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THE DAILY
Local residents reported seeing Daenerys Targaryen, The Mother of Dragons, racing down Wilshire
Blvd yesterday on the beloved Mr. Ed. The 2 entered a designer jewelry store around 11 a.m. and
allegedly stole a 10-kt diamond. They were stopped by police as they were about to enter another
popular jewelry store frequented by the Hollywood elite. As she was surrounded by swat, guns

DIRT
drawn, Daenerys was said to simply looked bored. I guess when youve faced off with the entire
Dothraki army, a few dozen men seem like a party. Mr. Ed, however, started babbling incessantly
and proclaiming his innocence. Animal control was called to calm the horse and he is resting after
being tranquilized, while authorities decided if he will be charged as an accessory to the crime.
When
YOURquestioned
DAILY by police, Danny told them I wanted a gift for my children. Dragons love shiny
gems! As the
DOSE OF Kaleesi of the Seven Kingdoms, it is my right to take what I wish. While rumors are
flyingGOSSIP
about what will happen to Daenerys, one thing is clear: Daenerys was not in fact flying. The
question begs - Where are her dragons?

MOTHER OF DAIMONDS?
By Olivia Norman
Local residents reported seeing
Daenerys Targaryen, The Mother
of Dragons, racing down Wilshire
Blvd yesterday on the beloved
Mr. Ed. The 2 entered a designer
jewelry store around 11 a.m. and
allegedly stole a 10-kt diamond.
They were stopped by police as
they were about to enter another
popular jewelry store frequented
by the Hollywood elite. As she
was surrounded by swat, guns
drawn, Daenerys was said to
simply looked bored.
I guess when youve faced
off with the entire Dothraki
army, a few dozen men
seem like a party. Mr. Ed,
however, started babbling
incessantly and proclaiming
his innocence. Animal
control was called to calm
the horse and he is resting
after being tranquilized,
while authorities decided if
he will be charged as an
accessory to the
crime. When questioned by
police, Danny told them I
wanted a gift for my
children.
Dragons love shiny gems!
As the Kaleesi of the Seven
Kingdoms, it is my right to
take what I wish. While
rumors are flying about
what will happen to
Daenerys, one thing is
clear: Daenerys was not in
fact flying. The question
begs - Where are her
dragons?

THAT 70S BACHELOR!

By Monica Guiza
Michael Kelso is no longer in the 1970s. After his longtime girlfriend Jackie
Burkhart broke his heart and left him for his good friend Fez, Kelso is ready to
move on. He has left his home state of Wisconsin and traded it for sunny
 THE DAILY DIRT PAGE 2

(Continued from Page1) Hollywood, California. Ladies and gentlemen, Kelso is

Americas most eligible bachelor of 2016! Kelso will be living every mans dream
of having 25 of the most beautiful women competing for his heart. The cast has
just been revealed for the newest season of The Bachelor, and among those
competing is Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus, and
recently divorced, Kim Kardashian! Which lady will Kelso propose to and become
the next real housewife? Will Jackie be tuning in to watch? And will this finally be
the most dramatic season yet? America, stay tuned because things are about to get
crazier than the 2016 presidential election!

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grow!
By: Ashley Walker
Rumors have gone around the news this last week
that Phoebe Buffay and Joey Tribianni are finally
becoming more than "Friends". The "Friends"
stars were seen holding hands and kissing while
drinking coffee at their favorite coffee shop,
Central Perk. After Buffay's split from her 5-year
marriage to Mike Hannigan in 2005, the Tribianni
and Buffay pair have been closer than ever.
Tribianna is recognized as one of the hottest
bachelors of 2016, and it would only make sense
that he became tied down. Recent spottings of
them have shined a light on the long foreseen
romantic rendezvous between the two. They are
often spotted together around their homes in New
York. There have even been scandalous pictures
leaked from their vacation in Tribianni's
impressive boat that he had won at some silent
auction years before.

