The Odyssey

Scene 1:Ithaca without Odysseus

NARRATOR:

With the war on Troy taking place for more than ten-years, Odysseus' homeland Ithaca, his wife
Penelope, and son Telemachus were left without their rightful king. And as time had gone by
with Odysseus' absence, unruly suitors barged into Odysseus' home, eating his food and
courting his wife and queen Penelope.

PENELOPE:

*Knitting the shroud*

Oh Odysseus, Even after such a long time, I know you'll come back to me and Telemachus....

*Suitors barge into Odysseus' home"

ANTINOUS:

Listen here little boy, Odysseus has been gone for ten years now! the old geezer(man) is
probably dead by now, when will your mother give up and let us court her?

TELEMACHUS:

My father is not dead you filthy pig! When he comes back, I'll have your head on a pike!

*Suitors make fun of Telemachus, rowdy scene (long scene)*

*I just cant wait to be the king*

PENELOPE:

Stop. Remember, you are in our home eating our food. I will consider marriage to one of you
once i am done knitting this shroud, but until then you will respect the people of this house so
that you may stay here.

*suitors stop picking on telemachus and start drinking and shit*

TELEMACHUS:

Mother! Why do you feed and put up with those pigs?

 PENELOPE:

*unravelling the quilt thing wtf*

Your father will come back to us. The only thing we can do is wait for him and the suitors time
here will be cut short.

TELEMACHUS:

No. I will not accept this!

*leaves very angery*

END SCENE

Scene 2:Polyphemus

Narrator: After the victory of the ten-year Trojan war, Odysseus and his soldiers had a long
journey ahead of them, With the Greek god Poseidon causing a great storm that led them to
land of the lotus eaters and the Cyclops.

ODYSSEUS:

Where is this place? What are these beautiful-looking fruits?

*Odysseus eats a fruit and get addicted, same for the crew*

SOLDIER1:

This fruit is amazing! i've never tasted a fruit like this before! I DONT EVER WANT TO LEAVE
THIS ISLAND!

ODYSSEUS:

Come with me! we must look for more of these fruits!

*Odysseus and crew wander into a cave with food/fruits*

SOLDIER2:

Look at all of this food! we could've fed the entire army with this!

*Odysseus and soldiers get drunk and party*

 *PLAY THE MUMMY OPENING SOUNDTRACK*

Polyphemus:

WhAT Is NoIsE Comeing from mY CaVE? WHo ThERE!?

*sees Odysseus and his men*

WhY YOU Eat mY FOOD!?

*sword fight(?) odysseus loses, someone dies and they run and get captured by giant, giant falls
asleep*

ODYSSEUS:

*hand signal a plan to get cyclops drunk and stab eye*

Bob stop eating, get the giant drunk and when he's destroyed, we destroy his eye

SOLDIER2:

OKAY SIR

*gets giant drunk and dances with the giant*

*there is dance scene or some shit idk man it's 12 am fuck*

*Odysseus stabs polyphemus in the eye*

POLYPHEMUS:
AHHH WhO WaS ThAT!???? WhAT IS YOUR NaEM?

ODYSSEUS:

MY NAME IS NOBODY! NO ONE NOBODY!

POLYPHEMUS:

AHHHH NO ONE HAS BLINDED ME! NOBODY HAS HURT ME! KILL NO ONE NOBODY!!

*odysseus*

*Polyphemus enraged, starts going crazy*

ODYSSEUS:

MEN LET'S GO
 *Odysseus escapes cave*

POLYPHEMUS:

FATHER! FATHER CURSE THESE MORTAL SCUM FOR THEY HAVE DESTROYED MY EYE

END SCENE

Scene 3: Lotus Eaters

NARRATOR:

After escaping from the giant cyclops Polyphemus, Odysseus and his men searched for new
places to settle where they could raid, scavenge, and hunt for supplies in order for them to
return to Ithaca.

*Odysseus and his men feasting*

SOLDIER1:

Today was a good day for a raid Odysseus! we have enough supplies to make it back home to
Ithaca and bring back gifts to our friends.

ODYSSEUS:

Where are the others jeff? They should have come back by sunset.

SOLDIER2:

Sir! The others were turned into swine by the enchantress Circe!

*turns into swine idk how,make it happen*

*bibbidi-bobbidi-boo (circe)*

ODDYSSEUS:

BOB WHO DID THIS?????

SOLDIER2:

CIIR-CEEEEE

ODYSSEUS:
 *frantically looks for Circe's Lair, while looking meets hermes*

HERMES:

Hey, Athena your protector sent me here to help you with the enchantress Circe. Take this moly
and eat it. It should help you fend off her magic spellsz.

*odysseus says thanks and leavs, arrives at circe's place*

ODYSSEUS:

Circe! Where are you? I have come to take my men back!

*sword fight with odysseus and circe*

CIRCE:

*LINE LINE LINE LINE*

(night time) emote emote circe, play I wont say Im in love

SOLDIER3:

Sir it has been three years since we have arrived, do you not think it is time for us to head back
to Ithaca?

ODYSSEUS:

Three years? It has only felt like days! Circe, you must help me return back home.

CIRCE:

Okay my love, I will do my best to help you.

*EMOTE EMOTE CIRCE

END SCENE

Scene 4: Ogygia and Calypso

NARRATOR:

After a visit to the underworld through the help of Circe, Odysseus and his men have an
encounter with the great sea monsters Scylla and Charybdis which kills all of Odysseus' men
leaving him alive. With his survival thanks to the mercy of Zeus, he arrives at Ogygia, the home
of Calypso.
 ODYSSEUS:

*dreaming about Penelope and Telemachus*

Penelope my wife, I'm sorry to have left you. Where are you? Are you safe? uuugugghhghh

*wakes up and sobs and cries and stuff*

*play waiting for love*

CALYPSO:

What's wrong my dear? having a bad dreaam?

