I N E R S

0 00 D
D O F 1
LAN

A GUIDE TO GREATER CLEVELANDS GREASY

SPOONS, FAMILY RESTAURANTS, AND DINERS
(52 diners in 52 weeks by one crazed girl)

$4
 Table of Contents

Diner Lists............................................p. 3
West Side Diners....................................p. 4

East Side Diners.................................................p. 13

South Side Diners...............................................p. 18

Far West Diners.................................................p. 21

Far East Diners.................................................p. 22

Out of Town Diners............................................p. 22

Diner Cook Interview & Collage.................pp. 24-25

Diner Fun...................................................pp. 26-28

HIS???
OU DO T
ID Y
W HY D
It was a 2014 New Years resolution. I wanted to support local businesses,
but there was so much mystery behind all these family restaurants, diners, and cafes,
so I wanted to dispel the secrecy and bring about awareness to all these fine eateries,
instead of resorting to a chain restaurant. This year, I faced all sorts of reactions - peo-
ple have thanked me and given me free food, a diner owner kicked me out for over-
staying my welcome and another waitres contacted me because she was offended.
Nonetheless, any of these
places serve food with the HEART. The only places I interviewed that are chains are
2 Waffle House and Bob Evans since those are both oddities for the location.
 Lists
Overall Best Diners Huge Menu Selection Diners
1.) Cafe Miami 1.) Mikes Place
2.) Diana Bakers 2.) Georges Kitchen
3.) Borderline Cafe 3.) Blue Sky Restaurant

Best Atmosphere Diners Vegetarian Friendly Diners

1.) Cafe Miami 1.) Franks Falafel
2.) The Rustic 2.) Pappous Cafe
3.) Mikes Place 3.) L.A. Cafe

Cheapest American (2 eggs, bacon, Junk Food Diners

homefries, toast) Breakfast 1.) Sals & Als
1.) Nicks Diner - $2.99 coffee included 2.) Georges Kitchen
2.) Cafe Miami - $2.50 3.) Mikes Place
3.) Franks Falafel - $2.99

GREASY AS CAN BE Diners

Best Diners for Fancy Brunch 1.) Moms Family Restaurant
1.) Borderline Cafe 2.) Nicks Diner
2.) Blue Sky Restaurant 3.)Lake House Cafe
3.) Pappous Cafe/Southside Diner (tied)

COFFEE?! CAWFEE!! Diners

1.) Borderline Cafe - best diner
coffee
2.) The Shore - always filling up
your cup asap
3.) Annie & Earls - coffee made
fresh

****Consuming raw or undercooked

meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or
eggs may increase your risk of food-
borne illness.****

3
 West Side Diners
Moms Family Restaurant/6512 Clark Ave., Cleveland, OH 44102 (216) 631-0099
Hrs: M-Sat 6a-5p, Sun 8a-3p
Moms, where you feel right at home in your mothers living room, in the midst of a renovation gone
wrong. There is dollar store decor everywhere, almost a country market meets dentist office ambiance
to it. The moulding on the ceiling is falling apart. Wood paneling encloses you, complete with fake
plastic grapes as the final touch. Menu prices are nothing to complain about - almost all sandwiches are
$5 and country meals are $7. For eggs, bacon, homefries, and toast, that runs you about $3.16. Skilllets
are $4 to $5, but beware, bacon is on most of em. Only 1 or no refills on all beverages, so savor that
warm liquid also known as coffee carefully.
Diners around were talking about commie Obama and a police officer who sat behind us gave details
of a hit and run. A clientele that you really cant describe in words. Eggs bubble and homefries are
saturated in oil. Definitely puts the GREASY in the greasy spoon. Food here is alright - nothing stellar,
but nothing awful either. Image is of a farmers skillet.
B B B /5

Nicks Diner/4116 Lorain Ave., Cleveland, OH 44113 (216) 631-7757

Hrs: M-F 7a-3p Sat-Sun 7a-4p
It was stripped of its character - the bright colors, mediocre sign guy paintings that are usually spotted in on the west
side, the grime! Now its renovated everything. Food is still the same, but now its just a mismatch between super greasy
food that is sometimes inconsistent with brand new booths and clean everything. I would take out of towners here for the
atmosphere - hole in a wall vibe, but now its slowly adapting to the new Ohio City vibe :( Still one of the best deals on the
westside - $2.99 breakfast deal of 3 eggs, 3 meat, toast, and HF, but as Patrick Henry would say GIVE ME GRIME DIN-
ERS OR GIVE ME DEATH.
B B B /5

Franks Falafel House/1823 W. 65th St., Cleveland, OH 44102

Hrs: M-Sa 7a-9p Sun 7a-3p
Franks Falafel - not only one of the best places to nab breakfast for the cheapest - 2.99 for 2 egg breakfast with the fixins,
but also one of the best places in Cleveland to grab falafel. The restaurant looks barren on the outside, but dont let that
fool you. Its like a Lebanese leisure lounge on the inside - nice and toasty even on the coldest of days (but that maybe the
same in the summer months...) Waitress has some sass and humor, very quick wit. She knows the menu well and will give
suggestions if you ask for them. The trash can is labeled ``not trash`` so don`t throw your garbage away there.
I got a veggie shwarma wrap, which is unlike anything Ive seen in Cleveland. Veggies - especially mushrooms with the
shwarma seasoning. You will not be missin shwarma wraps when you can have the veggie version of it. I got some falafel
on the side and their blend is super moist and fresh! Not crispy or crunchy like some other spots in Cleveland. If you ask
for hot sauce, you get their own homemade hot sauce, similar to harissa, but not as saucy and very spicy. Packs a punch
unlike your Tabascos. One slurp of that sauce and your sinuses clear up! My friend had the shwarma salad and ate it all up.
With such personalized service and fresh food, along with combining breakfast with Lebanese food, this maybe my go-to
diner-esque diner for the vegetarians out there.
B B B B B/5

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Big Egg Family Restaurant/5107 Detroit Ave., Cleve-
land, OH 44102 (216)281-1600
Hrs:M-Th 6a-9p, Fri-Sat 24 hrs Sun 6a-8p
Iinstitution diners - diners that people love because of nostalgia.
They have been around for decades. One of those diners My par-
ents told me to stay away from here as a little kid not because of a
bad neighborhood, but because of the GREASINESS of the food.
Everytime we would pass by this diner when I was a child, my
mother would give pause and say Julie, thats the Big Egg. Bad
memories there....more like the Greasy Egg.
I stroll in at 11:00pm, thinking this is the prime time to go. Not
so. The parking lot is abandoned with one or two stray cars in the
corner of the lot. The back away entrance has a chilled lobby, one
booth being utilized as a bench, a super bright x-mas tree and a
claw machine out of order. There is a giant tube tv showing the
flashbacks of a football game. The last of the Playhouse Square red
coats were there finishing their meals. But this place has a macabre
feeling to it. One half of the dining area is unlit, with only bright
fluorescent x-mas lights flashing; a light show for no one but the
waitress. I got the menu, which is two sided for late-nights, and
you pay for the late-night opportunity. $9-$10 skillets, $6.60-$9
omelettes.
I ordered a Mexican omelette, which includes onions, peppers, to-
matoes, chili, and cheese. Oddly enough an omelette with onions,
peppers, mushrooms, and tomatoes cost more than that? I asked for
omelette with no chili. At this point my friend and I are the only
customers here. Order was filled quickly, but got an omelette with
chili. Hashbrowns are a hashbrown flavorless pancake. My friend
got mozzarella sticks and she said those were good, but Im pretty
sure because they were deep-fried. We left after 30 minutes since I
was just getting more and more bummed out.
Maybe the Big Egg was great 40 years ago, but this institution
diner should have just ended while they were ahead. If anything
the bad memories are being passed down like a cursed relic, gen-
eration to generation. Food here is overpriced and lacking at night.
For the quality of the food, this should be $4-$5, but youre better
off just going to sleep starving and waking up early for a better
breakfast. As I was about to get in my car, I took one look back
at the Big Egg, and the chefs screen door was flapping back and
forth in the wind, signalling some sort of goodbye to me. I did
not wave back.
B /5
Lake House Cafe/11850 Edgewater Dr., Lake-
wood, OH (216)228-5253 Hrs: T-Th 8a-2:30p
5-8p, Fri-Sat 8a-2:30p 5-9p, Sun 8a-2:30p
Difference between a 2 and a 3: three stars I will come back.
At the moment 2 hours after eating here, I am experienc-
ing a dull stomach ache. Possibly due to the insane amount
of grease on the hash browns, which more so resemble
undercooked potato chips. According to some, they love
potato chip hashbrowns. Ok, then get some lays potato
chips, cover em with canola oil, and serve them lukewarm.
If you want to take a sweetie to a restaurant on the lake, lets
take it, this will probably be the place, but you are better
off having a picnic at Edgewater on a warmer than average
Cleveland winter day.
The waiter here is pretty chatty. He really likes the words
sure and awesome. Coffee is hot and thats what mat-
ters on a 12 degree day. Food is more expensive than most
diners. Omelettes are $8 or so and basic American break-
fast is $5, $6 for bacon and sausage included. I ordered
the spinach/feta omelette which is supposed to come with
tomato/cucumber salad. But nothin there! You do get giant
portions, but you realize when its all mediocre food, its
not that enjoyable to be eating all that junk. My friend got
pancakes the size of your head, but bouncy was the first
word that came to his mind when describing them and the
pancake looked raw - it started breaking apart easily and
you can even peel the layer that was cooked off. Only thing
goin for this place is the view on the lake.
B B/5

Genes Place to Dine/3730 Rocky River Dr., Cleveland, OH 44111 (216) 252-1741 Hrs: Sun-Th 8am-8:30p,
Fri-Sat 8am-9:30p
This is one of those places Ill go to for the free popcorn and oogling at the 30s/40s decor of Hollywood at its prime. I mean this
isnt like you are stepping back into that time, but someone aiming to recreate that, but not fully, in the late 80s. When I first
ate here, I just kept walking into different rooms to look at the decorations, but then actually upon sitting down, I realized eh, I
already experienced the best part.
The menu is pretty entertaining since there are actor/actress names for the entrees. But looking at the entrees, there wasnt any-
thing special about them, aside for the name. Prices are middle tier ($5-$7), but you still have enough to cover for tip with a $10
bill.
Potato pancakes were awful. Not fried all the way and broke apart from the amount of oil saturated, almost like a moist sponge
lost at the bottom of a dirty dish sink.I stopped eating them halfway because my stomach couldnt handle all that oil. I felt pretty
bad just because this is my friends favorite place to dine. My friends enjoyed their burgers, but since then I havent been back.
Maybe I need to give it another chance to see if Genes Place lives up to the acting career of all the celebrities mentioned in the
restaurant.
B B B/5 5
Cafe Miami/4157 State Rd., Cleveland, OH 44109 (216)661-3739 Hrs: Sun-Sat 9a-2p
Cafe Miami is a crown jewel. Show me another diner that is half consignment shop/half cafe WITH THE DINER FOOD PRIC-
ES. I have taken people of all walks of life here, the metalhead friend who loves his Taco Bell, my parents who frequent family
restaurants every week, and ritzy acquaintances who always ask me what the latest place is to get $20 Mexican-Asian fusion
at. With all these differences, they can all agree on one thing, Cafe Miami has some of the best food with the best atmosphere
in Cleveland. When people out of town come to Cleveland, I take them here. There is nothing else like it. The total epitome of
unique. When I want to sum up Cafe Miami, I provide this piece of imagery: Imagine, you are in your great aunts living room.
She is making you breakfast while you sit in silence waiting for your food. You look around her living quarters from your seat.
There is a 1992 Mardi Gras painting featuring a gaudy woman dancing, above there is a framed photo of Jimi Hendrix, to the
right, a collectible Grand Theft Auto Playstation 2 disc sealed and protected by glass and black framing. This is Cafe Miami.
Everything is for sale. If anything, take your great aunt here on her birthday and tell her to pick something and buy that for her
as her gift. I will guarantee you it will go well with her souvenir sombreros and plastic trees in her living room.

