Table of Contents

TROUBLE...................................................................................................................................... 2
COPYRIGHT NOTICE ...................................................................................................................... 3
DEDICATION................................................................................................................................. 4
Chapter 1 ..................................................................................................................................... 5
Chapter 2 ................................................................................................................................... 13
Chapter 3 ................................................................................................................................... 22
Chapter 4 ................................................................................................................................... 31
Chapter 5 ................................................................................................................................... 32
Chapter 6 ................................................................................................................................... 35
Chapter 7 ................................................................................................................................... 52
Chapter 8 ................................................................................................................................... 59
Chapter 9 ................................................................................................................................... 63
Chapter 10 ................................................................................................................................. 79
Chapter 11 ................................................................................................................................. 84
Chapter 12 ................................................................................................................................. 86
Chapter 13 ................................................................................................................................. 88
Chapter 14 ............................................................................................................................... 104
Chapter 15 ............................................................................................................................... 109
Chapter 16 ............................................................................................................................... 110
Chapter 17 ............................................................................................................................... 112
Chapter 18 ............................................................................................................................... 117
Chapter 19 ............................................................................................................................... 124
Epilogue ................................................................................................................................... 129
Playlist ..................................................................................................................................... 131
About the Author ..................................................................................................................... 132
TROUBLE
EMILY SOMMERS
 COPYRIGHT NOTICE
2014 Emily Sommers, all rights reserved, worldwide. No part of this eBook may be
reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or
by any means, (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the
prior written permission of the author.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either
the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously.

The author respectfully asks that you please support artistic expression and help promote
anti-piracy efforts by purchasing a copy of this eBook only at author-authorized online
outlets that serve your country. If youre viewing this book without having paid for it, you
are pirating this creative work.

PIRACY=STEALING

It is against the law.

Emily Sommers thanks you deeply for your support and understanding.
 DEDICATION
I want to dedicate this book to all those people out there who have gone through or are going
through any form of anxiety or depression. The main protagonist in this book very closely resembles
my life and I wrote this book as a way of healing myself.

I also want to dedicate this book to my mum and husband. I love you and I can never express in
words how grateful I am for you love, support and understanding.
Chapter 1

I look in the mirror applying my favourite red lipstick and I cant help but have a flashback to
the girl I used be

As a kid I grew up in a small town and was taunted with looking ugly almost every day. Life
wasnt pretty when you dont have the typical American look; you know the blond hair and
blue eyes, well I guess not necessarily blond hair and blue eyes, but as long as you had fair
skin.

I came from a very cultural background; part Spanish, German, Indian, and African. My
parents split up when I was five so it was left for my mum to raise me. She worked two jobs
just to support me and although we werent poor, we were in no way considered rich by
any means. And the kids at school would make sure I never forgot that.

I remember the first day it started when I was only six years old. I was changing into my P.E
clothes when a couple of girls came over and asked me why my skin colour wasnt normal
like theirs or even worse, why my skin colour looked dirty.

I didnt know what they meant and before I could say anything they started whispering into
each others ears and giggling at me. Feeling humiliated and confused I ran into the toilets
crying while hearing them laughing in the background. Things got progressively worse after
that. I refused to go to P.E, pretending to be sick all the time so no one would make
anymore comments about me.

As I got older, especially through my teens, the teasing went from being just words, to being
spat at, to being kicked and eventually beaten up. It was traumatizing. During class one
time, we were asked what we would like to be when we got older. When it came to me,
everyone yelled at things like janitor, or garbage collector. Tears started streaming down
my face and I ran out of class. I was bullied so much that I dreaded school every day and I
became really depressed.

My mum worked so hard to pay the bills, and some days there was never enough food for
both of us so she would go without food just to ensure I could eat. Knowing just how hard
my mum worked, I never wanted to tell her any of the bad things that were happening. I
just bottled everything in, kept my head down and studied, while I bottled everything inside.

When I hit sixteen, I began to drink and take drugs just to ease the pain and I guess, fit in
with the cool kids. I remember being invited Ryans house party the most popular kid in
high school. Everyone loved Ryan and majority of the girls just wanted to get laid by him, if
they hadnt already, even he had a girlfriend named Stacey. He always had a wondering eye.
So I thought it was weird when I got there that Ryan and his mates became really nice to me
and said they would get me some lemonade. Instead they had been secretly filling my cup
with Vodka and getting me drunk. Even though I knew somewhere back in my fuzzy brain
that what they were doing was wrong, I liked that they were not at least spitting or throwing
things at me so I guess I just continued to drink. To avoid being the butt of jokes, I started
to become somewhat of a bully myself just so people would leave me alone. I would make
fun of teachers and swear at them just to make the other kids laugh. At least they werent
laughing at me. Never mind how much I was suspended, but mum was never home much so
she didnt realise I wasnt at school.

I finally got accepted my some of the cool group; a bunch of girls who were as nasty as
they could come. But better to be on their good side I guess. Stacey, Ryans Girlfriend, was
one of the girls who primped me up and would have my eyebrows waxed, ensure my nails
were always done, and ensure my makeup was always flawless. She even gave me weight
loss pills and had me exercise every day with her. I dropped from being a size six to size two
in less than a month. She always told me that to be part of them, I had to be skinny and
look less ethnic. That meant dying my long brown hair to blond and even using bleaching
cream to ensure my skin didnt look so dark.

So I did it, for two years. I got up every day, exercised, took my weight loss pills, bleached
my skin, ate hardly anything, drank excessively and took drugs and let guys take complete
advantage of me so that I could be accepted.

Shit hit the fan on Graduation night. I was in the bathroom totally wasted and on the verge
of puking my guts out when Ryan barged in on me and forced himself on me. He told me I
was lucky to even be part of his group and that I was a little ugly bitch and would never be
attractive because my cultural background was disgusting and that I would only end up
being someones servant. He then forced himself upon me while I kicked and screamed for
him to get away. He backhanded me on the face over and over until he had my arms pi nned
and was about to unzip his pants and rape me, but Stacey walked in on us. She took in the
scene and screamed at me for trying to steal her boyfriend. Of course Ryan played along
with it too.

That night was the biggest wake up call of my life. After that night I never saw my so called
friends again. I cried for weeks, never leaving the house. I stopped all the drugs and drinking
and my bullshit ways. I finally told my mum everything. I was a mess. I started having panic
attacks just being around other people. Normal places like the supermarket became a
nightmare as I was paranoid I was about to be ridiculed. I constantly felt paranoid, like
everyone was judging me. I realised that I would never be happy here, that Id grow up and
rot in this small town with these small minded people. There was nothing and no-one for
me here.

Mum told me to pack my bags and that we would move to LA and live with her sister and
start a new life there. From that day, I never looked back. By some miracle I had done
enough to be accepted into UCLA so I guess it was time to go.
While I was at uni, I started to feel like I wasnt living in my past anymore. I finally had some
semblance of confidence that I so ached to have. I was going places, I was studying hard,
and I was surrounded by good people. And then I met Steve.

Steve destroyed all the good that was in me.

He was lawyer who I met while I was at uni. At first he was charming, smart, and fun. He was
30 and I was 21. He was my first boyfriend, and the first man I gave my virginity too. After
only a month, he begged me to move in with him. Our love was fast and knew no
boundaries. I thought he was the most intelligent person on the planet. I worshipped him. I
breathed him. I lived him. I lost myself to him. And I didnt realise it at the time, but he was
controlling every part of me.

He would always tell me that I should have pretend interviews with him before I went for a
job interview. I remember every time he asked me a question that I answered; he would
belittle me for my answers. Telling me how stupid I was for saying that. That only a nobody
would say that. He would then tell me how stupid my friends were. That I was hanging out
with losers. Of course I believed him. I loved him. And he loved me. And someone who
loves you knows best, right?

After a year of being with him, I noticed he started hanging out with girls he once slept with
and would stay in touch with a couple of his ex-girlfriends who he was still friends with.
Even when I told him I wasnt comfortable with him being around them, he told me I was
being insecure. That I had no reason to feel that way because he wasnt with them he was
with me. I believed him, of course. He loved me, so I could trust someone who loves me,
right?

On the night of our one year anniversary I came home to find him in our bed with his ex.
Everything from that night onwards remains a blur, but I did move out and went throug h
some serious depression. Steve told me he still loved me but just felt like our relationship
wasnt right. That he wasnt feeling the love. He said he needed space. You would think that
after seeing my boyfriend in bed having sex with another woman would make me never
want to see him again right? Wrong.

I loved him, I was so deluded, I was convinced in his lies that he loved me and space would
fix his mistake. After all, I felt like I couldnt live without him. I needed him. My world
revolved around him. He was my oxygen. It was sickening. It wasnt healthy. But I guess our
whole relationship was never healthy. For three agonizing months I waited for him for his
space. I knew he was sleeping around with other girls. But he would call me and tell me he
loved me and that he just needed to figure out which girl he wanted. It makes me sick to
think I stuck around even after he told me that. But I did. And every day, for three months, I
would wake up and throw up bile and cry myself to sleep. I was in a constant state of
anxiety. A state of anxiety and depression I never thought could exist. My mind became a
prison. I lost so much weight. I couldnt eat because I constantly felt anxious. I didnt sleep. I
didnt talk to anyone. I didnt leave my house. I couldnt face work. I felt like my life was
over. All because this person, who I thought loved me, completely used me and betrayed
me and I believed everything he said. I felt like the biggest fool on the planet. I was
convinced everyone was judging me, and everyone was laughing at me. The joke was on me.
I became a recluse. The events that happened to me in high school left me feeling like a
broken girl. The breakup with Steve was a trigger that set off my anxiety to a whole new
level. I was constantly in fear of other people, having panic attacks on the regular. I was
brainwashed with negative thoughts.

Now Im 25. And the person staring back at me is a far cry to the girl I used to be. After
completing my Bachelors degree in Journalism and going through that hellish breakup with
Steve, I spent a year in therapy. I stayed with my mum and just learnt how to be my on my
own again. Being an individual in my own shoes. Trying to regain my confidence and
strength.

I began to eat again. I had some serious therapy in that year; everything from Cognitive
Behaviour Therapy or CBT as Psychs like to call it, to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy,
to Exposure. You name it and I did it. I mediated, I went for walks, and I found my love of
going to the beach and swimming on my own. I slowly started to leave the house again. I
reached out to my friends who I stopped talking to while I was with Steve again. I slowly and
steadily was trying to love myself again.

After a year focusing just on me, I applied for a job for the LA times as a part-time reporter.
But fate had other ideas I guess. I had another part time job working in the jewellery
industry as a buyer. In fact I began this role as soon as I came to LA and loved what I did.
Steve always used to tell me I would go nowhere working in jewellery and that I should
focus on being a reporter. I thought he was right since I was a curious person and was
forever reading and writing. But In the year that I spent time healing myself, I began to
make jewellery and would sell them to family who encouraged me to peruse it as a
business. One of my wok colleagues, Emmanuel, who also worked in the jewellery biz with
me, saw my designs and thought I was nuts not to start my own jewellery line.

He was so supportive and believed in me to such an extent that he invested in me and

helped me start my own jewellery line. It just so happened that Emmanuel had his own
multi-million dollar real estate company on the side and saw something in me that I didnt.
Now, in my mid 20s I have my designs stocked throughout LA and next month I will be
flying to New York to meet with some buyers to stock my line in some of the largest name
department stores. I honestly never though my life would take such a turn around.

But even though my career has taken off, and Im definitely in a much better place than I
was, I suffer from social anxiety and panic attacks as a result of my years in high school and
my relationship with Steve. Sure Ive seen a therapist to deal with all my shit and it has really
helped. But some things have scarred me so bad that even therapy and medication cant fix.

I constantly live in fear that someone is about to call me ugly, or find out that Im stupid
because of my cultural background. And I cant put my trust in anyone because I keep
looking back at how naive and foolish and trusting I was with Steve as well as those kids
from high school. The logical part of my brain knows this is stupid, and that I cant pool
everyone in the same circle, because by doing so Im just as bad as the kids from high school
and Steve. But I always live in fear that in any social situation, Im one step away from being
ridiculed and betrayed.

The funny thing about it all is that if you never knew my past, youd never know Id have this
issue. To others I seem confident and strong... I eat healthy; I practise yoga at least five
times a week combined with a couple days of kickboxing and running. It helps to get the
anger and fear out that Ive been holding back after all these years from my past. Although
some days it feels like I am still running from my past.

Maybe I put up a good front because if anyone really knew how messed up I was inside,
they would run a mile.

*******

The doorbell rings breaking me out of my reverie. I run to the door almost tripping over my
signature Louboutin black pumps.

As I open the door I am greeted my best friend Mel. Mel is one of my closest friends. Shes
more like a sister. She has shoulder length blond hair with legs that go on for days. She has
the most amazing body I have ever seen. But she thinks Im deluded.

Mel is like me in the sense that looks can be deceiving. She may wear some of the shortest
skirts and dresses Ive ever seen, in fact sometimes I have to double check she isnt wearing
a belt, but in reality she is a total tomboy. She grew up with five older brothers and has a
pretty tough attitude. I met her at uni and we have been inseparable ever since.

Well look at you Sophie Jacobs! I love those shoes and Oh look at that dress, it is fucking
stunning, she says rather enthusiastically.

I look back at her and have to bite my tongue when I see how short her dress is.

Hey babe, thanks, I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and inviting her in. Although Mel, is
that a belt your wearing caz babe, I hate to break it to you but if you bend in the slightest
Im pretty sure the whole of LA will see your breakfast.

She rolls her eyes at me.

Really? I actually thought it was too long. Was thinking of going for something shorter, she
replies with sass.

Babe, any shorter and you might as well walk around naked, I laugh back

Bitch.

Slut.

And we both crack up laughing. Thats thing with Mel, I can say anything to her and her to
me, and we just get each other. Not once have we ever offended each other.

She starts rummaging through my cupboards, clearly looking for some liquid courage.
Where is the champers at babe, I need some drinks before we hit this club, she says
excitedly

Oh on the cupboard to your left, help yourself. Im just going fix up my hair and Ill be right
back to join you.

Truthfully, Im feeling anxious again. I usually avoid bars and public places like the plague,
but through therapy Ive realised the more I avoid, the worse it will be. And over the years
things have gotten better, but the hardest thing is letting anyone in. Mel won me over with
her boldness and non-judgemental nature, and she knows about my past and my anxiety
issues. She has been a wonderful and patient friend in getting me to face my fears and do
more social things. I guess partly to her I would never have had the courage to start my own
business.

I head back to my bedroom and I look in the mirror taking a couple of deep breaths.

Breathe in

Breathe out.

Cmon Sophie you got this. Just like before.

Ever so slowly, with each breath, my nerves start to dissipate. My anxious thoughts are still
there, the ones that tell me that as soon as I step outside my door people are going to laugh
at me and judge me, but at least my breathing has slowed.

I take one last look in the mirror and apply the final touches of my mascara. If someone
were to describe me in detail I guess that would say I have full lips that are framed by my
strong jawline. I have hazel cat like eyes, with long brown wavy hair that falls just past my
rather ample size breasts. I also have a tiny waist with long lithe legs that seem to be the
envy of many girls and seem to be a homing beacon for guys.

Tonight Ive decided to wear a black tight fitting LBD with a seriously low back, hair up in a
loose bun with some tendrils framing my face and to show off my back.
Satisfied with my outfit and makeup, I head back out to the kitchen where I see Mel texting
on her cell whilst sipping some champagne.

Is that Nate? I ask her.

Nate and Mel met at the beach a couple of weeks ago and he seemed like a nice guy who
was cute enough. Things were new with these two and he asked Mel to catch up with him
tonight at the new bar that had opened up.

Yeah he said hes just arrived at Illusion and Im just letting him know we will be on our way
soon. Is Em going to be there?

Yes, I said I would just meet him down there. Ill find him, I say pouring myself a glass of
champagne.

Mel watches me pour my drink, eyeing me wearily. Babe, are you sure youre okay? I know
how anxious you get.

Mel, Im fine, I reply back. Ive gotten heaps better and the more I expose myself to this
stuff, the better Ill be able to handle things

She continues to look at me with scepticism in her eyes. Okay hun just checking. But take it
easy on the drinks okay. You dont want to numb yourself from the feeling.

I roll my eyes. She gives me this pep talk every time we head out to a bar. I was not the girl I
used to be. If anything I was a lightweight. After two drinks I was tipsy and Id always stop
there. I would never go back to the girl I used to be.

You know Soph, Nate said hes bringing some friends along. About time you got some
action babe. When was the last time you had a good fuck? she asks like its something she
asks just anyone.

Well let me see Mel. I had an orgy last night. Does that count, I reply with attitude.

It was always the same convo with Mel:

When are you going to start dating again Soph?

He was cute Soph and totally checking you out, why dont you go over and talk to him?

Soph whyd you dump him after seeing him for a month, I thought things were cool?

And it wasnt that I had any issues with getting involved with a guy; I just never wanted to
get close enough where I would get hurt again. I had major trust issues after that incident
with Steve. It would take me a really long time to even begin to see someone, and as it was,
I was already dealing with a busy work schedule and my anxiety issues didnt help. I figured
that as soon as a guy knew I had these issues, hed bolt. And I never wanted to be ridiculed
and left out and betrayed. So I always broke it off before they even have the chance. It was
a defence mechanism but I knew one day, I would have to eventually stop running awa y.

Argh lighten up Soph. I was only saying! Mel says light-heartedly giving me a slight laugh.

I smile back at her. I can never be mad at Mel, she always means well. Sorry Hun. Just a bit
edgy.

In that case, drink the whole damn bottle. Youre more fun that way! she says laughing

I laugh back at her. Cheers, I say as I clink my glass with hers and down the entire glass.
Lets go.
Chapter 2

We arrive at Illusion and I can already feel eyes on me as soon I walk through the door. Its
like this every time, I see the guys looking at me giving me smiles and winks and all I can do
is think of is my past. Of Steve. Of Ryan. Thats when the anxiety kicks in and panic starts to
bubble.

Mel grabs my hand and gives me a slight squeeze and Im immediately pulled out of past
and back to the present. Im here babe, its alright. Youre not in school anymore.
Remember that they are just looking at you because you are stunning, she whispers into
my ear.

I smile and nod back at her, but stunning is far from anything I feel or have ever felt. No
matter how much makeup I wear, or the designer outfits I drape on my body, the expensive
shoes on feet- I always feel ugly on the inside. And thats where the true beauty lies doesnt
it? Its funny how many compliments I receive these days and how all I do is twist these
compliments, shape and shift them so that eventually, they sound negative to me. Totally
twisted. Yep thats me. Hot girl on your six. But an absolute mental shit storm on the inside.
Very attractive to the opposite sex Im sure.

Mel spots Nate sitting in one of the VIP lounges and he gestures her over. She keeps a
strong hold of my hand as we walk over. I look around and see the flashing lights and feel
the bass of music vibrating through my body. Im already feeling tipsy from my drink with
Mel and I begin to relax a little, even swaying my hips to the music playing in the
background.

Ladies! You both look stunning! Nate says while giving Mel a kiss on the lips and me a kiss
on the cheek.

