Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guidebook:

SECRETS OF LEADERSHIP SUCCESS

IN THE DIGITAL AGE
In todays digital world, when a staff meeting is called it most likely includes a conference bridge,
online meeting, or video chat. Organizations and their teams are more spread out than ever before.
Without the face to face interactions it can be more challenging for managers to create alignment,
maintain accountability, and reach objectives. Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guide will give
you the tools to build relationships that create trust, ensure alignment, and build engagement so that
when it is time to perform your team is ready to execute and succeed.
Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guidebook:
HOW TO MERIT & MAINTAIN OTHERS TRUST

AVOID ARGUMENT
Set yourself apart by avoiding the arguments that most people would jump into with both feet.
B
 e willing to question your motives and methods. Is what you are about to do going to gain you favorable or
unfavorable attention? Can you gain respect as well?
S
 uccessful negotiators know that few arguments change peoples minds. Learn to value interdependence more
than independence and being right.
O
 bserve the arguments of others to see where there are possibilities for mutual insights and individual personal
growth. What can you do to encourage them to use grace and goodwill?
S
 ocial media can be a powerful tool to escalate an argument or to promote mutual understanding. Look for
examples when people could have taken the high road, but didnt.

NEVER SAY, YOURE WRONG

R
 ecognize that opposing parties have legitimate concerns and you will strengthen your ability to negotiate a
successful outcome.
W
 hen faced with opposition, try not to make differences of opinion sound bigger than they really are. Build upon
similarities and mutual concerns by keeping an open mind.
A
 lways default to diplomacy. Use a humble approach that acknowledges the possibility that you might be wrong,
not the other person. This creates the possibility for collaboration.
W
 illingly value the opportunity to collaborate over personal victory. Ask yourself, what greater good might we
create together if neither of us worries about who is right?
E
 xamine your recent online communications. Are there times when receivers of your communications may have
interpreted your tone to mean, You are wrong?
A
 void presenting an argument online. Conduct these communications more respectively, in face-to-face
conversation.

ADMIT FAULTS QUICKLY AND EMPATHETICALLY

N
 egative news spreads faster in the digital age. Get out in front of your mistakes right away. Let people know that
you genuinely care about the affect your actions have on others.
S
 ocial media can help us broadcast apologies quickly. Address rather than bury mistakes. You are human. Gain
forgiveness and the generosity of others so that you can move forward.
G
 ain perspective by examining the effects that hiding from mistakes has cost some celebrities and companies.
What lessons can you learn from these examples?
Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guidebook:
HOW TO MERIT & MAINTAIN OTHERS TRUST

BEGIN IN A FRIENDLY WAY

O
 nline communications should immediately communicate to the receiver, You are worth my time. How can you
ensure this happens with each message you deliver?
C
 hoose to begin in a civil tone rather than an emotional when there is potential for conflict. Regardless of your
feelings, take a moment to create a bond. Ask about the other person.
D
 ont make the mistake of holding the recipient accountable for your message. It is your action and approach that
will determine your ability to influence.
S
 tay away from abbreviated forms of communication (texts, chats) that limit the space and tone needed to build
friendly rapport. Use methods that allow you to fully express emotions necessary to nurture relationships.

ACCESS AFFINITY
D
 igital media allows us to look for commonality and connection points before we ever say, hello. Think about
possible connection points you have with others and reach out regularly.
G
 et people to say yes to your point of view by establishing affinity through social networks. The more yeses you
gain, the more likely you will be in getting others to accept your ideas.
R
 emind yourself to always see the situation from the others point of view so that you can determine the value
each of you gains by maintaining the relationship.
C
 reate affinity with individuals to begin a dialogue. Create affinity with groups to influence and expand a
community.

SURRENDER THE CREDIT

S
 how sincere gratitude to build your power to influence. Claim all the credit for an accomplishment and your
influence will likely diminish.
F
 ind ways to put the betterment of others first. When you do this others will likely reciprocate with a longer term
relationship.
When celebrating successes, defer the accolades. Instead highlight partnership and progress.
Dont look for favors from others. Do something genuine and heart-felt for them.
Observe the effect on others when you surrender the credit for your role in an achievement.
Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guidebook:
HOW TO MERIT & MAINTAIN OTHERS TRUST

ENGAGE WITH EMPATHY

A
 dopt a nobody is perfect attitude. Remember when communicating with others to ask yourself, How would I
feel and react if I were in his / her shoes?
R
 ecall a particularly difficult situation, current or in the past. Can you consider the other persons ideas and feelings
as important as your own?
A
 void making assumptions about others by taking time to research their current circumstances. Every second you
spend gaining understanding is an investment in the relationship.
E
 mpathy is not a networking tactic. Learn to be gracious and put others first especially during adversity if you want
to influence people.

APPEAL TO NOBLER MOTIVES

D
 oing business in the digital age is based on doing the business of humanity well. Identify actions you, colleagues
and companies could take to be more socially or globally responsible.
T
 ap into the power of social media to conduct the business of humanity. What could you do to rally people in the
virtual world to come together and do great work for a common cause?
W
 hen faced with difficult choices, encourage people to do the right thing and be part of something bigger than
themselves.
Identify company values have a clear link to the idealism most individuals aspire to. Point out these higher motives
to inspire positive action and cooperation.

SHARE YOUR JOURNEY

Regularly show ordinary people how they connect to a larger story to make them feel extraordinary.
E
 agerly share your mission and your listeners can become your strongest advocates. Your power to influence plays
out through them.
H
 ave the courage tell a personal story. There may be more value in the help it provides to you and to others than
the value you receive in keeping it private.
E
 liminate doubts about the relevance of your stories to others by always remembering, Life is not about meit is
about us!
U
 se all tools that are available to you to make your ideas pop. When you share your stories, others will too and
together you create a larger story and a larger community.

