The Occasional

Bachelor Cookbook
A pitiful cookbook by Steve Doty
Lets face it. We all know we need basic nutrition, but do not
want the hassle of cooking and making a big production when it is just
us.

The Occasional Bachelor Cook Book gives you

Helpful advice with a dash of humor and no sugar coating.
The courage to abandon the drive-through window.
One-pan recipes that are easy and cheap when youre alone.
Tasty recipes when you cook solo or for others.

The Occasional Bachelor Cook Book is for anyone

fending for themselves in the kitchen - bachelors, young adults
moving out of their parents house, college students, or that week
when your spouse is away. Youll learn that eating well saves money
and isnt hard. With a little practice, you can also cook some
interesting meals for others.
 The Occasional Bachelor Cookbook
Second Printing
Copyright 2012 by Steve Doty

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted
in any form by any means including electronically without express permission in writing
by the author, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages for the purpose of a
book review.

While every attempt has been made to be accurate, the author disclaims any liability for
errors, omissions, consequences or indigestion arising from of the use of information
contained in this book.

Thank You!
Steve Doty
Colorado Springs, CO USA
 Table of Contents
(V) = Vegetarian Option
(2m) = Two Minutes or Less

INTRODUCTION ............................................................................... 1

GETTING STARTED ........................................................................ 2

Nutrition ................................................................................................. 2
Whats Wrong with Eating the Same Thing Every Day? ..................................2
Skipping Breakfast.....................................................................................2
Fiber ........................................................................................................2
Vegetable Options ..................................................................................... 3
Portions (Bird or Wolf) ................................................................................ 3
Vitamins ................................................................................................... 3
Sodium and Other Evil Food ........................................................................4
Oil and Grease...........................................................................................4
Rule of Halves ........................................................................................... 5
Drinks ......................................................................................................5

Gear ........................................................................................................ 6
Cooking tools ........................................................................................... 6
Mess Kit (Dishes) ....................................................................................... 7
Coated Pans Thank You NASA ................................................................. 8
The Stove ................................................................................................ 8
Microwave - More than Just for Popcorn ...................................................... 9

Food Storage ......................................................................................... 10

Canned Food ........................................................................................... 10
Pre-Packaged Food .................................................................................. 10
Perishable Food ....................................................................................... 10
 Throwing Things Away ............................................................................. 10
The Freezer ............................................................................................. 11
Zip Bags and Binder Clips ......................................................................... 12
Bugs ...................................................................................................... 12
Does Home Cooking Save Money? .............................................................. 13
The Grocery Store .................................................................................... 13
Dont Shop Hungry................................................................................... 14
Reading Labels ........................................................................................ 14
Flexibility and Your Wallet ........................................................................ 14
Food Marketing Lies ................................................................................. 15
Buying in Quantity ................................................................................... 16
Spices .................................................................................................... 16
Ketchup and other Condiments .................................................................. 17
Law of Potatoes ...................................................................................... 17
Washing Equipment ................................................................................. 18
Paper Towels Please ............................................................................. 19
Aluminum Foil ......................................................................................... 19
Spray Cleaners ........................................................................................ 19
The Sink is your Friend.............................................................................. 20
Soaking .................................................................................................. 21
Smells .................................................................................................... 22

Other .................................................................................................... 22
Days off ................................................................................................. 22

COOKING FOR YOURSELF .......................................................... 24

Single Meal Recipes ................................................................................ 25

Breakfasts .............................................................................................. 25
Oatmeal in Disguise ............................................................................................ 25
Fruit and Fiber (2 m) ............................................................................................ 25
Oriental Noodle Souffl ...................................................................................... 26
Farmer Fry ........................................................................................................... 26
 Elbow Noodle Omelet ......................................................................................... 26
French Toast ........................................................................................................ 27
Milk Toast ............................................................................................................ 27
Boiled Egg and Sausage ...................................................................................... 28
No Blender Orange Julius (2 m) ........................................................................... 28
Meadow Muffin (2 m)........................................................................................... 28
Potato Pancakes.................................................................................................. 29
Double Decker Biscuits ........................................................................................ 29
Cracker Omelette ................................................................................................ 29
Lunches .................................................................................................. 30
Grilled Tuna ......................................................................................................... 30
Monte Cristo ........................................................................................................ 30
Fried Baloney ....................................................................................................... 31
Indian Chili ........................................................................................................... 31
Succotash Slam (2 m) .......................................................................................... 31
Oriental Noodle Soup with Bait .......................................................................... 32
Dagwood Sandwich (2 m) .................................................................................... 32
Chili Dog .............................................................................................................. 32
Cuban Sandwich .................................................................................................. 33
PB and Pickle Relish Sandwich............................................................................ 33
Cobb Salad ........................................................................................................... 34
Vitamin Chili ........................................................................................................ 35
Zippo Soup .......................................................................................................... 36
Cheap Chinese (2 m) ............................................................................................ 36
Cheap Mexican (2 m) ........................................................................................... 36
Rueben James ..................................................................................................... 37
Dinners .................................................................................................. 38
Sausage and Kraut Nuke ..................................................................................... 38
Bachelor Stew ..................................................................................................... 38
Salad with Fake Crab Meat .................................................................................. 39
Tortilla Pizza ........................................................................................................ 39
Arnolds Dumpling ............................................................................................... 40
Tuna Cake ............................................................................................................ 40
Darlas Wings ....................................................................................................... 41
 Rice-N-Stuff ......................................................................................................... 41
Steamed Stuff ..................................................................................................... 42
Smothered Pork Chop ......................................................................................... 42
Smokehouse Oriental Noodle Soup .................................................................... 43
Beanie Weenies ................................................................................................... 43
Thanksgiving Dinner Anytime ............................................................................ 44
Hot Dog Wraps .................................................................................................... 44
Potato Toppers .................................................................................................... 45
Cube Steak .......................................................................................................... 46
Corn Dog (2 m) ..................................................................................................... 46
Succotash Omelet ............................................................................................... 47
Oriental Noodle Supreme ................................................................................... 47
Mexican Meatball Sub (2 m) ................................................................................ 48
Emergency Meatball Sub (2m) ............................................................................ 48
Lunchmeat Peas (2 m) ......................................................................................... 49
Cold Casserole (2 m) ............................................................................................ 49
Half Soup ............................................................................................................. 49
Poor Boy Spaghetti (2 m) .................................................................................... 49
Quick Rueben Sandwich...................................................................................... 50
Instant Burger and Fries ...................................................................................... 50
Pot Pie Deluxe ..................................................................................................... 50
V8 and ............................................................................................................. 51
Dans Burritos ...................................................................................................... 51
Emergency Rations (2 m) .................................................................................... 52

Cook Once, Eat for Several Days .............................................................. 53

Meat Loaf............................................................................................................. 53
Clam Chowder-Manhattan .................................................................................. 54
Clam Chowder-New England .............................................................................. 54
Hamburger Pie .................................................................................................... 55
Beanie Weenies, Again........................................................................................ 55
Hawaiian Volcano Chili ........................................................................................ 56
Pizza Noodle Pie .................................................................................................. 57
Corned Beef and Cabbage ................................................................................... 58
 (V) Western Spaghetti ......................................................................................... 58
EZ Turkey Pot Pie ................................................................................................ 59
Shepherds (Cow) Pie ........................................................................................... 60
Picadillo ............................................................................................................... 60
Tamale Casserole ................................................................................................ 61
Clam Sauce on Fettuccine ................................................................................... 61
Skillet Lasagna .................................................................................................... 62
Bachelor Pie ......................................................................................................... 63
Mandarin Chicken and Rice ................................................................................. 64
Power Stew ......................................................................................................... 65
Tostadas .............................................................................................................. 66
Mild Chili .............................................................................................................. 67
Meatball Casserole .............................................................................................. 67

Snacks and Sides .................................................................................... 68

Cold Cereal The Ultimate Fast Food (2 m) ........................................................ 68
Fried Tortilla (2 m) ............................................................................................... 68
Tuna Salad on Crackers ....................................................................................... 68
Canned Corn with Salsa (2 m) .............................................................................. 69
Canned Fruit with Free Juice (2 m) ...................................................................... 69
Trail Mix (Gorp) .................................................................................................... 69
Gelatin Fruit Glom ............................................................................................... 69
Waldorf Salad for One ......................................................................................... 70
Faux French Bread (2 m) ...................................................................................... 70
Fried Pastry ......................................................................................................... 70
Corn on the Cob - Microwave .............................................................................. 71
Green Beans ala Tomato Sauce (2 m) ................................................................. 71
Pickled Corn (2 m) ................................................................................................ 71
Pepper Jelly Crackers (2 m) .................................................................................. 72
Popcorn Duds ...................................................................................................... 73
Bachelor Pizza Bites ............................................................................................ 74
Corn Torta Snacker .............................................................................................. 74
Spiced Apple Cider (2 m) ..................................................................................... 74
Instant Kebobs (2m) ............................................................................................ 74
Desserts ................................................................................................ 75
Cracker Cobbler (2 m) .......................................................................................... 75
Apple Pie for One................................................................................................. 75
Crackers and Frosting (2 m) ................................................................................. 75
Maraschino Cherry Ding (2 m) ............................................................................. 76
Strawberry Ding (2 m) ......................................................................................... 76
Peanut Butter and Honey Spooners (2 m) .......................................................... 76
No-Bake Apple Pie .............................................................................................. 76
Muffin Dump .........................................................................................................77
Popcorn Balls - sort of (2 m) .................................................................................77
Cherry Soda (2 m) .................................................................................................77
Termites (2 m) ......................................................................................................77
Halloween Peanuts (2 m) .....................................................................................77
SMaybes (2 m) .................................................................................................... 78
Haystacks (2 m) ................................................................................................... 78
Moms Apple Pie Almost (2 m) ............................................................................ 78
Instant Pudding Bachelors Last Resort ........................................................... 79

Special Occasions ................................................................................... 80

Drive-Through Side Salad ................................................................................... 80
Thanksgiving for One: The Cornish Game Hen .................................................. 80
Deviled Eggs ........................................................................................................ 80
(V) Meat Night Off - Noodles and Spaghetti Sauce ............................................ 81
Foil Chicken ......................................................................................................... 81
Campfire Fish ....................................................................................................... 82
Pumpkin Pie - No Milk ......................................................................................... 82

Multi-Meal Deals .................................................................................... 83

Deli Chicken ......................................................................................................... 83
Drive-Through Food Specials .............................................................................. 83
COOKING FOR OTHERS ............................................................... 84

Meatball Subs ...................................................................................................... 85

Pan Fried Burritos ................................................................................................ 86
Breakfast Bake .................................................................................................... 87
Smoked Sausage Kabobs .................................................................................... 87
Sausage Peach Balls ............................................................................................ 88
(V) Salt and Pepper Burritos ................................................................................ 88
Crab Pasta Salad.................................................................................................. 89
Stir-Fry ................................................................................................................. 89
(V) Spinach Lasagna No Meat / No Cheese ...................................................... 90
Chili Spuds ........................................................................................................... 91
Sloppy Joe-stadas ............................................................................................... 91
(V) Vegetarian Spaghetti..................................................................................... 92
Waldorf Salad ...................................................................................................... 92
Hamburgers through the Garden ........................................................................ 93
Jalapeno Corn Bread ........................................................................................... 93
Stuffed Bell Peppers ............................................................................................ 94
EZ Cherry Cheesecake ......................................................................................... 94
Hawaiian Ham ..................................................................................................... 95
Zucchini Bread ..................................................................................................... 96
Pizza Chili Mac ..................................................................................................... 96
Hell Raiser Pineapple Chickens ........................................................................... 97
Berry French Toast Bake ..................................................................................... 98
Pats Dump Cake ................................................................................................. 98
Apple Pie.............................................................................................................. 99
Healthy Muffins ................................................................................................... 99
Taco Meat .......................................................................................................... 100
Egg Salad ........................................................................................................... 100
Enchiladas.......................................................................................................... 101
Cheap Chili ......................................................................................................... 101
Titanic Leftovers ................................................................................................ 102
Introduction
The usual definition of a bachelor is an unmarried man, Bach-e-lor
including the variety that has kids on an alternating
weekly schedule..the ping-pong family. Originally Noun
written for these unfortunate souls and the kids who need
to eat too, the concepts apply equally to anyone on their A person on their
own, including women who arent too picky, young adults own, often clueless
in their first apartment, and college students on a budget. about cooking

The focus of this book is food prepared at home. Things like a granola bar for breakfast,
canned stew for dinner, or eating at someone elses house need no explaining.
Likewise, this book skips over one-can meals, frozen dinners, gas station food, and
restaurant food all these are givens.

Rules for Solo Cooking with This Cookbook

This cookbook makes the general distinction that cooking does not necessarily involve
heat, but must include at least two ingredients (Rule #1).

Very few bachelors will make a big production out of cooking and those that do are
unlikely to do it on a regular basis. Thus, the successful bachelor diet is one that is simple
enough to reduce the barriers and excuses behind not cooking at all. Hence, good
bachelor recipes will not require more than one pan (Rule #2).

Page 1
Getting Started
Nutrition
Whats Wrong with Eating the Same Thing Every Day?
Food pyramids remind us which things to eat sparingly, which should be no surprise.
Obviously, a steady diet of bacon and chocolate bars is a poor choice. If we eat
everything on the pyramid every day, we will become blimps.

It is not good to eat the same thing every day forever and here is why. The formula for a
scientifically perfect diet is unknown, which is a great argument for a varied diet. Eating
different things fills in nutrition gaps, sometimes in ways we dont understand. So when
you add a vegetable with your meal, switch between a few favorites instead of
just.corn. Most people prefer a variety anyway, but now you have a logical reason for
it. If you want to make a pot of chili and have chili each night during the week, thats
finejust vary the other meals and toss in a vegetable with dinner. Get it?

Skipping Breakfast
Not a great idea. Think of the word.Break Fast. Its already been 7 or 8 hours with no
food and you want to add 5 more hours to it? Get real. Eat something.

Fiber
Fiber makes you fart. Fiber is good, therefore farting is good. Thats all I have to say
about fiber.

Page 2
Vegetable Options
You can get your veggies without a lot of hassle! Do you need umpteen servings of
vegetables each day? No, but skipping them altogether is a mistake. A huge bowl of
vegetables is a great way to counteract a junk food binge.
Canned ones are fine, but heavy on salt. Some have 50% less salt, but the no-salt
ones are awful.
Fresh veggies come ready to go in bags, for microwaving, but are two servings -
before microwaving, take half out and close up with a binder clip for another day.
V8 juice works too, especially the low salt kind. One can, youre done.

Portions (Bird or Wolf)

Doctors would prefer us to eat like birds small portions many times a day. Most of us
were raised on three meals a day and taught to gorge ourselves at Thanksgiving. I dont
think two meals are enough something about blood sugar and feeling spacey. Its OK
to pig out once in awhile, maybe a few times a year, but dont make a habit out of it.
Being overweight is definitely a health risk factor, and a mate deterrent.