Hey Nate, I say politely.

Mel and Nate have been dating for a couple of weeks now, which surprises me because Mel
is not one for relationships. Shes a love em and leave em kinda girl. Cue Samantha from
Sex and the City.

Whats going on Soph, where is the lucky man tonight? Nate says breaking me out of my
trance.

Im riding solo Nate. Just here to enjoy the night with you guys .

Aw well youre in luck Soph. I have some friends Id like you to meet, he responds.

Before I can object, Nate has a tall guy with short brown hair who is fairly cute standing next
to him.
Micah, this is Sophie, Mels friend. Sophie this is my mate Micah, Nate says cheekily.

I give Nate a death stare before I put my hand out and shake Micahs hand, nice to meet
you.

Likewise, he says with a cute smile before eyeing me up a down.

A lady comes round with drinks before we can say anymore and I grab a g lass of champagne
and sip it slowly while trying to make small talk with Micah. I swear I could slap Nate. I am
not a charity case.

Nate mentioned you were beautiful but I have to say, thats an understatement, Micah
says with a shy smile.

Oh youre too kind Micah, I say sarcastically

He laughs at my brush off. So what do you do? he asks

I begin to tell him about my work and he lets me know he works as a civil engineer and that
he knows Nate through work.

We continue to make small talk and out of the corner of my eye I see Mel run off with Nate
to the dance floor.

Great now Im stuck here.

Feeling tipsier and a little bored of Micah, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Walking
towards the girls cubicle, I cant help but notice three guys standing off two the right
chatting away. But one guy catches my eye in particular. Hes the only one who stands there
confidently, not talking to anyone. Girls walk by him, openly gawking at him, but he just
ignores them. My eyes travel from his face down to his feet and I instantly like what I see.

He has wavy brown hair and hes attire consists of a white shirt that has a few buttons open
exposing his very muscular chest. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing the tattoos that snake
up both his arms. When he swigs his beer I can see the muscles in his biceps , and his shirt is
hiding what I can tell is a washboard stomach that makes me want run my hands down
those abs. My eyes travel down further and I see he is wearing jeans that are hung low
revealing his Armani underwear. Hes at least six foot tall; with the most gorgeous olive skin
I have ever seen. And hes built like a Greek god. He works out alright. He is the epitome of
gorgeous. But its not so much his body, or his tattoos, or clothes that catch my eye. Its his
eyes.

He has the most intense emerald green eyes. Eyes that you could get lost in if youre not
careful. Most of all, he looks like a whole lot of trouble. A heartbreaker for sure. With looks
and a body like that, you would be done for. And hes also so out of my league. A guy like
him could have any girl and I would be lucky to even have the chance to have him look my
way.

But before I can continue staring any further, he slowly turns his head scanning the place
and his eyes land on mine. His eyes are more gorgeous than I thought and his stare is so
intense its like Im caught in some weird hypnotic state. Feeling embarrassed that he caught
me looking I quickly look avert my eyes and hightail it to the girls bathroom.

*******

As I head back from the girls bathroom, I spot Mel and Nate near the bar talking to some of
his friends. I begin to walk over but am grabbed by the arm by my business partner,
Emmanuel.

Sophie! Look at you, you sexy minx! You look to die for darling, Emmanuel yells excitedly
over the music before giving me a kiss on each cheek and big bear hug.

Hey Em! So good to see you! Are you here with Frederick?

Emmanuel, or Em as Mel and I affectionately call him, is the most gorgeous gay guy we have
ever seen. He met his partner Frederick a couple of years ago I have never see Em so happy
in all the time Ive known him. Em is also the hottest looking gay guy I have ever met and is
one of the nicest guys too. He had a similar upbringing to me. He was beaten up and picked
on during his school years and life was not pleasant for him in any way. When his parents
found out about his sexuality, his father flipped and ended up disowning him. He suffered
severe depression throughout his teens and early adult life. But ever since he found
Frederick, and removed himself from people that brought him down, he grew into the man
he was always meant to be. I guess thats why Em and I have a friendship like glue. We just
get what each other has gone or is going through.

Oh we had a fight, hes being a child because we went looking for places today so we could
move in together and we fought about everything from the location, to the house not being
big enough, to not having a big enough closet to fit all his shoes in. Who knew moving in
with someone could be such a pain in the ass!

I laugh at him. Em and Jase are always at it. Aw you guys will work it out! Come on, lets go
to the bar and grab a drink I say linking arms with him.

Em was the only person who helped me through the panic attacks I suffered and he in turn
opened up to me about his the depression he faced growing up. I was there for him as a
friend, forever telling him I loved him and just how much of a beautiful person he was. We
formed a strong bond. One day while he was over at my place, he noticed the jewellery
items I was designing on the side, and thats how he invested in me. It just so happened that
he was also building his own business-a real estate company that was earning him a
lucrative amount of money. Before long, his company hit the multimillion dollar mark and
he now sells to the elite in Hollywood.

Em and Mel are my best friends. They know about my past and they know about my
anxieties and fears. If it wasnt for Emmanuel believing in my designs, and Mels nurturing
spirit, I dont think I would be where I am today. I owe them my world. Thats how close my
bond is with them.

Because of our pasts, Em and I both want to help people who suffer with anxiety and
depression, especially since we experienced these feelings first hand and we never want
anyone to feel that way. Together we started our own charity called the Star Foundation.
Since its inception a year ago, we have raised over a million dollars.

So whats going on with you Soph? I saw that guy checking you out, he says pointing over
to Micah.

Oh Micah. Yeah hes Nates friend and as cute as he is, hes a bit of a bore.

Well he cant take his eyes off you.

So who are you here with? I ask changing the subject.

Actually a few guys from work and a couple of clients.

Mixing business with pleasure I see. Trying to get your clients drunk so they can say yes to
the ridiculously expensive properties you show them? I tease

He just laughs. Speaking of business, you mentioned the other day Barneys would be
stocking your range in New York! That is awesome Soph! he says excitedly

I was lucky enough to have my jewellery line stocked in Barneys in their LA stores, but I
really want my range in their flag ship store in New York so they have agreed to meet me in
a couple of weeks to decide the outcome.

Ah I wouldnt be celebrating just yet. I havent signed any contracts. Their LA office told me
verbally it would be happening but I still have to meet with the buyers in New York next
month to sign a contract. And until I have that I dont want to get my hopes up. Besides, its
our business, not mine, I say seriously.

Honey, the business is all you. Youve put in the hard work. I merely gave you some dosh,
he says with a wink. And dont think so negatively about what the buyers will say. You will
be fine darling. Its all going to work out, you will see Bella. Cmon let me introduce you to
my friends.

I wave over at Mel letting her know Im heading over with Em and she winks at me.
Em introduces me to about seven different guys and Im already feeling anxious at the idea
of holding a conversation with people I dont even know. My hands begin to sweat and my
breathing starts to become shallow. Noticing my unease, Em squeezes my shoulder.
Breathe Soph. I right here. Just breathe. You can just stay and talk to me if you feel
uncomfortable.

Thanks Em I should be okay. You know I get like this around people I dont know, I say
shakily.

As I sit down on the couch next to Em, Daniel- one of his work colleagues- starts telling us
about his mates bucks night and how he was arrested for his nudey run down the freeway
while having a burning cigar lodged between his arse cheeks topped with a Santa hat. The
image alone is enough to set me into a fit of laughter. The hilarious bucks stories continue
with the other guys and I am in tears at the antics these guys have gotten up to.

I turn up to scan the crowd for Mel, but I freeze as I see the same guy I was checking out
before standing in Ems circle of friends with his eyes glued to mine. His stare is so intense it
leaves a scorching trail of fire from wherever his eyes travel. Im caught somewhere
between anxiety and lust and I begin to break out in a sweat almost immediately. I look
away hoping he has too, but when I look back he is still staring at me. I can see a busty blond
talking animatedly to him and even though he nods his head at her, his body language tells
me hes not interested.

Please dont tell me hes a friend of Emmanuels.

Before I can say or do anything, Em tells me hes getting up for a drink. Now Im left sitting
alone looking a little out of place as Im surrounded by people but not talking to a single one
of them.

So I do what any person would do in this situation. I pull the phone out of my clutch and
pretend to look busy. In reality Im just re-reading text messages and hoping Em comes back
soon so I can get out of this awkward situation.

At the same moment I pretend to read messages that Ive already read, I feel the couch next
to me dip. I turn thinking I would be seeing Em. Instead I am greeted with that gorgeous guy
I couldnt take my eyes off earlier.

Holy shit he is so damn gorgeous.

He looks at me with a killer smile.

Hey, he says with a nod.

Hey, I say completely dumbfounded.

What is he doing here?

Immediately I feel the panic start to surface and I know he is going to think I am a total freak
if I lose it in front of him. I decide to just get up and hang out with Em at the bar.

I begin to gather my things about to leave when Mr gorgeous turns to me and puts his hand
out to shake mine. Im Jase, a friend of Emmanuels. I saw you talking to him before and
noticed he left you stranded so I thought Id come and save you, he says with a confident
smirk.

Kill.me.now.

I realise I have two options. Pretend like I never heard and run. Or stay like a normal person
would and engage in a conversation. I decide to go with the latter. I want to be a normal
person.

Im Sophie. Its nice to meet you Jase, I say shaking his hand.

Jase cocks his head to one side and smiles at me.

I just stare at him wondering why hes even staring at me.

This is going to get awkward, fast.

My eyes wander down the tattoos on his arms. I cant quite make out the tattoo on the
right, but the one the left is of a phoenix. Its actually pretty amazing. My eyes trace his face,
noticing up close just how chiselled his jaw is and how piercing green his eyes are, and oh,
that skin. He has the most beautiful sun-kissed tanned skin I have ever seen. Some people
go red in the sun and end up looking like they have permanent sunburn. Jase looks like hes
been in the sun and the sun itself kissed him for blessing it with his presence. He also looks
like a whole lot of trouble. Like hes from the Russian mafia or something and is secretly a
Hitman. With his build I certainly would not want to be on his bad side. I can tell hes
bedded a lot of girls and left a string of broken hearts. And Im probably just another
helpless drooling girl hes met before.

What am I now, a profiler?

Realizing I have been staring at him like a complete idiot this whole time I decide to break
the silence.

Thats a pretty amazing tattoo youve got there. Ive seen phoenix tats before, but Ive
never seen one as detailed as this. The colours are amazing, I say pointing to his arm.

Jase stares at me for a couple of his seconds before he speaks. Im glad you noticed it and
think that. It took over 25 hours to complete.

Did it hurt?
Depends on your pain threshold, he says smirking. Its bearable. You just have to try not
to think about it.

Well I guess it couldnt have been that bad since you got several more done on the other
arm, I say checking out his other ink.

I didnt realise you were checking me out that much to realise, but yes you are right,
Sophie, he says with a smile that seems to be getting bigger and bigger at each idiotic
sentence I say.

Damn I like the way he says my name.

Im mortified that he noticed me checking him out and called me out on it. I try and think of
a comeback with some witty one liner but I have no ammo.

So how do you know Emmanuel? he says breaking the awkwardness I feel.

I tell him how we met and about my jewellery business and how Emmanuel invested in me
and how things have taken off.

Wow so you gave up Journalism and perused what you wanted. Well good for you. And Ive
actually heard of your jewellery line. My sister goes on about your brand a lot, he says
proudly.

Hes heard of me? Did he just give me a compliment? Oh if only I could break out into my
happy dance right now.

I play it cool and just smile back at him. So what about you, Do you work with Emmanuel?
I ask

Actually no, Im one of his clients. I live over in New York and am here in LA to find a house
since I will be here for at least six months of the year. Work is getting really busy and our
client base is on the increase and I can only fly back and forth so much. Emmanuel seems to
be the man to go though. He found me my place in New York so I flew up here for business
and in the time, Emmanuel is going to help me find a place.

So six months here and six months in New York? What exactly is it you do for work? I ask
curiously.

I half expect him to tell me he works for the Mafia and he really is a Hitman. And that Im his
next target.

I run my own consulting firm in New York. We work in the Marketing side of business ,
everything from Advertising, Sales, and Public Relations. I move around a lot for work
hence me buying property in LA as I have so many clients- but home is always New York for
me, He says conversationally.
Great, he had to go and ruin it by being handsome, successful and smart.

Luckily Emmanuel arrives in time to save me from embarrassing myself anymore.

Ah, I see two of my favourite people have met, he says putting down some drinks and
handing me a glass of champagne.

He begins talking to Jase and I sip my champagne slowly but I can feel Jases eyes on me the
entire time. Jases green eyes burn twin flames into mine. My heart does a double take at
the electricity I can feel between us. Its like the music is fading into the background and all
other voices are being drowned out except for Jase and I. Thats how his eyes make me feel.

Just when I think I cant be any more heated from his stare, his eyes travel down to my legs
and slowly, very slowly, travel up my chest, my neck, and then my stomach. Hes making it
completely obvious to me hes checking me out and not even bothering to feel wrong about
it. Its such a sexual turn on that a slight sweat breaks out on my face. How this man does
this to me I dont know. I hardly know him. And hes already making come unhinged.

I can barely concentrate on what Em is saying with the way Jase is looking at me. Like hes
devouring me with his own eyes. Like Im a feast he cant wait to eat.

So what do you think Sophie?

Huh? I ask.

Emmanuel just rolls his eyes, The masquerade ball next week. I was just telling Jase about
the charity fundraiser we organised for the Star Foundation. You know the one we setup
together?

I stare blankly at Em for a few seconds before I realise what hes saying. Em wanted to hold
a charity fundraiser for the foundation we implemented. I told him it would be a great idea
and Ive already contributed a third of my business profits from the last year to the event. I
also thought it would be great to have theme, make it something different, so I suggested
we have a masquerade ball. Complete with fire breathers, juggling acts almost like being
in a circus. I wanted the entertainment to help pull in as many sponsors and donate an even
larger amount to the foundation than last year.

I sneak a look at Jase who continues to devour me with his eyes. I can tell he wants to laugh
at how nervous hes making me with the way his lips keep twitching upward trying to break
a smile.

Of course Im coming Em. I help you set it up! And Mel is inviting Nate and his friends too,
I say meekly

Sounds great. The more people, the more money we raise.

The rest of the conversation goes on with a blur. Feeling buzzed from the way too many
champagne drinks Ive had, I decide to go and look for Mel to head home.

Im off Em. Gotta do some work on my designs tomorrow and I have a boxing session that I
dont want to miss.

Em gets and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Okay babe Ill give you a call during the week.

I look over to Jase who just nods his head once at me and smiles.

Sophie.

With a shaky voice I turn and smile, Nice meeting you Jase.

Likewise, he smiles back.

I turn to walk away and spot Mel over near the bar. But something tells me to look back. Its
as if I can feel Jases eyes still on me. I refuse to look back, because if he is looking, then I
dont want to give him the satisfaction that I looked. And if he isnt looking, well that would
just make me look like an idiot and further play on my insecurities.

Hey Babe Im ready to go, I mouth to Mel who is laughing with Nate and his mates.

We say bye to the guys, with Nate promising to call Mel again as we head out the doors to
call a cab.

But curiosity gets the better of me and I cant help but look back to see where Jase is.

Sure enough, his eyes are locked on mine.

Chapter 3

I wake early the next morning and go for a run around my block. Running always clears all
the anxiety and crappy thoughts running through my head. You would think after all these
years, all that stuff I went through back in School and with my ex wouldnt affect me
anymore. But its just not the case. At such a young age, you are so impressionable. And
even though the physical scars have gone, the mental scars remain. And they cut the
deepest.

Sometimes I feel like I am forever pretending. I look at the world and all the people in i t and
wonder, are they happy? Do they have fears and anxieties like I do? Did they go through a
horrible past and make it, or are they putting on a brave front like me? Sometimes it feels
like other people are just doing a better job at hiding all the things that are bringing them
down. Its like asking how someones day is, and the answer is always the same, Good
thanks, Hows yours?

But what if we were all honest, what if we never spoke lies just to please others? What if all
we are doing throughout our lives, by living and pretending to be happy and famous and
rich and successful and attractive was really just causing all of us to be unhappy? I dont
know, I guess Im rambling.

After clocking 10 miles on my run and covering myself in a film of sweat, I decide to walk
back slowly to my apartment and work on my jewellery designs. Im working on a new
summer range and I want to have my pieces ready before I head to New York in a couple of
weeks so the Buyers from Barneys can see some new stock.

As soon as I think Of New York, my mind rushes back to Jase. The stranger with the
incredibly sexy green eyes and ripped sculpted body. I shake my head from those thoughts
immediately.

A guy like Jase could have any girl he wants. I noticed the amount of females that were vying
for his attention all night. I even saw some girls slip him their numbers. He probably went
home with one of them and got laid. I dont know why the thought bothers me, but it does.
Why was he even looking at me like that all night? Is he just cocky and thinks he can look at
any girl he wants and have them? But why do I care? I dont even know the guy and hes one
of Ems clients who is heading back to New York. I probably wont ever see him again. Plus
its for the best. Im just a girl with a case full of mental issues and hed run so fast if he
knew the crazy thoughts that went through my head. And I cant trust guys. Sooner or later,
theyre going to betray you.

Hes probably forgotten all about me. Better that way too.

*******
I pull up to the studio and notice a black Lamborghini parked outside.

I dont know anyone from my class that drives a Lamborghini.

I walk inside and find the instructor has already started class. I quickly join in doing a few
stretches and warm up exercises.

Okay everybody LISTEN UP! Today were going to change things up a bit; were going to do
some sparring techniques with a partner- NO BAG! We havent done this before so find a
partner. Lets go people, LETS GO!

Shit I dont do partners. I never missed my punching bag more in my life.

I am more than happy to have a few punches thrown my way by you, whispers a deep
voice from behind me.

I swirl around to see where that voice came from and find Jase standing there with a
mischievous grin on his face.

What the hell is he doing here?

Hes dressed in simple shorts and T-shirt. I can see his well-defined arm muscles that are
covered in tattoos even more now, and his chest is large and perfectly sculpted.

Good god this guy, no, man shouldnt be let outside. I realise it now. He is a man. All the
other guys I met in the past were just that. Guys. Boys.

Sure, I gulp. I also manage a smile. Manage being the operative word here. I notice my
heart kicks in to overdrive and starts pounding loudly, and my hands begin to sweat. I can
feel the anxiety coming on and I dont even know how Im going to get through this session
with him. I cant even look him in the eye.

Okay Guys, picked your partner. Great. I want to practise some sparring techniques you did
with the bag now with your partner. Lets do some 1, 2 punches and some rear round house
kicks. Remember guys, the most important part of your combination is the when and the
what. LETS GO PEOPLE! yells the instructor.

What are you doing here? I manage to ask as I pick up my boxing gloves and strap them
on.

He gives me a confident smile, looking calm, and composed as ever. Not to mention a little
cocky. You said you had a boxing session and since I box I asked Emmanuel which class you
go to so I could keep up my fitness routine.

