Readers Digest 2011-02 PDF

THE BEST IDEAS & TIPS FROM 350+ SOURCES
Allw!
Ne
EAT THIS,
LOSE WEIGHT
The New Science of Dieting
Page 110
Job
Search
Gaes
You Said
What?! How to
Page 69 Succeed
at Life
Kitchen FROM Harvard
Business Review
Time-Savers Page 176
FROM Mark
Bittman Page 43
WINTER
HEALTH WOES
February
Fast Fixes
2011 FROM WebMD
$3.99 Page 47
LIFE WELL SHARED FEBRUARY 2011
F E A T U R E S
110 Is This Any Way to Lose Weight? I N T E R V I E W B Y L I S A D AV I S
Why conventional diets dont workand how fat can help you drop pounds.
120 Miracle Boy KENNETH MILLER WITH REPORTING BY ALLISON SHELLEY
Pulled from the rubble of Haitis earthquake, eight-year-old Kiki Joachin and
his family struggle to rebuild their home, their livesand their hopes.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAMARA REYNOLDS; (COVER) PHOTOGRAPHED BY ERIK RANK,
129 The 2010 Blame & Shame Awards S A C H A Z . S C O B L I C

Cold-blooded bureaucrats and lazy civil servants: Here are our winners
for the most outrageous acts of the past year.
146 The Roundup: When Can You Retire? C H R I S R AY M O N D
News from all over suggests your golden years may be delayed.
FOOD STYLING BY MARGARETTE ADAMS/MARNIE ROSE AGENCY
Katie Spotz
152 Look Twice See the world dierently. rowed across
the Atlantic
156 Worried Sick M A R K L E Y N E R & B I L LY G O L D B E R G , M D alone.
Our resident doctor has the cure for your hypochondria.
164 The Freedoms That Make Us Great
In the rst of our four-part series, the woman at the center
of the Ground Zero mosque controversy talks about religious
freedomhers and ours. A S T O L D T O K AT H E R I N E L A N P H E R
172 Quick Study: Crime Scene Science
LISA GOFF
Its the sexiest stu on TV, but do ngerprints and bullet
matching actually convict criminals in the real world?
176 The Bottom Line on Happiness
C L AY T O N M . C H R I S T E N S E N
How to use business skills to succeed at life
recommended by the Harvard Business Reviews editor.
136 The Best

Day of My Life
A S TOLD TO LISA GOFF
Six people share their highs, their
lows, and their turning points.
3
T H E D I G E S T
19 Travel The experts o-season deals
27 Family Keep your marriage happy,
plus a secret handclasp for couples
41 Food The worlds most popular Valentines
Day dishes; how to cure garlic breath
47 Health Fast xes for winter woes;
the dirty truth about hand-washing
64 Home A bedbug battle plan; 13 things
your letter carrier wont tell you
69 Work How to nail a job interview;
PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAMARA REYNOLDS; (BOTTOM) ILLUSTRATED BY SARAH WILKINS

86 survive an elevator drop
Claire Wols 81 Misc Three reasons to be happier;
local caf helps catching up with CNNs Candy Crowley
her neighbors.
D E P A R T M E N T S
6 Letter from the Editor
27 11 React Your letters
How to make
a marriage 86 The Power of One Hometown
last. heroes from across the country
94 Laugh! Our favorite jokes
100 Around the World with
One Question
Who do you tell your secrets to?
102 Ask Laskas Commonsense advice
JEA NNE MA RIE LA SK A S
104 @Work Oce laughs

135 Poetry Acts of Love PAM R E H M
183 Word Power Test yourself
188 Life Your funny true stories
192 Last Laugh
Get tips
to make life
easier at
4 readersdigest.com.
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LETTERS ON THE NOVEMBER ISSUE
React
Pilots Sound O
As a pilot for a major airline, I
found most of 50 Secrets Your
Pilot Wont Tell You to be ac-
curate. The exception was the
comment about regional air-
lines not being held to the same
safety and training standards
as the majors. This is grossly
inaccurate. Both operate under
the FAA Part 121 ight rules.
Working for an international
Pilots are not simply gloried bus drivers;
major carrier, I make ve or six
landings a month on long-haul theyre highly skilled professionals in a
ights. Regional pilots make at very regulated industry. Nobody else in
least that many landings in two the transportation business is subject to
days. Those who y the majors biennial evaluations of their skills and
may have a bit more ight time abilities as well as their medical condition.
and life experience, but regional
Ro llan d G . Fitch II, Summerville, South Carolina
pilots are nely tuned and
very sharp. L. T . , Seattle, Washington
Every month Readers Digest duti-
I retired from the Air Force with fully tells me things that my orist,
20 years of ying experience and pilot, doctor, nurse, ight attendant,
then spent the next 16 years ying mechanic, and waiter either wont
with a regional airline. The training tell me or are afraid to tell me. And
I received at the regional was the every month I feel worse about it.
best and most comprehensive I ever What Ive learned from these arti-
had. R obe r t L. Z o be l , Jr . , Navarre, Florida cles is that service industry person-
nel detest me, wish Id go away, and
Correction: In 50 Secrets Your Pilot make fun of me behind my back. My
Wont Tell You, Patrick Smith was doctor might accidentally kill me,
incorrectly quoted as saying, Cabin my pilot is asleep at the controls,
air is recirculated because it helps the ight attendants are staring at
reduce humidity. Cabin air is recir- me in ways I wish they wouldnt,
culated, but not to reduce humidity. and my waiter spits in my food. I
readersdigest.com 2/11 11
now know these folks generally
HOW DO YOU SHOW LOVE think Im a complaining, demanding,
TO YOUR SPOUSE? ... THE unsophisticated boor. Thanks for
READERS DIGEST VERSION adding to my inferiority complex.
We asked our Facebook followers P. B., Salt Lake City, Utah
how they say I love you with more
than just words. Fake Heroes
>> Chocolate chip cookies and a I am a veteran of the Vietnam era,
pat on the tush. Its lasted 40 years but I would never allow anyone to
so far! M . B . , Rocky Mount, North Carolina think I served in Vietnambecause
>> Accept everything about him, I did not. How can someone who
even if some things drive me crazy. lied about military service (Outra-
J . H. , Lincoln, Nebraska geous! Tin Soldiers) look in the
>> Be a good listener and appreciate mirror day after day without feeling
her cooking. N. K., United Arab Emirates guilty? And if lying is considered
freedom of speech under the First
>> Praise him as a good husband Amendment, what absurdity will
and father (plus special trips to
the Constitution protect next?
the bedroom, bathroom, or closet
Chris tin e Hummel , St. Ann, Missouri
when he least expects it).
D. C . , Clayton, North Carolina
Is nothing sacred? Men and women
>> I let him have the last serving of offer their lives to defend our
ice cream.
freedoms, and now politicians and
C. H., Howey-in-the-Hills, Florida
others are stealing their sacrice
>> Grab her gently, and let the kiss- and wrapping themselves in it. My
ing do the talking. S . P. , Nilai, Malaysia
father served 33 years, and he is bur-
>> Love notes, massages, and letting ied in Arlington National Cemetery.
him think hes in charge! He earned every inch of that site,
T . P . , Jacksonville, Texas and I would hate to think that some
>> I make sure the coee is made politician who fudged his service
every morning before he gets up. record might be buried next to him.
C . S . , Galatia, Illinois P. S. Pierc e, Evansville, Indiana
>> Look straight into his eyes!

C . A . , Orlu, Nigeria General Excellence?
I enjoyed General Sheltons article
>> Send her owers when she least (Walking Proud), but I wonder
expects it. L. V . , Chennai, India
why this full-out effort of care is
>> I make him food from scratch, not given to all our servicemen and
with lots of love thrown in. servicewomen. The generals acci-
C . L. , Orange, California
dent was not even service-related
(although his injury was compli-
cated by it). Too many of our mili- Id better raise my HDL before can-
tary receive just the basics and have cer strikes, change my diet to pre-
to ght for that. Im sure theyd like vent diabetes, sleep longer, get more
a stay in the presidents private hos- vitamin D, and take the headphones
pital room too! off my kids before they go deaf. I
Ba r ba r a G i e r , Prospect Heights, Illinois kept looking for some reliefuntil I
read Act Fast! 7 Ailments That Cant
Its Not Just Her Wait. Id better get to the doctor
Why have Americans become a now! Br ian Strul l , Lake Oswego, Oregon
population of worrywarts? (Is It
Just Me? The Petried Woman!) Just Say No, Darlin!
Let the kids get dirty. Nature will Jeanne Marie Laskas is usually right
balance everything out. on with her answers, but the one to
S h e i l a R . H e n d r y , Waynesboro, Mississippi Miffed about business e-mails that
begin with Hey, Darlin! falls
Please, please, please make Lenore short. This is sexual harassment and
Skenazy a regular. Her spin on ridic- should not be tolerated. Miffed
ulous fears made me realize that I no should ask the sender, by e-mail, to
longer need to be afraid of develop- please stop the practice and address
ing back spasms by laughing myself him or her by name. The next time
to tears. S a l l y R i l e y , Irvine, California the offense happens, Miffed should
forward both e-mails to the human
My fear that danger lurks around resources department and request
every corner melted away as I read that the offender be reprimanded.
The Petried Woman! That is, until This is very poor business behavior.
I turned to the Health section to learn Carol Youngs, Evansville, Indiana
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The
Simply put
Travel
page 20
Family
page 27
Food
page 41
Health
page 47
Home
page 64
CANYONLANDS NATIONAL PARK Work

Consider zigging when everybody else is zagginga basic page 69
ALAN MAJCHROWICZ
principle of o-season travel (see next page). Utahs Canyon-

lands National Park, for instance, may be daunting to some in
winter, but not to savings.com CEO Loren Bendele: In the
daytime its 40 to 50 degrees, and at night it gets really cold. Misc
But we dressed appropriately and brought the right gear. page 81
It was absolutely amazing and seriously humbling.
Travel
Bring On the
Off-Season
Three travel experts reveal how
the wrong time can be the right
time for the perfect vacation
Lake Tahoe
BY LAUREN J. GNIAZDOWSKI
(TAHOE) LYNN FAGERLIE/GETTY IMAGES

THE EXPERTS same water, same climate, and for
Loren Bendele, CEO, savings.com a lot less money. When you start
Seth Kugel, Frugal Traveler researching Nicaragua, youll nd
blogger, New York Times Dont go during the rainy season,
Nina Willdorf, editor in chief, because it might rain the whole time
Budget Travel youre there. But the locals all say
its their favorite time of year be-
WHERE LOREN BENDELE GOES cause everything is green and lush,
Nicaragua during the rainy season fresh and clear. During the dry sea-
(May through November). You get son, its hot, its dry; theres dust and
the same beaches as in Costa Rica dirt everywhere. Do the research
Principles of Off-Season Travel

O-season doesnt Kugel: Huge tourist desti- for 25 or 50 percent of
mean the wrong season, nations are the best bet what they normally get,
but it does mean deals for sharp discounts in the that money is just straight
and discounts. o-season because these to their prot. Airlines just
Bendele: It doesnt mean economies are completely wont y as many trips.
youre going when no one dependent on tourist Kugel: By far the nicest
wants to go or that you income as opposed to hotels Ive stayed in for
wont be able to experi- business-travel income. very small amounts of
ence the best of that area. Youll save more on money have been major
Some of my favorite travel hotels than airfare. chain hotels, like Marriott,
experiences have been Bendele: If hotels can ll which I get on priceline
during the o-season. an otherwise empty room .com. The best deals in
Cayman Islands
London
dont stop at the rst hurdle. experienced such silence in your life.
(LONDON) JOHN LAMB/GETTY IMAGES
Tuscany in winter. It was a little Its ominous and weird not to hear
colder, but we owned it. No crowds, wind or trafc. How would that
no trafc, a lot less expensive. have felt if I were hearing footsteps
(CAYMAN ISLANDS) CORBIS;
Canyonlands National Park in behind me, if I were seeing people

winter. A good friend said they off in the distance?
were going in December, the coldest Vail, Colorado, in summer. Every-
time of the year, because they would one says that people move there
be the only people there. And thats for the ski seasons and never leave
what we did. We were the only ones because of the summers. In the
there for ve days. Youve never winter its all about skiing and >>
these places are during through the hotels own rate as online, and some-
the o-season. social-media marketing times they wont. You can
Do your homework. eorts or through a go back and book the one
Bendele: Get on a site discount club like jetsetter you found online.
like tripadvisor.com, talk .com. Then I call the hotel Know when schools out.
to friends, and nd other and try to book it directly, Kugel: Not that children
communities. Go to the lo- and I say, I found this deal arent delightful, but Ive
cal chamber of commerce online, but Id rather book it been in places where
or local travel bureaus through you. You can talk there are huge groups of
website, and get on the about what type of room schoolkids running around
phone with people who you want, and theyll have making it a much less
work there. all your information when pleasant experience
Willdorf: Ill nd a specic you get there. Sometimes than it would otherwise
deal online or something theyll oer you the same have been. >>
21
Travel
snowboarding. In the summer its all
about hiking, rafting, rock climbing,
great live music concerts, just hang-
ing out, camping, swimming, shing,
y-shing. As far as value, ski towns
in the summertime are phenomenal.
South/Southwest in winter. I New Orleans
love the South during February
and March: Austin, New Orleans, London over Paris in winter. In
Phoenix, Las Vegas. You just have the summer, youll be sharing the
to make sure theres nothing so big streets with more tourists than Pari-
going on that will make it either sians. You want to go to Paris when
too expensive or too crowded. theres green on the trees and ow-
ers in the parks. London may not be
WHERE SETH KUGEL GOES as much the caseits maybe more
Barbados. Bigger islands have of an indoor cultural city.
ALVARO LEIVA/PHOTOLIBRARY
the better deals, and smaller islands
have more luxury. Barbados struck WHERE NINA WILLDORF GOES
me as a very nice compromise, right Cayman Islands in summer. I had
in the middle. Its a very manageable to go down to the Cayman Islands
island. You have your beach areas for one night this summer. It was 85
and then vast expanses if you want degrees, slight breeze, just perfect.
to get away and go hiking. The is- We had the pool to ourselves. There
land also offers a great bus system. was always a stool at the beach bar.
Remember business knows somebody whos if I stayed a few extra days?

travelers. in that area or was in that She said, Well, I can oer
Kugel: Cities and major area or is from that area. you the rate for Caribbean
business centers are not Put up a Facebook post citizens. Caricom is the
as attractive for people that says, Ive been think- term for the Caribbean
looking for o-season ing of going to Seattle. community, and theres a
deals, because theres no Is there anyone from rate for native Caribbeans.
o-season for business Seattle or who knows It was really easy for her,
travelers. Its hard to imag- someone there? and it would never have
ine a season in New York Negotiate. come up online. Only by
City thats the o-season. Kugel: I called a place in my calling the hotel did
Use social networks. Barbados. It was the o- she think of saying, Oh, we
Bendele: Everybody season, and I said, Is that can slip you in under this
knows somebody who your cheapest room? What Caricom rate. n
The people working there were ea- Punta Cana anytime. The average
ger to help because they had time. high in January is 81. In August, its
Europe in winter. I would con- 87. Not a big temperature differ-
sider Old World cities like Paris, ence, but youll see a huge savings.
Amsterdam, and Berlin. Hotel prices Cool small towns in America.
are much lower, and most activities Youre going to meet the locals and
would be indoors anyway. discover a relaxing way to experi-
Lake Tahoe in summer. Ive spent ence the best of America.
time in the Tahoe area in California
in summer, which is just gorgeous. WHERE TO START
Ski resorts have a lot of deals to Bendeles resources: savings.com,
attract travelers in the off-season. tripadvisor.com, Lonely Planet and
ABC islands in summer (or even Fodors guidebooks, Facebook
hurricane season). I would suggest What savings.com can oer:
the ABC islandsAruba, Bonaire, Weve got our Ask, Answer & Save
and Curaaobecause they arent feature. You can log on there in the
on the typical hurricane route. travel section and write, Whats >>
Travel
TIME-SAVER
the best time of year to go to the
Grand Canyon? Youll get an an- 6 Sites for
swer from one of our travel experts,
and you can start a dialogue. Simpler Travel
Kugels resources: Frugal Traveler Amanda Schupak of Popular
blog on nytimes.com, his Twitter Science chooses a travelers best
feed (@frugaltraveler), hotwire.com, tech helpers:
1) Viator.com: A list of packages
Frommers on nytimes.com, intimate
in 450 destinationsjust type in an
hotelsbarbados.com
activity youre interested in
What the Frugal Traveler blog
2) Budgetyourtrip.com:
can oer: I try to show Reports from travelers on
readers how to save money, what they spent in more
but its also about getting than 80 countries so
away from hotels and you can anticipate
restaurants that cater to your own expenses
tourists and getting into 3) Electricaloutlet
the real spirit of the .org: Electrical specs
places I visit. from American Samoa
Willdorfs resources:
to Zambia, with pictures
of plugs and sockets to
budgettravel.com, orbitz.com,
help you t in, literally
expedia.com, kayak.com, travelocity 4) Translate.google.com: Your
.com, jetsetter.com, luxurylink.com, personal Web linguist
familygetaways.com, cruisecritic.com 5) Foodbycountry.com: The culi-
What budgettravel.com can oer: nary habits in 70 dierent countries
We have deals, many of them 6) Globalgourmet.com/
exclusive, with discounts when destinations: The dishes youre
you use our name. We scour the likely to see on the menua sort of
world for the best deals. Many are taste-bud tutorial
off-season.
NOTABLE QUOTE
When regular folks travel abroad,

they represent both themselves and
STEVE LUPTON/CORBIS
the collective American identity.

Must we continue to be perceived as the
most poorly dressed of all tourists?
Robin Givhan, fashion critic and style writer, Washington Post
Family
How to
Keep
Your
Marriage
Happy
BY TA R A PA R K E R - P O P E
adapted from For Better:
The Science of a Good
Marriage (Dutton)
C an you spot a
good marriage?
I was pretty sure
I could, starting with
my own. My husband
couples, and others to
watch videotaped con-
versations of ten cou-
ples and try to identify
the relationships that
the wife tells this story:
We got terribly lost
that day. It took us
hours to nd our way
back, but we laughed
and I rarely argued, we had broken up. Even about how neither of
had similar careers, and the therapists guessed us had a good sense
we shared common in- wrong half the time. of direction. After that,
terests. So nobody was Luckily, scientists we knew not to plan
more surprised than we have identied some another hiking trip!
ILLUSTRATED BY SARAH WILKINS
were when our 17-year simple but powerful Another wife might tell
marriage ended in indicators that can help it a different way: He
divorce. It turns out I you recognize marital lost the map, and it took
had been judging my strife long before your hours to nd our way
marriage by the wrong relationship hits the back. After that, I never
standardsas most of skids. For instance, a wanted to go hiking
us do. In one famous couple go hiking on again. The keeper
study, researchers asked their rst date. They marriage? The one in
therapists, married marry, and years later, which the positive >>
Family
is accentuated and the ship by the amount of who argued relatively
problems laughed off. time you argue, espe- little were happier than
Research shows that cially early on. When I combative ones. When
its not what you say but was rst married, I felt the same couples were
how you say it: Your lucky that my husband checked three years
emphasis will correctly and I rarely fought. A later, however, those
predict the success or
failure of your marriage Eye rolling, even when
about 90 percent of the accompanied by a smile,
time. To size up your re-
lationship, ask yourself
indicates contempt.
these questions. Do you: University of Washing- with an early history
ton study of newlywed of bickering were more
AVOID ARGUMENTS? couples appeared to likely to have found
Studies show its a mis- conrm my belief: It stability in their
take to judge a relation- showed that couples marriages, whereas
couples who prided
themselves on their
I Dos and Donts equanimity were in
troubled relationships
For a closer connection, says Parker-Pope: or already divorced.
w TOAST SUCCESS Good news can be as Of course, violence or
challenging as problems, say researchers. How do verbal abuse is never
you react to your partners success: acceptable, but the
a smile and a pat? Try champagne garden-variety marital
and chocolates. spat? Its actually
w TALK ABOUT SEX A recent good for you!
study showed that many couples
want each other to be more direct ROLL YOUR EYES?
in the bedroom but are too shy to ask. This seemingly harm-
Go ahead: Both of you write down ve things less gesture is a clear
youd like your spouse to say or do during sex. Then sign of marital discord.
compare your answers. The same researchers
w FIGHT RIGHT Sometimes the dierence between at the University of
a good ght and a bad one is in how it starts. Think of Washington found that
it this way: Gripes (I wish we had sex more often) eye rolling, even when
are more welcome than snipes (You never want accompanied by a
CORBIS
to have sex). Feel free to use that one. laugh or smile, indi-
cates some degree >>
Family
of contemptpoison to a rela-
tionship. This kind of sarcastic
gesture doesnt clearly state an
objection, which makes it difcult
for the other person to respond,
says Janice Kiecolt-Glaser at the
Ohio State University College
of Medicine. The obvious rst
step is to stop the behavior. But
the second is to explore the
reasons behind it.
DUCK DECISIONS?
I often deferred to my husband
when it came to making weekend
or vacation plans. Later I realized
our social life didnt reect my
favorite activitiesa relationship
red ag. Psychologist Howard
Markman, a professor at the
University of Denver, agrees. Its
risky for your relationship when
one of you controls the social
agenda, he says.
NOTABLE QUOTE
In 19th-century
Japan and
China, talks too
much was one of
seven reasons for
which a man could
divorce his wife.
Source: The Art of Marriage: A Guide to Living Life
as Two by Catherine Blyth
Family
LIFE LESSON I used to think: Women are more
collaborative and less comman-
Real Women deering than men.
Now I get it: The male coaches
Read Maps I work with are sometimes more team-
oriented than the women on the job.
Psychologist Marcia Reynolds
writes about gender issues, I used to think: Women multitask,
and shes recently changed and men focus.
her mind about a lot of things. Now I get it: We all multitask,
Her piece Stop Praising the and women often home in on a
Dierences in Men and Women subject with intensity.
is adapted from the Hungton Post. So now I suggest we:
CASPAR BENSON/CORBIS
I used to think: Women w Stop generalizing about which

change the subject more gender does something better.
frequently than men do, circling w Start acknowledging its about
back to the original point after individuals, not type.
a while. w Quit praising our dierences, and
Now I get it: My companion does this far honor how the best of us, men and
more than I do. women, are more powerful together.
Family
IN THEIR WORDS
Comedy Couple
In the 57 years theyve been together, comedy
team Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara have learned
that a quick comeback can fuel a happy marriage.
STILLER: I dont know if we knew [our marriage]
could last. But if you run into roadblocks, you can
either abandon ship or see if you get through it. If
you do, you have a little more wisdom. STRATEGY
MEARA: You come o so sensitive. If you had
talked like that when we were rst married, we
HOLD TIGHT
wouldnt have had any ghts. BY JANCEE DUNN
STILLER: Remember the from Real Simple
time you left me? Call this the Readers Digest
MEARA: I cant Version of all the marriage
remember all the advice in this section:
times Ive left you. My folks have been
STILLER: Anne married for 47 years. One
says, Im getting of my fathers rules for a
out of here. Ive had happy marriage is that if a
enough. nasty argument threatens
to erupt, hold hands while
MEARA: I packed a
you hash it out. Youll feel
suitcase and went to my
friend Dollys place. incredibly goofy doing this
(and your hand may sweat
STILLER: No, I took you on the subway. a little), but heres the
MEARA: All right, you took me. thing: It works.
STILLER: I just wanted to make sure nothing Recently my messy hus-
happened to you. You were still my comedy band, Tom, forgot to pay a
partner. Anyway, we got to the building, and I said, stash of bills that was bur-
Let me go upstairs with you. ied under a pile of clutter.
MEARA: He clung to me like an infectious disease. I was in a rage. But when I
held his hand as we worked
STILLER: Dolly says, What are you doing here at
two in the morning? I said, Shes breaking up it out, my blood pressure
with me, and I just wanted to bring her over. Well, immediately dropped. Its
(HANDS) CORBIS
by ve in the morning, we were together again. impossible to scream at

someone who is sitting
IPAD EXTRA To watch laugh-0ut-loud video of this
duo, download the Readers Digest magazine app right next to you, meeting
from the iTunes store. your gaze, and holding
your hand. It just is.
Food
The International
Foods of Love
W hats for dinner on Valentines Day?
Last year, in the week before the big
day, these were the most popular dishes
on allrecipes.com sites around the world. The
dessert recipe was the favorite in the United States:
UNITED KINGDOM UNITED STATES

