A NEW BATTLE FOR GODLY MANHOOD BEGINS

November 13, 2013 by scottwilliams Leave a Comment

Imagine if we could call men from all walks of life to become courageous, godly leaders in their own lives,
marriages, churches and communities. Well, we can. And the new battle for godly manhood starts
with you.

FamilyLife proudly presents the Stepping Up Super Saturday Video Event, a DVD-based kit designed for
an all-day mens event. High quality videos deliver dramatic stories, humorous vignettes, man-on-the-
street interviews, and expert teaching from 12 renowned mens ministry leaders, like Dennis Rainey,
Robert Lewis, Tony Dungy and Bill Bennett.

On the Saturday before the Super Bowl, you can host a life-changing one day video event that will call
and equip men to Step Up to godly manhood! Its easy, well show you how.

Were praying that thousands of men across America will host a Stepping Up Super Saturday: one life-
changing day that could turn the tide for men in your community, and across America. Last year over
20,000 men attended a Super Saturday Video Event with rave reviews.

Loved the event. I only heard positive comments from the men in our church. It was well done, we could
do it for a reasonable cost, and had 60 men involved in a church of 350 (men, women and children.)
Thats pretty good. I think it hit where the men were at. In the closing comments we had 10-12 men share
they were deeply challenged by I could tell by their comments that the material struck a chord through
which the Holy Spirit is working.

Take advantage of our Super Saturday Kick-off Special and use this voucher that you can redeem for a
FREE Stepping Up Video Event Kit ($149 value) when you purchase at least 10 manuals for your event.

Filed Under: Media & entertainment, Spiritual life, Stepping Up events, Stepping Up products, Steps to
Manhood Tagged: 2-1-14, Bill Bennett, courageous manhood,Dennis Rainey, familylife, man up, robert
lewis, stepping up super saturday, Super Bowl, Super Saturday Kickoff Special, Tony Dungy

THE MOST COURAGEOUS THING A HUSBAND CAN DO WITH HIS WIFE

January 30, 2013 by Dennis Rainey 3 Comments

Over the years Ive challenged men to take the initiative and improve their marriages in another way. This
action requires bedrock courage.
No, its not initiating sex. By comparison, thats risky indeed, but nowhere nearly as challenging as
praying daily with your wife.

Now some men already are praying daily with their wives. But Ive seen that look of hesitation and even
fear in the eyes of many men when Ive given them this challenge. Its way out of their comfort zone.

I am not certain that Barbara and I would still be married had it not been for this spiritual discipline of
experiencing God together in our marriage. It has kept us from building walls in our marriage, it has forced
us to forgive one another, and it has kept us focused in the same direction.

THE POWER OF PRAYING TOGETHER

A businessman who works for a well-known corporation took my challenge a number of years ago. He and
his wife had been married for years and had two children. At the time, he was experiencing some
difficulties in his marriagehe was angry over the lack of time they spent together, both relationally and
physically; he had begun drinking (again) and they had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for two years.
They were not considering divorce and remained committed to the marriage, but, in his words, we were
both on different pages, spiritually and mentally. She wanted to have Bible studies together and pray, but I
was not willing, due to my inner anger at her.

A few years later, my path crossed his again, and he wrote me that when he took the initiative to pray daily
with his wife, their relationship was transformed.

Over a period of time and consistently praying together, we have seen amazing changes in our lives.
Quickly the level of anger subsided. Each night our prayers became easier and meant more. We quickly
seemed to move onto the same page, our attitude toward each other changed, and we began liking each
other again.

We also saw changes in our parenting, we started talking more and having in-depth conversations. Over
the last few years our conversations have turned to deep meaningful reviews of our lives and the mistakes
weve made. We share hurts, frustrations and worries. We both seem to want to help each other and
support the other in times of need.

As we learned to love and respect each other, our sex life has grown into a beautiful expression of our
love and is more satisfying than ever. Our walk with God has grown deeper, individually and as a couple.
Our lives seem to be connected on a spiritual level as never before. As with any marriage, problems still
arise, but now we fell equipped to deal with the issues in a positive way.
The Lord has done a mighty work in our marriage and we contribute much of that success to the fact that
every night we approach the Throne of Grace together. It truly is His grace that has sustained us. In fact,
many times we have grinned that we know God exists. Only He could salvage our train wreck of a
marriage and not only make it survive, but thrive.

