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Divorce has progressively become a common procedure worldwide, affecting not only parents and
their offspring, but also the communities that surround the family unit, and consequently presenting a
terrifying threat for the affected child. Nonetheless, regardless of the conventionality of divorce, it
persists to affect various aspects of children's' and parents daily lives and rituals. According to
Divorce or Dissolution of marriage is the ending of a marriage before the death of either
spouseit can be contrasted with an annulment, which is a declaration that a marriage is void,
though the effects of marriage may be recognized in such unions, such as spousal support of
In short, a divorce can be accomplish generally through court of law, as a legal action is needed to
dissolve the prior legal act of marriage. Although families are careworn in this situation for the reason
that all the families belong to all types of module, age brackets, religious and ethnical disparity, divorce
really became a universal trend to the entire group around the world. Divorce is a legal course of action
in separating a said relationship, in this part, families must deem the processes involved and how can
Are people taking marriage less seriously as divorce rates rise? Why are almost all couples in most
country-preferred separation as the product of their unsuccessful relationship? Many factors can
influence a persons view on marriage. For an instance, according in her book Marriages and Families,
Mary Ann Lamanna says that the couples give major reasons for failure in their first marriage and some
of these are infidelity, married too young, job conflicts, in-laws, vices, emotional, sexual, and financial
problems (552). Also in Marriage and Families: the Quest for Intimacy, Robert Lauer tells that the
sociodemographic concerns must take into consideration: socioeconomic status, race, religion, social
integration, in addition to that is the changing of norms and roles of couples (390-93). Finally, another
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factor that Lauer gives is that some couples preferred the interpersonal factors as one of the reasons:
Some people probably have an overall more positive view on marriage. Most likely, they do not see
the high divorce rate as relevant to them because they have seen that marriage can work. On the other
hand, some people have negative models of marriage. And one of that is according to Norval Glenn, that
the disagreements about demonstration of affection and sex relation is a big plus in planning of divorce
because of the following concerns: disagreement about philosophy of life, things believed is important,
amount of time spent together, furthermore the sues lag behind in their persistence (328).
Recognizing the uncertainties of couples may turn on the sparks in filling for break up according to
Lauer. Moreover, those are spouses controlling behaviors, lack of responsibility and emotional support
among the couples. Tremendous effects can happen, if such factors really violated, and the costs of these
Contradictions among couples are more or less is useful for a person to dissociate with their spouse.
These contradictions have styles: avoid, attack, and compromise. Moreover, variety of show aggression
tactics can be evidence in annulment: maligning the partner, terrible threats, flagrant self-interest,
Lamanna observes, Traditionally, as weve seen the family was a self-sufficient productive unit.
Survival was difficult outside of families, so members remained economically bound to one another.
But today, because family members no longer need each other for basic needs, they are freer to divorce
than they once were (545-46). In addition, because of that, in the environment of the couples, some
have seen some issue having some bearing on divorce rate. And for that, Christopher Doob of
Sociology: an Introduction tells that aspects: industrialization, age of the couple, changing role
definitions within marriage, and in addition to that is decreasing legal and social constraints (340-42).
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On the other hand, according to A Bit about Divorce and the Effects of Divorce on Familys Well
Being written by NRS274, Abuse-mental, abusephysical, psychosis, extreme mental illness, chronic
addiction, and substance abuse are situations where divorce should consider among husbands and wives
as a good condition. Therefore, it must put into contemplation and must apply for processing a break-
Many families around the world are noticing that there are some sources of suggestion to detachment
and aim of culpability for break-up. Glenn utters that the persons him or herself is the first one to be
point the finger at for this. It followed by the spouses own fault about what happen in their failed
marriage. Finally yet importantly, either the couples fault or the mutual part must be liable (338).
Divorce has become a long way and has changed dramatically in our community. Divorce has
become a more up to standard and general in a family unit. However, divorce has not become a positive
thing yet, it remains negative. Because a divorce break a family apart and this become a broken dream
for the two couples that have started out with hopes and dreams for a future together that ended.
Furthermore, for this, the couple has a variety of jurisdictions like methods, approaches, styles, and
tactics to follow in order to make the separation easier and more likely to make legally proclaim the
marriage as void.
