now. Eman will not be sold this time. What is the
difference between you and Aslam? He bought me in 30k and you
are buying me in 4 million. I am still being sold with a little better
price. I am not something to barter and I dont have a price! He
bought a slave and you are also buying a servant for your son.
Eman said in a trembling voice and my father couldnt control his
emotions.
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No daughter, you are not a slave. I will take you to home as my
daughter and I will always keep it that way. Just forgive this father
of yours for once. Dad held Emans hands but she snatched them
away.
She looked at me for a while. Those were a few moments that felt
like centuries.
Rizwan Razi, Eman doesnt love anymore. Love isnt good for
us so Eman has stopped loving. She left my hand and ran to the
lambardars house.
Eman never came to me after that. She had made friends with a
boy in our neighborhood. That boy had a shop in the camp and he
was around 30 years old. Eman began to go to his home at night
secretively. Aslam didnt say anything to her anymore, so she
would go to meet that guy at nights freely. I learnt it through some
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boys in our neighborhood. One night, I followed her and came to
know that it was the truth.
Maybe Eman had replaced me. The next day, I took a gun from
one of my friends and went to that guys shop. He sat there alone
on the other side of the counter. I took out the gun, loaded it and
placed it on to counter. That boy got scared by the weapon.
Naveed, do you know how much I love Eman? You have this gun
on your counter. Pick it up and kill me or else I will kill you.
Naveed, stay away from Eman. I love her and if I saw her at your
house again then I swear to God that none of us will be left alive.
Just stay away from her. I walked out of his shop and returned to
my home.
That boy ended his friendship with Eman but maybe Eman wanted
to hurt herself that way. The whole village, that had come to
respect our love, now thought of Eman as a bad girl.
Eman made friends with another boy after that. Before I could do
something about that, she became friends with another boy and
then another. She would meet all those boys and talk to them. I
was burning on the inside with everything that she did but she
couldnt care less. All she wanted was to take revenge from
herself.
A few months passed like this. Eman had been defamed in the
village. Every single person of the village hated her and looked at
me with sympathy, because the girl for whom I had left my home,
my parents and my siblings, had turned out to be wrong.
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We had our own camp in the village and we used to run our own
business. All of our fields and animals were sold because of that
Eman and my father and brothers had to work for the lambardar
now. They had become someones servant, but the girl for whom
we did everything, had made friends with three boys just like that.
I dont know why but I and my family could never believe it. We
thought of Eman as a virtuous girl. I couldnt think of her as a
deceiver.
I sat at the bank of canal and threw little stones into it. It had
become my routine. I would go to the bank of that stream daily, sit
with my back against one of the trees and spend my days like that.
I would only return home after seeing the darkness setting it.
Someone from the family would come to get me if I got late. Life
had become numb.
Naveed was going to his home from the camp on his bike. He
stopped when he saw me sitting near the stream and came to sit
beside me.
No, Naveed. Mate, I dont have a brain that thinks. All my brain
can think about is Eman. I dont know any other thing. I looked at
the ground.
I remembered that time from a few months back when I had raised
my hand towards her and she had given me her hand without a
question. She had said;
She still didnt ask a question but she refused to go with me.
Eman, leave everything. Lets go home. I know that you still love
me and you are doing everything to get me to hate you. You are
defaming yourself so I could forget about my love and start hating
you. You talk about defamation! Trust me that my love will not
reduce even if you slept with this Naveed. I never loved your body
then what does this fake defamation matter? Come on, my family
will respect you the same way they used to do before everything.
You are still a member of my family. I begged and begged but she
refused to come with me and I returned empty-handed.
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Eman never tried to see Naveed or the other boys at night again.
Naveed and his friends swore in the mosque that Eman was
virtuous so the villagers believed them and began to respect Eman
again.
Razi, sleep in the drawing room tonight. I will come to see you.
Eman saw me when she came out of her house to throw the
garbage, so she came to me.