Can you imagine what would happen in your marriage, in your family, if you showed that type of initiative
and courage? My encouragement is to try it. If you miss a day, then pick up again tomorrow and pray
together. Ive found that the men who initiate prayer with their wives have a dramatically different
relationship with them in less than two years.

Adapted by permission from Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood, 2011 by Dennis Rainey,
FamilyLife Publishing.

Filed Under: Being a husband, Courage, Leading her, Prayer Tagged:courageous husband, courageous
manhood, Dennis Rainey, men stepping up,most courageous thing, praying together, stepping up blog

DEFINING COURAGE (WITH LINKUP FOR BLOGGERS)

January 21, 2013 by jeffabram 6 Comments

Our culture today offers a marred picture of what it means to have courage. For example, in recent times
we have seen revered athletes own up to their failings such as Tiger Woods admission of serial adultery,
Michael Phelps admission to recreational drug use and last weeks confession by Lance Armstrong to
Oprah concerning the use of performance-enhancing drugs. It seems the dutiful on camera confession is
all that is required for a reputation to be restored and the shamed are upheld for having the courage to
come clean.
Its one thing to confess and come clean, but lets not pretend its courageous to deceive the public for
years (in Woods and Armstrongs case) and only come clean when the evidence is stacked against you.
Even Oprah said of her interview, that Armstrong still seemed to be playing semantics, not wanting to fully
admit his wrongs, still skirting the truth. We know that it takes a real man, a really courageous person, to
admit when theyve done wrong by others and change. True courage is modeled for us in the Bible, but
sadly, celebrated confessions reflect our societys tendency toward a very superficial standard of virtue
and character.

So wed like you to join us in a linkup to define real courage. If you have a blog, write a post about a time
you (or your spouse) were faced with a choice that took courage and link your post back here using the
link up tools at the bottom of this post. If you dont have a blog, feel free to leave your definition of courage
in the comments section of this post.

We want to help redefine courage in America today, so every blogger who participates in the Defining
Courage Linkup will receive a copy of Dennis Raineys book Stepping Up, a Call to Courageous
Manhood. One lucky, randomly selected winner will receive a Stepping Up Event Kit. Posts must be
linked by January 28 to be eligible for the giveaways.

Plan to participate in a Stepping Up Super Saturday event on February 2 where Dennis Rainey, Voddie
Baucham, Bill Bennett, Matt Chandler, James MacDonald, Robert Lewis, Mark Driscoll, and others help
you tackle some of the biggest issues facing men today.

Linky Tools subscription expired. List not available.

Filed Under: Courage, Stepping Up events Tagged: courageous manhood, Dennis
Rainey, familylife, men stepping up, men steppingup, stepping up, stepping up event, stepping up super
saturday

THE ONE THING A MAN OF COURAGE DOES

December 12, 2012 by Dennis Rainey 8 Comments
Over the years Ive challenged men to take the initiative and improve their marriages in a way that requires
bedrock courage.

No, its not initiating sex. By comparison, thats risky indeed, but nowhere nearly as challenging as
praying daily with your wife.

Now, some men are already praying daily with their wives. But Ive seen that look of hesitation and even
fear in the eyes of many men when Ive given them this challenge. Its way out of their comfort zone.

Im not certain that Barbara and I would still be married had it not been for this spiritual discipline of
experiencing God together in our marriage. It has kept us from building walls in our marriage, it has forced
us to forgive each other, and it has kept us focused in the same direction.

A businessman who works for a well-known corporation took my challenge a number of years ago. He
and his wife had been married for years and had two children. At the time, he was experiencing some
difficulties in his marriagehe was angry over the lack of time they spent together, both relationally and
sexually; he had begun drinking (again); and they had been sleeping in separate bedrooms for two years.
They were not considering divorce and remained committed to the marriage, but in his words, We were
both on different pages, spiritually and mentally. She wanted to have Bible studies together and pray, but I
wasnt willing, due to my inner anger at her.

A few years later, our paths crossed again, and he wrote to tell me that when he took the initiative to pray
daily with his wife, their relationship was transformed:

Over a period of time and consistently praying together, we have seen amazing changes in our lives.
Quickly the level of anger subsided. Each night our prayers became easier and meant more.

