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The 529
Best Things
ANYBODY EVER SAID

Apostolos Karanikolos

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-The words that enlighten the soul are more precious


than jewels.

Inayat Khan (1882-1927) Indian spiritual leader

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Table of Contents

Dedication, 4
Introduction, 5
Wit, 6
Wisdom, 53
Humor, 109
Index, 188

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Dedication

Dear friend,
This book is dedicated to YOU.
I feel certain that the words you’ll read
are going to entertain your mind,
and enlighten your soul.

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Introduction

Congratulations on your choice to acquire the collection with


The 529 Best Things Anybody Ever Said. You have gained
access to a treasure of knowledge and entertainment and what
now remains is to conquer that knowledge and make it your
own.

How you’ll benefit the most from “The 529 Best Things Anybody
Ever Said”.

By Thought.

We do not grow spiritually by what we read but from what we


think about what we read.

WE NEVER MOVE FORWARD UNTIL WE BEGIN TO THINK.

Read less, think more, and smile more.

Apostolos Karanikolos
July 1, 2008

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Chapter1 - Wit
>> Wit: the ability to use words and ideas in a clever,
amusing and imaginative way.

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-1-
There will be a time
when you believe Louis l’Amour
everything is (1908-1988)
finished. That will American writer
be the beginning.

-2-
In every
Thomas Carlyle
phenomenon the
(1795-1881)
beginning remains
Scottish writer
always the most
notable moment.

Winston Churchill
-3-
(1874-1965)
Now this is not the
British politician,
end. It is not even
from a speech in
the beginning of
1942, after the
the end. But it is,
British defeat of the
perhaps, the end of
German army in
the beginning.
Egypt

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-4- I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set
him free.

Michelangelo (1475-1564) Italian painter-sculptor-architect

-5- Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.

Gilbert K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English writer

-6- We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we


can only fly by embracing one another.

Luciano de Crescenzo (1928- ) Italian writer

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-7- Absence diminishes mediocre loves and increases


great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans
fires.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French writer

-8- Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night


without moon and without stars.

Confucius (551-479 bC) Chinese philosopher

-9- An event has happened, upon which it is difficult to


speak, and impossible to be silent.

Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish politician

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-10- Every situation, every moment, is of infinite value,


because it is the representative of all eternity.

Johan Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German poet-dramatist

-11- Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a


joke.

Hermann Hesse (1877-1962) German author, Nobel prize in


literature 1946

-12- Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around the


lake.

Wallace Stevens (1879-1955) American poet

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-13- If there were only one truth, it wouldn’t be possible


to do 100 variations on the same theme.

Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish painter

-14- The opposite of a correct statement is a false


statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well
be another profound truth.

Niels Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist, Nobel prize in physics


1922

-15- There's one sad truth in life I've found


While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox (1850-1919) American poet


 

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-16- A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a


living thing can go against it.

Gilbert K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English writer

-17- Your work is good and original. But the part that is
good is not original and the part that is original is not
good.

Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) English writer

-18- If you don’t expect the unexpected, you will not find
it.

Heraclitus (535-475 bC) Greek philosopher

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-19- If everyone demanded peace instead of another


television set, then there’d be peace.

John Lennon (1940-1980) English singer-songwriter

-20- If someone knows exactly what’s going to happen,


why do it?

Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish painter

If you find yourself in a


Nick Lappos
-21- fair fight, you didn’t plan
Chief R&D pilot
it properly.

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-22- If everyone is thinking the same, then someone is


not thinking.

George S. Patton (1885-1945) American general

-23- If you really want to understand something, try to


change it.

Kurt Lewin (1890-1947) German psychologist

If everybody thought before they spoke, the


-24-
silence would be deafening.

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-25- If things are getting easier, maybe you are headed


downhill.

Ghana’s proverb

-26- The man who does not read good books has no
advantage over the man who cannot read them.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) American writer

-27- One never goes so far as when one doesn’t know


where one is going.

Johan Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German dramatist

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-28- Seek simplicity - and having found it, suspect it.

James Conant (1893-1978) American chemist

-29- Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is most


important that you do it.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian leader

-30- When the first baby laughed for the first time, the
laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went
skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies.

James Matthew Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish novelist, creator of


Peter Pan

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-31- Laughter is the closest distance between two


people.

Victor Borge (1909-2000) Danish pianist

-32- I have always thought that every woman should


marry, and no man.

Benjamin Disraeli (1804-1881) British politician

-33- It is often woman who inspires us with the great


things that she prevents us from accomplishing.

Alexandre Dumas (1802-1870) French writer

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-34- You do not inherit the earth of your ancestors; you


borrow it from your children.

Antoine de Saint Exupery (1900-1944) French writer-aviator

-35- I never desire to converse with a man who has


written more than he has read.

Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) British author

-36- You can’t fake quality any more than you can fake a
good meal.

William S. Burroughs (1914-1997) American novelist

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-37- A point is not part of a line.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) Italian architect-painter

38- Having children makes you no more a parent than


having a piano makes you a pianist.

Michael Levine (1954- ) American writer

-39- I have nothing, owe a great deal, and the rest I


leave to the poor.

Francois Rabelais (1492-1553) French writer

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-40- He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything.


That points clearly to a political career.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright, Nobel prize


for literature 1925

-41- It takes a long time to understand nothing.

Edward Dahlberg (1900-1977) American novelist

-42- Each person is guilty for all the good he didn't do.

Voltaire (1694-1778) French writer

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-43- A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble


without imperfections.

Chinese proverb

-44- I’d rather have roses on my table than diamonds on


my neck.

Emma Goldman (1869-1940) Lithuanian writer

-45- If you think you are too small to make a difference,


try sleeping in a closed room with a mosquito.

14th Dalai Lama (1935- ) head of state of the people of Tibet,


Nobel peace prize 1989

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-46- Every action in our lives touches on some chore


which will vibrate in eternity.

Edwin Hubbel Chapin (1814-1880) American cleric

-47- Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.

Henri L. Bergson (1859-1941) French philosopher, 1927 Nobel


prize in literature

-48- The road up and the road down are one and the
same.

Heraclitus (535-475 bC) Greek philosopher

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-49- Lead me, follow me or get out of my way.

George S. Patton (1885-1945) American general

-50- Do not go where the path may lead, go instead


where there is no path and leave a trail.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American poet

-51- There are no shortcuts for any place worth going.

Beverly Sills (1929-2007) American opera singer

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-52- Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what


a man does with what happens to him.

Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) British writer

-53- The trouble with the world is that the stupid are
cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, Nobel prize in


literature 1950

We don’t stop playing because


Nana
-54- we get old; we get old because we
(age 103)
stop playing.

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-55- It is not because things are difficult that we do not


dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.

Seneca the elder (54 bC-39) Roman orator

-56- Happiness is when what you think, what you say,


and what you do are in harmony.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian political and spiritual


leader

-57- Everybody wants to understand painting. Why isn’t


there an effort to understand the song of the birds?

Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish painter

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-58- Life could be much better if we had its source code.

William Gibson (1948- ) American novelist

-59- I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I


was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly
dreaming I am a man.

Chuang-Tzu (369-286 bC) Chinese philosopher

-60- Either write something worth reading or do


something worth writing.

Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) American diplomat

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-61- If you have an apple and I have an apple and we


exchange apples then you and I will still each have one
apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we
exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two
ideas.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright, Nobel prize


in Literature 1925

-62- An idea is not responsible for the people who


believe in it.

Don Marquis (1878-1937) American writer

-63- You can judge your age by the amount of pain you
feel when you come in contact with a new idea.

Pearl Buck (1892-1973) American novelist

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-64- I shut my eyes in order to see.

Paul Gauguin (1848-1903) French painter

-65- Genius is the African who dreams of snow.

Vladimir Nabokov (1899-1977) Russian poet

-66- Keep a green tree in your heart, and perhaps a


songbird will come.

Chinese proverb

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-67- Maybe this world is another planet’s Hell.

Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) British writer

-68- A writer should write with his eyes and a painter


paint with his ears.

Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) American writer-poet

-69- He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices
I admire.

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British politician, Nobel prize in


literature 1953

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-70- I can write better than anybody who can write


faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can
write better.

