isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. COURSE: GETTING BACK TO HAPPY 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Go of the Uncontrollable WRITTEN by MARG CHERNOFF // 50 COMMENTS hp imma marcandange.con2015/11/80things-youdearn-2s-youet-go-ofthe uncontrollable!isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. It's always necessary to accept when some part of your life has reached its inevitable end. Closing the door, completing the chapter, turning the page, etc, ~ it doesn't matter what you title it; what matters is that you find the strength to leave in the past those parts of your life that are over. It's all about embracing the truth: What has happened is. uncontrollable; what you do now changes everything! Of course, knowing this and actually living a lifestyle that reinforces this truth are two very different things. Letting go is, NOT easy ~ it's a journey that is traveled one day ata time. Ifyou stick with it, here's what your journey will ultimately teach you: 1 The most powerful changes happen in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over everything you don't. 2. Most people make themselves unhappy simply by finding it impossible to accept life just as it is presenting itself right now. 3. If you worry too much about what might be, and wonder too long about what might have been, you will ignore and completely miss what is. 4, When you are lost in worry, itis easy to mistake your worries for reality, instead of recognizing that they are just thoughts ‘Mindfulness is the remedy. 5. The biggest obstacle to growth you'll ever have to overcome is your mind. Once you can overcome that, you can overcome anything 6, Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a little while, and that includes YOU. (Read Wherever You Go, There You Are) 7. You won't always have it easy, but there is always a reason to be grateful, And the greatest gift of your gratitude is that the morte grateful you are, the more present you become. hp imma marcandange.con2015/11/80things-youdearn-2s-youet-go-ofthe uncontrollable! 2012017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. something new. 9. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about something or someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only thing you really have control over is yourself in this moment. 10, In most cases, you can't calm the storm — it's not worth trying. What you can do is calm yourself, and the storm will pass. Ul, You can always control the way you respond to what happens, and in your response is your power. 12, Oftentimes letting go is simply changing the labels you place on a situation - it's looking at the same situation with fresh eyes and an open mind. 13, There is absolutely nothing about your present circumstances that prevents you from making progress, one tiny step at a time, 14. The day you “understood” everything, was the day you stopped trying to figure everything out. The day you find peace and freedom again will be the day you let everything go. 15. You must let go of certainty. And you must remember that the opposite of certainty is not uncertainty, it's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace life as itis, rather than resisting it. The ultimate challenge is to accept yourself exactly as you are, and accept life just as it is, but never stop trying to learn and grow to the best of your abilities. 16. Underneath it all, the hardest part is not really letting go, but rather learning to start over. 17. Stepping onto a brand new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation that no longer fits, or no longer exists, 18, Sometimes it takes a little heartbreak to shake you awake, help you let go, and show you that you are worth so much more than you were settling for. 19, When it comes to social drama, letting go of other people's rude remarks is the best step forward. Most haters don't really hate you; they just hate where they are in life, and hp imma marcandange.con2015/11/80things-youdearn-2s-youet-go-ofthe uncontrollable! ait2017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.) 20. Your heart might be bruised, but it will gradually heal and become capable of feeling the beauty of life once again. It's happened to you before, and it will happen again - life is always changing. When something ends or someone leaves, it’s because something else or someone else is about to arrive = you will feel alive and whole again soon. Afterthoughts It can be difficult to leave a long-term life situation behind, even when your inner-wisdom tells you that things aren't right and it's time to let go. At this point, you can choose to let go and endure the sudden pain of leaving behind the familiar to make way for a new chapter in your life, or you can stay and suffer a constant, aching pain that gradually eats away at your heart and mind, like a cancer... until you wake up one day and find yourself buried so deep in the dysfunction of the situation that you barely remember who you are and what you desire. Don't do this you yourself! ‘Things will happen that are unexpected, undesirable, and uncontrollable, But you can always choose to take the next tiniest step. Be brave and take it Be willing to make mistakes, learn from them, let go of them, and move along. Your turn... What's one uncontrollable past event or life situation that you need to let go of? What attachments are creating unnecessary stress in your life? Leave a comment below and let us know how you feel and what you intend to do about it. Also, if you haven't done so already, be sure to sign-up for our free newsletter to receive new articles like this in your inbox each week, hp imma marcandange.con2015/11/80things-youdearn-2s-youet-go-ofthe uncontrollable! 401isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. 9.2% 28 339 Enter your email Email Address to get new articles like this delivered for free. Join 130,000+ subscribers and get life-changing Ideas in your inbox: Powered by Convertkit ‘Comments Pete Hyatt says November 8, 2015 at 10:57 pm. This was an awesome summary of acceptance (letting go). Thank you. Your post reminds me of a quote I often repeat to myself as an affirmation: "The key to peace and happiness is accepting things as they are, not as you think they should be.” ‘Too many of us continue toward the ideal of “what should be,” when the smartest strategy is to understand that “what is’ and then make the best of it. Accepting and letting go of an unchangeable, tough situation/relationship/etc. is rarely easy, but always worth it, as it hp imma marcandange.con2015/11/80things-youdearn-2s-youet-go-ofthe uncontrollable! 51isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Reply Mare Chernoff says November 11, 2015 at 10:30 pm Tlove that affirmation and perspective, Pete, Thank you for sharing your thoughts Reply Mara says November &, 2015 at 11:17 pm Mare, I'm truly enjoying your blog, book and emails. And this says alot because I'm a bit of a cynic and don't usually buy into self- improvement jargon. But I really enjoy your perspective. As it relates to this post, I know I have much to let go of. As my 40th birthday approaches, I'm struggling with the difference between what I expected my life to be at this point vs. the way my life actually is. The two are not similar in the slightest. It’s difficult to accept that I have not accomplished what Iset out to do, largely because of an uncontrollable illness. It was really helpful to read your common-sense reminders here. As I meditate on them and ritualize them (incredible strategies I picked up from your coaching course) and try to apply them to my life situation, I know they will gradually help me reframe what my life is and create a new vision for my present and future Reply Rose Costas says November 9, 2015 at hp imma marcandange.con2015/11/80things-youdearn-2s-youet-go-ofthe uncontrollable! a12017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. you are in and believe me it is so hard to accept, I too have set, goals and have worked hard, harder than most but Ihave very little to show for it. I do believe it will get better and sol continuously work hard and try to do the right things but sometimes it is hard. just wanted you to know that you aren't alone. Reply Steve says November 11, 2015 at 5:10 am Have you tried using a gratitude diary. It is an amazing thing, which gradually transforms your consciousness into seeing more beauty around you. In the evening, pethaps, just write down five ‘things that you are grateful for that day. It could be seeing a beautiful tree waving in the wind, it could be the freshness of a glass of water , Think about water it is so magical. Think about the tree, it to is it wonderful product of evolution . These things are not small things . Learning to appreciate them more and not just taking them for granted is so beneficial to one’s sense of well- being It could be a smile from a stranger, a friend calling you up, Or the lovely orange jumper that I see in your photo. We all have so much that we can be grateful for. ‘Susan says November 9, 2016 at 1116 am Mara, Life is never wasted if you can find was to re-frame the stories, you tell yourself about what happened. What you hoped for as success and what happened may be two different things, but based on what did happen, what is now possible that would not have been had things gone differently? Lost my job, my home and a tremendous amount of money because of someone else's actions which I had no control over. Things are not going to turn out the way I planned. I'm a decade tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 712017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. never would have had time for if my life hadn't been disrupted. What IS possible for you? Reply ‘Marc Chernoff says November 11, 2015 at 11:01 pm Mara, I couldn't have said it any better than Rose, Steve and Susan. Beautiful thoughts, Thank you all. Reply Kristin says November 8, 2015 at 11:40 pm Thank you yet again, Marc and Angel. These reminders needed to be heard at my end. Ihave come to realize and accept that lam not good at “letting go.’ It sounds so obvious and makes perfect sense, but my emotional heart still strives to hold on and create an idea of who he is and what we "could be,’ despite that never being the reality. But even just reading these words reminds me that others too are struggling with this same issue in various ways, and that makes me feel less alone and gives me hope that | too can persevere. Reply Suz says November 9, 2015 at Tcan very well relate to that. But in my case it was ‘we could never be’. But I still hung on. .. Not able to let go, though that is the ONLY way out. Reply tp imma marcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-youet-go-oFthe uncontrollable! atisr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. ‘Sandra Pawula, Always Well Within says November 8, 2015 at 11:45 pm I definitely have one I'm working on! I love your key point that so much of our suffering is created by our unwillingness to let go. It's ironic how we make ourselves suffer so much needlessly. I find some of the things that I cling to very subtle thought so as you say it’s a journey! This is what life is all about: transformation. Reply Mare Chernoff says November 11, 2015 at 11:03 pm Glad you resonated with this Sandra. It’s great to see you around here again too. Reply Lindsay says November 9, 2015 at 12:31 am ‘Thank u so much for posting this. [needed it. I literally just had a major falling out with 2 grown family members tonight right before I read this. They're miserable negative people who hate their lives and refuse to do anything to change it It's all blame, all day. They use my positive attitude against me like I don't understand what they're going thru, and tonight they said some very mean things to me, again. I want to help them so much it just breaks my heart that I can't. It's their life. And I can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves, Thank u for reminding me it's ok to feel this way and not to feel like a failure. Maybe I can sleep tonight. Reply tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! at20 Things You Gractally Learn a You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. ‘My 62 year old husband is in a nursing home, He has early onset dementia | totally agree with what you are saying, but I don’t really know what to let go of or what even a small step forward would be. Debra S. Reply Marc Chemoff says November 1], 2015 at 11:06 pm Lindsay and Debra, the first step is presence. Just being with life (and it's situations) and accepting it, without trying to change things, Positive change can only come from acceptance, not resistance Sending prayers of strength to you both, Reply Suz says November 9, 2015 at 1:40 am Struggling with a very delicate relationship issue. And have trouble of letting it go, though it definitely is not a right one. My head is clouded. I can’t think straight, No one to share my feelings with, except this one person. I know I have to let go. He realized this a couple of weeks ago and started making changes, without telling me. I feel cheated. I know, I sound confused, but that's the state Iam in, Reply November 11, 2015 at 11:30 pm hp imma marcandange.con2015/11/080things-youdearn-2s-youret-go-oFthe uncontrollable! sot2017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. where you are and the one thing you need to do today to step forward from here. Reply Rose Costas says November 9, 2015 at 2:52 am Thanks Mare for another awesome post. It is so good to be reminded of the things you already know but some how fail to implement in your life. i have struggled with trying to control things I cannot control and unfortunately many times I am left frustrated, angry and bitter, Worst of all I find it hard to appreciate what is as Tbelieve what is, is never as good as what was. Reply Steve says November 9, 2015 at 9:28 am ‘Thanks Marc for an awesome post. Ihave been dealing with the struggles of letting go of an on again off again relationship that was the product of an affair. It's been 6 years and I am still having a hard time letting go of her. Your articles seem very useful and very informative, I am starting to let go but my wounds are very deep and it will take a long time for those open wounds to heal. In the beginning I thought it was all my fault but now I realize that the dysfunction of my previous relationship was a combination of cheating and lies from both sides. I do still love her very much however to accept her would also be accepting the lies and deceit and not really caring or valuing myself. Letting go was very difficult and to some extent Iam still letting go. Keep up the great posts as it helps me know who what I am worth again. tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yout-go-ofthe-uncontrallable! net20 Things You Gracually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Lissom Olamide Osibajo says November 9, 2015 at 9:44 am I can't appreciate you guys enough because each time I read one or two of your articles I kind of get this upliftment and reassurance that everything will soon be alright. Ilost my Job and | find it difficult to letting go that I went back begging for them to re-employ me and that's because I have tried every other means possible in getting another but it hasn't been easy now am down,ill and unhappy. I get this response from people I went asking for a job if you know the governor or the Oba/king just get a letter from them and a job will be created for you. Its so sad! Does employment have to be based on connection or ability? But its ok everything will be fine soon. Reply Annie says Thave just left a 33 year marriage, my heart is still broken but I realized in reading your post today that, bad as I feel now, it is nothing to how I would have felt if [had stayed. I just have to lear to” let go” not only of the end of a marriage but also the guilt of leaving ‘Thank you for helping me see this Reply. Mare Chernoff says November 11, 2015 at 11:32 