Power of Process Assignment Title: Close Reading Practice: Tina Fey's "All Girls Must Be

Everything"

Pontea Doroudian

My Annotations

Descriptive Modifiers : We're working on adding more descriptive modifiers to our memoirs this week (adjectives and
adverbs). Highlight THREE modifiers (words or phrases) that help add specific details to the memoir
and in the annotations, label each one (adjective modifying a noun or adverb modifying a verb)

small-eyed, thin-lipped blond

adjective modifying a noun

fun, exotic

adjectives modifying a noun

actually

adverb modifying a verb

Using humor : Highlight TWO places where Fey uses humor to help make her point. In the annotation, write a
sentence to describe whether the humor helps make the memoir more interesting or not, and why?

Also, full disclosure, I would trade my feet for almost any other set of feet out there.

This is humorous because her entire point was that people should love themselves and lists out that
she will never be willing to alter or change any part of her body. At the end she fully admits that she
does in fact dislike her feet and would change it with anything. This makes it more humorous to the
reader.

In the space of thirty-six hours, they taught me everything I know about womanhood.

She makes it seem as if she actually learned "everything" about womanhood but then continues by
describing some more teenage style activities at the beach. This does make it more interesting by
making the plot more unexpected.

Using Lists : Fey uses a stylistic element that we haven't seen in the other memoirs so far--she uses bulleted lists.
Highlight an area of one of the lists and then in the annotation, write a sentence about why you think
she uses this stylistic element.

big poresoily T-zonecanklesfiveheadlunch lady armsnipples too bignipples too smallbreasts too
bigbreasts too smallone breast bigger than the otherone breast smaller than the other (How are those
two different things? I dont know.)nasal labial foldsno arch in my eyebrows!protruding lower
bellymuffin topspider veinssaddlebagscrotch biscuits (thats what I call the wobbly triangles on ones
inner thighs)thin lashesbony kneeslow hairlinecalves too bigno calves!green undertones in my
skinand my personal favorite, bad nail beds

She lists out all the so-called "deficiencies that women can possible have and makes fun of them
my how ridiculous they sound - listing the strange names they have. Also, since they is a countless
number of examples she wants to use, the list is the only way to go.

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The "So What?" Element : Fey uses the memory of the beach in her childhood (as well as some memories with her daughter) all
focused on appearance, or how culture (society in general) tells us how we have to look in order to
be considered "beautiful" or "handsome." In this way, she uses her memories (and her humor) to
criticize something about our culture. This critique makes her memoir have an external meaning-- it's
not just a happy memory of the beach, it's a memory that allows her to critique society (this answers
the "so what?" question readers might have after reading.. I read this, now, so what? why is this
important to me?) Highlight TWO places where you think Fey addresses the "so what?" question and
in the annotation, summary the passage you highlighted.

How do we survive this? How do we teach our daughters and our sons that they are good enough the
way they are? We have to lead by example

This is where is she brings up the "so what?" question. She questions what should society to do to
protect the future from this toxic form of beauty. She believes the only way to overcome it is to
accept your flaws and flaunt where they came from (shared by the family). We shouldn't be idealist
anymore and be realist and think about whether the body is healthy and not just aesthetically
pleasing.

And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are
beautiful. Ha ha ha. No

In this passage, Tina Fey addresses the fact that no women embraces their diversity and unique
beauty because society has created an ideal form of beauty. Not everyone is able to have all the
qualities listed and no one should be expected to. However, in society, only these women are called
"beautiful."

Cultural References : Fey is obviously writing this memoir for an older (30+) American audience who know many of the
celebrities she refers to while she is explaining what our culture values in terms of beauty (not only
will they know them because of American culture, but also their age). This shows how culturally
bound we are when we write and read--if we don't have the same cultural references, a text won't
mean the same thing to us. Highlight TWO places where she makes a cultural reference to a celebrity
that you don't know (or you're not 100% sure you know) and then look up that person's name and
write a sentence about who they are in the annotation.

Farrah Fawcett

Fawcett was an American actress who was known for her iconic red swimsuit picture and role in a
series known as "Charlie's Angels." She was also famous for her pin-up status and her signature
hairstyle. She unfortunately died in 2009 from anal cancer.

