I BELIEVE: NUDITY IN FILMS, AFFAIRS, LIVING IN.

KOLKATA ACTRESS RII SEN SPILLS ON HER WILDSIDE

I am a tripper. My world is all about imagination. Often my imaginary world blends in with my real
world and I cant differentiate one from the other. Sometimes I wonder if I have a real self beyond
my being an actor But all I know is that films are my passion, love and my fodder for life
DISTURBED CHILDHOOD, YET A HAPPY CHILD
I was born in Kolkata to Swapna and the
late Dilip Sen. And my birthday falls on the
26th of July. When I was born, I was named
Rituparna, but it was much later when I
joined films that my name was changed to
Rii. Soon after my birth, I lived mostly with
my grandmother, as both my parents were
working. My parents had a very turbulent
personal life and were going through a
divorce when I was barely two. I also have
a brother, who is 10 years older to me.

But despite my parents disintegrating relationship, I had quite a joyous childhood living with
my uncles, aunts and grandmother. All the pampering that came from them was an added
bonus. I remember how I used to perform Bollywood numbers in front of my uncles friends and
made them give me chocolates or toffees in return. I guess that was my first step towards
acting. I must have taken my dancing talent very seriously because on every holiday, at 11 oclock
in the morning, I would visit all my neighbours, dance to Bollywood numbers and as remuneration
take a bowl of tomato ketchup from them. I used to love eating tomato ketchup! I still do.

PARENTS DIVORCE & DADS DEATH

When I became older and started going to school, I got engrossed in studies. I played, made
friends and watched films. But the trauma of my parents crumbling relationship did affect me.
Though I was a happy child, I also felt insecure. They were my parents after all and I loved them
and wanted them to be together. But I would also see them fighting and it would be traumatic.
As a child, I was not directly affected as I had my extended family to look after me, but when I
grew up, those memories came back to haunt me.

It was also a philosophical journey, as I learnt about a man-woman bond through my parents
troubled relationship. I saw a lot of hatred between them they would beat each other up in front
of me. And I often wondered why human beings behaved like that. I thought if two people loved
each other, it should be forever There should be no space for hatred or fights. It made me realize
the importance of relationships. Right now, the focus of my life is not just my career. Its also about
building relationships with people not just your lover but everybody around you, but Ill come to
that later

Soon after my parents divorce, my father died. He was diagnosed with liver cancer. I was too
young then to understand the loss. Besides, I have no great memories of him as a dad other than
a few vague incidents of taking a rickshaw ride with him, or him taking me out to buy a pair of
shoes or chocolates.

BOYS, AFFAIRS & MORE

Back to my school days, I did my schooling
from South Point School. I was quite a tomboy
in school and always had more boys than girls
as friends. I did all those things you were not
supposed to do in school. I used to bunk class
and watch films like Rangeela and Dilwale
Dulhaniya Le Jayenge, and would try and
dress up like the heroines.

Since I went to a co-educational school, my

introduction to the male world began early on.
I was hardly 12 or 13 when a boy proposed to
me. It was thrilling as it marked my first unsure
steps into womanhood. There was innocence
in those early days of holding hands and
looking into each others eyes. My stepping into
adulthood was further assisted by films
like Blue Lagoon, which had just released.
I watched it with my friends. And when I was 17
or 18, I also watched Kamasutra which was a
big eye-opener in terms of exploring sexuality.

My parents were not very strict and that helped too. But I must say I was pretty rash. There was
craziness and recklessness in those adolescent years which, of course, had its own charm. I fell
in and out of affairs and there were numerous flings, but none important enough for me to
remember. But I am happy that all those affairs and flings happened because they helped me
understand myself and my body as a woman.

And today, I have realized that I dont want a relationship where Im bound by emotions. A
relationship with a friend or lover is always bound by anger, lust, insecurity, pleasure. Emotions
should be neutralized. I want to practice how a relationship can be built without carrying its
emotional baggage.
MOTHERS SECOND MARRIAGE
When I was in still in high
school, my mother re-married.
And my brother and I moved in
with my second dad. I was
quite fine with it. As I said,
though a little disturbed, I was
essentially a happy child, so I
never had these notions that
my second father would
snatch my mother away from
me or something. On the
contrary, my second dad was
quite lovable. He used to take us to restaurants. I thought my mother was pretty cool too. At least
she was honest in whatever she did. We didnt share the traditional mother-daughter relationship
but she was supportive in whatever I did, be it modelling (which I soon got into) or my raving
affairs. She never tried to take charge of my life. She let me have my space which was good.