Dinner: Seared Duck Breasts CHOCOLATE-
with Honey, Soy, and Ginger COVERED
Dessert: Valentine Cookies STRAWBERRIES
FRANCE Makes about 20
Dinner: Duck lOrange
16 oz. milk chocolate chips
Super Facile (supereasy)
2 tbs. shortening
Dessert: Chocolate Heart Cake
1 lb. fresh strawberries
GERMANY with leaves
Dinner: Steak with a Red Wine 1. Insert toothpicks into tops
and Balsamic Sauce of strawberries.
Dessert: Frosted Heart Cookies
2. In double boiler, melt
BRAZIL chocolate and shortening,
Dinner: Brie Fondue stirring occasionally until
Dessert: Trues smooth. Holding strawberries
MEXICO by toothpicks, dip each one
Dinner: Clams with Chorizo into chocolate mixture.
Dessert: Eggless Chocolate 3. Turn strawberries upside
DAVID SELMAN/CORBIS
Mousse down and insert toothpick into

AUSTRALIA AND styrofoam and let chocolate
NEW ZEALAND cool.
Dinner: Garlic Chicken CHOCOLATE
The universal
in Pu Pastry confection
Dessert: Crme Brle of love.
Food
JUST IN CASE
HOW TO
Garlic
Eat Sushi BY BETH DREHER Breath:
To up your sushi satisfaction, What
follow these tips from Masaharu
Morimoto, one of Food
Works
Networks Iron Chefs and the Forget about parsley.
owner of restaurants in New No need to chew
York, Philadelphia, and Mumbai: fennel seeds. Science
suggests that the most
Dip the right end. When eating eective way to neu-
nigiri sushi (a slice of seafood draped tralize the odiferous
over a small mound of rice), lightly dip the shnot the sulfur compounds in
riceinto soy sauce to best enjoy the avor. a food like garlic is to
Eat in order. Eat from light to dark. To appreciate use a mouthwash with
the avors of each type of sh, start with mild, light- chlorine dioxide or
colored varieties before progressing to fattier, zinc, like Toms of
bolder-tasting dark sh. Maine and ProFresh.
(For simple halitosis,
Use wasabi wisely. If the chef hasnt look for chlorhexidine
already added wasabi to your sushi, and cetylpyridinium
smear it directly onto the sh or roll. chloride in your
Dont dilute wasabis kick by mixing mouthwash.) For
it into your soy sauce. more science applied
(SUSHI) MARTIN DIEBEL/CORBIS; (MORIMOTO) HOPPER STONE

Cleanse your palate. to everyday life
Dont put pickled ginger including the
on your sushi. Instead, mathematical
eat it between bites formula for
to prepare your guring
taste buds for out if you
whats next. can get
Forgo chop- a sofa
sticks. Sushi origi- around
nated as a street food, a corner
and its still acceptable read Better
to eat it with your ngers Living Through
if you prefer. Science: The Basic
Scientic Principles You
Dont nibble. Sushi chefs care- Need to Solve Every
fully choose the proportions Household Conundrum
of sh, rice, and wasabi in each No wasabi in your soy
sauce, says Iron Chef (Rodale, $15.99).
pieceeat it in one bite. Masaharu Morimoto.
42
SHORTCUTS
Kitchen Tips from All Over

1 No need to make a ne mince of
onions, garlic, or herbs, Food Matters
author Mark Bittman tells lifehacker
Illustrated. When all the slices have
started to brown, take the pan out and
carefully snap a photo. If you post the
.com. I think mincing came into vogue photo near the oven, youll know how
when French cooking became popular. to turn the pan for even cooking.
It doesnt matter. Chopping is just ne.
2 Map your oven to see where the

hot spots are (most likely the center
3 Dont throw away that mustard jar.
Instead of scraping out the last bit,
a Cooks Country reader suggests, add
and back of the oven): Heat the broiler oil, vinegar, and spices. Shake the jar and
and line a cookie sheet with a layer of you have vinaigrette for your salad
PHOTOGRAPHED BY FRANCESCO TONELLI
white bread slices, suggests Cooks and no wasted mustard.
NOTABLE QUOTE
Who invented the rule that you get a free

dessert in a restaurant on your birthday?
You dont get a free pair of gloves or socks from
Old Navy when you buy an outt on your birthday.
Ron Eyester, chef-owner of Atlantas Rosebud Restaurant,
on cnn.coms Eatocracy blog
Food
SEVEN SUPERIOR
SIPS OF WINE
($12 AND LESS A BOTTLE)
The envelope, please. The Wine
Trials 2011 is out (Fearless Critic Media,
$14.95), and the annual brown-bag blind
tastings have yielded a list of the best
wallet-friendly wines in every category:
SPARKLING J.P. Chenet Blanc de Blancs
Brut (France, $12)
LIGHT WHITE Bogle Sauvignon Blanc
(California, $9)
HEAVY WHITE Yalumba Unwooded
Chardonnay (Australia, $10)
ROS Ll Ros (Turkey, $10)
LIGHT RED Monte Antico (Italy, $12)
HEAVY RED Doa Paula Los Cardos
Malbec (Argentina, $12)
SWEET/AROMATIC Dr. L Riesling
(Germany, $12)
THE TREND
Refill er
Up
Within a year,
Americans could
be taking rellable
wine bottles back
to the store and
topping them o
with Chardonnay.
In France, where Idahos Pend dOreille
Winery gives rellers
table wine and a 50 percent discount.
HALEY SORBEL
gasoline are
roughly the same price per gallon, a wine
bottle is relled an average of eight times.
Source: treehugger.com
Health
Fast
Fixes
for
Winter
Woes
If your lips are cine (IOM) reminds us milk and many cereals
from
chapped, your not to go overboard are fortied). A supple-
WebMD mood grim, and with any supplement ment can be a good
your skin itchy, even vitamin D, which insurance policy, if
it must be mid- has gotten such good you dont overdo it.
winter. Your drugstore press. But some experts The IOM recommends
would like to sell you continue to think that 600 IU a day (or 800 IU
something to remedy many of us dont get if youre older than 70),
those complaints, but enough of this vitamin, and you can safely take
sometimes the best which helps keep bones that much in a pill. >>
x can be found in strong and may even
6
GO FIGURE
your own cupboard. cut your risk of cancer.
WebMDs chief medi- Sun exposure raises
cal editor, Michael your levels, but that
Smith, MD, weighs in has obvious risks and
on what works and in winter may not be
whats a waste: adequate anyway. And
MILES
Amount of weekly
DO I REALLY NEED it can be tricky to get walking that may help
to take vitamin D in vitamin D through food prevent brain shrink-
the winter? (though wild salmon age, and possibly
CORBIS
A recent report from and mushrooms are dementia, as you age.

the Institute of Medi- good sources, and Source: University of Pittsburgh study
Health
prescription eye- eyedrop Restasis a pricey moisturizer
drops for my gritty, is effective, though it for my painfully dry skin?
scratchy eyes? can be expensive. Many people get the
If your eyes feel dry a light box for my same relief from a cheap
all the time, see your low energy? brand. Look for one of
eye doctor to deter- If your low energy is these ingredients, which
mine the cause. The from something called pull water into the skin
culprit may be a medi- seasonal affective dis- or keep it there: cer-
cation youre taking order (SAD), a light box amides, hyaluronic acid,
(an antihistamine, for can help. SAD resembles dimethicone, lanolin,
instance) or an undiag- depression, but its mineral oil, petrolatum
nosed medical condi- caused by the winter jelly, and glycerine. Use
tion. For most people, decrease in sunlight. a moisturizer, humidi-
over-the-counter arti- Before you spend the er, and milder soap for
cial tears do the trick, money, though, make a couple of weeks. If
and you can use them your home sunnier, youre still bothered,
as often as you like take daily walks outside, see a dermatologist.
theyre just lubricant and exercise regularly
saline. If those dont
help, the prescription
these changes might
be enough.
search
For more, go to
WebMD.com and
for winter tips.
KITCHEN CABINET CURES
Three Spices Your Body Wants Now

(CUMIN) JEFFREY COOLIDGE/GETTY IMAGES; CORBIS (2)
TURMERIC CUMIN
Its yellow tint makes Ground or whole, this
your food look entic- seed is rich in vitamins
ing, but turmerics A and C and is thought
biggest selling point to help ght o sinus
is that it contains infections and colds,
curcumin, which says Aggarwal, author
may ease headaches, act as a deconges- of the new book Healing Spices.
tant, help reduce allergy symptoms, PEPPERMINT
and ward o colds. It seems to be Its a powerful anti-inammatory,
as eective as some drugs for Aggarwal says, and may soothe
certain conditions, said Bharat a sore throat and reduce coughs
Aggarwal, PhD, professor of and congestion. Use it for tea, or
experimental therapeutics at MD mix it into yogurt and chutney.
Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Beth Dreh er
Health
GROSS NEGLIGENCE
Who Washes
and Who Doesnt
from good.is
A COLLABORATION BETWEEN GOOD AND ALBERTSON DESIGN

Heres a dirty little secret that probably accounts for a fair number of the colds you
getand other nasty ailments too. People say they wash their hands all the time,
but researchers who actually watched sinks in public restrooms around the country
found that they remained unused alarmingly oftenespecially by men.
Source: American Society for Microbiology and the American Cleaning Institute
HOW TO A recent study of more than 85,000 women

Cut found three habits linked to a 25 percent lower
risk of developing the disease:
Your Exercising at least moderately for 20 minutes, ve days a week.
Risk of Consuming fewer than seven alcoholic drinks a week.
Breast Maintaining a body mass index between 18.5 and 24.9
(thats under 145 pounds for a ve-foot-four woman).
Cancer Source: University of Rochester Medical Center study
Health
More This, Less That

Over 1.5 million Americans are diagnosed with diabetes every year.
Simple additions and subtractions might help reduce your risk.
+ BROCCOLI AND SPINACH WHITE RICE
People who ate more leafy green In a study of nearly 200,000 people,
vegetables were less likely to develop those who ate ve or more cups of white
diabetes, a recent analysis of four studies rice a week were 17 percent more likely
+-
showed. Adding a little more than a to wind up with diabetes than people
serving daily could cut risk who ate less than one serving a
14 percent, researchers say. month. Surprisingly, switch-
ing to brown rice or bar-
+ FISH OIL ley was better than not
When overweight
(SPINACH) MICHAEL ROSENFELD/GETTY IMAGES; (RICE) ROBIN MACDOUGALL/GETTY IMAGES

eating rice at all.
mice were fed sh
oils, their levels of STAYING
inammation UP LATE
which can lead to Sleeping less than
diabetesdropped. six hours per night
Fish oil supplements can increase your
may oer the same risk of developing
help to humans, say diabetes by 30 per-
scientists from the cent by impairing your
University of California, bodys ability to regulate
San Diego. blood sugar, says a review
of ten studies.
+ BREAST-FEEDING
Mothers who breast-fed their newborns SMOKING
for as little as a month cut their own risk Having even a few cigarettes a day
of developing diabetes later in life by as can raise your risk of diabetes by
much as 33 percent. 30 percent or more.
OTHER REASONS WE KISS
Subconsciously, both partners are picking

up on clues about the others health,
reproductive potential, and even whether their very
genetic codes may be compatible. Sheril Kirshenbaum,
The Science of Kissing (Grand Central Publishing, $19.99)
Health
TREND
Good for You Gets Better

Whole wheat pasta has
always been better in
theory (high ber! extra
nutrients!) than on the
plate (mealy! mushy!). But
theres been a major leap
in quality, says food writer Bionaturae Gia Russa Garofalo
Melissa Clark, who recently 100% Organic 100% Whole Organic
held a taste test with an Whole Wheat Wheat Whole Wheat
editor of the New York Spaghetti Fettuccini Spaghetti
Times Dining section Ranked best Mild avor; Tastes like
and two New York chef- all-around. kid-friendly. whole wheat
restaurateurs. For her notes ($3.19 for 16 ($2.99 for 16 toast. ($2.19 for
on winners and losers, go to ounces; six ounces; ve 16 ounces; four
melissaclark.net. The best: grams of ber) grams of ber) grams of ber)
QUICK FIX
INSIDE STORY
How Harvard Docs TONE

YOUR TUSH
Protect Their Health Sitting is the new smoking,
from Newsweek researchers say: Were
I try not to read work e-mail on the weekend. I doing so much of it that
love weekend naps. And every Friday, my college its raising our risk of dying
roommates and I e-mail each other. Our only rule young. In her new book
for these missives is that we have to come up with Le Personal Coach (Best
several successes that weve had during the week, You, $17.95), French tness
however smalland however bad the week may and nutrition coach Valrie
have been. L o r i Tis hler Orsoni suggests ways to
I refuse to use a smart phone. In a world thats work in a workout, even if
already pulling me in ten directions at once, I dont lots of your time is spent
need to be pulled in an 11th direction. Going crazy seated. Each time you go
is not good for your health. To n y Ko maro ff
to sit, stand back up before
your butt hits the chair. The
I dont take any supplements except vitamin D. average oce worker sits at
Overall, if people eat a healthy diet, they really least 50 times a daythats
shouldnt need supplements. Mar c G arn ick 50 squats. And each one
takes only three seconds!
Home
13 Things Your dont include anything
else in the package.
Mail Carrier 5) We dont get a

penny of your tax
Wont Tell You

dollars. Really.
6) UPS and FedEx
charge you $10 or more
BY MICHELLE for messing up an ad-
CROUCH
dress. Us? Not a cent.
1) Maybe your 7) Paychecks, personal
dog wont bite cards, lettersanything
you. But in 2009, that looks like good
2,863 of us were newsI put those on
bitten, an aver- top. Utility and credit
age of nine bites card bills? They go
per delivery day. under everything else.
Thats why I wince 8) Sorry if I seem
when your Dober- like Im in a hurry, but
man comes ying out Im under the gun:
the door. and free at-rate Our supervisors tell
2) Remember this envelopes and boxes, us when to leave, how
on Valentines Day: all delivered right to many pieces of mail to
KIMBERLY BUTLER/TIME LIFE PICTURES/GETTY IMAGES

It takes our machines your doorstep. deliver, and when we
longer to read ad- 4) Media Mail is a bar- should aim to be back.
dresses on red enve- gain, but most of you Then some of us scan
lopes (especially if dont know to ask for it. bar codes in mailboxes
theyre written in Sending ten pounds of along our route so
colored ink). books from New York they can monitor our
3) Why stand in line? City to San Francisco progress.
At usps.com, you can through Media Mail 9) Yes, we do have to
buy stamps, place a costs $5.89, compared buy our own stamps,
hold on your mail, with $16.77 for Parcel but a lot of us carry
change your address, Post. Besides books, them for customers
and apply for pass- use it to send maga- who need them. If we
ports. We even offer zines, manuscripts, dont charge you, thats
free package pickup DVDs, and CDs; just because we like you.
TIME-SAVER
Snowplow-
Proof Your
Mailbox
Nothing is quite so
disheartening in the dead
of winter as a mailbox
kneecapped by a snow
plow or decapitated by the
heavy wet stu the plow
throws its way. But there
are mailbox posts that re-
volve, seesaw, and literally
spring out of the way.
Bonus: Come summer,
your mailbox stands more
of a chance against a carful
of baseball-bat-wielding,
beer-swilling teens.
w The Push Me Mailstation,
Return-to-Center Mailbox
10) Use a ballpoint pen. dents, dead bodies, System, and MailSwing
Ink from those felt tips and more. each swivel 360 degrees
runs in the rain. 13) Most of us dont no standing in the street to
11) Please dress prop- mind if you pull up to pick up bills and circulars.
erly when you come to our trucks while were (pushmemailstation.com,
the door. A towel delivering and ask for returntocentermailbox
wrapped around you your mail a little early. .com, mailswing.com)
doesnt cut it. And But please get out of w With the Tip Up Mailbox
we denitely dont your car and come get Kit, a weight raises the box
want to see you in your it. Dont just put your up and out of harms way.
The mail carrier pulls a
underwearor naked! hand out your window
rope, brings the box back
12) We serve 150 mil- and wait for me to
down, and lls it with those
lion addresses six days bring it to you. catalogs you dont want.
a week, so were often
RICHARD GROSS/CORBIS
Sources: Letter carriers in Missouri, (tipupmailboxkit.com)

in the right place at New Jersey, and North Carolina; Fredric
w The Alpha Mailbox Pro-
V. Rolando, president of the National
the right time. We pull Association of Letter Carriers; and a tector enlists a heavy-duty
people out of burning spokesman for the U.S. Postal Service.
spring to give the mailbox
cars, catch burglars
in the act, and call 911
wyou,For more things your
mail carrier wont tell
go to readersdigest
some exibility if its hit.
(alphamailpro.com)
to report trafc acci- .com/mailcarrier. Sc ott Rosenfel d
65
Home
RECAP
The Year in
Pestilence
Bedbugs are like the cast of
Real Housewives: Theyre every-
where and almost impossible to
eradicate. Whats the best advice
for preventing and destroying Bedbugs are the size
Americas newest scourge? of apple seeds.
Keeping them out grab what they need bedbugregistry.com,

of your house is goal and then reclosing the though some hotels
No. 1. Check your own bag. Others pack their claim they are being
NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC/GETTY IMAGES; (BEETLE) LAWRENCE LAWRY/GETTY IMAGES

bed (and any other clothes inside ziplock unfairly maligned by
beds you may stay in) bags inside the suitcase. customers disgruntled
with a ashlight, look- Back at home, some for other reasons.
(BEDBUG) INGO ARNDT/MINDEN PICTURES; (GRASSHOPPER) JOEL SARTORE/

ing along mattress even leave their suit- Many experts recom-
seams, rufes, the cases outside in extreme mend buying a good-
headboard, the bed cold or extreme heat to quality zipper casing
frame, walls, base- kill any bugs that may for mattresses and box
boards, etc., for the have hitched a ride. springsbefore or after
telltale dots and rusty- Others run their clothes an infestation. Bedbugs
reddish stains. through the dryer. can live more than a
Some frequent Remember that year without feeding
travelers walk upholstered seats (but better entombed
into a hotel can harbor bed- in plastic than running
room and bugs, too, bringing free under the sheets).
immediately a whole new level Taking things to a
seal up their of horror to sit- higher level, some wary
suitcases ting in a movie sleepers plant the legs
in one of theater or the of their bed in special
those giant doctors ofce. moatlike protectors
reclosable Anyone can that keep bedbugs
ziplock complain and from traveling freely
Stinkbugs
bags, reach- more than live up post a report to and from other
ing in to to their name. of bedbugs at areas of the house.
PackTite makes a were found
$309 portable oven in Pennsylvania
for luggage and other in 1998 and have now
possessions, though spread to 25 other
its not big enough for statesand stayed.
The Asian
some suitcases. Emerald ash borers longhorned
Before you hire Theyve killed 100 mil- beetle is a
bedbug-snifng dogs, lion ash trees in the tree killer.
keep in mind that United States and
that method may not threaten most of the
be foolproof. ash trees in North Grasshoppers The
Some moving compa- America. federal government
(STINKBUG) MICHAEL DURHAM/MINDEN PICTURES; (MICROSPIKES) JOHN BURCHAM/KAHTOOLA MICROSPIKES
nies are marketing Asian longhorned approved $11 million

themselves as bedbug- beetles All the sugar in emergency aid after
sensitive: They heat maples in New England the pests invaded the
their moving blankets are at risk. western United States
and trucks between Asian citrus psyllids this summer. Beth Dreher
jobs to kill pests. These tiny lice thrive Sources: Amanda Hodges, Southern
Plant Diagnostic Network,
in Florida and spread University of Florida; Joseph
PEST-FEST 2010, an orange-shriveling LaForest, Center for Invasive
Species and Ecosystem
PART II disease. Health, University of Georgia;
Environmental Protection
Brown marmo- Agency; Time; Bloomberg
rated stinkbugs Businessweek; Wall Street Journal;
Washington Post.
Crop killers,
home invaders, Grasshoppers have
and olfactory of- damaged crops in
fenders, the bugs the western U.S.
JUST IN CASE
News About Shoes You Can Use

Its a winter wonderland, all right. Youre wonder-
ing how to get from here to there over snow and
ice, through freezing rain, without slip-sliding
away and breaking your tailbone. Pull out a pair
of Microspikesthink of them as ice galoshes
with traction or as slip-on tire chains for your
feetand put them on over your shoes. The
hefty stainless steel spikes keep you walking tall.
(kahtoola.com, $59.95)
67
Work
17 Job-Interview Tips
If companies start hiring again, or you want to make a
move, consider this expert advice from money, wsj.com, and others
YOUR BACKGROUND
Paul Lieberstein as HR
w Of course, youve rep Toby Flenderson
kept an exemplary in The Oce.
Facebook prole and
never posted anything
objectionable that a
future employer might
see. All it takes is one
person sharing infor-
mation you might not
want shared, forward-
ing a post, or otherwise
breaching a trust for
the illusion of privacy
in a closed network to
be eliminated, one job
coach told wsj.com.
w And of course, youve more likely to receive checks are controver-
set up a professional opportunities. sial and somewhat >>
w But have you checked
74
e-mail address (from
GO FIGURE
now on, dungeons your credit history?
anddragonsdork1@ Michelle Singletary,
email.com is just who writes the Color
MITCHELL HAASETH/NBCU
for friends). of Money column for

w A LinkedIn spokes- the Washington Post,
woman tells wsj.com reports that some em- percent of White
that a job hunter ployers are checking House employees got
with a 100 percent applicants personal - a raise in 2010. Aver-
complete prole on nances before making age raise: 9 percent.
the site is 40 times an offer. Though the Source: gawker.com
Work
regulated, 60 percent of YOUR VOICE AND w Sit up straight, and
companies use them for BODY LANGUAGE keep eye contact
some positions. w Eye contact, a smile, consistent but not
a rm handshake: constantno need to
YOUR RESEARCH Theyre as important creep anyone out with
w Interviewers hire in the reception area too much intensity.
based on the previous as in the big corner Where you look is
employees failures in ofce, Sharon Sayler important: Stay in
the job, HR consultant (What Your Body the professional
Bill Byham tells Fortune. Saysand How to zone, from the bridge
Find out why your Master the Message) of the nose to the top
predecessor left (prob- tells AOLs WalletPop. of the forehead.
lems with deadlines, w If youre applying for
problems speaking a service position, let ANSWERING THE
coherently?). Then your voice and chin USUAL QUESTIONS
mention, in awless rise at the end of w Tell me about your-
English, how you like to each sentence so you self. Be ready, and be
get things done early. seem more agreeable. ready with something
w Come prepared with w If its a management good, writes Penelope
your own talking points job, use the credible Trunk of the CBS Inter-
or even a portfolio of voice pattern, one active Business Net-
work, says Byham. You that has a calm ca- work (bnet.com): Tell
may get an incompe- dence, almost mono- the person what is im-
tent interviewer who tone, with the chin portant to you, [and]
will follow your lead. dipping down a bit. tell it to her in a story
TREND
Youre Getting a Raise!

