This book provides great inspiration

and decadent advice specifically

tailored for a modern woman
with a huge appetite for life
and love

Sensual
lifestyle
Living an enchanting life starts here!

Lebo Grand
Sensual
lifestyle
Living an enchanting life starts here!

Lebo Grand
 19. The art of seductive living

Become a desire creating woman

This chapter is intended to empower you as a woman to show up

in a high value/high status way so that youll not only attract your
ideal man (a high quality man, the ambitious kind with high stand-
ards), but also easily affect his deepest emotions and commitment.

First of, I believe that every single woman deserves to have a dee-
ply committed man in her life. I also believe that you have every-
Chapter 19

thing that you need right now to inspire that deep sense of emo-
tional commitment from your man, however, a lot of women dont
seem to realize this. Lets start with the after-attraction stage. Most
women, just after they have successfully nabbed that perfect guy
somehow hope that he will, all by himself, find reasons to decide
to stay in that relationship for the long haul. They dont intentiona-
lly create nor give him compelling reasons as to why he should
really want to stay and commit. And Im not talking about having
his baby; thats something only desperate women would do.

Nonetheless, what if I told you that there is a way in which you can
make that man want to commit to you? What if you could learn the
triggers that can not only attract your ideal man, that is if you are
looking, but also keep him in a perpetual state of attraction towar-

vi146
ds you? Some women think sex. But sex is not necessarily always
what makes a man happy nor ultimately makes him want to com-
mit to a woman. In fact, wanting a woman for sex is one thing, but
wanting a woman for a relationship tends to happen when a man
perceives high value in that particular woman.

But what are the things that a man (high value man) perceives as of
high value in a woman? It is important that you understand his em-
otional triggers, and Im not just referring to things that will make
him find you physically attractive but also those that will make him
to really want to commit to you.

Now with all that is going on in the world, for instance, Facebook,
internet dating, and multiple ways of getting instant gratification,
men have less and less reasons now to commit to one woman.
This is why it is so important for you to learn the secret that makes
a man, your ideal man, want to emotionally commit to one woman
you. What is it going to take for him to see you as his one and
only? Well, the answer is easy but requires some bit of work from
your side, its called learning the art of seductive living. To put it
another way, let me say, learn how to master a desire creating be-
haviour. And no, Im not suggesting that you should start acting or
living like a whore. So, relax... and lets unpack this.

Learning the art of seductive living is really about cultivating a life-

style of always having a desirable effect on your man, whether he

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is your prospective (ideal) or current one (partner or husband). It is
about learning how to always maintain your desirability and rem-
ain the most attractive force in his life. Your primary aim should be
to become the most seductive woman in his everyday life. In fact,
did you know that seduction is the ultimate power every woman
possesses, whether they are aware of it or not?

First, I want us to take a brief moment to dissolve the misconcep-

tion around this word seduction. Perhaps I can help you identify
and probably even eliminate the devil in it. Now when you hear
the word seduction, what comes to mind? Be honest. Ok, what-
ever you thought about it, throw it out the window, and get ready
to uncover a new meaning and fresh purpose behind the word.

Furthermore, I have noticed that each time the Bible talks about a
seductive woman it is referring mainly to a man-eater. And men in
particular are explicitly warned of her evil intentions. For instance,
we read in Proverbs 5:3-10 :

3 The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so
smooth. 4 But it won't be long before she's gravel in your mouth, a pain in
your gut, a wound in your heart. 5 She's dancing down the primrose path
to Death; she's headed straight for Hell and taking you with her. 6 She
hasn't a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where she's going. 7 So,
my friend, listen closely; don't treat my words casually. 8 Keep your dist-
ance from such a woman; absolutely stay out of her neighborhood. 9 You

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don't want to squander your wonderful life, to waste your precious life
among the hardhearted. 10 Why should you allow strangers to take adva-
ntage of you? Why be exploited by those who care nothing for you?