Until such time that, the couples are now ready facing the court for their split-up, the research
conducted according to Glenn is to find out the top five feelings for partner at the time of the final
separation. Along with the responds of the couples during the process of divorce are quite appealing. For
the reason that some of the couples said that he/she still loved him/her. A number of couple said that they
still liked, but did not love him/her now. They respond as to they did not feel much of anything to their
spouse according to some couples. Hated him/her or both loved and hated him/her as the answer of
As the research finally conducted, he made three important events for a divorce deliberation for the
couples to study and take into thinking. These events are as follows: foreboding of possible breakup.
Next is the certainty of some couples about the end of marriage. Lastly is the filing of couples for the
said divorce (Glenn, 331). For these reasons, in the book The Social Experience: an Introduction to
Sociology, James Zanden speaks the kinds of disruptive expertise during divorce. In addition, for that he
says that most couples suffer from fright, frustration, and excess depression (356).
What happens in a family that is in the process of breaking up? Couples can use the four periods
tend to mark the process of divorce. In the first process, recognition, it begins when one or both spouses
become aware of serious problems. It actually occurs when marital stress and open conflicts followed by
a period of cold war between couples. Secondly, discussion, it is a period at which one or both spouses
begin to share the marital problems with others. Thirdly, action, one of the spouses secures a lawyer in
order to legalized and dissolve the marriage. Last but not the least, post dissolution, wherein the period
begins when both spouses accept the fact that the marriage has ended (Lauer, 387-89).
The divorce process is a turning point in the life of each individual involved. Months and often years
of couples or individuals struggling with the decision to end a marriage most often precede initiation of
legal processes associated with divorce and normally follow the different methods instructed for the
couple in order to make a choice in which method can be good for them. One of the basic is the
approach method. In this method, couples can choose either the no-fault divorce or the at-fault
divorce. In the first approach, the dissolution of marriage does not require an allegation of proof of
fault of either party to show. In the second approach, is use to be the only way to break a marriage and
Another method that is use worldwide, according to Wikipedia.com, is the following: summary
divorce or so-called simple divorce in which use when souses meet certain eligibility requirements, or
can agree on key issues beforehand. Another method that can couple use is uncontested divorce where
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the two parties are able to come to an agreement (either with or without lawyers/ mediators/
collaborative counsel) about the property, children, and support issues. Next, collaborative divorce
explains that the parties negotiate an agreed resolution with the assistance of attorneys who trains in this
process and in mediation, and often with the assistance of a neutral financial specialist and/or divorce
coaches. After that, couples can use the mediated divorce in which it is an alternative to traditional
divorce litigation.
Paul Bohannan discusses divorce in terms of six stations or six different experiences that people
are likely to have. Divorce, by contrast, makes you feel so awful, in part, because you have been de-
selected. To some extent, de-selection occurs in each of the six stations of divorce. The emotional
divorce involves a loss of trust, respect, and affection for each other. The legal divorce, in which a court
officially ends the marriage, is the only one of the six stations that provides a tangible benefit to the
partners. The economic divorce involves settlement of the property. The co-parental divorce is
experienced by those with the childrendecisions must be made about who will have custody, visitation
rights, and continuing responsibilities of each parent. The community divorce means that each of the
partners leaves one community of friends and relations and enters another. Finally, psychic divorce is the
Michelle New, in her article on Dealing with Divorce, gives suggestions to make the split-up more
convenient to the pair for the reason that the couples are having a hard time experiencing the severe
process of separation in their physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual aspects in their lives.
Since proven already in some cases of divorce, she utters the following suggestions like keep the peace
among the parents. Couples must be fair and not to take sides and find help from the one who knows
the case like a counselor or therapist. Keep in touch to one another and have an open yet strong
communication. Work it out and come up on an idea to compromise. Let the couples talk and predict
about the future after the divorce and for the children to pick a good time to tell their parents about their
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concerns so that it could be fix on an earlier time. For the couples, figure out his or her strengths and if
the pair needs help in figuring out their strengths and figuring how to deal with cope, ask for guidance.
Another good suggestion is to live your own life and make it feel sweeter and livelier. Thus, couples
must focus on his or her own plans and dreams. As a final point, let others support and talk about your
feelings and reactions to divorce with someone that he or she feel trusted.
