Statement of Fact

July 22 2016
By Brenda Everall

1. I feel as though I've been so horribly used and abused by members of this family, especially
since Grandpa came home from his last stay in hospital.

2. I've obviously been there for Grandpa and/or Grandma when they need me. I have made it clear
that I want to care for them whenever and wherever possible. I have been trusted to do this by
the family but I still feel that I am not being told important things and that my efforts are
minimized.

3. I feel that I am always being alienated from talks and arrangements that concern Grandpa. It
seems that there are behind the scenes talks occurring and that meetings are being held where
the agenda is potentially dishonest. I feel that I am being talked about in a negative light and
that I've been portrayed as a problem or a nut job.

4. I have am a certified medical office assistant. I've taken several courses to upgrade my
knowledge and skills. I have taken training through the CDC, Red Cross and various other
government training programs. I have read ample literature on modern medicine as well as
alternative medicine. I am trained to understand pharmacology. Though I'm not an expert I do
have a fundamental understanding of pharmaceuticals that I feel far superior to those in the
family who have been dealing with Grandpa's medicines thus far. I am authorized by the
Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers to practice social work. I have
taken training on Grandpa's specific type of cancer. I have also taken training for elder related
issues. I am confident that I have the skills, knowledge and common sense to give appropriate
care to Grandma and/or Grandpa. I've been trained in mediation, crisis management and conflict
management.

5. When Grandpa returned home from being hospitalized I dropped everything and got them into a
routine. Then, this past week the routine was upset and I feel that it was purposely upset. I was
not given the right to know that Grandma and Grandpa were being taken out of their home and
their routine and then since then Aunt Brenda and Uncle Ed took full control of the situation
whereby they made me feel very alienated and took over the care of Grandma and Grandpa and
took over the dispensing of the medication. To put it simply, the routine that Grandpa was
where we were beginning to see success was disrupted for whatever reason but now that they
are back in their home I'm expected to pick up where everything left off and take the daily
reigns again. Or so it seems.

6. I think it's dangerous to have so much up in the air. We need a solid plan. Grandpa did not want
to take hydromorphone. I personally promised him that it would not be given to him until his
pain was uncontrollable. Angel, his R.N agreed with me on Monday that we will fill the order
and keep the meds on hand just in case the pain returned and we couldn't get a script filled.

7. When Grandpa was in intense pain, the tylenol #3 was not doing the job. The nurse asked the
doctor for something stronger. It took almost two weeks to get the script filled. By this time,
papa's pain was not dire enough, in my opinion, to warrant being switched over to
hydromorphone. Therefore the nurse and I agreed that even though they are not needed now it
would be smart to keep them on hand in case the pain returns and we aren't able to get a script
 filled quickly by the doctor. Grandpa agreed that we would keep the meds on hand, but he
remained adamant that he did NOT want to take them.

8. Wednesday after Grandpa's Dr. appointment in Kingston he was given hydromorphone without
his informed consent.

9. Because of all of the alienation that was occurring and how I was being treated by Grandma I
figured it would be best to give them some space if everything was under control. When I went
into Grandmas after getting home on Wednesday night it seemed like Papa didn't want me there.
I did not understand that he was already suffering the effects of the hydromorphone. The
feelings that I felt because of this confirmed my decision to go home and sleep in my own bed. I
found a note left by Aunt Brenda or Uncle Ed that stated Grandpa was taken off of the Tylenol
#3 but I was not informed that he was given new medicine. I left not being aware of the
situation.

10. Grandpa allegedly had an adverse reaction to the hydromorphone in the night.

11. Grandma called Aunt Brenda to report that Grandpa was in distress.

12. When I woke up and went down to check on Grandpa I found Aunt Brenda and Uncle Ed
already at their house. All of a sudden they were being much kinder to me. I immediately felt
that something was a miss. Aunt Brenda informed me that Grandpa had started new meds and
that he had a reaction. She was hesitant to tell me what the 'new medicine' was but eventually
did. The situation was making me angry and Grandpa was being cared for so I simply left to
sort things out in my own mind and to avoid conflict.

13. Since then I've learned that there was indeed some sneaking around going on. The nurse can't
get Grandpa the meds he needs on time because the doctor is too busy but Aunt Brenda can
seemingly be in touch with her first thing in the morining without issue. I've also heard
speculation that the Dr. was historically aware that Grandpa did not tolerate this medicine in the
past. I think it's important to get to the bottom of all of this.

14. Did Grandpa react badly to hydromorphone in the past?

15. Was Grandpa given meds by the doctor that he shouldn't have received?

16. Why were the meds taken out of Grandpa's house or never brought there in the first place and
where are they now?

17. Why is there no written evidence that Grandpa received hyrdromorph like there is when we
record his tylenol usage and mouthwash rinses?

18. How and why was the doctor so easily reached?

19. Why does the doctor think that Aunt Brenda is caring for Grandma and Grandpa on her own
without help from the family? Why was the doctor unaware that they have a Granddaughter
who lives footsteps away who was giving him round the clock care?