If you have one of these jobs, you can be more condent
than other Americans about getting your check goosed
in the coming year:
1) Actuary
JAMIE GRILL/CORBIS
2) Information systems security engineer

3) Research-and-development manager
4) Human resources consultant
5) Information technology program manager
Source: payscale.com via Money magazine
she can remember and
relay to other people. YOURE NOT ALONE
w Boast and youre Confessions

toast. An interview is
no time for embroider- of a Jobless Man
ing or fabricating the Former newspaperman T. M. Shine writes a blog at
truth, says Byham. pinkslipmyass.com. Here are a few of the things he
w Do you have any has learned while hes been unemployed:
questions for me? 1) If you want to apply for a position at Kohls, youd
This usually comes at better bring your A game.
the end of the talk, but 2) Everything has to last forever now. Financially,
Trunk says to ask early Ill never be able to replace anything. Refrigerator
on what the perfect goes. Thats it. Washer and dryer go. Thats it. Roof
candidate looks like. goes. Thats it. Wife goes. Thats it.
That way, you can tailor 3) People say you cant keep a good man down. Im
answers accordingly. the exception.
Before you leave, ask T. M. Shines new novel is Nothing Happens Until It
whether the interviewer Happens to You: A Novel Without Pay, Perks, or
has any reservations. Privileges (Crown, $23).
YOUR SALARY
w Dont lie, but dont tell. recommends ducking 401(k) matches, and
Do not reveal your when the question other benets without
current salary until you comes. Tell the inter- overstating things.
absolutely have to. viewer that the pay Lassiter suggests giv-
Leave the space on the systems at the two ing a broad range that
application blank or companies differ: Im includes all these things
write To be discussed sure you pay competi- and then asking what
in person, vault.coms tively. What did you the companys own
Jason Levin tells Money have in mind? package looks like.
magazine. Instead, say w Be general at rst. w Be specic when
Id like to focus on the Lee Miller (Get More youre pushed. When
opportunity here and Money on Your Next their patience is ag-
whether its a good t. Job in Any Economy) ging, tell them what
w Make them name the tells Money, The phrase they want to know, Las-
number rst. Pam to use is my total com- siter says. Then, smil-
Lassiter (The New Job pensation. That way, ing, ask what salary and
Security, Revised) on you can include up- compensation they have
freemoneynance.com coming raises, bonuses, in mind for the job. n
71
Work
THE RECEIPT
ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
Where Your
How to Taxes Go
Be More BY DAVID KENDALL AND
JIM KESSLER
Charming from thirdway.org
A U.S. taxpayer earning the 2009 median
income ($34,140) and paying $5,400 in
federal income tax and FICA ponies up
for the following, for starters:
Social Security $1,040.70
Medicare $625.51
Medicaid $385.28
Interest on the national debt $287.03
Combat operations
in Iraq and Afghanistan $229.17
Military personnel $192.79
Veterans benets $74.65
BY SCOTT RAAB Federal highways $63.89
from Esquire Health-care research (NIH) $46.54
It doesnt matter what you do for a Foreign aid $46.08
living; its all sales. Its making peo- Education funding for
ple feel good about doing business low-income K12 students $38.17
with you. You meet me. My voice is Military retirement benets $32.60
rm and sunny. Im smiling. A smile Pell Grants for low-income
is a primal thing, mighty past words. college students $29.75
1
NASA space program $28.09
The rst thing Im going to say is
Internal Revenue Service $17.69
Thanks for making time for me
Environmental cleanup (EPA) $11.67
[because] you dont owe me squat.
2
FBI $11.21
The next thing Im going to do is Head Start $10.91
ask about you. Im going to learn Public housing $10.50
ILLUSTRATED BY JOHN KACHIK
about you, and Im going to learn National parks $4.27

from you. Drug Enforcement
3 Im going to make you laugh.

[Were] just a planet full of
folksrich and poor alikeall hop-
Administration
Amtrak
Smithsonian Museum
$3.14
$2.23
$1.12
ing to get treated better than dirt. I Funding for the arts $0.24
can give them that gift. You can too. Salaries and benets
for members of Congress $0.19
Work
sponsible investment
rm, and Barry and
I began brewing tea
in my kitchen [in
Bethesda, Maryland].
In March 1998, we took
a batch of tea in ther
moses to Whole Foods,
and the buyer ordered
15,000 bottles.
Over the next eight
weeks, we had to raise
Barry Nalebu and Seth money, design the la
Goldman of Honest Tea.
bels, and make the tea.
Filtering those tea
DREAMERS
leaves was no easy
Tea from Two task! We also found
that by cutting down
How Seth Goldman and Barry Nalebuff the amount of sweet
built a business out of their cravings ener, we could afford
INTERVIEW BY JESSICA SHAMBORA natural sugar, a move
from Fortune that led us to make our
I
drinks all organic.
n September 1997,
I went for a run with
a friend in New
from India, where
he was writing a case
study about tea. He
As health and
environmental con
cerns hit the main
York City, says Seth told me that tea was stream, our teas took
Goldman. We both one of the worlds hold, and after ten
wanted a tasty post cheapest luxuries but years in business, we
exercise drink, but that bottled teas in the sold 40 percent of the
everything was too U.S. were made from company to CocaCola.
sweet. the lowestquality tea. Our goal: to see Honest
Id had the same Barry and I had always products in stores
discussion three years wanted to work together. around the world.
earlier with Barry We had our product.
DAN HALLMAN
Nalebuff, my business I had no experience Here are Goldmans se-

school professor at in the beverage indus crets for getting there:
Yale. I emailed Barry, try, but I quit my job at Dont take too much
who had just returned Calvert, a socially re money. If youre grow
ing at 50 percent,
JUST IN CASE
youre only going to get
better terms next time If Your Elevator
around. Dont take the
big money; just keep
Plunges ...
growing. When you Who hasnt consid-
take money before ered this worst-case
youre ready, you just scenario? What
make bigger and cost should you do?
lier mistakes. writes Robert
Find the yin to your Krulwich on npr.org
yang. Weve taken var (reacting to an
explanation in Mary
ious personality tests
Roachs Packing for
along the way, and we
Mars). Jump? Squat?
are at opposite ends of Lie down? You want
the spectrum. As a to know before it
result, were able to happens because
delegate to one another when the moment
what we each do best. comes, you are not
Thats key, because you going to have time
need to be good at so to go to the library.
many things. Jumping up merely
Figure out what delays the inevitable. Sitting, at least, gives your
business youre in. We buttocks a chance to provide cushioning. The win-
started as Honest Tea. ning strategy (which experts insist you wont need,
We had tea bags, bulk by the way): Lie down at on the elevator oor
tea, bottled teas. About for the most protection from the impact.
ve years in, we real IPAD EXTRA To see video of If Your Elevator
Plunges , download the Readers Digest magazine
ized the most impor app from the iTunes store.
tant part of our name
was Honest and that
was a much bigger idea NOTABLE QUOTE
than just being a tea

company. Today our
People with a college
brands include Honest degree are the new
Kids and Honest Ade
(like lemonade), and
working class.
Lawrence Mishel, president of the
we have the rights to Economic Policy Institute, a nonpartisan
Honest Food. n think tank, in the New York Post
ILLUSTRATED BY SERGE BLOCH 79
Misc
Random Ideas
from All Over
(GORILLA) MICHAEL K. NICHOLS/NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC CREATIVE/GETTY IMAGES; (RADIO) CORBIS; (GIRL) CORBIS
Three reasons to be Explaining poison-

happy. The divorce rate ous pols and pundits.
in the United States has Reviewing a new edition
fallen by 13 percent since of H. L. Menckens Preju-
2000. The average credit dices, Russell Baker draws a
card debt is under $5,000 distinction between honest
for the rst time since and calculated vitriol: In
2002. Scientists have todays jargon, Mencken, Egan believes kids should be
discovered that gorillas eloquently proclaiming assigned a specic topic in
play tag. (New York) views certain to oend so elementary schooldust,
Is radio dying? many, would be called beetles, applesand study
Computer games a polarizing g- it through high school,
and Facebook ure. Whereas reports the Washington
have siphoned todays Post. As Egan himself
o listeners polarizers, writes in his new book
ages 12 to 24. however, are Learning in Depth, People
A decade ago, professional who know nothing in
the group well-poisoners depth commonly assume
listened to who spend vast that their opinions are
radio two hours, sums for opinion the same kind of thing
45 minutes a day; in polls to determine how as knowledge.
2010, less than 90 minutes. best to iname the masses Our pets are getting
(Rolling Stone) for political advantage, porkier, just like us.
Mue those TV ads: Mencken did the trick by Researchers at the Univer-
Its the law. The Com- simply writing what was on sity of Alabama crunched
mercial Advertisement his mind. (The New York statistics on 24 pet
Loudness Mitigation Review of Books) populations
(CALM) Act was passed by Teach your and discovered
the House and Senate, but children to be that 23 of
the FCC will have a year to experts, not the 24 have
mull over regulations and blowhards. been getting
another year to enforce Canadian pro- heavier. (The
them. (unplggd.com) fessor Kieran Economist) n
Misc
Mini Book Excerpts
Biography
When he learned that a trailer park was to be built on
the land, he was appalled and quickly mortgaged his own
holdings in order to purchase the adjoining acreage and
preserve it ... The townspeople never forgot the rescue and
quickly developed a tenacious loyalty to their most famous
resident. Just as Salinger had once built a fence
to protect him from his neighbors, those same
neighbors now rallied around him, defending
his privacy from intrusion by the outside world.
J. D. Salinger: A Life by Kenneth Slawenski (Random House, $27)
History
On the morning of the 9th [1861] as we were dressing
we suddenly heard the report of a heavy gun! followed
by another! and another! A few moments suced to
collect us all out in the front of the house where we
had a ne view of Sumter, Moultrie & the Channel,
and there sad to relate, steaming up the channel was
a vessel with the US Flag ying at her peak! (From
the diary of Catherine Edmondston)
The Civil War: The First Year Told by Those
Who Lived It (The Library of America, $37.50)
Homes
CORBIS
[In Montreal] we had a little apartment

of strange angles in a house owned and
run by a one-armed German ex-POW.
An extremely tall transvestite who only
wore summer dressesinadequate for
a Montreal winterlived down the hall.
The most memorable feature of this place
was an ancient electric stove with heat
coils lining the oven interior. I baked a cake
in the oven once, and the top coil hung down into the batter.
Bird Cloud by Annie Proulx (Scribner, $26)
82
Medicine
On the Internet, facts oat about
freely and are recombined more
according to the preferences of
intuition than the rules of cogni-
tion: Mercury is toxic, toxins can
cause development disorders,
mercury is in vaccines; ergo, vac-
cines cause autism. Combined
with the self-reinforcing nature
of online communities and a content-starved, cash-
poor journalistic culture that gravitates toward neat
narratives at the expense of messy truths, this disdain Short Stories
for actualities has led to a world with increasingly In Fort Hood housing,
porous boundaries between facts and beliefs, a world like all army housing, you
in which individualized notions of reality, no matter get used to hearing through
how bizarre or irrational, are repeatedly validated. the walls. You learn your
The Panic Virus: A True Story of Medicine, neighbors routines: when
Science, and Fear by Seth Mnookin (Simon and if they gargle and brush
& Schuster, $26.99) their teeth; how often
they go to the bathroom
or shower; whether they
Memoir snore or cry themselves
Even now, when the phone rings late at night, I think to sleep. You learn too
its her. I stumble out of bed ready for the worst. much. And you learn to
Then I realizeits a wrong number, or a friend call- move quietly through your
ing from the other side of the ocean. The last time own small domain. You
my mother called was in 1990. I was 31 and living in also know when the men
Chicago. She said if I didnt come home right away are gone. No more boots
shed kill herself. After she hung up, she climbed stomping above, no more
onto the second-oor balcony of my grandmoth- football games turned up
ers house in Cleveland, boosted herself onto too high, and, best of all, no
the banister, and opened her more front doors slamming
arms to the wind. Below, our before dawn as they trudge
neighbor Ruth Armstrong out for their early forma-
and two paramedics tried tion, sneakers on metal
to coax her back inside. stairs, cars starting, shouts
When the call came the next to the windows above to
time, almost 17 years later, it throw down their gloves
was right before Christmas on cold desert mornings.
2006, and I didnt even You Know When the Men
hear the phone ring. Are Gone by Siobhan Fallon
The Memory Palace by Mira (Amy Einhorn/Putnam,
Bartk (Free Press, $25) $23.95)
readersdigest.com 2/11
Misc
hello
goodbye
Cleanse your system of Fancy-college
treacly holiday music with name-dropping
pianist Simone Dinnersteins A study by the
rst orchestral recording, National Bureau of
Bach: A Strange Beauty (Sony Economic Research,
Classical). A little Jesu, Joy reported on nytimes
of Mans Desiring will chase .com, shows that
Frosty the Snowman colleges enrolling
right out of your head. students with higher
SAT scores dont
With Blue Murder: Complete Collec- necessarily produce
tion, Acorn Media continues to bring graduates who make
(THUMB BANDS) COURTESY IOWA DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY; (PENNANT) COURTESY IVYSPORT INC.
the best British TV series to the United higher incomes. Evi-
States. The detective chief inspector in dently, students motivation, ambition,
these 19 episodes embraces mother- and desire to learn have a much stronger
hood and, like Prime Suspects Jane eect on their subsequent success than
Tennison, solves gruesome murders. those SAT scores, says the bureau.
Theres a new way to discourage Wooden pallets Pzer and other drug
texting while driving, according to wsj companies have had to recall products
.com. Police in Iowa are handing out because of the re retardant sprayed
thumb bands that say TXTNG KILLS. on the pallets used to transport them,
Next year: nes instead of ngerwear. reports bnet.com. The companies switch
to plastic versions may sound the death
knell for wooden pallets (and signal a
reprieve for more than a few trees).
Plugging in your electric car before

you can drive Car-battery rechargers
embedded beneath roads may one day
let you drive forever, using a battery one
fth the size of todays versions and at
one third the cost. A working prototype
is already on display near Seoul, South
Korea, reports Time.
NOTABLE QUOTE
The rst thing I ask myself with every

piece: Is it preferable to silence?
Composer Nico Muhly, New York Observer
WHAT IM UP TO
Candy Crowley
CNNs chief political correspondent
also hosts State of the Union
INTERVIEW BY AMY WALLACE
I
WHAT SHES READING WHAT SHES
m enjoyingthough enjoying is probably the

wrong wordShake Hands with the Devil,
PLUGGING
My sons band, Vinyette!
Go on vinyette.com.
a book about Rwanda and the genocide
Oh, also I anchor a
there, written by one of the UN peacekeepers.
show on CNN on Sunday
Its stark and its horrible, but its fascinating mornings, at 9 a.m. East-
and very moving. Then, just for fun and giggles, ern Standard Time.
because one of my nieces is reading this to When this comes out,
her daughters, Alice in Wonderland. Ill have been doing it for
exactly one year.
Her WHERE SHES SURFING

READERS This would never occur IF SHE RULED
DIGEST VERSION at work, but I certainly go THE WORLD,
of life and work: to zappos.com a lot. Its SHE WOULD
Give it the deathbed test. not just shoes anymore
When youre lying there I hate to sound like
in your nal days, what are you go on there! Theyre, like, Miss America, but I
going to be thinking about? selling the world! But would see that every
To me, its a great way to never, never at work. At child is fed and educated.
gauge whats impor- work, I use factcheck.org a Also, Id make sure the
tant in life. lot. Its just a great place to go beaches werent so
when people are throwing statis- crowded. You have to
tics at you. The St. Petersburg Times has another one,
(BYRNE) COURTESY PAUL SCHIRALDI
step on other peoples

politifact.com, thats a really good take-it-to-the-bank- towels just to get to the
type site to go to and sort out the whirling numbers. water. What fun is that?
WHAT SHES WATCHING Dexter and In Treat-

PHOTOGRAPHY/HBO
ment. As weird as this sounds, there are some laugh-

out-loud moments in Dexter. And Gabriel Byrne is
Gabriel
brilliant on In Treatment. You watch him with his Byrne
patients and you think, I want this guy for a shrink.
ILLLUSTRATED BY GRAFILU 85
IPAD EXTRA To watch a video about Claire Wolff
and the Urban Studio Caf, download the Readers
Digest magazine app from the iTunes store.
The Power of
Hometown Heroes
from All Over
in partnership with AmericanTowns
A Place to Gather relationships with their neighbors.

Claire Wol, 25 Wolff spends much of her time
St. Louis, Missouri writing grants to keep the caf
Urban Studio Caf aoat, but she also makes a mean
At 21, Claire Wolff was teaching latte and loves chatting it up with the
high school students photography customers. They take out the trash,
in a diverse neighborhood of bring owers from their gardens, and
St. Louis. She adored the kids, but throw their parties here, she says.
she was disturbed by the lack of reli- Its a pretty magical thing.
able job opportunities for them after Beth Dreh er
they graduated. With nancial back-
ing from Washington University in Walking for Kids
St. Louis and Kaldis, a local coffee Zachary Bonner, 13
company, she bought a spot in a Valrico, Florida
ground oor art studio and, in 2009, Little Red Wagon Foundation
opened a coffee and sandwich shop, While many young people were
thinking this was one way she might enjoying the nal weeks of summer
help the neighborhood. The Urban vacation, Zachary Bonner was work-
Studio Caf now employs ve neigh- ing his hardest. According to the
borhood kids and hosts classes and St. Petersburg Times, Zach started
workshops on printmaking, nutri- walking from Valrico, Florida, his
tion, and nancial literacy. Its been hometown, on Christmas, 2009, and
a good way to address the issues stepped over the Los Angeles city
these kids are facing, says Wolff, line nine months later in September,
who recently earned a masters in
social work. They get work skills,
express their creativity, and build
towns.com/powerofone.
Know a local hero? Visit AmericanTowns
to submit your nomination: american
PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAMARA REYNOLDS 87

racking up a total of 2,478 miles in Tampa, Florida, nishing his jour-
and raising close to $120,000 for ney 23 days later, 280 miles away in
kids in need. Along the way, Zach Tallahassee. Then in the summer
attended school online, thanks to his of 2009, he trekked about 670 miles
mother, Laurie Bonner, and brother from Atlanta to Washington, D.C., in
and sister, who alternated walking just two months. What really keeps
and driving alongside him. Among me going [is] these kids, Zach has
Zachs sponsors: AOL, McDonalds, said. They dont get to say, Im tired
and the Ofce Depot Foundation. of being homeless. So why should I
Despite his age, Zach has a long get to quit? Na ta l ie va n d er Meer
history of helping others. When
Hurricane Charley hit town in 2004, A Family Fights Back
Zach, then six, pulled a wagon Alexa, Stacey, and Tom Branchini
through his neighborhood collecting Lewiston, New York
food for storm victims. Since then, It Happened to Alexa Foundation
he has raised some $400,000 for his One September morning in 1999,
tax-exempt Little Red Wagon Foun- Stacey Branchini woke up to a
dation, which gives money to proj- nightmare when she picked up the
ects aiding homeless and troubled phone and was informed that her
children. In 2007, Zach began walk- daughter Alexa, 18, had been raped
ing to support a childrens charity inside her dormitory on the campus
of Boston University, where she
had just begun her freshman year.
While her daughters attacker was
arrested later that night, his trial
didnt take place until a year and
a half later in January 2001. In the
intervening months, Stacey, her
husband, Tom, and her daughter
faced a traumatic legal process.
The family ew to Boston for each
part of the trial. When they would
land at the airport, my daughter
WIN MCNAMEE/GETTY IMAGES
would break down in front of us,

says Stacey. We were appalled
to learn how poorly [she was]
being treated by the system.
Alexa, who testied at the month-
Zach says that long trial, says, I wouldnt have
the kids keep testied if my family hadnt been
him going. with me.
to Alexa Foun-
dation to help
families who
might endure
the same hard-
ships. The only
organization
of its kind, the
foundation pro-
vides funding
for victims
Alexa (left) and her families so that
parents vowed to they are able
change the system. to accompany
their loved ones
Her experience cost the family to court. In its rst year, the founda-
dearly in other ways as well, tion dispersed $7,400; in 2009, more
especially in travel expenses and than $100,000 was raised to help
lost income. Tom says now that 174 victims and their family mem-
hed shake his head and say to his bers and friends. Alexa is now pur-
wife, What would people do if they suing her PhD in criminal justice
couldnt afford this? Weve got to and is dedicated to assuring rape
do something. Two years later, the survivors that, despite their ordeal,
Branchinis started the It Happened they are not alone. A my Conw a y
Watch for Our We Hear with our special