Vitamins
You can go down this road as far as your imagination and checkbook will take you. A
multi-vitamin with a balanced diet should be all you need this is where the varied diet
comes in. Do not believe for a minute that extra vitamins can counteract a poor diet; I
wish it were that easy. For any of you that dont drink milk, like me, calcium pills are
something else to choke down; these also come in chewable form if you prefer to chew
your chalk. Either way, I say take em if you dont drink milk.

You do not need to get all your vitamins in one meal, or one bowl of cereal. Duh.

Page 3
Sodium and Other Evil Food
Food sellers use salt to increase appeal of food this increases sales at the expense of our
health, like tobacco. Men are cursed with high-pressure circulatory systems and sodium
just makes it worse. A doctor may say to limit sodium to 1000 mg per day this is tough
when using packaged food. Scanning a few labels will quickly show you which ones are a
heart attack so you can avoid them. Some labels play the servings per container game
to disguise a poor statistics. Choosing low sodium items when given a choice is an easy
way to control this. That, and the salt shaker give it up. Things that come with flavor
packets are a red flag and loaded with salt I just use half of them and chunk the rest.

Sugar: A few jellybeans wont hurt, although a whole bag of them might.

Junk Food: I can only go so long without a fix. Its either salt or sugar or grease, or some
lovely combination of all three. Its nature.

Oil and Grease

A love-hate thing. Too little and food is bland There is something
and sticks; too much and you get fat. In satisfying about spraying
ones food.
general, anything submerged in cooking oil is
bad, any oil becomes unhealthy when
overheated, and liquid oil you can see
through is better than the coagulated white
kind. For light frying, to control calories, and
to protect non-stick pans, spray oil is very nice
stuff. Sometimes you can spray oil right onto
the food, which is really fun.

Page 4
Rule of Halves
A central marketing ploy for prepared food is to pound the customer with sugar and salt.
This gives processed, prepared, boxed, frozen, and canned foods a bad name. Using the
rule of halves, you can keep the convenience benefit without sacrificing years of your life.
Examples:

Item Rule of Halves

Canned stew or other prepared food,
tasty but loaded with salt
Dried rice or noodle products with a
flavor packet
Packaged rice dinners with the spices
(mostly salt) already mixed in
Canned vegetables
Frozen stir fry with seasoning pouch
Smaller portions, equal weight of a
non-salted food like a baked potato
or elbow macaroni. Or, a bowl of
greens.
Use half of the packet
Dilute with an equal amount of plain
rice. Add extra water in the usual 1-
part-rice / 2-parts-water ratio
Buy the half the sodium kind.
Rinsing doesnt work.
Use half of the pouch
Etc.

Drinks
This is a cookbook, but a quick note about drinks is in order. Most of us dont get enough
water. When that happens, we turn into prunes. Lugging around a big bottle of water is
not cool, but a good habit is a quick drink every time you pass a drinking fountain, and to
guzzle some after brushing your teeth. Water in milk counts, but water that soaks into
spaghetti does not. Water in soda or coffee counts, but only about half of it.

Page 5
Gear
Think of it as the inside version of the garage.

Cooking tools
You will need more than a pocketknife, but not too much more. Avoid the drawer full of
stray kitchen gadgets. When you ponder a kitchen tool at a store, ask yourself, where
will I put it? You can get most of this at a garage sale and use the money you save to buy
something for the garage.

Pans come in sets, so if you buy them new youll get stuff you seldom use. Never fear,
you can use the 12-quart Dutch oven for car parts.or when company comes.

Tool
Cutting board
Spatula-plastic
Wood spoon
Ladle-Plastic
Paring knife
Large knife (Bates Motel)
Cheese grater
Can opener a good one
Vegetable peeler
Measuring cup
Measuring spoons
Cookie sheet
Muffin pan
Baking pan
Paper towel holder
Hot pads
Toaster

Page 6
Mess Kit (Dishes)
If its just your or an occasional date, you dont need the whole fleet of stuff. Four each of
bowls, plates are about the smallest set size at the store. Extra cups and glasses are
good. I vote for the break-resistant dishes and plastic cups because Im a klutz.

Silverware comes in sets. Redundant forks are a mystery, and knives suitable for cutting
butter are arguably a waste of good steel. Spoons are popular. Having only encountered
sporks in fast food restaurants, made of plastic, I think it is a missed opportunity for
silverware optimization.

Having all spoons

migrate from the
drawer to the dish
drainer is a sure
sign of bachelor
living.

Page 7
Coated Pans Thank You NASA
Coatings are helpful. Cooking on top of chemical
paint may sound weird, but it is worth it. The
cheap pans have lousy coatings that will come
off and you get to eat those, but good coatings
last a long time if treated well and I highly
recommend them:
Dont use metal or coated metal spoons or
spatulas (use wood and plastic utensils).
Dont scrape when cleaning. No scrubby
scratch pads; not even the plastic ones. Just
dont. Tougher than a brassiere.
Dont overheat. This pan looks great even
Use non-stick spray plus coated pans for after 200 loads of oatmeal.
frying or baking.

The Stove
The civilized version of a camp fire.
Bad The main differences:
Easier to control.
Less burned food (a feature unless you
happen to enjoy burned food).
You cant toss your trash in there.

Page 8
Microwave - More than Just for Popcorn
I say both, only because some foods dont do well in a microwave. Ever try scrambled
eggs in a microwave? You get to eat a sponge. Still, the microwave is something I use a
lot because it is quick, especially for leftovers. You can do a baked potato in 5 minutes in
a microwave oven - to me that is the difference between having a baked potato or not
because Im not about to wait an hour and a half for the oven to do it.

Tips for microwaving:

Dont use for things that pop or snap Microwave splatter control
immediately upon start-up, or for food
that makes electric sparks.
Cover it: Stuff splatters in there and is a
headache to clean. Either plastic wrap or
a paper towel on top and tucked
underneath controls the splatters.
Wait after steaming: When plastic wrap
makes a pressurized dome over the food,
lifting the plastic off the edge because
youre starving will yield a steam burn.
Just wait until the thing forms a vacuum
seal to lift the edge.
When is food done? If warming, its easy to tell: if the bottom of the bowl is not
piping hot, its not heated through. Potatoes will yield to a squeeze (with a mitt)
when done. Corn on the cob is easy to overdo, so Ill make no claims there, but youll
figure it out from the recipe. Popcorn is easy: push the popcorn button!

Page 9
Food Storage
Food is expensive, especially when throwing it away. If youre cheap like me, controlling
cost is a goal, so being aware of ways to store food reduces what you throw away. The
berries and bark crowd will argue this, but I say long shelf life is good.

Canned Food
One of my favorites. Excellent shelf life of a year or more. Expiration dates are usually
printed on the cans. Tends to be over-salted.

Pre-Packaged Food
Since it is loaded with chemicals, this stuff lasts quite awhile - sometimes a year. There
are expiration dates, but the best test is the smell testif it smells musty it probably is.

Perishable Food
Generally, this has to be eaten in a week. So when buying for one there will be small
amounts of this if you find yourself throwing away limp vegetables and milk that leaves
a ring around the inside of the container, buy less or buy more often.

Throwing Things Away

Food is expensive, but doctors are worse. Waiting to get sick is too long, and risky.
Smells are pretty reliable bad meat or stale flour: pitch it. Perishable food, especially
milk, after a week: pitch it. Canned food after the use by date is probably OK within
reason, maybe an extra six months. Frozen food: quality and taste become reasons to
pitch before health.

Page 10
The Freezer
Frozen dinners have lists of ingredients longer than the Declaration of Independence,
which makes you wonder. But who can argue with frozen orange juice? Frozen fast food
is expensive, too. However, some items, like frozen fish, can be reasonable since you can
take out a couple of planks and keep the rest for later.

The real value of frozen food is freezing regular food. Ever try to buy one pork chop? The
freezer allows you to buy family-size quantities and store them in smaller portions.
Meats, all kinds. Even sausage chubs can be hacked in half.
Bread (half a loaf to freeze, divvied up package of hamburger buns)
Chili or stew, or any large recipe item, in portion size bags or butter dishes (unless
you want to eat the same thing all week, which is OK too)
Stuff that is on sale you can freeze

Shelf life in a freezer is about six months max. Freezer burn is from air. To get the air
out, zip the bag most of the way closed and pucker the remaining opening to fit over
your mouth - then vacuum away, and quick zip it closed. Just dont blow back in because
that is gross.

Frozen leftovers in a butter

dish. Woof.

Page 11
Zip Bags and Binder Clips
Air ruins food, so zip bags help a
lot. They are also good for
freezing portions or leftovers, and
can be double-bagged. Even a
half-eaten can of vegetables can
be stored in the can with a zip
bag over the top, and finished
tomorrow **. The office supply
black binder clips are an all
purpose item for closing bagged These clips work great for dry food
food like inside cereal boxes so like pancake mix, cereal, rice, etc.
they dont get stale.

**To be safe, dont store food in

the open can longer than a day.
Thats what butter dishes are for.

Bugs
These things are motivated by
hunger and follow smells just like
us, so the kitchen is a bug magnet.
What can you do?
Take away the stink and take away the food and theyll go somewhere else. That means
clean up, close up, cover up, etc. Bugs are small so crumbs are food to them, even the
ones in the couch cushions. Zip bags help a lot.

Caution: this is not a good place to practice denial. Bugs are Bad for Business. Bugs are
the iconic symbol of poor housekeeping, poor hygiene and a host of other labels you
really dont want. Might as well tattoo gross on your forehead. Prevent bugs.kill
bugs..be happy!

Page 12
Shopping Skills
Does Home Cooking Save Money?
See for yourself.

Meal Alternatives Cost per Other

Meal
None $0 Death
Mooching off Friends $0 Economical, but will reduce the list
and Neighbors of friends over time
Candy Bars And $1.50 Sickly health, short life span, bad
Office Coffee breath
Home Cooked Meals $3.00 Happiness, trim figure, long life
Using this Book
Fast Food $5.00 Super-sized into the ER, cost of new
Restaurants clothes for weight gain, zits
Sit Down Restaurant $10.00 If you have this kind of money, you
dont need this book

The Grocery Store

The mainstream grocery store customer moves a behemoth cart brimming with food for
an entire army. When you go in there alone, you will be tagged an outsider. You may
find yourself sweating even in the frozen food section, but be strong and it will soon pass.
You and your trusty cart will navigate through the panic if you have brought a list! In
time, youll build confidence and blend right in. Remember, you are not alone there are
others like you.

Page 13
Dont Shop Hungry
There is truth to the saying dont shop hungry, because the desire to eat now becomes
noise to the mental planning for what youll eat over the next 7 days. That is why using a
list is great. Obey The List. Maybe buy a candy bar at the checkout lane.

Reading Labels
After awhile youll have these memorized. But at first youll be doing homework in the
store. If a familiar brand is right beside a knock off store brand that is half the price, you
may wonder why. Good! Sometimes it is identical and a great deal, but other times it has
something in there you dont want.such as lard or enough salt to choke a horse. I try
store brands a lot to save money, and find that about 2 out of 3 are fine substitutions for
name brands.

I am not sure what determines serving size on a label. When you pick up a 15 oz. can of
chili and it says two servings, you will get the urge to tilt your head like a confused mutt
and say huh? Obviously, when you open that can the whole thing is going down. My
theory is that serving sizes are a trick to disguise how much fat and salt are in packaged
foods.

Flexibility and Your Wallet

Grocery pricing is a game, like selling cars. These people are professionals, and they want
your money. You can control this in small ways. For example, on your list indicate fresh
fruit but decide exactly what that is when you see the prices produce prices can change
by a factor of two in a weeks time. Maybe eat apples this week and grapes next week,
etc. Also, if your favorite box of cereal is almost $5 this week, they can keep it. Generic
brands got their start from such greed. If the whole store is a rip-off boutique, change
stores.

Page 14
Food Marketing Lies
Low Fat exclamations are often a diversionary tactic for things that are 100% sugar.
Likewise, a can of lard can be advertised as a low carb food. Savvy shoppers know this
game.

Distrust anything with an exclamation point or written inside an explosion.

Some example claims and likely true meanings.

Hearty!
New! Pure sugar

Massive calories,
salt, and fat
Same stuff, A Low Fat content. Will
different package Food! stick to your
ribs as if that is
good

Great
Taste!
Low
Carb! High
Fat
Marketing
desperation;
nothing else to
exclaim

Page 15
Expiration Dates
Often the stuff put on sale is about to expire. If you can use it right away or freeze, fine,
but if you plan to store it on a shelf, check the date. If you see a $5 package of premium
hot dogs on sale for $1, it begs a look at the expiration date, eh?

Buying in Quantity
You can save money this way, if you are smart about storage. For example, buying an
extra loaf of bread and freezing it or buying 10 cans of peas if they are on sale for 25 cents
apiece. Chicken breasts or pork chops in family packs can be put into zip sandwich bags
and frozen for individual portions. Shelf life knowledge helps to leverage sales like these.

Spices
Your first encounter with the spice section of the grocery store will be one of
intimidation- there must be a hundred different ones. Not only are spices complicated,
they are expensive. My philosophy is to buy one per shopping trip..soon youll be set.
For this book, the spice list is this:

Salt Whole Cloves Vanilla

Pepper Chili Powder Allspice
Garlic Powder Cayenne Pepper Dill Weed
Onion Powder Paprika
Oregano Cinnamon
Basil Nutmeg
An extra combination spice to consider is cinnamon-sugar. Use 3 parts sugar to 1 part
cinnamon, and keep in an empty spice container.

Page 16
Ketchup and other Condiments
A few extra goodies will look good in your refrigerator, but remember shelf life and stick
to basics. Stockpiling packets of drive-through condiments is fair game. When the
refrigerator door shelves are getting crowded, you have found the limit. Rather than list
what these recipes suggest, I say buy em as you need em.

Law of Potatoes
They all look the same, but every so often there is one with some nasty blight in the
middle of it. This why they come in bags.extras. So, when shopping for big baking
potatoes, get an extra one.

Page 17
KP
Kitchen Patrol.
A barrier to bachelor cooking is cleaning up,
therefore things that clean up easy are good.
This is the classic argument for TV dinners and
fast food, but good practices can make home
cooked meals as simple to clean as they are to
cook. Stuff left on the counter overnight dries on
like cement, so the #1 suggestion is to clean out
immediately whenever possible. A few other tips
are provided to help keep the task manageable.

Washing Equipment
Think camping, but with running water. Youll need warm water, soap, and a way to
rinse. A standard kitchen sink serves this well. Wash a couple, rinse a couple, put em in a
drainer. A scrubby sponge helps tough stuff (not coated pans though) and to clean the
sink itself. Usually dishes dry overnight. Even in a cleaning frenzy, resist the temptation
to put away wet dishes or silverware.

Page 18
Paper Towels Please
They may create landfill waste, but they are handy as heck and I strongly recommend
them. That is because whatever you wipe up with them ends up in the trash, including
sopping up grease instead of pouring it down the drain. They also help reduce the
amount of cleanup for example a stirring spoon needs to set somewhere. On a plate?
On the counter? Or on a paper towel!

