Jana Felice Gonzalez

BA Political Science-Psychology IV
Psychology 195- Counseling
February 13, 2014

Genogram Analysis

My family is one of the topics that I am not really hesitant to talk about. Its weird because I can
talk about my family for hours and I cant get enough of it. I cant stop from smiling when I tell
my friends about the opposite personalities of my parents and my sisters interests. They are the
people that brighten up my day. They continually encourage me to dance in the rain and enjoy
the bumpy road. With them, there are no illusions, no faade, no fear of walls breaking, because I
can be my self and feel happy about it. I do recognize that I am satisfied with my family and if
given the chance to choose a new one, Id still choose them. However, I wish I could claim that
my family is perfect. Just like everything in this world, there are flaws; there are hidden bruises
that we long to forget.

As you can see in my genogram, I am close to most of my family members. I am very close to
my parents and my sister probably because were a small group. We werent this close before but
there were things- very hard things that we learned along the way that made our relationship
stronger. However, we have our fair share of petty fights with each other, but they arent really
that serious. Mamas always the dominant person in the family. Her decisions matter a lot. I
cant say that Papa is subordinate than her because he would often voice out what he thinks and
he has the power of the purse. But Mama always captures my sisters attention and mine. I think
we believe her more than we believe Papa. Shes not really demanding, quite the opposite
actually. She is very open-minded unlike Papa who is very conservative. But maybe because she
lets us decide things on our own that we listen to her more often. Thats why when arguments
are raised my sister and I would back Mama up. Papa has no choice but accept defeat.

I am also very close to my cousins especially to my mothers side because I grew up with them. I
treat them as my barkada including my aunts, uncles and Lola. Unfortunately, I never met my
Lolo whom all of them looked up to. There is also one person from the group that I am not very
close with, the adopted son of my uncle. My uncle is a doctor whos also working in a
foundation. He adopted this boy who was very malnourished years ago in a far-flung village. We
thought he would grow up nice to us but he was always messing around with us. He would even
throw stones at us that I grew up disliking him. Although things have changed through the years
and he has learned his manners, he remains to be distant to me and to most of my cousins as
well.

Things were also rough when my two uncles had a grave misunderstanding. Mama and the rest
of my aunts and uncles were distant towards their youngest sibling. He and his family would not
attend our traditional gatherings anymore even if they were invited. Mama would not explicitly
tell me what happened, but I know that it has something to do with his wife changing his
personality. Its also because of this quarrel that I feel distant towards their entire family
including my cousins.
On the other hand, Papas side has always been prim and proper. They are not like my Mamas
side who were always jolly and goofy probably because they live a simple and humble life.
Unlike Mamas side, they were always serious and concerned about achievements and
properties. This was probably the reason why I feel distant towards most of them. I am only
close to my aunt, the youngest sister of my Papa and her eldest daughter. They always try to
reach out and they always find time to chat with us. I could not say that my fathers side was
always close because they were all preoccupied with their respective careers. I would say too
preoccupied that it went to the point when they were too competitive towards each other. Added
to that, Lolo was always distant because of his Spanish upbringing and because he was a seafarer
so he was often away when Papa and his siblings were growing up. Lola was always the one who
established stability in the family, but when she died, things changed. My Papa and my uncle had
a huge fight years ago. I once confronted my Papa about it back when I was in high school while
we were in a road trip and he was teary-eyed when he shared that he tried to reconcile with my
uncle. But my uncle was too proud of himself that he could not apologize to Papa. Ever since
then, I never asked Papa about it. I would however jokingly tease him when church priests would
discuss on reconciliation and forgiveness. I knew that he has always wanted to make peace with
his brother, unfortunately, my uncle would always make excuses and distant himself. I do wish
that there would come a time when I would see them hugging each other, crying and admitting
how much they miss each others company.

From looking at my familys dynamics, I know there a lot to be improved. There are a lot of
reconciliations to be done. It is very hard to see myself as a therapist who would actually carry
out counseling sessions for my family for the very reason that I am too attached with the
problem. But with regards to our adopted cousin, I think its not really that serious to be in need
of therapeutic intervention. Talking things out will eventually deduce the distance. The
problems of the older persons in the family might need counseling strategies to facilitate them
towards reconciliation. I would not recommend to immediately put them in one room and allow
them to confront each other for these fights have been running for years. I think it would be a
step-by-step process. I would start with asking questions to both parties to cultivate different
responses from them and understand different perspectives. I guess they will hear me out
because they dont see me as the center of the problem. Then, perhaps, I would design activities
that would help them confront the root of the problem to be able to solve it. Techniques would
likely depend on the answers or the perspectives of the different parties. I am not quite sure if
paradoxical interventions will work. Most probably, I would direct them to go home especially
with regards to my uncles as well as my Papa. They might be able to understand their
relationship with the family and to know how it has affected their development.