Best of America
You, America Tour! double issue
thatll be packed
On January 18, funds and promotional with the bright ideas
Readers Digest will support to towns that and inspiring people
begin a remarkable road could use a boost. To we nd along the way.
trip across our beautiful nominate your town Have your own Best
country. Visiting 100 and have a chance to of America to share?
towns in 100 days, well win a family road trip Whether its about the
spotlight the everyday in a new car, as well as most dedicated volun-
heroes, special places, see photos and videos teer in Versailles or the
and creative companies of the We Hear You, best pie in Pawtucket,
that make America great. America tour, go to we want to hear from
Were also committing readersdigest.com. you. E-mail us at BOA@
more than $5 million in It all culminates in May readersdigest.com.
89
Laugh!
I was driving when I saw the
ash of a trafc camera. I
gured that my picture had
been taken for speeding, even
though I knew I wasnt. Just to
be sure, I went around the
block and passed the same
spot, driving even more slowly.
But again the camera ashed.
Thinking this was pretty
funny, I drove past even
slower three more times,
laughing as the camera
snapped away each time while
I drove by it at a snails pace.
Two weeks later, I got ve
tickets in the mail for driving
without a seat belt.
Submitted by A d a m J . S m argo n ,
Newark, Delaware
Never trust a man with a tassel

on his loafer. Its like, What, did Canada: Its Not Just for Draft
your foot just graduate? Dodgers Anymore
T he S k l a r Br ot h e r s, on comedysmack.com Canada: Land of Cheaper Drugs
Canada: Where Winter Spends
Ode to Americas Attic the Summer
Canada wants us to remember that it,
too, is part of North America. So Jack wakes up with a horrible
ILLUSTRATED BY P.C. VEY
The Week asked its readers hangover and a throbbing

to come up with an eye- Peoples black eye. The rst
catching slogan for our parents actually give thing he sees is a
neighbor to the north. them sage advice, like Do single rose on the
Canada: Where what you love, and the money side table and a
Your Cold Front will follow or The early bird note from his wife:
gets the worm. All I remember
Begins Dear, Breakfast
is Dont ll up on bread.
94 Comic O phira E is e n b e r g
And the Winner Is Dr. Frankenstein!
Here are the winners of this years Ig Nobel Prize, awarded by the journal Annals
of Improbable Research in recognition of some very real and very weird science.
Medicine Prize: For the discovery Physics Prize: For demonstrating that,
that symptoms of asthma can be on icy footpaths in wintertime, people
treated with a roller-coaster ride. slip and fall less often if they wear socks
on the outside of their shoes.
Public Health Prize: For determining
via experimentation that microbes Peace Prize: For conrming the widely
cling to bearded scientists. held belief that swearing relieves pain.
is ready. Ive gone shopping to make 2) Calculate the smallest limb

you your favorite dinner tonight. I diameter on a persimmon tree
love you! that will support a ten-pound
He stumbles to the kitchen, and possum.
sure enough, theres breakfast. Joe,
he says to his son, what happened 3) A woodcutter has a chain
last night? saw that operates at 2700 rpm.
You came home soused and got The density of the pine trees in
that black eye tripping over a chair. the plot to be harvested is 470
So why the rose, breakfast, and per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres
sweet note from your mother? in size. The average tree diameter
Oh, that. Mom dragged you to is 14 inches. Heres the question:
the bedroom, and when she tried to How many Budweisers will be
take off your clothes, you screamed, drunk before the trees are
Leave me alone. Im married! cut down?
From planetproctor.com
4) If your uncle builds a still
Paging Jeff Foxworthy that produces 20 gallons of shine
Are you a redneck? Want to be one? per hour, how many car radiators
Take the Redneck IQ test and see how are required to condense the
well you fare. Dont look for answers. product? Comic Wes Dunc a n
If you need them, youre no redneck.
1) Which of these cars will rust out I have a bad attitude. When I was a
quickest when placed on blocks in kid, I wore Lex Luthor underwear.
your front yard? Comic Cra ig Sh a rf
65 Ford Fairlane
69 Chevrolet Chevelle
64 Pontiac GTO
SeeYour favorite new joke, funny anecdote,
or crazy news story might be worth $$$.
page 105 for details.
Around the W rld
WITH ONE QUESTION
Who Do You Tell Your

Secrets To?
W ho do you turn to rst as
a condant? If its your best
friend, youve got company.
This month, a full half of those surveyed
in 16 countries say they go rst to their
I cant trust
my stylist the
closest pal to share their deepest wishes way I trust my
and darkest fears. Only in France and the
United Kingdom does husband. Gossip
best friend tie with thrives in salons.
spouse for rst Ca rmen Sa l a za r, 4 5,
Mexico City, Mexico
My best place. While a
buddy was top
friend. I dont choice in the United
want my spouse States, no country has more faith in the
or parents to BFF than the Philippines, where 51% tell
everything to their best friend.
worry about me.
S amson W u on , 4 4 ,
Hong Kong, China
I tell my best
friend. She
would never
IPAD EXTRA To see how
judge me, and I have
different countries
answered our question,
enough secrets on her
download the Readers
Digest magazine app
that she shouldnt!
from the iTunes store. Stephanie Ma rtin, 2 7,
Phoenix, Arizona
100
Best friend is tops Spouse is No. 1
Philippines 51% Netherlands 49%
China 49 Spain 46
Australia 47 South Africa 45
India 47 Russia 39
United States 43 United Kingdom 38
Canada 41 France 37
Malaysia 39 Mexico 35
United Kingdom 38
France 37 Only Mom will do
Germany 37 Brazil 42%
Cut the hairdresser The last to know Couple confessions

Hairstylists get the low- While mothers are In 11 countries, the
the favorite choice older generations
ILLUSTRATED BY DAN PAGE
est vote of condence

in every country polled. in Brazil, you wont top pick was a spouse.
Russian men are the only catch many Austra- Only in China, France,
respondents inclined lians running home and Mexico did
to exchange secrets at to Mom; Aussie younger respondents
the salon, with 20% mothers were favor their partner
selecting the stylist as the bottom pick, more than older
their top choice. at 11%. poll-takers did.
Ask Laskas
JEANNE MARIE LASKAS
In the six years Ive been married, Ive become increasingly

health conscious. I eat well, exercise, and try to be positive. My
husband is the opposite. He has excuses for why he eats junk
food, why he cant exercise, why he feels so cruddy. I try to make
it easy for him by stocking nutritious food, but then he sneaks
the high-fat stuff. His bad habits are starting to affect the quality
of his lifeand our familys. He gets angry and withdrawn
when I try to help him. What can I do? Til l Hea l th Do Us Pa rt
Dear Till, on his own. Support him when he

Tactical retreat! makes a healthy choice, but dont
Tactical retreat! go overboard, and dont brag
Your campaign about your bran akes.
to tame the wilde Proceed gently.
beest is back
ring. The help I just turned 80. In
ILLUSTRATED BY ISTVAN BANYAI; FRANK VERONSKY

you offer is likely years past, other family
received as members have thrown their
nagging or own parties to celebrate
disapproval, milestone birthdays. I
and thats a didnt want to host a big
recipe for shame and re party, but I did expect
bellion. His response to to get a phone call or
Exercise! is to exer card. The day passed
cise his right to eat. unnoticed, with very
Try something new: Back off. This few exceptions. Feeling slighted,
takes patience and a lot of tongue Im reluctant to attend upcoming
biting, but hes got to come to this weddings and birthday celebrations
Jeanne Marie Laskas is not a shrink, but she involving those who ignored me. Am
does have uncommon sense. I wrong? Peeved in Pittsburgh

Dear Peeved,
Depends on what youre going for. Lifes Little Etiquette
If you want to be cranky and lonely,
stay on the path of resentment and
Conundrums
anger. If, on the other hand, you I recently moved to a big city, and
several of my old friends are excited
want to participate in the joys of
to come visit me. My problem is
friendship in your golden years,
that money is a bit tight. As much
consider letting this go. Dont cut as Id love houseguests, Im worried
yourself off from the people in your about my nances. Is it rude to ask
life. Forgive them their failings, and them to purchase the groceries?
join in the fun. Pull one trusted
friend aside and say You know, it These friends love you enough to want
hurt that so few remembered me on to come share in your new adventure;
my birthday. Just saying Ouch!
they can handle the truth. Its all in how
you present the request for nancial
is the rst step to relieving pain.
grocery aid. No apologies! Tell them life
in the big city is fun but expensive, and
My fourth grader confided in right now youre living on tap water,
me that she has seen a classmate noodles, and popcorn. If they expect
cheating on tests. I told her to mind to eat better at your place, theyll need
her business and not tell the teacher. to join you at the market and pitch in.
The teacher should be able to catch
the child cheatingI dont want my
daughter labeled a tattletale. Should I My lunch companion at work is
approach the teacher? Ir ke d Mo m m a a good friend but swears like a truck
driver. We eat in a large company
Dear Irked, cafeteria, and although she doesnt
What would you do if you discov seem to notice the dirty looks from
ered your neighbor was a bank those who overhear her profanity,
robber? Alert the authorities, or I cringe every time. How do I broach
look the other way? (It is, after all, the subject without ruining our
the security guards job to keep the friendship? Dont Lik e Sw ea ring
robbers out, not yours.) You have
an opportunity to teach your child Dear Swearing,
about good citizenship. She, not you, Try this: Whats up with the
should go to the teacher, privately, cursing? Youre making me lose my
and report the misdeed. Being la appetite! If that doesnt work, try
beled a tattletale is a risk we all take sitting with someone else.
when we do the right thing. She saw
someone do something wrong, and
the burden of that knowledge is
readersdigest.com/laskas
Send questions about manners,
parents, partners, or office politics to
. Sending
hers to carry responsibly. gives us permission to edit and publish.
103
@Work
I ts often a challenge to
explain to strangers exactly
what I do in the aerospace
industry. At one gathering,
I didnt even try. I just said,
Im a defense contractor.
One of the guys was in-
trigued. So, what do you put
up mainly? Chain-link?
J o hn M c Ge or g e , Queensland, Australia
A customer pulled up to my
drive-through window at the
fast-food restaurant where I
work and requested some-
thing from the lunch menu.
Im sorry, but its 10:15, I
told her. Were only serving
breakfast now.
After thinking it over, she
asked, Do you have anything
on your breakfast menu that
tastes like lunch?
in sick from a bar at 5 p.m. the
B e t h T i l so n , Moultrie, Georgia
night before.
Yeah, Right Employee had to mow the lawn
We know youd never do it, but some to avoid a lawsuit from the home-
ILLUSTRATED BY DAN REYNOLDS
people concoct crazy stories so they owners association.

can skip work. Here are a few, Employees nger was stuck in
collected by hiring managers: a bowling ball.
Employee said a chicken Employee fell asleep
attacked his mom. Where is Pearl at his desk while at
Employee had a Harbor? I asked my work and hit his head,
hair transplant that fourth-grade history class. causing a neck
went bad. Heres a hint: Its a place where injury.
everyone wants to go. One
Employee called Source: careerbuilder.com
student blurted out, Candy Land!
104 K ar a Silv er, Plainfield, Indiana
@ Work in the News
Best Reason to Strike Worst Employee Most Candid Pitch
Workers at the Carlsberg When a Middletown, Posted by the Illinois
brewery in Denmark New Jersey, police Valley News: How bad
walked o the job after ocer retired, he cited do you want to be a
losing a prized perk: low morale. But he reporter? Bad enough
unlimited beer at work. didnt leave quietly. to work nights and
They now have to settle While walking the weekends? In exchange
for three beers at lunch. beat on his last day, for your long hours and
A worker told the Wall he wrote 14 tickets for tireless eorts, you will
Street Journal that expired inspection be rewarded with low
wasnt enough: I need stickers all to police pay and marginal health
a beer when I take a patrol cars. insurance.
cigarette break. Source: Associated Press Source: journalismjobs.com
Court of Less Appeal said. Her company has a very strict

If youre interested in becoming policy against hiring relatives.
a lawyer, youll need a degree. But Who made up that ridiculous
as these court transcripts reveal, rule?
the question is, in what? My mother.
Attorney: How was your rst D o u g Ba ril l a , Milwaukee, Wisconsin
marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Attorney: And by whose death You Can
was it terminated? Win $30,000!
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jokes, quotes, and news items to
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ones put up too much of a ght.
> To enter the sweepstakes (with or
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My coworker at the hotel was miser- go to readersdigest.com/jackpot or
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He shook his head. I cant, he
IS THIS
ANY WAY
TO LOSE
WEIGHT?
Actually, yes. Award-winning
science journalist Gary Taubes
explains (nally!) why conventional
diets dont workand what you
can do to lose weight.
I
INTERVIEW BY LISA DAVIS
f obesity researchers are so smart, why are we so large?

Thats the question at the heart of Gary Taubess new book,
Why We Get Fatand What to Do About It. After all, public
health authorities have been hammering home a very simple
message for the past 40 years: If you dont want to be fat,
cut the fat from your diet. And in those years, obesity rates
have gone from 13 percent to 22 percent to, in the last
national survey, 33 percent.

PHOTOGRAPHED BY ERIK RANK; FOOD STYLING BY MARGARETTE ADAMS/MARNIE ROSE AGENCY
Taubes thinks he knows why: Obe- most assuredly true. Taubes sat down
sity experts have gotten things just with our health editor, Lisa Davis, to
about completely backward. If you share the Readers Digest Version of
look carefully at the research, he says, his theory. Heres what he wants you
fat isnt the enemy; easily digested to know.
carbohydrates are. The very foods
that weve been sold as diet staples
fat-free yogurt, plain baked potatoes
(hold the butter), and plain pasta (hold
THE OBESITY
EXPERTS ARE WRONG.
Theres this absolutely fundamen-
the olive oil, sauce, and cheese)actu- tal idea when it comes to weight and
ally reset our physiology to make us obesitythat the way we get fat is
pack on the pounds. And the foods that we take in more calories than
that weve been told to shunsteak, we expend. Its the gluttony and sloth
burgers, cheese, even the sour cream hypothesis: We eat too much and ex-
so carefully scraped from that potato ercise too little. It sounds undeniable,
can help us nally lose the weight and as commonsensical as can be, and its
keep our hearts healthy. actually nonsenseit doesnt tell us
As you might imagine, Taubes has anything meaningful about why we
stirred controversy with his conten- get fat. If I get fatter, its obvious that
tions. Though hes known as an obses- I must have overeaten. But if you ask
sive reporter and a science nerd (he the question, Why did you overeat?
studied applied physics at Harvard and Well, that question I cant answer
aerospace engineering at Stanford and not with the calories-in/calories-out
has won numerous science-writing theory of weight gain.
awards), hes been called a dangerous People react to this as though
cherry picker of datasomeone who Im questioning the laws of thermo-
searches through decades of studies to dynamics. Im not questioning them;
weave together the bits he likes. But a Im saying theyre not relevant. Yes, if
series of studies in the past ve years youre getting fatter, youre taking in
has compelled researchers to rethink more calories than youre burning
their long-held prejudices against low- the question is why. Theres a ridicu-
carb diets. These days, scientists like lously simple alternative hypothesis,
Mitchell Lazar, MD, who directs the which is that you dont get fat because
diabetes institute at the University of youre overeating. You overeat be-
Pennsylvania, and cardiologist Allan cause youve developed a disorder in
Sniderman, MD, at McGill University, the way your fat tissue is regulated.
take Taubess argument very seriously.
Taubes calls his ideas just an alter-
native hypothesis for why we get fat.
Then, with trademark condence, he
DIETS
DONT WORK.
Over the past 40 years, studies have
adds that this radical rethinking is al- shown that you cant get a clinically
What we
tell people to
do to lose
weight
eat less and
exerciseis
exactly what
youd do if
you wanted to
make yourself
hungry.
signicant effect from cutting calo- you to eat lesshow much good is
ries. At the same time that experts are that going to do?
saying that gluttony and sloth are re- If you cut calories, youll be hun-
sponsible for weight gain, theyll tell gry all the timethats a given. But
you that we know no diet works, and what also happens is that you adjust
thats why we have to come up with your energy expenditure to match
some anti-obesity drug thatll make your reduced intake. Studies in ani-
billions. Thats why the medical mals show that if you restrict energy
community considers bariatric sur- intake, their cells actually burn less
geryactually altering your digestive energy, which is one reason that obe-
systema reasonable solution. sity researchers, in their honest mo-
It shouldnt be a surprise that di- ments, acknowledge that restricting
ets dont work. Obese people have calories is ineffective.
spent their lives trying to eat less.
There are probably a few people who
gave up early and said, This is hope-
less and Im going to have a good
ITS IMPOSSIBLE
TO COUNT CALORIES.
Public health authorities want us to
time. But for the most part, you can practice energy balance, which is a
dene an obese person as someone new way to say that you shouldnt take
for whom eating less didnt work. in more calories than you expend. So
So the simple fact that a doctor tells what does energy balance entail?
113
The low-fat
diet that
people
have been
eating in
hopes of
protecting
their heart
is actually
bad for their
heart.
If you consume about 2,700 calo- is like a single bite of a McDonalds
ries a day, which is typical if you aver- hamburger. Its a couple of sips of
age men and women together, thats a Coca-Cola or a few bites of an ap-
million calories a year, or ten million ple. No matter how good you are at
calories in a decade. Over the course counting calories, you cant do it. So
of a decade, youre eating roughly ten if practicing energy balance is really
tons of food. How accurately do you the way to keep from getting fat, the
have to match calories-in to calories- question is, Why arent we all fat?
out so that you dont gain more than
20 pounds over the course of a de-
cade? Because if you gain 20 pounds
every decade, youll go from being
EXERCISING WONT
KEEP YOU THIN.
People in nutrition are so keen on
lean in your 20s to obese in your 40s, making us lose weight by exercising
which many of us do. And the answer that theyve forgotten the fact that
is: 20 calories a day. If you take in the more energy you expend, the
an extra 20 calories a day and put it hungrier you get. Imagine I asked
into your fat tissue, you will gain 20 Alice Waters, the great chef from
pounds every decade. Chez Panisse, to my house to make
The point is, nobody can match a 12-course feast, and youre invited.
calories-in to calories-out with that And Ive got a pastry chef coming and
kind of precision. Twenty calories a gourmet butcherin Berkeley they
5 WAYS TO GET STARTED
(BUTTER) MICHAEL ROSENFELD/GETTY IMAGES; (PASTA) DAVIES AND STARR/GETTY IMAGES; (BRUSSELS SPROUT) JUSTIN LIGHTLEY/GETTY IMAGES;
Eric Westman, MD, who directs the Duke Lifestyle Medicine Clinic in Durham,
North Carolina, and who cowrote The New Atkins for a New You, has been
studying low-carb diets for 12 years. His ve guidelines:
1 DONT TRY TO LIMIT FAT. Eating high-fat foods

keeps you from feeling deprived, says Dr. Westman.
Bacon, cheese, heavy cream, sour cream, cream
cheese, mayonnaise, butter, and oil are all healthy parts
of a low-carb diet.

2 SAY GOODBYE TO PASTA, BREAD, AND RICE.
To lose weight, most people have to stay under 20
grams of net carbs per day (net carbs refers to the
number of grams of carbs minus grams of ber, because
ber doesnt send blood sugar spiking). That rules out bread

(ORANGE) EVGENIE IVANOV/GETTY IMAGES; (BACON) JAMES AND JAMES/GETTY IMAGES
(two slices contain about 24 grams of net carbs), rice (over

40 grams in a cup), and pasta (about 40 grams per cup).
Once you hit your goal, you can slowly add in more carbs that
dont have a big impact on blood sugar.
3 BE PICKY ABOUT VEGETABLES. Starchy (carb-

heavy) vegetablesmost of the ones that grow
underground, as well as cornare o-limits. But you
can have up to four cups daily of leafy greens such as lettuce,
spinach, and collard greens. Limit broccoli, cauliower, green
peppers, okra, and Brussels sprouts to two cups per day.
4 SAY NO TO HIDDEN SUGARS. Fruit, that legend-
arily healthful food, is packed with sugar, aka carbohy-
drates. So are fruit juices. Other concentrated sources
include soda, cakes, and candy. You may be able to keep diet
sodas, light beer, dry wine, and sugar-free sweets on the
menu and still lose weight.
5 EAT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. When it comes to

protein and fat, you dont have to use portion con-
trol, says Dr. Westman. Your hunger will go down

automatically when you start eating this wayall you
have to do is stop eating when youre full. Be th D reh er
115
have gourmet butchers now. Bring along with sugar-water combina-
your appetite! tions, which can be anything from
The two things youre likely to do fruit juice to Coca-Cola. The reason
are that you might skip lunch, and you is that refined carbohydrates raise
might exercise more. You might even your insulin levels. Scientists have
say, Look, Taubes lives three miles known since the early 1960s that
from my houseIm going to walk insulin is the primary hormone that
there, and by the time I get there, Im regulates your fat tissue. This is not
going to be hungry. The joke is that controversialif you go to an endo-
the two things we tell people to do in crinology textbook and look up what
order to lose weighteat less and ex- makes a fat cell fat, itll tell you all
ercise moreare the exact two things the ways insulin does it. Then you
you would naturally do if you wanted look up obesity, and itll say people
to make yourself hungry. get fat because they eat too much and
When you look at the data from exercise too little. Theres a complete
research on obesity and exercise, disconnect between the fundamen-
theres no compelling evidence that tal science and the cause of human
exercise has any effect on weight. The obesity.
American College of Sports Medicine All Im saying to obesity research-
says in its guidelines, which were is- ers is, Pay attention to the hormonal
sued jointly with the American Heart and enzymatic regulation of the fat
Association, that its reasonable to as- tissue. If you do, youll get a different
sume that if you exercise more, youll answer for what causes obesity and
be less likely to gain weight over time. what cures it. Basically, Dr. Atkins got
But in those same guidelines, it also it right with the Atkins diet, although
says that so far, data to support this he didnt get all the science right.
hypothesis are not particularly com-
pelling. Which is the kiss of death. Its
a 100-year-old hypothesisif the data
arent compelling by now, you can be
YOU NEED TO EAT
FOODS THAT KEEP
INSULIN LOW.
pretty condent that the hypothesis We tend to think of our fat cells as
is wrong. a long-term bank account, where
your body stores excess calories as
BUT THERE IS A WAY

