Outline:

I. What is EQ?
A. How is it different from IQ?
B. Brief history of EQ
II. Components of EQ
III. Why is EQ important?

I. Emotional intelligence
EQ is the ability to recognize, manage and understand our own emotions and to recognize,
understand and influence the emotions of others. In other words, its being aware that emotions
can drive our behavior and impact people (positively and negatively), and learning how to manage
those emotions both our own and others especially when we are under pressure.
It is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is
generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and
apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions,
which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people.(
https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/emotional-intelligence)
EQ addresses the emotional, personal, social and survival dimensions of intelligence, which are
often more important for daily functioning than the more traditional cognitive aspects of
intelligence. It is concerned with understanding oneself and others, relating to people, and
adapting to and coping with the immediate surroundings to be more successful in dealing with
environmental demands.
It is a term created by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer and popularized by Dan
Goleman in his 1996 book of the same name.
EQ is tactical (immediate functioning); Cognitive intelligence is strategic (long-term capacity)
In a way, to measure EQ is to measure ones common sense and the ability to get along in the
world.
Why do some people have better psychological well-being than others? Why are some individuals
more able to succeed in life than others? The answer lies in EQ.
A. EQ and IQ
Both have been used as measures or determinants for success. They are not to be viewed as
opposites but as separate from each other.
IQ is the level of intelligence one possesses to understand, interpret, and implement ones
knowledge in varied situations. Mainly used to measure ones cognitive capabilities, such as the
capacity to learn or understand new situations or reasoning through a given predicament or
setting. Usually conveyed in a form of a score derived from one of several standardized tests
designed to assess intelligence. (http://www.diffen.com/difference/EQ_vs_IQ).
 B. Brief History of EQ
The concept of emotional intelligence has been credited to researchers, Peter Salavoy and
John Mayer who coined the term, emotional intelligence, in 1990. They have a different and
technical definition, describing it as a "a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to
monitor ones own and others feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use
this information to guide ones thinking and action."
EQ has been referred to earlier as personal intelligence, interpersonal and intrapersonal
intelligence in the Multiple Intelligences Theory developed by Dr. Howard Gardner, a
Professor of education at Harvard University. He published this theory in the 1983 book,
Frames of Mind. The theory suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, based on I.Q.
testing, is far too limited. Instead, he proposed eight different intelligences to account for a
broader range of human potential in children and adults.
The single most important contribution education can make to a childs development is to
help him toward a field where his talents best suit him where he will be satisfied and
competentWe should spend less time ranking children and more time helping them to
identify their natural competencies and gifts and cultivate those. There are hundreds of ways
to succeed and many different abilities that will help you get there. (Howard Gardner)

Their works have been used as the springboard for Daniel Golemans work and he further
developed this theory by stating that emotional intelligence has the following components::
self awareness, social awareness, self management and relationship management. He is an
author, psychologist and science journalist and has also published

IQ is not everything. The superior metric that can be used to measure life success is EQ and it is
made up of these five things:

1. (Emotional) Self-awareness knowing ones emotions as they happen;

It is not only that but to differentiate between them, to know what one is feeling and why,
and to know what caused the feelings. This EQ skill is also manifested by people who
purposefully seek feedback about their performance. They thrive on open, honest,
compassionate feedback. (INTRAPERSONAL)

(Tell the samurai story) The awakening of the samurai to his own agitated state illustrates
the difference between being caught up in a feeling and being aware that you are being
swept away by it.