We seemed to move onto the same page, our attitude toward each other changed, and we began liking
each other again. We also saw changes in our parenting; we started talking more and having in-depth
conversations. Over the last few years, our conversations have turned to deep, meaningful reviews of our
lives and the mistakes weve made. We share hurts, frustrations, and worries. We both seem to want to
help each other and support the other in times of need.

As we learned to love and respect each other, our sex life has grown into a beautiful expression of our
love and is more satisfying than ever. Our walk with God has grown deeper, individually and as a couple.
Our lives seem to be connected on a spiritual level as never before. As with any marriage, problems still
arise, but now we feel equipped to deal with the issues in a positive way.

Jesus Christ has done a mighty work in our marriage, and we attribute much of that success to the fact
that every night we approach the Throne of Grace together. It truly is His grace that has sustained us.
Only He could salvage our train wreck of a marriage and not only make it survive but thrive.

Can you imagine what would happen in your marriage, in your family, if you demonstrated that type of
initiative and courage? My encouragement is to try it. If you miss a day, then pick up again tomorrow and
pray together. Ive found that the men who initiate prayer with their wives have a dramatically different
relationship with them in less than two years.

Do you have a similar fear of prayer? Not sure youd say it right or that you might not say it well? God
isnt interested in your posture, words or vocabulary. Hes interested in you, your heart and your
family. When you take the initiative to lead in this way, God will do some supernatural work you have not
even thought about. And, I bet your wife will actually find it romantic when you lead her in prayer with
sincerity and intent.

Give it a try.

If you have a story about praying with your wife, challenges you faced and overcame or hesitancies today,
share them below because I can guarantee you that youre not the only one who has or does struggle to
lead your wife/marriage in this way. Be strong and courageous, men.

Adapted from the book, Stepping Up by Dennis Rainey, FamilyLife Publishing, 2011.

Filed Under: Being a husband, Courage, Prayer Tagged: be courageous, Being courageous, courageous
manhood, Dennis Rainey, familylife, man of courage,marriage trouble, men stepping
up, mensteppingup, overcoming challenges,pray with wife, praying with your wife, stepping up, stepping
up blog, stepping up super saturday, super saturday event, take the initiative

THE MOST COURAGEOUS DECISION (PART 1)

October 19, 2012 by Dennis Rainey 3 Comments

(This is an excerpt from the book, Stepping Up by Dennis Raineythis excerpt begins after a discussion
about what it means to make a decision for Christ. If you havent or if you have questions about what
that means, you can email us at info@mensteppingup.com, purchase the book, Stepping Up and read
the section describing this or check out this website, Cru.org)

Once youve made the most courageous decision to yield your life to Christ, the rest of your life lies ahead.
There are some additional decisions that will mark your passage as a man.

The first is: Will you let God define your identity as a man? When a man defines himself and attempts to
determine his identity apart from God, he is left to compare himself with others-a low and dangerous
standard. A real man finds his essence and identity in his Creator.

No man will understand who he is and what his ultimate assignment on planet Earth is apart from knowing
God. This is why A. W. Tozer wrote in his book, Knowledge of the Holy,

What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.

In fact, I believe that one of the reasons were short of real men today is that weve lost the fear of God.
The majority of proverbs in the Old Testament were written by a father to his son to introduce him to God
and equip him for life. Proverbs 1:7 tells us clearly, The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;
fools despise wisdom and instruction. The word wisdom is an important word for men. It means that we
are to have skill in everyday living. We are to live life skillfully, the way our Creator designed it to be lived.
Fearing God is the starting point for being a real man.

To fear God means that I hold Him in reverential awe. It means I see Him for who He is-the sovereign
King. When I revere God for who He is, I can rightly determine who I am as a man.

As I study Scripture and understand who God is, I realize that I am not the center of the universe. God is. I
realize that I dont call the shots in life. God does.

This means I humble myself in submission to Him. I make choices realizing that God is everywhere
present, sees all, and knows all. I live my life not to please myself but to please Him. I understand that I
will someday give an account of my life to God and that His presence in my life motivates me to turn away
from temptation, evil, and sin. That is why this is the most courageous decision we make in this life.

What have you experienced when it comes to making this decision in your life or maybe havent made?

Tomorrows PostWhat other courageous decision must you make in life?