TO LOSE WEIGHT.
Our mothers grew up believing re-
fatty acids, which you dont use until
youre starving. But the reality is that
your fat tissue is more like your wal-
ned carbohydrates and starches were let, and your meals are like going to
fatteningpasta, potatoes, bread, the ATM. You know how you use the
sweets, rice, and corn. And they were ATM: You put the cash in your wallet
right: These foods literally make you and gradually spend it, and when you
fat. Sweets are probably the worst, get too low, you go back to the ATM.
Not everyone
gets fat from
eating carbs,
and getting
rid of carbs
might not
make you
lean. But it
will make you
the leanest
you can be.
But insulin locks the money in your like you could see the pounds lying
wallet, so youve got to keep going behind me on the sidewalk.
back to the ATM. Your fat cells are I eat eggs and bacon or sausage for
getting fatter and fatter, but you cant breakfast every day. At lunch, I might
get at the fatty acids that are stored have three quarters of a pound of ham-
inside them. So you get hungry and burger with cheese, no bun. Dinner is a
you eat again. pound of steak or half a roast chicken
or the largest piece of sh I can buy,
AISLOW-CARB
KEY.
DIET
When I was first getting into this
and vegetables. You eat what you want
until youre satiatedyou just dont
eat the things that will make you fat.
subject, I tried the Atkins diet as an You go on this diet and eat break-
experiment. It had never crossed my fast, and suddenly its two oclock and
mind to do thatI associated it with youre thinking, Oh, I really should
quackery. But now I would go to a res- eat lunch. But youre not hungry. I
taurant with friends, and they would used to eat a very low-fat diet, and
get skinless chicken breast with green I was hungry every two hours or so.
salad, and I would get a pepperoni and And I gained weight every year.
melted mozzarella cheese appetizer The biggest study so far on low-
and a steak. The weight just dropped carb diets came out last year. It com-
off. If I walked down the street, it was pared a low-fat diet in which you got
117
1,200 to 1,800 calories per day with obesity research: that you can have
a low-carbohydrate diet where you an effective diet that doesnt restrict
could eat as much as you wanted. The calories. But the establishment has
researchers kind of buried this part of ignored that aspect of it. And in most
it, by the way. They barely touched on of the studies that have been done,
the fact that this is a severely calorie- a low-carb diet actually does better
restricted diet compared with an all- than a low-fat, low-calorie diet.
you-can-eat diet. But what they found
was that the low-carb diet did just as
well. To me, this has been the most
important observation in the eld of
HIGH FAT IS BETTER
FOR YOUR HEART.
The idea that dietary fat causes heart
disease is deeply, deeply ingrained.
We all know the Atkins diet kills peo-
WHAT A plethats what weve been told, any-
LOW-CARB DAY way. When I started eating this way,

my wife made me get a life insurance
LOOKS LIKE policy. But over the past decade, doz-
A typical menu for Eric Westman, ens of studies have nally looked at
MD, who directs the Duke Lifestyle the Atkins diet, and they show that
Medicine Clinic in Durham, North heart disease risk factors improve
Carolina:
more on this kind of low-carb diet
BREAKFAST than on the low-fat, low-calorie
2-egg ham-and-cheese omelet diet that doctors and the American
Diet cranberry juice Heart Association want you to eat.
Coee with cream and sugar-free Your HDL goes up, which is the most
sweetener meaningful number in terms of heart
LUNCH health. Small, dense LDLwhich is
Salmon salad (2 cups lettuce and particularly dangerousbecomes
1 cup salad vegetables) large, uffy LDL. And not only does
Water or diet soda your cholesterol prole get better,
DINNER your insulin goes down, and your in-
8-ounce rib eye steak with sulin resistance goes away, and your
blue cheese blood pressure goes down.
1 cup of mock mashed potatoes The low-fat diet that people have
(cauliower with butter, cream, been eating in hopes of protecting
and bacon) their heart is actually bad for their
DESSERT heart, because its high in carbohy-
Sugar-free gelatin or sugar-free drates. The public health effort to
gelatin chocolate pudding get everyone to eat that way is one of
(made with heavy cream) the fundamental reasons that we now
have obesity and diabetes epidemics.
IF YOU HAVE A
WEIGHT PROBLEM,
ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.
bohydrates might not make you lean.
But the leanest you can be is on the
diet with the fewest carbohydrates.
The past 40 or 50 years, obesity re- Are there some cautions? Yes
search has basically been an attempt some people feel low energy while
to explain why obese people just dont their bodies adjust to this way of
have the moral rectitude of lean peo- eating, though adding a little salt or
ple, without actually saying that. Its bouillon to your diet can take care of
terribly damaging. Its inexcusable, but that. A low-carb diet can reduce your
its still the conventional wisdom. Most blood pressure, too, so you might have
doctors dont want to deal with obese to adjust your medicationif you
patients because they think theyre have a medical condition, you should
dealing with someone who simply talk to your doctor rst. But basically,
doesnt care enough to do what they Im just saying, Eat what humans
do: Eat in moderation, and exercise. evolved to eat. Highly rened grains
Ill walk down the street and see and sugars were not part of our diet
somebody whos obese, and I cant see for 99.999 percent of human history.
it as anything but a hormonal disor- Back when we were hunter-gatherers,
der. Not everyone gets fat from eat- we ate meat as often as we could get
ing carbohydratesit has to do with it, and when we ate plants, they were
how sensitive your cells are to insulin much tougher and higher in fiber
and specically how sensitive your fat than they are todaymuch lower in
cells are versus your muscle cells. But digestible carbs, in other words. This
some huge percentage of the people isnt a diet. The fundamental idea is,
who do get fat got that way because of Dont eat the foods that make you fat.
the carbs in their diet. If youve been Beyond that, you can eat as much as
fat for a long time, getting rid of car- you want.
THE CUSTOMS LINE

Say something funny! Thats what people say when they nd out Im
a comedian. But how would they feel if I found out they were a plumber
and said, Fix my sink!? So when someone asks me to say something
funny, I reply, Youre good-looking! And they laugh. Usually.
Once at JFK airport, the customs guy looked at my paperwork and
saw that I was a comedian. Say something funny, he commanded.
Youre good-looking, I shot back.
There was a pause, followed by a smile. Then he pulled me aside and
went through all my luggage.
E d d i e Brill , comedian and comic booker for Late Show with David Letterman
119
Miracle
Boy
Pulled from the rubble of Haitis
earthquake after eight days of
unimaginable suering, Kiki Joachin
and his triumphant smile captivated
the world. Today he and his family
struggle to rebuild their home,
their livesand their hopes.
BY KENNETH MILLER
IPAD EXTRA To watch an exclusive video interview

of Kiki and his family, download the Readers Digest
magazine app from the iTunes store.

PHOTOGRAPHED BY ALLISON SHELLEY/GETTY IMAGES 121
January 19, 2010:
D
A jubilant Kiki is
rescued by two
U.S. reghters.
den. So they buy food from vendors

down the road, a strain on their mi-
nuscule budget.
Theyre really struggling, says
photojournalist Allison Shelley, who
tracked down the family in Novem-
ber for Readers Digest. The adults
share a couple of mattresses on the MATTHEW MCDERMOTT/AMERICARES/POLARIS
oor, and the kids sleep on piles of
clothes and comforters. Even so, the
eep in the Haitian Joachins are better off than many in
countryside, three hours from teem- this beleaguered country, where more
ing, quake-torn Port-au-Prince, Moise than one million people still live in
Kiki Joachin shares a two-room tent cities and more than 2,000 have
wooden shack with his older sister died in a cholera outbreak. An esti-
and younger brother, their mother, mated 100,000 children were left or-
her parents, and four or ve other phaned by last years earthquake, but
relatives. Coconut and banana trees Kiki, luckily, is not one of them.
grow in the dirt yard, but a recent Even around his parents, however,
ood has wiped out the familys gar- he is a timid boy, given to one-word
answers, still struggling to nd his
place in these new surroundings.
Bloodied by
Asked which he likes better, the
quiet village of Depalewhere he
falling cinder
has spent the past 12 monthsor
his bustling hometown, eight-year-
blocks, Kikis
old Kiki answers without hesitation: mother frantically
Port-au-Prince.
Thats where he was January 12, burrowed through
2010, when a massive earthquake
struck Haiti. As the ground began
the crumbled
convulsing, Kikis mother, Gracia
Raymond, ran from the porch of their
concrete.
apartment building in search of her Kikis father, Odinel, was trapped
five-year-old son, David, who was in his ofce at the Haitian customs
outside fetching water. Bloodied by service. It would take him two days
falling cinder blocks, she began fran- to nd his wife. When she told him
tically burrowing through the crum- that ve of their children were bur-
bled concrete toward her ve other ied in the wreckage of their home,
kids. She could make no headway. I asked a neighbor to chop off my
Reunited (clockwise
from left): Odinel,
Sabrina, Kiki, Gracia,
and David at the
kids school.
123
I saw my brother
die right next
to me, says Kiki.
He wept as his
sister Sabrina
covered little Titite
with her shirt.
head, Odinel recalls, because I had
no reason to live.
For eight days, Kiki was buried
beneath the ruins of his apartment
building. He and Sabrina, 11, huddled
in a tiny space under tons of rubble,
with no food or water, barely able
to move; nearby lay Titite, four, and
the bodies of their little sisters Yeye,
nine, and Didine, 15 months.
When our house fell down, I
thought I was going to die, Kiki re-
calls. On their fth day in the ruins,
he says, I saw my brother die right
next to me. He remembers weeping
as Sabrina covered little Titite with
her T-shirt.
Then on the eighth day, a neighbor
rummaging for her possessions heard
Kikis faint cries for water. Two re-
ghters, New Yorker Chris Dunic and
Virginian Brad Antons, spent the next
four hours cautiously drilling through
the debris and nally reached Kiki
Constant sorrow:
and his sister.
Odinel at his familys
The hardest thing was getting the former home in
kid to come up, says Dunic, who was Port-au-Prince.
wearing a helmet and a face mask and
125
A new home: Kiki
outside the shack
he shares with nine
family members
in Depale.

wielding a jackhammer. We were
scaring him. Finally, Kikis neighbor
Were not living
reassured him. Dunic reached down
and handed the boy to her.
very well, Odinel
As Kiki was raised from the hole,
he broke into a blazing grin and ung
says, but I want
out his arms in a victory gesture. my kids to continue
In the midst of a disaster that killed
220,000 people, Sabrina and Kikis to go to school.
rescue was a welcome bit of good
news. I smiled because I was free,
Afterward, they
Kiki told reporters. I smiled because
I was alive.
can learn a trade.
the customs ofce has been cut back
With his family safe in Gracias home to three days a week; on his days off,
village of Depale, Odinel haunts the he returns to Depale when he can
streets of the capital, camping under afford the bus fare.
a tarp near the ruins where his other Kiki, Sabrina, and David walk three
children remain interred. His job at miles each morning to a school called
Making progress:
Kiki, in class at
Ecole Renovation in
Jacmel, Haiti.
127
Ecole Renovation, in the town of Kiki tells adults he hopes to be a
Jacmel. In Port-au-Prince many kids mechanic when he grows up, or a
still havent resumed their studies be- truck driver, or perhaps an engineer
cause most schools were destroyed so he can help rebuild his shattered
by the quake. I like school, even the country. But even talking about his
homework, Kiki says, though the dreams, Kiki is subdued. The joy that
ordeal left him and his siblings so transgured his face last January has
distressed that they failed all their seldom returned, his family says. Of-
classes last semester. ten he is silent and withdrawn.
Like most schools in Haiti, Ecole Recently, however, his teacher
Renovation charges tuition, nearly says, he has been opening up in
$100 a year per child. Unable to keep class, talking a little more, and try-
up with the payments, Odinel owes ing his best to make progress. Kikis
$400 and worries over how he will country, meanwhile, has barely be-
settle the debt. Were not living gun to dig itself out of the rubble. At
very well, he says, but I want my press time, just $897 million of the
kids to continue to go to school. Af- $5.75 billion in reconstruction funds
terward, they can learn a tradeany promised by 130 countries had been
one they want. delivered to Haiti.
The money isnt getting to these
people, says rescuer Dunic, who
DO MORE has been following the situation
Save the Children is one of through news reports. Theyre no
many private organizations doing better off than they were right after
excellent work in Haiti. Readers the quake.
Digest is partnering with the group As the delays stretch on, families
to help provide health care, clean such as Kikis face choices that peo-
water, sanitation, and school supple in richer nations rarely have to
plies to children like Kiki Joachin
contemplate. Food or school? Tent
and their families. To donate, go to
in the city or shack in the country?
savethechildren.org/readersdigest,
or mail your check to Save the Chil- Stay with your loved ones or travel
dren, 54 Wilton Road, Westport, to look for work?
Connecticut 06880. Write Read- My dream is to start a business for
ers Digest in the memo line on my family, says Odinel, maybe sell-
your check, and well report back ing rice and beans, to be able to put
on the good your donations do. another room on the house so the kids
Information concerning Save the Children Federation, can sleep better.
Inc., including nancial, licensing, or charitable
purpose(s), may be obtained, without cost, by writing
Meanwhile, he and Gracia are
to Save the Children Federation, Inc., Corporate grateful for what they have. It was a
Secretary, 54 Wilton Road, Westport, Connecticut
06880, or by calling 800-728-3843. miracle, she says. God didnt want
us to lose all of the children. n
THE 2010
BLAME
& SHAME
AWARDS
COLD-BLOODED
BUREAUCRATS,
CARELESS
PENCIL PUSHERS,
AND LAZY
CIVIL SERVANTS:
HERE ARE OUR
WINNERS FOR
THE MOST
OUTRAGEOUS
ACTS OF
THE PAST YEAR.
BY SACHA Z. SCOBLIC
ILLUSTRATED BY BRIAN STAUFFER 129

he forgot to pay his fee on time. He
and his family lost everything they
owned, along with three dogs and a
cat. They could have been saved if
someone had just put some water on
them, says Cranick.
Whats even more maddening is
that Cranick offered both the 911 op-
erator and the re department the
$75. In fact, he was willing to pay any-
thing to save his home. Which brings
up the question: Is the point of the
emergency-response fee to collect
needed funds for an overworked re
department, or a kind of protection
designed to punish those who dont
pay up? And what if a child is trapped
inside a burning building? When the
THE CRUEL re department arrived at Cranicks

farm, they ignored his pleas and made
AND UNUSUAL no attempt to save his property
PUNISHMENT
though they spilled plenty of water
on his neighbors home.
AWARD South Fulton mayor David Crocker

sees it in purely mercenary terms. Its
a service we offer, he told reporters.
Gene Cranick, 68, of Obion Either they accept it, or they dont.
County, Tennessee, stood by Surprisingly, Cranicks wife, Pau-
helplessly while reghters lette, 67, told reporters she harbors no
watched his house burn to ill will against the no-pay, no-spray
the ground. Cranicks rural fire department. You cant blame
Tennessee property lies out- them if they have to do what the boss
side the city of South Fulton, says to do.
home to the nearest re department. But the decision to let the home
Residents of the rural areas there are burn was incredibly irresponsible,
asked to pay a $75 fee for re services. said Harold Schaitberger, president of
Fair enough. But when residents the International Association of Fire
overlook their bill, are their homes, Fighters. Professional career fire-
belongings, and even the lives of their ghters shouldnt be forced to check
pets suddenly worthless? Thats how a list before running out the door to
it felt to Cranick, who freely admits see which homeowners have paid up.
THE ABSENT AND ALMOST
FORGOTTEN AWARD
When Maureen Womack took est members of the city of Norfolk.
over as executive director of This reects poorly on everyone
the Norfolk, Virginia, Com- involved in local government.
munity Services Board, she Late last year, the ghost employee
made a point of trying to get was nally red. Womacks ofce is-
to know all her new employ- sued a statement reading The City
ees. But one employee was Attorneys Ofce took appropri-
missingand had been for 12 years. ate steps to prevent any further
Though Womack wouldnt comment payments to the employee, and the
on the ongoing investigation, which employee was terminated.
is currently with the Norfolk City City Attorney Bernard Pishko
Attorneys Ofce, she has acknowl- has said that the hooky-playing em-
edged that one employee on the ployee offered virtually no explana-
boards payroll had not reported to tion for cashing all those checks and
work in years. accruing benets for no work, and
According to city ofcials, the em- she may be forced to pay back the
ployee drew a salary of $25,000 to money. We certainly hope so.
$40,000 a year. Thats $300,000
to $480,000 plus full benets
over the past 12 yearsfor not
a single day of work. The Com-
munity Services Board is an
independent organization that
relies mainly on federal and
state funding, with 14 percent
of its budget coming from city
dollars. Which means that the
American taxpayer footed the
bill for the salary of this no-
show fraud.
Im horrified, says Nor-
folk mayor Paul Fraim. How
could something like this have
gone on for so long? What
makes it worse, says Fraim, is
that the Community Services
Board helps some of the needi-
131
THE REPORTS OF
HER DEATH ARE GREATLY
EXAGGERATED AWARD
When Judy Rivers was turned Rivers went straight to the Social
down by her bank after she Security Administration. They con-
asked to open a safe-deposit firmed that she was alive, much to
box, she could hardly believe her relief. But when Riverss appli-
the reason: According to bank cations for credit cards were turned
records, she was dead. This down, when she couldnt get her bank
came as news to Rivers, who to issue her replacement debit cards,
at 58 was in good health and living and when retail stores called the cops
in Jasper, Alabama. But apparently on her after her cards were rejected,
her Social Security number had been Rivers was at her wits end. She even
listed as deceased. feared being led away in handcuffs
Needless to say, I was startled, for identity theftof her own identity.
Rivers told MSNBCs Bob Sullivan. How could this happen? It turns
out that an investigative
agency called Chex Sys-
tems, which conducts
credit and background
checks for retailers,
banks, and services, had
mistakenly listed Rivers
as dead. Mistakes en-
ter the system, says Jay
Foley, head of the Identity
Theft Resource Center,
through a combination of
fraud and errorsome
smart guy tries to duck
a debt collector by say-
ing, Im dead. Then a
company like Chex takes
down the wrong num-
ber, which is fed into the
financial-reporting sys-
tem. The company, like
other credit-checking
organizations, doesnt fact-check. It license, and send them to the credit
also doesnt require a death certicate, agency, says Foley.
which means the rms error can be- Rivers, meanwhile, is still wading
come the absolute truth. through the bureaucracy at Chex
If this happens to you, heres how Systems. And shes in good company.
to untangle yourself from the mad- Foley says that thousands of Ameri-
dening mistake of a credit-checking cans suffer digital deaths every year
company that doesnt check its facts. and end up lost in some daunting
Get a letter from the Social Security bureaucratic labyrinth. Judy Rivers,
Administration verifying that you are for one, would like to return from the
alive and a letter from local police dead, and, she says, I want to be able
verifying [that you have a] drivers to write a check.
AND SOMETIMES THE LITTLE GUY WINS

Signed O Barry Tuck Not for Sale Eminent died, the victim of a faulty
was outraged at Verizons domain cases usually end chip, he explained the
unwillingness to x an the same way: The govern- problem, but the company
$800 overcharge. When ment wins; the citizen demanded $279 to x it.
the company canceled his moves. Not Earl Giefer, a Outraged, he hung up and
service, Tuck spray- 94-year-old farmer in Oak called back, explaining that
painted, in big blue letters Creek, Wisconsin. The 25- the chip had a history of
on a large piece of ply- acre property he inherited defects. Rebued again,
wood, Honk if Verizon in 1931 was worth much he sued the company in
Screwed U Over and dis- more to Giefer than the small claims court. Its
played it outside a Verizon $1.2 million oer made by intimidating because you
store in South Boston, the city of Oak Creek. After know they have lawyers at
Virginia. Company em- a battle that one city rep- their disposal, Montoya
ployees threatened to call resentative deemed a PR says. But he still won a
the police, but Tuck didnt nightmare, Giefer is stay- $750 settlement. (HP
budge and eventually got ing put, and the city prom- denied any liability.) To
the managers attention. ises not to disturb him help others, Montoya has
His service was reinstated again. At 94, why should I posted a 26-page guide on
and the overcharge was go anywhere? he says. the Web on how to le
corrected, but Tucks Sources: todaystmj4.com and similar small claims:
thedailyreporter.com
trust has yet to be won. voidthevoid.com/
A ton of people have Hanging Up Michael lawsuitpdf. This is the
been having problems, Montoya tried customer way to get a big companys
he says. So hes keeping service rst. When his attention, Montoya says.
the signjust in case. $1,000 two-year-old Source: thebismarcktribune.com
Source: southsidecentral.com Hewlett-Packard laptop Na ta l ie va n d er Meer
133
THE GAMING
THE SYSTEM
AWARD
California welfare recipients
have found that state-issued
debit cards can make access-
ing cash really convenient.
Perhaps too convenient. It
turns out that the debit cards,
meant to help poor families The state of California was just try-
feed and clothe their children, work ing to help welfare recipients access
as well in a strip club or a casino as their benets at more locationsso
they do in a grocery store. they wouldnt have to carry around
According to an investigation by large sums of cash, says Amy Palmer
the Los Angeles Times, more than of Californias Department of Health
$12,000 in welfare funds was dis- and Human Services. Unfortunately,
pensed at strip clubsplaces with ATM s are found, well, just about
names like Star Strip and Seventh everywhere.
Veil. But thats nothing compared with Not enough thought was given to
the government assistance doled out the kinds of locations where access
at casinos: Within one year, a stag- was being made available, admits
gering $1.8 million from the Tempo- Palmer. Luckily, the state has now
rary Assistance for Needy Families come to its senses and put an end to
program was dispensed at casino and this risky practice. Sounds like a bet-
poker-room ATMs. ter bet to us.
THE HEARTLESS
CIVIL SERVANTS AWARD
When you call 911, you expect In excruciating pain, Mitchell called
that help will be on the way. 911 a whopping ten times over the
But after 50-year-old Curtis course of one weekend before he died
Mitchell dialed Pittsburgh 911 at home. Transcripts of his calls even
with severe abdominal pains, show Mitchell saying, I need a para-
no ambulance came for him. medic [My stomach] is killing me.
So he called again. And again. So what happened? Due to heavy
snow in the area, paramedics could at the time of the incident. You get
get only within four blocks of Mitch- out of the damn truck and you walk
ells house. But instead of hitting the to the residence.
pavement and walking to Mitchells The city is facing a civil suit from
home, the paramedics called Mitchell Mitchells children. Meanwhile, two
and told him he would have to come emergency medical technicians and
to them. one paramedic were red over the
Thats the thing that disturbs me incident (theyve appealed the deci-
most, says Sharon Edge, Mitchells sion), and one additional paramedic
ance. When [the paramedic] made was suspended for a week.
the comment, If he wants a ride, hes All of this is cold comfort to Edge,
gonna have to come to the truck. who thought that first responders
What are they running? A transpor- were supposed to be dedicated peo-
tation system? I thought it was to save ple who would go beyond the call of
lives. duty.
Its unacceptable, said Mike Huss, For some, apparently, thats only if
director of Pittsburgh Public Safety, the weather permits.
ACTS OF LOVE
If endear is earned
and is meant to identify
two halves
then it composes
one meaning
which means
a token
a knot
a note
a noting in the head

of how it feels
to have your heart

be the dear one
Pam Rehm
SMALL WORKS (FLOOD EDITIONS).
TO READ MORE POETRY, VISIT
POETRYFOUNDATION.ORG
135
Alan Beaman,
here with wife
Gretchen, served
13 years in prison
for a crime he
didnt commit.
The
Best Day
of My Life
AS TOLD TO LISA GOFF
The Day I Was Freed

from Prison A L A N B E A M A N
I was 22 years old when I was sent to prison
for murdering my former girlfriend Jenni-
fer Lockmiller. One problem: I didnt do it.
The only ones who believed me were my
parents and my lawyers from the Center
on Wrongful Convictions at Northwest-
ern University. They worked tirelessly on
my behalf, and in 2008, after I had been
in lockup for 13 years, they got the Illinois
Supreme Court to hear my appeal.
By all rights, I should have been ex-
cited. But I refused to let myself get car-
ried away. What was the point? Id already
lost ve challenges to my conviction. Five
times Id waited for a verdict, and ve
times Id been sent back to my cell.
But still, I was hopeful. I had to be. The
prosecutors pinned their case on the fact
that Jennifer and I had sometimes had
a volatile relationship. But I was never
physically violent. As for motive, they the State of Illinois. No matter how
insisted I was jealous of her other it winds up, theyll never take away
boyfriends, which, truth be told, I was. what happened on that day in May,
But my lawyers had an ace up their the day I reclaimed my life.
sleevesevidence left out of the rst
trial. Evidence that placed me 140 miles The Day I Sang with
away at the time of the murder. Bruce Springsteen
On the morning of May 22, 2008,
NICK FERRARO
the judges were ready to render their
decision. A prison guard led me out Singing onstage with Bruce Spring-
of my cell. As I walked down the hall, steen has been on the very top of
I was intercepted by my friend Ar- my bucket list since 1975, when I
mando. He looked more nervous than was a high school freshman. Grow-
me. I cant stand to hear you say you ing up in South Philly, we would
didnt win, he said. So afterward, cruise around in my buddy Berts
if you win, when you see me, dont Buick Skylark, blow out the eight-
say anythingjust jump up and click track, and go watch the races down
your heels. on Front Street. Hell, my life was a
I went to a barren room at the Springsteen song.
Dixon Correctional Center. Inside I had been doing gigs as an Elvis
was the warden. Minutes later, the impersonator since the late 1980s.
verdict was in. I had this idea that if I could wear
I walked back toward my cell in a one of my Elvis suits to a Springsteen
daze. Armando spotted me from the concert, Bruce might pull me up onto
dayroom. He searched my face for a the stage to sing an Elvis song. Every
Bruce looked at me and said, Okay,