I dont say anything back to him; just continue to avert my eyes. When I do look at him, I
catch him doing his usual scan of my body. I look down at my own body, thinking there must
be something Im not seeing. But all I see is my legs dressed in tights and my tank top,
exposing my stomach.

What? I ask him annoyed.

Nothing, he says strapping on his gloves. I was just thinking how cute you look in that
outfit.

I shake my head, silently cursing under my breath.

What is his deal?!

I turn back to face him after strapping on my gear, but Jase continues to look at me with
those eyes. The ones that make me lose my breath.

Shit I need to get out of here.

Are you okay? You look a bit pale, Sophie.

Im just feeling a little lightheaded. I went for a long run this morning. Probably shouldnt
have as I think had one to many drinks from last night. I just need to get some air, I lie.

Jase just nods and walks over to his drink bottle, giving me my space to take a few calming
breaths.

Breathe in

Breathe out

Theyre just thoughts Sophie. No one is judging you. Youre judging yourself. Youre fine. You
got this.

After ten breaths and some more rational thoughts I begin to relax enough to stay in the
game. Im still feeling the panic but I know exercise will help exhaust those nerves.

Okay Im ready, I yell over to Jase.

Jase walks slowly back over to me. Okay little lady. Lets see what youre made of.

Who does think arrogant guy think he is? Anger takes over my fear as I want to sock him for
being such a cocky show off. What better place to start than being able to take a free punch
to his face?

I eye Jase and hold up my gloves eyeing him off. Jase dances around me. I throw a jab his
way, which he blocks. This goes on for at least 30 seconds , and all my jab attempts have
been blocked. Starting to get frustrated, I let my guard down for only the slightest second
and thats when Jase delivers me a rear round house kick (which I know I should have
expected). I miss the block and go straight down.
He offers me his hand to be pulled up but I knock it away determined not to be such a
wimp.

We continue to spar. I actually get a few right hooks to his face and manage to block some
of his punches.

But just when I think Im starting to get the hang of his moves, he delivers me another rear
round house kick and I go down again.

Im sweating and really feeling the adrenalin pumping through me and jump straight back
up.

Your technique is good Sophie, but youre anticipating me too much. I can see that in you
and thats your weakness. Another thing, if you stand there without moving around me,
youre too much of an easy target. Jase advises.

Here, I want you to spar, but this time I want you to move your feet around me, dance
around me, we call it a rhythm, Jase says as he shows me how to move side to side, back
and forth to try and throw the opponent off.

We go again and this time I do what he says, I step into my rhythm and try to throw him
off. He delivers a few hooks my way and a few jabs, and while blocking with one hand, I
deliver a few jabs his way. I dance to the right and left real quick before throwing a rear
round house kick thinking it would send him down, or at least make some impact. But nope,
he blocks me and I stumble straight to the ground. He comes down with me, pinning his
body against mine. His face only inches away from mine. His heart beat vibrating through
my chest. His eyes locked on mine.

Better, he whispers softly to me.

My breathing becomes even shallower as I continue to look into his eyes, him into mine.

Never flinching.

Never looking away.

Not even a single blink.

Time seems to stand still and I swear I can feel electricity crackling through the air.

OK FOLKS GREAT WORK LETS WRAP IT UP. TIME TO STRETCH, hollers the instructor
breaking the moment between Jase and me.

Jase slowly peels his body off me. A lot slower than a normal person should. Never once
taking his eyes off me.

I get up slowly too, a little dazed and feeling slightly awkward from that little episode.
What was that?

I walk over to my drink bottle and gulp down as much water as I can before deciding I need
air.

Realising how drenched I am, I grab my towel and start wiping myself down, feeling totally
exhausted. I probably should never have gone for that run this morning.

I pull my stuff together and Im about to walk out the door when Jase appears.

Im going to grab a bite to eat- you want to join me? I dont really know any good places
around here.

I dont know what to say. I want to say no and that it wont bother me to say so. I want to
not care that this amazingly gorgeous man even wants to be in my presence. I want to be
more confident. But I know Im going to say yes.

Sure, I reply. You can follow me in my car, I know a great Italian place where they do the
best pizza and pasta.

How about I drive and Ill drop you back to your car once were done, mig ht be easier than
following you around and probably losing you, he responds.

Why does his response sound like they have a double meaning to them? Or am I just reading
way too much into his words? Yup probably. Hes just Ems client who wants to eat. Get it
together Sophie!

I give him a slight smile as I follow him out back and realise the only cars remaining is my
Audi and that black Lamborghini I saw earlier.

Jase pulls out his keys and opens the black Lamborghini.

Holly hell, this guy is just so out of my league. He handsome, successful, and rich. Not a flaw.

The car purrs to life and I am already feeling nervous as all hell. I hope I dont break down
and have a full meltdown panic attack in front of him. God that would be humiliating.

Just when I feel like Im gasping for air, Jase cracks on the air con and pulls down the
windows to let the summer breeze flow through. I let my long hair out and it wisps wildly
around my face, cooling the sweat off my neck and chest. He has Kings of Leon playing at
just the right level in the background and I start to calm down.

I direct him to our destination and in about fifteen minutes we arrive at Mamas Pizzeria and
grab a table outside.
A blond waitress with some very large breasts and very short shorts is only too keen to s erve
us as soon she spots Jase. She hands us some menus and takes our drink order all the while
staring at Jase, not once looking in my direction.

As soon as she leaves I start chuckling to myself. Jase would be stupid not to know the affect
he has on girls. Even a blind man could sense it.

What so funny? he asks curiously.

My laughter grows louder. Really, it isnt obvious?

Laughing back he responds, No, am I missing something. Is there something on my face?

I laugh even harder. Geez he really is clueless.

Or maybe just playing dumb.

Does it ever get tiresome?

Does what? he asks with a confused look on his face.

Oh please like you cant see it. The girls! The way they stare at you! That waitress didnt
even look at her notepad while taking our order; she was so busy staring at you!

So youre saying I have some sort of effect on girls?

That would be an understatement. Stop playing dumb. You so know how gorgeous you
are.

Shit! Shit. Shit. Shit. Why did I just say that!

I instantly start to get hot in the face when I realise the verbal diarrhoea that just came
flying out of my mouth. Oh my god, I hope he doesnt think Im trying to crack onto him.
Where is the nearest manhole, because I think Im about to climb into it

Jase smiles at my honesty. And what affect do I have on you then Sophie?

I gulp.

He continues to stare at me.

I look away. Then back again.

Hes still staring at me.

Shit! I am so embarrassed. He clearly already knows what affect he has on me otherwise I

would have answered him now. Or laughed it off. Or come back with some witty one liner.
Before I can conjure up a coherent sentence, the waitress comes back and asks for our
order. She continues to stare at Jase not looking at her notepad once while she writes down
whatever the hell shes writing down.

As soon blondie leaves Jase looks at me and we both crack up laughing. I think it became
really obvious to him just how much blondie was drooling over him. Im surprised she didnt
slip him her number.

So Emmanuel tells me youre headed to New York soon to stock your range with Barneys.
Thats pretty impressive Sophie. Ive never met anyone with the kind of ambition you seem
to have. Have you been to New York before?

Did he just pay me another compliment?

Thanks. But I just happened to find something I love doing and it pays well so I consider
myself lucky. Regarding New York, I have been once. I have family over there. But it was a
long time ago so it will be like Im experiencing New York for the first time.

Well if this is your first time, you will love it. And I promise once you come, you will want to
come back again and again, Jase says with a cheeky smile.

I cant help but laugh. They were interesting words to describe my first time. Are you sure
youre talking about New York?

Sophie, are you insinuating that me, the honourable Jase could be meaning something
else? he asks with innocent eyes.

Choice words. Thats all Im saying, I say laughing.

I thought Id be feeling way more anxious. After all Im alone with Jase who was basically
eye-fucking me last night and seems to be doing it now too. With all my insecurities and
fears, I thought Id be close to having a full blown panic attack. But Jase keeps me laughing
with his sexual innuendoes and light banter. Its weird. A guy like Jase would have me
hyperventilating, and not in a good way. But Im feeling relaxed and at ease with him. Well,
when hes not eye-fucking me that is.

So buying a house in LA huh?

Yes. Im actually meeting Emmanuel this afternoon to look at a few in Malibu and the
Holmby Hills.

I just smile and nod. Because forming coherent sentences with this model looking mafia
man is proving to be hard work.

So enough of the boring stuff. A stunning girl like you must have a boyfriend? he asks
taking a swig of his drink.
I almost cough and spit out my drink. The words stunning and boyfriend dont really
match me. Before I can answer though, blondie brings us our food, leaving me to gather my
thoughts. After she turns to leave Jase just stares at me.

Yes? I ask puzzled.

Well, you havent answered my question, he says while taking a bite of his pizza.

Ah no, no boyfriend as such.

Ah huh, as such hey?

I avoid his semi question and focus the spotlight on him instead. What about you, with all
the attention you seem to attract from women surely you must have a girlfriend?

He gives me a killer smile that could make hearts melt and knees weak.

I guess Im still trying to attract the right woman, he says very slowly looking me straight in
my eyes.

I must be caught in his weird hypnotic trance because the next words that come out of my
mouth are not usually what I would ask.

And what would the right woman be?

Hazel eyes, wavy brown hair that cascades down to her back. Full plump lips with high
cheekbones. Legs that go on for days. Chocolate-coloured skin. Looks like a Victoria Secret
model. Mysterious. Ambitious. Smart. A total and utter stunner. Oh and shes gotta have a
killer right hook, he says rather slowly still staring into my eyes.

Wait...I have brown hair and hazel eyesHes playing with me hes just being a flirt. Roll it
off Soph.

Well she sounds like perfection. I dont think such a woman exists.

Oh she exists alright. I just have to look in the right spot, he says smiling.

I dont know how to respond to his statement, so I just eat my pizza in silence. Best to shut
up then ramble on. Otherwise who knows what I might say. Besides, even if he is flirting
with me, hes probably only after a one night stand. And if Im lucky to get past that, hell
see all my anxieties and fears and just think I have too much emotional baggage and run. I
wont get close. I wont let him in. The past has already taught me how cruel people can
really be.

Listen I better head back- I really have a ton of work to do, I say awkwardly, finishing my
last bite of pizza and pulling out my wallet and placing money on the table.

Jase notices my sudden shift in mood but doesnt say anything.

Okay Ill take you back to your car. Lets go I got this.

He hands me back my money and pulls out his wallet which is full of cash, leaving quite a
large tip for blondie.

As soon as we arrive back in my car, Jase turns off the engine and faces me. I quickly try and
unbuckle the seatbelt before he tries to pull any moves in this enclosed space, but just my
luck, the seatbelt gets stuck from my incessant pulling.

Jase reaches over and without saying a word; gently un-clicks my seatbelt, letting the belt
slide back up my chest, his hand holding onto the belt, which manages to ski m past my
breasts, back in its rightful position.

I swear it was the most sexually excruciating experience. The unbuckling of my seatbelt with
Jase. Thats kind of sad really.

Well thanks for that Jase. I will see you around.

I then make a quick haste out of his car, hauling arse out of there so quick youd think a
rocket was up my ass.

Im sure Jase is probably thinking what a fruit loop I am for running out on him like that but I
just cant get so close. And hes getting way too close. And there is no point. There is no
future. Id rather him be with someone who is normal. Whatever that is.

As I turn the engine of my car on, I quickly speed away. I look back to see Jase sitting in his
watching me with curiosity while I drive off.
Chapter 4

I need a drink. Its almost 2am and I cant sleep. I cant stop thinking about Jase. Something
about him makes me come unhinged. Sure hes attractive. But I think its more than that. He
brings up emotions in me that I have kept hidden. He makes me feel Im on the precipice of
being shunned, of being rejected. I know logically life is not high school anymore and I
shouldnt pool him in the same boat as Steve. But if he saw me back then, would he still
want to get to know me? Or would he just be another one of those guys who rejects me?

I cant help but think to the people from high school. What is Stacey up to these days? What
are all those kids who treated me like shit, who slapped and kicked me and abused me until
I felt like a piece of shit- where are they today? Would they even feel bad for how they
treated me? Do they even remember what they did to me? Are they living perfectly happy
lives knowing their actions have caused me to live my life in fear? Fear of other people? A
fear of thinking people are judging me? Fear of being beaten or slapped or told Im ugly?

What is Steve doing? Is he happily married now? It has been two years since I last saw him.
And yes, he called and texted, but after a couple of months he gave up. It took him a couple
of months to stop trying. Thats how quickly he forgot about me. Thats how much I meant
to him.

As soon as the thoughts come, tears well up in my eyes and the dam bursts. I cry and cry
until I have nothing left in me.

I should just accept what people say about me now. I should believe when they tell me how
utterly stunning I am. I should believe that I deserve love. That I deserve not to be alone.
And that I deserve to be respected and cared for. But I dont. I dont even know how. And
that is exactly why I run. I run from others. I run from guys. I run from Jase. Because if they
knew the girl I used to be, or if they knew the fucked up thoughts I have now, they would
run too. Run from me. Just like Im running from me.
Chapter 5

Please tell me you took him back to your place and fucked him!

Its Thursday night and Mel and I are sitting in my lounge roo m having dinner discussing
Jase. Well to be more precise, discussing if Ive done the horizontal lingo with him.

Oh please Mel. Im not you.

Well if you dont get into his pants soon, somebody else will. Maybe even me, she says
wriggling her eyebrows.

I dont get it. He basically eats me alive with his eyes when I first meet him. And then he
magically shows up at my boxing class. He can have any girl he wants. Why is he bothering
his time with me? I ask perplexed.

Ah have you met you? Youre Stunning. Smart. Down to earth. Ambitious. Loyal. Fun. Did I
mention Stunning? Mel responds with a convincing look on her face.

I give her a playful shove laughing. Youre saying that caz youre my best friend.

She rolls her eyes at this. How many times are you going to let the past dictate your future?
Youre not that girl anymore. And those people were idiots. And so was Steve. Id punch him
if I ever saw him. Ryan too. Im sorry all that bad shit happened to you and left you feeling
hurt and scared of others. But you cant live your life in fear Soph. Caz youre letting those
idiots from high school and an ex have all the power. Honey you have to learn to forgive and
let go. You are more than deserving of love and a totally hot looking man like Jase. And if
not Jase, then someone else. The point is, you have to stop obsessing over the negative
thoughts. Obsess all you want over the positive ones. But remember, you are in control of
your thoughts. You are in control of your life. Take your thoughts by the balls just like you
did with your career. Coax them and steer them the right way and in no time youll have
them coming the way you want.

I laugh hysterically at Mels last sentence. She always has a way of turning a downer of a
convo into something sexual. And shes one loyal, funny girl.

Melissa Harmon! Does anything clean ever come out of your mouth?

I walked right into that one

We both burst out laughing at my choice of words.

Your words not mine, she says laughing back at me

We both grab a slice of pizza whilst watching re-runs of sex and the city.
I ask Mel if shes invited Nate and his friends to the charity ball this Saturday night.

Yup sure have. Nate was only too happy to be coming along.

So things are going well with you two?

She looks down, averting her eyes away from mine, I do like him. Hes smart and funny. But
I dunno.

Whats the problem? I interject

She picks pretend lint off the couch and shrugs her shoulders, Nothing. He actually wants it
to be more serious. You know we had the chat. The one where we state were not seeing
anybody else and wanting to get more serious.

My eyes nearly bug out of my head. Mel getting serious with a guy? No way!

Melissa Rose! Are you telling me that you are finally going to have an actual relationship
with a guy? I ask with sarcasm.

She throws a pillow at me before speaking. Oh Sophie. Im not one for relationships. I like
the fun. I enjoy sleeping around. Theres no mess. It keeps things simple. When emotions
start coming into the picture, I freak out. Im not good with relationships ya know? I just
kinda fuck them up. And I swore I wouldnt do it again. Im just scared I guess , she says
hesitantly.

Well, well, well. Maybe you should start practising what you preach my dear friend. Wasnt
I just saying something similar about relationships and you gave me that little pep talk about
not living in fear?

Mel smiles at me. Okay miss smart arse! You got me there!

I smile back at her reassuringly. Nates a good guy babe. If its meant work out, it will. If
not, plenty of other guys for you to sleep around with.

Bitch, She retorts

Whore.

We both crack up hysterically at each other. Yes we have a strange dynamic calling each
other names. But thats why we work. We just get each other.

Mel finally speaks up, You know Nates friend Micah wouldnt shut up about you the other
night. He thinks you are one fine lady. Hes coming to the charity ball you know.

I remember Micah. He seemed nice. And he was cute. But he didnt grab my attention like
Jase has. He didnt make me sizzle like Jase did. But Jase is trouble. And Micah seems like
descent guy. I guess maybe I should get to know him better.
Yeah Micah seems nice I guess. But I wont be going unless I find a dress. I have nothing to
wear Mel. I need to go dress shopping.

Ooooh dont worry Soph, I got you covered. I have the perfect black number for you. You
will have any guy eating out of your hands.

Somehow knowing Mel and her penchant for dresses, it will be one revealing dress.
Chapter 6

Im not wearing that!

Its Saturday night and were getting ready for the masquerade ball. As luck would have it, I
left Mel to dress me and with the dress shes given me, I might as well walk in there naked.

Its Prada for chrissake Soph. Just put it on and you will see how stunning this piece is.

I look down at the thin veil of lace and sheer material lying on my bed. Okay I will try it on.
But I swear if I feel too uncomfortable in this, Im wearing one of my dresses. And I dont
care if thats not fancy enough for you!

I take the dress and head to the bathroom. I carefully slip the black silk and lace number
over me, taking off my bra due to the plunging neckline. I step back into the full length
mirror and am rendered speechless.

The dress is a halter neck that skims just pass my knees. It has a split up the right side
extending all the way up my thigh. The front shows off my ample size breasts almost making
them a centrepiece. Somehow though, the dress doesnt make me look slutty. Only Prada
can get away with that I guess.

I let my long wavy hair cascade around my face and do a swirl. I decide to keep my jewellery
minimal. This dress deserves the attention.

I wear a couple of gold costume bangles and diamond stud earrings. I always wear my
signature red lipstick keeping my eyes minimal. I apply some bronzer and blush and finish
with swipe of black liquid eyeliner giving me that Cleopatra look and some lashings of
mascara.
I feel like a sexy goddess to be honest. I slip on my gold and black Jimmy Choos and walk out
to see Mels reaction.

Fuck me sideways and then the other way. Sophie you look like sex on legs. My god, even I
want to fuck you. And they make your tits look Ah-mazing. Tell me you love it? She pleads.

I smile at her. Actually I do love it Mel. I cant believe your letting me borrow this. Its
stunning. Thankyou.

She just smiles and blows me a kiss whilst pouring me a glass of champagne.

Heres to our friendship and a wonderful evening, She says while clinking glasses with me.

*******

I enter the venue with my lace mask and take in the scene. It is exactly how I planned it
would be.
Burlesque dancers writher in every corner of the room, and candles are littered all over the
place. It has a sense of sex and mystery. I notice the sea of black tuxs and women in varying
lengths of dresses and everyone is wearing masks, making it difficult to pick out whos who.