A.J. Liebling (1904-1963) American journalist

-71- Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and
we are never, ever the same.

Flavia Weedn American artist

-72- If you have knowledge, let others light their candle


with it.

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British politician

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-73- Don’t be afraid of mistakes, there aren’t any.

Miles Davis (1926-1991) American musician

-74- Truthful words are not beautiful, beautiful words are


not truthful. Good words are not convincing, convincing
words are not good.

Lao Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism

-75- Using words to describe magic is like using a


screwdriver to cut roast beef.

Tom Robbins (1936- ) American writer

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-76- Not speaking is a flower.

Japanese proverb

-77- Believe that everything is for you until you discover


that you are for it.

Don Marquis (1878-1937) American writer

-78- Don’t let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.

Anais Nin (1903-1977) French author

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-79- Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children


because they are more certain they are their own.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-80- Bright father, bright daughter - bright mother,


bright son.

Russian proverb

-81- A person hears only what they understand.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German dramatist

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-82- Our greatest stupidities may be very wise.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

-83- I'm living so far beyond my income that we may


almost be said to be living apart.

E.E. Cummings (1894-1962) American poet

-84- All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

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-85- The absence of alternatives clears the mind


marvelously.

Henry Kissinger (1923- ) US diplomat, Nobel Peace prize 1973

-86- Take up an idea, devote yourself to it, struggle on in


patience, and the sun will rise for you.

Swami Vivekananda (1863-1902) Indian spiritual leader

-87- No object is mysterious. The mystery is in our eye.

Elizabeth Bowen (1899-1973) Irish writer

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-88- The secret of success is to do the usual things


unusually well.

John D. Rockefeller (1839-1937) American industrialist

-89- The secret of forgiving everything is to understand


nothing.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright, Nobel prize


for literature 1925

-90- And what is the greatest number? Number one.

David Hume (1711-1776) Scottish philosopher

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-91- Beauty without grace is the hook without the bait.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American poet

-92- Beauty is the wisdom of women. Wisdom is the


beauty of men.

Chinese proverb

-93- Beauty is the eternity looking itself at a mirror.

Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) Lebanese poet

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-94- The center of every man's existence is a dream.

G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English writer

-95- I dream my painting, and then I paint my dream.

Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890) Dutch painter

-96- All that we see or seem is but a dream within a


dream.

Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849) American author-poet

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-97- When you reach the top, keep climbing.

Zen proverb

-98- When I drink, I think, and when I think, I drink.

Francois Rabelais (1495-1553) French writer

-99- Life does not cease to be funny when people die any
more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright, Nobel prize


in Literature 1925

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-100- When you are born, you cry and the world is
happy. When you die, you are happy and the world is
crying.

Tibetan proverb

-101- When you confront the insane, pretend you are


logical.

Hermann Hesse (1877-1962) German writer, Nobel prize for


literature 1946

-102- In the end, we will remember not the words of our


enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Martin Luther King (1929-1968) US clergyman-reformer, Nobel


Peace Prize 1964

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-103- Man is born to live and not to prepare to live.

Boris Pasternak (1890-1960) Russian poet

-104- I’m not young enough to know everything.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish playwright-poet

-105- The rich will do anything for the poor but get off
their backs.

Karl Marx (1818-1883) German political economist

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-106- The first human who hurled an insult instead of a


stone was the founder of civilization.

Sigmund Freud (1836-1939) Austrian psychiatrist

-107- We are born princes and the process of civilization


turns us to frogs.

Eric Berne (1910-1970) Canadian psychiatrist-writer

-108- Never express yourself more clearly than you are


able to think.

Niels Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist, Nobel prize in physics


1922

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-109- Never believe anything in politics until it has been


officially denied.

Otto von Bismarck (1815-1898) German Chancellor

-110- Someone sits in the shadow today because


someone planted a tree a long time ago.

Waren Buffet (1930- ) American investor

-111- Beauty is power, smile is its sword.

Charles Reade (1814-1884) English novelist

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-112- All the powers in the universe are already ours. It


is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry
that it is dark.

Swami Vivekananda (1863-1902) Indian spiritual leader

-113- Talent is like money; you don’t have to have some


to talk about it.

Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer

-114- Talent develops in quiet places, character in the


full current of human life.

Johan Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German dramatist

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-115- Art doesn’t have to be ugly to look clever.

Patrick Mimran (1956- ) French artist

-116- Treat a work of art like a prince. Let it speak to you


first.

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) German philosopher

-117- Art should be like a good armchair which provides


relaxation from physical fatigue.

Henry Matisse (1869-1954) French painter

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-118- Good art is not what seems beautiful; it’s what


makes us feel beautiful.

Roy Aznak (1927-1987) English photographer-sculptor

-119- Nothing is that which fills no space.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) Italian architect-painter

-120- One of the lessons of history is that nothing is


often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.

Will Durant (1885-1981) American historian

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-121- Nothing is as good as it seems beforehand.

George Eliot (1819-1880) English novelist

-122- From a distance it is something, from nearby it is


nothing.

Jean de la Fontaine (1621-1695) French poet

-123- Nothing is interesting if you are not interested.

Helen MacInnes (1907-1985) Scottish novelist

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-124- There is strong shadow where there is much light.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German dramatist

-125- When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes


out because that’s what is inside. When you squeeze a
human, what comes out is what is inside.

Wayne Dyer (1940- ) American psychiatrist

-126- Every time a child says, “I don't believe in fairies”,


there is a fairy somewhere that falls down dead.

James M. Barrie (1860-1937) Scottish playwright from the play


“peter pan”

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-127- There are things known and there are things


unknown, and in between are the doors.

Jim Morrison (1943-1971) singer of “The Doors”

-128- A philosopher who is not taking part in discussions


is like a boxer who never goes into the ring.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

-129- The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our


cages.

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British writer

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-130- I found I could say things with colors that I


couldn’t say in any other way - things that I had no
words for.

Georgia O’Keeffe (1887-1986) American painter

-131- Color is the place where our brain and the universe
meet.

Paul Klee (1879-1940) Swiss painter

-132- Clouds come into my life, not to bring rain or


storm, but to add color to my shiny sky.

Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941) Indian poet-philosopher

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-133- There is no blue without yellow and without


orange.

Vincent Van Gogh (1853-1890) Dutch painter

-134- Never so many lies are told as before an election,


during a war, and after a hunting trip.

Willy Brandt (1913-1992) German Chancellor, Nobel peace


prize 1971

-135- The art is a lie that leads us to the truth.

Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish painter

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-136- Three o’clock is always too late or too early for


anything you want to do.

Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) French philosopher, declined


Nobel prize in literature 1964

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Chapter2- Wisdom

>> Wisdom: the ability, developed through experience,


insight and reflection, to discern truth and exercise good
judgment.

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-137- The beginning of wisdom is the awareness of our


ignorance.

Cleobulus (circa 560 bC) one of the 7 sages

-138- It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the


end.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519) Italian architect

-139- Life has taught us that love does not consist in


gazing at each other, but in looking outward in the same
direction.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944) French novelist-aviator

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-140- There are no big things. Only small things with big
love.

Mother Teresa (1910-1997) Albanian nun, Nobel peace prize


1979

-141- There is only one good, which is knowledge, and


one evil, which is ignorance.

Plato (427-347 bC) Greek philosopher

-142- True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge,


but the refusal to acquire it.

Karl Popper (1902-1994) Austrian philosopher

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-143- Believe and act like it is impossible to fail.

Charles Kettering (1876-1958) American inventor

-144- It is impossible to speak in such a way that you


cannot be misunderstood.

Karl Popper (1902-1994) Austrian philosopher

-145- Even if I am a minority of one, truth is still the


truth.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian spiritual leader

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-146- The greatest truths cannot be put in words.

Lao Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher-founder of Taoism

-147- All truth passes through three stages. First, it is


ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third, it is
accepted as self-evident.

Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) German philosopher

-148- No one thing is true. It’s all true.

Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) American author, Nobel prize


in Literature 1954

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-149- Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.

African proverb

-150- An artist is never ahead of his time but most


people are far behind theirs.

Edgard Varese (1883-1965) French music composer

-151- You can pretend to be serious but you can’t


pretend to be funny.