THROW DOWN A CHALLENGE

G
 reat lessons come from competitions. While connection is necessary to keep us thriving, competition is necessary
to keep us striving. What lessons have you learned from competition?
Encourage the best from yourself and others by seeking out challenges and idea collisions.
L
 ook around your sphere of influence for an area that could lead to a competition that would have greater
importance than just reaching the finish line. Throw down that challenge!
W
 hat challenge could you make to a social network that would spark positive change and potentially builds lasting
friendships through the experience?
Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guidebook:
HOW TO LEAD CHANGE WITHOUT
RESISTANCE OR RESENTMENT
BEGIN ON A POSITIVE NOTE
S
 tart conversations with honest and genuine appreciation; your listeners will be less defensive and more open to
your ideas.
A
 void presenting people with the harsh realities first. The negative aspects of the message may block out the
positive and your listeners may only hear problems or criticism.
R
 ecognize that our perceptions are not always in line with truth. Take time to test your underlying assumptions
about problem situations.
M
 ake sure the positive comments you deliver are authentic and not just an opener for later criticism. Acknowledge
the value that the other person brings to the situation.
R
 esist the urge to promote drama in your organization. Dont however water down a negative message, reporting
it inaccurately, or ignore it completely.
Refrain from using the word but after any positive message to build credibility with your listeners.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR BAGGAGE

A
 dmit to mistakes. It creates an opportunity for you as a leader. It shows you are human and makes it easier for
other people to relate to, and respect you, and be open to your advice.
D
 irect the other persons attention away from his or her own mistakes on to yours to avoid raising his or her
defenses immediately.

CALL OUT MISTAKES QUIETLY

R
 ather than punish wrong behaviors, use the situation to build self-confidence and a deeper connection. Avoid
criticism that can cause defenses to go up leading to more conflict.
Treat mistakes as isolated, redeemable instances rather than fatal flaws.
T
 alk with people privately about their mistakes and always keep in mind, you goal is to return them to a place of
confidence and strength.
Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guidebook:
HOW TO LEAD CHANGE WITHOUT
RESISTANCE OR RESENTMENT
ASK QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF GIVING DIRECT ORDERS
Interview artfully and listen to the responses of people closest to any situation. It will improve your ability motivate
others. They will likely do what is expected without you telling them.
A
 sk questions to surface new perspectives. If you rely only on your answers you may miss an opportunity to
achieve a greater result through engaging others.
A
 sk individuals for their self-appraisals before giving your feedback on their performance. Use this as the basis for
setting goals and identifying areas of improvement.
B
 e willing to honestly assess your own performance. How willing are you to respond to a direct order? Would you
perform differently if you were asked, rather than told?
U
 se digital messages to send questions to people in advance. This allows everyone to prepare for face-to-face
conversation and be more involved in the outcome.

MITIGATE FAULT
T
 ake the time to let the other person save face. Even if he or she is wrong we can do nothing to change the
behavior.
H
 elp others turn their failures around by making it safe for people to learn from their mistakes. Tap into their
creative and innovative ideas for improvement.
E
 veryone has a fear of failure. Ask yourself how you and your team can share lessons learned in order to become
more resilient in the face of future problems.
A
 cknowledge failures and encourage discussion of problems and risks openly. This builds understanding and a
level of trust.
A
 primary difference between ordinary and extraordinary people is how they perceive and respond to failure. How
can you as a leader influence which camp a person falls into?
D
 igital media can make faults and missteps more public. Adopt a strict discipline to only use phone and face-to-
face meetings for criticism. Save your written communications for praise.

MAGNIFY IMPROVEMENT
S
 end a clear message that others have performed well and are important to the success of the organization by
delivering specific praise for a job well done.
U
 se digital messages to help you praise people publically and immediately. There is no excuse for delay until the
next face-to-face meeting.
G
 ive praise when people achieve good results. Give encouragement all the time, even when things go poorly.
Remember to continually look for the strengths and potential in people.
L ook back over the past month and evaluate your performance on delivering praise and encouragement. What
things would you change? What messages would you deliver?
T
 ell someone that you have total faith in his/her ability to accomplish a goal, encourage him/her along the way
and he/she will prove you right and excel.
Dale Carnegie Trainings Leadership Guidebook:
HOW TO LEAD CHANGE WITHOUT
RESISTANCE OR RESENTMENT

GIVE OTHERS A FINE REPUTATION TO LIVE UP TO

Lead individuals to achieve things they dont believe possible by helping them to define success.
S
 et expectations high and show unwavering support and encouragement to people as they make those
expectations a reality.
C
 hange a persons behavior by changing the level of respect he or she receives. Act as though the behavior you
want to influence is already the persons strength.

STAY CONNECTED ON COMMON GROUND

H
 elp people to feel glad to do what is being asked. Do this by connecting to common goals. Identify what would
make the situation a win-win for everyone.
T
 o find the one degree that connects us rather than separates us, use social media to find common interests,
experiences and goals.
W
 rite to the people you want to learn more about. Your common interests and well framed questions will often
bridge the gap in your acquaintance.
Connect with people you dont know who have reached out to learn more about you and your success.
S
 ocial media makes transparency, outreach and openness easier and more important than ever. Use these tools to
seek answers and act on the information you receive rather than ignore it.
R
 emind yourself to ask people about their desires and dreams. These give you keen insights into what motivates
them.
W
 in friends and influence people by creating interdependence and maintaining connections by keeping the
common ground in sight.

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Copyright 2012 Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved.
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