Well, it is true that seduction for some women is seen as a game of

power, control and manipulation. As a matter of fact, there are
two types of seductive women. One has good intentions while
the other is mostly interested in your money, possessions and/or
status. The latter doesnt really give a rats ass about you, but the
former shows real concern about the health and growth of your
relationship; she wants to keep the spark alive daily. The bad wo-
man, on the other hand, uses her seductive power for her own self-
ish gain. She is a nasty bitch that prides herself on her ability to can
exploit powerful men and get them to lick the dirt from her shoe
heel. Just so we are clear, this latter woman, even though the wor-
ld today seems to put her on a pedestal, she is hideous! Trust me,
this is not what I'm prompting you to become when I say you need
to start living a seductive life.

My intention, however, is to help you understand the real reason

why you were given your seductive power. I believe that it was
given to you for ethical reasons; so that you can be a blessing
rather than a curse. Unfortunately, approximately 98% of women
in the world have become antithetical to the power of seduction
mainly because of the few who have chosen to use it the wrong
way, and Im hoping that this chapter will help you to realize that

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being a seductive woman is not a bad thing at all. In fact, seduc-
tion power is a gift you were born with. It was meant to enable you
to turn life into a truly amazing experience. Seduction is highly cr-
ucial especially in todays rapidly down spiraling state of relation-
ships. It is the antidote every woman needs in order to keep the
flame of love and passion forever burning in her relationship (or
marriage) and in her own personal life as well.

Every woman alive, whether she knows it or not,

is a natural seductress.
? Kitty Cavalier

I also believe, as I have already mentioned before, that seduction

is the power you need not only to attract your ideal man, but have
him continuously falling head over heels in love with you, wanting
to be deeply committed to you daily, and have the passionate
relationship youve always dreamed about.

Seduction is, in fact, a spiritual practice that allows you to have in-
fluence in the natural world. By tapping into your inner source of
feminine power you are able to tremendously affect not only your
own life but even your relationship (or marriage) as well. Seduct-
ion is woven into your very DNA. It is a power that has been with
you since the day you were born. But it needs conscious activat-
ion for it to start working fully. Most seductive women that you ad-
mire werent born that way, they cultivated this unique gift of their

vi150
power over a period time. In fact, it is very crucial for you to know
that this power starts to fully operate the moment you have a rev-
elation, that is more spiritual than most people think, of what is re-
quired of you to become a goddess? #irresistable. This revelat-
ion is also meant to make your ideal man find you enthralling, not
just once in a blue moon, but everyday.

Seduction is the spiritual power and wisdom you were given as a

woman to have influence over others, including your man. A lot of
women usually talk about how stressful their relationships are,
and how difficult their men can be. Nonetheless, being seductive
gives you the power to be able to command his attention without
being manipulative, nagging or obnoxious, but because you are
ah-mazing! One of the reasons why I think you should choose to
live a seductive life is so that you can be able to always keep your
man mesmerized and bedazzled by you.

Yes, you were born with seductive power in your DNA. But what is
this power, really? Well, think of it as that urge you have to want to
look irresistibly stunning, gorgeous, and desirable? sometimes in
a sexually provocative way simply because the occasion calls for
it. Being a seductive woman is actually about mastering the art of
transforming yourself into someone irresistible for the purpose of
either captivating or winning your targeted prospect (crush) or part-
ner or spouse. Seductive women are actually more like alchemists.
They know how to turn something common into something special.

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Why live an average life when a seductive one yields
greater dividends?

To ensure that you are constantly having an irresistable effect on

your man, prospective or current, you have to decide to turn sedu-
ction from a one-time event into your daily lifestyle. And it needs
to start with you. Kamand Kojouri commented, Seduce yourself
first. Meaning that you should always look and carry yourself in
such a way that if you were to watch your own movie, you would
fall in love with your persona more than all the others in that movie.

