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FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH

Coursework portfolio
Ordoñez, Máximo
AR512
0005

Assignment 1: Argumentative piece

DRAFT

Smoking and consuming alcohol are as bad as any other type of drugs
like marihuana or cocaine. Smocking, is very bad to our health, for example, it
can bring you lungs cancer and also it makes you to less the form, because
when you run you get tired more quickly. Then, alcohol is also very bad for your
health, it can bring you cirrhosis and it drunk you, and so you can easily loose
control of yourself and maybe, you can fight with other people without any
sense, or you can crash in a car, so it is very dangerous. The only difference
that this two substances have compared with the others drugs, are that this two
are legalized, so it is easier to find them, and people don’t think that they are so
bad and so they don’t look bad at you if you smoke cigarettes or you drink
alcohol, as they look to the drug-addicts.
Firstly, I would like to talk about the terrible consequences of consuming
cigarettes. Many scientific, had proved that smoking can lead to asthma and
emphysema. Asthma is a chronic (long-term) disease that makes it hard to
breathe and emphysema is a chronic lung disease that can get worse over time,
this mean that this little apparently innocent thing, will bring to all smokers many
difficulties to breath and also this will have as influence that the person will not
feel well. Lots of other diseases are also caused by the cigarette, such as lung
cancer, emphysema, heart disease, and ulcers. This lasts have long term
effects, but this don’t mean that they are not so serious, this are the more
serious ones, because as they have long term effects, …. is very difficult to heal
them. Lung cancer, kill more person than any other cancer, and this is because
first, millions of people smoke, and second because the cancer starts on the
lung but then it spread to the blood and so it is distributed to all the organs in
the body so it’s very difficult to stop it. Another consequence of consuming
cigarettes, not so serious but very bad view and that affects to our appearance,
is that smoking leave the teeth with a yellow colour that make and effect as if
the smoker hadn’t brushed his teeth. Also, smoking is a major cause of oral
cancer, accounting for 92% of these cancers in men and 61% in women. The
increased risk attributed to smoking is of 27 fold in man and 6 fold in women. As
with laryngeal cancer, alcohol consumption increased the risk of oral cancer.
Then, smocking has also consequences to the no smokers that have everyday
contact with people who smoke. For example, little babies inside the mothers
who smoke, have a huge probability of dying of “Sudden Infant Death
Syndrome”. Also, people that for example work in an office, and one employer
smoke near them, the other non smokers employees can be affect by the fume
exhaled by the smoker one. This is called second-hand smoke. I’m very use to
be with people who smoke because here it’s very common. But luckily, two
month ago, in my city (Córdoba, Argentina) it had risk a law that forbids smoke
inside public places such as restaurants or shopping malls. This is a very
advantageous because firstly, people non smoker will not inhale the fume of

1
FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH
Coursework portfolio
Ordoñez, Máximo
AR512
0005

other, and also because I think that smokers will smoke less because if they
have to go outside to smoke, they will prefer to remain with the desire.
Alcohol has also lot of bad consequences for us. Drinking, if it is
moderates, it isn’t bad, experts says that a cup of wine per day if good for our
health, but if you drink with out control, you will star to act in a different way,
more violently and with out understanding everything you’re doing. One of the
principal causes of crashes with cars is alcohol. Young people looks as if they
don’t know the fatal consequences of drinking and driving. Although they had
drink, they mostly admitted driving a car after this. Experts says that although
only the 7% of people from 15 to 20 years old are the ones who drives, they
represent approximately the 13% of people evolved in fatal traffic accidents,
and in most of them, alcohol is involved. Also, alcohol open the doors of
sexuality, this if because the people young don’t know very well what they are
doing and so it is very probable that they will have sex if the occasion is
present. Then, alcohol can produce also cirrhosis that is an infection in the
stomach of the person. This can be very serious if it isn’t treated in a good and
quickly way.
To conclude, if you are thinking about smoking or drinking, think twice because
smoking is bad for you. Smoking can cause cancer, emphysema, gum disease,
and many more and drinking can cause you fatal crashes react violently, have
sex and cirrhosis. Smoking kills more people than any other cancer combined
also including aids and alcohol kill more people in the routes that any other
thing. I hope you, the smoker and drinker, learned something from this.