Sure I hastily stood up. She didnt say anything else as she
turned to go back.
And Razi, how much money do you have? She turned to ask me
and I shuffled my pockets. I had only ten rupees on me so I took
them out.
I have these ten rupees. She laughed when she saw it.
I want one thousand rupees. Can I get that? She asked and I
nodded.
She went back to her home and I went inside mine to ask my dad
for money. He had around 1200 on him so he gave me all of it.
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cruel. Both of you are still children and this world can eat you
alive. Just give some time to your love. Time will heal everything.
Just have patience for a few more years and I will take you
wherever you want to go after that. Dont run away now! I know
that you will get the money from someone else if I didnt give it to
you. You may even run without any money! That is why I will not
refuse you the money. But listen to your poor father! Give us a
little more time. Everything will be alright. I silently took the
money and slipped it into my pocket.
After dinner, everyone went to sleep inside their rooms but I went
to the drawing room. The door opened after an hour and in walked
Eman. She locked the door on the inside and lay on the cot beside
me. She talked a lot that night. She talked about her childhood days
that she had spent in Gujrat and about the days she spent there in
Bahawalpur. We talked the whole night. I kept on listening to her.
Her melodic voice made the wounds in my heart leave in silence. I
enjoyed love for the first time.
Eman, even the villagers salute our love now then what is it that
doesnt let you come near me? Leave everything in the past. We
will lead a happy life together. Come back Eman. She picked up
her head from my chest and sat up.
Razi, my love for you has set in the depths of my soul and its this
love that doesnt let me come near you. Yes, Razi, my heart does
want me to leave everything and come to you, but how can I
destroy your life? How can I have your land given up to Aslam?
Your family is ready to give that land up now, but after a few
years, your brothers will hold you accountable for it. They also
have a right on your fathers land. Where will you eat from if that
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land is gone? I cannot ruin your life along with mine. She
explained.
Razi, I love you and this love keeps forcing me to leave you. I am
too tired. I cant come to your home forever. Yes Razi, I am tired
of walking beside you. I want to go somewhere far away now. I
want to go somewhere away from you. Its the best for you and for
me. Razi, a slaves life is the worst of lives. She stroked my hair.
Razi, I have spent these few years of my life as a slave and trust
me; nothing is more horrible than that. There is nothing more
painful than that. America ended the slavery of this world and
turned it into a heaven but many forms of slavery still exist in
Pakistan. Maybe God created his heaven in America or maybe
America doesnt have the same god as ours. Razi, have you seen
the American statue of liberty? Eman looked lost in her thoughts.
I nodded.
Razi, I think that is the other god. That is so far away at the
other end of this world. I cant go there because I am a slave, but
you can, right? America can give you a better life. You go there
and start your new life from there. Go to that statue and tell it that a
poor slave girl in Pakistan worships it. That she loves it and the
separation from it is killing her. She began to cry.
Eman, I will not leave you. We will make our own heaven in this
village. I wiped her tears.
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No Eman, I will leave with you. We will go wherever you want. I
will take you to America. Both of us will go to America. She
laughed at my speech.
Wow Razi, America isnt so near. A person can have his bones
crushed in the search of America. Not everyone is fortunate
enough to go there, but you are. I am sure you will find your way
there because I am sacrificing my love so you can get a better life.
Eman, I want you, not America. All I have ever wanted is you,
nothing else. I cried. She placed her hand on my mouth.
Razi, slaves are not wanted. I am a slave and its all that has been
written in my fate.
I begged her the whole night but she had decided to leave. Our
family was facing a hard time. We would have starved if the land
was gone, and Eman couldnt allow that. She wanted to see me as
a successful man.
The next morning, I handed her 1200 rupees and had her sit in a
bus to the city.
Thats enough Razi, you can leave now. I will go by myself from
here. I stood beside her seat in the bus.
Eman, I will work hard. I could feed you twice a day, couldnt I?