In the divorce methodology, there are things that need to be agreed upon so that there would be no
problems that the parents or the couples will encounter after the marriage becomes void. One of these
things that should take care of is the supervision of the child and the equity of the couples in terms of
their financial stocks and assets. According to Lauer, there are types of custodies that the couple can
choose for their children. It is either the sole custody or the joint custody. Lauer expands the meaning of
these and for the first one, he explains that in which one of the parents gives the responsibility for the
care and rising of the child. On the other hand, couples can choose an arrangement in which both parents
continue to share the responsibility for the care and raising of the children (404-05). For the financial
assets and stocks of the couples, valuable but often intangible assets that must go legally with the
husband or the male during the marriage are the following: the credits, pensions, insurances,
entitlements, professional credentials and future earning power while the rest of the financial concerns
With these things happened to the families who have experience the sad outcomes of divorce, Norval
Glenns book entitled Family Relations: a Reader, he pronounces, Marriage is notoriously different
from men and women, and the reconstruction of failed marriages is no exceptionmen recall greater
consensus, companionship, compatibility in affection realms, and harmony then women recall (329).
As a result, the worst scenario of divorce according to SOPHIA87 on her essay, Divorce Argument
Essay, she utters, Divorce has progressively become a common procedure worldwide, affecting not
only parents and their offspring, but also the community that surrounds the family unit, and
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consequently presenting a terrifying threat for the affected child. In addition to what SOPHIA87 utters,
As a couple moves toward divorce, they balance all of the anticipated moral, social, economic,
and familial consequences against their satisfactions, securities, and unhappiness as they weigh
the alternatives; they can expect to go through periods of agonizing, indecision, ambivalence,
After the grueling experience, in the first two years experience of divorced family, Fine, Moreland, and
Schwael speak, That the first two years after divorce are especially difficult: divorced parents do not
communicate as well with their children, are less affectionate, and are more inconsistent discipliners
than parents in intact families are (quoted in Zanden, 357). To end with, Lamanna also declares the
separation anxiety of the family affected on divorce, One of the more difficult and recurrent moments
in life after divorce, is the transfer of the child from one parent to the other so each time, parents and
We have seen that gender roles diminish communication and understanding between women and
men. Perhaps nowhere is the lack of understanding more evident than in the debate over which partner
the ex-wife or ex-husband is the victim of divorce. Both are victims. In addition, the implications of
these see in the first years after divorce or even the latter years of it. The effects of divorce on spouses/
parents are the following: negative outcomes, health problems, financial problems, and lastly, positive
outcomes.
The unenthusiastic products of divorce to the couples according to Doob are instead of having
been selected out of the world, the former spouse feels deselected. Economically, women tend to
suffer more from divorce than men do. Indications that in many cases, men have a time that is more
difficult in adjusting to divorce than woman do. Additionally, age is another social characteristic that
appears to affect peoples adjustment to divorce. Lastly, the unhappiness associated with most divorces
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does not mean that unhappily married people should stay married (342-43). Likewise, SOPHIA87 says
again on her essay, Divorce Argument Essay, that feelings of inadequacy, instability, and deprivation,
depression resulting to resentment, aggression, and mood alterations are the injurious effects of divorce
on most couples worldwide after the separation. Zanden also dictates that prone to die from accidents,
homicides, and suicides where the greater effects of separated people (355). In the suicide rate research
conducted by Doob, for divorced women, it has been three times suicide rate of woman who are
divorced than that of married women. Furthermore, four times is the suicidal rate of divorced men than
married men have killed themselves (342). Divorced people have higher rates of accidents, physical and
mental health problems (including anxiety and depression), and alcoholism. Physical health problems
occur because the stress of the divorce tends to suppress the functioning of the bodys immune system
said Gottman (Lauer, 397). Among other things, an updated analysis of Leonor Wietzman, 1985: shows
that, within a year after the divorce was finalized, men experience about a 10 percent improvement in
their standard of living, while womens standard of living drops about 27 percent Yet the division of
labor in the family, along with the experiences and special skills of each partner, mean that men and
women are unequal in terms of their resources and opportunities (quoted in Lauer, 398). However,
people after divorce troubled by anger, insecurity, and depression, they had some positive experiences as
well. Divorce is more likely to be positive for females, particularly those with a high level of education;
those who are relatively young; those in relatively short-lived marriages; those with adequate income;
and those holding to more gender that is nontraditional and marital roles. In addition, a positive outcome
is more likely for those with good social support according to Garvin, Kalter, and Hansell, 1993 (Lauer,
397).
