12 Tips from the Sunnah to Communicate Effectively with Others

January 18, 2015Noorul Irfana Mashooq Rahman

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Credit: Flazingo Photos flickr[dot]com/photos/124247024@N07/13903385550/We communicate with people on a daily basis, and whats better than learning some important

types of etiquette that could improve our daily interactions! I personally worked as an elementary school teacher in Sharjah for a period of time. After Allah blessed me

with my third child, I couldnt get back to work and I didnt miss the work environment much except for a few wonderful things that used to happen. I reminisced all those small,

lovely things and especially remembered the peace greetings.

The school where I used to work, being an Islamic one, had the full Islamic greeting instilled in its students from an early age, so whenever I used to enter any classroom and utter

the greetings of peace, the entire class would reply, waalaykum as-salaam warahmatul laahi wa barakaatuh (and may the peace and blessings [of Allah] be upon you) in unison.

It was so beautiful, so pleasing to the ears and I had taken it for granted! Though I knew I could not have that many duas showered over me now that I was at home, I made a

mental note to use every talking/meeting opportunity (provided the kids werent crying or in tantrum-mode) to say the full greeting to everybody with the hope of receiving the

same beautiful greeting; a small decision with much to yield, In sha Allah.

We meet our brothers and sisters day in and day out. The sunnah of the Prophet has taught us everything including manners and etiquettes of communicating with people in

meetings, gatherings and elsewhere. If we were to follow the sunnah when communicating with people, we would be earning ourselves a great deal of reward, In sha Allah.

So, lets recall some fantastic communication tips from the sunnah. But before proceeding, remember that our intentions must be pure and sincere, and unnecessary communication

with non-mahrams of the opposite sex should be avoided as much as possible:

1. Smile: The Prophet said:

Your smiling in the face of your brother is charity. [Jami` at-Tirmidhi]

Before you start talking, smile! This is an instant ingredient to start any conversation positively and to remove any past ill feelings that could be present.

Smiling brings joy to the giver and the receiver (imagine being both!).

2. Pay attention to the tone and volume: Beware of your tone and the volume of your voice. Your tone determines whether you will make your relationship or break it. Any

undesirable loudness in your voice could put people off and make any further attempts to communicate futile.

And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys. [Quran: Chapter 31, Verse 19]

3. Start with the Islamic greeting of peace: Whether you know this Muslim or not, the greeting of peace or saying Assalaamu alaykum (peace be upon you) is recommended. It

will repel hatred and create love between you.

A man came to the Prophet and said: Peace be upon you! He responded to his salutation. He then sat down. The Prophet said: Ten [rewards]. Another man came

and said: Peace and Allahs mercy be upon you! He responded to his salutation when he sat down. He said: Twenty. Another man came and said: Peace and Allahs mercy and

blessings be upon you! He responded to him and said when he sat down: and blessings be upon you! He responded to him and said when he sat down: Thirty. [Sunan Abi Dawud]

Habituate yourself with saying the full and complete greeting and earn 30 rewards every single time you greet someone!

4. Shake hands: Accompany your greeting with shaking hands (if you are greeting your mahram or a person of your gender).

There are no two Muslims who meet and shake hands, but they will be forgiven before they part. [Sunan Ibn Majah]

5. Inquire about people: Ask them how they are doing and inquire about their health and well-being and that of their family and friends. They will feel loved and cared for.

6. Remember not all are the same: Consider peoples different characteristics and differences while communicating. Keep in mind their age, status, temperament and other

factors.

7. Teach at every opportunity: The Prophet used every chance to enjoin the good and forbid the evil. If there is ever a need for you to say something corrective in nature,

do so gently.

8. Refrain from the common evils of the tongue: People getting together and communicating with each other often leads to falling into various sins related to the tongue such as

talking about Allah without knowledge, slandering, lying, insulting and cursing. These habits are grievous sins that eat away at our rewards and the barakah in our lives:

make it a habit to ensure whether anything you are about to say may constitute any of these sins. And, if you were to indulge in joking, let the jokes be true. The Prophet

said:

A slave (of Allah) may utter a word which pleases Allah without giving it much importance, and because of that Allah will raise him to degrees (of reward): a slave (of Allah) may

utter a word (carelessly) which displeases Allah without thinking of its gravity and because of that he will be thrown into the Hell-Fire. [Sahih al-Bukhari]

9. Choose simple, concise words: Avoid complex language and sophisticated terminologies. Instead, try to stick to concise words and phrases that are of eloquence and seek to be

understood.The Prophet said:

I have been given superiority over the other prophets in six respects: I have been given words which are concise but comprehensive in meaning [] [Sahih Muslim].

