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COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS SURROUNDING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional intelligence is emerging as a key attribute of high performing business leaders. Companies
such as American Express have realized the power of using emotional intelligence to recruit and train top
sales people.
Do you hear the words Emotional Intelligence and run screaming in the other direction? Do the words
conjure up a picture of shiny, happy, people holding hands? If so, you may be looking at the concept of
emotional intelligence in the wrong way. In his book, Working With Emotional Intelligence, Daniel
Goleman expells some of the myths surrounding emotional intelligence.
1. Misconception: the theory of mindset says that anyone can learn and achieve anything
2. Misconception: the theory of mindset says that anyone either has a fixed or a growth mindset
3. Misconception: not much can be done about what kind of mindset you have
4. Misconception: the theory of mindset is only about intelligence
5. Misconception: people with a growth mindset are obsessive about learning and always want to be the best
6. Misconception: improving learning and performance is purely a matter of changing mindsets
7. Misconception: the concept of mindset is only about children
8. Misconception: the concept of the growth mindset puts too much pressure on children
9. Misconception: the theory of mindset is only useful for individuals
10. Misconception: the concept of mindset is not relevant for people with an intellectual disability
Box #2 Breakdown
People in Box #2 believe in their ability to learn and develop (growth mindset). This is hard but I can figure it
out, I am good at math because Ive worked hard, If I want to get better at shooting, Ill need to practice more.
AND
Rather than obsessing over how they look their #1 priority is learning and getting better. Theyre more concerned
with the process than performance. They are down to get a little ugly because they know that is how they learn.
People in this box are able to thrive in the wild and deal with all of the difficulties, mistakes, and failures that
come with learning.
Box #3 Breakdown
People in Box #3 do not believe in their ability to learn and grow (fixed mindset). This can be their belief towards
a certain subject, skill, or even a particular project: I am not a math person, Ill never be able to figure this out,
Im just not a dancer, I cant shoot, I am just naturally good at drawing its a gift and I dont need to work at
it.
AND
Their #1 priority is how they look.
This group is the MOST likely to give up and avoid challenges, get defensive when they get feedback, and
absolutely freak out when they make mistakes.
And its easy to see why. They dont ever want to look bad AND they dont believe in their ability to learn. Not
really a healthy approach to learning, eh?
Box #4 Breakdown
People in Box #4 believe in their ability to learn and develop (growth mindset). This is hard but I can figure it
out, I am good at math because Ive worked hard, If I want to get better at shooting Ill need to practice more.
BUT
They are so worried about looking bad that they miss out and avoid opportunities to learn.
This is why a lot of us cant dance
We WANT to learn, we would love to be good at it, but we are so worried about looking bad that we avoid getting
the reps needed to get good at it.
Using the Matrix
In a recent interview, Carol Dweck touched on some of the major misconceptions and hurdles involved with the
growth mindset. One of the biggest (and I agree with her 100%) problems she has noticed is coaches, teachers, and
parents telling their kids that its important to have a growth mindset but their practice and actions dont reflect this
at all. They still punish mistakes, they still create a culture that values performance over process, they still label kids
and tell them what they can and cant do
Hopefully this matrix can help change that.
Hang this by your desk, in the locker room, or in the gym as reminder. Ask yourself what box does your group
culture align with? What box does your feedback put a student in? What box are you in? What box are they in?
By MindShift NOVEMBER 16, 2015 By Eduardo Briceo
A growth mindset is the understanding that personal qualities and abilities can change. It leads people
to take on challenges, persevere in the face of setbacks, and become more effective learners. As more and
more people learn about the growth mindset, which was first discovered by Stanford Professor Carol
Dweck, we sometimes observe some confusions about it. Recently some critiques have emerged. Of course
we invite critical analysis and feedback, as it helps all of us learn and improve, but some of the recent
commentary seems to point to misunderstandings of growth mindset research and practice. This article
summarizes some common confusions and offers some reflections.
Confusion #1: What a growth mindset is
When we ask people to tell us what the growth mindset is, we often get lots of different answers, such
as working hard, having high expectations, being resilient, or more general ideas like being open or
flexible. But a growth mindset is none of those things. It is the belief that qualities can change and that we
can develop our intelligence and abilities. The opposite of having a growth mindset is having a fixed
mindset, which is the belief that intelligence and abilities cannot be developed. The reason that this
definition of growth mindset is important is that research has shown that this specific belief leads people
to take on challenges, work harder and more effectively, and persevere in the face of struggle, all of which
makes people more successful learners. It is hard to directly change these behaviors without also working
to change the underlying understanding of the nature of abilities.