Larry, the owner, cooks your food. I have never been here when Larry hasnt been cooking my food. That means super consis-
tent quality. Within the past year, he has added to the American Breakfast ($2.50) a little biscuit loaf slice. Not sure if he stopped
it, but for all the food you get for $2.50 - 2 eggs, bacon, homefries, toast, and the lil biscuit loaf, you will be stuffed. $1 coffees
too. Cheap as it gets! The pancakes are not to be passed up on. I have stressed to people to order just at least one pancake so they
can experience the heavenly fluffy clouds without leavin earth - all encaptured in a pancake. Standout pancakes. Powdered sugar
dusted on top. Strawberry preserves too. Geez, just save that for your take home dessert. Waitress is super attentive, but when it
gets busy, it gets busy, since theres only waitress. But dont worry, just admire the doilies on the table and check out the base-
ment bathroom, which features a Joe Camel tapestry.
B B B B B/5

Diannas Deli & Restaurant/1332 W. 117th St., Lake-
wood, OH 44107 (216)521-9393 Hrs: 24 hrs.
First off, you only go here if you want to eat after hours because
at that time, no other diners that serve fulfilling, wholesome
food are open, as well as you are stuck in Lakewood. If you
arent stuck in Lakewood, you would do yourself a favor and
check out Diana Bakers which is the supreme 24 hour diner in
Cleveland.
The other justification for people going to Diannas is for the
crazy patrons, but honestly you are left hoping for an odd
experience, but lately, its mellowed out. Maybe the characters
strolled over to My Friends?
But youre stuck in Lakewood so you go to the lesser Diana.
The positive aspect of Diannas is that they wont kick you out
if you are there for a few hours. I only know this from experi-
ence (being there from 2-5am). They will refill your coffee
repeatedly, even though they secretly despise you. The only
thing I can safely eat here is rice pudding and baklava dont
mess up Greek desserts.I have made repeated mistakes ordering
a fried vegetable appetizer, where my stomach made it known
the oil is not switched out too often and slides around your
tummy, crepes, where they resembled blackened fish more than
a breakfast dish, and a veggie burrito, which looks like pizza
grease is oozing out.
B B/5
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Somers Place/4197 W. 150th St., Cleveland, OH
44135 (216)671-4200 Hrs: M-Th 5:30a-10p, F-
Sat 5:30a-11p, Sun 6a-9p
Diner off of the highway. Usually a bad sign. Sometimes
these diners house lonely truck drivers, but in this case,
its lonely middle aged men from West Park, stuck in the
routine of eating at an awful but cheap restaurant. I took
my friend, whose father does such a thing. He told me his
father would take him here when he would get good grades
on his report card. After this meal, this is a place you take
your child when you want to punish him/her for their report
card.
I walk in and I hear one of the servers saying someone
gave me a counterfeit one dollar bill! Well shucks, that
lured me in to stay and check out Somers. Theres a pay to
know your weight scale when you walk in. Probably use-
ful for guests to compare before/after Somers meals.The
ceiling is insane - sorta like Great Northern Mall circa early
90s. The illusion of a skylight ceiling, but in reality its
drop ceiling paired with mirrors. This may be a good idea
for a dance studio, but not for an eating establishment, es-
pecially one that already has an abundant amount of lights.
You have lighting all throughout your periphery. All the
artificial lighting makes you subconsciously on-edge dur-
ing your stay; you cant really relax. The breakfast menu
goes till 11:30a, and while some specials (like eating before
8am) makes the meal $3-$5 total, do yourself a favor
and pay for the extra few dollars at another restaurant so
you can enjoy your food. They dont know the difference
between over-easy and sunny side up. Pancakes are bland
and rubbery. You can tell they use Bisquick. Homefries are
undercooked, where some of the potatoes are just covered
in grease, but still very dense. We all left in shame.
B/5
 Coffee Pot/12415 Madison Ave., Lakewood, OH 44107 (216)226-6443 Hrs: T-Fri 6a-3p, Sat-Sun 7a-2p
Coffee Pot is a true standby for west-siders. In a land full of cash only diners, this one takes CARD. But that shouldnt be your
only reason to go here! You walk in and you are surrounded by swamp colors, not in a mucky way, but as though you entered
a beautiful southern kitchen shaded by moss covered trees. Intimate lighting of stained glass chandeliers look over each booth.
Taking a glance around you realize most of the family works here - a young man in the kitchen, mother waitressing, and tween-
age daughter fillin up those cawfees (the old chef that used to be here ruled. Star off because hes not here anymore).
The menu showcases some of the best prices in town for food. $4.50-$6 for omelettes, $2.95 for 2 eggs, homefries, and toast,
$1.50 for coffee, but the ultimate premiere feature isnt on the menu, but its a everyday standby special - the HANGOVER
SPECIAL. This special is true feng-sui - balance of grease and juice. 1 egg, 1 bacon or sausage, homefries, 1 hotcake, 1 cup of
coffee, and 1 glass of orange juice. I wasnt hungover...so I ordered the spinach/feta omelette instead, but I will defend the hang-
over special - which i have consumed during such enduring times.
While coffee is not amazing, its black and bitter, but no chemical taste comes to the palette, so its ok! The young daughter fills
up your cup of coffee, her presence demanding the respect and awareness of a career diner waitress. With her sense of ease but
powerful energy, she could easily be the next Beyonce, but I hope she takes over Coffee Pot. Maybe she can do both? Omelette
was pretty good - feta cheese melted and the omelette wasnt overcooked or lacking any milk. Homefries are some of the best
homefries in town. They put a little seasoning on them to make them reddish. Maybe chili pepper? All I know is I chowed them
down even though I wasnt in a rush.
Oh yeah. Look for the sign above the diner counter that says Instant human, just add coffee. Laughable but TRUE. AFTER
HAVING COFFEE POT I WAS 100% HUMAN. Invigorating!!
B B B 1/2 / 5
Joes/19215 Hilliard Blvd., Rocky River, OH 44116
(440)333-7890 Hrs: M-W 7a-9p, Th-Sat 7a-10p
This is one of the most expensive diner/delis in the world for very
mediocre, bland food. Whenever people ask me Hey lets go to Joes!,
I wonder why do you want to go to a restaurant that strives to act and
look like a chain restaurant and pay $10-$12 for sandwiches? This is not
fine dining THIS IS A DELI PEOPLE. They dont serve breakfast all
day, only till 10:30am, but I guess their clientele is 55+, who tend (not
trying to make sweeping generalizations here) to wake up early. I dont
like their coffee - Folgers or even worse, but they still charge you $2.00
This stuff is awful dont even try to drink it. We had two waitresses and
it just slowed them down even more than having one capable waitress.
Constantly coordinating with each other what to do.
My friend liked his corned beef sandwich, so I wont complain about
that, but I ordered some dandelion greens for the novelty. Not often you
see that on the menu. It was $9.50 for greens. Yes. GREENS. Rabbits
eat this stuff for free. I was thinking well maybe they make it a salad,
add some interesting flavors in it. Instead they overloaded it with garlic
and pine nuts I felt I was only eating raw garlic. I was indeed better off
eating dandelion greens with the rabbits and staying home.
B /5
Gray Dog Diner/13411 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, OH 44107 (216)228-8269 Hrs:M-Fri 6a-8p, Sat 7a-2p, Sun
8a-2p
Gray Dog is a nice step up if you want fancier diner fare like corned beef on a croissant, cheap corned beef hash, breakfast wraps,
huevos rancheros, things of that nature. More expensive than other places, so medium tier in terms of pricing ($5-$7) Its pretty
spotless for a diner, but it doesnt have the history as other diners do. But they have incorporated wood paneling, so they acknowl-
edge the history of diner interior design. Atmosphere is reminiscent of a hometown country feel, but if the owners read Southern
Living on a monthly basis.
They have daily specials, but corned beef, cant stress it enough. Clearly not out of a can. Looking at the menu, there was a pretty
wide range of things to order. Theres something that even comes with aioli. Any menu that has aioli IS A WINNER TO ME. Take
some plain as mayo, but instead have garlic and olive oil, best condiment on the block! I got huevos rancheros without chorizo,
and it lacked any sort of flavor. Corned beef hash is excellent. Food is hit or miss here, especially the specialty food. Coffee is
smooth, better than average diner coffee, since you can taste coffee beans in it.
Oh yeah the gray dog statue in the front that the diner is named after...not sure if its really gray? More of a brown taupe color
with black speckles. Guess taupe dog diner doesnt have a ring to it.
B B B /5
7
Shore Restaurant/12009 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, OH 44107 (216)221-8711 Hrs:M-Sat 6a-4p, Sun 6a-3p
The Shore rules! Even though its cash only, you would immediately feel guilty about complaining about it because the whole
family works here and they are SO GENUINE. For cash only, prices are super low, where I found myself getting vortexd into
buying 3 pieces of french toast, not knowing that would be 6 slices total! For all that french toast it was only $4-$5. For an
American breakfast (eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, toast) it was only $2.75, which is one of the lowest Ive seen for that meal. The
waiter, one of the sons, was super attentive for our coffee.With how quickly its refilled, you can have a coffee chugging contest
with someone, but I wouldnt recommend it.
Favorite part about this place? Interior design here. No other diner I know can even come close to the ambiance that is invoked
by the marbled wood paneling, plastic trees, drop leaf booth tables, plastic flower bouquets, and a spectrum of beiges, browns,
and pinks. Ideal for bringing your grandmother or a first date here. Or even more ideal to have your grandmother meet your date
here.
B B B B 1/2 / 5
The Place to Be/1391 Warren Rd., Lakewood, OH 44107 (216)226-8783 Hrs:M-Sun 6:30a-3p
You are seated pretty quickly, and even if you have to wait its only for a few minutes. This place is cash only, which isnt a big
deal to me because I usually carry cash. Prices are decent in the $5-$7 range, with a splattering of specialty pancakes such as
oreo or cheesecake. The food overall is good quality - not super greasy, and they offer skillets, so Im sold. Not anything that
stands out to me, just an above average diner where you dont have to worry about food poisoning, obnoxious regulars or your
order coming out wrong. Just a nice, worry-free diner, like a ride down a waterparks lazy river. B B B/5

Georges Kitchen/13101 Triskett Rd., Cleveland OH

44111 (216)671-0430 Hrs: M-Sun 6a-10p
A+ if you only factored the interior. Red booths everywhere.
Looks almost eerie to walk in there. An endless cornucopia
of unflattering photos using unnecessary flash to capture the
greasiness and magnitude of their entrees (check out the sloppy
plate photo.) I am usually hypnotized enough to go in, sit, and
eat. Menu covers a multitude of international dining - Pol-
ish (pierogies), Greece (pretty much Greek style everything),
Italy (fettucine and pasta bakes), China (stir-fry), Switzerland
(chicken cordon bleu), and I believe even some Mexican fare
represented (quesadillas). This truly represents what Cleveland
is all about. A melting pot all in one restaurant.
Food, chicken paprikash and meat dishes are where its at
here. Lots of saucey chicken, beef, and even some seafood.
Breakfast is pretty heavy on the stomach, but this is what you
want on any given Sunday to nurse your Madison Bar Crawl create yr own omelette at L.A. Cafe for $5!!!!!
hangover. Check out George who is usually sitting at the first
booth by the door, Give him a few compliments and onward to
the rest of your day. B B B B/5