He spoke with clarity and made people comprehend easily, sometimes by even repeating his words thrice.

10. Stay away from argumentation: Being nice is easy when youre dealing with nice people. But, practically speaking, this world has more to it than such people. Despite your

best efforts, you are bound to walk into not-so-nice people. Try not to fall into disputes and argumentation.

And obey Allah and His Messenger, and do not dispute (with one another) lest you lose courage and your strength depart, and be patient. Surely, Allah is with those who are As-

Sabirin (the patient ones, etc.). [Quran: Chapter 8, Verse 46]

 If you realize you are already in a dispute, be wise and argue with that which is better. Allah says:

And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he

was a devoted friend. [Quran: Chapter 41, Verse 34]

If you find the argument going nowhere positive, stop before you get angry, smile and retreat after trying your best to reconcile for when a man said to the Prophet Advise

me, he said: Do not get angry. He repeated his question several times and again the Prophet said: Do not get angry. [Bukhari]

11. End with the greeting: Before departing, smile, shake hands and greet people warmly with the salam.

12. In writing, start with Allahs Name: If you were to communicate in writing, in addition to the points above that are relevant, it is desirable to start your written

communication with Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem [In the name of Allah, the Continuously Merciful, the Especially Merciful]. This was done by the Prophet

numerous times when he dispatched letters to kings and heads of peoples and tribes.

So that was a list of the basic etiquette from the sunnah on communicating effectively with people. Smiling and starting with the salam, speaking kindly and gently, showing

warmth by shaking hands or a hug, giving due respect and/or showing love by considering the position of whom you are addressing, saying only that which is good and beneficial,

choosing to be patient and kind over being right, and always ending with a warm smile and the salam: what a beautiful way to create love in your brothers or sisters heart for you!

Heres a verse to further motivate you to communicate the sunnah way:

Whoever comes [on the Day of Judgement] with a good deed will have ten times the like thereof [to his credit], and whoever comes with an evil deed will not be recompensed

except the like thereof; and they will not be wronged. [Quran: Chapter 6, Verse 160]

I hope this reminder of communicating effectively by following the sunnah has benefited you, inshaAllah. Do share great ways youve discovered or tried in communicating

effectively with others.

I leave you with the best greetings: Wassalaamu alaykum warahmatul laahi wabarakaatuh! (May the peace and mercy and blessings of Allah be upon you).

About the Author:

Noorul Irfana Mashooq Rahman is a student of knowledge at American Open University and a mother of three children. She currently resides in United Arab Emirates and

aspires to pursue a career in writing and/or teaching.

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Islam & ProductivityCommunication, Habits, Social Productivity, Sunnah

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33 thoughts on 12 Tips from the Sunnah to Communicate Effectively with Others

1. Mohammed Noorulla says:
January 18, 2015 at 4:00 pm
It is nice to see such a beautiful article on such a effective subject alhumdulilah. In ISLAM for every step of life we easily have to follow our beloved prophet saw atlast I
appreciate for a kind reminder
Reply

2. Sabramin says:
January 18, 2015 at 4:03 pm
Jazaakallahu khairan May Allah accept it from you as an act of Ibadah and continue to purify your intention. Ameen
Reply

3. Mohammed Alfehaid says:

January 18, 2015 at 4:05 pm
Very beautiful article. Alhad to ALLAH that we are Muslims.
Reply

4. Sara Khan says:

January 18, 2015 at 5:06 pm
Assalamalaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh,
It is such a joy to read this article. You tend to forget these little things when you communicate with people from different walks of life and then tend to wonder, Why cant I get
through to them?. Thank you dear sister, for a wonderful and concise reminder!
JazakAllah Khair!!
Reply

5. Fadumo says:
January 18, 2015 at 5:20 pm
Assalamu aleikum warahmatulaahi wbarkaatuhu, thank you very much for this article, i have a problem communicating with people, i am afraid to offend someone or people not
understanding me, the moment i try to go to any gathering i see people talking and understanding each other but no one understands so i rarely meet people and that is hurting me, i
used to live in a house full of people but i am in a different country, a mother of four little children i have 3 friends my mother and my two uncles and they are all overseas. is there
anything that could help me.
Reply