Make it difficult for your ideal man to miss his destiny with you. You
are a goddess, after all. So youve got to let the seductive smell of
your fragrance call him; let the clothes you wear make him wish he
was going home with you. I guess what Im trying to say here is: why
live an average life when a seductive one yields greater dividen-
ds? I can bet on a seductive life as the one thing that can really make
a man go crazy over a woman. Trust me, it has the potential to stir
up his deepest emotions and the desire to want to commit for life.

Your seductive power is not there to just transform you into a god-
dess, but it is also there to help you to inspire your man to become
the best man he can ever be. Nagging him to change has been
overdone and proven ineffective. Its time to wake up to the sec-
ret power you possess to can get him to willingly want to change.
Bob Grant said, You have the power to be the most wonderful

vi152
person in his life; one who could make him the best man he could
be. But you also have the power to be the most dangerous person
who could cause him more pain than anyone can, deprive him of
pleasure, expose his weaknesses and make his life miserable.

So ladies, please be very cautious when using this power. Let it be

motivated by your sincerest love for that man and not by greed or
anything else that might sooner or later cause him enormous
pain. Too many men died a Delilah induced death. Make a vow
that your man will never be one of them. Dont settle to being a
femme fatal, which in French literally means, a fatal woman. Histo-
ry is filled with seductresses who used their charms to ensnare
their lovers, often leading them into compromising, dangerous,
and deadly situations. Nevertheless, it is not their bad reputation
and viciousness that I want us to focus on at this moment, but their
riveting art of seduction. I admire that craft in these women and
think we can extract something useful from that which we can
apply in our everyday lives. What Im about to share with you, lad-
ies, are secrets that can turn your entire life around.

Now Im sure you badly want to know how you can be able to aw-
aken and harness your own seductive power so that you can make
your man:

Fall hopelessly in love with you

Become increasingly more attentive to you, and want to do

vi153
everything he can to please you and make you happy
Want to listen to you when you "just want to talk
Become as romantic and passionate as you'd like him to be
Be emotionally dependent on youand less likely to seek the
attention of another woman
Want to become a better partner or husband and a better man
because of you
Not stop thinking about you

Well, the first thing you need to do in order to start the process of
seducing your man is get to know his primary desires. Once you
know what your man's primary desires are and you make it your
priority to fulfill them, you set into motion a cascade of events that
will create the kind of outcomes (and yes, the relationship) youve
always wanted to have.

You cannot seduce a man, whether consciously or unconsciously,

without first tapping into his desires. There were certain women in
history who really understood the art of seduction and harnessed
its power to attract the men they desired into their lives. There
was an actress named Mae West who was not the most gorgeous
woman on earth and was slightly overweight, yet, she had men
coming and going constantly in her life. Another woman who
understood men better than most women ever will and exploited
this skill notoriously is Pamela Church Harriman. From the 1940s
on into the early 1960s she had a series of affairs with some of the

vi154
most prominent and wealthy men in the world. It is what attracted
these men, and kept them in thrall, that Im attempting to unscra-
mble in this chapter. What made these men find her so alluring
was certainly not her physical beauty, her lineage, or her vivacious
personality, but an extra-ordinary attention to detail.

A lady who wants to increase her chances of attracting her ideal

man must learn how to pay extra-ordinary attention to every det-
ail about that man. As Sun Tzu said, We cannot enter into allian-
ce with neighbouring princes until we are acquainted with their
design. Paying attention to detail is the secret most guys have
always known and applied regularly in order to appeal to their fe-
male crushes. Doing this gives you an opportunity to figure out
how he is wired and what makes him tick.