Aluminum Foil
This stuff is great for controlling messes before they start. Cover a skillet for spattering,
line a baking dish if you think it will stick and petrify. Foil used for spatter control can be
washed with soap and water and re-used if youre a cheap skate like me.

Spray Cleaners
Im especially fond of the blue liquid, but Im not naming names. It does well on counters,
stoves, refrigerator shelves, and cleaning spots on floors. I seldom clean windows with it,
but everything else.

Page 19
The Sink is your Friend
Using the dishwasher each night for your bowl and spoon makes little sense. Keeping
enough dishes and spoons on hand so you can wait a week to run it ensures petrified food
on the dishes that may not come off (this is not to be considered a source of dehydrated
food and a feature). So that leaves paper plates and the sink - I use the sink.

If this conjures up visions of aprons and soap operas, dont let it. Just think of it as
camping out in your own house, without a tent. In cold weather, the warm water feels
good.

No doilies here.

Like their food,

bachelor eating
ware is basic and
to the point

Page 20
Soaking
The best way to reduce soaking times is prevention (wash right away).
Cooking with high temperatures makes sticking worse.
Allowed to dry, stuff bonds to surfaces like cement and creates extra work to get it off.
Kitchen work is bad. Rinsing loose stuff off immediately lessens the work. A quick rinse
and soaking while eating saves time. If the pan is essentially clean after rinsing, a quick
extra step with a soapy cloth can finish it off completely even before you eat.
Why hot water? The grease cutting effect can be easily tested by trying to rinse out an
empty margarine tub for recycling using cold water. It doesnt work.
Soap is something that dirt and grease cling to more readily than other stuff, like a
magnet. It is ironic that the original soap was actually made from grease; must be a
matter / anti-matter thing. Washing a pan immediately after use, before it dries on is the
way to go for most pans. Some things are destined to stick and soaking is inevitable
but still better than wrecking the pans by being impatient.
3-5 Minutes Soak
Egg yolk, spaghetti, or oatmeal on a plate, allowed to dry
10 Minutes Soak
Soak Microwaved vegetables allowed to dry
Times 30 Minutes Soak, Plus a Fresh Scrubby Pad
Fry pan, bare metal, after burned bacon
Soaking Will Not Work.
Peanut butter on a spoon. (You can pack wheel bearings with this
stuff.) Need to wipe off first and work off in hot water with soap.
Stubborn mineral stains, like that ring around the non-stick pan left
from hard boiled eggs. Mineral stains have to come off either
mechanically or chemically.

Desperate Measures: When youre about to throw away a favorite pan and nothing else works,
try rubbing it out with WD-40 or silicon spray on a paper towel folded into a soft pad Throw
the chemical-laden paper towel outside because it will smell for hours. Wash the pan twice in
hot soapy water to get the petroleum stink off it, then wipe with spray cooking oil and wash
again.

Page 21
Smells
Kitchens have many smells, some better than others. Smells are a call to action for
cleanup or to toss stuff out. If the kitchen smells like dinner two hours later, open the
windows and air it out. Some range hoods expel cooking fumes to outdoors, but most
just blow it back in your face and make noise.

Other
Days off
Chained to the kitchen counter? I dont think so. Here are some suggested time-outs.
Its better to get it right most of the time and keep it up over the long run.
Vitamin Day Off
Milk Day Off
Vegetable Day Off
Meat Day Off
Cooking Day Off - TV dinner or /deli run
No Time Day Off - the dashboard diner
Nutrition Day Off - aka Junk Food Day

Page 22
In a Pinch Substitute Ingredients
Portion size too small? Missing a key ingredient? Dont worry, within reason the show
can go on. Here are some ideas to save the day.

Food Item Substitute or Stretcher

Biscuit mix, cake mix, etc. Pancake mix or flour
Spaghetti sauce Tomato paste and water
Bread Tortillas, crackers
Bread crumbs A slice of bread toasted and left in a
warm oven for 30 minutes
Crackers Popcorn
Salt Leftover Ramen noodle spice packet
Margarine Spray oil + salt
Ground beast Diced lunchmeat or pepperoni, plus
some oatmeal or cracker crumbs
Milk for cooking Water
Milk for cereal Fruit juice
Cereal Gorp
Croutons Potato chips
Soup Stretch with extra noodles plus Ramen
spice
BBQ Sauce 1/2-cup ketchup, 2-tsp vinegar, 1-
rounded packed tbsp brown sugar

or Sloppy Joe sauce

Ketchup There is no replacement for ketchup

Page 23
COOKING FOR YOURSELF
These recipes are for solo cooking. Many of them can be scaled up to cook for others.

Page 24
Single Meal Recipes
Here are some ideas to illustrate how cooking for yourself does not have to be a barrier.
You can do this!

Breakfasts

Oatmeal in Disguise
2/3-cup dry oats
1-1/3 cup water
Special Ingredients

Boil the water, add oats, turn down heat until absorbed. Add special ingredients:
sweetener, raisins, dried fruit, honey-roasted peanuts, brown sugar, or anything else you
can think of to make it interesting. Without some special ingredients, this stuff is so
boring that nobody will eat it, no matter how healthy. So, add-away!

The instant stuff is grossly over-sweetened for a steady diet, but handy for camping or a
snack.

Fruit and Fiber (2 m)

1-bagel with high fiber and protein, like everything or whole wheat flavor
Fruit of choice: fresh, or canned, but make it a full bowl.
Healthy day!

Page 25
Oriental Noodle Souffl
1-package Ramen noodles
1-1/2 cup water
2-eggs, beaten, or 1/2-cup of egg
substitute
In a small soup pan, cook ramen half-way,
then add the egg, but dont stir. Top with
half of the seasoning packet, cover and
cook on low heat for about 10 minutes
until the egg is fully cooked. Too much
water and its soupy..too little water and
it will stick. Eat with a big spoon. Yellow food is good for breakfast

Farmer Fry
One medium potato, microwaved and diced
3-oz. diced smoked ham lunchmeat, diced
Black pepper, lots
Ham and potato should be in equal proportions. In a small fry pan, add 1 tbsp oil and the
ham, potato, and black pepper. Fry until they begin to brown. The pan is your bowl.
Good with fruit juice.

Elbow Noodle Omelet

1-cup of cooked pasta, leftover from a prior meal. Elbows work best
2-eggs or 1/2-cup of egg substitute
If noodles are cold, microwave for a minute to take the chill off
In a small fry pan, add a tbsp of butter or oil on medium heat, with noodles. Sizzle the
noodles for a few minutes so they are slightly-barely crispy on the bottom (not too
much). Pour the eggs over the top, trying to distribute evenly. Cook until golden brown,
flip to finish, top with black pepper.

Page 26
Collegiate Pizza (2 m)
2-slices of cold pizza from last night
Milk from the carton (sorry, Mom)

This is a classic meal, especially when standing over a sink.

Slam, bam. Hit the road, maam.

French Toast
2-slices of whole wheat bread (fiber opportunity)
2-eggs beaten or 1/2-cup of egg substitute

Soak the bread, fry in margarine. Pour the leftover egg on top before flipping over. Fry
golden brown. Submerge in maple syrup.

Milk Toast
(On Wimpy Sick Days)
1-slice of bread, toasted and buttered
1-cup of milk
1-tbsp cinnamon-sugar mix

Warm the milk to piping hot, but dont boil it. Cut the buttered toast in half and dust
heavily with cinnamon + sugar. Put into a bowl and drown in warm milk. Repeat the
recipe until you are sleepy and can conk out on the couch again.

Page 27
Boiled Egg and Sausage
1-egg
4-oz. polish sausage about one third of a whole link. Try the light kind for less fat.

In a saucepan, boil the egg in water for 15 minutes. Cut the sausage into bite size lengths,
about an inch long per bite, and add to the boiling water. Continue boiling both the
sausage and egg until the sausage slices float. Run warm water over the egg while
peeling it, rinse to remove any shell bits, and lay onto a plate nested with paper towels.
Spoon out the sausages and lay with the egg. Hack the hard-boiled egg into fourths and
dust with pepper. Stab with toothpicks and eat over the sink.

No Blender Orange Julius (2 m)

12-oz. milk or soy milk
1 heaping tbsp vanilla or white chocolate
instant pudding
1-tsp orange flavor Early Rise powdered
drink mix (I think the key ingredient is citric
acid)

Add the pudding mix and orange powder

and stir vigorously for about a minute, then
guzzle. What happens inside your stomach
is unknown.

Meadow Muffin (2 m)
1-English muffin
3-oz. thin-sliced smoked ham

Cover and microwave the meat alone to get it hot; meanwhile, slice and toast the English
muffin. Slap it together and scarf.

Page 28
Potato Pancakes
1-cup pancake mix
1-cup of leftover mashed potatoes
1-extra egg
1-tbsp extra oil

Extra is beyond whatever the pancake mix asks for (they are different). This stretches it
and gives a unique taste. Add milk sparingly, so the thickness of the mix is between
house paint and hot pudding. Cook on a lower heat setting than regular pancakes, for
longer time, and flip carefully. Makes enough pancakes for two breakfasts, but you can
freeze or have two days in a row.

Double Decker Biscuits

1-package of refrigerator biscuits, the cheaper the better

Lay one biscuit on top of the other. Snuggle each stack against the next, to form a
cluster. Cook at 300 degF half way, then 375 until brown on top. Make sure theyre not
still gooey in the center.

Cracker Omelette
2-eggs, or 1/2 cup egg substitute
4 saltine crackers

Melt a tbsp of margarine in a small fry pan. Whip the eggs and add to the pan, and
crumble the crackers over the top. Add pepper to taste (crackers have salt in them). Fry
both sides.

Variation
3-eggs, or 2/3 cup egg substitute
1/2-c oyster crackers

Page 29
Lunches
At work, youre on your own. Leftovers?

Grilled Tuna
1- 6 oz. can of tuna, water pack
Mayo and sweet pickle relish
2-slices of bread
Margarine
Drain the tuna and put into a cereal bowl. Add one heaping tablespoon of pickle relish.
Add mayo (slowly, there is no undo button) until it is sticky but not runny. Butter one side
of a piece of bread and put it butter-down on a small fry pan. Pile on the tuna salad mix.
Butter the second slice of bread and top the sandwich, butter side out. Lay a piece of
used aluminum foil on top, and heat on medium low heat until brown on both sides. The
objective is to have it heat through by the time it gets brown, so dont rush it.

Monte Cristo Quickie version

2-slices of bread
1/4-lb thin sliced smoked ham and turkey lunchmeat 1-cinnamon bagel
2-eggs or 1/2cup egg substitute 1/4-lb thin sliced turkey
Strawberry jam lunchmeat
Make up the sandwich. Melt a tbsp of butter on a Strawberry jam
griddle, medium low heat. Dip the bottom bread
layer in egg as if for French toast, but only the Microwave the
bottom side. Cook the sandwich on the griddle, lunchmeat to warm it (be
covering with foil. Use low heat so it has time to heat sure to cover). Slice and
through, or microwave the meat if youre in a #$%^& toast the bagel. Build the
hurry. Once golden brown, dip the top layer of bread sandwich, and cut in half.
in egg and lay on the frying pan, flipping the rest of With the jam on a plate,
the sandwich over on top of it. Continue to fry until dab some onto corners
the second side is also brown and looks like French before you bite into it.
toast. Dab with strawberry jam with each bite.

Page 30
Fried Baloney
4-slices of bologna
2-slices sandwich bread
Mustard (optional)

Spray a large fry pan with oil. Cut the Cut notches in
edges of the bologna and put into the pan - the bologna
cutting the edges keeps it from curling. or it will curl
Note: if you use a non-stick pan, cut the
meat before putting into the pan. Cook on
medium heat until brown, then flip over
and repeat. Lay briefly onto a bed of paper
towels, then make the sandwich.

Indian Chili
1-15 oz. can of low fat chili with beans
1/2 of a 15 oz. can of corn
Mix together and heat to bubbling. Top with crackers. Hot sauce is optional.
Works best on the stove, but could be covered and microwaved also.

Succotash Slam (2 m)
2/3 of a 15- oz. can of succotash
3-oz. diced lunchmeat
Combine in a cereal bowl, cover and zap.

Page 31
Oriental Noodle Soup with Bait
1-package of instant oriental noodles that come in a Styrofoam cup
1-small can of tiny shrimp (4 oz.)
Cook noodles according to directions, and add 1/2-can of drained shrimp. If there is a
flavor packet, just use half of it. Cover the rest of the shrimp for tomorrows lunch.

Dagwood Sandwich (2 m)
5-oz. of thin sliced lunchmeat blend; ham and turkey
2-slices of good quality bread or a sliced soft hoagie roll
1/2-tsp of oregano
8-bread and butter pickle slices
Leave nothing but crumbs.

Chili Dog
2 or 3 - hot dogs
1-15-oz. can of chili, no beans
1-hoagie roll

Put the chili into a cereal bowl, cover with plastic wrap and microwave for 2 minutes until
piping hot (feel the bottom to be sure. Luke warm chili is the pits). Roll the dogs in three
layers of paper towels and microwave for 45 seconds, or until they sing. Slice the hoagie
and flay open onto a plate. Smother the dogs in chili. Add some diced onions if you
want.

The no-bread option is a large bowl with the chili and cut-up dogs, covered and nuked.

Page 32
Cuban Sandwich
1-sub sandwich roll, either Cuban or French bread
2-oz. sliced roast beef or pork
2-oz. sliced sweet ham
1-oz. sliced salami
1-dill pickle, sliced thin (optional)
Margarine (optional)

Make up the sandwich and microwave until the bread is soft and the chill is off the meat.
Press flat so the sandwich is about a third of its original thickness. The flattening step is
the signature of the sandwich (and also why you cant use regular bread). Spray oil into
the fry pan, and heat to medium low temperature. Put the sandwich in there and cover
with foil until one side is crispy, then turn over and repeat.

This can be made with whatever lunchmeat you have on hand and it will make a good
sandwich. Traditional Cuban sandwiches also have Swiss cheese.

PB and Pickle Relish Sandwich

Peanut Butter
Sweet pickle relish

An unlikely combination but my daughter swears by it.

Page 33
Cobb Salad
Bag mixed salad
4-oz. chopped ham or turkey
lunchmeat. Dont skimp on meat.
2-green onions
1-hard boiled egg, chopped
1-11 oz. (small) can of mandarin
oranges, drained

In a small mixing bowl (cereal bowl Not a wimpy salad

isnt big enough), make a bed of
greens.
Top with everything else and your favorite dressing.

This makes three monster dinner salads.