Sacha Guitry (1885-1957) French actor

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-152- We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is


not an act, but a habit.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-153- Education costs money but so does ignorance.

Claus Moser (1922- ) German educator

-154- The mystical is not how the world is, but that it is.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

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-155- There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of


doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that
disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant
relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a
sword that kills.

Gautama Buddha (568-488 bC) founder of Buddhism

-156- If it wasn’t for the injustice, we would not know


justice.

Heraclitus (535-475 bC) Greek philosopher

-157- But if you don’t have anything else to create, then


perhaps, you create yourself.

Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist

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-158- If you want to be happy, be.

Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910) Russian writer

-159- If you do not tell the truth about yourself you


cannot tell it about other people.

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) British novelist

-160- If a man will not handle more than he can do, he


will never do all that he can.

Henry Drummond (1851-1897) Scottish writer

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-161- If you want others to trust you, trust yourself. If


you others to respect you, respect yourself.

Inayat Khan (1882-1927) Indian spiritual leader

-162- What a lot of things there are a man can do


without.

Socrates (470-399 bC) Greek philosopher

-163- The true measure of a man is how he treats


someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Ann Landers (1918-2002) American advice columnist

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-164- To know a man, observe how he wins his object,


rather than how he loses it; for when we fail our pride
supports us; when we succeed, it betrays us.

Charles Caleb Colton (1780-1832) English cleric-writer

-165- Walking is man’s best medicine.

Hippocrates (460-377 bC) Greek physician

-166- A single conversation with a wise man is better


than ten years of study.

Chinese proverb

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-167- People who bite the hand that feeds them usually
lick the boot that kicks them.

Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) American philosopher

-168- Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the


richest inheritance.

Ruth E. Renkel

-169- You can tell more about a person by what he says


about others than you can by what others say about him.

Leo Aikman American journalist

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-170- If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain


follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves
him.

Gautama Buddha (563-483 bC) founder of Buddhism

-171- The average person thinks he isn’t.

Larry Lorenzoni American cleric

-172- When people are free to do as they please, they


usually imitate each other.

Eric Hoffer (1902-1983) American philosopher

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-173- Man is not the sum of what he has already, but


rather the sum of what he does not yet have, of what he
could have.

Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) French philosopher, declined


Nobel prize in literature 1964

-174- Man knows much more than he understands.

Alfred Alder (1870-1937) Austrian psychiatrist

-175- The moment a man begins to question the meaning


and value of life, he is sick.

Sigmund Freud (1856-1939) Austrian neurologist

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-176- Simplicity is indeed often the sign of truth and a


criterion of beauty.

Mahlon Hoagland (1921- ) American biochemist

-177- Every decision you make – every decision – is not a


decision about what to do. It is a decision about who you
are.

Neale Donald Walsch (1943- ) American writer

-178- The hidden harmony is more powerful than the


apparent one.

Heraclitus (535-475 bC) Greek philosopher

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-179- The world is not to be put in order, the world is


order incarnate. It is for us to put ourselves in unison
with this order.

Henry Miller (1891-1980) American writer

-180- What lies behind us and what lies before us is


insignificant to what lies inside us.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American poet

-181- The appropriate age for marriage is around


eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

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-182-The limits of my language are the limits of my mind.


All I know is what I have words for.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

-183- One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.

Wernher von Braun (1912-1977) German rocket scientist

-184- The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance;


it is the illusion of knowledge.

Stephen Hawking (1942- ) British physicist

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-185- Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom.

Herman Hesse (1877-1962) German author, Nobel prize in


literature 1946

-186- Those who have knowledge, don’t predict. Those


who predict don’t have knowledge.

Lao-Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism

-187- Facts do not cease to exist because they are


ignored.

Aldous Huxley (1894-1963) British writer

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-188- He who is not contented with what he has, would


not be contented with what he would like to have.

Socrates (470-399 bC) Greek philosopher

-189- There is no king who has not had a slave among


his ancestors, and no slave who has not had a king
among his.

Helen Keller (1880-1968) American deaf-blind educator

-190- The world is the totality of facts, not of things.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

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-191- I never met a man so unknowledgeable I could not


learn something from him.

Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) Italian physicist-astronomer

-192- Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize


till you have tried to make it precise.

Bertrand Russell (1872-1970) British philosopher, Nobel Prize in


literature 1950

-193- No matter how many instances of white swans we


may have observed, this does not justify the conclusion
that all swans are white.

Karl Popper (1902-1994) Austrian philosopher

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-194- No man ever became wise by chance.

Seneca the elder (54 bC-39 AD) Roman orator

-195- In short, the habits we form from childhood make


no small difference, but rather they make all the
difference.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-196- A serious and good philosophical work could be


written consisting entirely of jokes.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

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-197- If you do the small jobs well, the big ones tend to
take care of themselves.

Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) American writer

-198- Thus every action must be due to one or other of


seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit,
reasoning, anger, or appetite.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-199- Do you have the patience to wait till your mud


settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

Lao-Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism

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-200- In protecting oneself, others are protected; In


protecting others, oneself is protected.

Gautama Buddha (568-488 bC) founder of Buddhism

-201- As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to


live.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German dramatist-poet

-202- You can tell whether a man is clever by his


answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his
questions.

Mahfouz Naguib (1911- ) Egyptian novelist

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-203- No man is clever enough to know all the evil he


does.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French author

-204- A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It


sings because it has a song.

Chinese proverb

-205- We do not smile because something good has


happened; rather something good happens because we
smile.

Japanese proverb

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-206- They can because they think they can.

Virgil (70-19 bC) Roman poet

-207- Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted


by the person you become.

Jim Rohn American motivational speaker

-208- Judge a man by his questions rather than by his


answers.

Voltaire (1694-1778) French philosopher-writer

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-209- If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.


If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.
If you want happiness for a month – get married.
If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime – help someone else.

Chinese proverb

-210- In life you don’t get what you want, you get what
you are.

Les Brown (1945- ) American motivational speaker

-211- Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.

Helen Keller (1880-1968) American writer, an illness at the age


of 19 months left her deaf and blind

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The purpose of life is to discover True


-212- Love; the secret is to discover the
Present Moment.

-213- The greatness of a nation and its moral progress


can be judged by the way its animals are treated.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian leader

-214- Every person who wins in any undertaking must be


willing to cut all sources of retreat. Only by doing so can
one be sure of maintaining that state of mind known as a
burning desire to win – essential to success.

Napoleon Hill (1883-1970) American writer

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-215- The rainbow would be even more beautiful if the


show was not for free.

Netherlands Antilles proverb

-216- To be deeply loved gives you strength, to love


deeply gives you courage.

Lao Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism

-217- Genius is talent exercised with courage.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

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-218- Can any man be courageous who has the fear of


death in him?

Plato (427-347 bC) Greek philosopher

-219- Courage is the first of human qualities because it is


the quality that guarantees the others.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-220- It takes courage to mature and become who you


really are.

E.E. Cummings (1894-1962) American poet

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-221- To believe your own thought, to believe that what


is true for you in your private heart is true for all men,
that is genius.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American poet

-222- First learn the meaning of what you say, and then
speak.

Epictetus (55-135) Greek philosopher

-223- Raise your sail one foot and you get ten feet of
wind.

Chinese proverb

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-224- Thousands of candles can be lit from a single


candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Just as the candle won't be shortened, one's happiness
never decreases by being shared.

Gautama Buddha (568-488 bC) founder of Buddhism

-225- All living creatures are in search of a better world.

Karl Popper (1902-1994) Austrian philosopher

-226- Each friend represents a world in us, a world


possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this
meeting that a new world is born.

Anais Nin (1903-1977) French writer

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-227- No one could make a greater mistake than he who


did nothing because he could do only a little.

Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Irish politician

-228- The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath;

Gautama Buddha (568-488 bC) founder of Buddhism

-229- I have realized that the past and future are real
illusions that they exist in the present, which is what
there is and all there is.

Alan Watts (1915-1973) English philosopher

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-230- What it lies in our power to do, it lies in our power


not to do.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-231- Being blind is bad but worse is to have eyes and


not see.