As I walk out of the large dining hall into the outside courtyard, Im just as blown away.

There are fairly lights scattered everywhere, complete with fire breathers and juggling acts.
It truly is beautiful and I feel like Im stuck in some fairy tale somewhere between Alice in
Wonderland, a Burlesque Show, and a Circus.

Even with all the entertainment around the hundreds of people, I can feel eyes scanning my
body from every move I make. Men and even women gawk at the revealing dress I have
placed on my body and I immediately start to feel uncomfortable, now wishing Id worn
something more covered up.

I decide to call Em otherwise Mel and I will never figure out where he is amongst the sea of
masks.

Hey we just got here. I cant make you out. Were outside in the courtyard near the bar, I
tell Em over the phone.

Less than a minute later Em steps over to great Mel and I. Em looks more dapper than Ive
ever seen him. He has on an intricate gold and black mask on with a black tux. He looks
downright sexy.

Sophie, my, my, my. Look at you. One word. Stunning. And sexy, he says looking me up
and down and making me do a twirl for him.

Doesnt she look fabulous, Mel says in agreement.

She does. If she only knew the amount of eyes that are on her right now, Emmanuel
chirps in.

I tell her all the time Em. She doesnt see it. I thought a killer dress would make her realise
her potential.

Guys, Im right here! I say to them both.

Oh yes we know Sweetie, Em says sarcastically.

I shake my head at both of them and then do a quick scan of the place.

This place is amazing Em. Honestly, its exactly how I planned it. I feel like Im in another
world.

Em also does a quick glance around the venue and nods his head in agreement. You did an
awesome Job Soph. You really did. Weve had more sponsors turn up this year than any
other. And I reckon its due to the wonderful theme you came up with, he says with a quick
wink.

I give him a quick smile, showing my gratitude. Im just glad we pulled in more sponsors, I
say to them both.

Well tonight is for a good cause ladies so I want you to enjoy yourselves and have a good
time! I gotta run and speak to some other people but I will catch up with you both later,
Em says kissing us both on the cheek and running off.

Not long after, Nate and his friends have joined us.

Sophie look at you, how do they say it? Youre the belle of the ball.

I cant help but laugh. I do like Nate, he seems like such a genuine guy and Mel does look
happy with him. Actually this is Mels dress; she let me borrow it for the evening.

Baby, when am I going to see you in that show stopping dress? Nate asks Mel with
adoration in his eyes.

Mel whispers something -probably dirty- in Nates ear because his eyes nearly fall out of his
head.

Damn Mel, I think we should get outta here, he says looking around smiling like a Cheshire
cat.

Argh get a room you too, I say playfully

Oh we plan to, Mel says back at me.

I look over at Mel and Nate and cant help but smile at how happy they both look.

Nate is whispering something private in Mels ear and Mel is looking down with a smile on
her face thats about to turn into hysterical laughter. A private Joke. They look so happy.
Nate seems like a good guy who makes Mel happier than Ive ever seen. Secretly I envy that.
I wish I could let my guard down enough, let my vulnerability show through enough for a
man to accept me. But I cant. I feel like a lot of my anxiety holds me back. But I know thats
an excuse. I hold myself back because I let my anxiety get the better of me. And the one guy
I did give my heart to Steve- broke it. He belittled me for my anxiety and told me to get
over it. That it was all in my head. So many times hed call me crazy, and for a while, I
really thought I was crazy.

It was hard enough to trust and show my vulnerabilities again after my life in high school
and what Ryan did to me. But after letting Steve into my life how he betrayed me, I realised
that I just wasnt emotionally able to let anybody in. I couldnt go through the hurt again,
the humiliation. The fear. I couldnt handle it. And so after therapy, I just kept to myself.
Sure I met Mel and Emmanuel, but that was it. And I never would have pursued my business
venture if it wasnt for the love, support, and belief these two friends had in me and my
designs. And if these two would be the only people in my life for the rest of my life well Id
be okay with that. Better to stay single and not get hurt rather than allow someone else in
and give them the opportunity to hurt me like Steve did.

I know that sort of thinking would be frowned upon and I would be given the whole spiel of
me Living a life in fear and thats a life half-lived, but Im not ready. And Im not looking.
The furthest Id go is a couple of weeks with a guy where I could walk away. The ironic part
about walking away before he did was that I was left feeling even emptier inside each time.

Before I could melancholy take over, Im interrupted by Micah who I had to admit, looks
incredibly handsome dressed up in a tux.

Hey Sophie, he says whilst letting his eyes roam up and down. Wow, you look
incredible.

I couldnt help but laugh. This dress really did attract a lot of attention. I was just glad that I
was doing it justice.

From the corner of my eye, I see Mel and Nate walk over to the dance floor when Bruno
Mars Treasure comes on and I stand there a little awkwardly with Micah.

So you care to dance Sophie?

I looked into his brown eyes and blond hair. Micah is tall and has a nice build on him. He is
smart and good-looking. He seems like a good guy with good intentions.

Sure why not, I respond.

He takes a hold of my hand and walks me over to the dance floor.

As we dance, Micah got close enough to me where I allow him to let his hands rest on my
lower back. Hes gentle and he never once lets his hands wander.

I start to relax; somehow being with Micah feels easy and non-threatening. He seems like a
sweet guy who would be good company for the night.

Suddenly, the music slows down to Drakes, Just hold on (were going home).

This is what I didnt want. For Micah to hold me, its too intimate. But he holds me anyway.
He holds one of his hands in mine with his other resting on my lower back. I turn my head
and rest it on his shoulder, more so because I dont want to have to look him in the eyes and
get all serious. Micah seems to take my head on his body as a sign to move closer, as he
pulls his body closer to mine.
You know Sophie; I would really like to get to know you better. I would love to take you out
on a proper date, he whispers softly to me.

I think about it. Was it a good idea? Was it time to finally let my guard down, could I even do
it? Was I ready? Was there ever a right time? Micah seemed like a nice guy and maybe one
night out with him wouldnt hurt.

But just as I start to become comfortable being so close in his arms and telling him Id love
to go out with him, I hear a deep male voice speak over us.

Mind if I cut in?

I turned my head.

Jase.

Ohmygawd.

That depends on the lady. Sophie do you know this guy? Micah asks me protectively.

I look over at Jase and see his jaw clench at Micahs words. Before I can answer though, I
become momentarily lost for words as I take in Jases commanding presence.

Hes dressed in a simple black tux, and it is the first time I have seen him so dressed up and
he looks dashing. Put simply, he is absolutely hands down, gorgeous. He looks like he just
spent the past hour hanging out with his Russian Mafia buddies, having a good old boxing
match out in the sun, and then realised he had to attend a charity event. Maybe that
explains why his chest looks even more solid in that suit, or why is green eyes look so
intense, and why is skin looks like the richest shade of olive I have ever seen. He looks like
deadly assassin who slays women left right and centre.

Sophie? Micah asks again.

Dazed, and a little embarrassed at my micro-second fantasy of Jase, I finally begin to speak
up.

Ah, yeah sure. Um Micah this is Jase, aummfriend of Emmanuels. Jase this is Micah, I
say awkwardly.

The two men dont shake hands. They just eye each other off.

Micah finally lets go of me and walks away. But not without adding a bit of fuel to the fire.
Ill catch up with you later, Sophie. And let me know when youre free so I can take you
out.

I know he said it more to try and piss Jase off.

Before I can say a word, Jases rather large and strong hand holds one of my hands and his
other rests just above my ass. Slightly lower than where Micah placed his. I feel so tiny being
held by Jase, almost like a rag doll in his arms.

With Micah I was able to rest my head on his shoulder, allowing me to avoid eye contact.
But Jase holds me so I have nowhere to look but his eyes. I feel totally out of my element.

Jase moves his lips closer to my ear, whispering words that make my head spin. You look
stunning Sophie. Every single guy in here cant take their eyes off you. Ive never seen such a
gorgeous woman.

His words send tiny electric shivers throughout my body which turn into goose bumps. How
hes able to do that just by speaking to me terrifies me a little. This person is so much
trouble. The kind of guy who would drop me so fast on my ass that my butt cheeks would
continue to hurt several months after. Hes the guy your friends tell you to have a good time
with because hes only going to hurt you. Hes the person your mother warned you about.

I turn my head away from him, not knowing what to say.

His looks over at me and his eyes are filled with unidentified emotion as his jaw tightens.
So who was that guy you were dancing with beforehe seemed pretty interested in you?

Why does he even care? What is he even doing here?

I decide to change the subject. What are you doing here Jase? I had no idea Em had invited
you.

Jase finally smirks and says in that deep voice of his, If I didnt know better, Id think you
were trying to ignore my first question, Sophie.

The way he says my name, and the way hes gazing into my eyes makes my heart skip a
beat.

But before I go any further in my panic induced thoughts, I become a little annoyed. Jase
seems like the guy who always gets his way. Well screw that. Im not one of those girls. I
refused to be lulled in by his looks. He would break my heart in a second. I dont even know
Jase, who does he think he is?

Actually his name is Micah. And he was just talking about taking me out this weekend
before we were interrupted by you, I say looking straight into his eyes.

See, I can play this game too.

Hes not right for you, Sophie, he says looking away; his eyes taking on a dark glean.

Argh! The audacity!

How would you know who is right for me and who isnt? You dont even know me.

I couldnt help it. I was getting madder by the second. Who did this guy think he was? His
arrogance was beginning to grate on me.

But I want to get to know, he answers, his intense eyes burning holes through mine,
reaching right into my soul.

I dont have a comeback to what hes just said. Im rendered speechless.

Whats the matter Sophie, cat got you tongue, he whispers a little too close to my lips.

Before I can respond, Robin Thickes Blurred Lines blasts through the speakers and the
whole crowd screams with excitement.

I dont know how we both transgress from that last conversation, maybe its the song,
maybe its the alcohol, or maybe its the fact the Jase is actually singing the lines of the song
to me that breaks the tension between us and I cant help but laugh at his goofiness.

We both start singing to one another acting stupid and just having a good time. I cant
remember the last time I laughed so hard mimicking a song to a guy. Especially not a man
like Jase. The fact that hes being just as flirty and silly with me cracks me up. Especially
when hes trying to hit those high notes Pharrel can it. Trying being the operative word
here. Everything is so fun, and for once my hair has really been let down. Jase makes me feel
free, or maybe its the alcohol drowning out my better judgement.

Giggling at his absurdity, (who knew he had a less serious side to him?), I start dancing
closer to Jase and sing the lines of the song right back with him. Jase grabs me from behind
with his hands tightly holding my hips and begins to sway with me in a rhythm to just the
right beat.

I can feel his breath on the back of my neck and I could swear his lips have gently grazed my
ears. Im like putty in his hands. My neck and ears stimulate all my other private zones and
Im immediately turned on. He could do whatever he wanted to me right this second and Id
let him. I inch closer to him, pushing my ass into his crotch. His hands slide lower on my
front thighs, his hands resting just under the split on my dress, and gently squeezing my skin
with his thumb. I can feel myself start to get wet and I swear if his hands go anywhere else,
Id probably do him right there.

Before things can get any steamier, the song mixes into Justin Timberlakes Tunnel Vision.

Jase lets my body go for a second before coming back to face me. Theres a line Ive crossed
with him and we both know it. And the sexual tension between us only grows stronger.
Things are still boppy between us, were still having fun and laughing , but something has
changed. I just cant put my finger on what it is.
Both sexually charged, Jase grabs the back of my head and grabs a fistful of hair so that I
cant look anywhere but into those green eyes that seem to own me. I dont realise why hes
doing it until he slowly mimes the lines of JTs song:

I look around and everything I see is beautiful 'cause all I see is you,
And I can't deny it and I stand by it, and I won't hide it anymore
A crowded room anywhere, a million people around, all I see is you there
Everything just disappears, disappears, disappears, disappears...

He doesnt take his eyes off me with those lines, and hes holding my neck not even allowing
me to turn away from this intimate exchange. My body is getting warm in places I totally
forgot about and my heart starts beating faster.

In the back of my mind, I can hear myself screaming to get away, but that voice is so small,
like its being drowned out by Jases presence. I can feel a pull to him in a way that I have
never felt before, and the way hes holding me so close, ever so slightly grinding together on
my sex-only just- is making me crazy. My knees go weak and a small moan escapes my
mouth.

Jase continues to devour me with his eyes.

Never flinching.

There you are, he whispers to me.

I can feel the kiss coming; I can see his face come closer. And Im helpless. Because Ive been
trying to fight my attraction to him for so long, but I know Im about to give in. To hell with
the consequences. Because right now in this moment, in this space, with Jase, I am free. I
am happy. And I want to revel in it. Because I know it wont last.

Ok Ladies and gentleman, can we please have everyone seated inside so we can begin
dinner and speeches, some guy bellows out loudly on the microphone.

The crowd begins to groan a little but soon enough, they all begin to make their way inside
the dining area.

Jase ever so slowly lets go of my body. I dont know what to say, as I dont even know what
just happened there between us.

I slowly turn my body from his and walk away. I need to get away from him. I need to gather
myself. Hes trouble. My mind is reeling. Im almost trembling from his proximity.

What was I thinking?

I can feel Jases presence slowly following me inside, but I dont turn back. I cant.

*******
I finally spot Emmanuel talking affectionately with Fredrick.

Looks like theyve kissed and made up.

Sophie! So good to see you, Fredrick says giving me a kiss on each cheek.

Hi Hun, good to see you again. I hope you and Em have managed to finally agree on a place
together.

Fredrick just rolls his eyes. Oh please. Hes fussier than me. Dont believe a word he says
about me, Sophie. Hes the impossible one! By the way, I saw you and Jase looking rather
cozy out there on the dance floor. Trying to romance one of Ems clients ? he says wriggling
his eyebrows like its a secret hes going to keep.

You saw nothing Fred. We were just dancing, I say brushing him off.

Okay honey, whatever you say. My lips are sealed, he says before giving me a wink and
running off.

Great, Fredrick loves gossip and the last thing I want is for him to tell Emmanuel Im getting
cosy with one of his clients. Hed kill me!

I push the thoughts aside as I find my table and take my seat. Im on Emmanuel table,
meaning were up close to the stage since hes hosting tonights event. I see that Mel and
Nate are also seated with us along with Fredrick, Micah and Jase. I realise that Jase is sitting
on my right, and Micah is sitting on my left.

Well this could get awkward.

I realise how uncomfortable of a situation this is going to be for me. Not so much because of
Jase and Micah. But because of all the people Im surrounded by and knowing how anxious I
get in social situations. I slowly sip my champagne trying to calm my nerves and take some
deep breaths.

Mel notices how uncomfortable Im feeling as she makes her way over and squeezes my
hand. Im right here with you babe. You just say the word and we can walk outside to get
you some air. But just breathe and dont fight the sensations. Breathe through them. Accept
them. You got this baby girl.

I smile warmly at her. Are you sure?

As I look into her big brown eyes, I see so much. A lifetime of giggles and tears. Shes always
been there for me.

Promise. Im right here.

And just like, with her courage and belief in me, I begin to relax. I notice that now everyone
has taken their seats and I see both Micah and Jase are sitting on either side of me.

They both look handsome, but Jase is in another league. Where Micah looks like the
gorgeous boy next door, Jase has the face of a model, a body like a trained assassin, and he
holds himself with an air of confidence, if not cockiness.

Mel eyes me suspiciously as she sees the two men seated next to me. I smile and nod at her
letting her know that Im okay.

Micah gives me a warm smile and brazenly puts his hand around my shoulder. Its innocent
enough but I catch Jases eye and he notices Micahs arm on me and his eyes blaze with
fury.

Good Evening Ladies and gentleman and welcome to the 2nd annual Masquerade Ball in
honour of supporting the Star Foundation, Emmanuel bellows.

The crowd claps and a few whistles go his way.

Im absolutely delighted to be hosting tonights evening, and to raise awareness for those
who suffer with anxiety and depression. The Star Foundation is working to reduce the
impact of depression and anxiety in the community by raising awareness and
understanding, empowering people to seek help, and supporting recovery, management
and resilience. This charity event is especially dear to my heart as I have gone through this
illness and I had no understanding of what was happening to me. Help only came to me
through a very close friend. It just so happens this close friend of mine also endured this
illness. She would be there for me telling me all the positive things in the world and telling
me how strong I was. Sadly however, she thought she was weak for not being able to
practise what she was preaching.

Emmanuel then looks right at me, But she is the most beautiful, the strongest, and one of
the smartest people I know. I love her dearly, and she is a fighter. And its because of
charities like this, that this dear friend of mine was able to find help and fight back, he says
with a slight crack in his voice.

Tears swell in my eyes at Emmanuels words for me. I have never felt so fortunate to have
him in my life. He makes my heart swell. I notice Jase from the corner of my eye looking at
me inquisitively.

I love her. And it is a privilege for me to host tonights event. I believe no one should suffer
these symptoms and everyone should be able to get the help they deserve. As a result, my
company has donated over two million dollars to the foundation and we will continue to
donate 10% of our annual profits from now on in.

My eyes nearly bug out of my head.

Two million dollars? Oh my god.

Furthermore, I know a lot of you, and a lot of companies have donated to this great cause,
but I must also point out a client of mine, Mr Jason Harper, owner of Harper Advertising in
New York who is here tonight, has also donated a staggering 3.5 million dollars to this
event.

The spotlight moves to Jase who is sitting next to me and people start clapping and cheering
in his direction.

Already overwhelmed by Emmanuels generous amount of money to this event, I nearly go

into shock when I realise that Jase has donated that much money to this charity. A charity
Em and I built together. I clap slowly staring at him while he smiles to the crowd looking a
little embarrassed.

My mouth hangs open and I look and see Mel with the same expression on her face. I didnt
think Jase even knew or cared about such a cause.

The crowd stands up clapping giving Emmanuel a standing ovation while he walks off stage
and another presenter comes on letting us know tonights entertainment and that dinner
will be served shortly.

The crowd continues the cheers and the music comes on from the live band whilst
Emmanuel comes back around to our table and gives me a quick kiss and hug.

Emmanuel that is so generous of you. II cant believe you would donate all that money
and those kind words you said about me makes my heart swell, I stammer into his ear as I
bury my face into his chest.

Emmanuel grabs both sides of my face, You are stronger than you think. I never want to
see you shed another tear or ever be unhappy. I never want you to feel the way you do. And
I will do whatever I can to help those in need. You inspire me to be a better person Sophie.

We hug each other once more before he sits down next to Frederick where they start
cuddling and kissing over Ems generosity and his wonderful speech.

I cant help but turn towards Jase. I didnt know your company was such a large donator to
this cause, I blurt out.

He looks at me with hooded eyes. Theres a lot you dont know about me Sophie.

The waiters come and begin to serve dinner and we all begin to make light banter of the
night. I notice that Micah has removed his arm around me to eat, and Jase looks slightly
pleased at that.
 So, have you thought anymore about letting me take you out? Micah asks me, loud
enough for everyone to hear.

I notice Jase has also heard what Micah said and is waiting to hear my response.