Childrens adjustment to the divorce depends in part on the behavior of the parents. If the divorce
reduces conflict significantly, children adjust better. The parents will adjust better to the extent
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that they work through their feelings and are able to define the divorce as an opportunity to grow
(407).
Doob declares about divorce on children, Even though divorce is painful for children, research has
found that they prefer the post-divorce period to the time when the family was still intact (344).
Certainly, many offspring endure because of divorce. Nevertheless, what is the over all picture? To
begin, the number of children whose parents are divorce has been increasing. Following divorce, the
relationship between children and the non-resident parent tends to change dramatically. Whats more,
Lauer found out the short-term upshot of divorce. And these are intense anger, self-blame, fears about
the future, loyalty conflicts, lower physical health ratings, lower social competence, anxiousness,
depression, withdrawal, eating problems, less maternal warmth and empathy, low academic standing,
and lastly, vices. These various consequences are understandable. Children are likely to have more
stressed because they have no control over what is happening to them and see no long-term benefits to
the disruption (400-01). Fortunately, the picture is not as bleak when we look at longer-term
consequences. There may be some positive outcomes for the children according to Demo and Acock,
1998. Children in single parent homes are more likely to be androgynous in the behavior. Adolescent in
single parent homes are tend to be more mature and to have a greater sense of efficacy and responsibility
(401). To sum it all up, Lauer expresses the principle for enhancing intimacy to children, Help the
children to understand that neither parent is divorcing them. Do not ask them to choose the parent with
whom they want to live. Let them know that both parents continue to love them even though the family
Separation by divorce, like death, inflicts a painful emotional wound that must heal. A little book
entitled How to Survive the Loss of a Love: 58 Things to Do when there is nothing to be done suggests
some ways to facilitate the healing process. For the divorced couples, do your mourning now and be
gentle with yourself. Do not take on new responsibility and do not blame yourself for any mistakes that
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you have done before. It is okay to feel depressed for a longer period of time but do not involved
yourself on romance that fast. Do not try against obvious ads to rekindle the old relationship so find
photographs and mementos helpful to the mourning process and use them as positive materials. It is also
okay to feel anger toward God, society, or the person who left you. In health and medical aspects, use
addictive description drugs wisely so that it will further help you ease the pain. Be careful and watch
your nutrition since nutritious food can give you a sense of positivism. Do not also try to overindulge
yourself on vices but a little yet comfort pampering yourself will give you warmth. You might find
keeping and using journals or diaries because it is a helpful tool to cope up. In addition, to finish, heal at
To look at the bigger picture and in general view, Breakinglaces on her essay about Positive Effects
of Divorce on Children, acquaints with the people about the term divorce in the society today, Divorce
will always be a tough situation for the parents and children involved, but that does not mean that it has
to be negative one. The term divorce has been, in recent years, coined with a negative connotation. This,
however, is out-dated and one sided. With the recent studies and the help of psychologists, the term
Works Cited
Breakinglaces. Positive Effects of Divorce on Children. Oppapers. 24 Oct. 2005. 19 Aug. 2008
< http://www.oppapers.com/essays/Positve-Effects-Divorce-Children/67903>.
Coleman, and Norval D. Glenn. Family Relations: a Reader. California: Wadsworth Publishing
Company, 1988.
Doob, Christopher Bates. Sociology: an Introduction 3rd Edition. San Francisco: Holt, Rinehart, and
Lauer, Jeanette and Robert. Marriage and Family: the Quest for Intimacy 3rd Edition. New York:
New, Michelle. Dealing with Divorce. Kidshealth.org. Aug. 2007. 19 Aug. 2008
<http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/divorce.html>.
NRS274. A Bit about Divorce and Effects of Divorce on a Familys Well Being. Oppapers. 6 June
Being/60178>.
Riedmann, and Mary Ann Lamanna. Marriages and Families: Making Choices and Facing Change 4th
<http://www.oppapers.com/essays/Divorce-Argument-Essay/135266>.
Divorce. Wikipedia: the Free Encyclopedia. 10 Sept. 2008. Wikipedia.com. 19 Aug. 2008
<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce>.
Zanden, James Vander. The Social Experience: an Introduction to Sociology. New York: Random