L.A. Cafe & Catering/ 20800 Center Ridge Rd., Rocky River, OH 44116 (440)321-1977 Hrs:M-F 8a-2p
L.A. Cafe is tucked away in the main strip of chain restaurants and shopping plazas one knows as Rocky River . But, to the
usual diner hopper, one is comforted to know it is located next to the Rustic. Yes, this cafe/diner is in the office building with
the weird scribble art, same building as Planned Parenthood. L.A. Cafe has been open since 2011, mostly serving their regulars
within the building, such has doing deliveries to people on different floors. The diner counter space is one of the smallest Ive
seen - holds 8-10 people max, but that means super personal service.
Its a two woman operation, but one of the women were out of town or on vacation that day, so extra credit goes to the owner
who was doing all the cooking and serving to our party of three. Specials are different than some, including deep fried green
beans with ranch and veggie burgers, which were surprisingly good. The owner jumped into our conversation about 45 records,
telling us she thinks its nice people still collect them. She also offered us free cookies (+1!!!!) and told us her story about the
diner. Coffee was diner coffee - neutral, but with a sense of predictability, aaaand its fair trade, so predictable but not toooo pre-
dictable. Omelettes stood out from other diners because they are MAKE YOUR OWN HERE FOR $5 AS MANY TOPPINGS
AS YOU WANT. So try that out because you can make your own creations!
Clientele is friendly here. Recommend stopping by and eating here rather than doing a to go order. While a small countertop
may make one feel uneasy at first, owners can notice new faces and love to chat it up with you. B B B B B / 5

8
Bob Evans/14135 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, OH 44107 Hrs: M-Sun 6a-10p
Okay youre in Lakewood, otherwise known as diner dwelling of the Midwest. You are surrounded by diners - the Shore, Dian-
nas, The Place to Be, Coffee Pot, Johns Diner, Borderline, Gray Dog Diner. The list goes on. You think to yourself, no I dont
want to support the small businesses, where I can get breakfast for $6 or less. I want to pay $10 for mediocre meat n potatoes. I
want food that I can get in the freezer aisle of Giant Eagle, but I am too lazy to heat it up. So you go to Bob Evans.
Opening day, I walk in and its sensory overload. 5 waitresses are screaming at me, talking over each other with GOOD
MORNI-GOOD-WELCOME-TO-VANS!!!! The hostess, who dont even try to establish a relationship with because you will
see another 2-3 waitresses and another hostess in the next hour, starts telling you all the specials as she is leading you through
the mess hall known as Bob Evans. I cant pay attention because I am distracted at every step of the way, looking to see what
the clientele is here. At 10:30am, all seniors clear out and its mostly families. But then again its summer, so its parents stuck
with their kids who otherwise would be in school. Hostess seats us, and tells us she is from Parma, OH. Wtf? Why do I need to
know such unnecessary information on everyones nametag. She opens up the menus for us and says LOOK AT DEEZ BEAU-
TIES HERE. Theyre not bombshells and babes, its just plain ol egg breakfasts. Hostess says to wait because our waitress is
coming.
Waitress comes over. I ask her what city she is from since it says so on her nametag. She says she is from north, but immedi-
ately assures she aint no damn yankee and she grew up in the deep south. She comes back with our coffees, and she asked
if Im ready to order. I wasnt and she asked me what I was deciding between. I told her cornmeal mush or garden omelette. Her
response on the first day of work for her, opening day of Bob Evans Lakewood: THE CORNMEAL MUSH IS *REALLY*
F&^%CKING GOOD!!
Things have escalated very quickly.
If she is going to cuss, I might as well make it worth her time. I order the really f&^%cking good cornmeal mush. It was
good, but not worthy enough of a cuss word. Eggs are better than most. I didnt get any hashbrowns and it was $7.99. $7.99 for
eggs and corn, yeah what a rip. Dining companion orders the multigrain pancakes for us to split. Im pretty sure Bob Evans has
no concept of multigrain, but instead thought multigrain meant multiply the amounts of teaspoons the recipe calls for cinnamon
because all I could taste was cinnamon. Multigrain pancakes were so sweet and cinnamon roll-esque, neither of us could finish
them. Dining companion also ordered some eggs and hashbrowns and he said they were okay, but he paid $7 or so for food you
can get for $3 at Coffee Pot.
We got our bill and looked in shame at the idea of spending $27 at Bob Evans. We did this for the sake of saving countless
people - friends, family, acquaintances, strangers - the money they would dump on an expensive meal. I think Bob Evans is for
suburbanites who are too sloth-like to cook breakfast food to realize how cheap it is to make, so they go to Bob Evans to buy
$10 egg breakfasts. I thought Lakewood was a bit smarter than that, but I guess the city DEMANDS a Bob Evans. I give this
place three years until it goes out of business like the Lakewood Five Guys and IHOP.
B B /5

9
Borderline Cafe/18510 Detroit Ave. Lakewood, OH 44107 (216)529-1949 Hrs: W-Sun 7a-1:30p
Friends gave me a heads up before going that this place gets PACKED especially for Saturday and Sunday. I went at 8am. Sure
Im probably half asleep while driving there, but once you walk in RISE AND SUNSHINE BABYCAKES. The interior is....
dandelions. Dandelion yellow walls and leafy green chairs, so lets just call it dandelions, even though theyre aiming to be
Southwestern. The soundtrack to your dining experience is some mixture of classic rock, whether it be the Beatles or some old
man doodling on his electric guitar, similar to walking into Guitar Center. I also noticed many people dine here alone, which
means the food must be that good or all their friends are flakes like mine and overslept.
Menu reflects the Southwestern notion - breakfast quesadillas, burritos, huevos rancheros, as well as other classic standbys such
as an eggs benedict. However, this is not the place you order your standard American breakfast, where 2 eggs, homefries, bacon,
and toast will cost you $6.50. Why would you order the most basic diner meal ever here? Get that at Coffee Pot. This place is
more expensive than most diners ($5-9.50), but servings are super filling. Coffee has a coffee flavor, rather than neutral bitter
liquid. I ordered the veggie burrito. Waitress asked if I wanted any hot sauce, and instead of receiving a clear condiment bottle
filled with a mystery hot sauce, she gave me two types of hot sauce - Tapatio and Tabasco. I hope they catch on to realizing that
Cholula is the best hot sauce, but I guess its an underdog in the race of hot sauces. The burrito was pretty good - salsa tasted
homemade, but burrito could use a nice spicy pepper jack cheese. Im picky with my burritos though, but this was one of the
best breakfast burritos Ive eaten. I also bought a side of fruit. Impressive fruit dish, lots of ripe seasonal fruit in there.
Cant wait to come back here again when I have the money. Till then, going to the Coffee Pots and Shores of the world.
B B B B B/5

Rustic Restaurant/20780 Center Ridge Rd., Rocky
River, OH 44116 (440)333-2422
The Rustic was a standby for my grandparents. Was because
my grandparents passed away, but that doesnt mean I cant
keep the tradition going in the family. The interior is just perfect
to me. After seeing so many 50s theme diners, its nice to see a
diner that encaptures kitsch interior with cabin exterior. If any-
thing, I wish Rocky River had more Rustics and the Woods than
being saturated with chain restaurants. Aside from that, you
enter the Rustic as though you are entering a roadhouse. There
are doors everywhere and you have to figure out which door to
choose that leads you to the dining area. Waitresses welcome
you, sporting shorts, which were probably risque back in when
the diner first opened, but now Id think of it as sophisticated
sex appeal. Dare not equate this with a Tilted Kilt, that would
be sacrilege. There is wood everywhere, not only wood panels
but logs as well from the cabin design. Tableside lamps make
your dining experience a bit more serene.
Menu consists of classic standbys such as burgers, meat
sandwiches, melts, as well as sides done right such as onion
rings, sweet fries (sweet potato fries), and fried zucchini. The
specials always have standouts. My friend ordered the chicken
pot pie, while I ordered fried mushrooms, onion rings - beer
battered!!, and a slice of home baked peach pie. Prices are a bit
more expensive than other diners for dinner, but the atmosphere
pays you back. Onion rings are superior to any other in the area.
Super crisp and the batter isnt all crumbly. The chicken pot pie
is in a pie tin, unlike other restaurants which serve it in a skillet.
He finished his pot pie within minutes and wanted to order an-
other even though he was stuffed. Peach pie had fresh peaches,
not canned. $2.99 for a slice, which is cheaper than usual.
I hope the Rustic stays around for decades more, so I too can
follow my grandparents footsteps and become a regular here
when I am 73.
B B B B/5
Johns Diner/18260 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, OH
(216)228-0871 Hrs: M-Sat 6a-8p, Sun 7a-3p
I always drive by thinking this place is abandoned, but I
discovered indeed it was not! I met up with a friend here
and we walk in to this dark errr I mean natural lit dining
car. Super kitschy in here. I remember seeing a wooden
framed animal pairing painting on the wall. The elderly
waitress served us pretty quickly. Food on menu was $5-
$7 which isnt too bad. My friend noted that the waitress
didnt write down our order when we were ordering. Not
sure why. The cook couldnt hear well so alas we were
caught in the middle of a YELLING exchange between the
waitress and cook. COUNTRY FRIED STEAK. YEAH.
OVER EASY EGGS WITH POTATOES. OVER EASY
YA KNOW LIKE SUNNY SIDE UP. YEAH. THATS IT.
OK. RYE TOAST. NO NOT WHEAT RYE. OK GOOD.
Maybe just write down the order and hand it to him and
save your throat a lozenge or too?
Maxwell House coffee. Dont even bother ordering coffee
here. They do make their own soda!! With cane sugar and
all! That impressed me. The homefries were good - fresh
sliced up potatoes. The eggs were runny. Over easy eggs
are not sunny side up. Get it right. Country fried steak was
two thumbs up, but how hard is it to make meat with
tons of breading, then fried, taste good?
B B B/5