Well . I stop abruptly has a I feel a strong hand on my leg, the side where my split starts
and it slowly inches a little higher. I turn my head sharply at Jase who pretends l ike nothing
is happening and pretending to be engaged in a conversation with Nate and Mel.

UmI um. I try to talk, but the more I do, the higher Jases hand inches up my thigh. Hes
inching closer to my sex and I practically jump when he squeezes my inner thigh.

Dear lord.

Sophie? Micah asks again.

Um yes sure. Id love to, I answer breathlessly.

Jases hand moves even closer to my sex. My heart starts beating loudly in my chest. I can
feel the blood pounding in my ears. I feel like Im going to start panting. My private parts
tingle and I can feel my breasts swell. I can feel myself getting wet. The whole scenario is
driving me crazy.

Okay great, well how about I give you a call tomorrow and we organise something
sometime this weekend, Micah replies, completely oblivious to whats going on
underneath the table.

Jase then turns to me and I want to swat his hand away but Im so sexually turned on that
for some stupid reason I dont.

Something wrong Sophie? You look a little flushed? Jase asks smugly

That bastard

His hand grazes my sex, ever so slightly, just enough to apply the slightest pressure on my
clit and I struggle to breathe. I know Im wet. His fingers are so close, he could easily slip a
finger inside, and I would probably come in a second.

Excuse me, I say abruptly standing up. Everyone from the table turns and looks at me. Ill
be right back.

I duck away from the crowd before anyone can tell me which way the bathroom is. The
room is packed with people, but I bob and weave through them with ease. Stopping for a
moment, I look around the room trying to find a way out. I finally spot the bathroom and
rush inside and lock myself inside one of the cubicles. I lift my dress up and wipe the wet
slick thats built up inside me. My underwear is soaked and Im beyond embarrassed. I
decide to throw them in the bin. Luckily I brought my purse with me and I have one of those
feminine wipes, which I wipe vigorously over the opening of my sex trying to erase all traces
of stimulation from Jase.

I cant believe he even did that.

I cant believe I let him

I sit down and slowly breathe in and out. Just like I always do. I dont know whats
happening to me. I would never allow anyone to do that. But Jase makes me feel out of
control. I do things I wouldnt normally do. And he turns me on with the slightest touch. I
need to get out of here.

I slowly make my way back to the table but I notice everyone has scattered around drinking,
dancing, and mingling. I spot Mel over in the far corner grabbing champagne.

Hey babe, I think Ill need one of those, I say to my best friend.

Oh there you are! Whyd you run off like that? Are you okay? You looked panicked before
and I was trying to find you.

I look down and then I look away, unable to meet her eyes. How can I tell her what just
happened?

Babe what is it? Tell me, Im getting worried, Mel asks with concern in her voice.

I re-tell the story of what happened at the dinner table between Jase, Micah and me. I also
tell her about our very intimate dancing.

She doesnt say anything. Instead she fans herself. Fucking fans herself.

What the hell are you doing? I ask annoyed

Well after that little story, Im getting turned on. Geez Soph, I dont know how you held i t
together. I probably wouldve done him on the table.

Thanks for that very visual image of you too.

So what are you going to do? She interjects

Theres nothing to do. Jase is trouble; I dont know why hes even bothering with me. He
can have any girl. And he probably only wants to fuck me and leave me. And even if he
doesnt, hell see my issues and he will run a mile. And it just cant work. He lives in New
York. Hes leaving in a few days. I probably wont see him again.

Okay slow down there tiger. First of all, you, she says pointing a finger at me, are
stunning. And youre up there with the supermodels. You dont have to believe me and no
Im not just being a nice friend by saying that. You are fucking gorgeous Miss Sophie. On top
of that, you have the kindest heart, are extremely loyal, and youre smart, ambitious and
fun. Any guy who cant see that is a moron. And you dont know Jase. Youre saying hell
judge you? Well arent you judging him? You dont know him either. Get to know him. He
may just prove you wrong.

Wow, did Mel just stick up for Jase?

What about Micah?

Guys are guys. How do I know for a fact that Micah doesnt have anyone else in his phone
book he calls up? Until they say youre the only one they want to be with, youre free to do
what you want.

Wow. Where are your morals?! Isnt that a bit unfair to Micah? I ask surprised.

She just gives me a shrug and sips her champagne.

I ponder what she says for a moment. Could she be right? Could I do this? And if Im going to
be getting involved with two guys, how do I know Jase doesnt have another woman on the
side? How do I know there isnt a girl back in New York? I dont know anything about him.
And I dont want to give my heart again only for it to be broken. But even though I try to
protect my heart, I still feel empty as hell inside.

I dont have long to think or even talk anymore about it with Mel because Nate comes up
and drags Mel away from me.

Just think about it, she yells over her shoulder as she heads away. I take a huge gulp of my
champagne, downing the whole thing.

Shes right. Just a little fun. Harmless. Ill walk away like I always do. Ill get mine, but I wont
fall in love. What harm is that going to do right?

*******

The rest of the night at the ball goes on without a hitch. I avoid Jas e and Micah like a plague,
chatting to Emmanuel and Mel when I get the chance.

Mel and I dance a lot that night, really letting our hair down and having a good time. We
laugh so much that I almost pee myself. I cant remember the last time we had this much
fun. I revel in this moment. I breathe this moment. I want to freeze time and capture this
moment and the happy emotions in it.

Bu the night slowly comes to an end and I say my goodbyes to Emmanuel and Frederick and
I walk up to Mel ready to catch a cab home with her.

Hey babe you ready to go? I ask.

She has Nates arms wrapped around her and I can see she doesnt want to leave him
tonight.

She looks at me with a huge grin on her face and I already know what shes about to say.
Im actually going to head back to Nates for the night. Are you okay to get home?

Ha! Knew it!

I cant help but smile back at her. I love seeing my friends so happy.

No worries at all. Ill head out front and call cab.

Nate gives me a quick kiss on the cheek before telling Mel hell meet her out front so we can
have a quick girly chat.

Are you sure youre okay to go on your own? I will totally stay with you and blow Nate off if
you just say the word, Mel asks with concern.

Please. Somebody has to get some tonight. And since its not me. It might as well be you! I
tease.

She smiles at me again and promises to call me tomorrow before she heads off.

I head to the bathroom before I leave as I have an overwhelming urge to pee. I dont know
why I have to pee so much after drinking. Something about breaking the seal or something.

I rummage through my purse and check my phone. I have a missed call from mum. I quickly
text her letting her know Ill call her tomorrow as Im out late. Im still really close with my
mum; she lives about half an hour away so we see each other often. With my job and the
way things have been progressing, I was able to buy her an apartment outright. It was the
least I could do to pay her back for all the hours she put it in to raise me. And for all the
times she went without food.

I rummage through my purse again to find my house keys, but theyre not there. I tip the
whole contents of my bag onto the bathroom counter and I see my lip-gloss, phone, some
fresh wipes, and perfume. But no keys.

What the fuck? I feel like Im losing my mind. I couldve sworn I packed my keys with me.

Shit! its only then I realise that my keys are with Mel. She mustve grabbed them on the
way out of my place and left them in her purse and I totally forgot to get them back off her.

I call her cell immediately but it goes to voicemail. Babe its me. Youve got my house keys
and I cant get in unless I have them. Call back ASAP so I can get them off you.

I decide to wait out the front of the venue, grabbing my coat on the way out.

Almost half an hour passes and still no call or text from Mel.
Shit.

Shes probably getting busy with Nate. Shit.How on earth am I going to get inside my
apartment?

Waiting for someone? a deep voice says beside me.

Of all the people in the world, who do I see? Jase. Of course.

I groan quietly inside. I thought I was doing well avoiding him throughout the night.

Actually Im hoping Mel calls me back soon because she has my apartment keys and
without them, Im kind of stuck

He looks at me contemplatively. Have you rang her cell?

I roll my eyes. Yes Ive rang her cell. Its first thing I did.

Do you have a spare set?

I groan at that. I always keep my spare set inside my house. I always used to think it would
be stupid as anyone could look under the mat or behind the tree and find my key. Plus, Ive
always thought I was clever for never losing my keys. Id never be one to lose them, right?
Ill just keep them safely locked away. Inside my apartment.

Yes I have a spare set but theyre not anywhere except inside my apartment. I dont think
Mel is going to check her phone all night now that shes with Nate. Im stuck. I may have to
get a room for the night.

Well Im staying at the Chteau Marmont. Why dont you stay with me? He asks
innocently.

This night is soooooo not going the way I had planned.

I look at him like hes just said the funniest thing on the planet. Ah, Jase, you had your hand
up my dress tonight, which by the way was totally out of line. And now you think Im just
going to go back to your hotel and sleep in the same bed as you?! No way- you are out of
your mind. I say shaking my head.

Firstly, Sophie, you seemed to enjoy my hand being there. Secondly, Im only inviting you
back because youre stranded. There is a spare bedroom. Hopefully by morning Mel would
have received your message and Ill take you to get your keys and drop you back to your
place.

I look at him with scepticism in my eyes, Im not sleeping with you just so you know.
He looks at me quizzically and a smile creeps up on his face. He shakes his head in
amusement. Okay Sophie, no sleeping together in any form. Come on then lets get you
into bed.

Why does it feel like Im walking into the lions den, and Im about to get eaten alive?
Chapter 7

Jase opens the door to his suite. My eyes nearly bulge out head. Ive never been to the
Chteau Marmont, but now that I have- Im not sure I want leave. We walk in to a small
lounge area with that has an ottoman recliner next to the curved shaped couch. Off to the
left is a small study, and next to the study leads to two bedrooms that are enormous.

Both rooms lead out onto a massive patio big enough to entertain a small group. Both
bedrooms have an ensuite that have marble floors and walls. There is a giant television
screen inside each bathroom, complete with a spa bath and two vanities. The rooms also
have a massive TV screen thats built into the wall and theres a fireplace just below it. The
rooms are stunning. I dont even want to think about how much this suite costs each night.
Probably a lot.

I turn to face Jase who is studying me quietly.

yes? I ask

No nothing, he responds.

Liar.

There are bath towels in the in the bathroom, and there is a robe there too with slippers.
There is shampoo, body wash, moisturiser all there for you. Ill grab you one of my shirts so
you can sleep. Ill be in the lounge room until youre ready, he says whilst digging around in
the cupboard for a shirt.

I um How do I tell him I have no underwear?! Gosh this is so embarrassing. I might

need a fairly long shirt, I umIm not wearing any underwear, I murmur staring at the
carpet.

I quickly look up and realise Jase has stopped sifting through his clothes. Its like hes frozen
in place. Almost like hes holding a pose. Then a second later he slowly goes back to finding
a shirt.

Okay then. Try this, it should be long enough for you, if not I have shorts , he says while
throwing me his shirt.

I hold it up to me and its more than long enough, covering all my private parts. I figure Ill
sleep in the robe if I have too.

It should be good. Thanks. Ill just have a shower now. I turn towards the bathroom and
close and lock the door behind me.
How on earth am I going to survive this night? I should be feeling anxious right now, but my
lustful hormones seem to be taking over. He knows Im not wearing underwear. Who knows
what thoughts are dancing in his mind? Besides I almos t let him have me tonight. There
have been too many close calls. I dont know how Im going to get any sleep.

I peel out of my dress and tie my hair up not wanting to get it wet. I hang up the dress and
coat inside the cupboard that is also hanging a robe, slippers and bath towels. I slowly make
my way over to the shower and turn on the tap. Water that feels like rain falling on my body
sprouts from the ceiling. Its one of those fancy rain shower heads and it feels amazing. I
find the bodywash and lather it all over my skin. I feel like Im a floating bubble. I step back
into the shower and let the water wash away all the soap. After a couple of minutes of
standing there enjoying the peaceful, blissful hot water trickle down my body, I step back
into reality and jump out of the shower drying myself off.

I apply the hotels moisturiser all over my body and I suddenly envisage Jase massaging my
skin like this. I quickly shake my head to banish that thought.

Come one Sophie. Hes just a guy and youre a girl. Youve been in the same room with
opposite sex before. Get a grip!

I shakily slip Jases shirt over my body and Im instantly smacked in the face with his smell.
He smells like cologne, soap, and crisp sunny days. Thats the best way to describe how his
shirt smells like. The t-shirt is absolutely humongous; Im practically drowning in the
material. Luckily it covers all the important bits; however I have to remember not to yawn or
stretch in front of him. Thats cutting it too close. I throw on the robe just in case and untie
my hair as I walk out to get into bed.

Jase looks up from the couch surveying my covered body with his sinful eyes. Youre all
done? Is the shirt okay?

Yep everythings all good. Im just going to get ready for bed. I say awkwardly back to him.

Goodnight Sophie he says while pulling the door shut.

Night, I say meekly.

This is going to be one long night.

*******

I wake with a startle at about 4am and notice the pounding in my head. Fear strikes me
immediately until I remember where I am. Im in Jases hotel sleeping in the bedroom next
to him.
I realise just how parched my mouth is and I desperately need some water. I slowly head to
the bathroom where I pick up a glass and fill it under the faucet. I gulp the whole thing
down and decide to fill another glass and get back into bed.

As I walk back into bed I trip on one of my shoes and I go flying face down while the glass
cracks on the bedside table and Im pretty sure Ive landed right into the cracked glass.

Ouch! Shit. I slowly try and get up and search for the light but Jase barrels through door
turning on the light.

Sophie, are youShit what happened, your bleeding everywhere, he says while looking at
my legs and seeing the glass on the floor.

I was just getting a drink of water and I slipped on my shoe and I guess cracked the glass
which cut me.

Dont move. Just sit on the bed and Ill grab a cloth and clean you up. He dashes back to
the bathroom, carefully jumping over the glass and wetting a couple of towels. He comes
back with some towels and immediately starts to wipe the blood off my leg.

You dont have any glass there. Just a few cuts that need to be bandaged up so you dont
keep bleeding, he says inspecting my legs and thighs. He then gets a bandage and wraps it
around my thigh, lifting my thigh up as he wraps it around me.

Yeah I think Im fine. Just some blood and me being silly, I say trying to get out of his grip.

He slowly looks up at me and I stare back down at him. I realise just what a compromising
situation this is. Me on a bed with my legs all exposed and nothing on underneath. Him
kneeling on the floor with just his underwear on looking sexier than ever, holding me by my
upper thighs, his hands so close to my private parts. If he goes an inch higher, its over.

The tension thats been building up between us is at an all-time high. My breathing becomes
shallow and theres a dangerously hungry look in his.

Its now or never.

He stares at me as he slowly lets his hand inch ever so slightly higher, almost asking for my
permission to tell me to stop him.

I should stop him. But Im caught in some weird hypnotic trance where once again, Im the
puppet that will do anything he says.

As he moves the shirt above my most private parts, he moves my legs apart and there I am.

My whole sex is spread apart and probably glistening with how wet, how naughty, and how
turned on I am. He makes a low groan and starts to kiss my hip flexor and down around to
the middle of my thighs, just before my opening. His kisses leave hot trails where ever they
go and my need for him is so strong I have to grip the bed sheets so that I dont pull him
inside me. I moan softly at the feel of his mouth on my body. The mouth that has been
driving me crazy for so long.

He continues his slow torture of kisses all around my thighs and legs and my hips and
stomach, but he purposely leaves the place I need to be touched the most.

I moan softly, to let him know my need. My want.

He quickly pulls away from kissing my thighs and gets up. I almost scream at him for
stopping his beautiful torture. Wordlessly he slips off the t-shirt thats drowning my upper
body which now expose my breasts that are already swollen from my arousal.

But Jase just lingers at every inch of my skin. Its like hes cataloguing every curve, every
freckle.

My god, Sophie, he mumbles under his breath before closing his mouth on one of my
breasts. I can feel him sucking my breast flicking his tongue over and over around my nipple.

He cups my other breast with his hand and kneads it slowly. I feel his whole body pressing
against mine, and even though he has underwear on, I can feel the hardness of his shaft
pressing into my lower abdomen.

He rubs himself slowly on me, grinding his cock on the tip of my clit, sending me wild. I cant
stop the moans escaping my lips. My fingers curl into his hair while he sucks my breasts over
and over again.

Just when I think I cant take anymore, he begins to gently suckle the delicate skin on my
neck and Im done for. Id do anything he says right now. Hes touched my trigger zone and
Im hungry. He moves up to my jaw and then stops to look me in my eyes. His mouth hovers
over mine for just a second before they come crashing down on mine.

There is so much fire, so much passion, and need in the kiss that I dont realise my lips are
bleeding until he starts sucking on my lower lip where I can taste the copper like tang that
blood smells of. He keeps flicking his tongue over mine, controlling me, and taking
ownership of me. My lips feel so bee stung and swollen, but he continues to nip here and
there letting small amounts of blood come out and then sucking them dry.

My clit is almost sore from the throbbing of need for him to touch me there.

Fuck your beautiful, Sophie, he murmurs into my ear. Ive wanted you ever since I laid
eyes on you. And your bodywell you dont know what you do to me, he says with
dangerously hungry eyes.
The desire pooling from below is about to erupt from his possessive words. I take my hand
to try and touch my self but he pushes both my arms up, clasping my writs above my head
with his one hand.

I lay there like prey for my hunter.

He comes down on me again but this time he pushes my knees right back before spreading
them wide apart. Ive never felt more exposed in my life. I wouldnt let anyone do this to
me. But for some reason, I like the way Jase possesses my body.

So completely turned on, I look down to find his face in between my legs gazing into the
opening of where his cock should be right now.

Your glistening baby. You are so wet. I can see all your juices all over your inner thighs.

Im practically panting by now and just when I cant take it anymore, he inserts one of his
fingers into my vagina and I immediately scream out, wanting, needing more.

I pump myself on his finger, fucking it like its Jases dick. Al l I can do is moan. Im not
capable of words at this point.

He inserts another finger and pushes them in and out of me.

I feel a little sore from just his two fingers. But he continues to push his fingers in and out of
me, going as deep as he can go. Thinking hell stop at two, he puts a third, and then a fourth.

Oh my god

I feel like there is a cock in me, yet there isnt. I cant believe I pretty much have his whole
hand in me. And I love it. I feel like so naughty, so terribly turned on that I bounce up and
down on his hand, pumping on whatever he can give me.

Yes baby, take it all. You can fit it all in your tight little pussy, he says gruffly.

He then pulls all of his fingers out and licks each one so slowly, staring me right in the eyes
as he does.

I want to taste you with my mouth Sophie; I want to drink your juices. Let me clean you
up.

His sexually explicit words only get me more heated, and Im dying to have his cock in me. I
need to be fucked my him so bad its driving me crazy.

I then feel his hot mouth clamp down on my clit and I moan so loudly Im sure the
neighbours can hear. Jase puts his entire mouth on my opening and sucks. He moans while
hes down there sucking and nipping and licking my entire pussy.
I can feel the build coming through me and Im on the verge of combusting. I grip the sheets
above my head and tilt my pelvis up as his hands grab my ass cheeks and feasts on my
pussy.

I rub into him and I can feel the pressure building. It starts in my core and pulses out of my
clit.

Oh god, oh god, oh god, Ohhhhhhhhh. And then I moan and scream, I dont know which
because Im coming all over and my body jerks all over the place.