15-oz (large size) bag of romaine salad mix
1-lb cubed ham
2/3- of a medium cucumber, peeled and sliced
1/2- of an 8-oz bag of sugar snap peas
4-hard boiled eggs, chopped
6-green onions, chopped
29-oz can of mandarin oranges, drained

Page 34
Vitamin Chili
1-15 oz. can of chili with no beans (looks like runny dog food)
1-15 oz. can of diced tomatoes, drained, green pepper and onion flavored, hot pepper
flavored, or regular
1-tbsp sugar
In a small mixing bowl combine the two and mix well. Distribute to two cereal bowls, one
to nuke now and one for later, probably for dinner. Top with crushed potato chips.
Variation: Mix with 1/2 box (8-oz) of elbow mac, cooked and drained, omit chips and dot
with hot sauce. This makes two meals

Elbow Dog
1-bowl of cooked elbow macaroni, kept hot
1-hot dog, sliced and zapped
Slice the hot dog, cover and zap in
a cereal bowl for 45 seconds. Dab
out the grease with a paper towel,
then add noodles and stir.

Extreme Black-eyed Peas (2 m) Grease is for cars. Cook hot dogs

1-15 oz. can of black-eyed peas separately to get it out.
1/2 of an 8 oz. can tomato sauce
2 oz. thin sliced smoked ham, diced
1-heaping tbsp of pickled sliced jalapeno peppers
Stir together in a small sauce pan, and heat through.
Beans do not microwave well

Page 35
Zippo Soup
1-cup dry elbow mac noodles
1-15 oz. can of chili
1-11 oz can of V8 juice
Mix all together in a sauce pan (dont pre-cook the noodles). Simmer on low heat for 20
minutes or until the macaroni is done, but firm.

Cheap Chinese (2 m)
1-cup cooked white rice
1/3 of a 15 oz. can of pineapple chunks
With pineapple on top, cover and microwave for a minute until piping hot. Douse with
low-salt soy sauce. You can eat meat for dinner.

Cheap Mexican (2 m)
1/2 of a 16 oz can of fat-free refried beans
8-10 jalapeo slices
saltines

In a cereal bowl, make a mound of refried

beans and press a hollow spot in the
middle (a microwaving trick). Cover and
microwave for 1 minute, until piping hot.
Put the jalapeos in the middle hollow
spot and surround with planted crackers.

You might want to just ditch the other

half can of beans; see how it goes.

Page 36
Rueben James
1-3 oz package of thin sliced corned beef
lunchmeat
1-small glob of sauerkraut
1 slice of bread

Lay the sauerkraut on top of the lunchmeat

and microwave for one minute.
The meat will protest, but be strong.

Meanwhile, toast the bread.

Put the bread on your plate, cut in half,

and fold over. Voila!

Page 37
Dinners
Sausage and Kraut Nuke
2-premium sausages (the kind where four come to a package)
1-14 oz. can of sauerkraut

Slice the sausages into bite sizes, and stir together with the sauerkraut in a large bowl.
Cover with plastic wrap and microwave on medium heat until steaming, about 5 minutes.

Bachelor Stew
1-frozen ground beef patty
1/4-medium onion, sliced into rings
(optional)
1-15 oz. can of green beans or corn,
drained

Oil or spray the bottom of a small fry

pan. Cook the patty (cover to
prevent spattering) until well done
on one side and fully thawed on the
other side. Flip and cover with
onions. Finish cooking and dab out Dab out the grease, then add vegetables
the grease around and under the
patty with paper towels.
Smother with the vegetables and heat another five minutes on low.
Top with pepper and garlic.

Page 38
Salad with Fake Crab Meat
1/2-bag of pre-made salad-in-a-bag
1/2-of a 12-oz. package of imitation crab meat.
Salad toppers, croutons, etc.
Garlic powder

Assemble everything directly onto a dinner plate. Start with a pile of salad greens, then
the crabmeat on top. Sprinkle with garlic powder and add your favorite toppings and
salad dressing.

Tortilla Pizza
1-burrito size tortilla
1-6 oz. can of tomato paste
Pizza toppings

In a bowl mix the paste with a tablespoon or two of water until it makes a thick sauce. Lay
out the tortilla on a cookie sheet sprayed with non-stick oil spray or oiled. Spread out the
tomato sauce to cover it. Top with your favorite items on hand such as:
Ground beef or sausage
Diced ham
Pineapple chunks
Pepperoni (try the turkey kind less fat)
Olives
Green onions
Cheese

Spray or wipe on more oil onto the exposed edges of the tortilla. Bake at 350 degF until
the edges and bottom are brown and not soggy. The toughest part is letting it cool so
you dont have a burnt mouth.

Page 39
Arnolds Dumpling
1-15 oz. can of beef stew.
1/2-cup of low fat biscuit mix
1/2 of a 15-oz. can of vegetables, your choice

In a small saucepan, slowly heat the stew until it is bubbly. Mix the biscuit mix with cold
milk until thick and sticky. Blop onto the center of the hot stew. Continue cooking about
10 minutes uncovered and then about 10 more minutes covered. Its done when the
dumpling is cooked.

Tuna Cake
1-6 oz. can of tuna in water
2-slices of bread, crusts removed, torn into little bread crumbs
1-egg or 1/4-cup of egg substitute
2-tbsp mayonnaise
Dill weed or dill seed if you have it

In a small fry pan, add 1/4-cup of oil and heat on medium. Have a cover nearby. In a
cereal bowl, tear up the bread into small crumbs and add the tuna and egg. Mix together
like meatloaf (wash your hands first!) and form into a patty, and set it into the warmed
oil. Do not overheat the oil or it will spatter and could burn. Be careful. Cover at once to
control the spattering. Cook until golden brown and firm, then turn. In a coffee cup,
make the tartar sauce with mayonnaise and dill seasoning (even plain mayo is good,
dont sweat the spice). Fold up about four paper towels in half and use that to drain the
grease off the tuna cake. Put onto a hamburger bun, or just on a plate, and top with the
tartar sauce. Enjoy with a big glass of milk.

This recipe is directly scalable: 1 egg+1`can of tuna +2 slices of bread = 1 cake.

Page 40
Darlas Wings
1-pkg chicken drummettes about 10 makes a good meal. You may want more. Oink.
1-bottle of BBQ sauce

Put the drummettes into a baking dish, single layer, but with as little extra room as
possible. Smother in BBQ sauce so they are all covered. Bake uncovered at 300 degF for
2 hours. The extra time is what makes em tender, so dont rush it. Serve with a canned
vegetable or store-bought potato salad and cold milk to drink. Thanks Darla

Rice-N-Stuff
1 -cup cooked rice
Stuff

Cook the rice a batch at a time 1-cup rice with 2-cups water, heat together until it boils;
cover and reduce heat until the water is absorbed. Remove from heat. Refrigerate in
the pan or a glass bowl. This becomes a main ingredient. Brown rice is healthier but
takes an eternity to cook and tastes different. You choose I choose white rice.

North of Havana Beans and Rice

1/2 of a 15 oz. can of beans (pinto, black, or black-eyed peas), drained. Stir into the rice,
cover and heat through. Dab with hot sauce if you enjoy extra spice. Note: sometimes
beans explode in a microwave so be sure to cover if you experiment with that.

With Canned Veggies.

1/2 of a 15 oz. can of vegetables (corn, peas, mixed vegetables), drained. Zap.
Also good for breakfast when the cereal is gone.

Page 41
Steamed Stuff
1-12 oz. steam-in-the-bag of your favorite vegetables for steaming (broccoli, cauliflower,
carrots, pea pods, etc.)
6-oz. Canadian bacon, cubed
Salt and pepper (optional)

Zap the vegetables in the bag according to directions. Dice the meat and put into a small
mixing bowl cover and zap until warm. Dump the steamed vegetables into the bowl
and stir up with the meat. Salt and pepper to taste. You can substitute hot dogs,
lunchmeat, or beef jerky for the Canadian bacon.

Smothered Pork Chop

1-pork chop, fat trimmed off
1-tbsp cooking oil
1/4 cup water
1-8 oz. package of pre-cooked rice, your choice of flavors.

In a fry pan, heat the oil and fry the meat brown on both sides. Saw through it to make
sure its cooked. Remove from heat and dab the grease out with paper towels. Zap the
rice for a minute so its warm. Add water and smother with rice, cover tightly, and return
to low heat for about 15 minutes. Same recipe works with a chicken breast, but the meat
fry time is longer.

Page 42
Smokehouse Oriental Noodle Soup
1-package of Ramen noodles, with picante spice packet.
4 oz smoked sausage (they look like premium hot dogs, 6 to a pound, or hack off part of a
big one, as long as its smoked)
1-cup water
2/3 of a 15-oz can of corn

Eat this out of a large soup bowl, or a small mixing bowl. Cook the noodles, and then add
1/2 of the spice packet. If the water is right, there will be just a small amount of standing
liquid in the pan. Add the corn and continue to heat. In the food bowl youll eat out of,
slice the sausages thin, and microwave them until the grease can be dabbed out with a
paper towel. Add to the noodles, stir, and pour back into eating bowl. This is so good you
might do it two nights in a row, or until the sausages run out.

Beanie Weenies
1-22 oz. can of baked beans, favorite flavor
2 or 3- hot dogs

Stab the dogs and boil them in a saucepan full of water until they float. Fish em out onto
a paper towel, and slice into bite size pieces. Dump out the water, and add the beans and
hot dogs. Heat through. (If you choose the no-fat hot dogs, just slice them directly into
the beans).

Page 43
Thanksgiving Dinner Anytime
1- frozen burrito, the 39-cent kind
1/2 of a 15-oz can of corn
1/2 of a 10-oz can of turkey gravy.

Zap the burrito according to

directions, and put onto a plate.
Zap the corn and add to the plate.
Zap the gravy and pour on top. If
you want to follow tradition and
gorge yourself, repeat (new plate).

Hot Dog Wraps

3- hot dogs
1-small tin of biscuits (5)
Cut the hot dogs and biscuits into thirds.
Wrap the puppies in biscuit, pinching closed.
Bake at 350 degF until the biscuits are a
deep brown. Dunk in honey mustard.
Add a vegetable for balance.
Variation:
5 bratwurst, raw
1 tin of crescent rolls (8 count)
Boil the heck out of the brats,
until fully cooked
Unroll the crescent rolls and
wrap one brat in each sheet of
two rolls; it just fits. Crimp
edges. Bake as before. Eat
the fifth brat while the other
four are in the oven.

Page 44
Potato Toppers
1-large potato
Toppings (see options)

Wash the potato skin so it is clean enough to eat, if you are a skin person. Poke holes in
the potato with a fork and microwave about 5 minutes. If it doesnt yield to a squeeze,
cook for another minute. Make cuts in the potato so it can be splayed out onto a plate. If
youre not a skin person, make a boat instead.

Topping Option 1
1-15 oz. canned vegetable
4-oz. lunchmeat, diced
Microwave the vegetables 30 seconds to warm (cover them). Top the spud with
vegetables, lunchmeat and black pepper. Warm for another 30 seconds so it is piping
hot.

Topping Option 2
1/2 of a 15-oz. can of chili, no beans
Microwave the chili and pour onto
the potato. Eat the same thing
tomorrow night.

Topping Option 3
1/2-can of condensed vegetable
beef soup (or other fav), full
strength, without water
Microwave the soup separately and
pour onto the potato. Avoid using
the whole can because you could Splayed or boat. Either way its a
die of salt poisoning. potato ready to be topped

Page 45
Cube Steak
1-cube steak, about 4-oz.
3-tbsp cooking oil
1/2 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
1/2 of a 10-oz. can of brown gravy
In a zip lock sandwich bag, add the flour, salt, pepper, and meat. Shake it up to coat the
meat. Chunk the baggie and leftover flour. Heat the oil in a fry pan and add the coated
meat it should sizzle immediately if the oil is properly heated. Chuck the bag and
remaining contents. Cook the cube steak fully, browning on both sides. Pour on the
gravy and continue heating until bubbly. Cover, turn down the heat, and simmer for at
least 20 minutes, and longer is better to soften the meat. Serve with a vegetable, either
warmed in the gravy with the cube steak, or cold in the can.

Corn Dog (2 m)
2-hot dogs
1-15 oz. can of corn
Slice up the hot dogs into a small mixing bowl cover and cook to rid them of grease.
Drain the corn, mix, and re-zap. If you use the fat free hot dogs, slice and put directly
with the corn.

Page 46
Succotash Omelet
2/3 of a 15-oz.can of succotash
2-eggs beaten or 1/2-cup egg substitute
1-heaping tbsp margarine

In a small fry pan, heat the butter until melted. Add the eggs and cook on medium low
heat for several minutes. When the edges start to look cooked but the middle part isnt,
add the succotash (drained). Continue to heat on low heat for several minutes so the
succotash heats through. Fold in half like any omelet and continue cooking until the first
side is brown. The side facing up at this point may not look great, but dont worry. Flip
again and press slightly with the spatula to form a flat surface and cook until the second
side is brown.

Oriental Noodle Supreme

1-14oz. can Chinese vegetables (chow mein or chop suey)
1 pkg. Ramen noodles
1-tbsp cooking oil
1-tbsp soy sauce
1-4 oz. can of meat (shrimp or chicken)

Prepare the noodles with 1/2 the recommended water and no spice packet. Cook the
noodles drain, leaving them in the pan. Drain the Chinese vegetables, and rinse them by
filling with cold water, covering, shaking and draining again (do this twice to get the
funky taste off the vegetables) and add to the noodles. Drain the meat and add to the
pan. Add the oil and soy sauce. Heat through. Serve in a small mixing bowl. Yes, youll
be hungry again in an hour.

Page 47
Goat Burrito
4-oz. lunchmeat
1-small potato
1-flour tortilla
1-edge of a green pepper, diced (if you have it)

Microwave the potato until soft, then peel it. Chop into cubes and dust with paprika.
Soften the tortilla for 10 seconds in the microwave, and set onto a paper towel. Fold the
lunchmeat into two paper towels and microwave until warmed, about 30 seconds. Lay
the lunchmeat and seasoned potato in the middle of the burrito, leaving about 2 inches
to the edge. Fold over into a shape that will fit your small fry pan and secure with
toothpicks. Spray or oil the fry pan and turn on low heat. Lay the burrito in it and cover
with foil. Read your mail while it is warming. Turn over when brown and do the other side
until both sides are crisp.

Mexican Meatball Sub (2 m)

Exactly 7 pre-cooked frozen meatballs
1/3 of an 8-oz can of tomato sauce
1-flour tortilla

Nuke the meatballs in a cereal bowl until extremely hot, then add the tomato sauce.
Warm the tortilla on a plate until soft, add the meatballs and sauce, roll.

Emergency Meatball Sub (2m)

6 pre-cooked frozen meatballs
1/2 of a 5-oz can of tomato paste
1-piece of toast

Nuke the meatballs in a cereal bowl while the toast is toasting. Meatballs on top of the
toast, and spoon the tomato paste on top of that.

Page 48
Lunchmeat Peas (2 m)
of a 15-oz can of peas
2-oz of lunchmeat (thin ham or turkey), cut in 1-inch squares
Combine in a cereal bowl, stir, cover and zap for 1-1/2 minutes. Add some pepper if
youre in the mood, or not. EZ to repeat in the same bowl.

Cold Casserole (2 m)
of a 15-oz can of corn, drained
4 or 5 saltines, crushed
6-8 jalapeno slices.
The end.

