TECHNIQUES

with CHILDREN AND

THEIR FAMILIES that
FIT WELL WITH SOLUTION-
FOCUSED THERAPY

Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S

Professor, Counseling & Counselor Education Program
Texas Christian University, Fort Worth, TX USA
AAMFT Clinical Fellow & Approved Supervisor
f.thomas@tcu.edu

TECHNIQUES
with CHILDREN AND THEIR
FAMILIES that
FIT WELL WITH SOLUTION-
FOCUSED THERAPY
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
Professor, Counseling & Counselor Education Program
Texas Christian University, Fort Worth, TX USA
AAMFT Clinical Fellow & Approved Supervisor
f.thomas@tcu.edu
A Solution-Building Stance
Nonjudgmental listening is essential.
The focus of attention is on what the child and
family are asking for in the therapeutic situation
and what the role of the therapist is to be.
This involves the development of a positive
interaction which fosters an awareness of
change, directed by the child & family and
reinforced by the therapist.
The essential position of the therapist is
curiosity.
A Solution-Building Stance
A great deal of this approach is not so much
about changing anything but rather everyone
everyone -- learning how to pay attention
differently.
The greatest asset in being a solution-building
therapist is relentless optimism.
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
PROGRAM DESCRIPTION:
Most assumptions and techniques of the
solution-focused (SF) approach were created
for individual adult or adolescent clients. This
interactive workshop will expose participants to
SF assumptions necessary in working with
families, including collaborative goal-setting
and systemic interaction that includes children,
plus multiple SF techniques for use with
children and their families. Practical, hands-on
learning will be our focus.
A Solution-Building Stance
Assumption: if one part of a system changes,
other changes will occur.
Eliciting information about the childs and
parents competencies and resources is tied
closely to positively impacting their lives.
This approach is not impressed with symptoms
or troublesome behavior. Therapy is a time to
practice new behaviors, to create a theme of
competence, and be supported by a
compassionate professional in this affirming
change-adventure.
WHAT MAKES IT
SOLUTION-FOCUSED?
CURIOSITY
RESPECT
TENTATIVENESS
NONPATHOLOGIZING
1
 Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S

WHAT MAKES IT Stages of Solution-Building

SOLUTION-FOCUSED? (De Jong & Berg, 2013)
Future focus -- Therapists have
goals are co-created expertise, too Describing the Problem
by therapist & Strengths &
client(s) resources matter Developing Well-Formed Goals
Focus on Do more of what (Future Focus)
exceptions works Exploring for Exceptions
Clients are Stop doing what
competent End-of-Session Feedback
does not work
Focus on the Doesnt work? Do Evaluating Client Progress
change-able something
Clients know their different(ly)
experiences

Ericksons Six Core Strategies

Tied to Solution-Focused Techniques Other Intervention Strategies
(Short et al., 2005)
Distraction: Presuppositional Q?s Reframing (Reorientation)
Partitioning: Goal-Setting, Miracle Q?s Pattern Interruption (Molnar & de Shazer,
Progression: Scaling Q?s 1987)
Suggestion: Presuppositional Q?s, Psychoeducation
Miracle Q?s
Social Networking
Reorientation: Miracle Q?s, Exception
Q?s, Externalization (Narrative)
Utilization: Exceptions, Strengths,
Resources, Cooperating with
Resistance

Interactional MIRACLE QUESTION
(Reorientation, Suggestion)
Go for specifics the morning after
Stay with what they would do and what
they would notice was different
Ask, and then, how would you respond
if she (he) did that?
Frequently ask others, Would that be a
good thing for you, if she (he) did that?
and if you did that just a little bit
more
Techniques:
MIRACLE QUESTIONS (2)
a. SFT Miracle question:
If a miracle were to happen tonight
while you were asleep and tomorrow
morning you awoke to find that this
problem were no longer a part of your life,
what would be different? What would be
the first SMALL thing that will indicate to
you that this miracle had taken place?
How would other people be able to tell
without you telling them?