10
Steves Lunch/5004 Lorain Ave., Cleveland, OH
44102 (216)961-1460 Hrs: 24 hrs
Steves Lunch not only has hot dogs but BREAKFAST!! For 2
eggs, home fries and toast, its $2.35. Thats insane. For 24 hour
a day, those sorta prices never change by the hour unlike other
24 hr diners. I ordered pierogies and they were good for a dive.
Better than your local chain grocery freezer section. They know
how to brown the onions just right. Friends (who may/may not
work at another hot dog joint) ordered chili dogs and loved em
as always. Black coffee was what you would expect, easy to
down in a short amount of time. I was pressured to have sugar
in my coffee repeatedly after I said no again and again, so I was
nervous to try it out, but no...just normal black coffee.
The jukebox had Grand Funk, and when its a Sunday night at
1:35 am, thats all that I want to hear and they deliver. Waitress
was a sage on the stage, she was there for guidance at all times.
The most memorable piece of advice she told me was nothin
wrong with bein called a bitch you know you doin somethin
right. B B B B /5
Rubins Family Restaurant/14651 Lorain Ave.,
Cleveland, OH 44111 Hrs: 24 hrs
I have a few friends that grew up in West Park,
where they would eat at Rubins almost EVERY
SINGLE DAY. After having my go at Rubins,
I admire the endurance as well as the total lack
regard of health to accomplish such a feat.
You walk into Rubins and you immediately get a
staredown from the fish in the aquarium! This is
the most exciting aspect of Rubins, the fish that
follow your every move. Who needs a security
camera when you got them?? Also, there is a
little arcade, which I appreciate, since I might
want to game at 4am.
Aside from the unsettling journey from door-
way to booth, waitresses are very friendly here.
Coffee was ok...not awful, not amazing, which
is fine by me at this point, but I made a misstep
that I cannot blame anyone but myself. I saw on
the menu a quesadilla omelette. The descrip-
tion included onions, cheese, peppers, and salsa,
so I thought that this is simply quesadilla ingre-
dients in an omelette, neat! Just like other diners
have a gyro omelette with gyro ingredients
in it, but no, not the case. On arrival, I realized
that this quesadilla was actually two tortillas
sandwiching....a layer of egg. There was a disk of
egg and a layer of American cheese, no onions or
peppers in sight (after I peeled back the top layer
of tortilla to reveal such a disappointment).The
egg was semi-sweet, and the salsa was served in
a container too small to save this dish. I forced
myself to eat half of it, but the blandness com-
bined with a slight sweet aftertaste from the egg
was causing my stomach to churn.
I went back to Rubins after this, and the food is
just as mediocre. I think I keep coming back here
for the decor (see second paragraph).
B B /5
11
 Diana Bakers Diner/3380 W. 46th St., Cleveland, OH 44102 (216)631-1533 Hrs: 24 hrs
If you want a real 24 hr. diner experience - drunks and all, you go here. Im not sure why I would be hanging around this area
any other time, but this diner is the attraction. When you walk into Diana Bakers Diner, you leave your hard earned Ameri-
can rights at the door. First sign - no sunglasses and no hoods allowed. Well okay, thats fine. Next sign, no weapons zone. I
could agree with that. Next sign, no cell phones. I dont think they enforce this rule because the waitress saw my cell phone
and she did NOT take it away (phew!!!). Another sign warns you restrooms require you asking the counter for a key, so you
are on THEIR TIME when it comes to relieving yourself. In addition to all the signs, surveillance cameras are everywhere,
as well as 6 surround sound speakers and flashing lights everywhere (theres even a TV displaying all their specials!) Diana
Bakers Diner is tech savvy, but dont worry. I dont think the NSA is tapping into those cameras. Im not sure if theyre even
real, but with all the exposed wiring everywhere, I think they are.
You seat yourself, and you have three choices of where to seat your bum: eating at the counter, hard wooden booths, or comfy
booths. We chose the hard wooden booth since it was pretty late at night and we did not want to doze off. Even though Diana
Bakers has a lot of updated technology, wood paneling is still here! Always a sign of relief when a greasy spoon keeps wood
paneling walls in the 2000s. The atmosphere here is unforgettable. There are two slot machines on the counter, and this elder-
ly woman was playing slots for the 1.5 hours we ate there. Keno is also offered, as well as scratch offs, so if youre itching for
some extra cash, you can always stop here anytime. Also, if you are caught in a bind, whether its either you have a headache
or you are feelin a bit frisky after eating your chicken and waffles, there is a drug store vending machine with such selections
as 3 brands of condoms, Advil, and Tylenol. Unlike many diners, there is a suggestion box near the beverage cooler, so if you
have any complaints, do not fret, the owner, Nick, will read your suggestions. Playing cards are on top of the suggestion box,
so if youre bored or service is slow you can have some poker fun.
Menu is a little bit more expensive than what I was expecting. American breakfast (2 eggs, 2 strips of bacon or sausage,
hashbrowns, and toast) is $4.49, but if you opt of meat, its $3.99. Coffee is $1.20, so that makes up for the cost, and honestly,
better than average diner coffee. I think between the 3 of us, we drank 2 pots of coffee. Pastries are prepackaged and in one
of those stained dumpy coffee house display cases, so I recommend you to stay away from those, unless you are low on cash
and need the most calories for lowest cost. I also saw pudding and jello cups from afar, if you have a craving for one of those.
Bacons done right - 4 strips instead of 2, so actually the $4.49 is worth it. Shoestring hashbrowns and Franks Hot Sauce
compliments each other well. The highlight of my meal was how the overeasy eggs were done well - all the white covering
the yolk. Service was quick, possibly due to the older waitress barking orders at the young waitress WHAT DID YOU DO
WITH THE TICKET? HOW BOUT YOU GIVE THEM SOME COFFEE??. But that model works for them.
They have delivery 24 hrs a day. You can order biscuits and gravy, so when they arrive theyre a nice lukewarm temperature
for your enjoyment.
Ed note: I have been kicked out of this diner for taking up space and overstaying my welcome. Not a diner to chill at for
more than two hours. BEWARE!!!
B B B B B/5

Nick, the owner, at the bar.

12
 East Side Diners
Fifth Wheel Restaurant/3306 St. Clair Ave., Cleveland, OH
44114 (216)431-0023
I really enjoy the Fifth Wheel. You are not treated like a fifth wheel at this
establishment, rather the waitress is very attentive. Even if you were stuck
going as a tagalong on a double date, you would STILL not feel like a fifth
wheel. The diner countertop is circular in the middle of the restaurant,
which I havent seen anywhere else before, except at the Happy Dog..which
is a bar not a diner. The signs feature some excellent artwork and the plates
include American flag designs, which your mother would feature in her
China cabinet. Food is extremely cheap here and they have some specials
like a chicken philly. Breakfast here is best basic. No complaints but noth-
ing amazing. Just good, savory food. Seeing the familys relatives framed
on the wall makes you feel so at ease, you want to become a regular here. Coffee was refilled like every 5 minutes. It
B B B B /5
Shays/4007 St. Clair Ave., Cleveland,
OH 44103 (216)431-6339
No frills diner in a no frills diner part of town.
Recently a fresh paint of color on the walls and
Cleveland landscape portraits everywhere to
instill a sense of comfort in you. The waitresses
are super chatty, aiming to convert you into
a regular. She had a very dry sense of humor,
which was almost unpredictable. She said she
had red hair at one time and even the other
waitresses were showing looks of are you for
real??
was a clean cup, no lingering flavors. Food
was cheaper here compared to other institu-
tion diners in Cleveland (Big Egg, Big Als).
$5-$6 omelettes and most plates being around
$6-$7. My friend ordered a strip steak and it
was pretty cold. Another friend got bacon, eggs,
and homefries, where the bacon was brittle and
dry, sorta like you are breaking off the corroded
rusty part of an old Impala. People were pleas-
ant enough to warrant a second visit, but Annie
& Earls next door is the place to be!!!
B B B /5

Annie and Earls/4017 St. Clair Ave., Cleveland, OH 44103 (216)361-9160 Hrs: M-Sat 7a-2:30p
My friend and I debated whether to go to Shays or Annie & Earls. The sign (see photo) lured us in, as well as the three
women saying COME ON INNNN WERE AS GOOD AS SHAYS. We walked in and I immediately realized during this
blustery blizzard filled day, we were some of the first customers for the day. I could tell this diner is always fighting for cus-
tomers, since Shays is really just a few steps away.
That being said, honest to God, one of the best diners Ive been to. First off, everything here is made fresh and from scratch.
None of this Bisquick mix or bottled OJ. Eggs here are cage free!! You can eat your omelettes with the peace of mind that
those mommas were roaming free, not cooped up in a lil cage. Our waitress was very quick to give us menus as well as chil-
drens puzzle placemats. Coffee was not immediately served because here at Annie & Earls, a pot of coffee is made FRESH
when people want coffee, not sitting on a burner for hours and hours. The black coffee was better than most, no cream or
sugar needed. The waitress was super chatty, which was refreshing and pretty surprising, since this was in the midst of the
second installment of polar vortex/blizzard conditions. She had the biggest grin on her face and to be honest, she could mur-
der my feline, and I would still be happy having her as a server. She is the sweetest server anyone could ever have.
When it comes to the food, my friend had the t-bone steak (gotta treat yo-self every now and then) and he said they perfect-
ed it. Onions on top with some seasoning, as well as scrambled eggs, homefries, and toast on the side. I ordered the veggie
omelette, homefries, and toast...all for $4.95!! One of the best veggie omelettes I ever had. It was the epitome of feng sui -
onions, peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms, and cheese all balanced perfectly.
What makes this place better than the surrounding diners?
* Super attentive waitress - always filling up our cups of coffee and she offered to give us a newspaper to read. Chef came out
to thank us for coming and to check up on our food.
* Solid soundtrack - some smooth R&B to roll in a Saturday morning after a night of Saturday drinking.
* Decor - dining room reminiscent of your uncles 70s living room - simple, not too overdone on the decor.
* Splendid food for super reasonable prices. Other menu features I was eying up included fried green tomatoes, egg sand-
wiches, and biscuits! B B B B B/5

13
 Bills Coffee Shop/3954 Mayfield
Rd., Cleveland, OH 44121 (216)381-
6443 Hrs: Tu-Sat 7a-2p Sun 8a-1:30p
Atmosphere is key here at Bills. Bills
lures you in with their window display -
the kitchen can be seen from the street! If
anything, food is held accountable since you
can even have strangers keep an eye out for
your eggs and bacon. The interior is very
tudor/log cabin home. Lots of wood, both
fake and real. There is a wooden syrup/menu
caddy that is attached to the wall. Be careful
though, TWO PEOPLE PER BOOTH on
weekends. There is a sign specifically telling
you that. Also this is CASH ONLY, so bring
a few dollars. If you dont have time to bring
your Sunday funnies, they have framed
Ziggy comics on the wall
Menu is pretty cheap. Omelettes are the
best deal here - $3-$5, BUT $1.50 extra
for homefries, but that still balances it out.
You have a choice of shredded or chunky
homefries. I got chunky and they are like
elongated cubes. Good savory flavor. Friend
got overeasy eggs and they were done just Guss Diner/797 E. 185th St., Cleveland, OH 44119 (216)481-
right. Perfect for dipping your toast in. Cof- 8781 Hrs: M-Sun 7a-4p
fee was refilled quickly, but uh...this is not Guss is the EPITOME of Greek diners. Ancient Grecian times in yo face!
really a coffee shop since coffee is neither Painted rocks peeking out of yellow walls, almost realistic plastic grape
their specialty nor a thing you must order vines watching over you as you eat, and vibrant Greek Orthodox Jesus
here. I guess the coffee has a toasted taste, painting welcoming you to the diner in open arms. There are supports that
toasted what? Im not sure. There isnt much resemble pillars and even a balcony overlooking the diner...or mediterranean
of a hint of anything to suggest you are eatery?? The bar/check out area looks more like a wine bar in Tuscany than a
drinking coffee. No, just hot liquid. cashier area. Ambiance is why I would come back here. Definitely a commu-
B B B B /5 nity diner with families, hip Collinwood kids, business professionals, retired
folks, and the after church brunch goers. I was delivered a cup of coffee as
Landmark Restaurant/5380 St. Clair soon as I sat down, but coffee is average. Prices are reasonable for omelettes
Ave., Cleveland, OH 44103 (216)881- - $5-$7, but too pricy for a basic no frills breakfast - 2 eggs, bacon, home-
5372 Hrs:M-Sun 5a-3p fries and toast for $4.49? Eh you can find better.
Really hopeful about this diner, but food is My friend got pita on the side of his Greek omelette. Pretty sure they make
just not that good. You walk in and you can their own pita - thick and small, unlike store bought. Guss does not know
tell this diner really caters to its regulars. how to cook eggs. The omelette was super yellow and just flubby instead
Waitresses are very friendly and are always of fluffy. Maybe the cook read fluffy and thought Ooooh like Flubber! The
filling up your coffee (though lukewarm). I Robin Williams movie!! Beats me. Overeasy eggs did not easily ooze out.
see the kitchen staff chatting with customers, Some of it was cooked too well. Grits are homemade! Recommend that!
so overall the feel is very homey. No stone Workers are super friendly here too! B B B /5
cold wait staff, just all smiles.
The menu has breakfast and lunch. I like that
they have a 50/50 - which is half grits and
half homefries. I ordered pancakes, eggs,
50/50, and sausage. Friend ordered strip steak
medium rare. Pancakes were burnt and every-
thing was extremely greasy. I didnt get sick
though with all that oil, but there wasnt much
flavor to anything. My friends steak was so
bloody he had to take it home to cook it more.
B B /5
14
Big Als Diner/12600 Larchmere Blvd., Cleveland, OH 44120 (216)791-8550 Hrs: M-Sat 7:30a-2:30p
Sun 8a-2:30p
Okay first off, this place is expensive for a diner. Even though the diner has a neat interior - reminiscent of a tudor home - I
just cannot justify paying $7.25 for two eggs, homefries, bacon and toast. At that point, how about you dont even go to a
diner if youre spending that sort of money. Maybe an ethnic joint? Anyways, my friend who accompanied me said you
can tell its a good diner when theres a coat rack. Honestly, that makes no sense because a coat rack does not give a diner
atmosphere, better service or better food, but come to think of it, I wish it did because I would like Big Als then.
Big Als has a better menu than most diners, such as pecan pancakes (but Waffle House has pecan waffles so whatever), Veg-
gie Benny, and a variety of meal plates. The coffee is alright - its smooth for what it is, and theres fake plastic plants, which
is a nice pairing with the tudor home interior. The waitresses have a happy go lucky vibe goin for them - tye dye & camo.
Maybe symbolism for war and peace?! War since they look pissed as hell that they are working there. Peace because tye-
dye and thats really it. You can tell when decorating this diner, they totally forgot to purchase a leveler from Home Depot
because every picture on the wall is crooked. Again, a happy go lucky vibe.
Food - hash browns are oniony and fried in a skillet, and if you like onions, thats great. If you hate onions - BEWARE. I
had the Veggie Benny, which was greasy and bland. :( The hollandaise sauce didnt taste like anything. Just cream? The grits
were clearly from a packet and form fitting, like flattering to a figure. This figure was my bowl, which served as a jello mold
for my grits. I was able to flip my bowl over and the grits came out as a beautiful hemisphere.
I really have nothing else to say about this place. Slow as a snail service. Big Als reminds me of a flock of hungry buzzards
hovering over customers, waiting for them to finish dining so they can swoop down and devour awful low quality food.
To sum it up: this is a diner for people who dont know diners. B B /5