Half Soup
of a 16-0z box of elbow noodles
of a 15-oz can of corn, drained
of a 15-oz can of petite diced tomatoes, with the juice
of a 15-oz can of tomato sauce
of a 15-oz can of chili
of a of a tsp of black pepper (because a full half is too much)
Cook the noodles, and drain. Add everything else. Eat the other half tomorrow.

Poor Boy Spaghetti (2 m)

Cooked, cold, leftover elbow noodles
1- chicken hot dog, sliced
1/3 of a 6-oz. can of tomato paste
Cover, zap, chow, cry.

Page 49
Quick Rueben Sandwich
2- 2 oz packages of thin sliced corned beef lunchmeat
1/3 of a 15 oz can of sauerkraut
2- slices of bread

Put the sauerkraut, cover, and microwave until hot, about 45 seconds.
Put the bread in the toaster, and its a race to the finish.
On a dinner plate, arrange the meat in four little round piles. Cover and zap for a minute
or so until piping hot and beginning to crinkle on the edges.
Assemble the sandwich with toasted bread, corned beef, and sauerkraut.

Instant Burger and Fries

5- frozen pre-cooked meatballs
Frozen crinkle fries or steak fries (thick ones)
ketchup

On a small saucer, arrange the meatballs with fries. Should be about half and half of
each. Microwave 2.5 minutes or until the fries are thawed and hot. Top with ketchup.

Pot Pie Deluxe

1-50 cent frozen pot pie, microwaveable
1/2 of a 15-oz. can of corn

Microwave the pot pie on a plate (they ooze out the sides), according to directions.
Set aside and zap the corn in a cereal bowl for 1 minute.
Dump the pot pie upside down onto the bowl of corn.

Page 50
Same Ol
One cereal bowl, washed
1-15 oz can of vegetables, choice
6 or 7 frozen meatballs

Zap for 3 minutes and check email

V8 and
1-12 oz can of V8 juice with low sodium
Junk food of your choice:
Frozen meatballs
Frozen burrito
Pot pie
Fast food sandwich
The vegetable juice counteracts the junk food chemicals, producing a respectable meal.

Dans Burritos
1/2 cup of cooked white rice (cooked from dry, or pre-cooked if really lazy)
5-frozen meatballs
1 large flour tortilla
Bag salad

Heat the rice. Zap the meatballs in a cereal bowl, 2 min. Then zap the tortilla on a dinner
plate for 15 seconds. Line the meatballs up on the tortilla, snuggle with rice on both sides
and cover with greens. Dot with hot sauce. Roll up. Repeat until full.

Page 51
Emergency Rations (2 m)
If all else fails, you know what to do.

Page 52
Cook Once, Eat for Several Days
Classic bachelor style. A scoop at a time with your friend, the microwave.

Meat Loaf Tip:

2-lbs. of ground beef Trim your
1/3-cup oatmeal or powdered bread crumbs fingernails and
3-tbsp oil scrub your hands
1-egg first.
1-tbsp steak sauce
1/4-cup ketchup
1-tsp salt
1/2-onion (3/4-cup), diced
Grease or spray a 1.5 quart meat loaf-shaped baking dish. To completely avoid soaking,
line the baking dish with foil and spray that. Mix everything in a large bowl. Form into
the proper shape, kneading slightly and turning to be sure there are no voids. Bake at 350
degF for 90 minutes. Slice through the center to be sure it is fully cooked.

Variation: Fall-Apart Meatloaf:

Add 1/2 of a 15-oz can of diced tomatoes, with
liquid
Increase to 1 full onion

Page 53
Clam Chowder-Manhattan
1-10 oz. cans condensed Manhattan clam
chowder plus 1-can of water
1-15 oz. can tomato sauce Alternative
1-15 oz. can diced tomatoes in tomato sauce Substitute 1-18 oz. can minestrone
2-medium potatoes, microwaved and diced soup for the tomato sauce
1-10 oz. can of whole baby clams
1-6.5 oz. can of chopped clams
1/4-cup clam juice from the canned clams
(ditch the rest of it)
1-tsp black pepper

Heat; serve with saltines or oyster crackers.

Clam Chowder-New England

2-18 oz. cans New England Clam Chowder
2-6.5 oz. cans diced clams (drained, with 1/4c of the juice)
2-medium potatoes, nuked and diced.
1/4-c margarine

Heat, eat.

Page 54
Hamburger Pie
1-lb hamburger
1-med onion
1/2-tsp salt
1-1/2 cup milk
1-large potato, microwaved and diced
3/4-cup baking mix such as Bisquick
3-eggs
1-cup shredded cheese (optional, and then its called cheeseburger pie)

Brown hamburger and onion together, drain. Add potatoes and salt, and re-fry to extra
brown and a bit crunchy. Put into a greased* 9x9 baking dish. In a separate bowl
combine the milk, baking mix and eggs together and pour over the meat mixture. Bake
at 400 degF for 35 minutes until a toothpick in the middle comes out clean. If using
cheese, add that during the last 10 minutes.

Tasty, but sticks like glue to the pan. Good one to line with sacrificial foil.

Recipe adapted from Bisquick

Beanie Weenies, Again

3-22 oz. cans of baked beans, grilled and brown sugar flavor
1-lb hot dogs, reduced fat kind

Slice the hot dogs into bite size pieces. In a large pot, dump in the beans and dogs. Heat
through slowly. Its done when the sauce bubbles and the dogs float. If you dont choose
low-fat hot dogs, slice and boil first.

Page 55
Hawaiian Volcano Chili
1- Two-Alarm chili kit for two pounds of ground beef, Pleasure and Pain
but dont use the red pepper packet. Use 3/4 of the
masa flour, mixed in with 1/4-cup of water and 2/3 of
the salt.
3-1/2 lbs. good quality ground chuck (the stuff in giant
tubes is part foam rubber I think)
1-medium onion, diced
2-orange bell peppers, diced
2-15 oz. cans of crushed unsweetened pineapple,
drained, but put in 1-cup of the juice
1-15 oz. can of diced tomatoes, drained
1-15 oz. can of tomato sauce
1-7 oz. can of tomato paste
1- tbsp Louisiana hot sauce, the cheaper the better
1/4-cup crushed or chopped red pepper
1-26 oz. jar of Sams Peach Pineapple Chipotle Salsa
This is a monster size crock-pot order of chili, so invite a lot of friends or plan to freeze
some of it. This recipe doubles everything else so it ends up as One-Alarm really. Brown
the ground beef with the onion and green pepper, and drain away the fat. Mix in
everything else, paying attention that it is the proper thickness for chili (not too runny).
Simmer in a large crock-pot on low temperature 6 hours.
Scaled down version that makes 2/3 of a crock pot load. Can eat in a week.
2.25 lbs ground chuck, 1/2 of an onion, diced
1-15 oz. can crushed unsweetened pineapple, with all the juice
1-15 oz. can diced tomatoes, drained (the kind with green pepper, celery, onion)
1-8 oz can tomato sauce
1-26 oz. jar Sams Peach Pineapple Chipotle Salsa
1 mild and 1 medium fresh chili peppers, diced
1-heaping tbsp sugar, 1-rounded tbsp chili powder
2 tsp masa flour, 2 tsp salt
Simmer for 4 hours on low.

Page 56
Pizza Noodle Pie
12-oz. elbow macaroni
1-lb mild Italian sausage, browned and
drained.
1-6 oz. package of Canadian bacon, sliced and
cubed
3.5 oz. turkey pepperoni, cut discs in half.
1-20 oz. can of pineapple tidbits
1-6 oz. can tomato paste
1/2-cup of diced raw onions or green onions
1-medium green pepper, diced
1-26-oz. can of spaghetti sauce, regular flavor
2-frozen pie crusts
1 tsp oregano Mama Mia!
1/2- tsp crushed red pepper

Cook and drain the noodles. Leave firm. Brush the bottoms of the crusts with the
tomato paste. Add noodles until below crust level. Heap on the meat, then pineapple,
green pepper, and onion. Cover with spaghetti sauce. Dust with oregano, crushed red
pepper. Crown with onions. Put both pies on a large cookie sheet in case of a spill. Bake
at 400 degF for 30 minutes. Dish up in scoops - dont bother trying to dish up in slices like
a real pie.
Dont like turkey pepperoni?
OK. You can also use regular
pepperoni. Put it in a bowl
and microwave for a minute
until you can dab out all the
disgusting grease. Voila!

Page 57
Corned Beef and Cabbage
Large brisket (over 3-lbs, bigger is betterthe meat is the feature), fat trimmed off, cut
into small bite-size cubes
3-medium potatoes, peeled and diced
1-yellow onion, diced
1-cup diced carrots
1-head of cabbage, quartered, cored, and sliced into pieces a fork can deal with
1/4-cup margarine
Black pepper
1-cup water

Layer, press into a 5-qt. crock-pot, dotting the top with the margarine and black pepper.
Cook on low temperature for 8 hours.

(V) Western Spaghetti

1-tbsp oil Vegetarian Variation
1/2-onion, diced 15 oz of soy patties that are
1-green pepper, diced supposed to look like
2-lbs ground beef hamburgers (six patties)
1-32 oz. can or 3-11.5 0z. cans of low- 2 tbsp of oil instead of 1, omit
sodium V8 juice green pepper, use a full onion
1-15 oz. can tomato sauce instead of half
1-15 oz. can of diced tomatoes with the The rest is the same, except
juice do not drain the meat.
1-lb elbow macaroni or any other pasta

Cook the meat, onions and pepper in the oil until fully cooked, and drain. Add tomatoes,
tomato sauce and V8 juice and bring to a boil, then add the pasta. Cook on low heat
until the pasta is done. Cool for a few minutes, then serve. Since the pasta isnt cooked
in a separate pan, the starch will thicken the sauce when it cools.

Page 58
EZ Turkey Pot Pie
2-lbs. of ground turkey (turkey or chicken meat in small cubes can be substituted more
work)
3-tbsp oil
2-large or 3-medium potatoes, nuked and peeled
1-1/2 cans of chicken gravy
2 tsp diced dried onion
1/8 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp basil
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
Pinch of garlic powder
2- frozen pie crusts, with pie pan

Separate the crusts, since one will be used on top. Cook the meat with the seasonings, in
3 tbsp oil, until fully cooked. Drain. Mix remaining ingredients in a large mixing bowl.
Adjust the gravy amount so it is not too soupy. Pour into the crust that is in the pie pan,
using the second pie pan under it for stability. It should be slightly mounded. Cover with
the top crust and make some slits. Set onto a baking sheet since these always overflow.
Put the pie pan onto a cookie sheet (spillage) and bake at 425 degrees F for 40 minutes.
The edges of the crust will get dark brown. Oh well. Cool about half way before serving
in pie slices. Serve mixed vegetables on the side.

Notes:
Removing the second crust usually breaks it. If that happens, put it onto a wood carving
board dusted with flour, make the broken dough into a ball, add about 10 drops of water
and roll flat with a juice glass or rolling pin (or an empty beer bottle) until you can cover
the pie.

If there is too much filling, bake separately in small pan for excellent munchies.

Page 59
Shepherds (Cow) Pie
2/3-c instant mashed potato flakes*
2/3-c water*
1/3-c milk*
1-tbsp margarine*
2/3-c diced smoked ham, or other lunchmeat
1/2 of a 15-oz can of corn
* Follow directions and make 2-servings of instant mashed potatoes. These amounts are
typical. If they look dry add a bit of extra milk.
Put the diced lunchmeat into the bottom of a cereal bowl. Cover with a paper towel and
zap about 30 seconds until hot. Smother in hot mashed potatoes. Make a dent in the
potato pile and pour in the corn. Cover and zap 1 minute until the corn is warm. If using
cold mashed potatoes, built it the same and zap for about 3 minutes until the bottom of
the bowl is warm.

Picadillo
1-1/2 lb. ground beef Picadillo (peek a dee )
1-small onion, chopped fine
1-green pepper, diced fine Noun
3-cloves of garlic or equivalent powder
1/2 of a 15 oz. can of diced tomatoes w/liquid A Latin American dish
1-8 oz. can of tomato sauce consisting of spiced ground
1-tsp vinegar beef, usually served over rice
1/2-tsp salt and served by beautiful Spanish
1/2 tsp pepper women.
6-pimento-stuffed olives, chopped fine

In a large skillet, fry the onion, pepper, and garlic together in 3 tbsp oil. Add meat and
cook until brown; drain. Add remaining ingredients and simmer 20 minutes.
Goes good with black beans and rice, and some salad.

Page 60
Tamale Casserole
2 tbsp oil
1 large onion, diced
2/3 lb. ground beef
1-15 oz. can mexi-corn (corn w/peppers), drained
1-15 oz. can low fat refried beans
1-7 oz. can of diced green chiles, drained
1-tsp chili powder
1-8.5 oz. box of cornbread mix

Brown the hamburger and onion together with oil, until extra brown, drain. Add chili
powder, refried beans, corn, and green chiles and cook until bubbling like lava. In a
separate bowl, mix up the corn bread mix and any ingredients it asks for and spoon on
top as if for dumplings. Reduce heat, cover, simmer for 15-20 minutes until the
cornbread dumplings are cooked (toothpick test).

Adapted from a recipe Golly Tamale , Y2K Kitchen, Sally Strackbein,

www.EmergencyKitchen.com

Clam Sauce on Fettuccine

1-lb fettuccine
2-15 oz. cans of white clam sauce with garlic
1-10 oz. can of baby clams, drained

Cook the noodles until tender, drain, and dump the sauce on top. Heat through.
UR Done.

Page 61
Skillet Lasagna
1-lb. mild Italian sausage
1- bell pepper, red or green
2-cloves of garlic or an equivalent amount of garlic powder
1-tsp crushed red pepper
10-lasagna noodles
1-26 oz. jar of marinara sauce
2-1/4 cups of water
2-tsp dried basil
1/2 tsp salt

Dice the pepper and cook with the meat in a large skillet. Drain. Add the garlic, crushed
red pepper, basil, and salt, and stir. Break the noodles into bite size pieces, and put them
in the pan with the marinara sauce and water. Cover and cook on medium low heat until
the noodles are tender.
If you are a cheese person, sprinkle 1/2-cup mozzarella cheese and dot with 1/2-cup
ricotta cheese at the end and cover/set until it melts.

Split Pea Soup

In a 4-qt. crock-pot combine all
1-20 oz. pkg. of dried green split peas
ingredients. Cook on low setting for 8
1-1/2 lbs ham, diced.
hours. Stir until the soup is smooth and
1-med onion, diced fine
thick. The lumps are a feature.
1-large carrot, diced fine
2-medium potatoes, diced small Note for crock-pot recipes like this
1/3-cup margarine with potatoes and carrots: If you
1-tsp salt like them tender, microwave the
1-tsp black pepper diced hard veggies for a couple
8-cups water minutes before putting in the pot.