Very weak grammar and vocabulary. Also, you need to organize your ideas into
better paragraphing.

Cigarettes and alcohol

Smoking and consuming alcohol are as bad as consuming any other type of drug
like marihuana or cocaine. Smoking, is very bad for our health, for example, it can
cause lung cancer and also it makes lose energy, because when you run you get tired
more quickly. Then, alcohol is also very bad for your health, it can cirrhosis and it
provokes many effects in the person that is consuming that, and so you can easily lose
control of yourself and maybe, you can fight with other people without any sense, or
you can crash on a car, so it is very dangerous. The only difference that these two
substances have compared with the others drugs, are that these two are legalized, so it is
easier to find them, and people don’t think that they are so bad and so they don’t look
bad at you if you smoke cigarettes or you drink alcohol, as they look the drug-addicts.
Firstly, doctors are concerned about the terrible consequences of consuming
cigarettes. Many scientific, have proved that smoking can lead to asthma and
emphysema. Asthma is a chronic (long-term) disease that makes it hard to breathe and
emphysema is a chronic lung disease that can get worse over time. This means that this
little apparently innocent vice, will bring many difficulties to breathe to all smokers and
also this will have as consequence that the person will not feel well. Lots of other
diseases are also caused by cigarettes, such as lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease,
and ulcers. This lasts have long term effects, but this doesn’t really mean that they are

2
FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH
Coursework portfolio
Ordoñez, Máximo
AR512
0005

not so serious, these are the more serious ones, because as they have long term effects,
and is very difficult to heal them. Lung cancer kills more persons than any other cancer,
and this is because first, millions of people smoke, and second because cancer starts in
the lung but then it spreads to the blood and so it is distributed to all the organs in the
body so it is (no contractions in formal style) very difficult to stop it. Another
consequence of consuming cigarettes, not so serious but very bad seen and that affects
to our appearance, is that smoking leave the teeth with a yellow colour that provokes an
effect as if the smoker hadn’t brushed his teeth. Also, smoking is a major cause of oral
cancer, accounting for 92% of these cancers in men and 61% in women. The increased
risk to smoking is of 27 fold in man and 6 fold in women. As with laryngeal cancer,
alcohol consumption increased the risk of oral cancer. Then, smocking has also
consequences to the no smokers that have everyday contact with people who smoke.
For example, little babies inside the mothers who smoke, have a huge probability of
dying of “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome”. Also, people that for example work in an
office, and one employer smoke near them, the other non smokers employees can be
affect by the fume exhaled by the smoker one. This is called second-hand smoke. I’m
very use to be with people who smoke because here it’s very common. But luckily, two
month ago, in my city (Córdoba, Argentina) it had risk a law that forbids smoke inside
public places such as restaurants or shopping malls. This is a very advantageous because
firstly, people non smoker will not inhale the fume of other, and also because I think
that smokers will smoke less because if they have to go outside to smoke, they will
prefer to remain with the desire.
Alcohol has also lot of bad consequences for us. Drinking, if it is moderates, it
isn’t bad, experts says that a cup of wine per day if good for our health, but if you drink
with out control, you will star to act in a different way, more violently and with out
understanding everything you’re doing. One of the principal causes of crashes with cars
is alcohol. Young people looks as if they don’t know the fatal consequences of drinking
and driving. Although they had drink, they mostly admitted driving a car after this.
Experts says that although only the 7% of people from 15 to 20 years old are the ones
who drives, they represent approximately the 13% of people evolved in fatal traffic
accidents, and in most of them, alcohol is involved. Also, alcohol open the doors of
sexuality, this if because the people young don’t know very well what they are doing
and so it is very probable that they will have sex if the occasion is present. Then,
alcohol can produce also cirrhosis that is an infection in the stomach of the person. This
can be very serious if it isn’t treated in a good and quickly way.
To conclude, if you are thinking about smoking or drinking, think twice because
smoking is bad for you. Smoking can cause cancer, emphysema, gum disease, and many
more and drinking can cause you fatal crashes react violently, have sex and cirrhosis.
Smoking kills more people than any other cancer combined also including aids and
alcohol kill more people in the routes that any other thing. I hope you, the smoker and
drinker, learned something from this.