Inn on Coventry/2785 Euclid Hts Blvd., Cleve- Superior Restaurant/3000 Superior

land Heights, OH 44106 (216)551-9060 Hrs:
M-F 7a-2p Sat-Sun 8a-2p
Inn on Coventry, crammed between the Grog Shop
and Mongolian BBQ, is a hidden gem in the worthless
pile of crap known as Coventry. I like Inn on Coventry
because genuine people work and dine here. The atmo-
sphere here on a Saturday morning is reminiscent of a
metropolitan morning diner on a weekday. You sit down,
they get you your coffee almost immediately, food
comes out in 15 minutes even though the place is almost
packed. Even though it seems like you need reservations
here, people dont seem to stay too long. I got the meat-
less sausilito. Inn on Coventry does their hollandaise
sauce right. $7-10 though. :(
I am a fan that they have a little bar which also acts as
the checkout counter. Theres the right amount of kitsch
here, and the little bar just ADDS TO IT. They serve
alcohol in the afternoon, and the idea of getting a gin/
tonic with lemon ricotta pancakes sounds great.
Edit: My friend who works nearby told me hes had iffy
run ins there, like seeing animals in there that shouldnt
be there. If you dont mind that keep the 4 star rating, if
you do...3 stars. B B B 1/2 / 5
Ave., Cleveland, OH 44114 (216)621-
5899 Hrs: M-F 5:30a-3p Sat 5:30a-2p
Everyone talks about the corned beef , which
must be amazing enough to justify the prices
here. When a basic breakfast (2 eggs, bacon,
hash browns and toast) costs $6.79 and break-
fast is not served all day, my internal breakfast
alarm is already going off. The prices here pay
for the convenience. If you are not in a rush,
and sit down and take a good look at the menu,
you realize almost everything here is over-
priced. Salads are $10, latke reuben (which was
tempting to purchase) was $13.50!! You might
as well take your honey to Katz Club if youre
going to play those prices.
The menu has a good variety compared to most
diners. Theres a good selection of burgers, as
well as seafood and meatloaf. I got a veggie ba-
gel, which is one of my favorite sandwiches to
get and the only place I know that serves them
other than a chain is at Algebra Tea House.
Good flavor, but you put the cream cheese on it
yourself. They dont have the time, but I mean
its a bustling place for businessmen. Coffee
retained a copper penny aftertaste, but it was
still drinkable, considering it was warm and
not super burnt. I can tell this diners goal is to
serve as much people as possible (9-5ers with
a 1 hour lunch), but as I said before, if youre
not in a rush, you realize theres way better
places to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at.
B B /5

15
 The Red Chimney/6501 Fleet Ave., Cleveland, OH 44105 (216)441-0053 Hrs: M-Sun 5a-9p
While some diners appeal to customers for the 1950s shiny counter red chair super clean floors nostalgia, the 1970s
equivalent is the Red Chimney. Lots and lots of wood, murals of the motherland (Poland even though its run by
Greeks...?) and local ad placements, who wouldnt enjoy just the atmosphere of this place? In addition to the peace of
mind you achieve when you walk in, there are cops everywhere. So if you are a bit nervous of the neighborhood, dont
worry, police galore. That means this is not the place you bring your super unruly drunkard friends. But at the same
time I saw a cop go behind the waitress counter and take a take out box when no one was looking, so I guess Im not
sure what the rules are here.
Pretty fast service, Id say from sitting down to getting our food, it only took 15 minutes or so. Let me tell you, out
of all the diners and family restaurants I consumed black coffee at, Red Chimney has notably the worst coffee. I was
extremely tired and really set on downing 3-4 cups of coffee, and I couldnt even drink HALF a cup. Another friend
said when he joined his friends at the Red Chimney, he thought they played a prank on him and put something in his
coffee. No. Thats just the coffee. Something is very off about it, so just skip that and get a nice consistent soda.
Bacon was crisp - my friends BLT was what he was expecting. Usually I get dinner here, which is always better than
average, but this time I decided to get the farmers omelette, which has hashbrowns in the omelette. It was alright
- overall pretty bland, and the omelette was extremely flat, lacking any sort of fluffiness. Instead of a nice pillowy
omelette if I was drunk enough I would rest my head on, this omelette was flat like a 30 year old kitchen seat cushion.
They have rye toast here, which is always nice and they have Mama Jo pies I believe. I had a slice two visits ago and
theyre awesome. Highly recommend the cream pies.
In short, stay away from breakfast food, dinner tends to be better here. B B B /5

Main Gate Restaurant/3900 Orange Ave., Cleveland, OH 44115 (216)391-

5275 Hrs: M-F 4a-1p Sun 6:30a-9:30p
The Main Gate has a lot of character. Located in the basement of a food produce freezer
building, you must go through the plastic flapped entrance, go down the stairwell (not
through the freezer hallway), and take a right into this little haven of diner. I felt like a tod-
dler again, as though walking through the 4 ft tall shopping cart entrance of Marcs. Two
people run this basement restaurant - husband does the cooking RIGHT IN FRONT OF
YOU. You dont need Benihana when you got Maingate. Wife takes the orders and serves
food. You can tell the chef takes a lot of pride in his cooking, he kept suggesting me menu
items he was cooking for me to order, such as a quesadilla, steak, etc. I mean he does have
a point, how many diners have quesadillas (as well as the choice of consuming a Monster
energy drink while eating your homefries and eggs)?
Clientele here is mostly blue collared men, whether it be construction workers, truck driv-
ers, policemen, so on. You can tell the duo definitely knows their regulars. Looking at the
menu, for a basic American breakfast (2 eggs, toast, 2 bacon strips or 2 sausage links, and
homefries) it was $3-$5, which is reasonable for most. Its cheaper than IHOP and thats
all that matters. Coffee was robust, I drank 2 cups without cream or sugar, so I mean its
decent coffee but nothin to rave about. Beverage selection, aside from coffee, is above
average. You can choose between several tea types, juice from the flowing juice fountains
(!!), and all sorts of soda from the beverage cooler located underneath the 10 inch tv broad-
casting a nice soapy-soap opera. I ordered a veggie omelette with toast and homefries.
Veggie omelette as well as homefries had some flavor to it. I was especially partial to the
toast because unlike most diners who put half a stick of butter on your toast, they knew the
perfect amount of butter where the butter pat was visible, but it didnt soak the through the
slice of toast. Friend ordered a BLT and in house soup. Potato soup was creamy - looked al-
most like biscuit gravy consistency, but he said it was quite filling. The BLT does not mess
around here. None of this wimpy 2 maybe 3 strips of bacon in the sandwich. The sandwich
managed to fit 5-6 strips of bacon. Sure maybe a bit too artery clogging for some, but this
is what a BLT SHOULD look like if you want it to be a meal.
Climax of the dining experience was watching an Olympic style dive into a pool. The shelf
of bread loaves is right above the 8-9 pots of various sauces. One slice of bread took a dar-
ing fall and silently plunged right into the barbeque sauce. No remaining evidence that the
event even occurred. I gave the dive 8 out of 10.
B B B B /5
16
 Doc and Lennies/8933 Cedar Ave., Cleveland, OH 44106 (216)229-8090
Hrs: M-F 10:30a-8p Sat 9a-1p
This was my holy grail of diners. I made sure to make this the last diner to visit for my
year of diners and woo-whee was it a treat! The hours are not usually consistent, as I
have stopped by for two Saturdays and they were closed. I came on a weekday and they
were open! The woman at the counter was very grandmotherly, giving us hints about
what food is the food to order here. We asked for coffee and she said ......uh yeah we
have coffee making it seem like not many people order coffee here. But dont worry -
the mugs say Im an Original so people know you are quite unique for drinking coffee
at this establishment! Interior here is like jazz club lounge feel in the 80s - marbled ve-
lour bar stools, homemade Pollock painting style tables, serene lighting for every booth,
and some magazines to read at while youre waiting for your food.
The menu features lots of hearty meats and comfort food. Polish boys with beef brisket,
turkey chops perch dinners, and lots of greens. The Moby Dick which was INSANE-
LY HUGE - according to the menu the biggest fish sandwich in Cleveland. 5 pieces
of whiting and perch on a sub bun that you clearly cannot fit into you mouth without
eating some fish first. I ordered the hot sweet corn, since the description allured me with
its hot and sweet and mac and cheese which is clearly homemade. Friend ordered the
foot long beef polish boy with beef brisket. Lots of flavors here and the price is right.
Bathroom was really chill - lots of greens with a trickling water fountain so you can pee
in peace.
Jazz and eggs is every Saturday 9a-1p. Waitress said its all you can eat chicken and
waffles for $8.50 with jazz music playing from a speaker.

And. Male revue first Friday of every month. B B B B B /5

Michaels Diner/13051 Shaker Blvd., Cleveland, OH 44120 (216)752-0052 Hrs: M-Th 6a-10p Fri
6a-Sat Sat 24 hrs Sun till 8p
We were glad to find free parking right in front of the establishment on what we thought would be a busy Friday
evening, and even before we walked in, we were also greeted by a loud HELLOOOO HOW ARE YOU LADIES DO-
ING TONIGHT from a local, which made us feel important and special in every aspect. Although we were allowed
to select any empty seat in the diner for ourselves, we were surprised at the Friday late-night no waitress policy (we
had to place our orders at the front), in which we were informed about by a man who spoke in a voice similar to that of
the loudspeaker on Charlie Brown if given copious amounts of downers.
Although this place loved being DIY, we were surprised that their prices were so high. There are other diners that
retain the same atmosphere but yet charge half the price for a basic two eggs, home fries, toast and bacon dish with
a side of coffee. This totaled to about $8.00, whereas other diners (e.g. coffee pot) would charge $3.75 for such a
combo. The coffee also tasted like it was made from some sort of chemical based sludge, steeped in burnt dog hair for
days. Gas USA Coffee is WAY better.
After consuming such a mess, we decided to press our luck at the lottery machine, which unfortunately, also hurt our
wallet a little bit more than we bargained for as the machine was sold out of every single kind of $1.00 scratch off. We
had to fork over the extra $1.00 for the $2.00 fast cash game, which we actually won, but could not redeem because
their redemption machine was all out of order.
As the coffee sludge and overpriced egg platter fueled my veins, the excessive neon lighting triggered a mental mon-
tage of Brookpark strip clubs captured in a perverse 80s music video. The only highlight of this 80s music video
were the excessively glittery plastic cushions that provided a backdrop for my mental montage, as the sounds of the
muffled television playing a Nightline TV special on failed Miami real estate played in the background.
B /5
17
 South Side Diners
Suzies Family Restaurant/6212 Memphis Ave., Cleveland, OH 44144 Hrs: M-Sat 6a-11p Sun 6a-2p
An upcycled Taco Bell turned diner with a vaguely familiar interior including adobo brick makes this restaurant charm-
ing. There is a lack of parking spaces on weekends because Taco Bell wouldnt expect a brunch rush. The TB order
counter is now a diner counter. Food here is simple. You cant go wrong with prices and there is a dessert case as well.
When I went here, there were balloons everywhere that were getting in the customers faces. I enjoyed how the waitress
dealt with them by popping all of them in front of customers. Nothing too memorable about the place other than that its
an old TB. I heard they have chicken paprikash specials as well. Maybe a good place to try out for dinner. Rumor has it
they USED to do DINER KARAOKE!!
B B B /5
The Harley Diner/23105 Aurora Rd., Bedford, OH 44146 (440)439-5300 Hrs: M-Sat
9a-3p
I am reviewing the Harley DINER inside the Harley Davidson. The diner is originally from the
40s, and attached to an old home. They kept the original interior and attached it to a Disney World
main-street esque home facade with neon. Harley Davidson actually had to expand the store to make
room for the diner inside! The diner car has original wooden booths, booth jukeboxes that still work
(not consistently though, but its difficult to find someone to fix em), and booths made out of retro
car hoods!! This is definitely a destination diner - one to visit just for the experience alone.We were
seated in a Chevy Bellaire car hood booth and from the booth, we can see people riding their motor-
cycles in the dealership, as well as hear the echoing revving.
The waitress was very friendly and super understanding how much in awe I was of the diner that
it took me 10 minutes to decide on what I wanted to order. She made us a fresh pot of coffee. The
menu selection is limited and pricier than average - $6-$8....but you are PAYING for all those renova-
tions. All the menu items are named after hogs. I got a skillet and my friends got the Big Bore,
which were 2 eggs, pancakes, and homefries. You are able to choose from homefries and hashbrowns.
The skillet was good, but what made it amazing was their choice in hot sauce. Harley Davidson
picked the KING of hot sauce....TABASCO CHIPOTLE!! That made my skillet worth an eating con-
test with myself. Pancakes were spongy...which is sorta odd, but their seasoned potatoes were on par.
After our meal, we walked around the rest of the diner, where another waitress gave us a 3 minute
mini tour of the place, telling us the history of the diner. There is a wall of mugs on the exterior of
the house.. These are ALL the regulars who come here and fill-er-up in their own personalized mug.
Dont forget to walk around the rest of the Harley Davidson dealership. The diner is connected to a
main street strip filled with novelty HD antiques, such as a snowmobile or an eagle with an American
Flag bandana. Take a picture with the eagle to show your true COUNTRY PRIDE.
B B B B 1/2 / 5