Page 62
Bachelor Pie
1-onion, chopped
2-cloves of garlic, or equivalent in garlic powder
1-lb ground beef
1-15 oz. can of diced tomatoes with garlic, drained
1-15 oz. can of kitchen-cut green beans, drained
1-15 oz. can of yellow hominy, drained
8-servings of instant mashed potatoes

Make up the mashed potatoes separate. Brown the onion, garlic, and beef. Drain. Add
S+P to taste. Put into a 1.5 quart casserole dish. Mix the canned vegetables together and
put on top of the meat. Smother in mashed potatoes. Spray oil all over the top of the
potatoes, pretending it is paint. Bake for 40 minutes at 350 degF.

Tuna Casserole
2-12 oz. cans of tuna, drained What are you
1-12 oz. box of flat noodles looking at?
1-cup frozen peas (optional)
1/2-cup crushed saltine crackers or croutons
1/3-cup margarine
1-cup milk
1/4+ tsp salt and pepper, or to taste

Cook the noodles and drain. Melt the butter in the hot noodles. Add milk and stir until it
is creamy, but still some liquid in the bottom. Add the tuna, S+P, and mix well. Pour into
an 8x8 casserole dish sprayed with oil, and top with cracker crumbs. Cook at 350 degF
for 30 minutes. Goes great with hot sauce.

Page 63
Mandarin Chicken and Rice
1.25 lbs of chicken tenderloins
2 tbsp oil
1-29 oz. can of mandarin oranges in light syrup
1- tsp salt
1-tbsp sugar
2 tbsp corn starch
The juice from the mandarin oranges
1-cup white rice
2-cups water

In a covered saucepan, combine rice, half the salt, and water, but wait to cook it until
later. When the time comes, bring to a boil, turn down to very low temperature and
simmer until the water is absorbed.

Cut up the chicken into strips about 1/2 inch wide and 2 inches long. In a covered fry pan,
fry the chicken until cooked and white through; drain any liquid rendered. Drain the
mandarin oranges, keeping the juice. Add 3/4-cup of the juice, half the salt, the sugar,
and the oranges to the meat and return to the stove to heat through. When the oranges
are heated, slowly mix in the cornstarch to 1/4-cup of mandarin juice until it is smooth,
and stir that into the meat mixture. Continue stirring the bubbling goo for 2 minutes to
thicken. Then cover and reduce heat to the lowest setting or set in a 200 degF oven so it
just stays warm but doesnt dry out. Now start and cook the rice.
Divide the rice into 4 cereal bowls, pushing it to one side. Fill the other side of each bowl
with a fourth of the meat mixture. Eat one, save three for other meals. Add a vegetable
on the side for luck.

Page 64
Power Stew
1-40 oz. can of beef stew.
1- cup of low fat biscuit mix, such as Bisquick
1/2 of a 15-oz. can low fat corned beef hash
1/2 of a 14-oz. can beef gravy
2-med potatoes
1-large carrot
1-medium onion

Peel and dice the potatoes, carrots, and onions in stew-size pieces; add 1/4-cup of water,
cover and microwave for about 7 minutes until firm but cooked. In a large deep pan, mix
the stew, corned beef hash and extra veggies and slowly heat until it is bubbly. Dont
rush this step. Mix the biscuit mix with cold milk until thick and sticky, and make three
dumplings in the stew. Continue cooking about 10 minutes uncovered and then about 10
more minutes covered. Its done when the dumplings are cooked.

Extreme Noodle Soup

2-18 oz. can of non-condensed vegetable
beef soup.
1- 12 oz. can of roast beef and gravy.
16-oz. elbow noodles.

Cook the noodles and drain, and move to a

large glass bowl. Pour in the rest; stir.

Western variation, great for camping:

Soup with lots of beef, and its own gravy, no extra can of roast beef needed.
8-oz of noodles. Cook the noodles in the soup, without draining. A one-pan wonder!

Page 65
Tostadas
1-lb ground beef
1/2 of a 10-oz can of red enchilada sauce
1/4 tsp salt
Shredded lettuce
Tostada shells round crispy corn flats
Brown the ground beef and drain the fat away. Add salt. Stir in the enchilada sauce and
turn the heat way down, stirring occasionally for about ten minutes so the sauce thickens
a bit, like caramel.
Put a scoop of seasoned meat onto a tostada shell, cover in shredded lettuce and dot
with hot sauce. This recipe makes six of them which can be three days worth.

Chili Mac Attack

2-day quickie recipe
8-oz. elbow noodles
1- 15 oz. can of chili with no beans
2/3-can of diced tomatoes with onion
and green pepper
1-tsp chili powder
Cook the noodles firm, and drain. Hold
out a coffee cup full of noodles in case
there are too many. Add the canned
chili, partially drained tomatoes, and
chili powder. Heat through. This makes
two meals keep the rest in a butter
dish.
You may want to be alone for 8 hours
after this meal.
4-day recipe
1-cup elbow macaroni
1-lb ground beef
1-large onion diced
3-tbsp chili powder
1/4- tsp crushed red pepper
1-28 oz can diced tomatoes in juice
1-28 oz can crushed tomatoes
1-15 oz can kidney beans (optional)
Cook macaroni, drain. Brown the
ground beef with onion in a pan, and
drain. Add red pepper and chili
powder. Add tomatoes with juice,
and beans (opt). Simmer for 20
minutes. Add noodles, and heat
through. Season with salt and
pepper to taste.

Page 66
Mild Chili
2.25-lbs ground sirloin
1- chili kit with separate packets,
designed for 2-lbs of meat:
2-medium onions
2-medium potatoes Its easier to
1/2-tsp black pepper add spice than
1-tbsp sugar take it away
1-tbsp oil
1-14 oz can of petite diced tomatoes
1-14-oz can of water
1-8 oz can tomato sauce
Brown the ground beef with the diced onions. Drain. Put into a crock pot. Microwave
the potatoes until soft, peel, and dice. Add all remaining ingredients. From the chili kit,
use the following:
2/3 of the salt
1/3 of .the spice
None of the cayenne pepper
None of the masa flour.
Cook on low for about five hours. Reheat a scoop at a time, and use hot sauce to taste.

Meatball Casserole
1-lb package of egg noodles
1-lb of frozen pre-cooked meatballs
2-14.5 oz cans of beef gravy
1/4 tsp black pepper

Cook the noodles until tender. Drain, and add gravy and pepper, returning to the stove to
warm through. Microwave the meatballs for about 5 minutes until hot through, and add
to the noodles. Thats it.

Page 67
Snacks and Sides

Cold Cereal The Ultimate Fast Food (2 m)

Cold cereal is good for breakfast and snacks. Even the healthy ones are usually
sweetened, so its a snack in disguise. Its a tasty way to down an extra glass of milk.

Whole grain cereals can be dolled up easily with Gorp or berries, just like the pictures.

Fried Tortilla (2 m)
Spray oil onto a fry pan and lay a flour tortilla on it. Heat on medium heat until there are
boils on the tortilla. Turn and continue heating until a slightly crisp on both sides. Fold
into quarters and eat from a paper towel. We dont need no stinking badges!

Variation is a rolled and fried tortilla stuffed with pickled jalapenos.

Tuna Salad on Crackers

1-6 oz. can of tuna, water pack
Mayo and sweet pickle relish
Crackers

Drain the tuna and put into a cereal bowl. Add one heaping tablespoon of pickle relish.
Add mayo (slowly, there is no undo button) until it is sticky but not runny. Put blobs of
this onto crackers. Eat a few now, and a few later. If you eat them all at once you have to
call it lunch.

Page 68
Canned Corn with Salsa (2 m)
Cold canned corn, mixed with cilantro salsa or just hot sauce.

Canned Fruit with Free Juice (2 m)

If you get the fruit that is packed in juice, you get a free drink! Free is one of my favorite
words.

Trail Mix (Gorp)

This is high calorie stuff, so I dole it out in the small bathroom cups to keep from
overdoing it. Remember the note about fiber..

1-measure of raisins
1-measure of salted peanuts Low fat Gorp: Raisins and
Cheerios. Good for a hike if
In a zip bag this keeps for a week or more. made up that day, with a fourth
For variety, mix in dried cranberries. of the calories.
However, once you add chocolate it changes
categories to candy.

Gelatin Fruit Glom

1-3 oz. (regular size) package of lime gelatin
1-20 oz. can of pineapple chunks in pineapple juice, well drained.

Mix the gelatin according to directions for a fruit mold, but use 3/4 of the listed water. If
you dont do it exactly right all the fruit goes to the bottom..so what?

Page 69
Waldorf Salad for One
1-cold crunchy apple, diced, peels on
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1-tbsp sugar
1-handful of raisins

Mix together in a cereal bowl and munch on the couch watching TV.

Faux French Bread (2 m)

1-plain bagel
Garlic powder

Slice the bagel, spray with oil to wet the tops, and sprinkle on garlic powder. Broil until
golden brown.

Fried Pastry
2-frosted dough pastries such as cinnamon swirl buns, bear claws, donuts, etc. They
need to be the kind made from dough and not baking powder kind.
2-tbsp margarine

In a small fry pan, melt the margarine on medium low heat until it starts to sizzle. Make
sure there is plenty of margarine or it will burn. If the pastries are not at room
temperature, zap them to take the chill off (but dont heat). Put the pastry onto the pool
of liquid margarine and cover with a scrap of aluminum foil. Heat for about 5 minutes
until the frosting combines with the liquid cholesterol makes a golden brown caramelized
layer. If the heat is set right, that will occur right when the whole thing is heated through.
You will need to have a long soak for the pan, but youll be asleep on the couch from
sugar shock anyway.

Page 70
Corn on the Cob - Microwave
Remove hulls, rinse and leave wet, wrap in plastic wrap. Microwave and remove on the
short end of the time allotted until you get to know your microwave power (ez to
overcook). If the corn yields at all, its done.

Ears
2 4-6 minutes
4 7-10
6 9-12

Green Beans ala Tomato Sauce (2 m)

1- 15-0z can of green beans
1-8 oz. can of tomato sauce with garlic, or add your own garlic to regular flavor

Drain the beans and put into a cereal bowl; top with the tomato sauce. Cover and
microwave until warm - about a minute. Best if you can let them set for an hour and
reheat, but edible right away.

Pickled Corn (2 m)
1/2-can of corn
2-heaping tablespoons of sweet pickle relish

Page 71
Pepper Jelly Crackers (2 m)
Open jar of jalapeno slices
Open jar of strawberry jam
Saltine crackers
Cross between snack and dessert.
Per cracker: a healthy dollop of jam, with 1 or 2 jalapenos on top.

Lord Help Me (2 m)
6 frozen, pre-cooked
meatballs
Hot sauce

2 minutes in the microwave,

a splash of red salt, and
youre in business.

Variation:
1 rounded tbsp of
jelly with the hot
sauce, for hot and
sweet combo.

Page 72
Popcorn Duds
(Not quite old maids, but close.)
You have to really like these to put up
with the mess.

1/2-cup un-popped yellow popcorn

kernels
1/2-cup vinegar
1/2-cup water
1/3-cup oil
A half-cup of popcorn kernels
makes this greasy, salty, crunchy,
messy, occasional odd snack.

In a coffee cup, soak the popcorn kernels in the vinegar and water for 8 hours. They must
be submerged. Rinse 3-times to remove the vinegar taste. Then freeze solid and thaw.
Drain and put into a frying pan with a good lid, and the oil. Heat on low temperature (my
stove setting 2) for 10 minutes. Turn up the heat to medium high (my stove setting 5.5).

Once the popping starts, slide the pan around upon the stove until done, about 5
minutes. Remove from heat and pour onto a dinner plate covered with 4+ layers of paper
towel. Add salt. The popped duds will fit into a zip sandwich bag.

Similar results by soaking in diet soda, such as lemon-lime or ginger ale.

Page 73
Bachelor Pizza Bites
Saltine crackers
Dollop of tomato paste each
Jalapeno slice each

Corn Torta Snacker

6 inch diameter Corn Tortillas
4-Jalepeno slices
Heat the tortillas in the toaster until slightly crisp (keep an eye on them while toasting)
Dress with peppers on a paper towel

Spiced Apple Cider (2 m)

Coffee cup-full of grocery store apple cider
2 dashes cinnamon
1 dash nutmeg
Pour, dash with spice, and zap for 1 minute and 50 seconds.

Instant Kebobs (2m)

Slices off of a chunk of a smoke sausage
Part of a can of pineapple chunks
Toothpicks

On each toothpick, stab a chunk of meat and then a chunk of pineapple. Stand each
assembly upon a microwaveable plate. Cover for spattering and microwave until most of
the grease has rendered from the sausage.

Page 74
Desserts
Cracker Cobbler (2 m)
4-saltine crackers
Jam
In a coffee cup, crumble the crackers. Two huge spoonfuls of jam ought to do it. The
right amount will yield the crunch, like a cobbler, but will not be dry. Seconds are usually
unavoidable.

Apple Pie for One

1-apple, peeled and diced small
1-cup of sweetened applesauce
1/2-tsp cinnamon
4-saltine crackers
Mix apples, applesauce, and cinnamon together in a cereal bowl, cover and microwave on
medium until heated through and bubbly. Let stand for five minutes covered so the
apples get softer. Stove heating works better if you have the patience. Top with crushed
crackers.

Crackers and Frosting (2 m)

Simplicity and shelf life combined.

The balance of sugar,

grease, and salt is critical.

Page 75
Maraschino Cherry Ding (2 m)
10- Maraschino cherries
2-tbsp maraschino cherry juice
2-rounded tbsp salted peanuts
Stir together in a coffee cup.

Strawberry Ding (2 m)
2-tbsp strawberry jam
2 tbsp salted peanuts
...In a cup. Hits all three buttons: sugar, salt, and fat.

Coffee and Cocoa

Hot coffee, instant or brewed
2-tbsp or so hot cocoa mix
Mix cocoa in with the coffee until it is rich. Optional treat: dip buttered toast in this.

Peanut Butter and Honey Spooners (2 m)

2-tbsp peanut butter
1-tbsp honey
Combine in a coffee cup and devour. Tell no one.

No-Bake Apple Pie

1-apple
Cinnamon-sugar mix
Core and quarter the apple, rinse, leave wet on a plate. Dust with cinnamon and sugar.

Worlds Fastest Milkshake (2 m)

8 oz. cold milk
2-tbsp of flavored coffee creamer or instant pudding mix.

Page 76
Muffin Dump
1-7 oz. package of just add milk blueberry muffin mix
1-29 oz can of sliced peaches
2-tbsp sugar
2-tbsp margarine
Make the muffin mix substituting peach juice for milk grease an 8x8 pan with
margarine, leaving the rest in the bottom. Dump the drained peaches in, pour muffin mix
on top, sprinkle sugar. Bake at 400 degF for 25 minutes; top should be crunchy.

Popcorn Balls - sort of (2 m)

1- bag of microwave popcorn, popped, cold
1 -bag of cherry flavored jelly wedge candy
Chew up a few cherry wedges, then add a handful of popcorn, using your mouth as the
mixer. Repeat in batches.