Still quite weak in expression. 15 out of 40

Assignment 2: Descriptive – Narrative - Creative

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FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH
Coursework portfolio
Ordoñez, Máximo
AR512
0005

My autobiography
By Paul “ Bono” Hewson.
My real name is Paul Hewson and I was borned in Ballymun, Dublin. My mother, who
was called Iris, was Protestant, and my father, Bob, was a Roman Catholic. When
everybody asked me whether I would call myself a Catholic or Protestant, I said that I
always felt like I was sitting on the fence. My mother died of a brain hemorrhage at her
father's funeral, when I was only fourteen years old. Many of our songs, especially from
the early albums ("I Will Follow", "Out of Control", "Tomorrow"), focus on this part of my
life.

I went to Mount Temple Comprehensive School, an Ecumenical school, which was the
first one of these in Dublin. During my childhood and adolescence, me and my friends
were part of a surrealist street gang called Lypton Village, where one of the rituals was
nickname-giving. I had several names: first, I was "Steinvic von Huyseman", then just
"Huyseman", then "Houseman", then "Bon Murray", "Bono Vox of O'Connell Street",
and finally just "Bono".

"Bono Vox" is an alteration of Bona Vox, a brand of hearing aid. The phrase in Latin
translates to "good voice". "Bono Vox" was the name of a hearing aid shop they
regularly passed on North Earl Street, just off O'Connell Street, in Dublin. I was
nicknamed "Bono Vox" after the shop by my friend Gavin Friday because I sang so
loudly he seemed to be singing for the deaf. Initially, I did not like my name. However,
when I learned it translated to "good voice", and I accepted it.

In the year ‘76, I responded to an advertisement by fellow student Larry Mullen, Jr. to
form a band, as did Dave Evans (also known as The Edge), brother Dick Evans (who
soon left the band), and Adam Clayton. The remaining four formed a band named
'Feedback', before changing the name to 'The Hype' and finally on U2. Initially I sang,
played guitar and wrote songs. As The Edge became a better guitarist, I was relegated
to vocals only, but although this, I often play acoustic guitar and harmonica.

I married my girlfriend, Alison "Ali" Stewart, on 21 August 1982, in an Anglican


ceremony at a chapel on the Guinness family estate. My stint in U2 and relationship
with Ali began around the same time. We have four children: Jordan who was borned
on 1989, Memphis Eve who was borned on 1991, Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q who
was borned on1999 and John Abraham who came to the world on 2001.

Following the Enniskillen bombing in 1987, several newspapers claimed Provisional


IRA paramilitaries had put I on a hit-list for my "fuck the revolution" speech following the
bombing that left 11 dead and 63 injured on 8 November 1987. I had been advised to
cut my on-stage outburst from the Rattle and Hum film but it stayed. Some papers
suggested the film's charity London premiere on 31 October would have to be
cancelled. It wasn't, and U2 all turned up, although our attempts to busk in Leicester
Square were prevented by crowds and police.

In 1992, together with U2's guitarist The Edge, I bought and refurbished Dublin's two-
star 70-bedroom Clarence Hotel and converted it into a five-star 49-bedroom hotel,

4
FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH
Coursework portfolio
Ordoñez, Máximo
AR512
0005

which quickly gained a reputation as one of the most stylish (and expensive) hotels in
the city.