Helen Keller (1880-1968) blind-deaf American educator

-232- If you see what is right and fail to act on it, you
lack courage.

Confucius (551-479 bC) Chinese philosopher

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-233- Don’t marry the person which you can live with.
Marry the person which you cannot live without.

James C. Dobson (1936- ) American psychologist

-234- Stand out of my sunlight.

Diogenes of Sinope (412-323 bC) Greek cynical philosopher,


when asked if there was any favor Alexander the Great might
do for him

-235- Your vision will be clear when you will look into
your heart. Who looks outside, dreams, who looks inside,
awakens.

Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist

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-236- Human race differs from the animals only by little,


and most people throw that little away.

Confucius (551-479 bC) Chinese philosopher

-237- It requires wisdom to understand wisdom; the


music is nothing if the audience is deaf.

Walter Lippmann (1889-1974) American journalist

-238- Anything the mind can hold and believe the mind
can achieve.

Napoleon Hill (1883-1970) American writer

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-239- Do not stay in the past; do not dream of the future,


concentrate your mind on the present moment.

Gautama Buddha (563-483 bC) founder of Buddhism

-240- Here is my secret. It is very simple. It is only with


the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is
invisible to the eye.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944) French writer-aviator

-241- Freed from desire, you can see the hidden mystery.
By having desire, you can only see what is visibly real.

Lao-Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism

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-242- Begin at once to live!

Seneca the elder (54 bC-39) Roman orator

-243- If you wish to learn the highest truths, begin with


the alphabet.

Japanese proverb

-244- Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it.

Confucius (551-479 bC) Chinese philosopher

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-245- What makes the desert beautiful is that


somewhere it hides an oasis.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944) French writer-aviator

-246- An advice is as good as the person that gives it.

Francisco Goya (1746-1828) Spanish painter

-247- As long as people torture animals and eat their


flesh, there will be war.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright, Nobel prize


for literature 1925

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-248- Everything that irritates us about others can lead


us to an understanding of ourselves.

Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist

-249- When not prompted by vanity, we say little.

François de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French author

-250- When the pupil is ready to learn, a teacher will


appear.

Zen proverb

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-251- We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the


seriousness of the child at play.

Heraclitus (535-475 bC) Greek philosopher

-252- After the game, the king and the pawn go into the
same box.

Italian proverb

-253- You can discover more about a person in an hour of


play than in a year of conversation.

Plato (427-347 bC) Greek philosopher

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-254- The whole is more than the sum of its parts.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-255- There is nothing that lasts more in life for a woman


than what she builds in a man’s heart.

Judith Anderson (1898-1992) Australian actress

-256- A man is rich in proportion to the number of things


which he can afford to let alone.

Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) American writer

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-257- No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.

Zen proverb

-258- The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the


attribute of the strong.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) Indian leader

-259- The big people never understand nothing by


themselves, and it's tiring for us children to always try to
explain things to them.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery (1900-1944) French writer-aviator

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-260- Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a


mistake.

Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821) French Emperor

-261- Never confuse motion with action.

Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961) American author, Nobel prize


in literature 1954

-262- The actions of men are the best interpreters of


their thoughts.

John Locke (1632-1704) English philosopher

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-263- Except our own thoughts, there is nothing


absolutely in our power.

Rene Descartes (1596-1650) French philosopher

-264- By thought, the thing you want is brought to you.


By action, you receive it.

Wallace Wattles (1860-1911) American writer

-265- All that we are is the result of what we have


thought. What we think we become.

Gautama Buddha (568-483 bC) founder of Buddhism

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-266- There is no cause so right that one cannot find a


fool following it.

Laurence van Cott Niven (1938- ) American science fiction


author

-267- It is a great skill to know how to hide your skill.

François de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French author

-268- We tried all the systems that had been tried


before, then we tried our own systems and we tried
some combinations that no one had ever thought of.
Eventually, we flew.

Orville Wright (1871-1948) American aviator

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-269- Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least


known.

Michel de Montaigne (1533-1592) French writer

-270- Nature does nothing uselessly.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-271- Whatever you are from nature, keep to it; never


desert your own line of talent. Be what nature intended
you for, and you will succeed; be anything else, and you
will be ten thousands times worse than nothing.

Sydney Smith (1771-1845) English clergyman

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-272- No evil can happen to a good man, neither in life


nor after death.

Plato (427-347 bC) Greek philosopher

-273- Nothing is as difficult as not deceiving oneself.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

-274- At the center of your being you have the answer;


you know who you are and you know what you want.

Lao-Tzu (570-490 bC) Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism

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-275- There are things that are so serious that you can
only joke about them.

Werner Heisenberg (1901-1976) German physicist, Nobel prize


in physics 1932

-276- There is nothing worse for the human moral that a


small but adequate income.

Edmund Wilson (1895-1972) American writer

-277- Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk
in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and
be my friend.

Albert Camus (1913-1960) French philosopher

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-278- Friends are generally of the same sex, for when


men and women agree, it is only in the conclusions; their
reasons are always different.

George Santayana (1863-1952) Spanish philosopher

-279- Where lies friendship, there is one’s homeland.

Voltaire (1694-1778) French writer

-280- Where fear is present, wisdom cannot be.

Lactantius (240-320) Christian author

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-281- We promise according to our hopes and perform


according to our fears.

Francois de la Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French author


 

-282- The whole secret of existence is to have no fear.


Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one.
Only the moment you reject all help are you freed.

Gautama Buddha (568-488 bC) founder of Buddhism

-283- Nothing is terrible except fear itself.

Francis Bacon (1571-1626) English philosopher

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-284- A man will be imprisoned in a room with a door


that's unlocked and opens inwards; as long as it does not
occur to him to pull rather than push.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

-285- Character is the base of happiness and happiness


is the measure of character.

George Santayana (1863-1952) Spanish philosopher

-286- Good character is not formed in a week or a month.


It is created little by little, day by day. Protracted and
patient effort is needed to develop good character.

Heraclitus (535-475 bC) Greek philosopher

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-287- A person reveals his character by nothing so


clearly as the joke he resents.

G.C. Lichtenberg (1742-1799) German physician-writer

-288- Character is not something which you are born


with, like fingerprints and cannot change. It is something
which you are not born with and you have the
responsibility to develop.

Jim Rohn American motivational speaker

-289- The formation of character should everybody’s


primary goal.

Johann Wolfgang Goethe (1749-1832) German poet-dramatist

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-290- The time is always right to do what is right.

Martin Luther King (1929-1968) American clergyman, Nobel


peace prize 1964

-291- Time heals what reason cannot.

Seneca the elder (54 bC-39) Roman orator

-292- Time goes, you say? Ah, no! Alas, time stays, we
go.

Austin Dobson (1912-1963) British racecar driver

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-293- We live in deeds, not years: in thoughts not


breaths; in feelings, not in figures on a dial. We should
count time by heart throbs. He most lives who thinks
most, feels the noblest, acts the best.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

-294- You cannot touch love; but you feel the sweetness
that it pours into everything. Without love you would not
be happy or want to play.

Helen Keller teacher’s answer to Helen’s question “what is


love?”

-295- The soul never thinks without a picture.

Aristotle (384-322 bC) Greek philosopher

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-296- Aim at being loved without being admired.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

-297- The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear


from lies.

Francis Bacon (1561-1626) English philosopher

-298- The human body is the best picture of the human


soul.

Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889-1951) Austrian philosopher

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-299-The words that enlighten the soul are more


precious than jewels.

Inayat Khan (1882-1927) Indian spiritual leader

-300- Obey your soul!

Wallace Wattles (1860-1911) American writer

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Chapter3- Humor

>> Humor: the ability or quality of people, objects or situations to


evoke emotions or entertainment to other people.

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-301- In the beginning the Universe was created. This


has made a lot of people very angry and been widely
regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams (1952-2001) English writer

-302- Only those who attempt the absurd...will achieve


the impossible. I think...I think it's in my basement...Let
me go upstairs and check.

Maurits Escher (1898-1972) Dutch artist

-303- I want to tell you my age but it's impossible. It


changes all the time.

Greer Garson (1904-1996) English actress

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-304- The truth is a precious thing. Therefore, use it


sparingly.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author


 

-305- The truth does not change according to our ability


to stomach it.