After what feels like an eternity of orgasms I finally settle down and realise my brow is
covered in sweat. I feel beyond satisfied. I cant believe I came just by his mouth.

Jase hovers over me smiling. His underwear is off and I can see his cock sitting upright,
almost pushing his perfectly sculpted abs inside his skin.

I really, really want to fuck you Sophie. You have no idea how much. But Im going to hold
myself back. I dont want tonight to be the night we fuck. I want to see you again, and have
a proper evening, and really take my time with you. Because Im going to fuck you so hard
that itll hurt you, he says with sexual desire in his eyes.

I cant even comprehend what hes saying when I stare at his cock. It is enormous. It is the
thickest, longest, largest dick I have ever seen. There is no way that will ever fit inside me.
And even if it does, Ill probably never be able to walk properly again.

Jase then straddles me but puts his huge cock near my chest. He starts to jerk himself off,
burning holes into my soul with his emerald green eyes.

I dont speak; Im transfixed in this weird state where Im turned on. Its like Im caught in
some weird dark state of mind, thats stirring taboo feelings inside me. Some naughty dark
side of me wants him to come all over me. I want to be marked by him. So I squeeze my
breasts together, smothering his cock with them.

He pushes his cock in between my breasts, and slides it in and out, in the same way hed be
doing my pussy.

Fuck your tits are so big, so supple, and so perky.

He closes his eyes and then stiffens before letting out a loud moan and spilling his milky
fluids all over my chest and breasts.

I feel so turned on from the way he gets so turned on just by looking at me. I have never felt
so wanted, so attractive to someone who I thought was so out of my league. I cant wipe the
giddy smile on my face as Jase wipes me down and kisses me gently on the forehead before
lying next to me and pulling me close to him.
But that smile soon fades.

What have I done?

I know Ive crossed a line I should never have. And as much as I enjoyed it, Im already
wishing it never happened. I know this wont last. It cant. Im still dealing with way too
many issues and he doesnt need this baggage. Because thats what I am- baggage.

Jase runs circles on my skin with his fingertips which start to banish away all the scary
thoughts. Before long, Im falling into a deep sleep in Jases arms.
Chapter 8

I slowly pry my eyes open feeling the sunshine on my face. A lazy smile spreads over me. I
stretch my body out feeling the softness of the sheets and the very comfortable pillow
supporting my head. But the smiley effects wear off fast and I instantly freeze. I suddenly
realise Im not at home. Im not in my bed. Memories of the night before come flooding
back. Jase. Me. Naked.

Oh god. Please tell me it didnt happen.

I slowly get up and turn over. Jase isnt next to me. I grab the robe thats lying on a chair
beside the bed and slowly drape it over me and tie up tightly. I check my phone and see 14
missed calls from Mel and five text messages.

1:20 am: Babe are you okay, I have your keys. Shit Im so sorry. Call me ASAP ill meet you

1:45am: Sophie, are you okay? Damn it woman answer your phone

2:10am Okay seriously, Im going to call the police. Im fucking worried can you please just
at least text me back.

3:00 am: I tried calling Emmanuel; were both worried as fuck. God damn it Sophie, CALL
ME.

I immediately text her back.

Im fine. Sorry I didnt check my phone. Jase let me stay with him for the night. Im fine. All
is good. Ill come past Nates place ASAP and grab my keys.

Two seconds later, Mel responds:

Whhhhhhhaaaaaattttt?!!! JASE? Be there in an hour. Nearly had a search party looking for
you. Fuck. Glad youre okay.

Ha. If only she knew.

I ever so slowly open the bedroom doors and I see Jase. Hes already managed to have a
shower. Hes sitting watching TV, oblivious to the fact that Im standing behind him. I dont
even know what to say to him. He probably wants me gone.

As soon as that thought creeps into my mind, my walls go up. I bury my emotions deep
down. It was one night, I tell myself. I didnt sleep with him. Ill never see him again. Im not
attached to him. Ill be okay.

I decide that Ill just tell him Ill jump in the shower and he can drop me back to mine.
Um hey. Sorry I didnt know your were up. Im just going to have a quick shower. Do you
mind if we can swing past Nates place to grab my keys so I can get home?

Jase slowly turns his head towards me. Eyeing me up and down.

Sure thing. I bought you some shorts and top from gift shop so youd have something to
wear out of here. I left them in the bathroom while you were asleep.

He bought me clothes?

Even if it was as simple as making sure I had clothes, the thought warms me. But I instantly
push them back down. Walls. I cant make this anything more than one night.

You didnt have to do that. But thankyou. Let me know how much it all was and I will give
you the money, I reply.

Dont even worry about it, he says politely.

Without saying anything more I turn back around and head into the shower where I find out
some hotel mini shorts, and a plain white tank. I wash my body rigorously remembering
how he came on my chest. I lather up the bodywash and scrub myself clean from head to
toe. I quickly throw on the shorts and tee and gather my things before heading back out to
see Jase.

He doesnt say anything as he looks my body up and down hungrily. Something dark glazes
over his eyes. I dont know what to say.

Before I take you home, lets go and have breakfast. You must be hungry. I cant let you go
without feeding you, he says smiling.

Um okay sure. Breakfast then home. Sounds good, I reply shyly.

He just smirks at me.

We wordlessly make our way outside the hotel, and down to the pool to eat, and I suddenly
feel Jases hands entwine in mine. I dont want to make a big deal out of it, so I dont
remove my hand and I dont say anything about it.

A girl with the shortest white skirt and blond long flowing hair with legs that go on for days
approaches us with menus. She gives Jase a flirtatious smile and me a filthy look.

What the hell?

Hi Jase, she says a little too personally.

Can I get you anything to drink before you order? she says as if she knows Jase forever.

Ill have coffee thanks Tracey. Soph, what would you like?
Before I can think anymore at how he knows her name and why shes acting so possessive
over him I tell her Ill just have OJ.

As she walks away, Tracey turns back and gives Jase a wink.

No doubt Jase has bedded Tracey. Probably in the same bed I was in. Saying the same things
he said to me. My stomach churns at that though. Already I feel used. And stupid. Of course
hes probably slept with all the workers here.

She seems to know you quite well, I blurt out. Fuck it, Im pissed. I dont care if I sound
jealous. Ill never see the bastard again.

Is someone jealous? he says teasingly.

How this man infuriates me and turns me on at the same time really baffles me.

Just saying, you seem pretty popular, I say laughing it off.

Jase rests his hand on my thigh and squeezes it gently before turning to face me and giving
me one of his drool-worthy smiles. I never intended for last night to go the way it did, but
Im glad it did Sophie.

I dont know how to respond, it was only meant to be a one night thing. I dont want it
progressing anymore. But my body betrays me as I start to get hot just thinking about last
night.

So I want to make good on my promise and take you out on a proper date, he continues.

Tracey happens to drop by with our drinks and brushes her hand across Jases arm before
leaving.

Just another reminder of why Jase is not someone to be getting involved with. Well not with
my heart anyway.

I push Jases hand off me. II dont know, I stammer feeling caught off guard. I dont
know if this is something we should continue. It was one night. Lets just leave it at that, I
say.

My words are a total lie. I want to have another night with Jase; I want to have way more
than one night with Jase. But he will break my heart. Just like Steve. And thats the reason I
need to stay away.

I turn to face him, showing him that Im confident in my decision. He on the other hand
gives me a killer smile, as if I just said something funny.

I dont think one night was enough for me Sophie. I will see you again. Whether you want
to or not, he says with finality.
I dont dare to contest his words.
Chapter 9

Wow. Im actually speechless for once. I didnt realise you had a slutty-kinky side to you.

Its Sunday afternoon and Mel and I are in my kitchen having lunch while I tell her about my
night with Jase, and everything that happened in between. Even the whole almost-having-
kinky-sex-but-not part.

And you havent heard from him since. He hasnt tried to call you. Didnt say anything to
you while he dropped you home from the hotel?

Nope, I say popping some food in my mouth. We just spoke about work stuff. I mean he
said he wants to see me again but then never brings anything up when he drops me home.
He doesnt even try to kiss me. Just a simple see you later and that was it. I dont get him.

Sounds like you developed some feelings for him though? Mel questions.

The truth is I would say no. But after being with him in the way that I have, I guess a slight
attachment has formed. Yeah I like him. But hes not a good guy. And he will only break my
heart.

I guess maybe I do like him a little, and thats only when I let my guard down a little, I
continue on.

Well Im just glad youre okay. Anyways plenty more fish in the sea right? Besides, Im
glad you finally got SOME. But if I was never going to see him again, I wouldve just fucked
him. Otherwise I wouldve been left feeling unsatisfied and everytime I see him- it would be
on your mind, Mel says with her two cents.

I just roll my eyes pretending not to agree, but that last part- well shes right there.

At that exact moment, my phone beeps. I walk over and swipe my phone to see who it is .
From an unknown number.

Im picking you up at 7 tonight for dinner. No Ifs or buts. C u then.

Jase.

My heart kicks up another notch and I have to re-read the message at least three times
before I turn to Mel.

its Jase. Hes taking me out to dinner tonight, I tell Mel. I dont know what to say. He
wont take no for an answer, I say while showing Mel the text.

Wow. Hes totally taking charge with you, she responds while looking at my phone.
Well what do I do? I retort

Not much you can do, babe. Looks like youre going to have a nice meal tonight, she says
emphasising the word meal.

I cant do this Mel. Im way too attracted to him. I dont want to be another notch on his
belt. Im just not ready for this, whatever this is, I say panic stricken.

Sophie Jacobs. If you live your life forever scarred by your past and what Steve did to you,
youre never gonna live baby girl! Youve had your heart broken, but guess what, we all
have! Time to live a little. Maybe this is the guy who will help you move past all that. Why
dont you just enjoy each others company for what it is? Youre not heading into this head
first, your aware of what could happen and the sort of guy he is. It is time to have some
fun.

I decide Mels right. I cant live my life stuck in the past. Whatevers going to happen, will
happen.

I text Jase Back:

You dont leave me much of a choice. Dinner it is.

My phone beeps straight back from Jase:

Its a date.

Well thats done, I tell Mel.

Good, Im glad. I want you to start living a little, she teases

Ha ha, very funny. Anyway come on, I want to head to the gym and get a boxing session in
before dinner tonight. And youre my new sparring partner, I say excitedly.

Mel Just rolls her eyes and groans. Okay okay lets go.

*******

I arrive back at home after my boxing session feeling totally exhausted. Poor Mel, she
copped quite a few punches from me. I couldnt help but think of Jase when she had asked
me how I had learnt to all of a sudden knock her on her ass.

I jump in the shower and quickly get ready for my date tonight with Jase. I dont really feel
like going, and I really need to work on my designs. I consider cancelling but shake the
thought away immediately. I dont want to dog Jase last minute, especially knowing I
wouldnt like it.

Argh what do I wear, I say to no one in particular.

I decide on black shorts, a white fitted tank, and black pumps. I layer my outfit with varying
lengths of gold chains from my jewellery range and my signature red lipstick and diamond
stud earrings. There something about wearing diamond stud earrings and red lippie that
makes me feel dressed up instantly. I swipe on some blush and mascara just as the doorbell
rings. I grab my black blazer and black Prada tote and open the door to see Jase standing
there with the bunch of yellow roses.

My favourite colour and my favourite flower. Oh hes smooth.

I play it cool and cover the giddiness building inside me with a slight smile. Hi Jase, come
in, I say before stepping aside.

He looks absolutely, hands down; probably the most gorgeous Ive ever seen him. Hes
wearing a black long sleeve cotton tank with and dark jeans. And a rather large silver Rolex.

These are for you, he says handing me the bouquet of flowers and kissing me softly on the
cheek.

Thankyou, they are stunning. Roses are my favourite, I say smiling like school girl.

He looks me up and down, taking in every inch of my skin like hes about ready to devour
me again, his green eyes sparkling. You look gorgeous Sophie.

Hes in my personal space and with the way hes looking at me; I know Im going to start
hyperventilating.

I decide to just smile and step around him to the kitchen. I can see Jase smirking from the
corner of his eye, knowing the effect he has on me.

That arrogant bastard.

I grab a vase from the cabinet and fill it with water while Jase walks around inspecting
photos and getting a feel of my place.

You have a nice place here Sophie.

Thanks, Im still re-decorating, but its definitely coming together.

I finish decorating the flowers and place them in the middle of the counter. Okay lets go.

*******

Sitting In Jases Lamborghini, Im invaded by his familiar smell of cologne and crisp white
sunny days. Im fidgety and nervous as hell. The more time I spend with Jase, the deeper I
go into dangerous waters. I know this is not forever. Jase is not a forever guy. Hes someone
you have fun with. You have great sex with. And then you walk away. And Im so damaged
inside; my heart is so broken that he would run a mile anyway.
So where are we going? I ask nervously looking out the window.

I turn back to face Jase who is smiling at me.

Well, I have two options for you. You get to pick one. Ive booked dinner at a restaurant,
trust me, the food is great, and you will love it. The other option is two courtside tickets to
the LA Lakers game tonight, he says holding up two tickets.

A massive smile breaks out on my face. You are kidding me! Howd you get those?

It was nothing. I just wanted to take you somewhere fun, he says laughing.

Well Im impressed Mr Harmon! You did goooood! I say playfully squeezing his arm.

Jase grabs my hand in his and gives it a slight squeeze. Glad your excited Soph.

*******

We pull up to the Staples Centre and now Im wishing I wasnt so dressed up. This is why I
hate surprises. Jase, ever the gentleman, opens the car door for me and helps me out of the
car. I tell him politely that Im fine but hes not having it.

I let go of his hand as soon as I step outside the car, but he gently grabs my hand in his and
entwines his fingers with mine. He gives me a sideways smirk but I just look away. The last
time I held hands with a guy this intimately was with Steve. Holding hands is a foreign
concept to me. Its too intimate. I want to pull away. Because my hands hold my heart. And
as silly as it sounds, giving Jase my hand is like giving him my heart.

Before I have anymore time to let my mind start its usual downward spiral, Im interrupted
by the hundreds of Lakers fans bleeding purple and gold outside the stadium. Cheers and
chants are being taken over and I can feel the competitive buzz in the air. Its hard not to get
excited and caught up in it.

Have you ever been to a game before? Jase asks me as we enter the stadium and walk
down to our seats.

No, never! I cant believe its like this. I mean I see it on TV, but being here does not even
compare to watching the game on TV. Its electric, I say looking around at the throngs of
people, the fans and taking in the music vibrating through my ears.

Well Im glad to be your first, Jase whispers silently in my ear. Goose bumps tingle up my
spine and a shudder ripples through my body as his breath tickles my skin. The sensitivity
only brings back memories of the other night and I have to count to ten in my head before I
turn into a googly-eyed weirdo.

As we take our seats, I spot jack Nicholson a couple of seats across from us. I grab Jase by
the shoulder and quickly whisper in his ear. Tell me thats not Jack Nicolson!
Yeah it is. Apparently Nicholson is such a fan that he has engaged in arguments with game
officials and opposing players, and even walked onto the court.

I look at Jase wide eyed. No way.

Yep, you might even see him in action tonight.

I notice hes still holding my hand when a couple of guys start walking in our direction.

I cant make out the first guy, but the second is none other than Kings of Leon frontman,
Caleb Followill. I assume theyre just going to walk past us. But as they near, Jase gets up.

Hey man, how you going? Jase says smacking Calebs hand in a quick handshake and
giving a quick guy hug.

My jaw drops open.

This cannot be happening.

What you doin here bro, I thought you were in New York? Caleb says to Jase.

I stare wide eyed, going back and forth between the twos interaction, almost like Im
watching a tennis match.

Just looking to buy some property here. Works been crazy up here so I thought Id get a
place, Jase says conversationally back to Caleb.

Again, all I can do is stare. And remember to breathe.

So here alone? Caleb asks Jase

Oh shit.

Actually Im here with a friend, Jase says looking my way.

I look back and see all three men staring at me. I awkwardly get up and go over to shake
hands with Caleb. From Kings of Leon. Cue my first celebrity interaction moment.

Hi, Im Sophie. Im a huge fan of your music.

Oh shit, why would I say that now I sound like a fucking groupie.

Nice to meet you Sophie, and thanks, Caleb says shaking my hand.

Ill send over some backstage tickets to you Jase, you guys better be at my concert.

Yeah sounds good. Ill catch up with you later man, Jase says to Caleb and then sitting
down beside me.

Tell me that just didnt happen, I say star stunned to Jase.

What was that? he says draping an arm around me giving me one of his megawatt smiles
that could make my panties drop.

That you, firstly, seem to be friends with Caleb, the lead singer of Kings of Leon, and
secondly, that he just gave you backstage passes to his concert.

That didnt happen, Jase says deadpan.

Okay, how on earth do you know him? I love Kings of Leon! You guys seem like old
friends!

My company handles the publicity side of things for the band, but Caleb and I have been
friends since we were growing up. His folks knew mine and when things got big with his
band, he came to me.

Wow. I cant believe you have backstage passes to his concert. I say excitedly.

Jase turns to me and gives me a curious smile. You say it like youre not coming.

My heart does a funny flip at this. Does he want me to come with him? I mean I know Caleb
is sending tickets to Jase, but I never assumed Id be going. I mean, I dont even know whats
going on between Jase and I and I dont plan for it to last long. Besides, hes probably got a
million other girls he can take. Why me?

Well, you havent asked me. So I just assumed you would be taking someone else.

Sophie, who else would I take? Jase asks in a serious tone.

I look away from him. This is the part where things get tricky and where I didnt want it to
lead.

Well, you probably have a million other girls you could take, why me?

He looks at me thoughtfully. Almost sad that I asked him that question. Actually
disappointed is a better word.

He grabs my chin with his hand and tilts it up so I have nowhere to look but in his eyes.
Those ones that got me hooked in the first place.

Sophie, Im not dating anybody else, Im not with anybody else, and Im here, with you.
Exactly where I want to be. If you think that other girls flirt with me and its because Ive
been with them, I havent. That Tracey girl you met back at Hotel, shes been at me since
Ive been there. She is nothing. I like you Soph, and I want you to come to the concert with
me. Just me and you.
He says it with such sincerity that I feel ashamed for judging him like that. But I didnt miss
the part where he told me he likes me. And I hate the way that I like that he s aid it. I hate
that I fall for him a little more each time Im with him.

Okay. Thankyou, I say meekly.

Really, did I just thank the guy for the confession he just made? Weirdo!

You dont have to thank me, Jase says laughing. You just have to come with me.

Isnt the concert in the next couple of weeks in New York?

It is. So when you come up for your meeting in New York, you can come to the concert. Its
the perfect timing.

Hes got it all figured out, this guy. I didnt think Id be seeing him tonight let alone in the
next couple of weeks. What am I getting myself into?

Im going to grab us some hotdogs and drinks, Ill be right back, Jase says before getting
up to leave.

Okay see you in bit, I say back to him.