pm tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 201isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Reply Stan says I really relate to #19. People sometimes approach me with ideas or solutions to my problems (they mean well, but a lot of times, I don't even realize I have a “problem’....lol), and when I listen to them, but decide that is not what I want, they will criticize me for it even to the point of telling me I'm not very smart, to put it politely. I used to take that to heart, but since I've learned to let it roll off my back, life is much better. Ihave also removed myself from as many of these people as possible. One thing I always notice is that those same people are not enjoying life as much as | am! Reply Susan says November 9, 2015 at 11:09 am Oy! I can relate. The pain of letting go can be overwhelming to the point of being debilitating. I have discovered one vital secret that you alluded to in point #12, You called it the labels we place on a situation. [call it our stories. For me it was the story I was telling myself about why the situation happened. When I was finally able to look objectively at what someone else did and accept that it was never about me, or about rejecting me, but it was about themselves, their needs and their dysfunction, I changed my story. I took control of what I chose to believe about the situation. The “truth” I had been clinging to about being rejected, and which caused such tremendous pain, was not true at all. It was a belief I accepted based on a self image created when I was very, very tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 13012017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. ourselves about ourselves, our worth and the world around us. If you can discover the genesis of that perception (usually rooted in early childhood) you can look at it with adult eyes and re-evaluate itas true or not. Thanks for the great, insightful work you are sharing with the world! Reply Rash says November 9, 2015 at 11:32 am Thank you Marc and Angel for explaining things really well. 1 have a troubled marriage and I find solace in your articles. Iwant to let go of my attachment to m husband. He was the first man in my life and Ihave a § year old child with him. He has always been emotionally distant to me, Maybe he fears intimacy because of his motherless childhood. He became very much attached to his aunt whom he considered his mom. But with time Irealised she uses his vulnerability for her benefit and manipulate s him to remain detached to me. She always finds fault with my efforts to love him. My husband shares every little bedroom talk with her. The more I try explaining things to him the more he becomes violent both physically and verbally. I feel both angry at his foolishness and sorry for his innocence. Iam losing hope now. I love him and want him to understand his priority but to no avail. Somehow, [have to stay in this marriage but at the same time remain detached to him. His gestures hurt me making me feel worthless. | live in a joint family and give my 100% to make things work. I need to stop nagging him and live a peaceful life. Rather compassion less life for my child. How do I loose attachment to my husband? Or make him realise my worth, Reply tp imma marcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-youet-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 401isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Please do not make excuses for his unacceptable behavior, at your expense. It doesn’t sound like he fears intimacy when he’s telling his aunt, to whom he has such a great attachment, your most intimate bedroom talks. Until we learn to love ourselves first, we will never insist on the love and respect we are worth, and instead continue to settle for the injustices we believe we deserve. Reply Celia Chase says November 9, 2015 at 11:40 am What are you supposed to do when you find out your SO has cancer. It isn't that easy to let that go. I'm angry and he's in denial. Iwant to help him, but I don’t know how. Reply November 9, 2015 at 12:45 pm. ‘Thank you for your wise compassionate advice! Five years ago I unexpectedly lost my Soul Mate Dan to a heart attack. We had been Best Friends, Business Partners and loving Life Companions for over 23 years so it was a devastating blow. My beloved Mom had passed away a couple of years before so now Thad lost the two greatest loves in my life. Fortunately dear friends and my faith in God got me through this extraordinary loss. Then due to the Great Recession and BP oil disaster Fiasco Ilost all my money due to real estate investments along the Gulf coast. Afterwards my father died and disinherited tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 15012017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. siblings leaving me out. had now lost everything, I put my life back together and met another guy who professed great love. I was very vulnerable and decided in good faith to share a life with him, As it turned out he was deeply disturbed and I experienced great betrayal from himself as well as a few false friends. I was now completely shell shocked! had some very dark lonely nights of deep despair but never gave up my faith that God strives to bring Light out of darkness and Good out of evil. About six months ago I met a wonderful beautiful spirit. We