Transcript of the talk "The value of acceptance.

" by
SwmiParamrthanandaSaraswatiJi. Grammatical and
typos are mine & shall not be attributed to Swmiji.
Into the talk,
We have several religious function coming, so that we can use religious function for
bonding with Bhagavan which we consider as our primary relationship. In the world,
we have got several relationship, in the family outside the family etc. But according
to our astra, all those relationships are incidental relationship which can maximum
last for 100 years, whereas, there is one relationship which is eternal relationship
that is with the Lord, the creator. Every one of us as a jva from vyvahrika di,
everyone is related to Ishwara, as he is being the cause of everything.
Therefore, between the jva and Ishwara, there is kriya-krana sambhandha, the
lord is the universal parent and we are all the children. And as the ardhandiswara,
he is both the father and the mother, phahamasya jagataha mataha dhatha
phmahaha and therefore, this relationship is the most stable relationship and
therefore we have to nourish and preserve this stable relationship, and not only this
is the most stable relationship, this is the most reliable relationship also, which we
can depend upon in our day-to-day life.
Therefore in and through all these functions, we want to nourish this Bakthi or this
relationship with Ishwara and this nourishment of Bakthi has got two fold benefits.
One is the spiritual benefit, different kinds of pj will give purity of mind and
gradually we will get a desire for liberation which is our primary goal and thereafter,
the very same Bakthi will give an opportunity to pursue moka, an opportunity to gain
spiritual knowledge and ultimately up to moka this Bakthi itself will take.
This is the spiritual benefit of the Bakthi we nourish, in addition to the spiritual
benefit, we do have some worldly benefit also. Even if the person is not interested in
moka, still Bakthi is worth nourishing, because it has got some practical benefits
also. I would like to discuss the practical benefit of nourishing Bakthi in our heart. I
would like to share some thought with regard to one practical benefit.
All of us human being have got a basic psychological problem. It is in the form of an
attitudinal problem which is natural and which is universal also. And what is this
problem? We have got mental resistance when we have to face difficult situations in
life. We have got mental or psychological resistance when we have to face difficult
situations in life. By mental resistance, what I mean is, we don't have a willingness to
go through the situation, we have got unwillingness to go through difficult situation
and it is natural because any difficult situation comes in life we consider, we look
upon it as a threat to our own survival. The conscious mind backed by subconscious
mind perceives as a survival threat, the moment there is a difficult situation, there is
a possibility of a difficult situation, and therefore instinctively there is an emotional
resistance in the form of "I'm not willing to go-through the difficult situation."
This natural resistance to face difficult situations in life is a very serious
psychological problem we all have. Why do I say it is a serious problem? Because in
life there is one fact which we all have to acknowledge that fact is, every living
beings, every human being will have to necessarily confront difficult situations in life.
It is the law of life, it is an integral part of life, that every living being, every human
being will have to confront difficult situations in life.
If a person is very skilled, very wealthy, very capable, and takes lot of precautions in
life, perhaps he can reduce the frequency of the difficult situation, perhaps, he can
reduce the intensity of the difficult situation, perhaps, he can reduce the duration of
the difficult situation, but he can never can avoid difficult situation 100%.
All our puric stories of Dharmaputra, Nala etc all the stories are meant to reveal
this fact, life means - "Difficult situations are integral part." Not only emperors had to
face, even Bhagavan himself, when he comes in the form of avatra, whether it is
Rma or Ka, even the avatra confront difficult situations. Therefore, what is the
law of life? One has to confront difficult situation. What is our emotional problem? I'm
not willing to face difficult situation, these two are at loggerhead. What is the law of
life? I have to face difficult situation and what is my natural and emotional attitude?
I'm not willing to confront difficult situations.
These 2 are diagonally opposite situations and creates lot of problems in human life.
Difficult situations are bound to come is one law, my mind is not willing to face it is
another. These 2 together creates lot of problems. What is the problem? Whenever,
there is a difficult situation, either it has arrived or there is a possibility of an arrival,
the moment that looms in front of my mind, parallely along with the arrival of the
difficult situation or the possibility of the arrival internally within my mind, the
emotional resistance also parallely raises. Therefore, at any time, when a difficult
situation comes, we have to confront 2 problems simultaneously. One is the external
difficult situation and the second is the internal mental resistance. What is
resistance? Unwillingness of the mind to go through the situation. So, difficult
situation is external problem, mental resistance is an internal problem.
Whenever a difficult situation comes, I have to face 2 enemies simultaneously. One
is bhya chatru (Difficult situation) another is ntara chatru (Inner enemy).
