Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Karin Beshay
John F. Kennedy
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES 2
Abstract
The purpose of this research Is to clarify how raising children is different across cultures
especially Asian, Americans and Arab cultures and the high standards parents put for their kids.
The values and beliefs parents stick to which are based on culture and the History behind it is
highlighted through the comparison between Western- style and Eastern- style parents. Scientific
research conducted by Stanford and Sara Harkness and Charles M. Super established norms used
by parents to discipline their kids according to their cultural codes. By clarifying this Information
It will inform people about different cultures and help them be more accepting and understanding
Raising children seems to differ across cultures especially in Asian, American , Arab
cultures. The way they raise their children and discipline them in certain ways are the reason
why they are who they are and we can notice the differences between them. Every culture has its
norms and traditions that they keep and care so much to align with. I believe parenting kids is
one of the hardest jobs parents can have because it's so important how they teach their kids and
help them learn more things in life and at the same time following their cultures codes. They
also might be judged if they did not follow these norms even if they wrong for the kid from the
first place. Raising children across cultures differ because of their norms that they are used to,
the way parents discipline their kids and the background the family is coming from.
Initially for asian cultures parents tend to be more strict and they always expect their children
to be in a certain standard. They raise their kids with the idea of failure is not accepted cause
effort always pays off. Otherwise in arab cultures which is little bit more different than any cause
its more influenced by Islam cause mostly arab nations live in the middle east and north africa.
Girls are raised differently than boys and each one of them has their own job and they can not
change it because it's basically one the important values arabs have. American parents tend to
provide support and control while some others provide low support and high control. They raise
their kids to work from an early age to pay their bills by themselves and care fairly about their
education. According to Scientific research, Parents from around the world have universal
feelings of love, affection and hope for their children, but cultural values and expectations can
color how these emotions are communicated(Christensen, 2013). Also parents have different
definition of being successful and that's what theirs strategies in parenting are based on. Parents
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES 4
generally raise their children with the goal of molding them into effective adults. But the
definition of an effective, productive member of society differs from culture to culture: How
is defined by what ethics, mores and standards of life practice the culture in question possesses(
Bernstein, 2016). Parenting Is influenced by culture and parents start worrying about it before
their children Is even born.Culture-specific influences on parenting begin long before children
are born, and they shape fundamental decisions about which behaviors parents should promote in
their children and how parents should interact with their children (Bornstein,2013)
Starting with Arab culture and dissecting their beliefs, They have the mindset of Women
are more likely doing all their work at home, taking care of the kids and managing the house
while the father is the one who takes the big decisions. The family is the cornerstone of the
arab americans culture. Final authority rests with the father or, in his absence with the oldest
male in the family major decisions, such as the choice of a partner or a career, are impacted by
family expectation.(Abudabbeh,2005). Arab families the father holds the highest position and
has to be respected. He is in control of the family and is expected to cover all financial issues and
the one that should be asked first about major decisions of the family. A man in Arab families
grows up knowing that he will have a big responsibility in the future and that shapes him to be
the kind of man that expects his wife to be obedient to him. Thats why arab cultures face the
problem of gender equality.For example if a man is incapable of taking care of the family
and anything less is not accepted and will lead to criticism from the rest of the family. From their
point of view the parents are doing their best to educate their children, pay money for their
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES 5
education so if their kids are not doing their part thats considered so shameful. A mother is
expected to take care of the kids and the house in general. Girls are impacted by their family
backgrounds and tend to stick with the traditions and grow up knowing they have to be good
academically and are able to take care of the house, their siblings from an early age. They have
to learn cooking from an early age as well. The cycle goes on and one and a mother should be
protective if her kids are not doing their part as expected. Suhail had had difficulties with his
academic work prior to his arrival in the united states. Its struggle with education had affected
the family dynamics, as it made him more of a target for criticism by the males in the family,
thus pushing his mother to become more protective.(Abudabbeh,2005). At the end both parents
are responsible for supporting the family and following their traditional codes of parenting as a
way of honoring their culture. Whatever happens in the family has to be kept as a secret between
family members cause Arabs value privacy at home at a big capacity. both men and women are
expected to contribute to the support and maintenance of the family and according to the
traditional codes of family and honor and are responsible for the rearing of the children. In crisis
both are expected to view the good of the family above the fulfillment of traditional wishes and
self satisfaction.(Abudabbeh,2005).
American Parents have way different codes that they believe In. White cultures are more
open-minded than arabs and asians although not all white people are like that. Support for each
parent has a different definition some think by letting them be responsible and working is
supporting them while others see it differently in which they care more about their kids
education and their relationships. They get so protective sometimes. The little seems to feel at a
surprisingly early age that he has a part on the stage of the world, and in willing enough to act a
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES 6
little before his time. Even then, it seems, american children had attitude. (Fass,2013).