Cherry Soda (2 m)
1-can of diet lemon-lime soda in a tall glass
2 tbsp. of maraschino cherry juice
3- Maraschino cherries (optional)

Termites (2 m)
1-heaping overflowing tablespoon of jam
2 tbsp of Grape Nuts or so
The correct amount is found when it all sticks together like asphalt. Serious crunching.
Also works with Wheat Chex cereal.

Halloween Peanuts (2 m)
2-parts candy corn
1-part dry roasted peanuts
Shake together in a zip bag. Eat in handfuls to assure proper proportions.

Page 77
SMaybes (2 m)
2-graham crackers, snapped in half
2 leftover marshmallows from camping.
Using the two bottom grahams and a marshmallow on top of each one, nuke until
mallow becomes a pillow nearly round. Squish the top graham in place.

Haystacks (2 m)
Option #1 Chocolate Haystacks
1/2-c Grape Nuts
Chocolate milk
Wait about a minute, then munch and crunch away
Thinkhorse.

Option #2 Chinese Haystacks

1 rounded tbsp peanut butter
1 rounded tbsp honey
Small handful of crispy Chinese noodles.
Mix the peanut butter and honey in a coffee cup. Zap for a few seconds to soften, if
necessary. Add the Chinese noodle and stir in until the noodles are coated in wonderful
goo, and the mixture is spoonable. Eat while still crunchy.

Moms Apple Pie Almost (2 m)

3 saltine crackers
1 4-oz snack cup of unsweetened applesauce
2 tbsp sugar or Splenda (less if the applesauce already has sugar in it)

Crunch the crackers into a coffee cup. Stir in the rest.

Mix and munch.

Page 78
Instant Pudding Bachelors Last Resort
1-3.3 oz. pkg. of instant pudding
1-3/4 cup cold milk
Other stuff (optional)
Whip the pudding, wait a couple of minutes until it starts to set, and add the stuff. Makes
3-coffee cup size servings
Examples:
White chocolate pudding with 1/3-cup of chocolate covered creamy mints mixed in
Chocolate pudding with peanut butter cups mixed in
Coconut flavor pudding with chocolate chips mixed in
Emergency Ice Cream: Vanilla pudding mix, cold milk and a good imagination

Page 79
Special Occasions
Drive-Through Side Salad
Mid week and the diet is spotty? Re-charge with a drive through green salad. Then drive
home and eat your regular meal, and smile.

Thanksgiving for One: The Cornish Game Hen

1-Rock Cornish game hen, 22-oz. size
Thaw the bird, wash inside the body cavity and put it into a baking pan with oil or spray
on the bottom. With 2-tbsp of margarine on your fingers, coat the inside and outside and
then season with salt and pepper. Bake at 350 until juices run clear (follow instructions on
the wrapper). Serve with heated vegetable and warm soft bagel.

Deviled Eggs
6-large eggs
3-tbsp mayonnaise The ratio of mayo, mustard, and
1/8-tsp salt pickle relish is highly personal.
2-tsp mustard Find your own private nirvana.
3-tbsp sweet pickle relish
In a soup pan, put the eggs and cover in cold water. Bring to a boil and boil for 20 minutes
while watching the news. Put the pan into the sink and turn on the cold water slowly for
about five minutes. Turn off the water and let the eggs finish cooling in the cold water for
another ten minutes. Peel the eggs and rinse again to be sure there are no annoying shell
bits, then drain on a paper towel. Slice the eggs lengthwise in half, putting the empty
white casings on a plate and the yolks into a small mixing bowl. Mush the hard yolks with
a fork, add salt, the mustard and relish. Add mayo and mix until there are almost no
lumps and a scoop will just stand up and hold its shape not too much mayo or it will be
runny (but not enough and theyll be dry). Spoon into the white egg boat casings. These
are a party favorite and will stay refrigerated for a day or two covered.

Page 80
(V) Meat Night Off - Noodles and Spaghetti Sauce
12-oz. of dry noodles, any shape or color
1-can of spaghetti sauce

Cook and drain the noodles. Hold out a cereal bowl Veg-e-tar-i-an
of noodles, just in case there are too many. Add the
sauce to the remaining noodles using the same pan. Noun
If its too runny, add the remaining noodles,
otherwise cover and refrigerate the extra cooked
Indian phrase that means
noodles for another meal. Makes great leftovers.
Bad Hunter

Foil Chicken
1-chicken breast or 2-legs
1/3-package of dried instant onion soup mix
1/3-cup dried rice
1/3 of a 20-oz. can of pineapple chunks
Cook the rice with 2/3-cup of water, and set aside. Use either heavy-duty aluminum foil
or three layers of regular foil to make a sheet about 24 inches x 12 inches. Spray the foil
with oil, then make a bed of rice. Sprinkle the onion mix onto the rice. Add 1/4-cup water,
1-tbsp pineapple juice, and the pineapple chunks to the rice and nest the chicken into it
all. Wrap the foil and seal tightly. For raw chicken, bake at 300 degF for 90 minutes. This
recipe can be easily multiplied for guests.
(Optional Method extra pan) Pre-cook the chicken fully in a pot of salted water for 15
minutes before assembly, and bake for 30 minutes at 350 degF .

Page 81
Campfire Fish
Fish, beheaded, scaled, cleaned, rinsed.
Margarine, S+P, garlic powder, and lemon juice galore.

This is not a time for measuring. Works for as many

fish as you can lay flat side by side in the foil tent. Nest
the fish in heavy-duty aluminum foil.
The foil sheet needs to be large enough to fold over and seal tightly. Rub margarine
inside and out, liberally. Salt and pepper liberally. Add plenty of garlic powder to
exposed meat. Douse with lemon juice, about 1/4-cup for a good size trout. Seal by
folding twice, to keep the liquid in.
20-30 minutes on a campfire, or 15-20 minutes in a 450 degF oven, listening for sizzle
sounds inside the foil. Fish should flake when fully cooked. Dont eat until its plenty
cooked. Note: If actually cooked on a campfire, use two layers of foil and wet corn
husks in between the layers on the bottom side. This keeps the fish from burning.

Pumpkin Pie - No Milk

1-30 oz can of pumpkin pie mix
2/3-c liquid eggs (yellow kind)
1/3-c lactose free milk
1-9 oz box of "just add water" pie crust mix. This is one time lard is a good thing.
Make the crust according to directions for a 9 inch pie pan. It can either be a deep pan or
a regular pan with some leftover filling; cooks the same. You can use a tall glass for a
rolling pin if needed. You only need half of the crust mixbe creative with the other half
or toss.

Mix the pumpkin, eggs, and milk together and pour into the pie crust. Bake as directed,
but at least 15 minutes longer or until the toothpick test works.

Page 82
Multi-Meal Deals
Deli Chicken
Sometimes you can land a rotisserie chicken and a side of Cole slaw or beans for $7 bucks
at a grocery store. Its a whole bird, so simply whack it in half and the side dish too, and
you have two dinners! Cooks night off!

Drive-Through Food Specials

Like five for $5 sandwiches, or tacos by the bag. With a little bit of restraint, these can be
doled out during a weekend to make two meals or a very long and protracted lunch.
Tip: Sandwiches that are just meat and bun can be frozen, although thawing them in a
microwave takes some care. Zap initially for 30 seconds, until you can peel off the bread
and set it on a paper towel, then zap the rest until hot. Dont even think about
microwaving lettuce.

Page 83
COOKING FOR OTHERS

You have evolved.

With some practice and some new tools, you can cook for your friends or your kids. If you
can master these, you can cook just about anything. Cooking in large batches simply
takes more ingredients. But cooking multiple things at the same time is a new challenge
when the goal is to have them end at the same time. With some practice, planning, and
a few cheats, you can get multiple food items to arrive at the table hot simultaneously.

Page 84
Recipe Assortment
This is a mix of full size different meals. Dont forget the cook once eat many days may
work and that many of the food-for-1 items can be doubled or tripled.

Meatball Subs
1-lb. ground beef
1/3-cup breadcrumbs (dried/powdered kind, plain), or 1/3-cup oatmeal or cracker crumbs.
1-egg (optional, but recommended for larger meatballs)
2-tbsp vegetable oil
Salt/pepper + dash of red pepper, oregano
1-rounded teaspoon of minced garlic or equivalent garlic powder
1-26 oz. jar marinara sauce
3-hoagie rolls

Make up 1 inch meat balls and cook in a covered 12 inch skillet until cooked through,
using all ingredients except marinara. Drain any excess fat. Dab the pan with paper
towels to remove traces of grease. Add marinara on top of the meatballs and simmer on
low, for 10 minutes. Spoon onto rolls.

Alternate meatball recipe for fall-apart meatballs, using 1-lb ground beef
Use 80/20 hamburger (important)
1/3 c oatmeal or saltine cracker crumbs, mashed into small bits
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1-egg
1 tbsp dried minced onion (optional)
4-oz tomato sauce (1/2 of a small can). This is the secret item. Not too much.

Page 85
Pan Fried Burritos
4-burrito size flour tortillas softened at room
temperature or slightly warmed.
1-lb. ground beef
1 -yellow onion, diced
1-medium potato, microwaved, diced
Salt and pepper to taste
2-tsp paprika

Cook the onion part way in 2-tbsp oil. Add

meat and cook, drain. Remove from heat, add Dont eat the toothpicks
potato, and mix together. Add salt, pepper,
and paprika. Fill burritos. Fold ends and roll,
tucking ends in as you roll. Zip together with
toothpicks in a way that will allow them to be
flipped over. Lay onto a griddle that has been
lightly oiled or sprayed.

Cook over medium-low heat and cover with foil, allowing the burrito to heat through (not
too hot, let it take time). Turn when golden brown and crispy. Ole!

Wet burrito variation

Increase onion to 1-full onion and add to meat mixture: 1-7 oz. can of diced green chiles,
drained, and 1/2 of a 10-oz. can of enchilada sauce

Poor bachelor variation

1/2 lb ground beef, onion flakes, and salt. Repeat tomorrow night.

Page 86
Breakfast Bake
5-medium potatoes, peeled, cubed (4-cups)
1-lb. smoked thin-sliced ham, diced.
1-onion, diced.
1/2-tsp salt
1/2-tsp pepper
2-cups liquid eggs (or 8 eggs)

Microwave the potato cubes 10 minutes, until soft enough to eat. Spray oil coat the
bottom of a 13x9 baking dish, and add the potatoes, salt and pepper. Add ham and
onions, and stir, leveling in the pan. Pour on the eggs, distributing to coat the entire
mixture. Cover and bake at 375 degrees for 45-50 minutes, until the eggs are firm.

Smoked Sausage Kabobs

1-lb smoked sausage
1-15 oz. can pineapple chunks, in heavy syrup.
1/2- onion, cut into pieces good for skewering Kabob rules:
1 or 2 medium potatoes, microwaved 1/2 done
Other skewerable items, as desired
green peppers, made into 1-inch hunks
Mini tomatoes
Yellow squash sliced 1/2 inch thick.
or anything else you want to
skewer.
Make chunks big enough that
they dont fall off.
Pre-cook chunks of raw meat.
Season meat heavily if other
items are plain.

Set out a cookie sheet sprayed or oiled to

prevent sticking. (You will have to soak it
anyway.) Make up the kabobs on sticks,
alternating meat with other ingredients. Cook at
350 degF for 45 minutes. Makes six kebobs.

Page 87
Sausage Peach Balls
1-lb. mild pork sausage
1-29 oz. can of peach halves in heavy syrup
Whole cloves
Toothpicks

Make up six sausage balls and brown in a covered skillet. They should be about half
cooked and will finish in the oven. Put meatballs in a square baking dish so they dont
have much room to move. Top each ball with a peach half and secure it with a toothpick.
Put 3 or 4 whole cloves into the peach hat. Add half of the peach juice, reserving the rest.
Cover, bake at 350 degF for 1 hour. Top with warmed peach juice after serving.

(V) Salt and Pepper Burritos

3-burrito size flour tortillas softened at room temperature
or slightly warmed.
1-cup dry white rice
2-cups water
1-15 oz. can black beans, drained and rinsed
1-11 oz. can mexi-corn (canned corn with peppers in it)
5 or 6 sliced pickled jalapeno peppers
Salt and Pepper

Cook the rice with water, covered on low heat, until the water is absorbed. Add the black
beans, stir gently for a salt and pepper mixed up look. Warm the burritos and lay out
onto a paper towel to build. Mound the rice and beans, about a cup for each, top with
mexi-corn and jalapeno peppers, roll and secure with toothpicks. Lay onto a griddle that
has been lightly oiled or sprayed. Cook over medium-low heat and cover with foil,
allowing the burrito to heat through (not too hot, let it take time). Spray the top with oil
and flip when golden brown and crispy. Ole~!

Page 88
Crab Pasta Salad
12-oz. rainbow twist pasta, cooked (leave firm), refrigerated.
16-oz. imitation crabmeat, cubed or flaked
1-1/2 tbsp minced fresh garlic
1/4-cup vegetable oil
1-tbsp lemon pepper
6-chopped green olives w/pimento (optional)

Mix together in a large bowl. Season with lemon pepper (heavily) to taste. Chill, serve.
Top with croutons if you like.

Stretched version uses 1-lb of pasta, 24 oz of crab meat, 1/3-c oil, a rounded tablespoon
of lemon pepper, and 8 olives.

Stir-Fry
1-1/2 lbs. pork tenderloin, sliced thin in strips like fajitas
1/4- tsp salt
3-tbsp low salt soy sauce
3-tbsp oil
2/3 of a 56-oz. bag of frozen Thai stir-fry vegetables. One such mix contains carrots, red
peppers, snow pea pods, yellow peppers, soybeans, baby corn, celery, onion, and water
chestnuts. You get the idea.
1-20 oz. can of pineapple chunks, drained

Slice meat, add salt and soy sauce, then fry in oil. Drain half the liquid, add pineapple,
and fry for 3 minutes. Add vegetables and stir-fry until half-way between crunchy and
tender. You win again.