The stadium is packed to the rafters. A sea of gold and purple litter the seats. And Im here
at my very first Lakers game sitting courtside only a couple of seats away from Jack
Nicholson and I have just been invited to the Kings of Leon concert by the lead singer. Im
also here with Jase. The most gorgeous guy I have ever laid eyes on. This is another one of
those moments I will never forget. I know it wont last, this thing I have with Jase. And
maybe thats why I cherish it so much. Why I cherish each moment. Sooner or later, it wi ll
end. Its just a matter of when.

All of a sudden the crowd screams a deafening cheer as the LA Lakers Players walk out onto
the stage. I pull out my phone and take as many pictures as I can of Kobe Bryant. He is no
more than a couple of feet away. I could almost call out to him. Putting my phone back in
my bag, Jase appears with hot dogs and drinks.

This is awesome! I say to him excitedly taking the hot dog and drink off him. I cant
believe how close I am to the players and the energy in here is amazing!

As the game starts, we eat our hot dogs and get into the game. When Kobe Bryant scores
yet another shot and puts the Lakers into a 15 point lead against the Miami Heat, Im on my
feet cheering away with the crowd. Ive never been big on basketball but being here, right in
the hub of it, well how can you not feel the energy rolling off you?

I sit back down, booing when Miami Scores a three pointer.

I take you to one game and you suddenly become the Lakers biggest fan! Who are you and
what have you done with Sophie? Jase asks me at Half time.

I never thought I could get so caught up in basketball! I love it, its amazing being here! I
say beaming.

Jase just laughs at me and gives me a quick side hug. Well Im glad youre enjoying
yourself.

Towards the end of the game I feel like Ive been hanging out with my best friend having the
time of my life. Ive never cheered and jumped up and screamed like a cheerleader and had
so much fun. Actually, this is the third time I have spent with Jase where weve both laughed
so hard. Being with him makes me feel alive again. Like Im breathing clean, fresh air. And I
can feel myself becoming a different person around him. Like a caterpillar shedding its skin.

I dont even notice that Im holding hands with Jase back to his car with our fingers
entwined, walking like were joined to the hip. I feel buzzed. High on life.

As we get into his car, I have the sudden urge to play some kings of Leon. Do you by any
chance have the song Wait for me by Kings of Leon?

Sure, heres my phone, just go through my song list its there in alphabetical order, he
says handing me his phone.

I scroll to the song and let it play. As it comes on, Jase turns up the sound and lets the
windows down, inviting the warm summer breeze to kiss my skin. Jase grabs my hand again
and entwines his fingers with mine during the song, squeezing it gently. I look down at my
hand within Jases and I cant help but smile at him. He smiles back at me as we cruise
towards the beach. I can feel a connection forming between us. One I never saw coming.

The song eventually ends and Jase asks me if Im okay to head to the beach. I nod at him,
not wanting to go home yet. I realise at that moment that Im getting in way over my head.
If I dont want to leave Jases company this early on, it scares me to think what will happen if
I keep seeing him.

So where are we going? I ask as I hop out of Jases car.

Were on the beachside strip where the shops are still open and the beach is right on the
other side.

Thought youd like some ice-cream, and thought we could just go for a walk, he responds
taking my hand in his.

If its possible for my mind to smile, it just did. I feel like a little school girl with a serious
crush on a very gorgeous man. And the best part? Hes with me right now holding my hand
and were getting ice-cream like little teenagers. I breathe in the air, relishing this moment.
His hand. This place. This time. Youd be surprised at how the simplest things make you
grateful and appreciate what you have. When you have such a downward spiral, being
grateful can really pull you out of the hole youre in.

We both get ice cream cones to go before going back to Jases car, leaving my shoes in
there. We then head down towards the beach, treading softly in the sand, with my ice
cream in one hand and Jases hand in the other.

We walk all the way down to the water, where it laps out our feet. I can hear the roar of the
ocean and the waves breaking far out into the distance. I thought it would be a lot darker
and was wondering how we would even make it down to the water, but it seems its a full
moon tonight and its lighting up the beach like a Christmas tree. I couldnt describe a more
perfect image.

The water is delightfully cool, and were in enough were it tickles our feet. I can taste the
ocean air from the salt water that seems to mist my face every time a wave crashes down.

This is nice, I say to Jase in between mouthfuls of ice-cream. I love the ocean. Ive always
wanted a house right on the beach.

We walk slowly along the water every now and then Ill splash around with my feet like a
child would.

Yeah its nice. I love to go surfing first thing in the morning, when its still dark and the sun
is only just starting to rise. Being out there, all the way in the middle of the ocean, its
unreal, theres nothing like it.

I stop dead in my tracks and turn to Jase, Wait, you surf?

Jase looks at me with a smug smile.

I mean, I just didnt peg you as the surfing type, I continue.

Well what kind of guy did you peg me for Sophie?

I realise Im caught in that awkward situation he somehow manages to put me in. Where
hes able to mince my words and Im left standing there gawking at him like a complete
idiot. Or more like a girl who is falling more and more for a guy I shouldnt be.

I justyou seem so put together, serious, calmcollected. Not that guys who surf arent all
those things, but I guesswell I dont know...now I guess I realise how silly it sounds.

Damn it, Im stumbling all over my words.

Jase tilts my chin up with his hand where I have nowhere to look but into those eyes. Those
green eyes that still burn even in the moonlight.
I can be a lot of things Sophie. You just have to get to know me, he whispers.

Hes lips are an inch away from mine and he already has my face cupped on one side with
his hand. I feel that pull, that electric pull where I know Im about to kiss him, where all my
thoughts about running away start fading into the background. Right now, in this moment,
all I can think about his Jases lips moving with mine.

I close my eyes and I feel Jases lips claim mine. This kiss is gentle at first. He kisses me slow,
only using his lips to kiss mine.

He slowly, ever so gently trickles soft kisses down my jaw before nibbling on my neck. With
one of his hands holding the side of my face, he places his other hand on my ass, smashing
me flush against his rock hard body. I feel Jases tongue slide inside my mouth, owning me,
claiming me. I try to take control, try and let him know I want some control, but he
continues his glorious onslaught with his tongue and I let him. I moan out and tilt my head
back, exposing my neck for Jase to consume. And consume he does.

He ravages me with his kisses all over my neck, sucking and biting. Im hungry for so much
more, its like theres a switch hes turned on inside me, and Im ready for him. I kiss Jase
back with all the passion I can muster. I start with his lips, down to his jaw, and then around
to his neck. I can feel his dick harden and begin to tilt upwards. I press further into him,
grinding my pelvis into him, letting him know my need for him.

I feel my shirt being ripped open and Jases mouth sucking one of my breasts. The sheer
pleasure of seeing him on me like that makes me wet.

He pulls away suddenly, before looking back into my eyes. His eyes hungry. Like an animal
just about to attack its prey.

Fuck Sophie, I want you so bad. You have no idea what you do to me. I want to have you.

I cant even begin to form a coherent sentence. All I can do is kiss him back to let him know I
want him just as bad.

Jases hands stroke my breasts and move down my back until he has both hands gripping my
backside, lifting me to him. If we werent fully clothed, he would be in the perfect position
to enter me right now.

I wrap my legs around his waist as he gently lays me on the sand, his body pressing against
mine. His head in my chest, sucking on nipples while he rubs his hard cock against my clit.

But just when I think Im about to get what I want -his hard cock inside of me- Jase stops
moving and kissing me on the mouth. Instead, he kisses me lightly on the forehead before
looking back into my face.

Not here Sophie, not like this, he breathes heavily.

Im panting like a dog, ready for anything, so I have no idea how Jase could be having this
much control. I was basically ready to have sex with him, but he had enough self-control to
stop. What the hell does that say about me?

Okay, I say slowly.

Jase stays in between my legs, almost battling within himself to keep going. Trust me
Sophie, I want nothing more than to be inside you right now, he says looking at me with
hungry eyes. But not here.

He slowly gets up off me and lies next to me, pulling me next to him so that my head is
resting on his chest. His fingers rake up and down the front of my stomach, sending goose
bumps all over my skin.

Were quiet for a few moments. I dont know what to say after that episode and in some
weird way, now that my breathing is under control and my thoughts have become more
rational, Im glad I didnt do it here with him on the beach. Im falling for him and this was
not part of the plan.

I gaze up at the sky and cant help but be in awe at the millions of stars that litter our night
sky. I feel like Im in another world with Jase.

You know I think you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen, Jase says softly to me,
breaking the silence.

Im stunned by his confession. Jase could have any girl he wants, Im far from stunning!

Howd I even get you? he continues, looking down to face me.

I lift my head up to his, seeing sincerity in his eyes. A flash of joy sputters in my heart.
Almost like an electric shock brining my heart back to life.

No, I cant let him in.

But truthfully, I guess I already have. Im only kidding myself now.

And here I was thinking what is a handsome guy like yourself doing with a girl like me I say
softly back to him.

He hugs me closer, kissing the top of my forehead, an endearing gesture that I melt for.

So any brothers or sisters? I ask while drawing circles on his chest

I have one sister. Shes two years younger. She lives over in Europe and she has a little
daughter who is two years old. Her name is Leah and she is adorable he says while flicking
through his phone and showing me an image of her.
He is right, his niece is gorgeous. In the picture, Jase is holding her in his arms giving her a
kiss on the cheek while she is smiling with her hands in the air. Totally happy.

Shes adorable I say giving his phone back. Do you see her often?

I try to fly up every couple of months or my sister comes down. Its hard with work and the
distance but I do all I can for my family.

I smile at this. Under that exterior of steel, Ive seen glimpses of a man that is actually caring
and is a family man.

What about you Sophie, brothers, sisters? Where are your folks?

No brothers or sisters, its just me. My dad left when I was just a kid so its just been me
and mum ever since. She lives here in LA about half an hour from my place. I see her often. I
guess Mel and Emmanuel are the closest things to having brothers or sisters. To me, they're
family.

Jase gives me an earnest look and nods at me. I can tell he wants he wants to ask more
about my family but seems to know better not to press it. I noticed that you Em and Mel
were quite close. You would think Emmanuel and you had some history if you didnt know
he was gay he says smiling.

This makes me laugh. I think youre about the hundredth person who has said that! But no.
Em is like my long lost brother. Thats as far as our relationship goes.

Well at least I have no competition Jase says back

I look at him to see if there is any truth in his words but he just smiles at me. My heart does
funny things when he says stuff like that and I have to catch myself before I start falling
anymore for his words. Because thats what they are words. And this is only a fun time.
Nothing more.

We continue laying there on the beach, chatting about our lives, kissing and making out like
a couple of love struck teenage kids would.

So you have your own marketing firm, howd you manage that I ask. Truthfully, Ive been
judging Jase all this time, assuming hes this or that. And Im assuming that life has been
handed to him on a platter. And I want to know what drove this man to be who he i s today
and just how he got there. Was his parents always rich and life has always been cushy for
him? Or is he a mortal being whos had ups and downs like the rest of us?

I guess my career path was similar to yours. I was destined to do something else, a nd I
guess fate had other ideas he says while playing with my hair and gazing up into the night
sky. MY dad was an alcoholic, so when I was growing up I didnt really see him around. He
was pretty abusive to my mum and he hit me a couple of times. I was playing quarterback
for my high school team and I was selected to play for the major leagues. But my heart was
never in it. I only did it because my dad pushed me so hard to do it. All he cared about was
his son becoming some big star that he could drain money off for his habits. One night after
we lost a game, he drank so much that we got into a fight. He usually would beat me, but
that night I fought back. I hit him so hard that he ended up in hospital. To lay hands on me
was one thing. But to lay hands on my mother, or any other woman, was another thing. And
after all those years, Id had enough. I told my dad to never come back, and at the age of 18,
Ive never seen or heard from him since.

I lay there stunned by Jases confession. I cant believe he grew up with a father like that. I
guess I had been judging him all along. Even though I never had a dad, I didnt know what
was worse, not having one around, or having one who was an alcoholic who would beat up
his family.

Wait, your 30, and you havent spoken or seen your dad in over 10 years?

Yeah. Anyway, I had worked my arse off in high school. One thing I definitely did was study
my arse off. I secretly applied to Harvard, even though my dad wouldve flipped if I perused
a business degree. I realised I always wanted to be working for myself, doing my own thing,
and the opportunity came in such an unexpected way. When I realised I was accepted into
Harvard I was ecstatic. But what was I going to do with a business degree, what did I want to
peruse? Well it wasnt until my uncles car dealership started to go under that I realised. My
uncle and I were close, and he was more of a father to me than me anyone. He took care of
me, and raised me as his own. I couldnt stand him losing his business so I started to
vigorously market my uncles business, doing sales campaigns, and generating so much
noise about the business that eventually word got out and sales started to skyrocket. I
realised I had found my calling and wanted to help other companies that were going under.
Through my uncle, I gained contacts for businesses that werent doing so well and I would
turn things around and all of a sudden their business begin to flourish again. Things then
catapulted and companies that were already established began to contact me to strengthen
their brand. I soon had clients such as Abercrombie & Fitch and most recently, The
Volkswagen Group, hence the Lamborghini that was given tome for free.

I worked and worked tirelessly over the past 10 years and my presence was so strong, that I
have clients all over the US, hence me having an office in both New York and LA.

After listening to Jases upbringing and how he built his company from scratch, I began to
fall for him even more. He had a shitty father, and instead of conforming to what everybody
else wanted him to do, he was man enough to take a stand and go for what he wanted. I
admired and respected him for that. That was one thing about Jase, as much as he had a
nice car and money; you could tell he was the sort of guy who would be the same even if he
lost it all tomorrow. Sure he liked nice things, but it was all superficial. He had depth of
character. I liked that about him.
Wow Jase. I almost feel intimidated from you. I mean you got into Harvard, you worked
your arse off and you built this company which is huge, from scratch. How do you stay so
level-headed?

He turns back to me and hoists me up so that Im straddling him, my arms around his neck
and his arms around my waist. Sophie, firstly, you shouldnt feel intimated from anyone,
let alone me. You should be proud of yourself. You quit a job, a career you were already
embedded in and also took another shot and perused what you wanted. You have landed
deals with some of the biggest buyers in the world. And you couldnt have done that if it
wasnt for hard work and never giving up.

I look into his eyes and my heart almost leaps out to touch his. He has no idea what his
endearing words, are doing to me. I feel like I could get lost in him forever.

You Sophie, are not only stunning, sexy, and incredibly fun, you are driven, smart, and
ambitious. You have dreams and from what I know of you, look like the kind of woman who
wont let anyone bring her down. Any guy is lucky to have you. I should be intimidated of
you, not the other way around.

Before he can finish, I kiss him. His words mean more to me than he will ever know. I dont
know with one hundred percent certainty if he is telling the truth, whether he is genuine
because I have some major trust issues, but my gut tells me he is. And not one man has ever
uttered the words Jase has to me. Words I thought I would never hear from a man I could
be falling for. Is it possible to start falling in love with someone only after a couple of
encounters? I dont know, but this feeling I have with Jase, Ive never had it before. I just
dont know if Jase feels the same way.

I break this kiss by pulling away, knowing that if I continue, neither one of us will be strong
enough to stop where its only destined to go.

I lean my forehead against Jases and close my eyes. God how I wish this could last forever.

I can feel Jase stroking the side of my face with his palm and when I look into his eyes,
theyre filled with unidentified emotion.

Sophie, why does the charity mean so much to you? I know you and Emmanuel started a
foundation together, but what made you do it?

This wasnt something I was ready to reveal to him. This is what would make him run.

I look up into his eyes and realise that if Im going to take risks, then thats going to have to
begin with trust. And I guess better to tell him now, because if I get any deeper, Ill be
gutted if he walks away.

I take a deep breath and look off into the distance, not able to look into his eyes as I tell him
about my past.
Growing up was pretty tough for me. We didnt have much money, we barely had enough
for food, and there were times mum never ate just so I could. Anyway, the kids were pretty
mean about, and I was picked on a lot. I was kicked and spat on a lot, a lot of them calling
me ugly and they paid out me out, a lot.

One of the guys during my years tried to rape me in a house party, he had locked me in the
bathroom and backhanded me over and over but luckily I was able to get away after his
girlfriend caught him.

During those years, I never told anyone what happened not even my mum and as I was
already a fairly anxious person. But the situation with that guy who tried to rape me set off
my anxiety to another level and I had severe panic attacks and I couldnt seek help because I
didnt know what was happening to me and I was so afraid.

I then moved to LA with my mum and I met my first boyfriend. He was really controlling and
called me a lot of names. I basically thought he was my life. Anyway, after a year of being
with him, I caught him in bed with another woman. I had another meltdown, falling into
severe depression, and the incident triggered my anxiety up to a whole new level, I say
with sadness in my voice and to ensure Jase doesnt think Im a complete freak. But as I look
back into Jases face, I see a mixture of anger and concern. Its like I knocked the wind out of
him. But I continue on.

Anyway, so I had therapy and I knowing how awful I felt, I never wanted anyone to suffer
like did. So Em and I together started the Star Foundation to help those with anxiety and
depression. I dont suffer from depression anymore, but I do get the occasional panic
attacks and I do suffer from social anxiety because of the past. I feel guilty a lot of the time
for feeling this way because there are people who have been through a lot worse and they
seemed to cope okay. I guess I just didnt have the coping mechanisms in place, I finally
finish.

Jase cups both sides of my face and kisses me softly on the lips. Soph, I never knew. You
seem like youre so put together I would never have known.

He looks away suddenly. Fuck. I cant believe you went through that, and If I ever see your
ex or that bastard who nearly raped you, I would make them pay Sophie. No man, no-one
should ever do what was almost done to you, he says with his voice filled with disgust.

Its okay Jase, I say softly to him.

He looks back at me with anger in his eyes. No Sophie, its not okay. Youre such an angel, it
makes me sick to know you went through that, he says fisting his knuckles.
I decide the best thing to do is probably just go home. There was a reason I didnt want this
conversation happening, and its ruined everything.

We should get home, I whisper gently to him.

Jase nods and hoists me up as we begin our walk back to the car.

Finally, after the many encounters I have had with Jase, this was the first night I really
opened up to him and it was the first night I really caught a glimpse into his life, into whom
he was and who he is becoming.

He still kept certain things private, like certain parts of his private life- but I had a clearer
picture of who he was. What I knew for sure though, was that there was a lot more about
him that he wasnt telling me.

I just had no idea how deep and dark those secrets ran.
Chapter 10

As we drive back to my place, Im left to decide whether I should invite Jase inside. Hes
been awfully quite since our last conversation and Id hate for things to end this way. I
question maybe if I should invite him in, to try and lighten the mood.

If I do- does he think Im going to sleep with him? Well of course he would. But do I want to?
Well yes I do. But Ill just keep wanting more. And I know hes heading back to New York
soon. So Im not sure what Im to do.

My feelings for him have grown to a level where I dont want to say goodbye. Hes like a
drug that makes me feel good and I keep saying Ill stop but just like an addict, I never do.

Before I can think anymore, I realised weve arrived at my apartment. And Jase has already
hopped outside. I unbuckle my belt slowly and find Jase on my side opening the door for
me. I smile up at him while he grabs my hand and walks me to my door. I begin to grab the
keys from my bag and stop at my door, fidgeting with my keys.