Confusion #2: To foster a growth mindset, simply praise children for working hard
A body of research has shown that telling children that theyre smart and implying that their success
depends on it fosters fixed mindsets. When these children later experience struggle, they tend to conclude
that their ability is not high after all, and as a result they lose confidence, so our praise has the opposite
effect of what we intended. On the other hand, praising hard work or strategies used, things that children
control, has been shown to support a growth mindset.
This research was designed to learn more about one of the ways to support a growth mindset, not to
identify all there is to fostering a growth mindset. When people newer to the growth mindset framework
initially learn about this research, they sometimes conclude that we should simply praise children for
working hard. But this is a nascent level of understanding. First, exhorting students to work hard would
be an attempt to directly change behaviors without changing the underlying belief about the nature of
abilities.
Second, students often havent learned that working hard involves thinking hard, which involves
reflecting on and changing our strategies so we become more and more effective learners over time, and
we need to guide them to come to understand this. For example, a novice teacher who sees a student trying
very hard but not making any progress may think well, at least shes working hard, so Ill praise her
effort, but if the student continues to do what shes doing, or even more of it, its unlikely to lead to
success. Instead, the teacher can coach the student to try different approaches to working, studying, and
learning, so that she is thinking more deeply (i.e. mentally working harder) to become a better learner,
and of course the teacher should do the same: reflect on how to adjust instruction. Its not just about
effort. You also need to learn skills that let you use your brain in a smarter way. . . to get better at
something. (Yeager & Dweck, 2012.)
Third, cultivating growth mindsets involves a gradual process of releasing responsibility to students
for them to become more self-sufficient learners, and praise is a communications technique that tends to
be more helpful earlier in that process of building agency. Later on, adults can ask students questions that
prompt them to reflect, so that theyre progressing down the path toward independence.
Fourth, praise and coaching are not the only, or most powerful, ways to foster growth mindsets. For
example, another method is modeling lifelong learning and making it visible, which gets us to the next
confusion.
Confusion #3: Growth mindset is about changing young people, not adults
Some recent criticisms paint growth mindset work as solely focused on the students and not the adults.
This is a misunderstanding of what growth mindset efforts are about. In our work with educators, we
encourage the adults to start with themselves. If we dont work to shift our own mindset about ourselves
and our students, then we wont work to change many other important things in the system necessary to
improve education. Furthermore, our efforts to foster growth mindsets in students are likely to fail
because we will say and do things that reflect our fixed mindset beliefs, which students will notice. We
must deeply explore mindsets within ourselves and then gradually work to develop our own growth
mindsets and our habits as learners. This means authentically working to become better at what we do
throughout our lives, including how we teach and how we create contexts that help students thrive, and
making our learning process visible to one another and to students.
We encourage the schools we serve to train teachers early in their growth mindset efforts, involving
reflections and discussions on adult beliefs and continuous improvement practices. We
provide professional learning resources to help them do so. Dr. Dweck and other mindset researchers
speak about the importance of fostering a growth mindset in adults and have researched the mindsets of
educators, managers, leaders, and other grownups. Growth mindset research is about learning how we
humans can all become more motivated and effective learners, not about how we can change students but
not ourselves.
Confusion #4: All that matters is whats in the mind
Another confusion about mindset is that the only determinant of success is our mindset. But thats not
the case. Context, culture, environment, and systems matter. For one thing, peoples mindsets (as well as
other beliefs and behaviors) are strongly shaped by the people around them. Beyond that, peoples destiny
is not only a function of whats within them, but also of whats around them. A lot of the early mindset
research studies focused on individuals minds because they were seeking to understand how humans
work. But mindset researchers recognize, research, and speak about the importance of shifting culture,
context, and systems, and both researchers and practitioners actively work on that aspect of change
efforts.