AAMFT Portland, October 2013 2


Techniques:
MIRACLE QUESTIONS (3)
b. Video description question:
Let's say that we have two video tapes
of you, one is in the past when the
problem was really getting in the way for
you and the other is sometime in the near
future when things are better. What's
most noticeable in the tape of you in the
future that will tell us that things are better
for you?
GOALS: The First Small Step
(Partitioning)
Creating goals should focus on the beginning of
the therapy process rather than the end or result
With families: (say to one member), What would
be the first small step you would (not could) take
tomorrow, if this miracle were to happen?
Then ask another member, and what would
you do then? (as a response to the first
persons change)
Continue asking around
Repeat with another family member
Techniques:
COPING QUESTIONS
(Reorientation)
(to Parent): What do you do to barely cope
each day?
How do you keep going every day?
How did you manage to get up this morning?
So you thought seriously about giving up
(Parent's words). How did you manage to
get to this appointment?
So the problem isn't any better. Many times,
problems get worse with time...What have
you been doing to keep the problem from
getting any worse?
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
TECHNIQUES for MIRACLE QUESTION:
STORYBOARD MIRACLE
(Black, 2010)
Progressive drawing of a family/child miracle
Ask the Miracle Question
Ask the child to draw a picture of the first
thing that would happen in the miracle day,
then chronologically draw frame after frame
as s/he moves through the morning (or day)
Curiosity centers on Tell me about this part
of the miracle and Then what happens?
Keeps the Miracle Question concrete and
specific
Helps with child expression, voice
GOALING EXERCISE
(Partitioning)
Ask: What do you WANT? (stay away from
what they do NOT want)
Ask: What are YOU willing to change to
make this situation better?
Ask another family member: Would that
change make a positive difference for
you?
Ask: What would that change look like if I
saw you doing that?
Ask: What would be the first small step you
would take?
Ask: Is this possible? Is this realistic, given
your situation?
Techniques:
Do Something Different
(Pattern Interruption)
(de Shazer & Molnar, 1984)
Do something different the next time
Jamie throws a tantrum, no matter how
strange, or weird, or off-the-wall what
you do might seem. The only important
thing is that whatever you decide to do,
you need to do something different.
(p. 301)
3

Techniques:
Do Something Different (2)
(de Shazer & Molnar, 1984)
People often need permission to try
something besides what they've
always tried (which always seems to
result in the same outcome). As
simple as this seems, it can be a
powerful intervention.
Techniques:
Everything is an Experiment
(Reorientation) (Thomas, 1999)
Id like for you to do _______ (whatever you all
agree on) this week. But remember: this is
not permanent -- its just an experiment. If
you like how it goes, we can talk about
continuing it. If you dont, you only have to
do it for a week.
When change isnt assigned or required, people
are more likely to try out a different way of
thinking, behaving, or interacting. To commit
to a weeks trial is very different than any
from now on, to succeed, you must . . .
Also, failures (by your standards or theirs!)
are time-limited!
Techniques:
EXCEPTION-FINDING QUESTIONS (2)
There are times, I am sure, when you would
expect the problem to happen, but it
doesn't. How do you get that to happen?
(ALWAYS assuming that the Parent(s) and
Child have some element of CONTROL over
the change that has taken place.)
What is different when the problem could
have gotten the best of you, but you did
something to prevent it? What did you
do?
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
Techniques:
Do Something Different (3)
(de Shazer, 1985)
Between now and next time we meet, we
would like each of you once to, do something
different, when you catch Mary watching TV
instead of doing what she needs to be doing, no
matter how strange or weird or off-the-wall what
you do might seem. The only important thing is
that whatever you decide to do, you need to, do
something different. (de Shazer, 1985, p. 123)
Techniques:
EXCEPTION-FINDING QUESTIONS
(Reorientation)
Enhancing existing and past
successes
Identifying exceptions to problem-
dominated perceptions and behaviors
SFBT assumes exceptions happen all
the time!
Techniques:
EXCEPTION-FINDING QUESTIONS (3)
Who else noticed that change?
In what way could you tell that s/he
noticed?
When is it less frequent (intense,
severe)?
When is it different in any way?
How did you figure out that doing
__________ helps?
4