Once you understand your targets psychology, and strategize to suit it,
you will be better able to cast a magical spell.
? Robert Greene

Now Pamela Harriman would listen attentively to every word you

said, and soak up your taste. And then she would dress in a way
that would appeal to your taste and do anything else that would
impress you. Consequently, this had an intoxicating effect on all
the men in her life. What I dont like about this approach though is
the fact that it puts one in a position where they will have to live a
lie or put on a deceptive mask for someone to recognize them.

vi155
I think the best way to go about this is to try and figure out what-
ever the man you are into is into. Now this means finding out what
he is enthralled, bewitched and fascinated by, and make sure that
it is in line with your own personality, character, and style as well.
What this implies is that instead of faking your personality or alter-
ing who you are in order to fit into his world, how about just simply
going for the type of man who already fits into your current pers-
onality profile right from the start? If such a man is not available,
then maybe you should give your profile a little bit of a readjust-
ment. There is no harm in doing that.

I think it is best if you go for someone you are naturally and stylist-
ically compatible with. Find someone with whom you share the
same interests. As I have already indicated before, if he is a sens-
ual man, make sure that you are already a sensual lady yourself, or
at least have a very strong inclination towards living a sensual life-
style. Why? So that you will never ever feel like he has unrealistic
expectations of you. The thing is, if you ever feel like it is a burden
to spruce up your looks and be more stylish daily than a regular
woman, then a sensual man is probably not the best thing for you.
It is important to know the kind of woman you already are or have
a strong desire of becoming before trying to get a man. Know thy-
self first is the first rule you must follow if youre looking for a guy.

So you say you want a sensual man, huh? Then Im sure you alrea-
dy love being a goddess: i.e. painting your nails, wearing your

vi156
high heels and lingerie often, putting on some make-up and lusci-
ous fragrances. This is not Fifty Shades of Grey, honey, and you
are not the poor and innocent Anastasia. Being shy may have got-
ten you a man, but those giggles that fade into nothing may not
be enough to keep him around for the longest time. Sooner
rather than later youre going to have to assume the full role of a
goddess. This means seduction is going to have to be a lifestyle
you love and enjoy living everyday. I mean, high heels (and Im not
ruling that they should be worn everyday) are painful shoes, why
do you think some women are happy to wear them anyway? Its
not about comfort, but it is about feeling like a goddess.

Christian Louboutin understood this feeling very well, no wonder

why his shoes are the most sought out amongst women? selling
over five hundred thousand pairs of shoes a year. He instinctively
knows and acknowledges the power that makes women godde-
sses (or seductive). He said, Shoes are just a pedestal. What inte-
rests me is the power of the woman who wears them. I believe it
is the power of seduction that hes talking about here. He also
said, To feel like a woman, wear heels, to feel like a goddess, wear
five inches.

Since I assume you are interested in attracting a sensual man, I will

tell you what attracts us to women the most: it is the feminine or
goddess appeal. Are you a goddess? Now a goddess is not just a
woman in five inch heels, but she is also a woman who can ignite

vi157
passion and the spirit of excellence in her man. Watch a man who
is sluggish or has no drive in life, his woman either doesn't have or
seldom wears a pair of high heels. Each woman can help her man
to be a success in life by harnessing her own goddess appeal.

This is just my own opinion, feel free to disagree if you wish, but it
seems to me that men with hotter women, or rather men with wo-
men who possess and exude a rich tapestry of seductive/goddess
appeal, tend to be more successful than those with simple or ordi-
nary women. I believe that this has something to do with the sed-
uctive influence hot womenthose who embrace everyday glam-
our and sensualityhave on their men. These women somehow
seem to have the ability to bring out the A game (or that be rich or
die trying kind of attitude) out of their men, which is exactly what
those men need in order to be resilient until they achieve success.
So ladies, there is a pivotal role your sensuality is playing in making
your men successful. Never ever underestimate the power of red
lipstick and high heels (Unknown).

Some people say that hotter women require higher maintenan-

ce. And I say its fine, if thats adding more value to the relationship.
But how do you define value in terms of high maintenance, Lebo?
Well, here is how: you first have to understand that sensuality is
the one thing that your man needs to stay sane and also become
productive. It is the highest value you can ever bring into your rela-
tionship. And this is not meant to belittle your intelligence in any

vi158
way. Speaking of intelligence, sensuality is by far the highest form
of intelligence you posses as a woman. What makes it so powerful
is the fact that it incorporates and draws from the wisdom of your
spirit, soul and physical body. It does not rely on just one entity.

