8/29/2016 WhenInstagramCultureRuinsaVacationWSJ

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LIFE | TRAVEL | TRAVELER'STALE

WhenInstagramCultureRuinsa
Vacation
WriterDanCraneonthedownsideoffindinganidyllicbeachinMallorca:Theselfiestickequipped
hordeswerealreadythere

ILLUSTRATION:MICHAELBYERS

ByDANCRANE
Oct.13,20152:35p.m.ET

IWASLEANINGagainstacraggyrockononeofMallorcasmoreoutofthewaybeacheswhenI
noticedamanperchedatopalowcliffabovethecrystallinesea,slowlymovinghisoutstretchedhands
horizontallyfromlefttoright.

Ooh,thatssocool,Isaid,pointinghimouttomygirlfriend.Hemustbedoingtaichi.Herewasa
refreshingmeditativerespitefromthetouristswithselfiesticksandGoProvideocameraswhosurrounded
usonthisunfathomablybeautifulbeach.

Oh,wait.Nopenevermind,Icounteredamomentlater.Hestakingapanoramicphotoonhis
iPhone.

ItwasourlastdayonMallorcaandtheweatherwasflawlesswarmandcloudfree.Wedbeenonthe
islandforjustoveraweek,butthankstofrequentafternoonrainsandour(OK,my)uncannyabilitytoget
lost,eachofourmanyattemptstofindanidyllicbeachhadbeenthwarteduntilthen.

Byallaccounts,Mallorcahasnoshortageofbeautifulbeachesweshouldhavebeentrippingoverthem.
Instead,wedspentanabsurdamountoftimeontheInternetcheckingtheweatherandsearchingfora
quiet,isolated,whitesandcovelappedbyplacidbluewater:thekindoffantasybeachwedseeninso
manyInstagrampostsandwhoseSirensonghadluredustothisislandofftheeasterncoastofSpaininthe
firstplace.

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8/29/2016 WhenInstagramCultureRuinsaVacationWSJ

Nearthebeginningofourtrip,onararesunnyafternoon,wedhikedalongthecoastforovertwohours
tryingtofindabeachourAirbnbhosthadrecommended.Pouringwithsweat,wedutifullyfollowedarrows
onhandpaintedsignsthatleddownaprecarioustrailtosomeforbiddingrocksuponwhichafewpeople
weresunningthemselves.Buttherewasnosandandhardlyroomforustoliedown,soweturnedback.

Didthepeaceful,singularsweepofsandweimaginedevenexist?

Byoursecondtolastday,wehadstillnotfoundourfantasybeach.Itwasrainingyetagain,butatapon
myiPhoneweatherapprevealedthenextdaysforecast:74degreesandagoldensununobscuredby
clouds.

Wechangedourflights,extendedourtriptwonightsandmovedtoanotherAirbnbontheoppositeendof
theisland,nearCalodesMoro,abeachwedspottedonline.Itlookedlikeagiant,crystalblueswimming
poolframedbyanemptystretchoftalcumpowderandtwocliffsthatprotecteditfromtheopensea.

Inthemorning,wepackeda
picnicanddrovetowardCalodes
Digitallydrivennarcissismoutshonethepristinesetting. Moro.Whenwearrived,the
smallparkinglotwasfilled.
Howcanitbefullalready?I
askedmygirlfriend,theworry
apparentinmyvoice.Weparked
onthesideoftheroadandfollowedtheparadeoffellowbeachgoersthroughagatemarkedPrivate!(Im
usuallylawabidingbutIreasonedthatifallofthosepeoplewereallowedonthebeach,sowerewe.)After
ashorthike,Icouldmakeoutwhatlookedlikeourfantasybeachbeginningtomaterializeinthedistance.

Weallhikeddownthesteeptrailtowardthewaterlikeaprocessionofsomanypilgrims.Herewasthe
scenerymygirlfriendandIhadimagined,minustheserenity.Theplacewaspackedandcalledtomindthe
iconic,blackandwhite1942WeegeephotoofConeyIslandsbeachsocrowdedwithbodiesthatitlooks
almostpixilated.Theonlydifferencewasthat,75yearslater,everyoneisaWeegee.Amateur
photographerswerepassingiPhonesbackandforthlikehotpotatoesandwavingtheirselfiesticksinthe
airlikesabers.Oneguyhadastrange,lipstickshapedcameramountednexttohistempleonaheadband.
AndthentherewasthemanImistookforataichiguru

Wetriedtorelaxbutinsteadfoundourselvesquietlyderidingthepeoplemuggingallaroundus.Itwasnt
enoughforthemtosimplysnapaphotoandhaveaswim:TheentireexperiencehadtobestoredinHDand
uploadedsothatlikescouldbetalliedandfeelingsofvacationerschadenfreudefanned.Itslikeallthe
peopleIunfollowedonsocialmediainoneplace,mygirlfriendsaid.IfonlyIcouldunsubscribefrom
thesepeoplerightnow.Wehadtoadmit,though,thatwefoundthedigitallydrivennarcissismondisplay
morecompellingthanthesetting.

Thefuture,Imusedtoher,willbeallaboutfindingbetterwaystoshootphotosandvideosthatnobody
willeverwanttolookat.

Eventuallywedhadenoughofthecrowdandtheircameras.Weabandonedourspot,whichwas
immediatelysetuponbyanothercouple,andclimbedbackupthesteeptrailtowherewehadfirstspiedthe
beach.

Weshouldprobablytakeaselfie,Isaid.Otherwise,howwillanyoneeverknowwewerehere?We
bothlaughed.AndthenIframedtheshot,carefullycroppingoutthecrowd,andwesmiledintothephone.
Todate,thepicturehas39likesonInstagram.

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8/29/2016 WhenInstagramCultureRuinsaVacationWSJ

DanCraneistheauthorofToAirIsHuman:One
(https://www.facebook.com/ MansQuesttoBecometheWorldsGreatestAir
dancranehere 11 months(https://twitter.com/intent/tw
agoFollow (mailto:?subject=When (sms:? (fbmessenger://share?
sharer/sharer.php? eet?text=WhenInstagram Instagramcultureruinsa &body=http://www.wsj.com/
Guitarist,publishedbyRiverheadBooks. &message=When
u=http://www.wsj.com/articl cultureruinsavacation vacation articles/wheninstagram Instagramcultureruinsa
es/wheninstagram &url=http://www.wsj.com/ar &body=http%3A%2F%2Fw cultureruinsavacation vacation
cultureruinsavacation ticles/wheninstagram ww.wsj.com%2Farticle_em 1444761342) &share_link_url=http://ww
1444761342) cultureruinsavacation ail%2Fwheninstagram w.wsj.com/articles/when
1444761342&via=WSJ) cultureruinsavacation instagramcultureruinsa
1444761342 vacation1444761342)
lMyQjAxMTE2MzIxOTIyOT
k4Wj)

Obligatory beach selfie

114 likes 28 comments

DanCrane

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KEYWORDS
WhyElectricCarsWillBeHereSooner
ThanYouThink

NYCULTURE
ConeyIslandAmphitheaterDebuts

NYPOLITICS
MicahLasher:PoliticalExpertTurned
FirstTimeCandidate

EXPERIENTIAL
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PlayforDonaldTrump
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