Techniques:
EXCEPTION-FINDING QUESTIONS (4)
(see Thomas, 2010)
Exceptions can relate to part of
ones experience
What percentage do you have some
control over?
Only work on experiences within the
controllable portion
Connecting contexts
school home
Techniques:
MAKING SENSE OF THE
EXCEPTIONS (2)
What about you helped you to be able to do
this?
Did you know before you did _________ that
you would be able to do it? How did you
know that about yourself?
What was different about this situation
compared with one when the problem was
more in charge? What was different
about you?
Techniques (Pattern Interruption):
Fool Your Parent(s)
(to Sarah, the IP): I need your help this week.
I think your parent can't tell the difference
between when you are REALLY out-of-control
and when you are doing it on purpose. I'd like
for you to pick one time this week and act a
LITTLE out-of-control on purpose. Don't tell
Mom/Dad when that is, but be sure to be ready
to tell me when you did it, OK?
Mom, I'd like for you to keep track of the times
you think Sarah is getting out-of-control on
purpose. Note the situation on a sheet of paper
you know, day, time, what happened and
bring it with you next time.
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
Techniques:
MAKING SENSE OF THE
EXCEPTIONS
Making exceptions meaningful
Unique account questions =
You are special!
How do you account for your ability to do
this?
Is this something that surprised you about
yourself...the fact that you were able to stand
up to the problem in this way?
Techniques:
MAKING SENSE OF THE
EXCEPTIONS (3)
Did this escape from the problem come easily
to you, or was it something you found difficult?
a. (if response is that it was easy):
How do you account for your ability to
make something other people find very
difficult seem easy?
b. (if response is that it was difficult):
How do you account for your ability to
do something like this even though it
was hard to do?
Techniques:
Fool Your Parent(s) (2)
This, like the pretend task, can upset several
patterns. First, if the Parent feels she has
superior knowledge of Sarah's motives, then
(more than likely) Sarah will provide an event
that breaks the Parents stranglehold by fooling
her. Also, this puts Sarah in a position of
controlling her behavior, albeit negatively (for the
moment!), which makes her impulsive behavior
controllable. Finally, this may interrupt the
Parents normal procedures around trying to
control Sarah / get Sarah under control, which
haven't been successful and have led to
counseling.
5

Techniques: HIGHLIGHTING
PRE-SESSION CHANGE
Many people experience changes around their
problem between the time they call for the first
appointment and the first session, often for the
better. Have you experienced any positive
changes since you first called?
What positive thing do you think ______
(partners name) would say about you, now that
you've gained more control of your depression?
So you've noticed less anxiety in your life since
your first called. How did you do that?
So things have changed a bit for you. What
have you been doing the past week that brought
this about?
Techniques:
Pay Attention To When Things
Are A Little Better
(de Shazer & Molnar, 1984)
Pay attention to what you do when you
overcome the temptation or urge to . . .
(perform the symptom or some behavior
associated with the complaint), and come
back and tell me about it next time.
Nothing happens all the time (M. Durrant)
The results of this noticing task can be very
powerful, and everyone can participate
Techniques:
PRESUPPOSITIONAL QUESTIONS (2)
So you've noticed less fighting among
your children since your first called,
Father. How did you do that?
So things have changed a bit for you.
What have you been doing the past
week that brought this about?
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
Techniques:
Observing Differently
(de Shazer & Molnar, 1984)
Between now and the next time we meet, I
want you to observe, so that you can tell me
next time, what happens in your _______
(life, family, school, or relationship) that you
want to continue to have happen.
People tend to be problem-saturated in their
descriptions, explanations, and (therefore)
experience. Bringing focus to other, less
dominant experiences and themes allows them
to notice WHEN other events and experiences
are happening, creating hope and future vision.
Techniques:
PRESUPPOSITIONAL QUESTIONS (1)
Many people experience changes around their
problem between the time they call for the
first appointment and the first session, often
for the better. What positive changes have
you experienced since you first called?
What would ______ (Child, Mother) say about
you now that you've gained more control of
your situation?
Techniques:
Pride Round
(Tolksdorf, 2007)
In groups of children or with families
I often tell them that I am really proud of them.
Instead of me telling them all the time, I often
ask them to choose something they have
done well in (the problem context) and are
proud of and to tell the group/family.
Im proud I got a sticker (for well-done
homework)
Im proud of how I held my temper this past
Tuesday
I think Ive really done well showing my
appreciation for my son this week
6