Flannery O’Connor (1925-1964) American novelist

-306- We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it


crazy enough?

Niels Bohr (1885-1962) Danish physicist, Nobel prize in physics


1922

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-307- Wagner has lovely moments but awful quarters of


an hour.

Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868) Italian music composer

-308- I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me


before we met.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-309- I want to take you seriously but I'm afraid that


would be an insult to your intelligence.

William Buckley (1925- ) American journalist

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-310- To die for an idea sounds good but why not let the
idea die for you?

Wyndham Lewis (1882-1957) English novelist-painter

-311- A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your


neck in it.

Austin O’Malley (1858-1932) American physicist

-312- I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad


to make an exception.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comedian

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-313- Ordinarily he is insane, but he has lucid moments


when he is only stupid.

Heinrich Heine (1797-1856) German poet

-314- I have enough money for the rest of my life, unless


I buy something.

Jackie Mason (1931- ) American comedian

-315- If you haven't got anything nice to say about


anybody come sit next to me.

Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980) daughter of the 26th


US president

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-316- I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good


waitress.

Jane Siberry (1955- ) Canadian singer-songwriter

-317- Life is like a dogsled team. If you aren’t the lead


dog, the scenery never changes.

Lewis Grizzard (1946-1994) American writer

-318- If you want to look young and thin, hang around


old fat people.

Jim Eason talk radio broadcaster

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-319- If your parents never had children, chances are


you won't, either.

Dick Cavett (1936- ) American TV host

-320- If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it


get us out?

Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist

-321- If everything is under control, you are going too


slowly.

Mario Andretti (1940- ) American racecar driver

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-322- If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.

J.Danforth Quayle (1947- ) 44th US vice president

-323- If other people are going to talk, conversation


becomes impossible.

James McNeill Whistler (1834-1903) American painter

-324- If we knew what we are doing, we wouldn't call it


research.

Albert Einstein (1879-1955) German phycisist, Nobel prize in


physics 1921

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-325- If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865) 16th US president

-326- If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up


button.

Sam Levenson (1911-1980) American humorist

-327- As far as I'm concerned, if something is so


complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then
it’s probably not worth knowing anyway.

Bill Waterson (1958- ) American cartoonist

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-328- If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a


sacrament.

Florynce Kennedy (1916-2000) American lawyer, civil-rights


activist

-329- Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some
good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it
doesn’t go up, don’t buy it.

Will Rogers (1879-1935) American humorist

-330- If people concentrated on the really important


things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing pole.

Doug Larson (1902-1981) British racecar driver

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-331- If money doesn’t make you happy give it back.

Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer

-332- Here is the test to find whether your mission on


earth is finished. If you’re alive, it isn’t.

Richard Bach (1936- ) American writer

-333- Always read stuff that will make you look good if
you die in the middle of it.

P.J. O’Rourke (1947- ) American humorist

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-334- Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit


each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just
visit now and then.

Katharine Hepburn (1907-2003) American actress

-335- If you have always done it that way, it is probably


wrong.

Charles Kettering (1876-1958) American inventor

-336- There is no human problem which could not be


solved if people would simply do as I advise.

Gore Vidal (1925- ) American novelist

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-337- What if everything is an illusion and nothing


exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen (1935- ) American film director

-338- Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right


person.

Ethel Watts Mumford (1878-1940) American author

-339- No poems can please for long or live that are


written by water drinkers.

Horace (65-8 bC) Roman lyric poet

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-340- Presidents Nixon motto was: “if two wrongs don’t


make a right, try three”.

Norman Cousins (1915-1990) American political journalist

-341- If you think the music is loud, you’re too old.

Ted Nugent (1949- ) American guitarist

-342- If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) 33rd US president

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-343- If I were reincarnated, I’d want to come back a


buzzard. Nothing hates him or envies him or wants him
or needs him. He is never bothered or in danger, and he
can eat anything.

William Faulkner (1897-1962) American writer, Nobel prize in


literature 1949

-344- If you can see the light at the end of the tunnel,
you are looking the wrong way.

Barry Commoner (1917- ) American biologist

-345- I have just returned from Boston. It is the only


sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen (1894-1956) American comedian

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-346- It is even harder for the average ape to believe


that he has descended from man.

George S. Patton (1885-1945) American General

-347- An intellectual is a man who takes more words


than necessary to tell more than he knows.

Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969) General-politician 34th US


president

-348- Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961) Swiss psychiatrist

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-349- The man who reads nothing at all is better


educated than the man who reads nothing but
newspapers.

Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) 3rd US President

-350- Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it


from betting on people.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946) American entertainer

-351- The man who can’t visualize a horse galloping on a


tomato is an idiot.

Andre Breton (1896-1966) French poet

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-352- Man has made use of his intelligence; he invented


stupidity.

Remy de Gourmont (1858-1915) French poet

-353- I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect


people of plotting to make me happy.

J.D. Salinger (1919- ) American author

There are only 10 types of people in


-354- the world: Those who understand
binary, and those who don’t.

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-355- I’m a simple man. All I want is enough sleep for


two normal men, enough whiskey for three and enough
women for four.

Joel Rosenberg (1954- ) Canadian science fiction author

-356- I want a man who is kind and understanding. Is


that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917- ) Hungarian actress

-357- Men and nations behave wisely once they have


exhausted all other alternatives.

Abba Eban (1915-2002) Israeli diplomat

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-358- When I don’t take a decision, it’s not that I don’t


think about it. I think about it and take a decision not to
take a decision.

P.V. Narasimha Rao outgoing Indian Prime Minister defending


his reputation for indecisiveness

-359- In any decision situation, the amount of relevant


information available is inversely proportional to the
importance of the decision.

Paul Dickson American writer

-360- This book fills a much-needed gap.

Moses Hadas (1900-1966) American teacher-book reviewer

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-361- From the moment I picked your book up until I laid


it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I
intend reading it.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comedian

-362- I never lend books, because nobody ever returns


them. The only books I have in my library are the ones
other people lent me.

Anatole France (1844-1924) French writer

-363- I was reading a book... “The history of glue” - I


couldn’t put it down.

Tim Vine (1967- ) British comedian

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-364- Marriage is a lottery but you can’t tear your ticket


if you lose.

F.M. Knowles

-365- The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Henny Youngman (1906-1998) American comedian-violin player

-366- Love (n.): Temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American satirist

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-367- Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife


wasn’t.

Victor Borge (1909-2000) Danish pianist

-368- Imagine if birds were tickled by fears. You’d see a


flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-369- One day I went to the dentist. He said “Say Aaah”.


I said “Why?” He said “My dog’s died”.

Tim Vine (1967- ) British comedian

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-370- Why do ballet dancers always dance on their toes?


Why don’t they hire taller dancers?

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-371- At the age of twelve Nero had shown a lively


interest in the arts, particularly music, painting,
sculpture, and poetry. Why was nothing done about this?

Will Cuppy (1884-1949) American humorist

-372- Knee (noun): device to locate furniture in the dark.

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-373- I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other


part of my body.

Winston Bennett (1965- ) University of Kentucky basketball


forward

-374- My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I


want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.

Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) American actor

-375- The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that


juror who smokes the worst cigars.

H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) American journalist

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-376- Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in


universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors
don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of
accumulates.

Abbott Lawrence Lowell (1856-1943) American educator

-377- When a woman behaves like a man, why doesn’t


she behave like a nice man?

Edith Evans (1888-1976) British actress

-378- What is an elegant woman? An elegant woman is a


woman who despises you and who has no hair under her
arms.

Salvador Dali (1904-1989) Spanish painter

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-379- Basically my first wife was very immature. I’d be at


home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

Woody Allen (1935- ) American film director

-380- There is nothing so wrong in this world that a


sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an
afternoon.

Jean Giraudoux (1907-1989) French writer-diplomat

-381- Let me tell you something that we Israelis have


against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in
order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that
has no oil!

Golda Meir (1898-1978) Israeli politician, one of the founders of


the state of Israel

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-382- I drink no more than a sponge.

Francois Rabelais (1492-1553) French writer

-383- A hospital is no place to be sick.

Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974) American movie producer

I think they should put a warning label on


-384- strawberries: “Caution: tastes nothing like
a strawberry milkshake”.

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-385- One of my chief regrets during my years in the


theater is that I couldn’t sit in the audience and watch
me.

John Barrymore (1882-1942) American actor

-386- Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!

Groucho Marx (1890-1977) American comedian

-387- If you can count your money, you do not have a


billion dollars.

J.Paul Getty (1892-1976) American businessman, one from the


first billionaires of the 20th century

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-388- I am not sincere, not even when I say I am not.

Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer

-389- Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent


life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has
tried to contact us.

Bill Waterson (1958- ) American cartoonist

-390- It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don’t want to
be there when it happens.

Woody Allen (1935- ) American film director

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-391- I do not recognize you – I’ve changed a lot.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish playwright

-392- A girl called me the other day and said “Come on


over, there’s nobody home”. I went over. Nobody was
home.

Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) American actor

-393- My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your


brakes, so I made your horn louder”.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American actor

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-394- I don’t believe in dining on an empty stomach.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946) American actor

-395- I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything


you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.

Ed Bluestone (1949- ) American writer

-396- A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) American journalist

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-397- I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy


eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two
weeks.

Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971) American comedian

-398- I never hated a man enough to give him his


diamonds back.

Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917- ) Hungarian actress

-399- Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only


difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas
doctors rob you and kill you too.

Anton Chekhov (1860-1904) Russian playwright

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-400- Calvin: “I’m being educated against my will! My


rights are being trampled!”
Hobbes: “Is it a right to remain ignorant?”
Calvin: “I don’t know, but I refuse to find out!”

Bill Waterson (1958- ) American cartoonist

-401- If work were good for you, the rich would leave
none to the poor.

Haitian proverb

-402- Anyone can do any amount of work provided it


isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

Robert Benchley (1889-1945) American columnist

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-403- I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it


for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome (1859-1927) English author

-404- I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the


dishes - and six months later you have to start all over
again.

Joan Rivers (1933- ) American comedian

-405- The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is
far, but we will walk carefully.

Russian proverb

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-406- Room service? Send up a larger room.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comedian

-407- When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into


action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen (1935- ) American film director

-408- All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like
me, so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you
with beer.

Homer Simpson character from “the Simpsons”

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-409- Researchers have discovered that chocolate


produces some of the same reactions in the brain as
marijuana. The researchers also discovered other
similarities between the two, but can’t remember what
they are.

Matt Lauer (1957- ) American journalist on NBC’s “Today” show


1996

-410- The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts workings


the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop
until you arrive at the office.

Robert Frost (1874-1963) American poet

-411- Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He


taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and
is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true
only of certain persons.

Will Cuppy (1884-1949) American humorist

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-412- Anybody who watches three games of football in a


row should be declared brain dead.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) American journalist

-413- I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.

Dr. Seuss (1904-1991) American cartoonist

-414- The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.

Don Herold (1889-1966) American illustrator

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-415- To be clever enough to get all that money, one


must be stupid enough to want it.

Gilbert K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English writer

-416- A science is any discipline in which the fool of this


generation can go beyond the point reached by the
genius of the last generation.

Max Gluckman (1911-1975) South African anthropologist

-417- Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you


inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.

Sophia Loren (1934- ) Italian actress

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-418- If I’d known it was going to be a classic, I would


have paid attention.

Julius Epstein screenwriter of the movie “Casablanca”

-419- The question of whether a computer can think is no


more interesting than the question of whether a
submarine can swim.

Edsger W. Dijkstra (1930-2002) Dutch computer science

-420- It was wonderful to work for Wolfgang Pauli. You


could ask him anything. You didn’t have to wonder if
your question was stupid, since he believed that all
questions were stupid.

Victor Frederick Weisskopf (1908- ) American biologist

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-421- Happiness is having a large, loving, caring family in


another city.

George Burns (1896-1996) American comedian

-422- Painting (n.): The art of protecting flat surfaces


from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American journalist

-423- Working and painting are better from a distance.

Spanish proverb

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-424- My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no


meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can’t figure it out. What
am I doing right?

Charles Schulz (1922-2000) American cartoonist

-425- My only complain in life is that I’m not someone


else.

Woody Allen (1935- ) American film director

-426- The answer to the great question of life, the


universe and everything is 42.

Douglas Adams (1952-2001) English writer

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-427- Who are you going to believe, me or your own


eyes?

Chico Marx (1887-1961) American comedian

-428- I was x years old in the year x^2.

Augustus De Morgan (1806-1871) British mathematician, when


asked for his age

-429- I was so ugly when I was born; the doctor slapped


my mother.

Henny Youngman (1906-1998) American comedian-violin player

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-430- If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always


happens, how incapable must man be of learning from
experience.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright, Nobel prize


in literature 1925

-431- The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you


can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comedian

-432- Are you going to come along quietly, or am I going


to have to use ear plugs?

Terence Alan Milligan (1918-2002) Irish writer

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-433- Do something. If it doesn’t work, do something


else. No idea is too crazy.

Jim Hightower (1943- ) American politician

-434- I think it would be a good idea.

Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) when asked what he thought of


Western civilization

-435- Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super


genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up
with all the idiots in the world.
Hobbes: Isn’t your pants zipper supposed to be in the
front?

Bill Watterson (1953- ) American cartoonist author of the


comic-strip “Calvin and Hobbes”

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-436- Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch


where it itches.

The Duchess of Windsor when asked what is the secret of a


long and happy life

-437- We’ve been robbed by gay burglars the other night.


They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Robin Williams (1952- ) American actor

-438- The Mexicans gave the Spaniards malaria, and the


Spaniards gave the Mexicans smallpox, whooping cough,
diphtheria, and syphilis. The Spaniards believed it was
better to give than to receive.

Will Cuppy (1884-1949) American humorist

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439- God created man, but I could do better.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) American columnist

-440- Computer: A million morons working at the speed


of light.

David Ferrier (1843-1924) British scientist

-441- Never trust a computer you can't throw out of a


window.

Steve Wozniak (1950- ) Pole computer engineer-businessman

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-442- It's a small world unless you have to clean it.

From the cover of Snog’s album “Dear Valued Customer”

-443- The world is full of willing people; some willing to


work, the rest willing to let them.

Robert Frost (1874-1963) American poet

-444- It is a mistake to think you can solve any major


problems just with potatoes.

Douglas Adams (1952-2001) English humorist

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-445- I know the answer. The answer lies within the


heart of all mankind! What, he answer is twelve? I think
I’m in the wrong building.

Charles Schulz (1922-2000) American cartoonist

-446- I hate flowers; I only paint them because they are


cheaper than models and do not move.

Georgia O’Keeffe (1887-1986) American painter

-447- Isn’t it strange? The same people who laugh at


gypsy fortunetellers take economists seriously.

Cincinnati Enquirer Ohio newspaper

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-448- It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something


stupid to say and then don't say it.

Sam Levenson (1911-1980) American humorist

-449- There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the


fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.

Mary Little

-450- Spare no expense to make everything as


economical as possible.

Samuel Goldwyn (1882-1974) American film producer

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-451- There are only two things a child will share


willingly - communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

Benjamin Spock (1903-1998) American pediatrician

-452- His mother should have thrown him away and kept
the stork.

Mae West (1893-1980) American actress

-453- Sweater (n.): clothing that the children wear when


the mother is in cold.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American journalist

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-454- Communication with an engineer is only slightly


more difficult than communication with the dead.

Lorren Stiles American writer-pilot

-455- Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man


is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.

Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917- ) Hungarian-American actress

-456- I only drink to make other people seem more


interesting.

George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) American theater critic

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-457- There are two means of refuge from the misery of


life - music and cats.

Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965) German theologian, Nobel peace


Prize 1952

-458- Andrew Lloyd Weber gave to music what


Bombarder Harris gave to gardening.

Miles Kington (1941- ) British music critic

-459- Always listen to experts. They’ll tell you what can’t


be done, and why. Then do it.

Robert A. Heinlein (1907-1988) American science fiction writer

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-460- You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old, and I'll bet


he was glad to get rid of it.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comedian

-461- Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject


of cheese.