Naomi Campbell

Naomi Campbell was an English supermodel. She is known for being the first black women on the
front cover of French "Vogue" and first black model on "Time." In addition to modeling, Campbell
has pursued acting and music careers. She is also known for being involved in a high-profile lawsuit
with London's Daily Mirror- there was a photo of her leaving a Narcotics Anonymous meeting.

My Responses

Look up the author : To keep working on our habit of always knowing something about the writers we're reading, look up
Tina Fey and write a sentence or two about who she is.

Elizabeth Stamatina Fey, otherwise known as Tina Fey is an American writer, comedian, actress, and
producer. She is known for her impersonations of Sarah Palin on a late show called "SNL," as the
producer of the critical-acclaimed film called "Mean Girls" and as the writer of a series called "30 Rock."

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Analyze your process : Below is a display of the Power of Process circle and a list that details the order in which you
completed the process. Why did you decide to visit the reading strategies in this order? How did
your strategy decisions help you understand and think about the text? Which strategies helped you
most? What strategies will you use the next time you read a text?

I went in this way since the "before reading" option was to the right which made me believe that
completing each assignment clocks was the way to go. I didn't actually have a strategy other than going
with what my gut thought was the logical order of doing it. It did help me in that order because it went fro
asking very specific grammar questions to more broader and contextual questions. The way in which I
answered the questions was by reading the entire text before and then remerging where every part was
located before answering the questions. As for the grammar questions, I read through the text one more
time. The strategy of reading over again helped me the most. If i were to do it differently, I would read
the questions before I read the text to keep my eye open instead of having to read over the text again to
search for the answers.

All Girls Must Be Everything

Tina Fey
When I was thirteen I spent a weekend at the beach in Wildwood, New Jersey, with my teenage cousins
Janet and Lori. In the space of thirty-six hours, they taught me everything I know about womanhood. They
knew how to lay out in the sun wearing tanning oil instead of sunscreen. They taught me that you could
make a reverse tattoo in your tan if you cut a shape out of a Band-Aid and stuck it on your leg. They taught
me you could listen to General Hospital on the radio if you turned the FM dial way down to the bottom.

Wildwood is a huge wide beachthe distance from your towel to the water was often equal to the distance
from your motel to your towel. And back in the day the place was packed exclusively with very, very tan
Italian Americans and very, very burned Irish Americans. As a little kid, I almost always got separated from
my parents and would panic trying to find them among dozens and dozens of similar umbrellas.

One afternoon a girl walked by in a bikini and my cousin Janet scoffed, Look at the hips on her. I panicked.
What about the hips? Were they too big? Too small? What were my hips? I didnt know hips could be a
problem. I thought there was just fat or skinny.

This was how I found out that there are an infinite number of things that can be incorrect on a womans
body. At any given moment on planet Earth, a woman is buying a product to correct one of the following
deficiencies:

big pores
oily T-zone
cankles
fivehead
lunch lady arms
nipples too big
nipples too small
breasts too big
breasts too small
one breast bigger than the other
one breast smaller than the other (How are those two different things? I dont know.)
nasal labial folds
no arch in my eyebrows!
protruding lower belly
muffin top
spider veins
saddlebags
crotch biscuits (thats what I call the wobbly triangles on ones inner thighs)
thin lashes

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 bony knees
low hairline
calves too big
no calves!
green undertones in my skin
and my personal favorite, bad nail beds

In hindsight, Im pretty sure Janet meant the girls hips were too wide. This was the late seventies, and the
seventies were a small-eyed, thin-lipped blond womans paradise. I remember watching Threes Company
as a little brown-haired kid thinking, Really? This is what we get? Joyce DeWitt is our brunet
representative? Shes got that greasy-looking bowl cut and they make her wear suntan pantyhose under her
football jersey nightshirt. I may have only been seven or eight, but I knew that this sucked. The standard of
beauty was set. Cheryl Tiegs, Farrah Fawcett, Christie Brinkley. Small eyes, toothy smile, boobies, no
buttocks, yellow hair.

Lets talk about the hair. Why do I call it yellow hair and not blond hair? Because Im pretty sure
everybody calls my hair brown. When I read fairy tales to my daughter I always change the word blond to
yellow, because I dont want her to think that blond hair is somehow better.