Techniques:
RATE THE OTHERS EXPERIENCE
I would like for you to rate your tantrums
(Child's word) each day. Mom, I would like
for you to rate his tantrums each day, also.
Don't tell each other what your rating is, but
keep track of it on these note cards and we'll
talk about it next time.
This often highlights the Child as expert of her
or his own problem, since Parent will be
wrong on her/his rating of the actual rating
number of the Child nearly every time.
Techniques:
Rate The Other's Experience (3)
Since most people dichotomize (He's awful /
He's perfect), this scaling or rating exercise
introduces difference into the equation.
Assuming Son will not be a 1 all the time (note
the word when), the parent will have
evidence around Son's better moments to
discuss the next time you meet.
Techniques:
SCALING QUESTIONS
Change is easier when it is removed from
the dichotomy of all / nothing
Moving away from setting an unattainable
goal of 10 (or perfection) allows both
the therapist and the client(s) to
experience success before the
problem is completely eliminated
(assuming it can be eliminated)
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
Techniques:
Rate The Other's Experience (2)
I would like for you to keep a journal / diary of
your Sons 'acting-out' this week. On a scale
from '1' to '10,' with '1' being totally out-of-
control and '10' being totally in-control, I'd
like for you (one or both Parents) to rate his
behavior -- morning, afternoon, and evening.
Pay particular attention to what's going on
when you do not rate his behavior as a '1,'
and bring in your notes next time for
assessment.
Parent version!
SCALING
(Progression)
Given: There will be differences in #s!
Do not try to resolve the differences!
Why would that be a ____ (number) for
you and not higher?
What would have to happen for that
number to increase by one?
What would you notice when that number
increased from x to x+1?
Techniques:
SCALING QUESTIONS (2)
On a scale from one to ten, with one
being 'pretty bad' and ten being 'pretty
good', how would you rate how you're
doing now? Follow with, And when
you're able to say (the client's response
plus one or two), what will be happening
differently?
(Ask each family member part of goal-ing
process)
7

Techniques:
SCALING QUESTIONS (3)
On a scale from one to ten, how bad
is your anger (Child's word) right
now? What would it take for it to
get better, say, one or two
points?
So your childs laziness (Parent's
word) has improved from a '2' to
a '4'. What did you do to move up
from 2 to 4 in such a short time?
What would it take to get the
problem from a '5' to a '6'?
Techniques for SCALING:
ROCK/PAPER/SCISSORS
(Hackett, 2010)
On 3, everyone uses both hands to show
where you think the family is on a scale from
0 to 10, 0 = 2 closed hands and 10 = all 10
fingers showing.
Practice before creating an interventive
scale x 2 or 3!
Example: On 3, everyone show where you
are, 0 to 10, on how well you got along on
your best day, which you all agreed was last
Saturday, OK? Ready? 1..2..3! (Mom=7,
Dad=8, Son=9) OK, Son, 9 is really high!
What made it a 9 for you?
Techniques:
Tapping into Social Support Systems
(Bertolino & OHanlon, 2002)
Also called Unconditional
Conversations
Who helps you in your day-to-day
life?
What do these people do to be a help
to you?
Who has been helpful to you in the
past in facing daily challenges?
How has s/he been helpful to you?
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
SCALING
WITH
CHILDREN
from
Tolksdorf,
in Nelson
& Thomas,
2007
Techniques:
Sharing Credit
(Furman & Ahola, 1992)
Also in Bertolino & OHanlon (2002)
Who taught you how to overcome this?
Who helped you to make the progress so
quickly?
If you were to thank someone for your help
on this problem, who would it be? (follow
with), How might we do that?
How did your parents help you change?
Techniques:
Tapping into Social Support Systems (2)
(Bertolino & OHanlon, 2002)
Who do you feel you can count on?
When youre struggling, who knows just
what to say or do to help you to get
back on track?
Who has helped you through tough
times? How did (do) they help?
Who would be willing to help out and
would be helpful?
8