As a sensual woman, you inherently possess the most astonishing

power which I believe was meant to help you become a goddess
you were born to be. Being a goddess is your divine calling, by
the way, and to sustain this calling requires high maintenance. But
hold on, there is a difference between being a high maintenance
woman? in the context of this book that is? and being an expen-
sive bitch. The value the later typically brings involves just beautif-
ul looks and/or great body. She is normally very shallow, full of
drama and wants a man who can afford to buy her expensive stuff.

Now you might mistaken this type of a woman for a sensual type
due to her glitz and glamorous persona, but she is not? far from it.
We must learn who is gold and who is simply gold plated (Un-
known). She has very little understanding of what a true sensual
life is about. She also lacks substance. Ever met such a woman?

Mentally entice me. Pick my brain. Dig deeper than the obvious. Let's
make each other think. Show me a different perspective... let's learn each
other so in return we can earn one another. Turn my mind on... let's have
raw... mental orgasms.
? Victoria CaMille

vi159
A high maintenance woman is a woman who is able to, first, under-
stand the value of sensuality in a relationship. She fully realizes that
her ability to harness her desirability advantage (or sensuality) is
highly necessary if she is to be able to consistently be rocking her
mans world. Its an absolute fact that every quality man is looking
for a woman who is always in touch with her sensual side. As Lenny
Kravitz bluntly said, Where Im at in life, the women have got to
come with something else, not just the body, but the mind and
spirit. That is a call for sensuality right there.

A woman who is in touch with her sensuality subliminally empow-

ers her man to prosper, flourish and truly live a happy life. She does
not know it, but she is a huge catalyst to his fulfillment. But those
who suppress their own sensuality whether consciously or uncons-
ciously make it difficult for their men to find the motivation they
need to succeed, and thus be fulfilled. Your sensuality, ladies, inc-
entivizes your men to prosper. Of course, this inherently has much
to do with his sex life. In case you didnt realize this, sex plays a maj-
or role in the business and/or professional success of your man.

Nick Drydakis, senior lecturer in economics at Anglia Ruskin Uni-

versity in Cambrige, England, did a study that revealed that men
who have sex at least 3-4 times a week make 5% more in wages
than their counterparts who arent as lucky. This, in my opinion, is
another reason why having a sensual woman is such a great blessi-
ng in disguise in a mans life. So, if you want to increase the chanc-

vi160
es of your man becoming more successful, have lots of sex with
him. The economics professor says that more sex alone wont res-
ult in a higher paycheck. However, more sexual activity may result
in higher self-esteem, confidence, and overall happiness, which in
turn makes one more amiable, productive, and creative. In the co-
mplete absence of sex , or not having enough sex, most men bec-
ome susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and depression that
could affect their working life. Drydakis writes that sex is a baro-
meter for health, quality of life, wellbeing and happiness.

Now, ladies, did you know that you also have a gift that was meant
to regulate your mans sexual desires? The word regulate in the
dictionary implies to adjust, manage, direct, guide. A lot of ladies
like saying men are dogs. Well, do you know what makes a man a
dog? It is unregulated desires. There is a fundamental yearning in
every man to be seduced. Most women are ignorant of this fact,
and then wonder how on earth they got betrayed.

When that seductress cast her spell on you,

you were gone from me in an instant
And I became nothing but a memory.

Her hair enticed you.

Her hips seduced you.
Her backside confused you.
Her sway drew you.
? Unknown

vi161
Apart from practising self-discipline, your man needs a goddess/
seductress to help him curb his desires and only unleash them in
the right direction. So perhaps you should be responsible for reg-
ulating those desires. Honing the skill to gauge them like a therm-
ometer is highly essential. A true seductress, in essence, masters
the art of regulating her lovers desires. She can ride on his sexual
urges like a surfer in the sea while ensuring it is mutually beneficial.