Please, let me come with you. I pleaded in front of her.
Alright Eman, you can leave if you want to leave and please try to
forgive my father! You thought of him as your father. He was your
father but he tore your clothes and wounded your soul. Both of us
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hate that father of ours. Everyone is capable of doing something
wrong, and what my father did was wrong. Try to forgive him and
if you ever decide to come back, you will find me here, waiting for
you. I will wait for you for the rest of my life. I will come for you
from any corner of this world if you call me. My ears will always
strive for your voice. I dont care with whom I spend my life but I
want to die in your arms. So do return! No matter how much time
passes. My eyes will always be looking for you. I climbed down
from the bus and went to my house.
Eman never returned. She had left forever. I was left alone in the
village. I would talk to my father but there was always a hesitation
between us. Nobody talked to me in a bad way in my house
anymore. They all joked and tried to get me back towards life but I
didnt want to laugh anymore. I spent my days sitting in the same
spot. The family members tried everything that they could to cheer
me up but failed. Finally they left me to heal by myself.
Dad, I want to see Emans father. I want to see the man who sold
a gem for 30k. Dad, what kind of a man could he be? I said
painfully.
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We caught a bus to Bahawalpur at night and we reached her village
in the morning. We asked people about her house and finally
reached a 4 marla house which had little walls made of mud and a
single room in it. There wasnt a main door for this house but a
curtain was draped at the entrance. Eman was born in that home.
Her little laughter must have echoed around here. She must have
spent her childhood playing in that yard.
An old and weak man smoked while sitting in the middle of that
house on a broken cot. He was Emans father. It looked like he
hadnt taken a bath in the past couple of months. He smiled a little
when he saw us and his yellow teeth made an appearance.
Come on Chaudary sahib, please sit. What made you visit me?
He stood up when he saw us.
I reached forward and hugged that feeble old man. Eman was the
daughter of that drug-addict and I could still smell her fragrance on
him. I held him to me and cried for a long time. Brother Tariq
separated me from him after I felt that no more tears were left in
my eyes. I stood aside silently and looked at him.
Uncle, are you Emans father? Is she your daughter? I asked that
person.
He had never seen Aslam before. Aslam knew about his village but
he had never met him in person. What kind of relation was it that
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he couldnt even recognize his son-in-law? He had sold his
daughter to someone else from our village and that person had her
married to Aslam.
Uncle, Eman left her home and went somewhere. She doesnt live
in our village anymore. I looked at him as he looked down in
disappointment.
Days passed just like that for three years. A marriage proposal
came for Irum from another village when she turned sixteen. He
was a 30 years old dark-toned man whose first wife was dead. He
had been alone for around five years after his wifes death. He had
seen Irum at a wedding ceremony. He liked her so he sent a
proposal for her.
Ten huge packets of sweets were placed in our yard that day. A
beautiful white cow also stood there. I got happy when I saw that
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cow after coming back from work. We hadnt been able to buy a
big animal despite working hard for three years.
Even after selling all our animals, we were forced to take a lot of
loan to get my father out of the jail. The police had let him go in
ten days but we had become bankrupt in those days. Now all the
money that we brothers earned was used to return that loan. We
had returned all the money after three years and had also managed
to buy some goats. Dad had begun cultivating in his fields and we
were finally becoming stable.
Mom, when did you people buy a cow? Dad sat on a cot in front
of me but I still avoided addressing him.
Son Rizwan, someone from another village has asked for Irums
hand have you heard about Chaudary Ahmad? Its his only son
Hamid. You know about Hamid. He is a decent boy and sole
owner of 30 acres of land. He doesnt have any siblings. He has a
good family and I am sure that our Irum will be happy there. They
have sent these sweets and this cow with the marriage proposal.
Dad placed his hand on my shoulder but I tossed it away.