G.K. Chesterton (1874-1936) English novelist

-462- The only mystery about the cat is why it ever


decided to become a domesticated animal.

Compton Mackenzie (1883-1972) Scottish novelist

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-463- The family is so ugly they keep the negatives in the


photo album.

Rodney Dangerfield (1921-2004) American actor, describing his


son-in-law’s family

-464- It seems that 1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese.


And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of
them. It’s my mother or my father. Or my older brother
Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think
it’s Colin.

Tim Vine (1967- ) English comedian

-465- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up


reading.

Henny Youngman (1906-1998) American comedian-violin player

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-466- When I turned two I was really anxious, because


I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up,
by the time I’m six I’ll be ninety.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-467- I like long walks, especially when they are taken


by people who annoy me.

Fred Allen (1894-1956) American comedian

-468- Always go to the bathroom when you have a


chance.

George V (1865-1936) King of the UK

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-469- When in doubt, make a Western.

John Ford (1895-1973) American movie director

-470- The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when


you bore people, they think it’s their fault.

Henry Kissinger (1923- ) US diplomat, Nobel Peace prize 1973

-471- Stew Heart is so old; when he was born, the Dead


Sea was still sick.

Jerry Lawer American comedian

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-472- Last night somebody broke into my apartment and


replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I
pointed it out to my roommate, he said, “Do I know
you?”

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-473- When you don’t know what to wear, wear red.

Bill Blass (1922-2002) American fashion designer

-474- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked


me, “Did you sleep good?” I said “No, I made a few
mistakes”.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

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-475- The more snuff Frederick took, the more memoirs


he wrote. He loved literature, but not enough to let it
alone and stop trying to improve it.

Will Cuppy (1884-1949) American humorist

-476- Acquaintance (n.): A person whom we know well


enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) American satirist

-477- A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m


afraid of widths.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

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-478- Livy informs us that Hannibal split the huge Alpine


Rocks with vinegar to break a path for the elephants.
Vinegar was a high explosive in 218 bC, but not before or
after.

Will Cuppy (1884-1949) American humorist

-479- People always ask me, “Were you funny as a


child?” Well, no, I was an accountant.

Ellen DeGeneres (1958- ) American comedienne

-480- Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.

Harry S. Truman (1884-1972) 33rd US President

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-481- Alone (adj.): In bad company.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1913) American satirist

-482- His absence is good company.

Scottish proverb

-483- I told my mother-in-law that my house was her


house and she said: “Get the hell out of my property”.

Joan Rivers (1933- ) American comedienne

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-484- Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-


law.

Mark Twain (1835-1910) American author

-485- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that


people, who have the most, live longer.

Larry Lorenzoni American cleric

-486- You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day,


no matter how rich you are.

Adolphus Busch (1838-1913) German brewing company


founder

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-487- Never eat more than you can lift.

Miss Piggy character on “The Muppet Show”

-488- Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) American journalist

-489- I never drink anything stronger than gin before


breakfast.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946) American comedian

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-490- One of the advantages of Ireland as a place to live,


is that a large number of exceptional people never visit
it.

Hector Hugh Munro (1870-1916) British writer

-491- Never marry for money. You’ll borrow it cheaper.

Scottish proverb

-492- The sun never sets on the British Empire because


Britain is in the east and the sun sets in the west.

Anonymous history student

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-493- Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than


you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a
maniac.

George Carlin (1937- ) American comedian

-494- Don’t imagine that because I’m a man of letters


that I never tried to earn honestly by bread.

George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Irish playwright, Nobel prize


in literature 1925

-495- Never accept a drink from an urologist.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) American journalist

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-496- Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Andy Rooney (1920- ) American journalist

-497- Never lend your car to anyone you have given


birth.

Erma Bombeck (1927-1996) American journalist

-498- I always keep a supply of liquor handy in case I


see a snake - which I also keep handy.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946) American comedian

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-499- I do not object when people look at their watches


when I speak, but I have serious objections when they
shake them to make sure they are working.

Lord Birkett (1883-1962) British judge

-500- The clock talked loud. I threw it away, it scared me


what it talked.

Tillie Olsen (1913- ) American novelist

-501- Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Pierre de Beaumarchais (1732-1799) French dramatist

176
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-502- Children today are tyrants. They contradict their


parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.

Socrates (470-399 bC) Greek philosopher

-503- I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other


one - it wasn’t doing what I was doing.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-504- By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll


be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a
philosopher.

Socrates (470-399 bC) Greek philosopher

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-505- Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if I were your wife, I’d


poison your tea.
Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I’d drink it.

Winston Churchill (1874-1965) English statesman, Nobel prize


in literature 1953

-506- I never married because there was no need. I have


three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a
husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a
parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes
home late at night.

Marie Corelli (1855-1924) English writer

-507- Harpo, she’s a wonderful person. She deserves a


good husband. Marry her before she finds one.

Oscar Levant (1906-1972) American pianist, talking to Harpo


Marx after meeting his fiancée

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-508- This isn’t right, this isn't even wrong.

Wolfgang Pauli (1900-1958) Austrian-Swiss physicist, Nobel


prize in physics 1945, upon reading a young physicist’s paper

-509- When I was in school the teachers told me practice


makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I
stopped practicing.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-510- All in all, I think the British actually hate food,


otherwise they couldn’t possibly abuse it so badly.
Americans, on the other hand, love food but seldom care
what it tastes like.

Bill Marsano American writer on food and wine

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-511- Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting


before you get tired.

Jules Renard (1864-1910) French writer

-512- Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off
now.

Steven Wright (1955- ) American comedian

-513- I find television very educating. Every time


somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and
read a book.

Groucho Marx (1895-1977) American comedian

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-514- Television is bubble-gum for the eyes.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959) American architect

-515- I have nothing to declare except my Genius.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) Irish playwright-poet

-516- The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.

Dizzy Dean (1911-1974) American pitcher, after being hit on


the head by a ball in the 1934 World Series

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-517- A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with


pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for
nothing.

Samuel Johnson (1709-1784) British writer

-518- There is only one way to find out if a man is


honest...ask him. If he says “yes”, you know he is
crooked.

Groucho Marx (1890-1977) American comedian

-519- I have discovered photography. Now I can kill


myself. I have nothing else to learn.

Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) Spanish painter

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-520- I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my


footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.

Groucho Marx (1890-1977) American comedian

-521- Christmas at my house is always at least six or


seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start
drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only
one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.

W.C. Fields (1880-1946) American comedian

-522- It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced


and less able man.

Scott Elledge American professor, on his retirement from


Cornell

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-523- I advise students on the subject of color as


follows: “If it looks good enough to eat, use it”.

Abe Ajay (1919-1998) American painter

-524- Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty


without taking off your shoes.

Mickey Mouse cartoon character created by Walt Disney (1901-


1966)

-525- Inflation is the process which allows you to live in


a more expensive neighborhood without the trouble of
moving.

A.W. Claussen American banker

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-526- You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
holding on.

Dean Martin (1917-1995) American actor

-527- A woman without a man is like a fish without a


bicycle.

Gloria Steinem (1934- ) American journalist

-528- Looking for fish? Don’t climb a tree.