Keeping the chase alive

Assuming responsibility over your mans libido, first, gives you a

window view into his lustfulness, and thus, the ability to influence
his conduct. Akiko Takeyama wrote, The art of seduction is an ef-
fective way of acting upon other's conducts. So if you are smart
enough, you can prevent your man from ever cheating on you by
making sure that his desire to do so is not enough in comparison
to what you are daily giving him. Your daily inventiveness and sed-
uctive influence on him should keep his mind constantly engag-
ed. Remember, your mans conduct will often be rationalized by
yours. If hes cheating on you, blame him, but also blame yourself
because it is your responsibility to know the sexual battles hes
fighting daily, especially those he chooses not to involve you in.

It takes a lot for a man to remain absolutely faithful to his woman in

this day and age because sexual pressure is at its climax thanks to

vi162
the media. He needs to have a very sharp-witted and canny wo-
man who also has a deep understanding of the susceptible nature
of a man. He needs a woman who perceives that the biggest cha-
llenge men are facing today is regulating their own desires.

Be the good girl he loves. Be the bad girl he desires. Be the naughty girl
he lusts. Be the lady he worships.
? Unknown

Self-discipline may seem like a pretty good advice to give to any

man especially now, however, in reality it can be an insurmoun-
table task in the absence of a woman who is sensually discerning
and 'on the ball' when it comes to perceiving, and thus, knowing
how to regulate her man's desires. Ok, before you start suspect-
ing me of being a male chauvinist who thinks that it's a woman's
sole purpose to selflessly serve her man's needs, I want you to first
try to understand where Im going with this.

I know the power that you already possess as a woman. It is this

very power that puts you in a position to be influential, and Im
talking bedazzling kind of influential, in your mans life. I believe
that this power was given to you also for the purpose of keeping
the chase alive, which is a big challenge for many couples that have
been together for some time. Of course, we all lose that initial dri-
ve and excitement at some point, as this guy put it: Its not some-
thing I can help, I still love my current partner, but the initial spark

vi163
is gone. There is no more excitement in a kiss; I dont get nervous
thinking about whether or not she likes me. Its boring.

Now here is the thing: we need desire and, therefore, to provoke

imagination in order to get back in the game. Relationships be-
come monotonous and dull when that initial feeling vanishes into
thin air. So we need to learn how to sustain passion in order to
make it. This is the reason why your ability to be seductive as a
woman is highly crucial; it stimulates your mans imagination and
keeps reigniting his passion and desire so he can keep wanting you.

By carefully considering what stimulates a mans desires, you can do

much to lure him to your side.
? Lebo Grand

So when you start to realize that his desire for you is substantially
dropping, it is by harnessing your seductive power that you can
be able to inspire him to return back to the loving and passionate
man he once was before. You need to reawaken your sleeping
goddess. How? By tapping into your feminine wisdom that knows
exactly what to do to reignite his desire for you. Remember, men
do not just stop loving, their interest wanes as they gradually lose
their ability to imagine you as a charming and/or alluring creature
they once came across, especially if you have clearly lost touch
with your sensual side. His soul will just slowly corrode as a result
of that. But you can refuel his interest in you, which is an exercise

vi164
that requires you to be self-aware, perceptive, and sharp-witted. I
totally concur that men also need to be resourceful in coming up
with creative ways of daily seducing their women. However, the
ability to seduce comes more naturally to women than it does to
men, which is why I believe women need to take more of the lead
in the seduction game.