18
Little Polish Diner/5772 Ridge Rd., Parma, OH 44129 (440)842-8212
Hrs: T-Th 11a-7p Fri 11a-8p Sat 11a-6p
Little Polish Diner - to be a diner or not a diner? There is no breakfast food, but instead
Polish staples. They got yr stuffed cabbage, cucumber salad, cottage cheese pierogies.
Pierogies are excellent but some of the food aint too fresh - cole slaw is just disgust-
ing and vegetables are like frozen or canned. Prices are more than a church fish fry, but
you get giant portions. The atmosphere has a nice touch with Eastern European plates
and....weiner dog statues? Sit at the diner so you get a glimpse of all the weiner dogs
who are starin back at ya. B B B B /5
Yours Truly Restaurant/8111 Rockside Rd., Valley View, OH 44125 (216)524-
8111 Hrs: M-Sat 6:30a - 11p Sun 7:30a-10p
Yours truly has this faux futuristic-retro diner feel. Sleek metal wall decor and awnings with
nature murals? Its all diner looks, but they serve alcohol and have several tvs. I enjoy the
breakfast here due to their wide variety of omelettes that are vegetarian friendly including the
Barcelona which has jalapenos. Homefries are forgettable, but coffee is better than average
diner coffee. No acidic sludge that you would confuse for drain opener liquid here! Talking to
several other diners at our table, they do not do well in big parties - orders were confused and
some food was cold and some was hot.
Breakfast is the go-to here. Ive been here several times in the past 5 years and I remember
always having a lackluster dinner experience. But breakfast is pretty good. Maybe go for a
simple entree like eggs and homefries rather than a complex entree, which can be inconsistent.
B B B /5

Charlies Restaurant/2102 Brookpark Rd., Cleveland, OH 44134

(216)661-4873 Hrs: ???
Charlies Restaurant - one of the best institution diners here in Cleveland. Minimal-
ist, quick, cheap. The diner is filled with regulars every weekday, usually ordering just
a coffee or a 2 egg breakfast. DO NOT LEAVE LOTTO TICKET SHAVINGS ON
COUNTER!!! Dont worry they will remind you 6 times or so with signs all around.
The waitress was super cheery and refilled my coffee whenever it was half way full.
Theres quite a variety of omelettes on the menu and you can easily customize them. I
wanted the spinach omelette with swiss instead of American and it was an easy switch
out. Omelette with the hollandaise was pretty good and my mom enjoyed her veggie
omelette. Definitely a place to stop by if youre passing by.
B B B 1/2 / 5

Pappous Cafe/8320 Snow Rd., Parma, OH 44129 (440)888-9644 Hrs: T-F

7a-9p Sat-Sun 6a-9p
Pappou Cafe was a delightful surprise to me. Even though I came here around 12pm on a
Sunday, I was quickly seated. The decor is honestly better than most family owned cafes or
diners. Art nouveau chandeliers and a tied in theme, rather than scatterbrained decor. The
menu was very extensive, with prices all around $5-$9. Eggs benedict was only $6.50 and
they had an outrageous selection of skillets, omelettes, egg wraps, and scrambles. Big selec-
tion of Greek food on the lunch/dinner menu including stuffed shells and Greek pork chops.
If you are a vegetarian, this place is certainly not lacking for you. Waitresses are super atten-
tive for filling up your coffee cup, but plain black liquid nonetheless, but at least it was hot!
I decided to get the broccoli skillet, which featured zucchini, red peppers, onions, mush-
rooms, potatoes, and of course broccoli. Lots of feta, mozz, and cheddar. This was REAL
CHEESE no American kraft slices. I was worried it wouldnt be filling enough since I only
got toast on the side, but I was completely stuffed. Excellent flavors in there, rather than the
plain ol frozen veggie omelet. Also, my friend ordered the pumpkin pancakes, which came
with a whipped maple cream cheese. She said it worked really with the pancakes. I guess
specials change throughout the year as well. In the weird in limbo state of Parma/Parma
Heights, this place is a hidden gem! B B B B B /5
19
 Steves Diner/6850 Biddulph Plz, Cleveland,
OH 44144 (216)351-0200 Hrs: 24 hrs
Doesnt have the same dirty dive atmosphere as the
Steves on Lorain, which overall sorta takes away from
the dining experience. Jukebox is hidden in the back and
overall it feels more like a family restaurant than a diner.
There is a busboy here unlike most diners which have
the waitresses clear the table. Even though there was
a busboy, our table had some sort of sticky transparent
residue on it, which caused my sleeves to stick to the
table.
Food is pretty much the same as Steves Lunch - same
prices and all. I ordered a veggie omelette for dirt cheap
and it was good, nothing that stood out but what would
ya expect. My pop ordered the chicken soup and he said
the chicken was pretty tender, but be mindful - a bone
was found, but you should expect that with homemade
food. I enjoyed the internet highway sign. Very welcom-
ing for you people to chug out some grant writing at a
diner. Definitely a place to go to at night when youre
stuck in Old Brooklyn, but if you have the chance to
pick between Steves Diner and Steves Lunch, Steves
Lunch easily trumps.
B B B /5
Southside Diner/10705 Pleasant Valley Rd.,
Parma, OH (440)842-6888 Hrs: M-Sun 7a-3p
Southside Diner retains that classic 50s diner decor
you like to visit occasionally, but theyre starting to be
hard to find, but atmosphere while going easy on the
checkbook. That being said, sweet 50s diner feel with 50
license plates from each state on the wall! Immediately
took me back to road trip memories of watching my sis-
ter aim to complete her 50 state license plate checklist.
Theres more road trip/car feel than the usual diner - car
magazines and road memorabilia. Tables are red and
white and chairs are red, but not ripped! T.V. is on all the
time, but hey whatever gets you through the day.
Food - theres no American breakfast special (two eggs,
homefries, 2 strips of bacon or sausage, and toast),
which is a real bummer, because thats my usual go to,
but they do have a 3-3 which is 3 eggs, 3 bacon/sausage,
homefries, and toast for $5. A lil bit pricy here overall
with the menu, but theres interesting special menu
items, so the price increase is expected. Some intriguing
items included a southside stacker and tons of meals
featuring potato pancakes, corned beef, and chorizo!.
My pop ordered a basic omelette and I got an eggs flo-
rentine without meat. Serving sizes were perfect, I dont
like taking home any egg dishes and reheating the in the
microwave. My dads omelette was fluffy and the home-
fries were homecut, maybe skillet fried? Coffee was
good, but I heard it varies time to time. Overall a good
diner, especially for the southside when youre stuck in a
void nearby aka PARMA HTS.
20 B B B B /5
The Whip/6406 Pearl Rd., Parma Hts., 44130
(440)885-9849 Hrs:M-Sat 7a-10p Sun 7a-9p
I like that this diner has almost a sense of provenance,
history dating back to the 1940s. You walk in and theres
a display case of the original menu and a collage of peo-
ple I think I would be friends with back in the day, or at
least Id like to think. Once you take a step in the dining
room, you are surrounded by REDS AND BROWNS,
wood paneling everywhere including the ceiling, as well
as red tablecloths (which were stiff and shaped like a
coat for the table) and red booths. Just imagine a hybrid
between a tudor living room and a truck stop roadhouse
in Mid-Ohio. Im saying truck stop because this is the
only diner Ive seen in a while that has a pay phone.
The Whip does not discriminate between the technology
savvy and weak. Also, unlike many family restaurants
in Greater Cleveland, there are REAL plants here. Real
aloe and ivy, no dusty plastic trees here! Really wonder-
ing if they use that aloe for the sunburned Parma Hts.
regular customers in the summer.
All American breakfast is $5.75, which is pretty steep
just for 2 eggs, toast, hashbrowns, and bacon. Pretty
lame, especially since this aint no fancy cookin, just
home cookin. While the coffee was brewed fresh on
demand, it tasted as though it was on the burner all day -
a real peculiar aftertaste.
Chicken paprikash is on the bone here. My friend said it
was too bland for his liking, as well as theres so much
work with the bone being in there. My overeasy eggs
had super liquidy yolks, which was a bit disconcerting.
Breaded mushrooms are also unsurprisingly bland as
well. While this may be ok at other diners, this place is
overpriced as well, so theres really no incentive to eat
here if you are finding yourself with a stomach ache as
well as an empty wallet afterwards.
Edit: I just remembered there was a high school reunion
going on while I was here, where the reunion coordi-
nator told my friend and I a couple that was present
had their first date in the booth we were sitting at. The
couple is still married 40 years later, so I guess The
Whip somehow cemented their everlasting marriage.
B B /5
Far West Side Diners
Sal and Als Diner/2261 Cooper Foster Park Rd.,
Amherst, OH 44001 (440)989-3663 Hrs: M-Th
11a-8:30p Sat 11a-9p
When I found out this diner is a Polish/Syrian hybrid, I knew I
had to come!! When you walk in they do this 50s rockin diner
atmosphere, complete with gigantic 45s hanging from the
ceiling!! My record collector friend and I thought instead of
having the bands picture in the middle of the 45, they should
have the 45 adapter in there instead, but ah well, its not as
stylish. Music they were playing was commercial radio. I felt
a jukebox would make this place GREAT instead of good,
especially if its not digital and had real records in there.
The menu has a ton of variety! Prices were $6-$8, but they
had some standout dishes we found ourselves asking the
waitress for more info about such as pizza logs, chicken
chili pierogies, fold-overs, ho-ho cake. I got a side of poppers, funnel cake sticks, and cabbage rolls? Show me
pierogies and cajun fries. They actually make their pierogies
in house, so even though you get 2 pierogies as a side, they
are SO FILLING. The pierogies are thick and dense, but the
dough itself is thin. The fries were really good and I remem-
ber eating a lot of them without taking a stop for fresh air.
Im not sure why I ate so many starches that day. I had a good
day, so maybe the menu was just that alluring. My friend was
delightfully surprised by his chicken chili pierogies. Were
both Polish and we were pleased with what would have been
sacrilege if the pierogies were done wrong, especially by mix-
ing them with chili, but good food combo!!
Ho-ho cake for dessert. The slice is massive. Im pretty sure
the slices length was 8 inches or so. Pretty moist, but there
could have been more chocolately fudge, but otherwise it
tasted like my aunts ho-ho cake!
B B B B /5
Midway Oh-Boy/6620 Lake Ave., Elyria, OH
44035 (440)324-3711 Hrs: M-Sun 11a-8p
O boy, lemme tell you, this is probably the highlight of
Elyria. I mean, this is the only reason you should ever come
to Elyria. After attempting to enjoy myself at the Midway
Mall, where I meandered for hours, left with a feeling of
uneasiness, I found my home at Midway Oh-Boy. Midway
Oh-Boys giant burger boy sign on top of the roof lures
you inside, where you are greeted by splendid servers and
the sounds of the main jukebox. I like that this diner is an
actual diner. Not like the new Cleveland trendy diners that
call themselves diners, but food is like $10 and up. This is
the EPITOME of what diners are.
The menu has a wide variety of choices, more so than the
usual greasy spoon. Macaroni and cheese bites, jalapeno
another diner with all those options. As a vegetarian, I usu-
ally stick with breakfast food at these sorta places - eggs
and pancakes - but I was delightfully surprised to find a
veggie boy!!! The veggie boy was good for a diner, and
the Oh Boy sauce (tartar and mayo??) really made it all the
better. Fries were crispy but had a nice bend to them. I like
folding my fries in half like a pair of pants, and I could do
that with these fries, making it the perfect fry to dip into a
puddle of ketchup.
I finished my meal off with a Mama Jo slice o pie. Pecan,
you cant go wrong. The server READ MY MIND and
asked if I wanted my slice hot and with coffee. The pecan
goo mixes so well with a nice cup of black coffee. Their
coffee was strong, but not like truck stop $1 cawfee strong.
Also, check out the bathroom signs. Made me chuckle and
proudly proclaim myself as an Oh Girl B B B B / 5