Techniques:
Transfer Competence
(OHanlon & Beadle, 1999)
Child: I just hang out at school -- nobody
thinks I do much of anything right.
Therapist: Didnt you tell me you are in the
band? How did you get good enough to
become a member of the band?
Adolescent: My mother and my brother
squabble constantly.
Therapist: You work at a daycare -- when you
see two kids fighting, how do you help them
get along better?
REFERENCES/RESOURCES
Hudgins, Maryann (2001)
RESPECT BINGO
Now you can help students
understand respectful behavior
while having fun. Each bingo card
gives students the opportunity to
look for actions that show caring for
self, working with others,
responsibility at home, fairness in
play, and trustworthy actions.
Included are 30 bingo cards, calling
cards, and reproducible activity
sheets.
GRADES 2-5 UP TO 30 PLAYERS $23.95 from
http://www.monarchbooks.ca/catalogues/cata/spneeds.pdf
HOW TO INTERVIEW FAMILIES
1. If you want A to speak with B, the
therapist should avoid drawing eye gaze,
being sensitive to cultural.
2. When A speaks for B, check it out with
B (Is that your experience, B? Is your
experience similar to what A is saying?)
3. Alternative to #2: When A speaks for B,
politely ask A to speak for self (Is that
your experience, A? Ill get to B in a
moment to get his/her view of this.)
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
Techniques:
Transfer Competence (2)
(OHanlon & Beadle, 1999)
We can help clients draw upon the
confidence and ease they feel in situations
where they are competent and effective
and apply it in new areas. They can also
draw useful metaphors and practical help
from these areas and apply them to
current areas of difficulty.
REFERENCES/RESOURCES
Trenhaile, Jay (2006). CREATING SOLUTIONS and
CHARACTER EDUCATION VERSION of C.S.
The format of the game draws childrens natural
interest and encourages them to share information. Both
versions are focused on childrens strengths. They are
cooperative the counselor plays with the child or
children to attempt to win the game jointly. Everyone is
on the same team. http://www.creatingsolutions.org
HOW TO INTERVIEW FAMILIES
4. When A states his/her opinion of an event,
ask B: Is your experience similar or different?
5. About the amount of time each person
speaks: Division of time spent talking must fit
that counseling situation. Ask, Is it necessary
that we divide the speaking time equally?
6. When people interrupt and speak for the
other, answering a question meant for the other:
Ask, If I ask one of you a question, and the
other responds, how do I stop the interruption
without offending you?
9

HOW TO INTERVIEW FAMILIES
7. Ask, How can I make this helpful to you
(individually and collectively)?
8. Not asking about goals for therapy may lead
a person to assume you agree with his/her
unspoken goals. Ask, What do you expect from
counseling? early on and expect to hear
different and (seemingly) contradictory things.
9. Disagree respectfully (especially with
peoples conclusions). Example: If I disagree
with you on that, what would you say?
HOW TO INTERVIEW FAMILIES
13. Start Old Good Behaviors Again --
Only change (initially) what the others say
is meaningful change
14. Keep nonverbal cues you pick up to
yourself (if client made aware control it).
15. Learn to say, I cant do that and
I wont do that, when appropriate.
AAMFT Portland, October 2013
Frank Thomas, PhD LMFT-S
HOW TO INTERVIEW FAMILIES
10. If all agree that doing _______ would
make a significant positive difference in
their relationship or problem, find a way to
make ________ happen!
11. STAY TENTATIVE!
12. Normalize but dont diminish or
disqualify someones experience.
HOW TO INTERVIEW FAMILIES
16. Interactive Miracle Questions (Berg)
Ask one (example, W), What would be
1st thing you would do?
Ask H, If she did that, how would you
respond?
Switch ask H about his Miracle, what
he would do first; then ask W how she
would respond to Hs 1st miracle action
10
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