For instance, a woman, just by simply stroking her hair, has the
potential to drive most men completely out of their mind. Just a
fleeting smile is enough to get a brother walking straight into a
street lamp pole or a ditch.She lowered her lashes until they
almost cuddled her cheeks and slowly raised them again, like a
theatre curtain. I was to get to know that trick. That was supposed
to make me roll over on my back with all four paws in the air (Ray-
mond Chandler). I mean, how incredible is that? And you know the
most interesting thing about all of these is the fact that it is purely
natural for women to have such an intoxicating effect on men.
Women were born to be seductive creatures than men. Just look
at how extremely sexy they are in high heels, can you say the same
about men? I love what Christian Louboutin said in relation to this:

There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn't exist for men.

Think about Marlene Dietrich crossing her legs? the whole attitude. The
language starts with the shoe and radiates over the whole body. A woman
can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes. Shoes for men are
about elegance or wealth; they are not playing with the inner character.

vi165
As a woman you have such astonishing seductive potential and
mechanism built in you, most of which still remain undiscovered
and untapped. You are so powerful that you can achieve anything
you put your mind to. You can subdue nations like Cleopatra; and
you can attract and keep your ideal man, keep his ass for life if you
really want to (lol). This is the reason why I find it extremely perple-
xing when a woman says that her man dumped her. How the hell!?

A man is easily deceived by appearance; he has a weakness for the vis-

ual. Create the physical presence of a Siren and he is trapped. He cannot
grow bored with you yet he cannot discard you.
? Robert Greene

Here is the thing, unless you are tired of him for whatever reason
and just want to dispose of him, there is no way he should ever get
tired of you... no way! If he dumps you, then honey, with all the
love and compassion in my heart, theres got to be something
wrong with you. Ok, maybe Im ignorant, or underestimate the
seductive skills that other women have out there, or for the fact
that most men can never be content with one woman because it is
in their supposedly innate dog nature not to. But ladies, please
hear me out: you were designed with such a powerful software
that can crack any man-code; its in your DNA.

But, sadly enough, even I cannot deny that there are times when I
feel like you have dropped your standards so low that being unde-

vi166
rrated is just inevitable. You open up a door for men to take you for
granted, cheat on you and leave you heartbroken because you do
not know who you are and what you possess. Most of you dont
know the value of your sensuality and youve been paying a huge
price because of your ignorance. You keep wondering to yourself
why you are always a victim in love situations. Well, are you fully in
touch with your sensual side? Big ups to all the ladies who have
been holding it down since day one and are still going strong.

Just to be clear, I'm not blaming you for the bad state that your
relationship might be in right now, or what you may have experie-
nced in the past. I know that you probably have tried or are even
currently trying the best you can to deal with the susceptible natu-
re of your man, but what if there is something of catastrophic sign-
ificance that you are missing? Like what, Lebo? Well, like the fact
that you have not been living a seductive life and that might be
the reason behind your suffering. What if the main key to restoring
your love life back to its optimal state is to fully reconnect with
your sensual/seductive nature? One thing that I know to be highly
essential is the need to constantly keep working on your wit, intel-
lect as well as looks so as to keep yourself enthralling at all times.
A lot of women (and men) today seem to live with this notion that
theres no need to go to war for a castle that has already been won.

A wife said to her husband: Since we got married we dont go out; we

dont eat in fancy restaurants, and you dont give me money for my hair

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like you used to. You also dont tell me Im beautiful and are not even bot-
hering yourself to be romantic anymore. The husband suddenly breaks
out into laughter, after a while he replies, Darling, have you ever seen a
politician campaigning after winning an election?
? A post I read on Facebook

However, seducing your man is a war that never ends, and vice
versa. In his book, Seduction, Jean Baudrillard states, The law of
seduction takes the form of an uninterrupted ritual exchange
where seducer and seduced constantly raise the stakes in a game
that never ends.