fell in love and are sharing a life together. We bring much happiness to each other and feel like we have known each other forever. He has also experienced betrayal and was faithfully married toa deeply disturbed individual for decades. After she told him about an on-going two year affair she was still having, he filed for divorce, ended this dysfunctional marriage and came to terms with his own identity. He has completely, courageously shared this information with his children and friends most of whom have embraced his happiness. I feel like Ihave gone from hell to Heaven but it scares me because of the horrible uncontrollable losses I have experienced over the past several years. You have to. believe! Your article about letting go so you may embrace your future was timely and greatly appreciated. Thank you again! Reply David Rapp says Its been a while since I posted anything, I like this list a lot. T struggle with not attaining goals, clinging on to some thoughts I have had for decades that clearly need to go, and rethinking my tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yout-go-ofthe-uncontrallable! 1601isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Thave a ton of books to read, lots of people to reach out to, and a house that needs an overhaul. Earlier this year I gave up on all of it. Convinced nothing would change no matter what I did, I spun into a prolonged depression that no meds could alter. Its taken 5 months of personal interior clutter removal (I have been hoarding bad feelings, emptiness, despair, isolation, and condemnation) before I can finally see that am the only one who can change anything. My wife and Ihave struggled with injuries, surgeries, and recoveries since January. We are finally heading out on vacation over Thanksgiving, and we cannot wait to get on the road, Reply Welcome back, David. Thank you for sharing these thoughts with us. And enjoy your vacation. Be as present as possible with every moment of it, Reply Brian says November 9, 2015 at 116 pm Marc & Angel, Many of your blogs are about being positive. However, there are many undertones of “letting go” and "moving on”. [have watched both my parents take their last breathes and I know first hand tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! satisr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. You also discuss “how to deal with toxic people’ in your life. But I really don't see anything about "working on” or “sticking it out” with someone you love and desire to have in your life. 1 understand moving on from certain toxic people that are emotional vampires. But what about serious significant relationships? How do I work on being a better person when it comes to those types of relationships? Reply Marc Chernoff says November i, 2015 at 11:59 pm Brian, I think you may find value in this post: 4 Toxic Behaviors that Tear Couples Apa It's not a direct response, but should give you some relevant, perspective, Let me know what you think. Reply sarah says November 9, 2015 at 2:38 pm ‘Thank you. Your articles have really helped me and woken me up. Keep up the wonderful work. Reply Catherine says November 9, 2015 at 2:49 pm tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! sat2017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. of my closest friends. I have relied on your blog posts to remind that all will be better and I will find my way to a better place. Thank you, this one was timely for me. Reply Cheryl says November 9, 2015 at Thank you for your wonderful posts. I have sticky notes all over my computer at work to remind me of some of your very helpful thoughts. This particular post about letting go has been hitting home, [have been trying to let go of a relationship for a very long time. In the end, someone who was my everything, treated me as if [had meant nothing. It has been particularly difficult to understand how someone who said he cared so much for me and loved me, could treat me like that. That has been the hardest part for me. am going to keep this article with me to reference often. I believe it will help me to accept what is and hopefully help me to be able to let go and move on. Reply Robert Hagedorn says November 9, 2015 at 3:26 pm All 20 are great points. #2 can get us into politics very quickly. My personal favorite is #14. There is definitely SOMETHING going on, but what? This is a tough one for me. I cannot believe all my experiences are simply coincidences, not while [am experiencing them and not when I look back on them. Time to let go. Thank you for the post, Marc, Reply tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yout-go-ofthe-uncontrallable! 