My daughter has a reversible doll: Sleeping Beauty on one side and Snow White on the other. I would
always set it on her bed with the Snow White side out and she would toddle up to it and flip the skirt over to
Sleeping Beauty. I would flip it back and say, Snow White is so pretty. She would yell, No! and flip it back.
I did this experiment so frequently and consistently that I should have applied for government funding. The
result was always the same. When I asked her why she didnt like Snow White, she told me, I dont like her
hair. Not even three years old, she knew that yellow hair is king. And, lets admit it, yellow hair does have
magic powers. You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to hook up with it.
Snow White is better looking. I hate to stir up trouble among the princesses, but take away the hair and
Sleeping Beauty is actually a little beat.

Sure, when I was a kid, there were beautiful brunettes to be foundLinda Ronstadt, Jaclyn Smith, the little
Spanish singer on The Lawrence Welk Showbut they were regarded as a fun, exotic alternative. Farrah
was vanilla and Jaclyn Smith was chocolate. Can you remember a time when pop culture was so white that
Jaclyn Smith was the chocolate?! By the eighties, we started to see some real chocolate: Halle Berry and
Naomi Campbell. Downtown Julie Brown and Tyra Banks. But I think the first real change in womens body
image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the
back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they
had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boomBeyonc brought the leg meat. A
back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired.

And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are
beautiful. Ha ha ha. No. Im totally messing with you. All Beyonc and JLo have done is add to the laundry
list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have:

Caucasian blue eyes

full Spanish lips
a classic button nose
hairless Asian skin with a California tan
a Jamaican dance hall ass
long Swedish legs
small Japanese feet
the abs of a lesbian gym owner
the hips of a nine-year-old boy
the arms of Michelle Obama
and doll [boobs]

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by
Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.

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Even the Yellowhairs who were once on top can now be found squatting to a Rihanna song in a class called
Garys Glutes Camp in an attempt to reverse-engineer a butt. These are dark times. Back in my Wildwood
days with Janet, you were either blessed with a beautiful body or not. And if you were not, you could just
chill out and learn a trade. Now if youre not hot, you are expected to work on it until you are. Its like when
you renovate a house and youre legally required to leave just one of the original walls standing. If you dont
have a good body, youd better starve the body you have down to a neutral shape, then bolt on some breast
implants, replace your teeth, dye your skin orange, inject your lips, sew on some hair, and call yourself the
Playmate of the Year.

How do we survive this? How do we teach our daughters and our sons that they are good enough the way
they are? We have to lead by example. Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory
of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful:

Straight Greek eyebrows. They start at the hairline at my temple and, left unchecked, will grow straight
across my face and onto yours.
A heart-shaped ass. Unfortunately, its a right-side-up heart; the point is at the bottom.
Droopy brown eyes designed to confuse predators into thinking Im just on the verge of sleep and they
should come back tomorrow to eat me.
Permanently rounded shoulders from years of working at a computer.
A rounded belly that is pushed out by my rounded posture no matter how many sit-ups I do. Which is
mostly none.
A small high waist.
A wad of lower-back fat that never went away after I lost my baby weight. One day in the next ten years,
this back roll will meet up with my front pouch, forever obscuring my small high waist, and I will officially be
my mother.
Good strong legs with big gym teacher calves that I got from walking pigeon-toed my whole life.
Wide German hips that look like somebody wrapped Pillsbury dough around a case of soda.
My fathers feet. Flat. Bony. Pale. I dont know how he even gets around, because his feet are in my
shoes.

I would not trade any of these features for anybody elses. I wouldnt trade the small thin-lipped mouth that
makes me resemble my nephew. I wouldnt even trade the acne scar on my right cheek, because that
recurring zit spent more time with me in college than any boy ever did.

At the end of the day, Im happy to have my fathers feet and my mothers eyes with me at all times. If I ever
go back to that beach in Wildwood, I want my daughter to be able to find me in the crowd by spotting my
soda-case hips. I want her to be able to pick me out of a sea of highlighted-blond women with fake tans
because Im the one with the thick ponytail and the greenish undertones in my skin.

And if I ever meet Joyce DeWitt, I will first apologize for having immediately punched her in the face, and
then I will thank her. For while she looked like a Liza Minnelli doll that had been damaged in a fire, at least
she didnt look like everybody else on TV.

Also, full disclosure, I would trade my feet for almost any other set of feet out there.

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