So seduction, in essence, is a game that never ends. You don't just

win your man once, on that day he tells you you stole his heart, but
you have to win him everyday. It is not enough to conquer; one
must know how to seduce (Voltaire). Winning him daily requires
you to be adept at fighting the war of seduction. This war involves
the creative use of an aestheticized body, calculated moves, and
strategic interactions to produce affect and maneuver his conduc-
ts for both his and your benefit. Here are a few tips on how to fight
the war of seduction and keep the chase alive:

First, the more independent you are of him, the more interested
he will be in you. Dont make the mistake that most nice girls make
which is being available all the time, that makes you lose your piz-
zazz (the quality of being exciting and attractive). But again, be

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careful that you dont become too unavailable that he starts to
feel like youre not into him anymore or serious about him. Reme-
mber, the whole notion of watching the degree of your availability
should be done with the intention to bolster your desirability, not
dishearten or defuse his resolve towards having you. You want to
make him realize that you also have a life (i.e. a career, friends and
other interests). This also tells him that you are not clingy and wont
be depending on him for your overall happiness. Now thats one
secret you should learn to make a man want you more. Additiona-
lly, try to avoid expressing your feelings constantly, its like plead-
ing and it makes you come across as needy. You have to learn how
to keep your words short and to the point, otherwise, he may not
get anything you are trying to say, and Im sure that is not the effe-
ct you want to have on him.

One more thing that you need to do is, get the right attitude. Sed-
uction isnt just about looks, but more importantly its also about
attitude. Of course, your outward appearance is very important,
but your attitude is ultimately what wins the war of seduction. A
seductive attitude that says you are mysterious, intelligent and
witty is more intoxicating, at least to a man like me, far more than
anything you could ever put on.

Now, of course, the game of seduction is supposed to be a joint

venture, or should I say joint adventure? It is a partnership in purs-
uit of excellence. So you and your man both need to make a solid

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agreement that you will never ever allow yourselves to get to a
point where you are sloppy or too comfortable to impress, entice
and intrigue each other. Resolve to make this your lifestyle. This is
what seductive living is all about. You know, sirens are never comf-
ortable, thats why they are so adept at their game. They can sed-
uce even the most principled and reputable men in the society.

He knew that if Michelle entered into the walls of the Vatican, shed
corrupt every single clergyman within, causing them to forsake their
vows in trade for a few moments with her. With one glance men would
happily follow her to the bowels of hell and swim across the lake of fire to
get to her.
? Travis Luedke

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away

from me

If you study the great seductresses, one thing they had in comm-
on was great verbal skills. It was their chief aphrodisiac. This is why
courtesans studied speech, as well as storytelling and poetry by
the ream. These were things they learned in order to get inside a
man's head. Words are potent, erotic and powerful. Even a sen-
sual life has its own unique words and language which must be
learned and integrated daily for one to live a truly seductive life.
Words condition our minds, and thus, our daily reality. Now if in-
deed the words you use on a daily basis create the reality you live

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in, imagine what kind of reality you would have by now if your mo-
uth was constantly filled with words that are beautiful, enriching to
the soul and full of life. Our entire reality would be amazing!

Ladies, its time to start working on enhancing your verbal skills.

Start reading romantic novels, even erotica if you have to, so that
you can cultivate a sensual tone in your language as well as learn
the potency of certain words. If seducing your man daily is really
that important to you, and it should be, youll need to commit
yourself to doing this consistently. Also watch romantic movies to
understand the effect of words and their relationship with emot-
ions. Remember, your goal is to become the ultimate seductress
your man has ever seen. Of course, most people will tell you this is
unrealistic and you should come back to reality. But reality is a pri-
son. What people lack in life is not more reality but illusion, fanta-
sy, play, said Robert Greene.

Fantasy world is actually where our souls live. Reality runs the risk
of spoiling things, dont you think? The fantasy is often better.
Thats where the soul is fulfilled. Reality struggles to fulfill the soul,
thats why were often so unhappy. But fantasy is the world of the
soul (James Lusarde).

When you live from the soul, youre actually living from a place that
is constantly filled with adventure. Inspiration, creativity, and joy
overflow when you live from the soul. Your whole reality is different.

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