Filed Under: Courage, Spiritual life Tagged: courageous manhood, decision for Christ, Dennis
Rainey, fear of god, men stepping up blog, mensteppingup, most courageous decision

12 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY MENTORS

August 21, 2012 by Dennis Rainey Leave a Comment

For many of us, mentoring is a word we are familiar with from the academic and business world. Yet most
of us havent really experienced what it means to be a part of a mentoring relationship. Here are two
things I know and believe with all my heart: Men need a mentor, and men need to be a mentor. And for
many of us, one is harder than the other.

To a man, I can guarantee that almost all of us want to be mentored. But we dont see that we have
anything to offer others so we dont feel adequate to be a mentor. Yet without one, there isnt the
other. Without a mentor, there is no mentoring. So as you grow in your manhood, its time to start
thinking and praying about opportunities to mentor another man.
As a man stands on the manhood step, its a good thing to be facing upward, thinking about mentoring. As
you contemplate becoming a mentor, I want to encourage you to begin asking God to give you a couple of
men to mentor. This may not be the most courageous thing youve ever done, but I promise you, it will be
one of the most important and satisfying things you will ever do as a man.

Previously I shared a list of 12 things that I teach those I mentor. Here are just a few of the things Ive
learned from mentors whove come alongside me through the years:

The best measure of what a man can do is what a man has done.
Making bad decisions helps you learn to make good decisions.
Once the facts are clear, usually the right decision jumps out at you.
Communication is not what is said but what is heard.
Every man needs margin in his calendar for the unexpected at work and at home.
No amount of success at work will compensate for failure at home.
Debt is dangerous.
Lifelong male friendships are challenging, but every man needs a friend who can speak truth into his
life.
A man needs to be accountable to another man.
Praying with his wife is the most powerful thing a husband can do every day.
Every man is leaving a legacy, so why not be intentional about the legacy you leave?
A life lived without God, the Scriptures, and complete, daily surrender to Jesus Christ is a wasted life.
What about you? Was there a man or group of men who invested some of these truths into your life ? Do
you have someone you can turn to when life whips you into discouragement or even despair? Do you
take the time to invest in someone else? Are there boys in your life (church, neighborhood, work, etc.)
who are without a dad or could use another mans perspective on life yours?

If you wait to feel adequate enough to mentor, you never will. God doesnt equip those who think they
have all the answers. He honors those who take a courageous step of faith and equips you to accomplish
what youve taken the initiative to do when its done for His Glory And, taking care of the next generation
and preparing them for Gods work is for His Glory.

You can do this, men. You can be the man God uses in the life of another young man to unleash him
toward Gods purpose.

It takes a little courage. Are you that man? Step up and see God work.

Excerpted from Stepping Up (Kindle Locations 2297-2314). FamilyLife Publishing. Kindle Edition.
Filed Under: Accountability, Being a man, Being a mentor, Prayer, Spiritual life,Your work Tagged: being
a man, being a mentor, being mentored, courageous manhood, Dennis Rainey, friends, men stepping
up, mentoring, mentoring relationships, mentors, stepping up, stepping up blog, stepping up book

YOU'RE MORE COURAGEOUS THAN YOU THINK!

August 14, 2012 by Dennis Rainey 3 Comments

Are You a Courageous Man?

I love asking men, Whats the most courageous thing youve ever done?

When a man pulls back the veneer and asks a penetrating question like this, an awkward silence can
suddenly descend, sucking the words right out of the room. Mens brains sort of catch and hang up. You
can almost see them spinning and searching, trying to process. And yet Ive discovered that even though
the responses are often slow in coming, its a question men truly love to answer.

Ive heard stirring stories of men doing their duty at key points in their lives. Being faithful to their wives
when nobody was looking. Giving up pornography and confessing to their wives. Tackling difficult issues
with their children. Doing what is right in the workplace, even when its not convenient or profitable. Many
men have told about conquering their fears to step up and square their relationships with their fathers:
looking a father in the eyes and forgiving him, honoring a father who didnt always deserve it, disagreeing
with a father on a major decision, and standing their ground.

And yes, Ive heard some phenomenal stories of warheroic soldiers who grabbed grenades in midair
and threw them back at the enemy! Ive determined that the man who claims hes never done anything
courageous doesnt understand what courage really isor how often he faces decisions that require
courage. It takes courage to step up.