Most recently they have been spotted going to multiple Kardashian parties together with Rachel and
husband Ross. At the time it was said that they were trying to keep their relationship on the down
low for a while until they could figure it a way to release the news. Could they be the hottest new
couple of 2016? We hope so.
 The Daily Dirt PAGE 3

I LOVE LUCY DISASTER!
By Zulema Solis
Buddy Valastro (star of the hit show
Cake Boss) and Lucille Ball (I Love
Lucy) meet in New York at a pastry
and wine tasting conference. Lucille
gets over joyed for having the
opportunity of meeting the great
Buddy, from, Cake Boss. Lucille
was there introducing her new
irresistible chocolate delicacies and
pastry. Buddy invited Lucy to do
business together creating a
masterpiece of Buddys cakes mixed
with Lucys chocolates.
They meet at Buddys bakery shop called, Carlo's
Bakery. Working together, they created a beautiful
cake made of chocolate and strawberries. Once the
cake was completed and was being transferred to
the TV set of the Martha Stewart Show, Lucys
frenzy causes her to trip and fall on the cake,
destroying it completely. Eyewitnesses say that
Lucy was so embarrassed that she was as red as
her lipstick! Even though the initial cake was
ruined, Buddy was gracious enough to help Lucy in
creating another one.

PEGGY BUNDY, IN A MOTORCYCLE GANG?

By Maria Zuniga
Peggy Bundy decided she needed a change of life after divorcing that rude and crude man Al Bundy.
So she decided to move to little town in San Joaquin County California named Charming away from
all the craziness of the big city. One day, while driving down town to the grocery store, her car broke
down. When the tow truck arrived, a young man named Opie came out of the truck and proceeded to
tell Peggy she looked just like a woman in his motorcycle gang! Not thinking much of it, they loaded
her truck and eventually arrived at the Teller-Morrow Auto Shop. Once in the main office, Peggy
saw what Opie was talking about. The woman behind the counter looked just like her! A few
moments later a young man walked into the office and freaked out to see what was happening. The
other womans name was Gemma Teller Morrow and the young man was her son Jax Teller. Jax
finally asked what was going on and neither had an answer. Peggy finally spoke, What in Gods
name is going on? Both women finally sat down and began asking each other some questions. Both
were born in 1957 but in different cities. They wondered if there was a connection. Luckily Peggys
mom was still living and decided to call her and tell about what was going on. Her mother told her
the truth. She was adopted and that she was a twin but never knew what happened to her twin.
Gemma only had her father but he had Alzheimers and would not be of help. They decided to get
DNA tested, and it was confirmed. Peggy had a long lost twin sister named Gemma Teller from
Charming,CA.
 THE DAILY DIRT PAGE 4

NAKED ON THE PRAIRIE!?

By Jodie Robinson
Many remember the hit family friendly
show The Little House on the Prairie and its'
lovable cast, but what have the remaining
members of the cast been up to since? Rumors
have been swirling and a recent sighting of none
other than Melissa Gilbert (known as Laura
Ingalls on the show) was seen having what
looked like a meeting with some of the
producers and big-wigs for The Discovery
Channel. What could this mean? Our inside Visiting the beautiful state of
sources can confirm that Melissa Gilbert and a
hand full of other stars from The Little House Oregon and need a motel? Stay
on the Prairie will star in an upcoming two-part at the family owned and
episode of the Discovery Channel's hit operated Bates Motel and enjoy
show Naked and Afraid. For those who may be
unfamiliar with the show, two strangers meet a relaxing weekend! Enjoy free
for the first time in a desolate part of a jungle or Wi-Fi and even a pool! Do not
desert and they must survive the elements for 21
days all while being completely naked. The
hesitate, book your room today!
episode will begin filming this month and there (541)433-BATE
is talk they will be surviving the elements in the
jungles of Nicaragua. Will their prior
knowledge of living on a prairie be enough to
handle the unknowns and ever changing
elements of the jungle? We will soon find out as
the episode is set to air this fall.

THE BACHLEOR CANCELED! By Annie Christensen

The long running show, The Bachelor has abruptly ended. On Tuesday evening, our sources
informed us from the ABC lot, an ambulance and six police cars were at the filming of the last
episode. A surprising choice of bachelor this season was the well-known Dr. Huxtable from The
Cosby Show. Our source says Cliff Huxtable was chosen for this seasons new spin-off The
Bachelor: Old Farts. After two females reported during taping that Cliff offered to give them pap
smears after the next rose ceremony and another female quoted him saying something about pudding
pops melting. As the police officers handcuffed Dr. Huxtable, he slipped on a Jello Jiggler and fell to
the floor breaking his hip. Police say that he is now being treated at the local hospital and charges
have been filed. We also reached out to Claire Huxtable and other family members but there was no
comment, though Theo, Dr. Huxtables son, offered to take his place for $200 and an ultimate feast
from Red Lobster. ABC has not responded to his offer