TEEN MODELLING
I was still a teenager when I began modelling. After I finished my 12th, I didnt want to pursue
studies any further, and I kept wondering what to do with myself. One of my friends said, You
look good. Why dont you try modelling? And I thought to myself, why not? At that time, my
second dad also passed away, and I was thinking of doing something to earn for myself. So I
started modelling, and this was exactly 12 years ago. I remember going to Sishir Studio which was
a cult studio in Kolkata in those days. And the scenario was completely different then. The
modelling industry was not as professional as it is now. Someone referred me to this
photographer who told me that a model was required for a spice ad and that I had to report to
the studio the next day. I went; they took my pictures and gave me 1,000 bucks and I was thrilled!
I told myself, this is it! I didnt have to do anything. All I did was smile and went home with a fat
packet. But it was not just money that drew me to this profession. It was my love for the camera,
and this love affair with the camera has continued ever since

FREEDOM & FILMS

My first big modelling assignment was for Biskfarm biscuits. My coordinator called me to say that
I was selected and the shoot would take place in Darjeeling. I was delirious about travelling alone.
It was a new feeling of independence. I would be working on my own terms. I started getting a
lot of assignments Khadims, PC Chandra, BC Sen, La Opala etc.
After two-three years of modelling, I shifted to
acting in tele films and serials. My first break came
with well-known director Jishu Dasguptas Tithir
Othithi (which was a very popular TV serial in
Bengal). Someone from Jishu Dasguptas team
called me and asked me to come over to their
location which I did. He took one look at me and
asked me to put on my makeup and there I was,
shooting my first television project! I was a
confident kid and that probably worked to my
advantage.

After that, I did a lot of television serials for ETV

which I dont remember now. And between 2001
and 2003, I acted in a lot of tele films and short
films. There used to be these series of tele films
titled Shudhu Tomari Jonye and I worked with a
lot of directors like Jishu Dasgupta, Rajorshi
Mukherjee, Atanu Ghosh, Rabi Narayan Maota etc.
I got a lot of critical acclaim for my acting. I
worked with discipline and kept myself updated.
But my real innings in acting was yet to come

MEETING Q & FINDING MY CALLING

In 2003, I met Q. He is a filmmaker in Kolkata whose actual name is Qaushik Mukherjee but he is
better known as Q. He is a big name in the alternative cinema genre but when I met him, he was
just beginning to spread his wings. He was doing his first Bengali film Tepantarer Mathe. I
auditioned for it, got selected and my life changed.

I completely forgot who Rituparna was and I was reborn as Rii. Rituparna was a big name and Q
suggested I rename myself Rii. After that, since 2003, I made a conscious decision not to do
mainstream cinema and television. And I detached myself from television completely. I became
very choosy about my work and did films which were completely independent and driven by
passion. I didnt worry about how much money they made at the box office.

In fact, I dont do films for the masses anymore. Q introduced me to dogma and underground
(non-mainstream films). I watched Lars von Triers The Idiots, Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritus 21
Grams and Gaspar Noes Enter The Void and Irreversible. And my head got really messed up
seeing all these movies. Lars von Triers The Idiots had a big influence in my life and I wanted to
do films which had nudity, and where I could use my body. I didnt want to just put on makeup
and stand in front of the camera. Discovering dogma Films Tepantarer Mathe, however, was
doomed because nobody understood the film, not even the producer! When Q was shooting this
film, I didnt know what a dogma film was and neither did the people around me. A dogma film is
not shot on a cinematic camera. It was shot on a PD 150 camera and it was completely digital.
There were no extra lights, heavy production ware or a huge number of people which you
commonly see on a film set. I learnt later about all this. A dogma film is a method of very realistic
filmmaking started by two Danish directors in 1995, where a movie is shot in a natural setting with
natural lighting. To put it simply, it is everything that a Bollywood or Hollywood blockbuster is not.

For me, it was something completely new. Detractors were bullshitting us because they didnt
know that a film could be made on digital camera. Things have changed a lot now but we were
ahead of our times.