Unfortunately, when these 2 enemies are there, we generally notice the external
enemy, but we don't recognize the internal enemy of resistance which is perhaps
more powerful and dangerous than the external enemy.
This resistance is a serious mental problem because it causes several adverse
consequences, what is going to cause several adverse consequences? Not the
external enemy of the difficult situation, but the internal enemy of mental resistance
causes several adverse consequences. Only when we understand the
consequences, we will know how serious this internal problem is. When I don't know
how serious it is, I will never try to remedy that. One problem, the emotional
resistance produces is, it magnifies the difficult situation.
When there is mental resistance, the difficult situation is there, it has got a magnitude
and when there is a mental resistance it becomes a magnifying glass and the
magnitude of the difficult situation is enlarged and there is a magnification. And the
magnification of the difficulty and the pain is directly proportional to the resistance,
greater the resistance, greater the magnification. Not only, the difficulty but also the
pain also.
What is the first adverse consequence of our inner enemy called resistance?
Magnification of the external problem. What is the second disadvantage? When the
problem is magnified into many times, when the difficult situation is magnified multi
fold, naturally my mind perceives a larger than life problem and therefore the mind is
overpowered by the magnified problem. The mind is overwhelmed, it is overpowered
and the mind gets paralyzed and the paralyzed mind cannot use its resources, its
skills to handle the difficult situation. The second problem is the resistance obstructs
my problem solving skills. What is the definition of resistance? Unwillingness to go
through difficult situation, this resistance obstructs my problem solving skills. This is
the second negative consequence. What is the third consequence?
Resistance always generates negative thoughts about the future. Even though, we
don't know the future when there is mental resistance, I look at a difficult situation,
what all events will take place I don't know, but my mind become highly creative
negatively. I imagine future negative events in all directions. Any direction of thinking
my mind goes, it projects negative events and not ordinary negative events, all of
them are worst type of negative events. Therefore resistance is the cause of thinking
negatively. The negative thinking is directly proportional to resistance.
There is a law we should know, a very important law. Negative thinking attracts
negative events. The mind has got such a power, it is called sakalpa aktihi which
we are applying negatively. Mind has got tremendous power that any thought will
attract an event similar to thought. Any thought when it is repeated several times,
that repeated thought will attract the event and what will be the type of event? An
event to similar to the thought, positive thoughts will attract positive events, negative
thoughts will attract negative events. Resistance generates negative thoughts and by
own negative thought, what am I inviting? Negating events.
Somebody looked at the jtakam and said bad period, some graha is somewhere,
and then because the astrologer has said, people think that negative event should
happen. I go on repeating that this is my bad period. Whether the planet brings the
event or not, by my sheer thought I crystallize the negative event. Like the cloud
seeding by potassium silver iodide. By silver iodide, the clouds can be crystallized
and rain can come. Similarly, our negative thoughts becomes silver iodide and the
possibility of negative events, we crystallize and we make it happen, this is called
self-fulfilling prophecy. I myself repeat the thought and make sure that the astrologer
is right. I validate the astrologer by my cooperation with my negative thinking. Thus
resistance produces negative thinking attracting negative events. This is the third
danger.
The fourth danger is, resistance generates stress. When I'm not willing to go through
difficult situation in keeping with the intensity of my resistance, a tremendous tension
or stress is created in my physical body and in my mind also. Generally it is
experienced all over the body as though everything is stretched and within the
stomach churning feelings all of them happen. This is stress generated by
resistance. We think stress is generated by difficult situation, unfortunately, stress is
not generated by difficult situation, and stress is generated by resistance to difficult
situation. Nowadays, continuous stress will create several health problems, short
term health problem, long term problem, physical health problem, psychological
health problem, reversible health problem, irreversible health problem, all because of
stress medically proved.
Stress is generated not by difficult situation, stress is generated by resistance.
Therefore, we should understand our unwillingness to face difficult situation in life is
a powerful internal enemy which strengthens the external enemy also and it creates
several problems for me, like the anti-national people within the country who are
supporting the terrorists outside. Resistance magnifies our external enemy, weakens
our skills and creates all the negative problems. I should understand my primary
enemy in my life is resistance, meaning my unwillingness to face difficult situation,
which is inevitable in life which is the law of life.