American kids are used to being responsible of themselves at an early age. For instance they start
working starting from high school. Some care about work more than school as well. That shape
them to be maturing faster and getting familiar with the real tough world and also make them act
older than they actually are and sometimes having attitude towards their parents or not valuing
them as it should be. After his travels, he noted that in the united states children were early
emancipated from parental authority and domestic discipline children accustomed to the utmost
familiarity and absence of constraint with their parents, behave in the same manner with other
older persons, and this sometimes deprives the social intercourage of american of the tint of
politeness which is more habitual in europe.(Fass, 2013). This proves that being exposed to the
ough world from an early age makes the child think that he is not any different than his parents
and what they do. That increases the causality in the conversation they have with the elder or
sometimes less respect. That changed in society gradually as in the old days kids used to pay
attention to how they talk to their parents and express whatever they want to say in a respectful
and formal way. For instance these days it's normal that kids cuss in front of their parents as if
it's normal also parents now stopped paying attention to their language in front of their kids.
People changed and their beliefs became more open than before. American children considered
independence associates table right and fathers and sons treated each other with for less
formality than europe, since american opportunities for individual advancement beckoned,
children started to work early, according to gurowski, and were, as a result, treated more equally
within the household.(Fass,2013). This also shows how generational effects can have an impact
on the relationship between parents and their kids. American kids became more independent and
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES 7
that raised the equality in treating elders and young adults. Back in the old days it was common
that we should talk formally to elders regardless of the age.When It comes to morals and values
Europeans and Arabs are different.Most Europeans, for example, take a fairly relaxed view of
alcohol and sex, while giving low priority to religion. Asian and Middle Eastern parents usually
encourage traditional values of morality and virtue. When it comes to parental values, the U.S. is
truly a melting pot, with parental views ranging from highly conservative to
permissive.(Christensen, 2013)
On the other hand, Asian culture which has its own unique different codes than American
ones. Scientific research spotted out some differences that seem Interesting because how children
react differently to similar Issues. Chinese cultures is largely influenced by a philosophy this
philosophy emphasizes respect for authority, devotion to parents, emotional restraint, and the
importance of education: chinese parenting are based on the concepts of Chiao shun (to train)
and juan (to govern and to love).(Frances McClelland Institute, 2010). Asian cultures in
general have their own unique philosophy with their kids and its more authoritarian emphasizing
education. They care to train their kids well to be successful in their live and to govern and love
them to reach the highest goals. In the asian american family model, the author suggest,
children learn the value of being independent with ones mother. In contrast european american
families tend to emphasize that the person is and should be independent even from ones mother.
The focus is on developing self esteem and self efficiency in the child.(Parker,2014). Asians
grow up at home with their mothers learning from them how to be Independent while In
American families a person should be Independent from the moment they are born.They also
push their kids to dedicate more time to study. Their definition of support is when they push their
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES 8
kids to reach their highest standards and by that they have to be successful and that their kids will
thank them later for doing that.Asian american students experienced more independence with
their mothers and pressure from then, but the pressure does not strain their relationships with
their mothers as much as it does with european american , according to the study, asian american
students compared with european american ones are more motivated by their mothers and
2014) I believe there are two ways of being pressured from parents and it shows here the type of
pressure that leaves a good mark on the kid and the other type that might weaken the relationship
between them both. Research also shows that the pressure from Asian mothers tend to motivate
their kids to do better and not affect their relationship while American kids cant stand pressure
The research findings suggest that asian american and europeans american truly see
moms differently for example asian american high schoolers were more likely to talk about their
relationships with their mothers than were european american. Asian americans more often noted
that their moms helped them with homework or pushed them to succeed.(Parker,2014).
Research proved that Asian kids can talk more about their moms and I believe thats because
how close they are to each other in spending time with them and also pushing them to be on top
of everything. One way Asian mothers help their kids is by helping them reach their academic
goals and that builds a close relationship with them that will last even If It was not valued at that
time .Adolescents are responsible for many family functions, including caring for siblings and
family members, cleaning the house and cooking meals. Emotional expression is considered
harmful to ones self and relationships and children are encouraged to avoid it. Such practices
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES 9
create the saving face this value or behaviour is related to shame because it rewards
Teenegers are expected to take care of their younger siblings and be the second mother to
them. Especially girls should help in the house and do what an independent women do. Asian
culture dont support emotional expression to be able to survive and be able to overcome
whatever circumstances with courage and triumph over weakness. Also because what society
values or look for in a person.Filipino American tend to be based more on equality than
hierarchy. Family culture allows for affection and closeness and parents act as protectors of the
children particularly daughters. These relationships are based on the concept of utang loob
(reciprocal relationships). (Frances McClelland Institute, 2010). Filipinos care for equality and
they give space to love and protect their kids to provide for them the best environment to grow as
a healthy person that will be able to be mentally emotionally physically healthy and stable.