Blue Sky Restaurant/917 N Leavitt Rd., Amherst OH 44001 (440)984-2583 Hrs: 24 hrs
Blue Sky Restaurant is a lil piece of heaven on earth. Really - the menus have a prayer printed in gold lettering on the choral
folder menus: Before we eat, we bow our heads and thank you, God Almighty, for our daily bread. The walls are painted
with bright blue skies and fluffy clouds indicating you may actually be in that utopian place called heaven, but you look out-
side from your seat and you realize you are still in Amherst. People are waiting to be seated like waiting in line to enter the
Pearly Gates. Your teenage hostess is St. Peter, assisting in finding room for your party at Blue Sky.
Once you do get a table...menus are vast and expansive. Lunch/dinner menus at this 24 hr establishment are 5-6 pages.
Breakfast menus do not offer as wide of a selection, but still impressive for a restaurant. Skillets and omelettes are only
$5-$6, which beats most diner prices. In addition, pancake/french toast offerings include almond and walnut. Highly recom-
mend the almond pancakes - they were so scrumptious, I brought home leftovers and found my cat ripped open the box and
ate a whole pancake!
Coffee is always ready to be filled up. You have several coffee guardian angels asking if you want more coffee when there is
not a single drop that can even fit in your coffee mug as it is. Its almost as though the mug could magically fill up when you
drink a bit of it. Food also comes out quick even when it is packed on a Sunday morning (of course), but they do not lack in
quality. Skillets use good ingredients and it shows. I found myself ordering too much food because I wanted to try every-
thing, but definitely will be my go to place when I am in Elyria/Amherst/Oberlin area.
Only reason I didnt give 5 stars, I feel it demands a second visit during the late night hours, since food service can change at
other 24 hr. establishments at nite. Also my cat stole my leftover pancake. B B B B 1/2 / 5 21
 Far East Side Diners
Waffle House/36333 Vine St., Willoughby, OH 44094 (440)269-1716 Hrs: 24 hrs (only chain diner because Waffle Houses
are rare in Cleveland). Let me preface this that I drove out from Cleveland to go here due to my diner dedication. I went here
around 6pm on a Tuesday afternoon. It was completely dead. I was able to pick whatever booth I wanted and of course I
selected a booth near close view of the stovetop. House rules are on the wall, and in my opinion, the sign should be larger for
all those Mentor/Willoughby teeners who can get a bit rowdy. Theres only one sign, and you could only read it if you walk up
within 4 inches of it.
While waiting for my friend (I try not to dine alone at diners), I ordered coffee. Let me just be straight to be the point. The
coffee here sucks. It was not lukewarm, but ROOM TEMPERATURE. I forcefully loosen my tongue and let it slide down my
throat, just so I can finish the cup, since the coffee pot was almost empty. The waitress didnt get the hint and filled me up with
more room temp coffee from another pot. Just avoid the coffee here during the late afternoon, maybe they make more at night?
NO ice in soda or water. Waitress must be pretty out of it ignoring such warning signs. Lookin at the menu, I am OVER-
WHELMED with the amount of toppings I could get on my hash browns. My friend got his smothered with cheese, while I
just had em plain for reviewing sake. Since this was my first Waffle House experience in a decade, I put on some Waffle House
tunes. The Waffle House jukebox deserves its own paragraph so see below.
Ok the Waffle House jukebox recently switched. I heard within the past year, all the Waffle House jukeboxes with 45s were
auctioned off and they replaced em with these fancy digital ones. Because of this, the new digital ones do not accept quarters,
so bring yr Georgies to feed the machine!! The WH regular who was with me curated the song selection. Keep in mind there
is no music playing in the background at WH until someone feeds cash into the jukebox, so suddenly Saucemaster starts
blaring out of the speakers. The booth over from us, holding a tween couple, started dancing to the selection and the waitress
smirked. Cooking Up My Order features a nice Gospel vibe that makes me want to praise the God of Dirty Spoons. I want
this on 45, and I discovered since the jukebox auctions, I could buy it, but they are a pretty penny.
When my order finally arrived, I noticed the hash browns were a perfect circle (shoutout to the A Perfect Circle fans out there).
Impressive. The waffle reminded me of a huge Eggo Waffle, so I guess I should have gotten the pecan waffle instead. Eggs
were done right. Probably better than the waffle. I also ordered a jalapeo biscuit, which is a rarity in most diners. Pretty dry,
but it was hot I must say. The food was served on grandma plates, which gave me some nostalgia. There was also dollar store
Easter decorations plastered onto the walls, which made this WH kitschier than usual.
Prices are reasonable. $3.55 for 2 eggs, hash browns, and toast. If you are driving on the road, WH is in my opinion a better
choice than Dennys or IHOP since its the same quality food for less. B B B /5

Outta Town Diners

Lyn-Way Restaurant/1320 Cleveland Ave., Ash-
land, OH (419)281-8911 Hrs: Hours are weird.
Call first.
Lyn-Way hach standout pies, it would be 5 stars on pies
alone. Most of the food is bland, like the main menu items.
No luck for vegetarians here (no breakfast or any of that
in afternoon or evenings), but the PIES. Pies are the latest
craze in artisan-gourmet universe, but this place knows its
standbys! Sour cream-raisin sounds odd yes, but the wait-
ress let us try us a little sliver beforehand, and we were sold!
A surprising combination yes, but it delivers! Other friends
got lemon meringue and strawberry rhubarb.
Oh yeah, I thought it was sorta funny that on the menu it
said Folgers coffee. The one time I ever saw a diner brag
about their meh coffee. But hey, some people really do like
Folgers! B B B /5
Ritters Diner/5221 Baum Blvd., Pittsburgh, PA
15244
This diner is connected to a trailer and everything is 80s
paranoia in here. Do not listen to the sirens voice though.
Looks arent everything. Mini cd jukeboxes in each booth.
Eats up all your quarters. Menu has omelettes with cu-
cumnber sauce but everything comes out cold so you find
yourself more bummed out than you were walking in. Even
though this is an insttution to Pittsburgh, youre better off
get snackies on the turnpike. Also only diner I have been
to where your BOOTH SHAKES FROM THE KITCHEN
MACHINERY!!!!! B B /5

22
Dougs 57 Diner/2031 S Rockhill
Ave., Alliance, OH 44601 (330)821-
2887 Hrs: Call first!
Even though it has the atmosphere of a
classic 50s diner with automobile parts and
framed photos of whips galore, complete
with a non-Touch-Tunes jukebox, some oth-
er parts were lacking to make it a true blast
to the past. My friend and I walked in and
the patrons and waitstaff all stared us down.
Im not sure? We were older than the usual
college kid, but still in our late 20s. It was
eerily quiet because if no one select a song
on the jukebox, you dont hear any music.
5 songs for 50 cents so you have no excuse.
Waitress really didnt smile at all. Menu had
a huge selection though complete with sand-
wich splashes (open face sandwiches cov-
ered in marinara and cheese), apple fritters,
swampwater soda (orange crush and root
beer), and a variety of shakes. I got a veggie
splash and apple fritters, friend got a Mount
Union chicken style sandwich. Over here,
the food is very hit and miss; splash sand-
wich tasted like pizza, apple fritters were
absolutely delicious, fries were elementary
school cafeteria style, chicken sandwich was
very moist.
After all the food though, I felt like I lacked
a true diner experience. I felt disappointed,
knowing there may be hidden gems scat-
tered throughout Alliance, Ohio, where the
food gives you a sense of fulfillment, not a
sense of absence. B B /5
Mikes Place/1700 S. Water St., Kent, OH 44240 (330)673-6501
Hrs: M-Th 6a-11p F-Sat 6a-12a Sun 7a-10p
While Kent State students may treat this restaurant on the same level as TGI
Fridays or a Quaker State n Lubes cousin, this is Kents version of Planet
Hollywood. I imagine when students are stuck on campus during Christ-
mas break while their classmates are enjoying Orlando, they camp out here.
There is authentic memorabilia from Mikes past as well as oddities such as
the multiple R2D2 or Elvis mannequins. X-Wing plane, 2 buses, and an Elvis
booth encompassed with Elvis everything.
Menu is giant. The size of a table. I dont think two people can have their
menus out at the same time since they are so big. This is a junk food diner -
combinations you would never think of going together until now - curly fries
in a taco, a breakfast pizza pie, a sandwich with gyro meat, corned beef,
and bleu cheese dressing. These meals seem to be for prospective fraternity
brothers during Rush week to try out. Prices are $7-$10, but as i said, some
of these concoctions you will never lay your eyes on again. Beer is not sur-
prisingly cheap - $1.19 for domestics. This place is filled with non-sequitur
humor. Menu items with bizarre names, signs with all sorts of jokes. Mikes
Place is clearly not afraid to make fun of himself.
I had a veggie reuben and I enjoyed it. My friend has the nunsiatta. Super
filling sandwiches. Waitstaff is inconsistent, at the beginning they were super
attentive and then were nowhere to be seen for half an hour or so, but if you
are in no rush, this is a DESTINATION spot.
B B B B /5
Lawrence Park Dinor/4019 Main St., Erie, PA 16511 (814)899-
4390 Hrs: T-Th 7a-3p F-Sat 6a-3p Sun 8a-2p
To dine or not to dine, that is the dinor. Friends and I were in town for the
day, and decided to hit up this diner. They already get cool points because
its an authentic dining car - cramped closet bathrooms and all - unlike some
diners today which only have the dining car interior. Dare you not to trip
over the toilet. The waitress was super attentive. I ordered the pesto tomato
sandwich, while my friends got burgers. Selections on the menu were pretty
impressive. A broader menu than most. My sandwich was pretty good, and
my friends thought the burgers were above average. Coffee was meh. Some
pies are homemade!
I had no idea that greek sauce in Erie, PA is pretty much a chili. We all
thought otherwise. I never associate Greeks with liquidy meat, but I guess I
will now. B B B B /5