King, come on up.
clue, but I just stared blankly ahead.
Soon my pace quickened, until I
time I went to one of his concerts, I
thought, Ill wear the suit this time!
was in a full sprint. I bent my knees But I always chickened out.
slightly and sprang into the air. And On October 19, 2009, I had tick-
after 13 years of abject hell I clicked ets for the show at the Spectrum in
those heels! Philadelphiathe same place Id seen
Im currently suing ve police of- my rst Springsteen concert in 1980.
cers and two prosecutors for con- Theres a lottery to get into the pit
spiring to frame me. And because I right up next to the stageand I got in.
wasnt declared innocent, only not The stars were starting to align.
guilty, Ive also led a petition seek- I showed up in my powder blue Elvis
ing a certicate of innocence from suitcomplete with capecarrying
Bruce Springsteen was all shook up
when Nick Ferraro tried to sing again.
The Day My Son
a sign that read Can the King Sing
Walked Again
CYNTHIA TEARE
with the Boss? When Bruce saw it,
he gave a little laugh and joked about The day your child takes his rst steps
it with the band. It was already the is always a special day. But when
greatest day of my life. Then the my son Connor started walking, we
band started playing All Shook Up, knew something was wrong. He was
and Bruce looked at me and said, 17 months old, and he walked on his
Okay, King, come on up. tiptoes. The pediatrician told me not
Suddenly Im face-to-face with to worry, but soon Connors muscles
Bruce and more than 18,000 scream- began to lose strength. At three he
ing fans. Bruce handed me the micro- showed signs of upper-body weakness,
phoneit was like hed handed me by ve he couldnt hold his head erect,
the keys to the E Street Bandand I and by the rst grade, hed gone from
gave it all I had. Well, its one for the walking with leg braces to needing a
money, two for the show! power wheelchair. It was heartrend-
After the song ended, I belted out ing. His mind was ne, but as the day
the first few lines of Blue Suede progressed, he tired and couldnt hold
COURTESY BRIAN FLYNN
Shoes, and Springsteen gave me a a pencil to write. Within two years, he

look that said, Okay, dude, youre would be too tired to feed himself.
done. I gave one last bow, ourish- Everyone was puzzledConnors
ing my cape. As I hopped down from symptoms didnt t into a tidy diag-
the stage, Bruce shouted, Elvis has nosis. Physically, his body was con-
left the building. torted, but he was cognitively perfect.
139
We ran tests and more tests to rule Shawn McCandless, a geneticist who
out things such as muscular dystro- took us seriously. That was gold for
phy. We got second, third, and fourth a mom, to be taken seriously. He
opinions, but no one could diagnose agreed that Connors symptoms had
him. Frustrated, I started doing my signs of dystonia, and a possible cure
own research. I had seen a magazine was L-dopa. But there was a catch
article in 2002, when Connor was a big one. During drug trials with
four, about a very rare genetic dis- adults, it was discovered that pos-
order called dystonia, and I couldnt sible side effects of the treatment
get it out of my mind. The children included heart arrhythmia and hal-
in the picture held their bodies just lucinations. No way was I putting my
like Connor. I showed the picture to six-year-old through that. But when
doctor after doctor, but they insisted Connors condition worsened, I had
dystonia is too rare, and he doesnt little choice.
have all the symptoms. For Connor to receive the L-dopa,
Finally, in 2004, we consulted Dr. it would need to be administered by a
Connor Teare can

now walk, run, and
shoot hoops.
neurologist. In 2006, we met with Dr.
Irwin Jacobs, who eventually agreed
The Day I Launched a
to give him the drug. If it worked, he
Man into Space
C H R I S T O P H E R C . K R A F T, J R .
said, we would know immediately.
Dr. Jacobs gave Connor the rst dose The best day of my life was May 5, 1961,
on June 21, 2007, when he was nine the day we launched the rst Ameri-
years old. The next morning, when I can into space. Alan Shepard was the
went in to wake him up, I found him astronaut. I was the ight director at
kneeling on his bedhe hadnt done Mission Control, NASAs rst. I sat at
that since he was a toddler. He shouted, the console and monitored commu-
Look at me, Mom! Connor was ex- nications with the astronaut and the
cited, but I was afraid to let myself technical crew. The safety of the mis-
believe the medication was working. sion was primarily my responsibility.
Over the next few days, Connor There were dark clouds above
kept getting stronger. He held his Cape Canaveral that day, and after the
upper body much straighter after liftoff was delayed several times, the
the first week. A few weeks later, weather cleared and the countdown
he furniture-walked, supporting proceeded. T minus three hours, T
himself on chairs and couches like a minus one hour, T minus ten minutes.
toddler does. He later walked holding We got to T minus two minutes. We
I could now believe the unbelievable:

The medicine was working.
both of my hands, then just one hand.
And on August 13, he walked across
had practiced this, what, hundreds of
times? But we had never gone beyond
my mothers living room by himself. T minus two minutes.
I could now believe the unbeliev- We had done everything we could
able: The medicine was working. The to ensure the safety of the astronaut,
child who had been too weak to feed but I knew that anything could hap-
himself dinner was walking. Since pen. Rockets were a dangerous thing
then, Connor has gone trick-or-treat- in 1961there was always the real
ing, swum laps, run cross-country, chance it would explode on the pad
and played on a basketball team. or in space. I pushed that fact out of
Connor turned 12 on May 9. Thats my mind and ran the checklist: Te-
his birthday, but we mark another lemetry? Radar? Range safety? Block-
anniversary. Every year on June 21, house? The ofcers all said, Go.
we celebrate Dopa Day with a cake After T minus two, you kept your
and presents. In essence, its Connors mouth shut unless you wanted to stop
second birthday, and it marks the the count. If anyone did, I would ip
best day of my life. the switch to ignite the escape hatch.
Im glad no one did because I was old woman row a 19-foot boat for 70
shaking so hard, I could barely see my straight days through high winds and
microphone in front of me. But when crashing waves? Well, the biggest
Shepard spoke those magic words, challenge for me wasnt physical. By
Roger, liftoff! it was like the rst the time I decided to do the ocean
kick in a football gameeverybody row, I had already biked 3,300 miles
was ready to play. cross-country, run across the Mojave
The whole ight lasted just 15 min- Desert, and swum the 325-mile length
utes and 28 seconds. It was a day of of the Allegheny River. No, the tough
glory, in retrospect, because every- part would be mental: How would I
thing went welljust like it was an- handle the loneliness, the boredom
other simulation. the sheer magnitudeof the open sea?
I feel as if I made a contribution I pushed off the coast of Senegal on
to my country on that day. On May January 3, 2010, ready to nd out. More
5, 1961, I represented America. Not than half the people who attempt a
NASA, or an astronaut, or myself ... but solo ocean row have to be rescued in
PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAMARA REYNOLDS

my country. Heck, where else outside the rst two weeks, so I set my sights
of a war can you get a feeling like that? on getting past the quarter-way mark,
which would take about 20 days.
The Day I Stopped Day 20, January 22, was gray and
Being Lonely overcast. I told myself I should do
something to celebrate, like crack
K AT I E S P OT Z
open a Snickers bar. Thats what
When people hear that Im the young- qualied as going wild in the middle
est person ever to row solo across of the Atlantic. But I didnt indulge.
the Atlantic Ocean, they all have the I was suffering from a terrible bout
same question: How did a 22-year- of the lonelies. I hadnt seen land
I saw something move. A dozen ns had
broken through the water near my boat.
Katie Spotz and
the boat she
called home for
70 days.
in over two weeks, and it had been ing water programs around the world.
one of those days when ten minutes I know some endurance athletes
seemed like ten hours. And every day spend the entire journey envision-
was beginning to feel much the same. ing the end, and that helps them get
Eating, rowing, sleeping. Repeat. Re- through. But for me, the secret is to
peat. Repeat. Watch the sky. Watch focus on the moment, where you ex-
the ocean. Repeat, repeat, repeat ... perience the awe that leads to per-
AAARRGGHHH! sonal growththose moments of
Then, around sunset, I saw some- awareness of being connected to the
thing move on the horizon. A dozen sun, the weather, the waves. And, on
ns had broken through the water the best day of my life, those dolphins.
near my boat. Sharks. I froze dead in
the water, carefully eyeballing them The Day I Ordered
as they came closer. And as they did,
I heard a blowing sound, like a soft
a Cup of Coffee
FRANKLIN MCCAIN
whistle. They werent sharks; they
were dolphins! They circled my boat On February 1, 1960, I met three of my
and were close enough to touch, so friends at the North Carolina A&T
I did. College library in Greensboro, and
Suddenly I felt so connected and together we walked the mile to Wool-
so grateful. The dolphins had come worths. I was wearing my ROTC uni-
along to help me celebrate, just when form because Id come straight from
I needed it the most. class. It was eerie, walking; nobody
I rowed at full strength for the next talked. For my part, I knew the day
20 minutes with the dolphins by my might end with me in a pine box.
side, jumping out of the water, doing At that time in the South, African
ips, and playing games with my boat. Americans werent allowed to eat
By the time we went our separate with whites. Woolworths had a sepa-
We sat down at the counter.

Immediately, every eye was on us.
ways, I was no longer lonely. Better
yet, I knew I would be okay, that I
rate lunch counter in the basement
for Negroes. My friends and I had
would make it all the way. agreed that we would sit down at the
And I did make it, all 2,817 miles. white lunch counter and ask to be
I hit the coast of Guyana, South served. And we did just that.
America, on March 14, after 70 days Immediately, there was a hushit
and ve hours at sea. My ocean row felt like a church in that Woolworths.
raised $70,000 for the Blue Planet Spoons stopped halfway to peoples
Run Foundation, which funds drink- mouths. Every eye was on us.
Franklin McCain (second from left) and sitting farther down the counter. She
friends took a seat and took a stand finished her doughnut and headed
against bigotry. straight for us. I braced myself for a
Again, we asked the waitress for blast of abuse. Instead, she put her
coffee and doughnuts, and she said, hands on our shoulders and said,
Im sorry, but I cant serve you. Boys, I am so proud of you. I only re-
Why not? gret that you didnt do this ten years
Its just a custom, she said. ago. That gave me added resolve to
And I asked, But youll agree that see it through.
the custom is wrong, wont you? We went back to that lunch counter
We had resolved to be very polite every day for six months until four
our goal was to embarrass people into African Americanslunch counter
doing right. So we sat there, waiting. employees of Woolworthswere
A policeman came in, and it was nally served a cup of coffee.
clear he was angry. His face was as Fifteen seconds after I sat down on
red as a beet. He stopped right be- that stool on that February day in 1960,
hind me; I could feel his hot breath I felt so relieved, so cleansed, so self-
on my neck as he stood over me. He accepting. It was the kind of feeling
JOHN G. MOEBES/NEWS & RECORD
pulled out his nightstick, and I said that holy people pray and chant for. It
to myself, This is it. But he just stood was the feeling of freedom that people
there for a minute, then backed away live a lifetime seeking. I wouldnt have
and started pacing up and down. It felt cheated if I had died right then
dawned on me: He didnt know what and there. I was invincible. And Ive
to do. Thats when I thought, This never felt better in my life.
could workwe could win this.
IPAD EXTRA To watch Best Day of My Life
There was a little old white lady videos, download the Readers Digest
who must have been 200 years old magazine app from the iTunes store.
145
The R undup
WHEN CAN
YOU RETIRE?
( Hows Never? Does
Never Work for You?
What everyone has been saying lately online,
)
in print, on TV, and everywhere else about retirement.
Are your golden years suddenly looking less golden
and a lot farther o? B Y C H R I S R A Y M O N D
IN A NUTSHELL But is Social Security shuing workers

By 2037, all the o to shueboard too early? Isnt 62
Social Security supposed to be the new 42?
reserves will have Social Security has morphed into a middle-age
been drained and the retirement system. It denes people as old
income owing into eligible for Old-Age Insurancewhen they are
the program will be 62. When this benet was rst made available
enough to pay only some 70 years ago, people couldnt get it until
75 percent of sched- they were 65, and on average they retired
uled benets. If that at age 68 (compared with about 64 today).
sounds tolerable, If Americans were to retire for the same num-
consider that two ber of years today as they did then, on average
thirds of seniors rely they would work until about age 75 Instead,
on Social Security as most draw benets for about a decade more
their main source of than they did when the system was rst
income. The average establishednow approaching one third of
annual benet is their adult lives. One or another partner in a
$14,000. couple retiring at age 62 today will probably
Wa sh i n g t on P ost draw benets for about 26 years!
editorial Eugene Steuerle, San Francisco Chronicle

OF MIKE LUCKOVICH AND CREATORS SYNDICATE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
MIKE LUCKOVICH EDITORIAL CARTOON USED WITH THE PERMISSION
Whoever did the math for this has some splainin to do.
The average life expectancy was only 63 years
when Social Security was rst created, and
there were 40 workers supporting each retiree.
We now have about 3.1 workers for each retiree.
And by the time I reach my mid-60s, there will
be about two workers supporting meand I
dont think theyre going to want to do that.
K e n D ychtwald, gerontologist, psychologist, author, New York Times
Admittedly, that little economic downturn hasnt helped things.

Nearly eight in ten small-business owners prior to the recession in 2007
thought they would have enough money to live comfortably when they
retire. By 2010, fewer than two in three felt that way.
D e nnis Ja c obe, gallup.com
147
The R undup
Fixing the decit will mean xing
Social Security. And any way you
look at it, this is going to cost you.
Our looming debt crisis is mostly
a looming entitlement crisis. And
our looming entitlement crisis is a
looming retirement crisis. But the
worry is not merely that 80 million
baby boomers will phase into
retirement over the next ten or 15
years. The worry is also that Ameri-
cans today spend twice as many
years in retirement [as] in 1970.
D er e k T h om p so n , theatlantic.com
And the idea didnt go over
well in France either.
la retraite enn! (Retired
Some people say that we should at last!) Sign at a protest in France
suck it up and stop being selsh
21st-century sissies
Perhaps the best evidence that
future Americans can work lon- But the idea of working longer
has not gone over well here.
ger is that past Americans did:
The chairmen of the decit
Despite poorer health, shorter
commission [who suggested
lives, and more strenuous jobs,
raising the retirement age and
in 1950, the typical individual
cutting some benets] just
did not claim Social Security
told working Americans to
until age 68.5. A n d r ew G . Biggs ,
resident scholar, American Enterprise drop dead.
Institute, Los Angeles Times AFL-CIO president Ric h a rd Trumk a
MIGUEL MEDINA/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
and they say we should be thankful were alive at all.

We will all have to work longer, but thanks to our
extended life spans, that is true only if measured
in absolute years, not as a fraction of our lives.
In any case, it seems a very small price to pay for
the extra decades of healthy life granted to us by
modern society. Pete r Bal d w in, New York Times

Though postponing the retirement age does have fans on the football eld.
The federal decit commission is proposing raising the retirement age to 69.
In other words, they want Brett Favre to play two more years. Cona n OBrien
Some people just want to punch out Whatever Congress

and never punch back in, even if their decides to do, that
nances arent exactly in order. money you set aside
Fifty-six percent of retirees had out- because you saw this
mess coming? You may
standing debts when they left the work- be penalized for saving it.
force, and 96 percent refused to delay We need to look at the
retirement because of the outstanding American people and
debt. In addition, 59 percent had saved explain to them that
less than $50,000 toward retirement. were broke. If you have
Survey, nonprot CESI Debt Solutions
substantial nonSocial
Security income while
youre retired, why are we
But the conscientious among us paying you at a time when
have other ideas. were broke? We just need
to be honest with people.
Forty percent of U.S. work- ThenHouse Minority Leader
ers say they will postpone Jo hn Boeh ner, in Pittsburgh
Tribune-Review
their retirement because
theyre worried about their
decimated savings and ris-
ing health-care costs. Sixty- Retirement plan? Youve
eight percent of the workers got to be kidding. My
company makes us pay
50 and older who plan to for coee stirrers.
delay their retirement cited The percentage of workers
the need to maintain their expecting to receive income
from a dened benet (or
health-care coverage as traditional pension) plan has
a major reason. Fifty-six fallen from 62 percent as re-
percent also blamed the cently as 2005 to 56 percent
decline in the value of the in 2010, according to the
Employee Benet Research
retirement plan sponsored Institutes 2010 Retirement
by their employer. Condence Survey.
Survey by professional-services Mark Miller, Fiscal Times
company Towers Watson
149
The R undup Meanwhile, will
the rich just get
And some of the folks on the other side richer (and older)?
of the aisle in Congress agree. [One proposal for
Throughout most of our nations Social Security reform
reduces] future
history, people were expected to payments to high
work regardless of their age. Only earners while
over the past several decades has increasing them for
that changed. Now it is assumed, people at the bottom
even if you are completely able- [And that] would
bodied and able-minded, you also help to oset a
dont need to work, and indeed little-noticed trend:
Auent Americans
you shouldnt be required to do are increasingly living
so if you reach a certain age and longer than others.
certain number of years at one Peter Orsza g,
job. But that is crazy. We cant former director of the
White House Oce of
aord it. J o h n F eehe r y , onetime staer for Management and Budget,
former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, cnn.com New York Times
STEVE KELLEY EDITORIAL CARTOON USED WITH THE PERMISSION OF STEVE

KELLEY AND CREATORS SYNDICATE. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Why not try to x unemployment and Social Security in one fell swoop?
[University of Texas economist James] Galbraiths priority is jobs for
younger people who desperately want to work, made possible by retire-
ment for older people who dont: People who have good reason not to
be in the labor force should be allowed to get out ... gracefully.
D an Froomk in, Hungton Post
Heres an idea: More In any case, our work spaces are going to
taxpayers would look a little dierent.
mean more revenue The person who invents the cubicle where
for benets. How you can discreetly hang your walker where
about encouraging
more babies and it doesnt trip anybodythat person will be
immigrants? very popular with the baby boomers. Whos
One option might be gonna be able to retire at 65? Thats only
to generate a second seven years away. Not me. Ill be working until
baby boom so that by I die. Ma rguerite DiGa eta no,
unemployed 58-year-old, on Hungton Post
the time 2050 rolls
around, there are
more workers to sup-
port the pensioners
Another option is America could just do what it always does:
Postpone the decision, dig a deeper hole,
immigration. Opening hunker down, and wait again for the prob-
the borders would lem to somehow magically solve itself
increase the labor while the decit gets bigger.
force, creating more The [latest] compromise would
taxpayers and more decrease Social Security payroll
potential [caregivers]
(in hospitals and
taxes to 4.2 percent from 6.2
nursing homes) to percent for two years ... A worker
look after the elderly. earning $50,000 would save
Immigrants also $1,000. Anyone earning above
tend to have more the current $106,800 wage cap
children. Buttonwood, would save $2,136. USA Tod a y
The Economist
But there is a simpler answer.