Overall their relationships with theirs kids are about loving and supporting one another.
Kids naturally imitate their parents. psychologists having long argued that infants quite
literally find themselves through others. This initially happens through time spent with their
parents and cultural norms reproduced through parenting behaviour.(Carr,2016) For instance a
daughter starts having the idea that she has to help her mom with all the house works and boys
tend to learn from his father how to work outside of the house and earning money. Girls and
boys get education but it's more important for men to get higher degrees so they can get more
money cause they are the ones taking care of the house financially.Embedded in the settings of
the childs daily life are culturally regulated customs and practices of child care: so commonly
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES
10
used used by members of the comm and so thoroughly integrated into the larger culture that they
seem like obvious and natural solutions to everyday problems. (Harkness, Super, 2009)
Obviously a childs life is impacted by the culture they live in and the background of the family
and what circumstances they went through. Parents seem to stick with their traditional codes to
Understanding parents ideas is essential for interpreting the way that they behave with their
children, but this is not always because many such beliefs, like their related systems of care, are
taken for granted ideas about what is normal or desirable for children of any particular age.
(Harkness, Super, 2009). Every parent aside from their traditional codes that they care to follow
they have their own codes as well. They have expectations and strategies to raise their kids that
only them think are the right way. For example if a person grows up with an abusive father or
himself being abused he will start planning for his future to avoid for that same situation to
happen again with their kids. Everyone of us wants to provide a better life than what they grew
up with If wasnt good enough. We tend to plan it and work on it to make sure we build better
future for our kids.Research on dynamic relations between culture and parenting is increasingly
focused on which aspects of culture moderate parenting cognitions and practices and how they
do so, as well as on when and why links between parenting cognitions and practices and
childrens development are culturally general versus culturally specific. (Bornstein, 2013)
Children's developmental codes are created not only by their parents, of course, but also
by aspect of wider culture such as an urban or rural environment, unfortunately by major social
When a child grows up certain way with certain traditions, they tend to treat their kids with that
same way however if they went through a difficult time in their childhood the opposite occurs
and they make sure to avoid all the wrong methods and foundations that were built that
weakened the family bond. Another factor that have a big impact is where the family lives either
urban or rural environment. In rural environment they are less exposed to the modern life as a
result their relationships with their parents are the same as many years ago. While developed
areas seem to be more modern and change their values and codes faster. That's why a generation
is different from the other because of the traditions, norms and beliefs they grew up with.
schools, other parents, mental health services, and child support workers who are not familiar
with different parenting beliefs and practices. This might include telling their children they
should avoid friendships with the opposite sex, or to always put family needs above their own.
These traditional values are often very different to the way things are done in their new countrys
culture.(Carr, 2016). Challenges that we face everyday or In society In general is raising our
kids especially If it's in a foreign country because that might have a big impact on them and
change their way of thinking. Another problem that caused culture clashing is that not everyone
is aware of what others believe in. This also can create stereotypes because people only know
about other cultures from the Tv or Social media which sometimes show a false picture that leads
to judging others. What our nation need is unity, awareness and acceptance of one anothers
beliefs. Living in a foreign might increase the chances of parents being more protective. For
Instance some parents will add a lot of restrictions like not talking to the opposite-sex or not
surrounding themselves with people that have different faith than they do. The cycle goes on but
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES
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I believe If the relationship between parents and their kids are strong enough it will never let a
sprinkle of doubt come into anyones head and building that trust will make it easier to
communicate. Its also proven that If parents became over-controlling that might affect the kids
behaviour in a bad way as well. Rather than dictate their child, authoritative parents listen to
their childs point of view and make suggestions and provide direction. Because older children,
especially teenagers, have an innate psychological need to assert their independence and develop
their independent sense of self apart from their parents, much previous research has concluded
that this type of parenting yields the healthiest and most emotionally and mentally stable
children- at least for Western cultures.(Chang, 2007). At the same time neglecting does not
seem like a good Idea to strengthens this bond. This kind of neglect can be very dangerous to a
child because it affects his sense of self, self-esteem, and well-being. This impacts a childs
ability to trust not only relationships, but also adults. It also makes him take on
responsibilities far too early, robbing him of his childhood.(Gross, 2015). Being moderate will
work in building a healthier generation that is able to accept one another and do the right thing at
In Conclusion,Raising children across cultures differ because of their norms that they are
used to, the way parents discipline their kids and the background the family is coming from.
Every culture has its own norms that they are used to and everyone should learn to accept others
codes In parenting so It can be used In a good way to learn from others. Culture has a big impact
on parenting and kids that they have no control on but by accepting others and being aware that
will drive us to live in a healthy society that seeks to know more about others.
Running head: RAISING CHILDREN ACROSS CULTURES
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Reference
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Mcclelland Institute. (2010). Cultural Differences in Parenting Practices: What Asian American
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