1901isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. rachel says November 9, 2015 at 3:41 pm Wow! Well, I just came on here to thank Marc and Angel for such an inspiring article that was so spot on, But I received so much more by reading everyone else’s heartfelt comments, life stories and advise. One thing I go by is to try not to blame, slander or take the victim mentality. I'm a survivor, not a victim. Even if it was 98 percent the other person's fault or circumstance and 2 percent my fault or me — I concentrate and work on the 2 percent and hold myself accountable. As crazy or twisted as it may seem, no matter how terrible the situation, I find that when I take up the mentality of “It's my fault” Reply. Rachel says 2015 at 356 pm Letting go is so hard, especially when you can't see a safety net below!! | am in my mid 30s and single- and panicking. I'm so afraid that I'll be alone forever, never meet anyone as special to me as my last partner was or that I will miss my chance to have a family-blah, blah, blah. Worrying and being scared takes up so much of my energy!! I know I need to let go of the panic and the fear and become more ‘present’. am failing to notice every lovely person and thing around me, This has been (yet another) incredibly useful post so my thanks, all the way from England © xx Reply tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 20091isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Thanks for the insightful post. I teally believe letting go is one of the most essential thing to do in order to move forward in life. Reply Bruce says November 10, 2015 at 6:22 am Hi Mare and Angel - again, thanks for a another wonderful post. I am in the process of working through the end of a relationship which initially devastated me. Reading the “afterthoughts” section was quite enlightening and helpful to me! Reply Christine says November 10, 2015 at 12:31 pm The last few on the list really hit home. Relationships seems to be my greatest challenge these days. There's always so much to reflect on. So many questions Ihave that will remain unanswered. Thank you for the sweet reminder, It's okay not to know. Reply Mansi says November 10, 2015 at 2:38 pm tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yout-go-ofthe-uncontrallable! 21a2017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. a jewel, and each thought is worth inculcating in our lives. Tam glad that I came across such emotional wisdom. Thanks Marc and Angel. Reply Rachel says Hey Marc and Angel, As I was reading down the post I was agreeing with each point Number 15 about self acceptance was probably the hardest one to embrace, but when I did ~ it is like I am in a constant self hug — working on my flaws and giggling at them a little and really giving my strengths a good shine. To answer your question on one uncontrollable situation that I need to let go of ~ my lesson happened over 15 years ago. I was in a dysfunctional relationship ({ thought it was love), this guy said one thing but acted another way. I was always confused and hurt by this. We were both in a late 20's and I left and returned three times. Each time I disliked what I was doing but my heart felt ripped out, so going back to a bad situation was better than a trampled heart. But it was to appear that I was going to be unhappy either way. When I left for the final time, it did take months to get over ~ but it was a relief as well. Ihad gotten used to so many horrible behaviours that Ino longer find attractive, useful or will entertain. While it would never happen again (the back and forth), it was a lesson I believe I had to go through. When things aren't healthy, you only hurt yourself when you hang on. Thanks for a wonderful post. Rachel. tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! zatisr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. mary says November 10, 2015 at 7:49 pm. I sincerely love reading your email every week and this one is certainly for me ~ my feet are stuck in the ground for the last 4 years im trying to change something that i know is not possible to change and all it's doing is destroying me as a person. I need to let go and move on with my life, and this post gives me reason to believe Ican, Reply Christy Marie says November 11, 2015 at 4:32 pm feel like when your posts pop up in my Facebook newsfeed, they reflect exactly what is going on in my life, For the past year, a very challenging situation has finally come to an end and in overcoming it all, the biggest lesson I am learning is how to let go. Suddenly, 1am able to see ALL the situations that I am holding on to from the past and how they are holding me back. I spend so much time reviewing the past and what happened only to prepare for the fearful future. In the meantime, I'm not paying attention or feeling gratitude for my life as it is now. I realized although I've forgiven everyone from my past, there was still one person I was overseeing, ME! My entire perspective has changed in realizing this and I've never felt so much internal peace Reply tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! aot2017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. Great article! Letting go is such a powerful tool. It’s only when one realizes that they don't need to control everything that wonderful things begin to happen. Reply Angel Young says Iwant to say thank you for your words of encouragement. There are no words to express on how much your quotes, blogs, etc, have changed my life. At my darkest time and to come across your website I do believe it was meant to be. Your 365 questions definitely threw me for a loop. I am 45 years old and the majority of the questions I couldn't answer or gave me the "Ah Ha” moment, At the very moment I have to admit my body was shell with a label “Angel”, Now I am finding out who Angel is and it isa scary and exciting feeling. Looking forward to meeting “Angel” Thank you so much for caring and taking the time to help others when they are need, You will never know how much you have helped people in