Why is it important to be aware of our emotions? As you know, there are two kinds of
emotions conscious and unconscious. Emotions that simmer beneath the threshold of
awareness can have a powerful impact on how we perceive and react, even though we
have no idea they are at work.
 However, once the reaction is brought into awareness, he can evaluate things anew,
decide to shrug off the feelings left earlier in the day, and change his outlook and mood.
2. Managing emotions Ability to do what needs to be done, without influence from other
people or situations; Handling feelings so they are appropriate is an ability that builds on
self-awareness. A sense of self-mastery, of being able to withstand the emotional storms
that the buffeting of Fortune brings rather than being passions slave is praised as a virtue.
The goal is balance, not emotional suppression: every feeling has its value and
significance.
We may not realize it, but we are managing our emotions in much of what we do.
We watch TV, read a novel, etc. to make ourselves feel better.
- The art of soothing ourselves is a fundamental life skill. We have little or no control
over when we are swept by emotion nor over what emotion will it be. But we can
have a say on how long it will last.
- Anger, worry, sadness.
- How do you cheer yourself up? You can cry, distract yourself, exercise, etc. One
constructive way of lifting your mood is by engineering a small triumph or easy
success; Another is by seeing things differently or cognitive reframing; by helping
others; and by praying
3. Self-motivation marshalling emotions in the service of a goal is essential for paying
attention, for self-motivation and mastery and for creativity. Emotional self control
delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness underlies accomplishment of every sort.
Being able to get into the flow state enables outstanding performance of all kinds. People
who have this skill tend to be more highly productive and effective in whatever they
undertake.
- When emotions overwhelm concentration, what is being swamped is the mental
capacity cognitive scientists call working memory.
- Marshmallow test by Walter Mischell; Impulse control; his study underscores the
role of EI as a meta-ability, determining how well or how poorly other people can
use their other mental faculties.
- Anxiety: Students who are anxious, angry or depressed do not learn. These
negative emotions twist their attention to their own preoccupation, interfering with
the attempt to focus elsewhere.
- Anxiety sabotages academic performance. 126 different studies of more than
360,000 people found that the more prone to worries a person is, the poorer their
academic performance, no matter how measured grades on tests, grade-point
average, or achievement tests.
- Hope, optimism: having a strong expectation that things in general will turn out all
right in life. It is an attitude that buffers people against falling into apathy,
hopelessness or depression
- People who are optimistic see failure as due to something that can be changed so
that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for failure,
ascribing it to some lasting characteristic they are helpless to change.
- Hope, optimism can be learned and underlying both is self-efficacy or the belief
that one has mastery over the events of ones life and can meet challenges as they
come up. Developing a competency strengthens the sense of self-efficacy. This
makes a person more willing to take risks and seek out more demanding
 challenges. It makes people more likely to make the best use of whatever skills
they may have or to do what it takes to develop them.
4. Empathy Fundamental people skill; It builds on self-awareness, the more open we are
to our emotions, the more skilled we will be in reading feelings. People who are emphathic
are more attuned to the subtle social signals that indicate what others need or want. This
makes them better at callings such as the caring professions, teaching, sales and
management.
It means recognizing emotions in others; ability to be aware of, to understand and to
appreciate the feelings of others. It is tuning in to what, how and why people feel the way
they do. Being empathetic means being able to emotionally read other people. Care
about others and show interest in others. (INTERPERSONAL)

5. Handling relationships/Interpersonal relationships This skill involves the ability to

establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by intimacy
and affection. There must be mutual satisfaction which includes meaningful social
interchanges that are potentially rewarding and enjoyable. This is not only associated with
the desire to cultivate friendly relations with others, but with the ability to feel at ease and
comfortable in such relations and to possess positive expectations concerning social
intercourse. Requires sensitivity, desire to establish relations, and feeling satisfied.
How to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right
purpose, and in the right way. (Aristotle)

6. Assertiveness
7. Stress tolerance it is the ability to withstand adverse events and stressful situations
without falling apart by actively and positively coping with stress. It is the ability to weather
difficult situations without getting too overwhelmed. It is based on:
a. Capacity to choose courses of action for coping with stress
b. Optimistic disposition toward new experiences and change in general and towards
ones ability to successfully overcome the specific problem
c. A feeling that one can control or influence the stressful situation
This is associated with the capacity to be relaxed and composed and to calmly face
difficulties without getting carried away by strong emotions.
If this is adequate, anxiety often results with ill effect on general performance because
of poor concentration, difficulty in making decisions and somatic problems.
8. Impulse control ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive or temptation to act. It
involves self-control and the ability to handle our emotions. It entails a capacity for
accepting ones aggressive impulses, being composed and controlling aggression,
hostility and irresponsible behavior. You have a problem with this if you exhibit low
frustration tolerance, impulsiveness, anger control problems, abusiveness, loss of self-
control and explosive and unpredictable behavior. Also called self-regulation or delaying
gratification.
EQ and Criticism
We're often too frugal with praise and too willing with criticism. We need to increase our own
awareness of our emotions (are we truly satisfied?) and get better at recognizing others'
emotions. Nothing may be more critical in leadership.
When criticizing:
- be specific
- offer a solution
- be present
- be sensitive