Page 89
(V) Spinach Lasagna No Meat / No Cheese
Recipe adapted from Del Monte.
Note: this recipe creates a lot of dishes.
10-lasagna noodles (not the pre-cooked kind)
2-14.5 oz. cans diced tomatoes with basil, garlic and oregano
2-13.5 oz. cans leaf spinach (not diced), drained and squeezed out, then drained some
more.
1-6 oz. canned tomato paste
Meat Substitute
1-14 oz. jar of pizza sauce
1/3-cup of vegetable oil
1/4-tsp pepper
1-orange bell pepper, diced very
small
1-6 oz. canned tomato paste
Cheese Substitute
1-1/2 cup milk
2/3-cup margarine
5-tbsp cornstarch
1-tbsp instant mashed potato flakes
1/8 tsp salt
Heat the milk, margarine and salt
slowly, but do not boil. Mix the
cornstarch with 1/4-cup of water and
stir until smooth liquid. Slowly add
cornstarch liquid to the hot milk and
butter and stir constantly until
thickened it takes a long time to
thicken and will burn if you are
impatient. Remove from heat and
add the potato flakes.
The pan is assembled in layers, so you will
build three main ingredients: noodles, meat
mixture, spinach mixture. Be organized.
1. Cook pasta, drain, and set aside.
2. Mix up the meat substitute with the
diced tomatoes (un-drained), and set aside.
3. Make the cheese substitute and mix with
the drained, drained, drained spinach.
Use a 9x13 baking dish, oiled on the
bottom and sides. Lay three noodles to
form the bottom, and then add a third of
the meat mixture and half of the spinach
mixture. Repeat for the next layer. Top
with four noodles instead of three, breaking
up the fourth one, and add the final third of
the meat mixture. Dot the second can of
tomato paste on the top. Bake at 350 degF
for 45 minutes. It doesnt harden into hunks
because there is no cheese in there.
Page 90
Chili Spuds
3-xtra large baking potatoes
1- 15 oz can of chili, no beans
1/2 of a 15 oz can of HOT chili, no beans
1-8 oz can of tomato sauce
1-lb of coarse ground chuck (or regular hamburger)

Scrub the potatoes extra clean so you can eat the skin if you want. Bake at 400 degF for
about 1 hour + 15 minutes, until the potato gives when squeezed with a hot pad.
With about 30 minutes to go, make the chili: brown the meat and dab out the grease,
then add everything else. Make boats out of the potatoes (see Potato Toppers) and
smother the potato in chili.

Sloppy Joe-stadas
Dare to be weird.
6-flat crunchy tostada shells. Use the broken ones for chips.
1- 15 oz can of Sloppy Joe sauce that calls for one pound of ground beef
1-small bag of shredded lettuce
1-15 oz. can of petite diced tomatoes
Taco sauce

Make the Sloppy Joe mix according to the recipe. Put a ladle-scoop of Jo mix onto a
tostada, bury in shredded lettuce, and top with some diced tomatoes. Add taco
sauce/hot sauce to taste.

Page 91
(V) Vegetarian Spaghetti
1-lb. tri-color pasta twists.
1-26 oz. can or jar of plain or vegetable spaghetti sauce
1-6 oz. can tomato paste
1-8 oz. can tomato sauce with oregano
3-tbsp oil
1/4-cup of old fashioned oats
1-lb soy meat (bulk or burgers that add up to that weight)
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/4-cup water

Mix the soy meat with salt, garlic powder, oil, oats, and water, make into meatballs. Heat
in a fry pan until cooked through and browned. Add spaghetti sauce, tomato sauce, and
tomato paste, simmer for 15 minutes on low heat. Serve over cooked pasta. May or may
not use all the sauce you decide.

Waldorf Salad
3-cup chopped apples (pick crunchy ones, wash well, leaving the peels on)
1-cup thin celery slices (chopped really small)
1/2-cup walnuts, chopped fine
1/2-cup mayonnaise sweetened with sugar
1-cup raisins
3/4-tbsp of lemon juice

Stir together and refrigerate. Done.

Page 92
Hamburgers through the Garden
1 lb. hamburger
1/2-cup oatmeal
1/2 tsp salt
2-tbsp oil

1/2 large white onion

3-large hamburger buns
1/2-head of lettuce
1-tomato

Mix up the meat, spices, oil, and oatmeal; form into three equal size balls. Press flat into
patties slightly larger than the bun size, and lay onto a griddle. Cover with aluminum foil
and cook on medium low heat until the patty is brown on top halfway from the edge to
the center. Make a slice of onion for each patty and set on top after it is flipped over,
covering again with the foil. When the burger is completely cooked, flip again, but on top
of the onion (meat no longer touching the pan) and continue cooking until the onion is
tender. For the last five minutes, set the top half of the bun on top of the burger so it
begins to warm. Remove with a spatula and set onto the lower half of the bun, making a
plate of burgers. Dress with lettuce leaves, sliced tomato, ketchup, and bread and butter
pickles.

Jalapeno Corn Bread

1-19 oz. box sweet yellow cornbread mix
1-15 oz. can creamed corn
1/2-jar sliced jalapenos, diced and drained

Mix cornbread according to directions, but substitute creamed corn for milk. Add
peppers, and bake according to directions. Makes one 8x8 baking pan heaped.

Page 93
Stuffed Bell Peppers
4-bell peppers. Pick ones that will stand up.
1-med onion, diced
1-lb. hamburger
1-15 oz. can of tomato sauce
1-6 oz. can of tomato paste

Cut out the top of each pepper like a pumpkin. Wash inside and out removing all of the
pithy membrane inside. Blanch the peppers in a pot of boiling water for 5 minutes to
soften. Gently set the softened peppers in a small baking dish after spraying the bottom
with oil (a piece of crumpled foil can be used to make sure they don't fall over). Cook the
onions in spray oil until soft. Add the hamburger, brown and drain. Mix 3/4 of the tomato
sauce and all of the tomato paste into the meat. Season with salt , and some garlic
powder (optional). Fill the peppers, pressing gently with a spoon. Pour the last of the
tomato sauce over the top, allowing it to spill into the baking dish.

Bake at 350 degF for 45 minutes uncovered.

EZ Cherry Cheesecake
2-3.4 oz. packages of instant cheesecake pudding/pie filling
2-1/2 cups of milk
1-9 oz. ready made graham cracker pie crust, extra deep kind
1-20 oz. can cherry pie filling

Put the pie crust onto a cookie sheet. Mix the pudding and milk, and pour into the pie
crust. Refrigerate for 2 hours. Pour the pie filling on top. Voila!

Page 94
Hawaiian Ham
1-6 oz box of cornbread stuffing mix
1-15 oz can of new potatoes
1-15 oz can of shredded (Italian) green beans
1-20 oz can of pineapple chunks in juice, saving 1/4 cup of the juice
1-lb ham slices
Prepare the stuffing in a small pan according to recipe, cover and set aside. In a 13x9
casserole dish, make compartments with aluminum foil (see Titanic Leftovers), but be
sure the main center compartment is leak proof by using new foil and holding up to a
light to spot pin holes. Cut the ham slices into 1 inch squares. In layers, add the ham and
pineapple chunks to the main compartment, and top with 1/4 cup of pineapple juice.
Drain the potatoes and vegetables and put into their compartments. Put the stuffing into
its compartment and add 1/8 cup of extra water so it wont dry out. Cover the entire dish
in foil, sealing the edges. Bake at 350 for 1 hour. Serve with a spoonful of raspberry jam.
Serve with an actual vegetable.

Looks like this

before you
cover it and pop
into the oven.

Page 95
Zucchini Bread
Dessert that you can claim vegetable credits for! (Does not taste like zucchini)

3-eggs
1-cup vegetable oil
2-cup sugar
2-tsp vanilla
2-cup coarsely grated zucchini, packed
1-8oz. can crushed pineapple, drained
3-cup flour
2-tsp baking soda
1-tsp salt
1/2-tsp baking powder
1-1/2 tsp cinnamon
3/4 tsp nutmeg
Zucchini looks like this
1-cup raisins
1-cup walnuts, chopped fine (optional)

In a large bowl, beat eggs. Add the oil, vanilla, and sugar and mix well. Stir in the
zucchini and pineapple. Set aside. In a separate bowl, mix flour, baking soda, salt, baking
powder, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Mix this with the contents of the wet bowl and stir well.
Add the raisins and nuts, if used. Grease and flour two 5x9 loaf pans (one of the few
times grease is acceptable). Pour the batter in and bake at 350 degF for 1 hour or until a
toothpick comes out clean. You can eat one / freeze one!

Pizza Chili Mac

3-15 oz. cans of chili mac
2-oz pepperoni, diced small
Heat-n-eat.

Page 96
Hell Raiser Pineapple Chickens
2-small baking hens, approx 4.5 lbs each. **
1-20 oz. can pineapple chunks, in juice
Salt and pepper
Spray oil a 13x9 baking dish. Fully thaw the birds and rinse in the sink shake out excess
water. Salt and pepper the inside and outside, using plenty of salt, and set in the pan -
breast side down. Tie the legs together with string, and tuck in the wings with toothpicks
so they are snug against the body. Use toothpicks to skewer the pineapple chunks into
the birds, being sure to penetrate the meat. Stab, stab, stab. Pour the pineapple juice
into the bottom of the pan. Spray oil the top exposed parts of the birds and really hose it
down. Bake uncovered at 350 degF for 30 minutes per pound based on the weight of one
bird (dont use 20 minutes per pound for the combined weight of both birds, or it will be
over-cooked). For two 4.5 lb. birds, cook time is about 2 hours and 15 minutes, but
always check with a thermometer. Its done when the skin is rich golden brown and the
meat thermometer stabbed into the thickest parts reads at least 175 degrees. Always a
mess carving these things up, but the meat will be moist.

Tips: Put a cookie sheet under the baking pan for spills. Before removing from the oven,
use a turkey baster to remove most of the hot liquid. Please be safe.

[** for a single roasting hen, it is the usual 20 minutes per pound, the rest is the same.]

Hell hath no
fury like a hen
thorned.

Page 97
Berry French Toast Bake
1- bag of frozen mixed berries (12 or 16 oz), thawed.
6-slices of bread
6-eggs or 1-1/2 cups of egg substitute
1-cup milk
1/4-c sugar
1-tsp cinnamon

Coat the inside of a 13x9 baking dish with margarine or spray oil. Thaw the berries and
add sugar so they are nice and sweet. In a large bowl, make the batter with eggs, milk,
and cinnamon. Soak the first three pieces of bread and lay in the bottom of the pan.
Cover evenly with berries. Soak the last three pieces of bread and lay on top. Bake at
350 for 45 minutes or until a toothpick in the center of the top layer of French toast
comes out clean.

Pats Dump Cake

1-20 oz. can crushed pineapple This is originally a Boy Scout Dutch oven recipe.
1-20 oz. can cherry pie filling In that case, grease the Dutch oven, line with
1-18 oz. box yellow cake mix foil, and grease the foil. Also, since the Dutch
4-oz. (or 1-stick) margarine oven has a lid, drain the pineapple juice.

Spray oil heavily into a 13 in. x9 in. baking dish. Dump the pineapple and cherry filling
into the bottom. Distribute the cake mix evenly over the top of the fruit, but do not stir.
Spoon or slice the margarine and distribute over the cake mix in dollops. Bake uncovered
at 350 degrees for 1-hour, until the cake is beginning to brown on top and the fruit is
bubbling through. Cool for a while before eating. Serves like cobbler with a large spoon.
Thanks Pat.

Page 98
Apple Pie
2-frozen 9 pie crusts from the grocery store (one is for the top)
1-20 oz. can of apple filling
8-medium apples
2 tbsp margarine
1/2-cup sugar
1/4-cup flour
1/2-tsp nutmeg and cinnamon
A pinch of salt
Peel and core the apples. Slice the apples to even thickness. It will look like too much,
but trust me it will all fit. Cook the apples in a saucepan until they start to soften, then
remove from heat and add the pie filling. Add the flour and spices, stir, and pour into the
pie plate that is upon a cookie sheet for spillage. If it still doesnt all fit, you can nibble on
what is left. Cover with the second pie shell and seal, and make slits in the top. Bake at
425 degF for 40 minutes juice will be bubbling through the slits.

Healthy Muffins
7.5-oz. package bran muffin mix (ready mix that makes 6 muffins)
3/4-cup raisins
To eat all week:
3/4-cup shredded carrots (shredded fine)
2-tbsp vegetable oil
2-packages of muffin mix
1-egg
1-heaping cup full of carrots
1/4-cup flour
and raisins
1/3 + 2 tbsp milk (1/2-cup is too much)
1/4-cup oil
Mix. It will look like Halloween, but dont worry. 1-egg
Fill muffin cups nearly full. Bake according to 1/4-cup flour or oats
package directions, but add about 5 extra 1/3-cup brown sugar
minutes. Test with a toothpick to be sure they Enough milk to make it like
are not mushy in the middle. These are very heavy cake batter
moist muffins. Makes seven big muffins. Makes 12 very large muffins

Page 99
Taco Meat
1-lb of ground beast
1-10 oz can of diced tomatoes with lime juice and cilantro
1/4-tsp salt
1 tbsp masa flour (some of the stuff in the chili kit that you didnt use, but saved)

Fry up the meat, extra extra brown. Drain/dab the grease out as best you can. Add the
diced tomatoes and the liquid, and heat to bubbling. Add the masa flour and cook for
another couple of minutes. Return to low heat and keep it there while the rest of the taco
stuff is made, like diced lettuce and warmed shells, etc. The taco meat will be very juicy,
but the juice is not grease.

A nice change from the predictable loud taco seasoning pouches. Bleccchh.

Egg Salad
8-large eggs
1-tbsp mustard
1/4-tsp salt
4 tbsp mayo
Lettuce

In a 2-quart soup pan, cover the eggs cold water. Bring to a boil and slow boil for 20
minutes. Cool in cold tap water and/or refrigerator. Peel and rinse, then dry on a paper
towel. Dice whole cooked eggs into 1/2-inch or smaller squares, into a large mixing bowl.
Add salt. Add mayo until good consistency, which will be thick enough to mound on a
spoonful but plenty moist so nobody chokes on it. Spoon onto bread and cover with
crunchy lettuce. Serve with a double ration of napkins. Makes three power sandwiches.

Page 100
Enchiladas
1-pack of 12 soft corn tortillas, 5-6 inch diameter
1-lb 80-20 ground beef
1-med onion, diced
1/2-tsp salt
1-rounded tsp taco seasoning
1-10 oz can of enchilada sauce

Cook the beef, onion, salt and taco seasoning together until very brown. Dab out grease
with paper towels. Soften the package of tortillas in the microwave 30 seconds on each
side - they'll break anyway but this helps. In a 13x9 baking dish, arrange 10 rolled tacos
filled with meat, snuggled together. Pour the enchilada sauce over the top. Bake at 400F
for 20 minutes or so until the top edges start to get crispy and the sauce is bubbling. It
breaks apart getting it out of the pan, but so what. Cheese is optional.

Cheap Chili
1-25 oz can of chili (with or without beans)
1-lb 80-20 ground beef
1-small onion or half of a medium onion, diced
1-bell pepper, cleaned and diced

Cook the beef, onion, and bell pepper together, and drain/dab out the grease. Do not
salt. Add the canned chili and warm through. Serve with cornbread or crackers.

Page 101
Titanic Leftovers
Presuming several consecutive days of successful cooking for other people, you may
collect a variety of quality leftovers in decent portions.

The Titanic was built with compartments and thus the name. Using foil and a baking
dish, create compartments for the smorgasbord. A 13 in. x 9 in. size baking dish holds
three or four portions of stuff. Adjust compartment size so the thickness of the food is
equal, for even heating. Cover with more foil so the food doesnt dry out. Heating time
varies, but 350 degF for 30-40 minutes usually does it.

Note: If you want to use second-hand foil, hold it up to the light to be sure there are no
holes, so the liquids from one compartment to the other dont mix, and the ship doesnt
sink.

Watertight foil compartments are the key.

Page 102
 The Occasional
Bachelor Cookbook