We can remember the four points (Magnification, Obstruction of the skills, Negative
thinking, Stress.). We can remember this as Monstress. Hence, resistance generates
monstress. This is the consequence of resistance, therefore if the quality of our life
has to be improved and we want to avoid health problem caused by resistance, we
have to address this problem. Then the next question is, how do I solve this
problem? If darkness is a problem, we have to bring in light. If unwillingness to face
difficulty is our problem, what is the opposite of that? Willingness to face difficult
situation as a lifes package.
Life will include difficult situation whether I like or not, therefore, I should be
intelligently, skilfully willing to confront the problem, therefore, I have to generate
deliberate thoughts of willingness. Because unwillingness is a habitual thought which
is always there.
We have to deliberately practice saying, In life difficult situation will be there, since it
is an integral part of life, Im willing to go-through difficult situation. Willingness
thought must be repeated. Therefore, I will call it a meditation of this particular
thought, this willingness thought is called acceptance. The opposite of resistance is
acceptance. The opposite of unwillingness is willingness.
Therefore, acceptance meditation we all have to practice regularly to neutralize the
psychological problem of resistance. This acceptance meditation not only must be
regularly practiced, whenever a difficult situation is arriving, at that time acceptance
meditation should be practiced more vigorously. Because only at that time resistance
is going to come up, whenever difficult situation is arriving or arrived, we have to
practice acceptance meditation. If that is not practiced, what will happen? Resistance
will come, if resistance comes monstress will come. Do you want a monstress to
come? Better not.
This acceptance meditation we can practice effectively if we practice this as a
Baktha. This is where Baktha and Bakthi is going to be very handy. While practicing
acceptance meditation I meditate as a Baktha and I invoke the lord and create the
atmosphere of Bakthi by certain thoughts which will promote a healthy attitude.
What are those thoughts which will create an ideal bakthi atmosphere? Im going to
mention 3 patterns to create the ambience in that atmosphere I have to practice, Im
willing to go-through the difficult situation. Before that we have to create the
atmosphere. The first thought pattern is, "As a Baktha I note that the entire universe
is creation of Bhagavn and Bhagavn is an intelligent creator, sarvagyaha,
sarveshwaraha, sarva-sakthimaan. He has created a wonderful universe, which
means everything in this creation is meaningful and purposeful.
This I intensely appreciate and acknowledge. If everything created in this universe is
meaningful and purposeful as a part of the creation, Bhagavn himself has kept
difficult situation also which is an integral part of the creation. If difficult situations are
also an integral part of the universe, therefore created by God, that also got has a
meaning and purpose. Every difficult situation has got a purpose and a meaning
whether the meaning is explicit, or whether it is hidden, whether I can recognize it
now or later Im convinced as a Baktha, what is my conviction? Every difficult
situation is meaningful and purposeful, therefore, I accept the necessity of difficult
situations in life. We have to keep repeating that, I accept the purpose and validity
of difficult situations in life. This is the atmosphere I have to created, why? Because,
it is created by Ishwara.
The second thought pattern is, Whatever difficult situation I face is all the result of
my own past karma. Every difficult situation is the result of my own past karma and
the situation is karma phalam and as Baktha I know that Bhagavn is in charge of
distributing karma phalam.
The department of karma phala dna is presided over by Bhagavn. He is defined
as karma phala dhaa. As a Baktha, therefore I know every difficult situation is given
by Bhagavn himself as a karma phalam and as a Baktha whatever comes from
Bhagavn, we can call it by one name Ishwara kp. Whatever comes from
Bhagavn is a kp or a blessing, therefore I never have unwillingness to receive it,
there is no resistance at all, and I accept the difficult situation. That does not mean, I
should not take remedial measures, Im going to take remedial measures alright, and
also know that the difficult situation will pass away, but until it passes away I have to
go-through and when I go-through the difficult situation, natural resistance will come,
my deliberate approach should be, Im willing to go-through the difficult situation
until it passes away. Therefore, Im accepting the difficult situation." The second
thought pattern is, My difficult situations are ishwara kp. Until it is remedied, Im
willing to go-through it...
The third pattern is, Because of my devotion to the lord, I have got the most stable
and reliable relationship, so through that I can draw any amount of strength and
therefore with the strength that I borrow from the sacred relationship, Im confident
that I will be able to come through the situation and I will be able to become purer,
stronger and wiser, like a washer man who is cleaning the cloth, we will come purer,
stronger and wiser. Having thought these 3 points, I repeat, therefore because of
these reasons, Im willing to go-through the difficult situation, I dont how long it is
going to last, if it is a treatment, the treatment may cure the disease in a day, in a
week, in a month or in a year. I do not know how long the treatment should go-
through. Let the treatment continue, but until the problem goes, Im willing to go-
through.