Chinese proverb

185
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-529- What we call the beginning is often the end. And to


make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where
we start from.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) English poet, Nobel prize in literature


1948

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http://en.Mr-Wit.eu

187
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Index
A
Adams, Douglas, 300-426-444
Allen, Fred, 345-467
Allen, Woody, 303-337-379-390-407-425
Anderson, Judith, 254
Andretti, Mario, 321
Aristotle, 84-152-181-195-198-219-230-253-269-293-295
Ajay, Abe, 523

B
Bach, Richard, 332
Bachelard, Gaston, 72
Bacon, Francis, 283-297
Beaumarchais, Pierre, 501
Benchley, Robert, 402
Berne, Eric, 107
Bierce, Ambrose, 366-422-453-476-481
Birkett, Lord, 499
Bismarck, von Otto, 109
Blass, Bill, 473
Bluestone, Ed, 395
Bohr, Niels, 14-108-306
Bombeck, Erma, 396-412-488-495
Bonaparte, Napoleon, 258
Bowen, Elizabeth, 87
Buddha, Gautama, 155-170-200-224-228-239-283
Brandt, Willy, 134
Braun, Wernher, 184
Breton, Andre, 351
Brown, Les, 210
Buffet, Waren, 110
Burke, Edmund, 9-227
Burroughs, William S., 36
Busch, Adolphus, 486

C
Camus, Albert, 277
Carlyle, Thomas, 2
Carlin, George, 493
Cavett, Dick, 319
Chuang-Tzu, 59
Chesterton, G. K., 5-16-94-415-461

188
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Churchill, Winston, 3-69-72-505


Claussen, A. W., 525
Cochrane, Peter, 16
Colton, Charles Caleb, 164
Confucius, 8-232-236-243
Corelli, Marie, 506
Cummings, E. E., 83-182-220
Cuppy, Will, 371-411-438-475-478

D
Dahlberg, Edward, 41
Dalai Lama, 45
Dali, Salvador, 378
Dangerfield, Rodney, 374-392-463
Davis, Miles, 73
Dean, Dizzy, 516
DeGeneres, Ellen, 479
Descartes, Rene, 262
Dickson, Paul, 359
Diogenes, Sinope, 234
Disney, Walt, 524
Disraeli, Benjamin, 32
Dobson, Austin, 233-292
Duchess, of Windsor, 436
Dr. Seuss, 413
Durant, Will, 120
Dyer, Wayne, 125

E
Eason, Jim, 318
Eban, Abba, 357
Einstein, Albert, 324
Eisenhower, Dwight D., 347
Eledge, Scott, 522
Eliot, George, 121
Eliot, T.S., 529
Emerson, Ralph Waldo, 50-91-180-221
Epictetus, 222
Epstein, Julius, 418
Escher, Maurits, 301
Evans, Edith, 377

F
Faulkner, William, 343

189
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Ferrier, David, 440


Fields, W. C., 350-394-489-498-521
Fontaine, Jean, 122
Ford, John, 469
France, Anatole, 362
Franklin, Benjamin, 60
Freud, Sigmund, 106-175
Frost, Robert, 410-443

G
Gabor, Zsa Zsa, 356-398-455
Gandhi, Mahatma, 29-56-145-213-257-434
Gauguin, Paul, 64
George, V, 468
Getty, J. Paul, 387
Gibran, Kahlil, 93
Gibson, William, 58
Giraudoux, Jean, 380
Gluckman, Max, 416
Goethe, Johan Wolfgang, 10-27-81-114-124-201-263-289
Goldwyn, Samuel, 383-450
Gourmont, Remy de, 352
Goya, Francisco, 245
Grizzard, Lewis, 317
Guitry, Sacha, 151

H
Hadas, Moses, 360
Heinlein, Robert, 459
Heinrich, Heine, 313
Hemingway, Ernest, 148-260
Hepburn, Katharine, 334
Heraclitus, 18-48-156-178-250-286
Herold, Don, 414
Hesse, Herman, 11-101-185
Hill, Napoleon, 214-238
Hightower, Jim, 433
Hoffer, Eric, 167-172
Horace, 339

Huxley, Aldous, 52-67-187

J
Jefferson, Thomas, 349

190
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Jerome, Jerome K., 403


Johnson, Samuel, 17-35-517
Jung, Carl Gustav, 157-235-247-348

K
Keller, Helen, 189-211-231-294
Kennedy, Florynce, 328
Kettering, Charles, 143-335
King, Martin Luther Jr, 102-290
Kingston, Miles, 458
Kissinger, Henry, 85-470
Klee, Paul, 130

L
Lactantius, 280
L’Amour, Louis, 1
Landers, Ann, 163
Lao-Tzu, 74-146-199-216-273
Lappos, Nick, 21
Larson, Doug, 330
Lauer, Matt, 409
Lawer, Jerry, 471
Lennon, John, 19
Levant, Oscar, 507
Levenson, Sam, 326-448
Levine, Michael, 38
Lewis, Joe E., 397
Lewis, Wyndham, 310
Liebling, A. J., 70
Lincoln, Abraham, 325
Lippmann, Walter, 237
Little, Mary, 449
Locke, John, 261
Longworth Roosevelt, Alice, 315
Loren, Sophia, 417
Lorenzoni, Larry, 171-485
Lowell, Abbott Lawrence, 376

M
MacInnes, Helen, 123
Mackenzie, Compton, 462
Marquis, Don, 62-77
Marsano, Bill, 510
Martin, Dean, 526

191
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Marx, Chico, 427


Marx, Groucho, 312-361-386-406-431-460-513-518-520
Marx, Karl, 105
Matisse, Henry, 117
Mencken, H. L., 375
Michelangelo, 4
Miller, Henry, 179
Mimran, Patrick, 115
Montaigne, Michel de, 268
Morgan, Augustus de, 428
Morrison, Jim, 127
Mumford, Ethel Watts, 229
Munro, Hector Hugh, 490

N
Nana, 54
Nathan, George Jean, 456
Nin, Anais, 78-226
Niven, Laurence van Cott, 265

O
O’Malley, Austin, 311
O’Connor, Flannery, 305
O’Keeffe, Georgia, 129-446
Olsen, Tillie, 500
O’Rourke, P. J., 333

P
Proverb, Haitian, 401
Proverb, African, 149
Proverb, Guanese, 25
Proverb, Zen, 97-249-256
Proverb, Tibet, 100
Proverb, Japanese, 76-205-242
Proverb, Spanish, 423
Proverb, Italian, 251
Proverb, Chinese, 43-66-92-166-204-209-223-528
Proverb, Dutch Antilles, 215
Proverb, Russian, 80-405
Proverb, Scottish, 482-491
Pasternak, Boris, 103
Patton, George S., 22-49-346
Pauli, Wolfgang, 508
Picasso, Pablo, 13-20-57-135-519

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Piggy, Miss, 487


Plato, 141-218-252-271
Poe, Edgar Allan, 96
Popper, Karl, 142-144-193-225

Q
Quayle, J. Danforth, 322

R
Rabelais, François, 39-98-382
Rao, P. V. Narasimha, 358
Reade, Charles, 111
Renard, Jules, 113-331-388-511
Rivers, Joan, 404-483
Robbins, Tom, 75
Robin, Williams, 437
Rochefoucauld, François, 7-133-203-244-266-281
Rockefeller, John, 88
Rohn, Jim, 207-288
Rogers, Will, 320-329
Rooney, Andy, 496
Rosenberg, Joel, 355
Rossini, Gioacchino, 307
Russell, Bertrand, 53-192

S
Saint-Exupery, Antoine de, 34-139-240-244-258
Santayana, George, 278-285
Sartre, Jean-Paul, 136-173
Schopenhauer, Arthur, 116-147
Schulz, Charles, 424-445
Schweitzer, Albert, 457
Seneca (the elder), 55-194-241-291
Shaw, George Bernard, 40-61-89-90-99-246-430-494
Simpson, Homer, 408
Smith, Sydney, 270
Socrates, 162-188-502-504
Spock, Benjamin, 451
Steinem, Gloria, 527
Stevens, Wallace, 12
Stiles, Lorren, 454

T
Tagore, Rabindranath, 131

193
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Τeresa, Mother, 140


Thoreau, Henry David, 255
Tolstoy, Leo, 158
Truman, Harry S., 342-480
Twain, Mark, 26-304-484

V
Van Gogh, Vincent, 95-132
Varese, Edgard, 150
Vidal, Gore, 336
Vinci, Leonardo da, 37-119-138
Vine, Tim, 363-369-464
Virgil, 206
Vivekananda, Swami, 86-112
Voltaire, 42-207-279

W
Waterson, Bill, 327-389-400-435
Wattles, Wallace, 264-300
Watts, Alan, 90
Weedn, Flavia, 71
West, Mae, 452
Whistler, James McNeil, 323
Wilcox, Ella Wheeler, 15
Wilde, Oscar, 104-391-515
Wilson, Edmund, 275
Wittgenstein, Ludwig, 22-128-154-183-190-196-217-272-275-
284-296-298
Wright, Frank Lloyd, 514
Wright, Orville, 267
Wright, Steven, 308-368-370-393-466-472-474-477-503-509-
512

Y
Youngman, Henny, 365-429-465

194