Be part of a small generation. Then you need to give birth to a large generation, so
when you are in your 70s and they are in their 40s and 50s, theyll be [generating]
enormous amounts of taxes. Ken Dychtwald, New York Times
151
Look >>
SEE THE WORLD
DIFFERENTLY
152
<< Twice
One of the largest groups of pastoral people in Africa,
the Dinka believe their cattle are links to the spiritual world.
Their loving care of the animals includes meticulously
training the curve of the horns.
For the book Dinka: Legendary Cattle Keepers of
Sudan, photographers Carol Beckwith and Angela Fisher
traveled to one of the remotest parts of the continentthe
inland delta of the Nile, where during the dry season, the
herders set up cattle camps. At sunset, when this image was
shot, the only sounds were those of the cattle and cowbells.
IMAGES FROM DINKA: LEGENDARY CATTLE KEEPERS OF SUDAN,
ANGELA FISHER AND CAROL BECKWITH (RIZZOLI, $75)
155
Worried
i
Sick :(
THAT LITTLE MOLE, PERSISTENT COUGH, OR NASTY

ITCH MUST BE A SIGN OF A RARE AND FATAL DISEASE,
RIGHT? OUR RESIDENT M.D. AND HIS ASSISTANT
ARE HERE TO SOOTHE YOUR FEVERED BROW.
B Y M A R K L E Y N E R & B I L LY G O L D B E R G , M . D .
T
heres a venerable Chinese proverb that says Give a man a sh
and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to sh and you feed
him for a lifetime. The hypochondriacs version is Give a man
a symptom and hell worry for a day. Give him access to Google
and hell torture himself for a lifetime. If youve been spending a little too
much time onlineand way too much time in abject terrorIm here to
help, with assistance from my literary (and medically savvy) scrub nurse,
Mark Leyner. Ive been an ER doctor for almost 20 years, and Ive treated
everything from leprosy to lumbago. Ive seen innocent freckles that turned
out to be deadly skin cancers and many more that were just innocent freck-
les. My job is to nd out which camp youre in. Got an itch, rash, cough,
or funny sound that keeps you up at night? Tell me all about it.
DEAR DR. BILLY, burst in the lubricating uid sur-
I hear this weird popping sound rounding the joint. Some people
when I move my right wrist in a even get a kick out of making this
certain way. Sometimes I feel it too. sound by cracking their knuckles,
Im 16, so its not early arthritis or which, by the way, is not a particu-
some other serious condition is it? larly bad thing to do. Taken to ex-
cess, knuckle cracking may cause
Dont worryyoure not turning minor damage, including stretching
into bubble wrap. Its perfectly of the surrounding ligaments, which
normal for your joints to make can cause a decrease in grip strength.
a popping sound. The noise is But many parents are convinced it
produced when little bubbles will lead to arthritis, and its just not
ILLUSTRATED BY JOHN CUNEO 157
so. Wrist popping, although it Tell your brother-in-law to get
has never achieved the widespread his own affairs in order. Its most
popularity of knuckle cracking, is likely that your hand itches because
probably equally innocuous. Look its dry; maybe you also exposed it
at it this way: Next time youre in to something that youre slightly
your amenco class, youll be the allergic to or that irritated your skin.
one who doesnt need castanets. Youre fatigued because you worked
all day in your garden. Your muscles
DEAR DR. BILLY, ache because youre not used to be-
I spent a happy Sunday afternoon ing hunched over a hoe for 12 hours.
in my garden pruning my rosebushes Even if your hand is red and swollen
and mulching my ower beds. That and oozing pus and you have a fever,
night, I began to experience a weird theres a good possibility you have a
itching on my hand. I also felt simple infection that an antibiotic
extremely fatigued, with back pain
and aching calf muscles. I called
my brother-in-law (an insomniac
amateur infectious-disease
specialist and general know-it-
all). I could hear him typing
away on his laptop, and within
a minute or two, he grimly
announced, Youve
got sporotrichosis.
Youd better get
your affairs
in order.

will easily cure. Call your brother- are innumerable possible reasons
in-law backpreferably right after for your headaches, but least likely
he falls asleepand inform him that among them is a brain tumor. A
sporotrichosis, an infection caused better bet: Youre suffering from
by a fungus that grows on plants, stress, tension, allergies, sinus in-
occurs in just one or two people per fections, or teeth grinding. Or you
million in the United States. And might just need a new prescription
even in the unlikely event that youre for your glasses or contact lenses.
the one in a million, the infection So how do you tell a simple head-
is easily treated with an antifungal ache from a dangerous one? In the
medication. I recommend gardening ER, there are a few questions we
gloves and a moratorium on ask when someone comes in with a
late-night calls to
THERE ARE COUNTLESS

Dr. Doom.
DEAR DR. BILLY, POSSIBLE REASONS FOR A

For the past two HEADACHE. LEAST LIKELY
months, Ive been
having headaches in
AMONG THEM: A BRAIN TUMOR.
the front of my head
basically in my temples, sometimes headache: Was it a sudden onset
right, sometimes left. Ive tried aspi- of the worst headache of your
rin, Tylenol, Advil, cold compresses. life? (Makes us think of a ruptured
Nothing works. So now Im convinced aneurysm.) Do you have a fever
I have terminal brain cancer. Ive and a stiff neck? (Makes us think
started working on my will when the of meningitis.) Is your headache
pain lets up (which makes my new consistent but worse in the morning
boyfriend irate because I havent left and accompanied by vomiting,
him my red Miata convertible). I seizures, visual changes, or weak-
spend most of my free time on the ness in your limbs? (Makes us think
Web, reading about gliomas and it could be a brain tumorbut even
blastomas and ordering movies from then, the odds are against it.)
Netix about people with brain If you have any of those more
tumors. Help! serious warning signs, see your
doctor, who may suggest that you
You like movies? Skip Dark Victory, consult a neurologist. In any case,
and rent Kindergarten Cop. Then try to relax, since stress about your
imagine the Teutonic tones of the headache is probably adding to
movies Detective John Kimble, it. And ditch the guy who seems to
aka the ex-governor of California, covet your Miata more than he
telling you, Its not a tumor! There covets you.
159
DEAR DR. BILLY,
Lately my ear canals have
been very itchy. Theres also
a slight discharge that is
clear and watery and
sometimes a little
sticky. I have
come to the
conclusion
that its a
food allergy,
but I havent
been able to
pinpoint
which food.
The reason you havent

been able to identify the
offending food is that this
is most likely not a food
allergy. Although you
wouldnt know it
from the enormous
amount of airtime
health-oriented talk
shows devote to the
subject, serious food allergies are food allergy, whats the problem? Id
not very common. According to put my money on an outer ear infec-
a report recently published in the tion, or, to be fancy, otitis externa.
Journal of the American Medical Thats an inammation or infection
Association, while nearly three out of the external auditory canalthe
of ten people think they have food tube that runs from the outer ear to
allergies, less than 5 percent of the middle ear. The condition is also
adults and 8 percent of kids actually known as swimmers ear because
do. In fact, researchers who exam- its most common in people who are
ined more than 12,000 studies found regularly submerged in water. If
that when the right test was used, whats coming out of your ear is
even people who had gotten a doc- slightly yellow and youre in pain,
tors diagnosis had a less than fty- then its probably an infection and
fty chance of being truly allergic. you should pay a visit to your physi-
If your waxy buildup isnt from a cian to get antibiotic drops.
The other possibility is that you Although its difcult to diagnose
just have some excess earwax. But anything without seeing it, you may
dont go reaching for a Q-tipthats be absolutely correct in the rst
an appropriate cleaning implement part of your diagnosis. Lipomas are
for the outer ear only. The ear is benign tumors composed of mature
a self-cleaning oven and usually fat cells. They tend to be painless
produces the right amount of wax and soft to the touch, and they move
necessary for its own protection. a little when you press on them.
(Let us wax poetic for a moment Theyre the most common noncan-
about earwax, or cerumen, as its cerous tumor in all adults, striking
known in the biz: Its made up of 1 percent of the population. Theyre
keratin, the same substance found seen mostly in women (and known
in ngernails and
THE EAR IS A SELF-CLEANING

hair, along with fatty
secretionsa mix
that guards the ear OVEN AND USUALLY MAKES
canal against water THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF WAX
and infection.) Cotton-
tipped swabs tend to
FOR ITS OWN PROTECTION.
pack the wax in and
can cause pain or even a perforated to run in families), so its not
eardrum. If your ears are impacted surprising that you and your mom
with waxyoull know it if you can and your friends share this lumpy
barely hearyou need to break up afiction.
the plug. You can try this at home Usually you dont need to do
with over-the-counter products, anything about lipomas unless
but if a solid nugget has formed, you they become bothersome. Then
are going to need a pro to do the the treatment is simple surgical
excavating. Call your doctor. removal.
Now for your chicken theory.
DEAR DR. BILLY, There are many concerns about how
Since we moved to Florida in 2002, environmental hormones might be
my mom, my sister, and I have devel- affecting our health, but hormones
oped bumps on our backs. (I checked are not used in chicken production.
online, and they look like lipomas.) So you, your mom, and your sister
Recently I found out that my friend, can feel comfortable about keeping
who lives nearby, also has one on her this item on the menu. (Id probably
back. And a friend of hers, who has stay away from the KFC Original
one too, consulted her doctor, who Recipe Double Down Sandwich. It
said they come from all the hormones wont give you a new lipoma, but it
added to the chicken we eat. might pack on the pounds.)
161
DEAR DR. BILLY, dont have a family history of the
Recently I started to notice a tingling disease, the odds of your having
in my left hand. Its worse when I MS are really quite small. Ditto for
wake up in the morning, but its been things like spinal tumors and steno-
three days, and its still there. I looked sis. Do you sleep with your hand
it up online, and now Im sure I have under the pillow? Squashing it that
a benign spinal tumor or lumbar way could be disrupting blood ow.
spinal stenosis, or maybe Ive had a Are your symptoms associated with
stroke. The Mayo Clinic website says any repetitive movements, like typ-
tingling in parts of the body is a sign ing on a keyboard and looking up
of multiple sclerosis. What do I do disease symptoms all day? Carpal
next? There are 930,000 more Google tunnel syndrome is a much more
hits for tingling ngers, and I dont likely culprit in that case. Is your
think I have that much time left. wristwatch too tight? Even that
could cause needles and pins. Relax.
The rst thing to realize is that MS is one of the hypochondriacs
multiple sclerosis affects one in worst enemies. Its symptoms can be
750 people worldwide. So if you vague and tend to be things we all
experience from time to time. If produce volatile sulfur compounds
the tingling persists for more than (such as methyl mercaptan and
a week, or if its accompanied by dimethyl sulde) that can make
double vision, a tremor, or weakness your breath smell bad. Its not
in the limbs, or if the symptoms get known how common tonsil stones
worse when your body temperature are, because most people swallow
goes upsay, when you take a them without ever noticing. Brush
hot bathyour doctor may want your teeth, gargle, and avoid eating
you to see a neurologist. But youre right before bed, and youll be less
probably ne. likely to get them.
So my advice to you is twofold:
DEAR DR. BILLY, Stop worrying about those gross
Im embarrassed to little balls, and never
even write about this feel ashamed about
because its a little
gross. I keep coughing Really talking to someone
(especially your
up these stinky little
white things. They
look like corn kernels
Sick doctor) about your
health. Were all
human, and we
THE TEN MOST
but smell like toe jam. COMMON produce an astonish-
Help! What are these SYMPTOMS ing variety of smelly,
white smelly clumps THAT SEND disgusting, and mys-
in the back of my PEOPLE TO THE terious secretions.
throat? EMERGENCY Heres another rule
ROOM of thumb: If youre ex-
Your malodorous 1) Abdominal pain, periencing new symp-
mouth balls are called cramps, spasms toms, sure, go online
tonsilloliths, or tonsil 2) Chest pain and do a little amateur
stones. These hard 3) Fever medical sleuthing. But
lumps are formed in dont let all that infor-
4) Headache
the nooks and crannies mation whip you into
of the tonsils and 5) Back pain a frenzy of unbridled
contain food particles, 6) Shortness of anxiety. If youre wor-
breath
calcium and magne- ried, see your doctor
sium salts, bacteria, 7) Cough and have a frank, open
and sometimes small 8) Vomiting conversation. Thats
amounts of keratin 9) Pain in general the most efcient way
(you remember 10) Throat problems to calm yourself down
keratin, found in Sources: National Hospital and treat what ails
ngernails, hair, and Ambulatory Medical Care youeven if its all in
Survey, 2006; National Center
earwax). The bacteria for Health Statistics, 2008. your head.
163
Freedom to Worship Freedom of Speech
The
Freedoms
That Make Us
GreatAmid war and economic tumult,

its easy to ignore the fact that we have
more to oer the world than ever

Freedom from Want Freedom from Fear
Americans arent strangers to tough (along with four essays) in a Saturday

times. Consider 1941: The world was Evening Post series called The Four
clawing its way out of the Great De- Freedoms for Which We Fight. (The
pression only to come face-to-face paintings, made into posters, raised
with a troika of dictators hell-bent $132 million for the war effort.)
CURTIS LICENSING INDIANAPOLIS, IN. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
(FOUR FREEDOM ILLUSTRATIONS) 1943 SEPS LICENSED BY
on world domination. Evil and un- Today we face the Great Recession
certainty bred fear and pessimism. instead of the Great Depression, reli-
But we pulled together, motivated gious terrorismand an anti-Islamic
by the ideals we hold most dear. In backlashinstead of Nazism, and a
his State of the Union address that polarized political atmosphere that
year, President Franklin Roosevelt threatens to give free speech a bad
famously summed up the stakes in name. But while our problems are se-
the looming conflict: freedom of rious, they are hardly insurmountable,
speech and expression freedom of especially if we summon the unity of
every person to worship God in his purpose that has always been our
own way freedom from want and strength. Over the next four issues,
freedom from fear. well revisit the freedoms through
The four freedoms speech so the voices and visions of four remark-
inspired painter Norman Rockwell able American citizens. Their stories
that he created four iconic paint- are moving, challenging, andwe
ings on the theme, later reproduced hopeworth reading and sharing.
165
Daisy Khan,
New York City,
2010.
Freedom
to
Worship
The woman at the center of the
Ground Zero mosque controversy
calls America the worlds beacon
of religious freedomand implores
us to keep it that way
A
s executive director of the American Society
for Muslim Advancement, Daisy Khan has
led prayers in town squares, worked on be-
half of women in the Islamic world, and sat
on countless interfaith panels. But chances
are, if youve heard of her, thats not why. After Khan, along
with her husband, Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, proposed build-
ing a community center and worship space two blocks from
Ground Zero in downtown Manhattannot far from where
they have held prayer services for yearsthey found them-
selves at the center of a restorm in which they were likened
to terrorists. When author Katherine Lanpher caught up with
Khan at the Interfaith Center of New York (where she now
has a security buzzer on the door), Khan had just returned
from a multireligious conference in Doha, Qatar, and a Muslim
feminist conference in Madrid. But in a life seemingly designed
for global travel, Khan is rm about where she wants to be:
here, in America, with the freedom to worship as she pleases.
PHOTOGRAPHED BY WILLIAM COUPON 167
I
AS TOLD TO fullling Gods mandate much more
K ATHERINE L ANPHER powerfully than if we try to convert
others to our point of view.
grew up in a place called America is the one place where you
Paradise on Earth, in the can say that religious freedom truly
foot hills of the Himalayas does exist. This country was founded
in Kashmir, Indiathe most by people who were eeing religious
pristine place on earth. My persecutionso religious freedom is
paternal grandfather was a the most essential foundational value
religious scholar who be- of America. This is why it is so dear
lieved that under Islam, education is a and why we must preserve it. Here
right that has to be given to both boys I, as a Muslim, can fully practice my
and girls. My maternal grandmother faith. I face no coercion. I can establish
was also a religious scholar and a a place of worship, and I can practice
spiritual leader at a time when you my faith in its fullest formor not.
barely saw women in those roles. She This is what makes America unique.
looms larger in my life as I get older. Muslims from all over the world
I was sent to St. Patricks Convent come here and make this proclama-
School and said the Lords Prayer ev- tion, that America is the most Islamic
ery morning. The school was run by country in the world because America
Catholic nuns, but many of the teach- lives up to this ideal that God has cre-
ers were Hindu. My best friend was ated different religions. Plus the fact
Sikh, and we used to buy freshwater that all men are created equal and no
pearls from the Buddhists who came one religion may dominate is so much
from Tibet. We were never taught a part of the Islamic ethos. In the the-
stereotyping. We were always taught ology of Islam, God clearly says, I have
to respect and show regard for oth- created you into nations and tribes so
ers religions. you can get to know each other.
At 16, I came to America and landed However, many Muslim societies
in a Jewish neighborhood: Jericho, do not practice pluralism; they do
Long Island, where I lived for the next not treat minorities the way they
seven years. So by the time I was in my should, with equal rights. In Afghani-
mid-20s, my religious education was stan, for example, you see so much
complete. I believe that if we show intolerance, not only of people of
respect for one anothers religion and other religions but also within the
dont profess superiority, we will be religious sects. This is fundamentally
We Muslims are currently going through the

struggle to be accepted as equals. The reality
is that Islam is an American religion.
un-Islamic. Islam has always cele-
brated the diversity that exists within Proposed design
for the Park51
Muslim thought as well as diversity
Community Center
among religions. in Manhattan.
That ideal is living and breathing in
America because we have an Islamic
community here that is extremely di-
verse. In any given mosque, you can
have Shia and Sunni praying side by
side. You can have the different in-
terpretations of the various schools
of Islamic thought all in one mosque,
showing tolerance and respect. How
we evolve as a Muslim community
will be a model for other nations that
are struggling with extreme diversity.
Yet even though I say we have all
these freedomsthe freedom to prac-
tice religion without coercion, the
freedom to ourish as a religious com-
munityjournalists from overseas
are surprised that a center that is sup-
posed to be multifaith and tolerant is
being rejected by Americans. A lot of
people, especially from Europe, who
interview me, say, Wow, look at you.
You guys cant even build a center.
I tell people that we all fall short
of ideals. I remind people that Mus-
lims have done this: They fall short of
their ideals. And I tell them that we
have to be patient. The Catholics had
a very difcult time; the Jews could
not erect their synagogues. Peter
Stuyvesant, the Dutch governor of
New Amsterdam (before it became
New York), didnt allow a synagogue
COURTESY SOMA
to be erected in Manhattan. It took an

act of Congress to have a synagogue
established in Washington. We Mus-
lims are currently going through the
169
A Muslim American
woman at a New York
City rally in support
of religious freedom,
September 10, 2010.
struggle to be accepted as equals in out of the neighborhoodout of our

this country. The reality is that Islam own neighborhood, where weve al-
is an American religion. We, too, will ready been for 27 years.
O
be accepted, and American ideals will
prevail. Im condent of that because ur organizations founda-
they always have in the past, and they tions were built on bridge
have to if America is going to remain building. Our nation was
a vibrant nation. wounded as a result of
Some Muslims have said this is our 9/11, and so we thought, What better
Rosa Parks moment. Just like Rosa way for us to heal this wound than
Parks was asked to move from the by proposing a project that would
front of the bus to the back, people bring not only peace, tolerance, and
are saying Muslims shouldnt be al- understanding but also much-needed
SPENCER PLATT/GETTY IMAGES
lowed to build their mosque here, to healing? Let this be an open house
move it over there. One can never to create community cohesion, and
make these comparisons accurately, let Muslims lead this effort. Let us
because the historical references are bear the nancial brunt because we,
different, but you know when youre too, want to be part of the rebuild-
being marginalized. You know when ing. Three community board meet-
youre being pushed away; you know ings where we presented this plan
when youre being told, Just move were unanimously in favor. Then we
This is a time when we have to create a
separation between extremes of all religions
and moderates of all religions.
discovered that there was organized Jones [the Florida pastor who threat-
opposition, and this organized oppo- ened to burn the Koran] and how the
sition was co-opted by politicians in evangelical community stepped in
an election cycle, and we were used and said, You will not do this in the
as a political football. name of Christianity. They attenu-
People have accused us of being ated what could have been a disas-
insensitive and not considering the trous situation all over the world. Its
feelings of 9/11 victims. They ignore a testament to how this is a moment
the fact that this tragedy devastated right for change. Faith communities,
us all and that it was our tragedy as different people of different religions,
well. They seem to be operating from are recognizing that were all in this
the I, thou polarity: You are differ- together, and that this is the time
ent from me and I dont see myself in when we have to create a separation
you, so Im American and youre not. between extremes of all religions and
This is hurtful. moderates of all religions. Its not Is-
I was recently meeting with some lamic extremists versus the world;
rabbis at the Jewish Theological Semi- its really extremists of all religions
nary, and they were telling me, Please versus the moderates of all religions.
dont give up. Your struggle is the From the Islamic perspective, free-
struggle of all of us right now. You dom to worship is part of the divine
must continue to ght because youre plan. The Su poet Rumi has a very
also ghting for others who will come beautiful poem. He says that God is
after you, other minority groups that like an ocean, and religions are like
will be marginalized. rivers that all flow into the same
This whole crisis has brought peo- ocean. Our origins are the same, and
ple of different faiths together as al- our destinations are the same; it is our
lies. You saw what happened to Terry paths that sometimes differ.
FEAST OR FAMILY
During the holidays, my daughter-in-law Heather called to ask me for a
fruitcake recipe. As I looked it up, she mentioned that she had told some
friends about the cakes she was making, and one of them asked her
how she learned to make them. Easy, Heather told her. I called my
mother-in-law. Shes the queen of fruitcakes! Pam Northcott
171
Quick S udy
Crime Scene Science
BY LISA GOFF
Fingerprints, blood spatter, bullet matching: Its the

sexiest stu on TV, but does this kind of evidence
convict criminals in the real world?
Flash Points
Science or guesswork? Crime scene Incompetence and fraud The police
evidence, from blood spatter to ballistics, crime lab in San Francisco was shut down
is now being challenged in court, thanks to last year after scandals involving stolen
a 2009 report from the National Academy evidence. Earlier reports of foul-ups
of Sciences, which found fault with and falsied evidence have rocked
everything from its standards to its very police labs in Detroit, Houston,
existence. In March 2010, a U.S. District Nebraska, North Carolina, New York,
Court judge in Boston directed defense and West Virginia. According to the
attorneys to routinely contest bullet Innocence Project, more than half of the
identication, handwriting analysis, and 261 convicts exonerated by DNA tests
other trace-evidence techniques beloved since 1989 were convicted at least in part
by prosecutors. Even that bedrock of because of unvalidated or improper
forensics, ngerprints, is under re. forensic science.
The CSI eect The science may be Privacy For as long as DNA has been
suspect, but TV-trained juries demand used to link criminals to crime scenes,
it. Prosecutors are now more likely to privacy advocates have warned of a
order tests for blood, semen, and other slippery slope that will turn all Americans
substances in anticipation of jurors into suspects-in-waiting. With improved
questions. Calling negative evidence software, investigators can validate
witnesses, who can attest to the absence close, as well as exact, matches to DNA
of trace evidence at the crime scene, has evidence found at crime scenes. Such
become common in many courtrooms. partial matches naturally lead the police
As a result, some say, trials are getting to a criminals DNA-sharing relatives in
longer (and more expensive), and crime the database, creating an ever larger
labs are falling behind. pool of suspects.
FINGERPRINTS
Last year 285,000
fugitives were ngered
by prints, but in one
study, experts looked
again and changed
their mindsin one
out of four cases.
SHOEPRINTS
Theres a database
of 25,000 soles, but
the search is manual,
and the results are
BLOODSTAIN subjective and easily
PATTERNS
challenged in court.
Spray or spatter?
Impact angles? Some
aspects of analysis
are backed by stud-
ies, but experts tend
to go beyond what
science supports.
BALLISTICS DNA
Its sure-shot proof The FBIs 6.7 million
on TV, but in 2008, proles aided 80,000
a major urban crime investigations in 2009,
lab was shut after but DNA is not foolproof.
an audit found a In West Virginia, ten
10 percent error rate convictions were over-
in ballistic evidence. turned due to lab fraud.
ILLUSTRATED BY DANIEL ZALKUS
Quick S udy
PhotoDNA The nonprot National
Forward Thinking Center for Missing & Exploited Children
Personal bacteria Bacteria may one analyzes 250,000 images of child pornog-
day join DNA as credible proof of who raphy every week. With technology called
touched an object. A March 2010 study PhotoDNA, computer forensic technicians
from the University of Colorado at Boulder can pinpoint similarities that amount to
linked bacteria swabbed from computer a digital signature (known as a hash) and
keyboards to the ngertips of computer use that to identify groups of images
users. Each users collection of bacteria, created by the same personeven if the
researchers found, has a unique genetic images have been resized or edited. Online
prole, making it scientically sound and service providers can use PhotoDNA to
potentially reliable evidence. trace and remove child pornography on
their sites, and law enforcement can use
Morphometrics Researchers at it to track child pornographers.
North Carolina State University have
discovered that childrens faces attain Tattoo matching Approximately 36 per-
the shapes they will have in adulthood cent of people between 18 and 25 have at
much earlier than previously thought, least one tattoo, and the rate is much
a nding that will help forensic experts higher among criminals and gang mem-
identify the skeletal remains of children bers. Using complex mathematical algo-
younger than 18. The technique, geomet- rithms, biometric scientists from Michigan
ric morphometrics, uses computer- State University have
modeling software to identify developed soft-
craniofacial characteristics, a project ware that can
that formerly relied on calipers. identify even
THE TIME LINE

1813 / Mathieu Bonaven- the rst classication
ture Orla, father of mod- of ngerprints.
ern toxicology, publishes 1894 / Alfred Dreyfus
his treatise on poisons. of France is convicted
1835 / Scotland Yard uses of treason, based on of evidence collection and
bullet comparison to catch mistaken handwriting the concept of trace
(BULLET) CASPAR BENSON/CORBIS
a murderer. identication. evidence.