ODYSSEUS:

No, it's just that i remember my wife and my son back home in my land Ithaca.

CALYPSO:

Oh Sweiete you can forget about those people, you're with me now

*whole tone is very malandi but like odysseus is just sad and crying and shit*

*SINGS FEELS LIKE HOME*

*Council of the gods*

ZEUS:

The fate of this man must be decided. to live, or to perish?

POSEIDON:

I say he perish! he has forsaken his gods and turned to himself. not only that but he has also
blinded my son Polyphemus!

ATHENA:

Mortals will be mortals and I believe that Odysseus should be given a second chance. I can lead
him to become better and he will become a greek hero.

*Arguing*

ZEUS:
Then it is settled! Odysseus will be freed from Ogygia and sent back to Ithaca. Hermes, Save this
mortal from Calypso.

HERMES:

Calypso, the gods have decided. This mortal is to be freed from this island and is to be freed
from you.

CALYPSO:

NO! ODYSSEUS IS MINE! I HAVE GIVEN HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS! I TOOK CARE OF HIM
WHEN THE GODS LEFT HIM FOR DEAD. I GAVE HIM HOME, FOOD, SHELTER, AND A
COMPANION!(malandi amputa)

HERMES:

This is not for you to decide but for Odysseus.

*Odysseus prepares to leave*

CALYPSO:

NO! how can you do this to me?! (clingy amputa lmao)

ODYSSEUS:

I have to go back to my real wife, my son and my land. Thank you for the hospitality.

CALYPSO:

...... If you stay here with me, i will take you as my husband and you will become immortal.

ODYSSEUS:
i'm sorry bit i have made up my mind. I will be leaving, so thank you for the hospitality.

*calypso waves odysseus goodbye* sad reacts onli

CALYPSO:

*PLAY ITS NOT GOODBYE*

END SCENE

SCENE 5: Back in Ithaca

 NARRATOR:

After Odysseus' is released from Ogygia, his boat is destroyed by Poseidon who believes that
he has finally received enough punishment.

POSEIDON:

*LINE LINE LINE*

Odysseus washes up on the shores of Scheria, the home of the Phaeacians where he tells the
story of his adventures. After his stay, he was ready to go back home, to Ithaca where he
belongs.

ODYSSEUS:

*play I can go the distance*

--------------------------------------------------------

ATHENA:

Odysseus, take shelter in your father's old shed. you will stay there in disguise until the time is
right.

ODYSSEUS:

okay

*Telemachus finds beggar in shed*

TELEMACHUS:

What are you doing here? beggars are not allowed in my grandfather's shed!

*Telemachus looks and sees that it is his father*

TELEMACHUS:

Father? is that you?

ODYSSEUS:

Yes my son. I have returned from troy, facing danger and many obstacles.

*touching scene*

----------------------------------------------
 NARRATOR:

With Odysseus in disguise, Telemachus brings him to his house where he finds that it has been
dirtied and disrespected by the suitors.

-----------------------------------------------

*next day*

MAID:

My queen, the suitors have become impatient. we must find a way to quell their anger!

PENELOPE:

Bring them to the dining hall, I shall give them a test.

*suitors and odysseus in disguise gather in the hall*

PENELOPE:

The day has finally come, and so for my final test, I will marry the one that can string this bow,
then shoot it through a line of tweleve axe heads.

*Suitors take turns stringing the bow with Eurymachus going first, then eurymachus, then
amphinomous*

ANTINOUS:

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! NO MORTAL MAN CAN STRING THIS BOW! is this another one of your
tricks Penelope?! *throws bow on the floor*

EURYMACHUS:

THIS BOW HAS BEEN CURSED BY THE GODS!

*suitors are mad*

*Odysseus picks up bow, strings then shoots*

*everyone is wow, Odysseus removes his disguise*

*Odysseus shuts all of the doors in the hall, all of the suitors are afraid*

ANTINOUS:
 We have done nothing wrong. What is our crime for you to kill us?

ODYSSEUS:

Your crime is that you have tried to steal my world. Everything that i have worked for.
Antinous! First in line, First in arrogance, and first in pride. But today, You will be the first to die!

*Shoots antinous, odysseus and telemachus then kills all of the other suitors*

ODYSSEUS:

What a shame that on the day of my return, blood is spilled in my house. Telemachus! tell the
servants to purify this place so that those who have endangered us be no more.

TELEMACHUS:
yes father.

*celebration in the palace*

---NEXT SCENE ODYSSEUS AND PENELOPE ALONE---

PENELOPE:

*praying*

Athena! thank you for bringing my husband home back to where he belongs, although was all
of this bloodshed really part of the god's plan?

ATHENA:

Odysseus has put his fate upon his hands, none of this bloodshed was influenced by the gods. I
am hoping that you will live a prosperous life, caring for each other. I shall guide you till the
end.

*vanishes into thin air*

Odysseus enters the room.

PENELOPE:

Thank the gods that you are back here after 20 long years! So much has happened, but nothing
can change my love for you.

ODYSSEUS:

Its my love for you and our son that kept me going. I have missed you so much.
 PENELOPE:

Oh, Eurycleia, could you please move the bed frame from the bedroom to the hall so that the
King may lay to rest.

ODYSSEUS (ANGRY AF):

THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE! How could you possibly move the bed frame when it is attached to the
olive tree within the room?

*blabbers nonsense processes*

Penelope hugs him.

PENELOPE:

Indeed it is you! My love and my king!

*sings at the beginning*

END OF PLAY