1. Iso says:
January 19, 2015 at 2:50 am
Assalamualaykum sister Fadumo,
Where in the world are you living? there is help according to where you live inshallah. what sort of prpblems do you face whilst communicating?
there is an online sisters halaqa site called http://www.habibihalaqas.org/ that you can join. perhaps there are some halaqas you could join in your area? WHen i was isolated
and had problems communicating with people, i first joined a nice weekly halaqa that was family friendly, moms and dads and kids with a potluck, we woudl share and have
 kids playing running around between the moms and dads rooms. helped me a lot. alhmadulillah. the sisters were very forgiving and overlooked many mistakes i made and
made me feel welcome.
Reply

2. Yusuf Maroka says:

January 19, 2015 at 3:05 am
Self-esteem answers the question, How do I feel about who I am? We learn
self-esteem in our family of origin; we do not inherit it.
Global self-esteem (about who we are) is normally constant. Situational self-
esteem (about what we do) fluctuates, depending on circumstances, roles, and
events. Situational self-esteem can be high at one moment (e.g., at work) and
low the next (e.g., at home).
Low self-esteem is a negative evaluation of oneself. This type of evaluation
usually occurs when some circumstance we encounter in our life touches on our
sensitivities. We personalize the incident and experience physical, emotional, and
cognitive arousal. This is so alarming and confusing that we respond by acting in
a self-defeating or self-destructive manner. When that happens, our actions tend
to be automatic and impulse-driven; we feel upset or emotionally blocked; our
thinking narrows; our self-care deteriorates; we lose our sense of self; we focus
on being in control and become self-absorbed.
Reply

3. Mohamad says:
January 19, 2015 at 6:17 am
To Fadumo:
Assalamu Alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
In terms of spiritual advice, I recommend this:
1) Make duaa to Allah swt to improve your social speaking skills. Duaa can be made for anything as long as it is halal and realistic, so do not underestimate the power of
Duaa, and use this as an opportunity to even get closer to Allah swt. Make sure you take advantage of the recommended times to make duaa.
2) Make duaa to Allah to provide you with good friends and company.
3) When meeting people, always mention the duaa that Musa (pbuh) said in verses 25-28 in surat Taha.
4) Make sure you always read your morning and evening adhkar.
In terms of practical advice, I recommend:
1) Put yourself in situations where you interact with people more so you can practice after you make your duaas. Have tawakul on Allah, ask Him for success, and go for it!
2) Read or listen to self-help books concerning the matter.
3) Ask your close friends and family to give you advice concerning what you need to improve in terms of your skills. Ask someone who you know loves you and wont hurt
your feelings.
I ask Allah to make things easy for you and bless you the good company that you hope for.
Wassalamu alaikom wa rahmatullahi wa baraktuh
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Reply

6. Zanuuba says:
January 18, 2015 at 6:06 pm
As-salaam alaykum warahmatul laahi wa barakaatuh. Alhamdulillah..jazakallahu khairan for this beautiful piece. I can testify to the power of smiling at people, it goes a long
way. ..it warms their heart towards you. Definitely in the prophet Muhammad (saw) is the best example.
Reply

7. Sheima Salam Sumer says:

January 18, 2015 at 6:24 pm
JazakAllah khair for an inspiring and practical article. I love how we can apply the tips to our modern lives today!
 Reply

8. Muhammad Sharif Abdullahi says:

January 18, 2015 at 6:27 pm
this is very interested article and I find it very good
Reply

9. Hira Tariq says:

January 18, 2015 at 7:00 pm

Asalam u alaikum wa rehmatullahi wabarakatahu sis <3

a great reminder indeed !!
smtimes we forget these very basic etiquettes.
Reply

10. Nymah says:

January 18, 2015 at 7:06 pm


. Jazakumullah khayran. Thank you very much for another educative post. Its a welcome reminder, for as human we are always in need of constant
reminder of our basic etiquuettes and duties as Muslims.
Reply