I am almost never seen in public without my traditionall sunglasses. I have said in a


Rolling Stone interview that the reason is that i has very sensitive eyes to light. If
somebody takes my photograph, I will see the flash for the rest of the day. My right eye
swells up. I've a blockage there, so that my eyes go red a lot. So it's part vanity, its part
privacy, and part sensitivity.

I am on the board of the Elevation Partners private equity firm which attempted to
purchase Eidos Interactive in 2005 and I have since gone on to invest in other
entertainment businesses.

This summer, I have made a travell to Brazil, Chile and Argentina, and there I had
played for thousands of people. There I felt really confortable and very well received
and I will like to return when I can.

This is much better writing, though too factual and at times it sounds like a mere
listing of events. 19 out of 40.

Assignment 3: Reading and writing

“Love letter to the earth”

In the text “Love letter to the earth” there is shown very well
the feeling of love and protection that the red man’s community have
to his land.
This text is a letter that writes a person from the red man’s
community, probably the Indian Chief, to the great chief in
Washington, USA. In this letter, there is expressed lot of feelings that
I will stand out. When it begins, the text says that the USA wants to
buy the land of the red man. This first line obviously shows us the
feeling of expanding and of power that this creates. Then, it
continues saying:
“For we know that if we do not sell, the white man will come with
guns and take ours land”
There we can perceive that this Indian people, are almost obliged to
sell their land, because if not, the USA will start a war against them
and they will not only loose their land, but also they will loose lot of

5
FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH
Coursework portfolio
Ordoñez, Máximo
AR512
0005

innocent people that will be kill in the battle of saving their land. So
that, I think that this is a very difficult decision and so they would
have to choose very carefully. Then, if we continue reading, we can
see the “innocence” perhaps of the red man, or the “ridicules” of the
white man. The “innocence” because nowadays, lots of wars are
created because of territory. For example, the war of the Malvinas
Islands, that was between Argentina and England. This happened
when two little island in the south of Argentina was taken by the
English people, and so, lots of young argentines and English people
were killed. I also could say “ridicules” to the American people there
because the land is for everybody, provided they do not pollute or
destroy the history of the place, the red people have no problem of
letting them to be there. I can imagine the one who wrote this
thinking the ridicules that the sell could be sell, they thing that it is
impossible to sell a thing so important and precious. There we can
really notice the difference of this people that lives without
technology and it is all the time in contact with plants and animals,
and all the natural things as rivers or mountain, and with the others
that live in the city all full of noise and pollution and with out fresh air
or water.
Then, there is a part in the text where describes the water:
The shining water that moves in the stream and rivers is not just
water, but the blood of our ancestors.”
Here we can imagine the way in which water is seen not only as the
freshest water and the most natural, but also as full of history, they
can’t sell that land knowing that there all the history of the red man
had happened.
After, there are two lines that say:
“You must teach your children that it is sacred and that each ghostly
reflection in the clean water of the lake tells of events and memories
in the life of my people.”
And:
“You must teach your children that the ground beneath their feet is
the ashes of our grandfathers.”
Here we can also notice how does this Indian people concede theirs
land and what should happen if they have to sell it. We also can see
how this community loves their land when it says “the air is precious
to the red man”. They really have a great feeling of love to their land.
Then another phrase I would like to rescue is “[…] the earth is our
mother” and so they treat it as if it is their mother.

6
FIRST LANGUAGE ENGLISH
Coursework portfolio
Ordoñez, Máximo
AR512
0005

To conclude, I would like to say that this people that don’t have
nothing technological, or big block of flats, or luxurious international
hotels, appreciate the best things of the earth, the natural
environment, and perhaps, we should start to be a little bit more like
them and start to appreciate our land as our mother or as a gift from
God.
Too weak in expression and organization. 4 out of 10

Writing 17
Reading 4
Total mark 21

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