their darkest times. Don't stop and god bless you. Reply. Patrice says November 19, 2015 at 11:19 pm 11/2 years ago I left my job of 24 years because I was not seeing eye-to-eye with my employer. My new responsibilities would take me away from my family, my 9 year old daughter particularly, for days at a time, My husband and I made the decision that I would end my employment for the better and less stress. Best thing I've tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 24a2017 20 Things You Gradually Leam as You Let Go ofthe Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. daughter. And my sanity and health. Your afterthoughts are spot on. All the time I talk through my previous life and my current life and know that the lack of money is the small price to pay. I feel like a better mother/wife now. I guess I could start playing the Wendy says December 4, 2015 at 5:23 pm Your words of encouragement and wisdom have been my comfort, during the past 6 months after walking away from a difficult relationship, breaking my heart in the process. As I've grieved and howled with the pain, I've read and re read so many of your wonderful articles, gaining hope, comfort, strength and courage from your advice ‘Now, 6 months later, almost at the end of it, having gained acceptance, peace and confidence that I did the right thing for me, but still suffering deep sorrow and loss for this very special man in my life, I realise I still need to let go. Your words. Sometimes it takes a little heartbreak to shake you awake, help you let go, and show you that you are worth so much more than you were settling for. are SO true, | AM worth more than the dregs this man gave me, T'm worth what he always told me. He could see it but not give and now I can. Time to let it go now, shrug off the loss and sorrow, look to the sun and a brighter future. Than you guys, you have helped me so much. X Reply tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 25101isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. kyle says 2015 at This has been one if the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. I am struggling with letting go of a relationship of almost 13 years. ‘My ex has had me on a string since the day she left, 3 years ago. When all said and done, I found out about the emotional infidelity, secrets, etc, Yeah, Thad my ills, Put her through things early but never saw this coming. Recently, she again, said she wanted "to try’. It resulted in a week's worth of great sex and her saying, “I think I changed my mind, I am not feeling you, it doesn't feel right, ete” To think she out our kids through the "reconciliation talk” and the whole 9 makes me ill. In the end, lam left wondering what happened, what was real, what should or could be, and why it isn't. Reply Gretiana says March 23, 2016 at 752 a So true. This reminds me about my battle at letting go of my narcissistic partner, I finally endured the immediate pain, but I'm. now living a long lasting joy. Thank you for this wonderful post. Reply Leave a Reply tp imwwmarcandange.con2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yourt-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 20091isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. 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You Need to Do These 2 Hard Things to Be Happy 20 Mantras that Will Adjust Your Attitude You Can't Adjust Anything Else) 9 Rampant Toxic Behaviors that Break Relationships Up ‘7 Things You Have to Stop Believing to Live a Successful Life On Your Own Terms 4 Things I Learned by Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone 850 Times in a Row 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself 6 Things Happy People Never Do 10 Painfully Obvious Truths Everyone Forgets Too Soon ‘9 Warning Signs You're in Bad Company hp imwwmarcandangel.conv2015/11/8tthings-youdearn-2s-yout-go-oFthe uncontrollable! 291isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrolable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. 20 Things to Start Doing in Your Relationships 12 Things Successful People Do Differently 50 Things Everyone Should Know How To Do 10 Choices You Will Regret in 10 Years 8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong 30 Challenges for 30 Days of Growth 25 Things You Need to Stop Wasting Time On 7 Smart Ways to Deal with Toxic People 10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go 5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships 10 Simple Truths Smart People Forget 12 Things Happy People Do Differently 50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind 30 Books Everyone Should Read Before Their 30th Birthday 18 Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I Was 18 ‘7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others 12 Dozen Places To Educate Yourself Online For Free 10 Habits You Must Quit to Be Happy 19 Signs You're Doing Better than You Think 60 Tiny Love Stories to Make You Smile Aspirations (367) Career (46) Cool (2) Google (13) Hacks (329) Happiness (531) hp imma arcandange.conv2015/11/80things-youdearn-2s-youet-go-oFthe-uncontrallable! 201isr2017 20 Things You Gradually Learn as You Let Goof the Uncontrlable When you learn a new way to think, you can master a new way to be... at Think Better, Live Better 2017. 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