So, whats the most courageous thing YOUVE ever done?

Excerpted with permission from Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood, by Dennis Rainey,
FamilyLife Publishing, 2012.

Filed Under: Courage Tagged: adventurous men, Being courageous, being strong, courageous
manhood, Dennis Rainey, facing adversity, leading your family, overcoming trials, stepping up
8 LESSONS I LEARNED FROM THE VALLEY
August 9, 2012 by Dennis Rainey Leave a Comment

LESSONS LEARNED FROM THE VALLEY ABOUT STEPPING UP AS A MAN

The following lessons were gleaned from a traumatic event in the life of our family. In my book, Stepping
Up, I chronicled the week we spent as a family rejoicing, grieving, sharing, and ultimately celebrating the
short life of little Molly, my daughter Rebeccas daughter. Molly was on the earth so short a time but left a
huge impact on all of us and thousand of others who have walked through this with us. And, in the midst
of that storm, I was able to turn to God and these were the lessons that I learned out of that period.

In order for a man to be courageous, he must know the truth about who God is. Courage that
overcomes fear comes from convictions, and convictions about life and death come from the truth of
Scripture.
The easiest thing for a man to do in a devastating crisis is to move into denial and do nothing.
Another good man standing alongside you will help you be courageous when journeying through the
valley. Bill Mutz was that man in my valley.
It takes repeated acts of courage for a man to truly face and process his emotions. The natural
tendency is to run away from them or deny they exist or to think you will be less of a man because
you sob uncontrollably. Pleasure and pain were both meant to be experienced by men. For me, that
took courage.
It takes repeated acts of courage for a man to give others freedom to process their emotions
differently from him and not be at the same place he is.
A man is no less courageous if faced with a situation that he cant fix and about which he doesnt
know what to do, but cries out to God in prayer, Help me, God!
A man can have doubts and still step up.
A man doesnt have to understand all of Gods purposes to step up and be His man.
Men, as you think of the trials and valleys youve trudged through (or maybe youre currently on an
adventure in the desert) what lessons have you learned or are you learning?

Excerpted with permission from Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood, FamilyLife Publishers,
2012.
Filed Under: Courage, Life's trials Tagged: courageous manhood, Dennis and Barbara Rainey, Dennis
Rainey, life's trials, men stepping up, mighty molly, mutz family, rainey family, stepping up blog, when life
is tough

WELCOME TO THE STEPPING UP BLOG!

August 3, 2012 by Dennis Rainey Leave a Comment
Welcome. Youve stepped up and have shown you want to be a man of courage. We are glad youve
come by our new blog, Stepping Up! Thesimulcast many of you participated in on August 4 is just the
start of a new movement of men who are tired of being passive and who want to make a difference in their
lives, their families, their communities and around the globe.

You know, it takes a courageous person to stand up for truth in the midst of a culture that is always pulling
at you. One of my favorite quotes is from Winston Churchill, There comes into the life of every man a
task for which he and he alone is uniquely suited. What a shame if that moment finds him either unwilling
or unprepared for that which would become his finest hour.

Is it that time for you? Maybe youre facing a tough situation at work that requires you to be courageous
and make a right decision, even if it means you might lose your job. Or you might be facing
some challenges in your marriage and others tell you to pack it in when you know that isnt what God
wants. It could be that you or someone you love is facing a daunting medical diagnosis and being
courageous just means getting up each day and facing another day of pain and trials.

Jesus told us wed have days like this, In this world you will have troubles but take heart because Ive
overcome the world. Courageous men stand in the face of adversity and take the next step when every
fiber of their body wants to shrink up and fade away. Courage is also evident when anger rises within and,
with the help of the Holy Spirit, you withhold words that would tear down your wife or child and instead
provide a place of grace.

There are many facets to being a man of courage. Many of you have stories that would inspire others to
make tough, courageous choices. This blog will highlight stories of failure, success, joy and
sorrow. Stepping Up is what we all need to do. But we cant do it alone. We need each other and we
need the leading of the Lord if we are going to have any chance at being men of courage.

So sign up to join us in the journey. Sign up for email or getting the blog posts via RSS feeds. And dont
forget to share your stories with us and letting us know, Whats the most courageous thing you have ever
done?

Looking forward to stepping up together.

Dennis Rainey