Dominicks 24 Hour Eatery/123 E. 12th St., Erie, PA (814)456-6891

Coming from the land of diners (Cleveland), I was really impressed by this diner. Reminiscent of a gyro eatery combined
with an old school ma & pop interior, this diner welcomes you in open arms. Literally there is a Marilyn Monroe 6 ft tall
fish statue with arms wide open in the back room, as well as a Italian mob style frog statue, complete with a mustache.
Handpainted on the walls are beautiful scenes of Erie, PA, featuring landmarks such as a factory (as every rustbelt should), a
cinema, and Lake Erie. Theres an adopt a pet board hanging on the wall. If I lived in Erie, I would definitely adopt a pet from
a diner. Pancakes and a puppy sounds good to me. Clientele is intriguing. Two regulars went behind me and gave me bunny
ears without my acknowledgment, a table full of college kids freely chatted about performing various intimate acts, and one
guy in short shorts, a carnival prize pink furry hat and tank top played the counter video game for an hour or so. Im not sure
whether the regulars are always like this, but I like it nonetheless.
Breakfast is served anytime here, which is expected for a 24 hour diner. A basic two egg, hashbrowns, and bacon breakfast
is $4.69 which isnt too bad. Some menu item standouts that piqued my interest include zucchini planks, pizza logs, and
hamburger steak. Coffee here sucks. You only get one refill, but you can tell if you are desperate for caffeine, youll drink it
dont worry. I got the basic breakfast. You can have your hashbrowns with onions, and I think it really adds to the HB. Onions
are carmelized. I wish I just ordered a plate of them and nothing else. I forgot what my friends ate but they liked it. Overall
this is a gem to Erie. All tourists should go here. B B B B /5 23
E On the Front Lines....an Interview
With a Former Diner Cook E
Julie: Why did you work as a diner cook for 12 years?
Diner cook: Because it was flexible. I knew I couldnt get fired no matter what I did. I was too good. I was really reliable....and I was afraid of being
unemployed. It was a bad decison.
J:During those 12 years, did you apply for a different job? Did you enjoy it?
DC: NO. I hated it. I hated it and I did get a second job cooking at a mexican restaurant but that only lasted a few months. I hated getting up at 5a to go
to work 30 minutes to a suburb to cook for the church crowd. I hated being in a hot room all the time. I hated being on my feet all day. Pretty mundane
cooking the same things for 12 years straight. I didnt see many of the customers, but I despised all of them.
(diner waitress delivers our food and asks for warm up on our coffee. Former diner cook says Im good there)
J:So...how would your daily routine go?
DC:I wake up at 5:30, my alarm goes off, playing the most annoying music possible so I would actually get up. And Im out of the door in 5 minutes.
J:When would you shower...?
DC:After work. You dont shower before work when youre a cook. You would immediately become dirty. Clothes on, out the door, drive to work, go
into the restaurant, pull out my cart of cook stuff food. Prepping the whole days worth of homefries so theyre already ready. You brown them and cook
them on the grill when you need to. Most days you have to cook 35-40 lbs of bacon in the morning. You sure youre all stocked and everything in place
and...start cookin.
J:Where you the one manning the grill?
DC:Yeah. I would, I would be by myself on weekdays. On busy days like on weekends, I would have someone on the flat top making toast, pancakes,
hashbrowns, homefries, bacon, and sausage and doing anything in the deep fryer. And I would be doing, I would be like expediting, and calling out
orders, and cooking the eggs. Cooking them in separate pans. Making omelettes and over easies and stuff and calling out when I needed plates and the
line cook would get it all ready and I would put them on the plates and ring the bell.
J:When you werent manning the grill, how many orders would you have on the flat top?
DC:Unlimited. The grill wasnt big enough...my flat iron game was at the top. Was like The best in town, you couldnt have gotten better than me at the
flat top.
J:How was your movement through the flat top?
DC: What? Oh I was moving quick. Like there was a flow. When you are doing something that long, you can keep a lot of things going in your head
without having to think about it all at once.
J: What was your favorite order to make? An illustration of the
DC: Uhm....what was my favorite thing to make? I hated making everything... diner cook (age 23).
(J: These homefries are weird. DC: yeah these are mashy...)
J: What was the easiest thing to make?
DC:Pancakes. Pancakes are easy to make.
J: What was the most dreaded thing to make?
DC: I think universally everybody hates making eggs benedict. Its a huge pain in the ass.
The most annoying thing would be people would want egg white omelettes....without oil.
Its not possible. Its just not possible. People would ask for it.
J: What are they thinking? Like would you boil an omelette?
DC: You wouldnt. Its not possible!!!
J: Would there be health food conscious diners at a...DINER?!
DC: People would bring in their own bread for toast. They would bring it in a lil plastic baggy. And the waitress would bring it back and say would
you make this for their toast? And I had one guy for half a year and like wanted....almost raw bacon. Like basically heating up bacon on a grill and he
would eat pretty much basically four pieces of raw bacon. It was raw. But warm.
J: Any other weird customer orders?
DC: I always hated when this one waitress...when a customer would want eggs that are really over-easy and she would say they want em SNOTTY!
She would say they want em snotty! They would want the whole egg to be snotty. And I was like I dont make SNOT. Thats disgusting. Why
would you describe your own food as snotty? That drove me CRAZY. If you undercook an egg...its very mucusy. Any other word like over-easy...
runny. Runny is the word youre looking for, not boogers. Thats how she would describe what the customers would want.
DC:(It is discovered half way through the interview that the interview is anonymous.)
Maybe you can construct a question where the answer would be about...when my line cook tried to attack me behind the line after I made a joke about
shaving off his eyebrows.
J: Have you ever had a member of your place of your employment get into an altercation with you?
DC:YES. My cook kept stepping into my station. Flipping my eggs n stuff.
J: That really....flipped your egg?
DC: No one would ever say that joke. And I kept telling him to stop getting into my station. He was pretty insane. He was really tall and like from...he
was Arabic. He was really intense. He came to a diner party and found my dads decorative samurai swords and he pulled one out and he was standing
there, 63, like Iranian dude, smiling like a maniac, and I was like...in my living room...and I was like, you have to put that away Im having a party.
And....the third time he stepped into my station, I was like you have to stay away from my station. If you come into my station again I will come to
your house and shave your eyebrows off at the middle of the night. It was a joke. And he immmediately shoved me. You cant fight in a line. Theres
knives, everythings hot, theres deep fryers. You cant....you cant be so stupid to fight in a line like that. Most jobs you would go home...but in the
kitchen the show must go on, so lets just calm down and finish the shift. I also cooked during the blackout err the brownout. The second day of the
brownout, I played hooky. I pretended like I went to sleep before the brownout and my alarm didnt go off because we were having a porch party. I had
worked there at 10 years at that point, so I was owed one no call no show. I never called in sick. I probably called in sick 8 days out of those 12 years.

24
(cont.) Its just horrible to do. So anyways, you think they would close without power. No my restaurant stayed open and I had to cook without a
hood with camping lights. Im probably going to die a year quicker because of inhaling all those fumes from cooking without a hood. And it gets
really really hot in the dark with no hood going. All the smoke. Everyone kept coming in because they didnt have electricity so they would get food
here. It sucked. We made toast on the grill. It was not worth it. I started there at $6 an hour.
J: What did you end with?
DC: $12. It sucked. I was basically broke throughout all my 20s. Really broke. It sucked. A lot of times I didnt sleep because I had band practice
at night. Late at night. And I just dont like sleeping. So I would just stay up till 5:30. I would do a couple of days without sleeping like two days. I
would take yellowjackets - truckers speed. I got into truckers speed a lil bit. Yknow like those lil supplements they would sell at gas stations. I
dont think theyre legal anymore. It was not just caffeine. I dont know what it was.
J: What was your reaction?
DC: At first just like any drug, it was great. I was like full of energy, my brain was working. I was on top of my game. But then...you start getting
reliant on it. And your body starts....but yknow I got to the point where I was laying in bed and I could hear my heart beating like I could feel it
pumping really hard. I was like...ok I need to stop with the yellowjackets.
J:Whats the best way to make homefries?
DC:Boil your potatoes first. I like homefries because you can get more of a crispy texture on the outside soft on the inside. Put onions and peppers in
it, cajun seasoning, paprika, garlic salt.
J:Why did you quit? What was the breaking point?
DC: Because I got a better job. I started working at the bar. The owner cried on my last day. He was like a hardass Lebanese Detroit guy. He was
short and kinda chubby and he looked like like Mario and his brother the other owner and tall and skinny and he looked like Luigi. They were like the
Lebanese Super Mario Bros.
J: How is your food today (at Guss in Old Brooklyn) in comparison to the food you made at the diner?
DC: Sucked. This is not thoughtfully prepared. The homefries are mushy. The egg is cooked right. It was ok. There was not enough gravy. Country
fried steak is old...like the deep fryer oil is old and should be cleaned. Way too much margarine on the english muffin. Proper english muffin is to
butter it, toast it, then to grill it.
J: What would you say to aspiring diner cooks?
DC: Quit. Get any other job. Do not aspire to be a diner cook.
J: What did you wear as a diner cook?
DC: As a 17 year old, I wore jnco jeans, a few thrift store t-shirts. I kept my shoulder length hair up with a bandana. I had a mustache that almost con-
nected with my sideburns.

25
 Lil Bites (75 words or less)
My Friends/11616 Detroit Ave., Cleveland, OH Diner on Clifton/11637 Clifton Blvd., Cleve-
44102 (216)221-2575 Hrs: 24 hrs land, OH 44102 (216)521-5003 Hrs: M-Sun
Inconsistent everything - wifi, clean/dirty mugs, 7a-11p
vinegar soaked pasta, savory omelettes, super pricey Take your date to this diner. If you come in the
desserts, fancy sugar coffee drinks. Try your luck and evening theres pasta, artichoke dip, redskin potato
get all 777s or waste your money. salad, and higher quality ingredients than the usual
B B 1/2 / 5 greasy spoon. $8-$10. Breakfast all day and fresh
squeezed OJ. B B B 1/2 / 5
L.A. Petes/6080 Brecksville Rd., Independence,
OH 44131 (216)642-4341 Hrs: M-Sun 7a-2p
Stuck in Independence, near the strip of chain eater-
ies. Get outta that black hole and go to a diner! Food
is always alright, but better compared to Bob Evans
and Dennys. Special stuff like garden omelettes and
buckwheat pancakes to impress your mother in-law
and show you eat healthy. You are reminded of your
mortality with the view of the cemetery across the
street. You may or may not see a funeral take place be
warned. B B B /5

PEOPLES CHOICE: The Shore Restaurant (Lakewood)

What people have to say:

They always have mixed fruit jelly -B.H.

The friendliness of the family running the

place with all of the customers, regulars or
otherwise, is utterly unique, and is contagious
among the customers as well. - J.C.

Best pancakes around. Really nice

staff. - D.L.
The owners son thinks he knows my name
but he doesnt actually know my name
but he says it with such enthusiasm that I
dont care that he doesnt actually know my
name. - A.D.
The one son with the goatee is a
smokin hot piece of Greek man meat.
- D.I.

26
 WAITING FOR FOOD FUN

A Moment of Silence for

the Diners who Passed in
2014...

27
 DINER BINGO
As you go thru the diner guide, cross out the features you see during your dining experiences.
Good luck!!

CRANKY WAITRESS PLASTIC PLANTS SOGGY TOAST GREEK OMELETTE

OVEREASY EGGS
CONFUSED WITH
FOLGERS COFFEE HOMEMADE PIE WOOD PANELING SUNNYSIDE UP

PLAY A SONG ON
JUKEBOX 4 REFILLS ON COFFEE REAL MAPLE SYRUP RnB SOUNDTRACK

KIELBASA AS SIDE DINER VISIT AT LOTTO TICKETS YOUNGEST PERSON

MEAT 3:33AM IN ROOM

THANKS TO... all my dining companions and waitresses that put up with me.
front cover by steph. thanks to b.m.h. for the interview.
doodles by draw r., John, and j.n. collage by himiko go-go. they deserve many thanks!!!