IN LUST WITH Q
What also struck me when we started shooting
the film was the cool quotient of everybody
around me. It was a completely different culture
from what I was used to in Bengali cinema.
Everybody spoke in English and was so coolly
dressed. Q had reddish orange hair and such a
cool personality that I was completely bowled
over by his handsomeness. And what followed
was a totally clichd pattern the director and
the actress fell for one another. It was not love It
was lust. It was a completely lustful relationship.

Q was growing as a filmmaker and I was growing

as an actress, and we started understanding
each others work. Q, at that time, was a part-
time filmmaker. He had a good advertising job in
Sri Lanka to fall back on and a mad hobby of
making films on which he spent what he earned.
He used to go back to Sri Lanka, make money,
come here again and make films.
After Tepantarer Mathe, Q went back to Sri Lanka as the film didnt do well. He came back to do
his next film Le Pocha. Our relationship survived this period of separation. After Le Pocha, we did
a film which changed our lives. That film was called Love in India. We were new lovers and were
seeing how a city reacts to lovers in a relationship. That helped us do Love in India.
RUNNING AWAY FROM HOME
Q and I, incidentally, went to the same school. He is five years older than me. In fact, I remember
seeing him in school but we obviously didnt know each other then. Q was already married when
we first met but to me, it didnt matter whether he had a wife or child. Our films were at a nascent
stage. We were working here in Kolkata and his wife was in Sri Lanka. Besides, we were young and
volatile. And before long, I began spending so much time with him that I hardly ever went home.
Of course, it didnt go down well with my family. But I was so blinded by desire that I couldnt think
of anyone else like my mom, brother or society.

But soon, I was in for a reality check when my family explained to me that they didnt like it that I
was not returning home at night. They didnt like the fact that I was staying with a man; and that
my body was full of love bites and scratch marks. It was something my family could not handle,
and they freaked out! They gave me a bad time and even beat me up to make me come around.
The scene was so violent that I felt I would lose my mind. Thats when I left home and moved in
with Q.

LIVING-IN & LOVIN IT!

Its been almost five years since we moved in together. Q
is divorced now. But no, we are not married! We are not
bound by the conservative rules of a relationship. But we
are good friends and that has kept us together.

He likes my smile and I love his madness. Together we

make our film called life. We are happy just being
together, and I dont care what people say.

Before we moved in with each other, things were different. Everything between us was so crazy
and romantic. After we moved in, things changed. Our relationship matured and we are in a
much stronger relationship right now. Today, I am in touch with my mother but I dont know
whether she has accepted the fact that I am living-in. But I am sure she wont dare to confront
me. I am not in touch with my brother though. He and I are very different from one another.

FILMING MY LIFE STORY

In 2004, I acted in another docufiction Many Stories of Love and Hate, directed by Shyamal
Karmakar. This documentary was screened at the Mumbai International Film Festival in 2010.
Incidentally, the film was based on my life. It is the story of a girl from Kolkata who is an actress.
A girl who had a miserable childhood because of the domestic violence she had seen between
her parents. It is a very tragic story. I watched it once and I cant watch it again. But the story was
my story.
In 2009, I came back with yet another Q film named Bissh. This was a hard hitting film that
stretched the limits of sexual morality. The story revolves around three women, old friends, who
meet after a long time and remember the freedom of their early youth. They decide to relive their
past and spend one night out in the city as sexual predators. And I play one of the girls, Bee, in
the movie.

GOING NUDE
Then in 2010, came Gandu. The film was never released in India but it was perhaps one of the
most talked about films in recent times. And yes, there was a lot of talk about the full frontal nude
scenes I did. For all those whose eyes just popped out, yes, Ive done nude scenes in Gandu.
Some people use their eyes or face to express themselves; I use my body. Its simple and organic.
Period. I am an actor. When Paoli Dam did Chatrak, everyone went calculating who did it (the
nude scenes) first. But I am really bored with this issue. And its not about who did what first but
rather why they did what they did.

