Describe a beautiful island.

At least 450 words (25 marks) Mishima, The Sound of Waves,

p. 3 4
The island has two spots with surpassingly beautiful views. One is Yashiro Shrine, which
faces northwest and stands near the crest of the island. The shrine commands an
uninterrupted view of the wide expanse of the Gulf of Ise, and the island lies directly in the
straits connecting the gulf with the Pacific Ocean. The Chita Peninsula approaches from the
north, and the Atsumi Peninsula stretches away to the northeast. To the west you can catch
glimpses of the coastline between the ports of Uji-Yamada and Yokkaichi in Tsu.
By climbing the two hundred stone steps that lead up to the shrine and looking back from
the spot where there is a tori guarded by a pair of stone temple dogs, you can see how
these distant shores cradle within their arms the storied Gulf of Ise, unchanged through the
centuries. Once there were two torii pines growing here, their branches twisted and
trained into the shape of a tori, providing a curious frame for the view, but they died some
years ago.
Just now the needles of the surrounding pine trees are still dull-green from winter, but
already the spring sea-weeds are staining the sea red near the shore. The northwest
monsoon blows steadily from the direction of Tsu, making it still cold to enjoy the view.
Yashiro Shrine is dedicated to Watatsumi-no-Mikoto, god of the sea. This is an island of
fishermen and it is natural that the inhabitants should be devout worshippers of this god.
They are forever praying for calm seas, and the very first thing they do upon being rescued
from some peril of the sea is to make a votive offering at the sea-gods shrine.

The other most beautiful view on the island is from the lighthouse near the summit of Mt.
Higashi, which falls in a cliff to the sea. At the foot of the cliff the current of the Irako
Channel sets up an increasing roar. On windy days these narrow straits connecting the Gulf
of Ise and the Pacific are filled with whirlpools. The tip of the Atsumi Peninsula juts out from
across the channel, and on its rocky and desolate shore stands the tiny, unmanned beacon
of Cape Irako. Southeast from the Uta-jima lighthouse you can see the Pacific, and to the
northeast, across Atsumi Bay and beyond the mountain ranges, you can see Mt. Fuji, say at
dawn when the west wind is blowing strong.
407 words
Task 1) Assess Mishimas descriptive writing using the following criteria:
Paragraphing
o Progression from one paragraph to the next.
o Each paragraph considers a different aspect of the description
Ideas
o A range of ideas being described and developed
Details
o Language is used to describe people, objects and places. The writer says a lot about a
little.
Imagery
o Metaphor
o Adjectives / Adverbs
o Sensory language
o Onomatopoeia
o Alliteration
o Personification
o Simile
o Verbs

o The above language help to give an impression of reality

o The above language helps to create a convincing, original, overall picture with
varieties of focus
Vocabulary
o Some interesting words
o A range of vocabulary
o A consistently wide range of appropriate vocabulary
Sentence types
o Simple
o Compound
o Complex
o Compound complex
o Accurate but repetitive use of sentence types
o Appropriate and varied use of sentence types
Punctuation
o Accurate punctuation
 o Varied and accurate punctuation

Task 2) Use the GCSE Descriptive Writing mark scheme to give Mishima a mark out of 13 for
content and 12 for skills and accuracy.

Content: /13

Style and Accuracy: /12

What did Mishima do well? (2 aspects of writing)

Please give Mishima a target (1 aspect of writing)

Task 3) Comment on how does Mishima use imagery to create a powerful description?
What overall message is Mishima trying to convey about the island? Highlight 4 words or
phrases that Mishima has used.
Then you need to copy the word or phrase.

Quote: write the word / phrase using quotation marks

Denotation: what does the word / phrase actually mean? A dictionary definition? (Keep this
to ONE sentence)
Connotation: how does the word / phrase make the reader think and feel about the island?
Zoom in on the most important word (s) and give about three connotations.

Repeat the above process so that you have 4 words or phrases.

Then:

Overall writers message: what was the writer trying to say?

Example:
The shrine commands an uninterrupted view
This means that from the shrine, there was a clear view of the rest of the island of the sea.
The writer has used personification in commands. This has connotations of being high up,
having a prominent place and perhaps being majestic in some way. The adjective
uninterrupted suggests that the view was smooth, peaceful and that the excellent views
could be seen as far as the horizon.
After I have done this for 4 words or phrases:
Overall, the writer has used imagery to
Describe the scene as you enter the lighthouse and the lighthouse-keepers wife is
preparing dinner. At least 450 words. (25 marks) Mishima, The Sound of Waves, p. 9 10.
How might you make this more descriptive?

The residence provided the lighthouse-keeper was just to the side of a flight of concrete
steps leading up to the lighthouse itself and had its own small vegetable garden. Describe in
detail the lighthouse and the steps. What do they look like? Use a simile? Personification?

As the boy approached he could see the wifes shadow moving about on the glass door of
the kitchen. She was evidently preparing supper. What was she doing? How was she doing
it? Sensory language as you look through the window? What can you smell? What can you
hear, taste, touch?

He announced himself by calling from outside and the wife opened the door. Oh its you,
Shinji-san, she said. The boy held the fish out without a word. The woman took it from him
and called out loudly over her shoulder, this time using the boys family name: Father, Kubo-
san has brought us fish. From another the good natured voice of the lighthouse-keeper
answered familiarly: Thank you, thank you. Come on in, Shinji boy. The boy was still
standing hesitantly at the kitchen door. The halibut had already been placed on a white
enamelware platter, where it lay faintly gasping, blood oozing from its gills, streaking its
smooth white skin. Describe the room. What can you see hear and smell as the food is
cooking. Zoom in on the fish.

Your task is to rewrite this section so that it is more descriptive and so that it matches the
criteria of our GCSE Descriptive writing task. In first person, describe the scene.
Paragraph 1: Give a wide, panoramic view of the scene. Describe the steps and the
lighthouse.
Paragraph 2: Narrow the view. What can you see through the window? Focus on description
and not story-telling.
Paragraph 3: What can you see and hear as you enter the room? We are not told much so
what do you imagine the room to be like. Use plenty of descriptive and sensory language.
Paragraph 4: Zoom in on the fish that is now sitting on the plate. You really need to expand
on Mishimas description. You might touch the scales. How does it smell? Not fishy but can
you link it to a memory that Shinji might have? e.g. the smell of the fishing nets, the smell of
the ocean it is unpleasant or does he like this smell? What will he associate the smell with
money? Hardwork? Success? Happiness?