11. Khalid says:

January 18, 2015 at 7:08 pm
Asalamu alaikum
When communicating with the opposite gender where should we have our gaze on. If that can be clarified that would be grate.
Jzk Allah Khiaren
Reply

12. Taji says:

January 18, 2015 at 7:49 pm
As Salaamu Alaikum,
Shukran Jazakullah Khair, this was a great article. It is a remembrance for all of us to abide the etiquets of Islam and to keep us free of fitnah. May Allah reward you for sharing
this information with us, Ameen.
Reply

13. Khadijah Muhammad says:

January 18, 2015 at 9:49 pm
Masha Allah! may Allah give us the ability to inculcate these etiquettes in our lives. Jazakumulahu khairan.
Reply
14. Hauwa'u Mahmoud says:
January 19, 2015 at 12:09 am
Alhamdulillahi Katheeran, this is quite an intresting and educative piece, and Jazakumullahu khayr, really you have tried and succeeded in changing the livse of many people
including I. You deserve a Job welldone.
Reply

15. Aziz says:

January 19, 2015 at 1:08 am
ma sha Allah a great article ,the tips are very easy to apply to real life,sunnah is simple to practice alhamdulillah.
Reply

16. Muna says:

January 19, 2015 at 1:25 am
We need more sunnah in our lives and alhamdulillaah, this is an awesome reminder! What an excellent example our prophet was (Peace and blessings be upon him).
JAZAAKILLAAH KHAIR FOR SHARING SIS HIRA!
Reply

17. Muna says:

January 19, 2015 at 1:28 am
I mean Sister Noorul sorry! Jazaakillaah Khair!
Loool, I was reading sister Hiras comment and thats why her name was in my head,
But may Allah still reward u all my dear sisters! Allaahumma aameen!
Reply

18. Mahbuba says:

January 19, 2015 at 2:12 am
assalamu alaikum.SubhanAllah its a nice article
Reply

19. Salma says:

January 19, 2015 at 2:23 am
Jazakallah khairan dear
Assalamu aleikum warahmatulaahi wbarkaatuhu,
Thanks a lot for reminding us.
Reply
20. Anjum Khan says:
January 19, 2015 at 2:45 am
jazakAllah khair mashaAllah a great artcles :-)
Reply

21. Nasreen Aslam Khan says:

January 19, 2015 at 2:47 am
Assalaamu Alaikum and JazaakAllah Khair for the very beautiful summarized reminder. May Allah SWT accept your Sadaqah Jaariyah and reward you immensely. Ameen. May
Allah SWT give all of us the tawfeeq to follow the Sunnah in our lives. Ameen.
Reply

22. Yusuf Maroka says:

January 19, 2015 at 3:08 am
Nothing to comment, I give it 5 stars. Just want to request for a permission to use it in forums and lectures for the purpose of spreading Islam
Reply

23. Mohammed Umar says:

January 19, 2015 at 3:23 am
Assalamu Allaikum,
what a very good reminder which enhances good reletionship of muslims and Islam as a complete way of life. It realy added to my productivity. Jazakallahu khair jazah.
Reply

24. Zam says:

January 19, 2015 at 3:37 am
JazakAllahu Khayr sister. Great article and reminders.
Wassalamu alaikum warahmatul laahi wabarakatuh.
Reply

25. Mahaboob Ganiyar. says:

January 19, 2015 at 5:13 am
Wa Alaikum Assalam Wa Rahamatullahi Wa Barakatahu, Alhamdulillah the tips are well presented, needs to put into practice in full.
Reply

1. MOHAMED ASHRAFF NAZIM says:

January 19, 2015 at 6:03 am
Well said
 Reply

26. MOHAMED ASHRAFF NAZIM says:

January 19, 2015 at 6:02 am
This is a most valuable article firstly and mainly focusing the attention of our Prophet (Sal:Al),s Sunnah and those who follow will never go wrong and on the other hand they will
highly rewarded by Almighty Allah. By the days are moving those who put into action these points will earn the respect and dignity from others. So why not we start right now
Reply

27. Basit says:

January 19, 2015 at 6:02 am
Excellent Article
Reply

28. Ikhlaas says:

January 19, 2015 at 6:51 am
Jazak Allah Hu Khair
Reply

29. Shafquat Zaman Solon says:

January 19, 2015 at 10:29 am
Jazak Allahu khairan for writing this encouraging article. :)
Reply

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