And Im all for the cause of cinema and Ill continue acting with my body. I want to push my
sexuality in cinema to the borderline where it becomes extreme and dangerous. What I mean
here is that I want to shock people! Sexuality is a cult for me. Sex in India is done behind closed
doors, so when I am shooting nude, I am challenging my audience to be nude of all their
inhibitions while watching the scenes. It may not happen the first time they are watching my nude
scenes, but at some point people will recognize the language of the body. I am making a political
statement with my body. Understand the politics of the body! I also have nude scenes in my film
Cosmic Sex which won me the best actress award at Osians Cinefan Festival of Asian and Arab
Cinema.

ACCOLADES FOR GANDU

However, what prepared the cast for the nude scenes in Gandu were the several workshops Q
made us go through. Anubrata, Joyraj (actors of Gandu) and I were mature artistes. More than
thinking of how we were going to shoot the scenes, we realized the impact they would create
and how we needed to prepare for them. The nude scenes were shot with a lot of on-the-spot
improvisation in terms of the camera movements.

As an actor, I think nudity should not be a matter of contention as it is done all the time in world
cinema. But Gandu was a path-breaking film in many ways and not just because of the nudity
in the film. It won the Jury Award for the Best Film and the Best Director at the South Asian
International Film Festival. It was hugely appreciated in Rome and Berlin. It was shot on a
shoestring budget with only six crew members and filmed in black and white with one scene in
colour and had no official script. But when Q made the film, he knew the impact it would create.
It was an anarchist film and it was out to shock - right from the name Gandu which means
asshole.

CRITICISM FOR NUDITY IN FILMS

While there were people who praised me for my nude scenes, brickbats came my way too. Some
people said I was letting people exploit me by doing these nude scenes, and that makes me
really angry! All I ask these people is to come out of their inhibited mindsets. They dont know
where world cinema has moved to. Nobody is exploiting me to do these scenes. And if they are
hell-bent on finding an exploiter, then I am exploiting myself.

My current film Tasher Desh (Land of Cards) is based on Rabindranath Tagores dance drama.
And it was screened at the 7th Rome International Film Festival and is now in theatres in India. I
had no idea about the play before I was asked to act in it. Of course, I had seen some
representation of this dance drama. But Q has adapted it in a very refreshing way.

I have just finished shooting another docu-fiction called Saree, also directed by Q. The saree is
the oldest living garment in the world. The six yards of unstitched woven fabric is the national
costume of the women of India, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. The story of Saree is beautifully woven
through a love story and how desirable a woman looks in a saree.
Q, MY MENTOR
People keep asking me why I work only with Q. To them, Ill
say I am just happy working with him. We work well as a
team. Q worked in advertising for 12 years in India, Maldives
and Sri Lanka. He directed over 50 television commercials,
winning various awards on the way. Then, inspired by the
independent films of Europe and Japan, he retired
voluntarily and shifted trade and city. He returned to
Kolkata and started a progressive art collective called
Overdose, making original films, design and music.

Qs films have a strong social and political message and

we all believe in that message. Working in his films inspires
me, makes me happy and hence Im not keen on looking
for work anywhere else. If something comes my way which
I like, I do it, but otherwise I am happy doing Qs films.

FROM LUST TO LOVE

Love has changed me. What I felt for Q five years ago is not the same as what I feel now. It has
been 10 years since we got together. To have a successful relationship, love counts. But love is
only 2% of the relationship. The remaining 98% is about how you maintain the relationship. Thats
what we do. We are very committed and serious about our relationship. I dont know what keeps
us together must be the fact that we share the same passion for cinema. But Q is certainly the
most important person in my life because he is not only my lover, but also my teacher. The kind
of cinema he has introduced me to, the books I read and the lifestyle I lead, everything is
influenced by him.

CINEMA IS MY LIFE
I eat, drink, sleep and breathe cinema. Every single hour of the day I am thinking or talking films
either ideating or discussing the production and planning work. People often ask me how it
feels to be the top actress of contemporary alternative cinema and I say its been a struggle.
Because what we are doing is not mainstream cinema. It is out of the box. From producing it to
organizing the funds, we do everything for our film. And it requires 100% dedication. The silver lining
though is that alternative cinema is booming not only in India but across the world. There are so
many Indian directors like Kiran Rao, Q, Anand Gandhi, Anurag Kashyap and Dibakar Banerjee
making such fabulous films. So our work is looking up and our struggle seems to be bearing fruit

Sudeshna Chakravarty