The beauty is, as even I practice this acceptance meditation, you will find the
resistance will become weaker. You can physically and emotionally feel the
monstress disappearing from the system, as even the willingness thought is
repeated, unwillingness thought will go-away. As the unwillingness thought goes
away, monstress disappears and the churning sensation in the stomach also, one
can literally feel this instantaneously disappearing.
Acceptance meditation is the surrendering of the resisting will. For practicing this
meditation, we have got so many beautiful lokas and prayers. One is from the
Mukunda ml, nsth dharme na vasu-nicaye naiva kmopabhoge yad bhvyam
tad bhavatu bhagavan prva-karmnurpam etat prrthyam mama bahu matam
janma-janmntare pitvat-pdmbhoruha-yuga-gat nical bhaktir astu, it is a
beautiful prayer where Im referring to only relevant portion. The difficult situation that
I have to necessarily go-through, I will willingly go-through without any complaints
not only I should verbally say it, but my facial expression also should not get
contorted when Im talking about that.
Face contortions I avoid, the language is also not negative, bodily expression is also
not negative. There is a difficult situation Im willing to go-through it. Slogan number
1 is, Bhavyam Bhagavn Bhavatu. My prayer is, I should hold on to your feet and
with bhakti I should be confident, in Karma yoga class I had said Triple C which is
calm, cheerful and confident that I will go through successfully and come out purer,
stronger and wiser. If you read Rudram, you will find a greater statement, Difficult
situation is not Ishwara kp, and difficult situation itself is Ishwara.
Because Rudram says, World is not created by Bhagavn, world is nothing but
Bhagavn himself in this costume of things and beings.Therefore, difficult situation
is not something coming from Bhagavn, but difficult situation itself is Bhagavn,
therefore, I have no resistance, I will successfully go through it. Mukunda ml is one
loka, and another loka is in Sivananda lahar.
Shankarcrya says in the Sivnanda lahar, Lord Siva is pacamukhaha, he uses in
2 fold meaning. One meaning is Lord with five heads, another meaning of
pacamukha, a lion. Paca means wide, there is a second meaning wide, so
pacamukha means a wide mouthed animal, and lion is an animal which has got a
very big mouth. Therefore, lion is called pacamukhaha.
Shankarcrya says, pacamukha always lives in mountains and caves, and
pacamukha Sivaha also lives in a cave and that cave is Yovedha nihitam guhym
in the heart cave, pacamukha is living, 2 fold-meaning, pacamukha Siva,
pacamukha lion is living.
Shankarcrya says "Kara-lagna mga karndra-bhango, ghana rdla-
vikhaano(a)sta-jantu, girio viad-kti-ca ceta, kuhare panca mukhosti me
kuto bh.." When lion is with me, why should I be afraid of facing any other local
animal? Similarly when pacamukha Siva is there, Shankarcrya gives two fold
description, one description for Siva and another for lion. When Siva is with me, why
should I be afraid? Therefore, Im a baktha, Im wilfully going through the difficult
situation, Im not at all afraid, monstress can never come. I will certainly come out of
this and I will come out purer, stronger and wiser.
The third loka is from the Bhagavad Gta itself "Mac-citta sarva-durgi mat-
prasdt tariyasi". The one who keeps the Lord in the cave of the heart will cross
over all difficult situation. Using these lokas or independently when I practice the
acceptance meditation, Im solving the internal problem, the general mistake we
commit is, all the time we are focused on the external difficult situation only, we
never address the resistance problem.
Therefore, if 50% of our time we are giving for solving the external problem, we have
to give 50% of our time for acceptance meditation whenever any problem comes,
forget the problem and spend one hour exclusively on acceptance meditation. We
have to attack the external enemy and equally internal enemy 50-50 percentage
basis. When the internal enemy is tackled, there is no magnification of the problem.
Once the resistance is gone, the de-magnification takes place, that is called
shrinking of the problem for which we have another loka "Goshpadi kta vrshim
maaki kta rkasam", for Ajaneya ocean became a puddle of water, and he didnt
have resistance. All the rkasas in the lanka became like mosquitoes.
Therefore, all problems are maakas, practice acceptance meditation, all problems
will become simple and we will be able to cross over. Therefore, bakthi is useful for
acceptance meditation, it will remove resistance and when resistance goes away,
the monstress will go away. When monstress goes away, our life will be healthier.
Therefore, bakthi has got a practical benefit also.