20. There's too many questions in my mind. Aunt Brenda wanted control of the situation but with
 that responsibility comes accountability. We need more accountability.

21. I feel that Aunt Brenda knows she 'messed up' and therefore decided to switch gears. She asked
Grandma to have me phone her and when I did she all of a sudden wanted to be a family and to
work together. I've been played by aunt brenda's tears and 'kindness' before. I won't be fooled
this time. I prepared to respect her and to work forward on a plan for Grandpa but I do not
intend on allowing crocodile tears and the same old-same old to facilitate her to get away with
all that has gone on.

22. I believe that if roles were reversed I would be criminally charged for what happened recently
with the hydromorphone. I do believe that criminal charges are warranted in this situation. Due
diligence was not exercised and papa did not give his informed consent before suffering a
reaction. At the very least, I do not believe that Aunt Brenda or Uncle Ed should have control
over or access to medications that are not their own. If they would like to take specific training
in this regard I'm willing to reconsider my position.

23. The alienation in this family, that Aunt Brenda is directly responsible for needs to be addressed
if we want to quit pretending to be a family while caring for Grandma and/or Grandpa.
Truthfully, I've been so hurt and exploited by Aunt Brenda that I want absolutely nothing to do
with her or her family after Grandma and Grandpa pass away. I'm tolerating her for the sake of
them right now but won't do it for one second longer than I have to. I feel that I've been abused
by Aunt Brenda most of my life and I've watched her abuse my own children, siblings and
parents. Enough is enough. In the interim however, I will tolerate her has I always have when
necessary.

24. I feel that it's imperative to to what it takes to implement a plan of care for Grandpa
immediately or as soon as possible.

25. Papa is gets easily confused and/or upset. I strongly urge all family members to reduce the
stress and conflict that they potentially bring into his life.

26. I feel as though I've been made to look like a weirdo and a freaky witch doctor or health nut by
aunt brenda. I feel that I've been slandered in this regard. If we can't understand the basics
concepts of nature then we have problems. A person isn't a wing nut because they care enough
about their own health to research the benefits of nature. I'm insulted and deeply offended by
the ignorant opinions in the family in this regard. If I've been slandered in this regard, please
promptly remedy the situation the best you can.

27. Grandma continues to communicate to me that she wishes she did not have to endure daily
visits from a PSW and that she still wants the services to be provided after 11AM. Grandma has
been clear in this regard for weeks now. I support the notion. The nurse has asked for no service
before 11AM but still things are being arranged and wished not being honoured.

28. I will be writing a letter to the doctor and to CCAC. I am not about surprises and wish to be
upfront about my intentions.

29. I more or less demand at this point that we focus on Grandpa's life and not his death. In my
opinion this sort of negativity and negative talk is simply too depressing and is not good for
Grandpa's well-being. His death arrangements have been made. He doesn't want or need to talk
 about it anymore!

30. I can't even begin to describe how horribly alienated by Dad has been by Aunt Brenda and how
much damage this has cause in his relationship with his parents. I understand and appreciate my
dad's position in all of this and I support him all of the way. I do not think aunt Brenda should
call or visit Grandma and Grandpa when my dad is there because of the conflict she is capable
of generating. My dad deserves time and love from his parents and all three of them are
working on this. Please let it be. I have to advocate this issues because my dad fears blame,
conflict and/or exploitation from his sister, just as he has always received in the past, whenever
he attempts to interact with his family. Things have to change in this regard!

31. I feel that certain people, such as particular members of the Baptist Church and various service
providers as well as various extended family members have pre-conceived notions about me
and the care I provide for Grandma and Grandpa. It is so difficult to set out on the right foot
with someone when you know they are sitting in judgment of you, and false judgment at that.
Some of these people don't even speak to me or are obviously rude and catty. It's seriously some
crazy stuff. I've had enough of people pretending to be nice to me in front of Grandma and
Grandpa only to treat me like crap as soon as they aren't looking.

32. The PSW's and the nurses that are working with Grandpa and Grandma are great and deserve to
be commended. They are doing their best through of this dysfunction. Hopefully we can get the
plan of care going asap and make their job easier. The problems that I see with the services are
not the fault of the workers but that of the coordinators in my opinion.

33. I feel like we've taken so many steps backwards in the last while. Grandpa was making such
progress and now it's all reset and back to square one. This is very discouraging to me after all
of the efforts and money I invested.

34. I'm sorry my points are scattered and non easy to follow. I'm under stress and simply can't take
anymore of this unnecessary family drama. It's time to grow up. Seriously. Grandma and
Grandpa had two kids. Brenda and Donny. Donny does NOTHING to warrant the things said
about him and the treatment he receives from his sister and does not deserve the label she has
given him. My dad is a loving a loyal person and he deserves far better than what he gets from
his family. I think he does great considering all that he has endured from being falsely labeled
by his family. He continues to be there if wanted and needed but he is so done 'playing the
game' and has been for some time now. I don't blame him one bit. The alienation is so
disgustingly blatant.

35. Please communicate as you see fit.