Confusion #5: Improvement is all about changing beliefs and not doing anything else
Related to that, another confusion we see, also reflected in recent commentaries, is that growth mindset
work is solely about fostering the belief that we can improve, but not about changing the educational
system or actually doing anything about that belief. Carol Dweck has talked extensively about changing
learning tasks, testing practices, and grading systems. Too many tasks and teaching approaches are
superficial, irrelevant, unengaging, and not learner-centered. We do need to change these tasks, the
curriculum, and the pedagogy. We need to change the idea that school is about testing rather than about
learning. We also need to better tackle broader issues such as childhood trauma and lack of exposure to
early reading. People who dive deeper into growth mindsets learn about how important these issues are
and how we might begin to address them, and a growth mindset helps them take on the challenges. As
David Yeager and Gregory Walton point out:
[Mindset] interventions complementand do not replacetraditional educational reforms. They do
not teach students academic content or skills, restructure schools, or improve teacher training. Instead,
they allow students to take better advantage of learning opportunities that are present in schools and
tap into existing recursive processes to generate long-lasting effects . . . Indeed, [Mindset] interventions
may make the effects of high-quality educational reforms such as improved instruction or curricula
more apparent (Yeager & Walton, 2011).
Deepening our understanding over time
As with anything else, the deeper we go into mindsets, the deeper our understanding becomes. Over
time, more nuanced questions arise, such as about the relationship between mindset and performance,
results, failure, potential, assessments, mistakes, and many other things. For example, early on a teacher
who is learning about mindset may start oversimplifying mistakes as always being good, but this can
confuse learners, as mistakes are not always something we should seek to do. With time we start
distinguishing stretch mistakes, sloppy mistakes, aha-moment mistakes, and high-stakes mistakes.
Your Gut Feeling: Fear or Intuition
By Rosalie Puiman
At the very end of our almost 2.5-hour deep coaching conversation, my client asked me this: How do I know
when to trust my intuition and when to disregard it?
Shed had several situations where shed had a negative gut feeling about a situation, ignored it and later found
that ignoring the feeling was the best thing she could have done.
Basically she wondered: Why would I trust my intuition when its so often wrong?
Now thats an interesting question, because I believe intuition is never wrong. So what was going on here?
Suddenly I realized the problem: She wasnt experiencing intuition, but fear.
And then, obviously, she asked me: But if thats true, how do I know when my gut feeling is fear and when its
intuition?
Yep. Great question.
Even though I know how I distinguish between fear and intuition, I didnt have a set of concrete tips handy to
offer her in the few minutes that we had left.
So I owe her an answer, and because I guess she and I may not be the only ones who are not absolutely sure
how to distinguish a gut feeling based in fear, from a gut feeling based in intuition, I decided to write about it here.
What is Intuition?
Lets first start with the basics. Intuition is such a buzzword that almost everyone has their own personal
definition of what intuition is.
I did some research online, and found this straightforward definition:
Intuition is the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning.
And I think this is partly true, but intuition is more then just instinctive. Theres more to it then the instinctive
urge to run from danger or to have food and water.
Even though I agree that intuition doesnt need conscious reasoning, I believe it is not without cognitive
elements. Its more consideration than reasoning though. Intuition uses past knowledge and experiences to assess
a situation, as well as a very quick assessment of the present, based on clues and details that may not be obvious
to the rational mind, but are definitely there.
My definition of intuition is:
Intuition is a subconscious assessment of various elements:
the past (e.g. experiences, knowledge),
personal needs and preferences (e.g. how do I want to feel) and
the present (e.g. feelings that arise, choice of words, surroundings and signs other people are
giving), leading to a calculation of the best way to handle a situation.
I basically see intuition as a knowing that is based on more, rather then different elements than the rational
mind can deal with at one given moment.
Is it Fear or Intuition?
Fear and intuition are easily confused, and that has to do with the fact that they are both experienced as a gut
feeling and I mean that literally: a feeling in your gut area.
Many of us have fallen a little out of touch with our gut feelings, to put it mildly. Were so occupied with our
thoughts and intelligent reasoning, that its hard to understand what our gut means when it has a feeling.
There are ways to distinguish gut feelings based in fear from gut feelings that signal intuition. Heres how:
The difference between Fear and Intuition
The two most important things that separate fear from intuition are
1) Intuition being only about the present. Theres NO worrying about past or future involved.
2) Intuition being neutral, unemotional, whereas fear is highly emotionally charged.
Reliable intuition feels right, it has a compassionate, affirming tone to it.
It confirms that you are on target, without having an overly positive or negative feel to it.
Fear is often anxious, dark or heavy. It has cruel, demeaning or delusional content (to yourself or to others) and
it reflects unhealed psychological wounds.