1836 / British 1901 / Karl Landsteiner, 1935 / Forensic patholo-
chemist James an Austrian pathologist, de- gists in England use super-
Marsh publishes velops a modern system of imposed photographs to
his method of blood group classication. identify victims of a killer
detecting arsenic 1910 / Edmond Locard, who dismembered and
in corpses. director of the rst police scattered the bodies.
1892 / Sir Francis laboratory, in Lyon, 1976 / Television debut
Galton publishes France, establishes rules of Quincy, M.E., with Jack
a blurry image on a security camera, using
color, texture, and shapemuch more
The Back-and-Forth
ecient than searching tattoo databases
using keywords or labels. uniquely
Forensic evidence is not
immune from the
Bee sleuths Bees have a keen sense
of smell, reputedly as developed as any
snier dogs. But bees have had to be indi-
risk of manipulation.

Justic e A ntonin Sc a l ia ,
Melendez-Diaz v. Massachusetts, June 25, 2009
vidually hand-trained. Scientists in the
United Kingdom have developed a hotel
that trains large groups of the insects to
recognize specic smellsof bombs and
around
Fingerprints have been
for over one hundred
drugs, for example. Trained bees stick out years, and theyre going to
their tiny tongues when they catch a scent. continue to be around for
CSI 2020 A portable device for detect-
ing chemicals emitted by decomposing
the next hundred years.

D w igh t A d a ms, Ph D, director,
University of Central Oklahoma Forensic Science Insti-
tute, former head of FBI Laboratory, Quantico, Virginia
bodies is under development at Penn
State University. The device would help
locate buried corpses or allow investiga-
tors to estimate the time of death on-site
rather than wait for a coroners report.
usDNA exonerations show
how the criminal justice
Among the chemicals the device would system is awed and how
detect: the aptly named putrescine
and cadaverine.
it can be xed.

Pe te r Ne u fel d , codirector, Innocence Project
Klugman as a Los Angeles 2000 / TV debut of CSI.

medical examiner. 2001 / After serving 13
(LANDSTEINER) BETTMANN/CORBIS; (DNA) CORBIS
1986 / DNA evidence is used years for rape and murder,

for the rst time in connec- Calvin Washington of Texas
tion with a crime in the U.K. is exonerated by DNA
evidence and freed.
1987 / DNA proling
introduced in a U.S. court. 2005 / FBI abandons use
of bullet-lead analysis, a
1989 / First criminal convic- technique used after the
tion overturned on the basis assassination of John F.
of DNA evidence. Kennedy.
1998 / FBIs DNA database 2009 / National Academy
goes fully operational, of Sciences reports serious
including DNA from state deciencies in the nations
and local law enforcement. crime labs.
Recommend
The
I Recommend
Bottom
Line on
Adi Ignatius,
editor in chief,
Harvard Business
Happiness
Review
One of our
editors had heard
students buzzing
about a hugely
inspiring talk that
Harvard Business
School professor
Clayton M.
Christensen had
Use the tools of business to create
just delivered, and a life of fulllment and integrity
she asked him to
turn it into an BY C L AY TO N M . C H R I ST E N S E N
M
article. Its one of excerpted from Harvard Business Review
the most resonant
works weve ever
published (July/ y class at Harvard Business School
August 2010). helps students understand what
(TOP LEFT) ILLUSTRATED BY GRAFILU
Hundreds of good management theory is and

thousands of
how it is built. In each session, we
people came to
look at one company through the
hbr.org to read it.
lenses of different theories, using them to explain how
the company got into its situation and to examine
what actions will yield the needed results. On the last
day of class, I ask my students to turn those theoretical
lenses on themselves to nd answers to three ques-
tions: First, How can I be sure Ill be happy in my
career? Second, How can I be sure my relationships
176 ILLUSTRATED BY SHOUT

with my spouse and my family will gious faith, but faith isnt the only
become an enduring source of hap- thing that gives people direction. For
piness? Third, How can I be sure Ill example, one of my former students
stay out of jail? Though the last ques- decided that his purpose was to bring
tion sounds lighthearted, its not. Two honesty and economic prosperity to
of the 32 people in my Rhodes Scholar his country and to raise children who
class spent time in prison. Jeff Skilling were as capably committed to this
of Enron fame was my classmate at cause, and to each other, as he was.
Harvard Business School. His purpose is focused on family and
I graduated HBS in 1979, and over others, as is mine.
the years, Ive seen more and more of Here are some management tools
my classmates come to reunions un- that can be used to help you lead a
1
happy, divorced, and alienated from purposeful life.
their children. I can guarantee you
that not a single one of them gradu- USE YOUR RESOURCES WISELY.
ated with the deliberate strategy of Your decisions about allocating
getting divorced and raising children your personal time, energy, and
who would become estranged from talent shape your lifes strategy.
them. And yet a shocking number un- I have a bunch of businesses that
wittingly implemented that strategy. compete for these resources: Im try-
The reason? They didnt keep the pur- ing to have a rewarding relationship
pose of their lives front and center. with my wife, raise great kids, con-
Having a clear purpose has been tribute to my community, succeed
essential to me. But it was something in my career, and contribute to my
I had to think long and hard about church. And I have exactly the same
before I understood it. When I was problem that a corporation does. I
a Rhodes Scholar, I was in a very de- have a limited amount of time, en-
manding academic program, trying to ergy, and talent. How much do I de-
cram an extra years worth of work vote to each of these pursuits?
into my time at Oxford. I decided to Allocation choices can make your
spend an hour every night reading, life turn out to be very different from
thinking, and praying about why God what you intended. Sometimes thats
put me on this earth. It was a very good: Opportunities that you never
challenging commitment because ev- planned for emerge. But if you dont
ery hour I spent doing that, I wasnt invest your resources wisely, the out-
studying applied econometrics. I was come can be bad. As I think about my
conicted about whether I could really former classmates who inadvertently
afford to take time away from my stud- invested in lives of hollow unhappi-
ies, but I stuck with it and ultimately ness, I cant help believing that their
gured out the purpose of my life. troubles relate right back to a short-
My purpose grew out of my reli- term perspective.
When people with a high need for stunning and sobering pattern: people
achievement have an extra half hour allocating fewer and fewer resources
of time or an extra ounce of energy, to the things they would have once
2
theyll unconsciously allocate it to said mattered most.
activities that yield the most tangible
accomplishments. Our careers provide CREATE A FAMILY CULTURE.
the most concrete evidence that were Its one thing to see into the
moving forward. You ship a product, foggy future with acuity and
nish a design, complete a presenta- chart the course corrections a
tion, close a sale, teach a class, pub- company must make. But its quite an-
lish a paper, get paid, get promoted. other to persuade employees to line
In contrast, investing time and energy up and work cooperatively to take the
in your relationships with your spouse company in that new direction.
and children typically doesnt offer When there is little agreement, you
that same immediate sense of achieve- have to use power toolscoercion,
ment. Kids misbehave every day. threats, punishment, and so on, to
Its really not until 20 years secure cooperation. But if
down the road that you employees ways of work-
can say, I raised a good ing together succeed
son or a good daugh- Youve got over and over, consen-
ter. You can neglect
your relationship
to dene sus begins to form.
Ultimately, people
with your spouse, for yourself dont even think
and on a daily basis what you about whether their
it doesnt seem as if
things are deteriorat-
stand for and way yields success.
They embrace pri-
ing. People who are draw the line orities and follow
driven to excel have in a safe procedures by in-
this unconscious pro-
pensity to underinvest in
place. stinct and assumption
rather than by explicit
their families and overinvest decision, which means that
in their careers, even though in- theyve created a culture. Cul-
timate and loving family relation- ture, in compelling but unspoken
ships are the most powerful and ways, dictates the proven, accept-
enduring source of happiness. able methods by which members of
If you study the root causes of busi- a group address recurrent problems.
ness disasters, over and over youll And culture denes the priority given
nd this predisposition toward en- to different types of problems. It can
deavors that offer immediate grati- be a powerful management tool.
cation. If you look at personal lives I use this model to address the
through that lens, youll see the same question, How can I be sure my fam-
179
ily becomes an enduring practice biases compa-
source of happiness? Dont nies toward using what
My students quickly
see that the simplest
worry about theyve already put in
placewhat helped
way parents can your own them succeed in
elicit cooperation prominence; the pastinstead of
from children is to
wield power tools.
worry about the guiding them to cre-
ate the capabilities
But there comes a individuals theyll need in the
point during the teen you have future. If we knew
years when power tools
no longer work. At that
helped. the future would be
exactly the same as the
point, parents start wishing past, this would be fine.
they had begun working with But if the futures different,
their children at a very young age and it almost always is, then its
to build a culture in which chil- the wrong thing to do.
dren instinctively behave respectfully The marginal cost doctrine ad-
toward one another, obey their par- dresses the third question I discuss
ents, and choose the right thing to do. with my students: how to live a life
Families have cultures, just as compa- of integrity. Often when we need to
nies do. Those cultures can be built choose between right and wrong, a
consciously or evolve inadvertently. voice in our head says, Look, I know
If you want your kids to have strong that as a general rule, most people
self-esteem and the condence that shouldnt do this. But in this particu-
they can solve hard problems, those lar extenuating circumstance, just this
qualities wont magically material- once, its okay. The marginal cost of
ize in high school. You have to de- doing something wrong just this
sign them into your familys culture, once always seems alluringly low. It
and you have to think about this very suckers you in, and you dont look at
early on. Like employees, children where that path is ultimately headed
build self-esteem by doing things that and at the full costs that the choice
3
are hard and learning what works. entails. Justication for indelity and
dishonesty in all their manifestations
AVOID JUST THIS ONCE. lies in the marginal cost economics of
Were taught in finance and just this once.
economics that in choosing Id like to share a story about how
investments, we should ignore I came to understand the potential
sunk and xed costs and instead base damage of just this once in my
decisions on the marginal coststhat own life. I played on the Oxford Uni-
is, the price of each individual new versity varsity basketball team. We
step or purchase. But I teach that this worked our tails off and finished
the season undefeated. The guys give in to just this once, based on a
on the team were the best friends marginal cost analysis, as some of my
Ive ever had in my life. We got to former classmates did, youll regret
the British equivalent of the NCAA where you end up. Youve got to de-
tournament and made it to the nal ne for yourself what you stand for
4
four. It turned out the championship and draw the line in a safe place.
game was scheduled for a Sunday.
I had made a personal commitment REMEMBER TO BE HUMBLE.
to God at age 16 that I would never Its crucial to take a sense
play ball on Sunday. So I went to the of humility into the world.
coach and explained my problem. If your attitude is that only
He was incredulous. My teammates smarter people have something to
were, too, because I was the starting teach you, your learning opportu-
center. Every one of the guys on the nities will be very limited. But if
team came to me and said, Youve you have a humble eagerness to
got to play. Cant you break the rule learn something from everybody,
just this one time? Im a deeply reli- your learning opportunities will
gious man, so I went away and prayed be unlimited. Generally you can be
about what I should do. I got a very humble only if you feel really good
clear feeling that I shouldnt break my about yourself and want to help those
commitment, so I didnt play in the around you feel really good about
championship game. themselves too. When we see people
In many ways, that was a small de- acting in an abusive, arrogant, or de-
cision, involving one of several thou- meaning manner toward others, their
sand Sundays in my life. In theory, I behavior almost always is a symptom
could have crossed over the line just of their lack of self-esteem. They
that one time and then never done need to put someone else down to
5
it again. But looking back, I can see feel good about themselves.
that resisting the temptation of just
this once was one of the most im- CHOOSE THE RIGHT YARDSTICK.
portant decisions I have ever made. Dont worry about the level
My life has been an unending stream of individual prominence you
of extenuating circumstances. Had have achieved; worry about
I crossed the line that one time, I the individuals you have helped be-
would have done it over and over in come better people. This is my nal
the years that followed. recommendation: Think about the
The lesson I learned is that its metric by which your life will be
easier to hold to your principles 100 judged, and make a resolution to live
percent of the time than it is to hold every day so that in the end, your life
to them 98 percent of the time. If you will be judged a success.
COPYRIGHT 2010 BY HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL PUBLISHING. BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS 02163.
181
Word P wer BY ROB LUTES
Going Places The height of winter always leaves us longing for some time
away. If you, too, have a touch of wanderlust this month but cant manage even a
mini vacation, this quiz might help: The theme is toponyms, words derived from
place-names both real and ctional. Bon voyage! Answers on next page.
1. balkanize v.A: divide 8. El Dorado n.
into factions. B: coat with A: symbol of peace.
rubber. C: prevent from B: place of great
entering. wealth and oppor-
2. Byzantine adj. tunity. C: dance to
A: articial. B. compli- celebrate life.
cated. C: dangerous. 9. lyceum
3. sybarite n.seeker of n.A:
A: knowledge. B: power. trellised
C: pleasure. pathway.
4. lilliputian adj. B: hall for
A: highly fragrant. B: very public
small. C: wondrous. lectures.
C: ornate
5. madras n.A: colorful display.
light-cotton fabric.
10. solecism
B: hearty lentil soup.
n.A: minor
C: large, noisy crowd.
blunder
6. Dixieland n.style of in speech.
A: country music. B: expression
B: country gospel. C: jazz. of disgust.
7. tabby n.A: type of C: statement of worth. 12. magenta n.
silk taffeta. B: variety 11. jodhpurs n.A: leather A: light pink. B: purplish
of wine grape. C: type of boots. B: riding breeches. red. C: dark blue.
wallcovering. C: protective gloves. 13. Boeotian adj.
A: heavy. B: witty.
ILLUSTRATED BY LUC MELANSON
Sound Smarter C: dull or obtuse.

14. fescennine adj.
Want to prove yourself a true grammarian? Take care A: silent. B: loud.
to use proved and proven correctly. Proved is the verb C: obscene.
form (a past participle, as in Red with shame, Leah was 15. canopic jar n.jar
proved wrong). Use proven only as an adjective (A trip for A: preserving food.
to the tropics is a proven remedy for the winter blues). B: storing embalmed
Legalese exception: innocent until proven guilty. entrails. C: keeping
medicine.
Answers
1. balkanize[A] divide 7. tabby[A] type of silk taffeta (the
into factions (the Balkan fabric was rst made in Al-Attabiya,
Peninsula was split into Baghdad). Carols elegant tabby
small warring nations). scarf didnt suit her
The policies balkanized the tattered tee.
already troubled nation. 8. El Dorado[B] place
2. Byzantine[B] compli- of great wealth and oppor-
cated (the bureaucracy tunity (the city was said to
of Byzantium was hold fabulous riches). Eli labeled
complex). Confused Silicon Valley his El Dorado.
by the Byzantine map, 9. lyceum[B] hall for public lec-
Jo was three hours late. tures (Aristotle taught in Lyceum, a
3. sybarite[C] seeker of gymnasium near Athens). The profes-
pleasure (the ancient Greek city sor feared the lyceums massive scale.
Sybaris was known for wealth and 10. solecism[A] minor blunder in
luxury). A sybarite, Tom favored speech (a substandard form of lan-
costly, rare Italian reds. guage was spoken in Soloi, a city in
4. lilliputian[B] very small (in ancient Cilicia). The grooms solecism
Gullivers Travels, the inhabitants of led to the couples rst big tiff.
Lilliput were tiny). The lilliputian 11. jodhpurs[B] riding breeches (they
minnows slid through Pucks netting. were designed in Jodhpur, India). Lillie
5. madras[A] colorful light-cotton wore her old jodhpurs for the race.
fabric (the style originated in Madras, 12. magenta[B] purplish red (the col-
India). Elsie begged Mom for the ors dye was discovered the year of the
pricey orange-and-yellow madras top. Battle of Magenta, Italy, 1859). At sun-
6. Dixieland[C] style of jazz (Dixie set, the sky turned a stunning magenta.
is a nickname for the U.S. South, where 13. Boeotian[C] dull or obtuse (Greek
the style originated). They sat for Boeotians were labeled bores by Athe-
hours in awe of the Dixieland band. nians). Mae struggled to explain per-
formance art to her Boeotian cousin.
Deep Roots 14. fescennine[C] obscene (the
ancient Italian town Fescennia was
You might say your house has been noted for offensive verse). Those lyr-
absolute bedlam since that holiday ics are fescennine! Wills mom cried.
puppy moved in, though youd probably 15. canopic jar[B] jar for storing
be exaggerating. Meaning a state of embalmed entrails (it was mistakenly
uproar or confusion, the word is an associated with Canopus, Egypt). King
allusion to Bedlam, the popular name of Tuts tomb holds four canopic jars.
the Hospital of St. Mary of Bethlehem, VOCABULARY RATINGS
an insane asylum in 14th-century Lon- 9 and below: wordmonger
don. (That spelling is from the Middle 1012: wordsmith 1315: etymologist
English Bedlem, or Bethlehem.)
wordpowergame.
Challenge a friend to beat your score in
our online game at readersdigest.com/

Life
O n his birthday,
my husband
was stuck driving
our six rambunc-
tious children
around. As usual,
they were yelling,
punching, and an-
noying one another.
Joel had nally had
enough.
Kids, he said
over the din, if you
would behave and
be kind to each
other, that would be
a very nice birthday
present for me. Nice party, but I guess Im just not ready
Our six-year-old to meet anyone yet.
shot back, Too late.
I already got you another present. That he was married, didnt have
G a y l e Tr ot t e r , Washington, D.C. a job, and lived with his parents.
Beau Jest Id noticed that my 60-year-old

Thefrisky.com asked women to share father seemed to be losing his hear-
some of the odd confessions they ing, so I mentioned it to my mother.
heard on a first (and last) date. Things havent changed that
ILLUSTRATED BY DONNA BARSTOW
That he had been stalking me much, she said. Only difference

online for over a year. is, before, he didnt listen. Now
That he was polyamorous. he cant.
That he was a 9/11 D e b o r ah Kel l y, San Diego, California
conspiracy theorist After ringing
who thought Bush/ cell phones ruined a I took four tires to a
Cheney/Rove were service, our rabbi laid down friends garage sale
the law in the latest temple
behind the terror- and was asking $30
newsletter: Lets turn o the
ist attacks. technology and turn on each other. apiece. I needed
188 An n ie Stu tz m an , Madison, Connecticut readersdigest.com 2/11
to leave for a few minutes, so I The family dog, long departed,
asked him to watch them for me. was stuffed and standing next to the
Sure, he said, but if someone replace. RIP Sparky.
offers less, how low are you willing The main distraction was dirt.
to go? Although there was the tiny child
Try for more, but I will accept who proudly showed us the refrig-
$15, I said, and left. erator full of Daddys beer just
When I returned, my tires were outside an upstairs bedroom.
gone. How much did you get for
them? I asked excitedly.
Fifteen dollars each. Plenty of Time for All
Who bought them? My Sand Shopping!
I did! D a v i d J e n se n , Vancouver, Canada
My two daughters were discussing

the less-than-desirable physical
attributes they had inherited from
their father.
The older one: I hate my freckles
from Dad.
Her unsympathetic younger
sister: At least you got his freckles.
I got his eyebrow.
Ta m m y R i d d l e , Chagrin Falls, Ohio
House Dutiful
Its tough enough selling a home now-
adays. Dont make the mistakes that Seen in Glamis, California; from Signspotting 2: More
turned off these readers on the City Absurd & Amusing Signs from Around the World
Room blog of the New York Times: (Lonely Planet)
It was a good house, well-

maintained. But the bed with the
person in it was off-putting.
SeeYour favorite new joke, funny anecdote,
or crazy news story might be worth $$$.
page 105 for details.
Consumer Information Readers Digest may share information about you with reputable companies in order for them to oer you products and
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published by RD Large Edition, Inc. For details, write: Readers Digest Large Print, PO Box 6097, Harlan, Iowa 51593-1597. Readers Digest (ISSN 0034-
0375) (USPS 865-820), Vol. 178, No. 1063, February 2011. 2011 The Readers Digest Association, Inc. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction,
in any manner, is prohibited. Readers Digest, The Digest, and the Pegasus logo are registered trademarks, and Make It Matter is a
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g
Last Laugh
Thats Where I Want to Live Ever notice that photos in
home catalogs always include an overly twee prop or two? Molly Erdman
decided they needed a backstory. For more, go to catalogliving.net.
In a nal attempt to get the lilies to stand Elaine so wanted to lounge outside, but
up straight in the vase, Elaine hung a picture when she saw a romantic moment between
and hoped they would get the idea. the two soda bottles, she left them in peace.
DEBORAH WHITLAW LLEWELLYN
While Elaine wondered where all the Gary felt bad for the elk in the painting
apples had disappeared to, Gary thought as they stared longingly at the frog, which
he had a good idea. had somehow managed to escape.

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THE BEST IDEAS & TIPS FROM 350+ SOURCES

110 Is This Any Way to Lose Weight? I N T E R V I E W B Y L I S A D AV I S

129 The 2010 Blame & Shame Awards S A C H A Z . S C O B L I C

136 The Best

PHOTOGRAPHED BY TAMARA REYNOLDS; (BOTTOM) ILLUSTRATED BY SARAH WILKINS

104 @Work Oce laughs

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Include your full name, unsolicited artwork, Readers Digest,

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Readers Digest Goes Digital

Editors Note: Thanks! In addition to being on

CANYONLANDS NATIONAL PARK Work

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Remember business knows somebody whos if I stayed a few extra days?

When regular folks travel abroad,

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I used to think: Women w Stop generalizing about which

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Mousse down and insert toothpick into

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2 Map your oven to see where the

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A recent report from and mushrooms are dementia, as you age.

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HOW TO A recent study of more than 85,000 women

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OTHER REASONS WE KISS

Subconsciously, both partners are picking

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How Harvard Docs TONE

Mail Carrier 5) We dont get a

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Three reasons to be Explaining poison-

[In Montreal] we had a little apartment

Plugging in your electric car before

The rst thing I ask myself with every

m enjoyingthough enjoying is probably the