He is not married. His first wife died five years ago. So what if he
is 14 years older than Irum? Son, age or complexion doesnt matter
for a man. What matters is his income and decency. Hamid is
decent and an owner of 30 acres of land. Who else will marry your
sister if not him? He likes her so he will keep her happy. We cant
dream of a prince charming for her when we cant even feed her
properly.
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Brother Tariq caught the cows rope and went to the camp with my
father. They tied the cow at our camp at night and came back home
after setting up its food.
I stopped Irum when she came to ask me for dinner that night. I
had her sit on the cot beside me and patted her head fondly.
Irum, are you happy with this marriage? Things might have been
different had I not fallen in love with Eman. You might have
gotten a better proposal. The calamity of my love has destroyed
your life.
She was about to leave the room when she stopped and asked me
in a low voice;
Brother, I also miss her a lot. I pray that she be happy wherever
she is. She turned and left the room.
Irum was married within a month and she left our house to go to
her husbands in another village. They gave us four more cows.
Dad kept refusing but Chaudary Ahmed became cross so my dad
accepted those cows as well. Our family was in a much better
condition then. Irum was also happy in her house.
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happy. I decided to go America after I was tired of living in that
village. We were having our breakfast that morning when I said it
while cutting my flatbread;
It takes millions to go there and people destroy their lives but still
cant reach there. Son, if going to America was that easy, the
whole world would have been sitting in America right now. Its on
the other end of this world and there is a huge sea in between. You
can never go to America no matter how hard you try.
All I need is 500 rupees dad. You will see that I will go to
America. I will make that land of Emans dreams shine with my
prayers. I will fulfill Emans dream. I walked into the yard. I
hugged everyone and apologized to them before walking out of my
house. I crossed the street and went to Aslams house.
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Uncle Aslam, I am going to America. I am leaving this house. I
dont know if we will ever meet again. Please try to forgive me. I
have hurt you a lot. Aslam hugged me and cried.
Razi! Yes, Razi! Eman used to call you Razi, right? So I will call
you Razi as well. Both of you loved each other. You were young
and you had climbed all those great levels of love. The villagers
still praise your love. Have you ever thought that this old Aslam
could also fall in love with Eman? Yes Razi, I also loved Eman. I
probably loved her more than you ever could but my love was
worthless since I was old and poor and Eman was in love with you.
But I had loved her and I will be there between your love and hers
on the day of resurrection. I will ask for her love from God and
then I will see who He grants her with. He cried so I patted his
shoulder, wiped his tears and consoled him.
Uncle Aslam, you talk about asking for Eman from God but I
have stopped asking anything from God. You talk about the
apocalypse uncle, this is the apocalypse. I dont care about heaven
or hell if Eman isnt there. Everything is meaningless without
Eman. I apologized to Aslam and began my journey out of that
village.
I walked towards the bus station once I was out of the village. I
had walked for about ten minutes when a bus came near me from
behind. I gestured that bus to stop and climbed on its roof once it
had stopped.
The bus continued its journey towards the city. I looked back at the
village and tears blurred my sight. I was looking at that deserted
village of Bahawalpur for the last time. It was the village that
displayed Emans love in its each element. I had spent each
moment of my life drowning in my love for Eman in that village.
That village, which was an enemy of my and Emans love in the
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past, now admired and valued our love, but it had become too
difficult to live there without Eman.
My father and brothers knew that I would have gone crazy had I
stayed in that village with Emans memories. That was why they
didnt try to stop me from leaving. I was going to turn Emans
dream into a reality. I was going to America. I was going to that
statue that Eman worshipped, which showed people the right way
with a book and a torch in its hands. I had started my search for it
with a 500pkr worth note in my pocket.
Come on sir, get down. The bus to Karachi stands there. After
hearing the conductors heavy voice, I climbed down from the roof
of bus and went to sit in the bus to Karachi.
I was going to Karachi, from where I was going to search for more
ways to go to America. I had begun this strange journey to turn
Emans dreams into a reality.
To be continued
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