Fuck, what do I do?

Before I get a chance to say anything, Jase grabs my face and tilts my chin up to him. I had
a really great night with you Sophie. I really want to see you again if you would let me, he
says with a sly smile, this time giving me permission to say no. Do I want to say no? Or do I
want to say yes? My mind is so muddled that I do the one thing that I never thought Id do.

I invite him in.

*******

Do you want something to drink? I ask nervously almost knocking all the glasses over in
the cabinet.

Waters fine, thanks.

I grab an unopened bottle of water from the fridge and hand it to him, my hands shaking. I
really dont know what I got myself into. Im nervous as hell. Im torn between letting him
have his way with me and kicking him out.

I see him picking up picture frames, but he stops at the one of me and my mother.

Your mum looks so young. You guys look so similar. Shes very pretty, he says to me while
holding the frame.

Thanks. Shes a great woman.

Jase continues to walk around and I decide sitting is too much for me rig ht now. Im too
panicked and fidgety to sit still. I decide to go back to the kitchen and grab a glass of water.
Somehow having a glass of water then turns into me unpacking the dishwasher.

Unpacking the fucking dishwasher. Oh my god.

Jase notices my very strange behaviour. Um Soph, do I bore you that much that you have
to unpack the dishwasher?

Well of course not, who doesnt unpack their dishwasher when a very hot guy is in their
apartment and the sexual tension is at an all-time high?

Oh ha, I didnt even realise I was doing that. Habit I guess.

Liar.

Jase walks slowly towards me, clearly noticing my uncomfortableness and nervousness.

He places his hands on either side of my waist, towering over my tiny frame.

If you want me to go, just say so. You look really nervous. I dont want you to be afraid of
me. Im not going to do anything you dont want me to, he says softly to me, his eyes
burning into mine.

You would think I would smile and say thanks and give him a kiss and leave it at that. But
Jase makes me do crazy things, or more so, my body does crazy things at the sight of Jase.

Instead I say the first thought that comes to mind. Im just really attracted to you and I just
want you to kiss me already.

Oh my god. Did I just say that?

I immediately feel my face begin to warm up; actually it feels so hot you could fry an egg on
it. How I wish I could turn back time and just take back those words. Oh how I wish I could
jump into a small hole right now.

But Jase just smiles at me and moves his hands between my face before he speaks. I would
like nothing better to kiss you right now, he says before slowly bringing his lips onto mine.

As soon as his lips touch mine, all the anxieties and fears I had earlier go flying out the door.
Its like I can focus again.

His lips slowly kiss mine, and I part my mouth slowly to allow his tongue to entwine with
mine. One of his hands slowly trail down the length of my body, grazing ove r my breast and
resting on my ass. He begins to palm my ass, kneading it and working his magic to show his
need for me. I pull him tighter to me, holding him so close that my breasts squish up against
his chest.
His mouth begins to kiss down my jaw before landing on the sweet spot on my neck where
he begins to bite, suck and nibble. My legs instantly part and a warmth has enveloped my
stomach all the way down to the middle of my legs.

Jase then pulls both his hands to my ass and rubs his very hard dick against me, grinding into
my sex, showing me just how turned on he is. There is nothing civil in the way were kissing
anymore. Were kissing and nipping and biting like animals.

Realising that Im pushed up against the kitchen bench, I brace myself against the ledge,
almost needing to be pulled up with my legs spread and Jase in between them. As if hearing
my thoughts, Jase grabs both my ass cheeks and plonks me right on the bench. Its the
perfect height where he can enter me. I bring my legs up and around him while he slowly
slides his hand up top. I rip off my jacket, sending it hurling onto the floor. Jase continues to
lean into my neck, kissing it so delicately, making me arch my back and push my breasts into
him, my upper torso curved in a C shape.

Together we pull my top and bra off before Im left sitting with my breasts exposed. My
nipples instantly harden at having them out and Jase cups one in his hand and sucks on the
other. I begin to moan and grind into his dick which only makes me more wet. Im wild and
free and turned on and I couldnt care about a thing. All I want is him in me. Fucking me so
hard that I dont think about him anymore.

Wheres your room? he says in a deep voice while sucking my breast.

Im panting so hard, its almost impossible for me to form coherent words. Second room
down the corridor.

Jase picks me up and walks me over to my bedroom, kicking the door open and placing me
gently on the bed before crushing his weight over mine. The feel of his body only turns me
on more. His all toned muscle and his hands are working my body like magic.

Somewhere through all the kissing, my clothes have all come off. Realising that Jase still has
his on, I sit up and push him down on my bed, taking off his shirt, jeans, and slowly taking
his underwear off. Seeing his cock again shocks me. The sheer size and thickness of it is
huge. I dont think I could ever get used to seeing it. I dont think anyone could.

All I want to do is have that in me, but I also want to taste him, the same dirty way he tasted
me. Normally I wouldnt, but Jase makes me become another woman. Like I have an alter
ego.

Jase begins to get up to grab me back down and kiss me, but I just push him back.

I kiss his neck, slowly working my way down his stomach. I look up into his eyes, and they
are burning with such intensity that I feel like Im the most attractive woman on the planet.
He continues to watch me all the way, and I keep my eyes open the whole time while I bite
and nibble and suck his torso and lower stomach. He has his hands in my hair, massaging it
slowly while ever so slightly he moves his lower torso up to my face, showing me just how
ready he is.

And I can see just how ready he is, his cock is so far upright its almost bending backwards. I
smile at him while I kiss in between his legs, just grazing over his balls.

Fuck Sophie, your killing me he growls

Same gorgeous pleasure you gave me, Im, giving you sweetheart.

Finally, I let the torture stop and position my mouth over his huge cock. I look up at him one
last time before I let my mouth descend on him. His eyes are the most intense shade of
green, practically screaming at me to fuck him.

I close my mouth around his cock and work my tongue over and around his head and then
back down his shaft. I really get his dick wet, covering it with my saliva as I continue to suck,
bob, and swirl.

I do this over and over while I grab his balls in my hand and massage them gently. I then
close my hand over his dick and work them up and down his shaft while I place one of his
balls delicately in my mouth licking and sucking ever so gently.

Fuck Sophie, Im not going to last like this baby, he growls again.

Its true. Hes thrusting his dick into me and I can feel his dick harden, and I know he is on
the verge. I quickly grab his dick back in my mouth and suck.

He grabs my hair and pulls it back, to try and stop me from sucking him, like hes trying to
hold out, but I love the power it gives me knowing I can make him come any second.

I pull forward and suck so deep, letting his dick touch all the way in the back of my throat.

Baby, Im going to come in your mouth, Im about to come, FUCK! he screams.

I feel the warm liquid fill up my mouth and I let bits of his liquid dribble at the side of my lips
for Jase to see. He continues to come from seeing the image of him coming on my face and
when hes done, I grab some tissues from my nightstand and wipe my mouth down.

I come back up and look at him to see if hes satisfied. He looks at me slightly stunned, like
he cant believe I just did that.

Fuck Soph, that was incredible, he says still panting. If thats what your mouth feels like
on my dick, I cant wait to have your pussy on it.
Its just payback from last time. Stay here, Ill be right back, I say jumping from the bed
and heading straight to the bathroom.

I quickly grab mouthwash out of the bathroom cupboard and take a gulp, swishing it around
my mouth before spitting it back out. I also grab some face cleanser and give my face a
quick wash. The last thing I want to do is head back out there and smell like his come.

After my quick five minutes, I turn back to my bedroom to find Jase asleep in my bed
snoring away ever so softly.

Great.

I decide not to disturb him and instead turn off all the lights in the house and get into bed
next to Jase. In so many ways, this was not the way I had tonight planned. And I certainly did
not expect Jase to be asleep. But life, as it turns out, can throw you many curve balls.

Giggling soflty, I lay a blanket over Jase and tuck myself into bed next to him falling into a
deep sleep.
Chapter 11
Jase

I wake and look over to see Sophie asleep in my arms. The sunlight is pouring through her
window; I mustve slept throughout the whole night here with her. Shit, did I fall asleep after
she went down on me? FUCK. I cant believe I did that. And she didnt even wake me. FUCK.

Ive never met a woman who has me so sexually turned on. Usually, Id meet a girl, and just
fuck her. I wouldnt even let her stay the night. No fucking way, id kick her out by telling I
have to be somewhere real early in the morning.

Yeah I am asshole. But I dont ever want another woman thinking Im some fucking hero.
Because Im not. Id rather them hate me. I dont want them to develop feelings for me. Just
a quick no fuss fuck, and then Im on again with my life. I dont do relationships.

Well not anymore.

Not after Sarah

Fuck. I cant think about that. I cant think about her.

I look back at Sophie and I know that she has me. Im starting to fall for this girl. And I cant
stop it. How did this even happen? Why did I keep perusing her knowing I dont do
relationships? Sophie is a sweet girl, the most stunning one I have ever laid eyes on.

Ever since the first time I laid eyes on her I was blown away by her exquisite beauty. Sure Ive
met beautiful girls, but Sophie isnt like any other girl. I cannot take my eyes off her. She is
the most beautiful looking woman I have ever seen. Fuck any supermodel; fuck any girl Ive
ever dated. Bar none she.is.it. If only she knew it. The way other guys stare at her. They way
other girls even stare at her. Here she is telling me Im the attractive one. Ha, if only she
knew.

But its not just her beauty. There is something so mysterious about her, so kept, so hidden. I
noticed it even more when she was at the charity event. And she asks me why I donate
money to the event. Does she think Im just that shallow, to throw around money at any
charity? The charity means more to me than shell ever know

I knew the charity meant something to her and now I know. I cant believe she grew up with
that life. I cant believe another guy laid hands on her and forced himself on her. And I can
believe her dickhead ex did that to her.

When she told me the story I wanted to go find both those guys there and then and beat
them to a pulp. What kind of animal does that to a woman? FUCK. I was ready to kill when
she told me what happened. All I could see was red, but she was able to calm me. I dont
know how she did that.
Ill kill anyone who even dreams to touch her like that. Sophie is an angel. I have to protect
her.

She has a million walls up, but she is as down to earth as they come. Theres some vibe she
gives off that makes you see she doesnt care about any of the materialistic bullshit. She has
substance. Shes real. She has depth of character alright.

Fuck. I dont even know what this is. Am I having feelings for her? Fuck. I dont even do
feelings. I just do sex. But theres this animalistic urge to claim Sophie as mine. And in ways
that are so explicit, it just makes my dark hard thinking about it.

Ive never seen an ass so plump and smooth. Never seen breasts so naturally large on such a
tiny frame. And those exotic features. Oh my god.

I thought I could walk away. But as soon as she let her guard down and danced with me that
night at the charity event, I could finally see the light in her. The glow, the warmth that she
keeps hidden. It was beautiful to see. When she smiles I swear she could light up a fucking
Christmas tree. I wish she would let her guard down more. I can tell she has trust issues. Who
could blame her after what those fuckers did to her.

And Im pulled to her. Like a moth to a flame. I dont do relationships, fuck I dont even get
jealous. But just seeing another guy look at her makes me burn. What the fuck is that
anyway. Does she even know how hard my dick gets around her? Does she even know the
effect she has on me? She brings me to my knees.

Maybe Ill be able to walk away. After all, I leave in two days. I wont ever see her again.
Shell find someone else. What troubles me, is that I know Sophie is a good girl. I know what
she did with me tonight, is not something she does with just anyone. She isnt the type to go
home with a random guy. I can tell. Ive been around girls long enough to spot the
difference.

I dont want to hurt her, but by staying longer with her, Ill just continue to hurt her. And Id
rather walk away now before either of us gets in too deep. But I cant. I cant seem to walk
away. What the fuck am I doing?

What would Sarah think?

Chapter 12

I feel something stir beside me pulling me close and trapping me. I immediately go into
panic mode and my eyes fly open.

I feel muscular arms wrapped around me in a protective grip and I realise Im in Jases arms.
I immediately feel a surge of relief, and my heart rate slowly starts to beat at an even pace.

Hey babe, murmurs a deep sleepy voice. You okay? You seemed a bit startled there for a
minute, I thought you were having a bad dream.

I turn around and face Jase, and damn, he looks even sexier in the morning. Plus hes got
that rugged deep sexy voice thing happening that guys get and they sound damn good. His
eyes are still half closed but the green in his eyes still have their hypnotic effect.

I just forgot you were here. I was wondering why there were some guys arms around me,
I say quietly.

Some guy? he says tickling me as I giggle and try to squirm out of his grasp. I would like
to think Im not just some guy.

Im practically in tears from all the giggling from his tickles.

Okay okay sorry- I didnt mean it that way, I say half screaming, half giggling

Jase stops his little torture and put his hand on the side of my face, tucking loose strands of
hair behind my ear. His eyes have softness in them that dont stop searching into mine. I
didnt mean to fall asleep last night on you Soph, I plan to make that up to you if you let
me, he says kissing me softly on my lips. And what you did was amazing, I g et hard just
thinking about it.

I cant help but smile back and get a little turned on. He makes me feel like a little crazed
schoolgirl with one serious crush. Or a kid in a candy store. Thoughts of it not being forever
and him leaving slowly start to creep into my mind but I push them away, living in the
moment, revelling at having this gorgeous god in my bed. I will probably never have him like
this again.

Well Mister, what do you have planned today? I ask boldly

Who am I? Im morphing into some sexual, confident woman. You know, like normal
females.

Actually funny you ask me that, he says while giving me a quick kiss on the forehead. I
want to take you surfing.

I look him and burst out laughing. Seriously? Surfing?

Youre kidding right?

No Soph, Im not. Come on lets head to the beach and make a day of it.

I bite my lip realising all the work I have to do on my designs before I head to New York.

I guess I could, I have a lot of work to do though and I really need to get that done.

He ponders this for a moment.

Okay. Ill tell you what. Its still early. Why dont I come by lunchtime and get you, that way
youre free to get your work done in the meantime? he says with that killer smile.

He looks so excited to take me out again and I never thought I would honestly see him
again. But as life has it, it keeps throwing me curveballs. Besides I dont want to say no. I
want to see him again. I know Im stepping into dangerous territory here. I know Im
developing strong feelings for him. And Im sinking deeper and deeper in this crazed state
and soon Ill be in so deep that Im not sure Ill know how to get out. Because the only way
this is going to end is with me alone and a broken heart.

I turn back at him, realising that Im headed for the dangerous seas. I may think Im halfway
there, but truth be told, Im already there. I should walk away. But I dont. Against my better
judgment, I smile and nod at him, agreeing to spend the day in his arms again.
Chapter 13

At 11 am I stretch and yawn, turning my tired and bleary eyes away from my computer. Ive
finished my new summer range for my jewellery line in time for New York and only just
finished posting them onto my website.

I breathe in the coffee thats sitting next to me and take a huge gulp of my syrupy liquid. Im
a sucker for a good coffee, I love them aromatic smell it has, like its invigorating all of your
senses.

The doorbell suddenly rings and I feel a little perplexed as to who could be at the door.

Coming! I yell out

Im waiting, yells back a deep male voice.

Emmanuel. Shit!

I take a deep breath before I open the door. How on earth am I meant to get ready within
the hour with Emmanuel here when Jase is about to rock up? I havent even told Em about
Jase and he is going to be seriously pissed to know Ive been getting cosy with his client.

Hey Em! I say as in my best actress voice as I open the door.

Hey yourself gorgeous. By the way, you look wrecked. Have you slept? he says before
barging into my kitchen and pouring himself a coffee.

Oh Ive just been up early this morning finishing off my designs so theyre ready in time
before we head to New York.

I see, he says while sipping his coffee and staring at me sceptically.

I can tell he can sense Im up to something. Thats the thing with Em. Theres no hiding
anything. He has a knack for people who arent telling the truth.

What? I ask feeling like I got caught with my hand in the cookie jar. Do you want to see
my designs; is that what you came all the way here for?

Em puts his cup down and leans against the bench with his arms folded. He has a serious
look on his face and doesnt seem to be pleased. In fact, he looks like a lawyer ready to
interrogate a witness.

Sophie Jacobs. I have known you for seven years and I know everything about you. And you
know I do. So I can tell when youre hiding something from me. So Spill.
I fidget. I pull my hair into a pony tail and walk away from him, pretending to look for a hair
tie. Anything except looking him in the eye. I cant lie to Em anymore.

Exasperated, and maybe just so tired from working and the lack of sleep, I decide to tell him
the truth.

I tell him everything from the night I first met Jase, to our boxing session, to the masquerade
ball, how I ended up in his hotel that night (minus all the sexual stuff of course), to seeing
him last night and how he stayed over, and how Im seeing him again today.

I cant even look at him while I tell him the truth. I look to the floor and continue to stay that
way, ready to be scolded by him. Like a parent would to a child for lying.

Sophie, look at me sweetie.

I look up at Em surprised to a huge smile on his face.

Youre smiling? I ask in disbelief.

Em walks over and gives me a big bear hug. He pulls back before speaking to me. Sophie, I
dont care if youve been seeing Jase all this time. In fact, I knew something was going on
from the masquerade ball.

But how? I interject

One word, Frederick.

I roll my eyes at that. Of course I shouldve known better when Frederick caught me and
told me his lips were sealed. Hes the biggest gossip queen I know. Argh.

Honey, I havent seen you this happy inwellI havent seen you this happy ever! Look at
you, your glowing! Okay okay, you look tired today and you look like you need about a
weeks worth of sleep, but you look happy, and thats the main thing. To see my girl happy.

Tears well up in my eyes. I dont know how Em does this to me. He always brings me happy
tears.

Why are you crying babe?

I wipe the tears away with my hand and try to calm myself down before I speak. I just
really really like him Em. And it was only ever meant to be a one off thing with him, you
know some fun. But then things catapulted and he makes me feel alive again Em. This
gorgeous successful man who treats me so well makes me feel alive, like I can breathe
again. Like I have hope again. Like I can believe in love again. Tears continue to stream
down my face.

So then whats wrong? He asks concerned.

Its not going to last Em. Im fooling myself. Im only ever going to get hurt again. Jase is not
the guy who does relationships, and have you seen him? Hes absolutely hands down
gorgeous, the way girls look at him, and I have to wonder why hes even wasting his time
talking to me. He will probably drop me so hard and fast once hes in New York. But I dont
want it to end. Because I love being with him. And its so hard to walk away. Because In this
short time, Ive started to fall for him Em. And Im scared out of my mind. Inside, Im so
scared he is going to break my heart.

Oh Soph, come here.

Em hugs me and kisses me on the forehead before stroking my hair.

Sweetie, Jase is a great guy. Ive known him for a good couple of years. I may not know him
in the intimate way you do, but from what I do know, hes a sincere, genuine guy. Yes hes
gorgeous. And lucky hes not gay because I wouldve snapped him from you, he says
chuckling. But youve got to take a chance in life. Look how happy you are. Its okay to be
falling for him and be scared. I know you have had your heart broken and you went through
hell just to recover. But youre stronger than you know. You are a damn fine looking woman
who is smart as hell. Whatever is going to happen between you two will happen. You cant
change the course of whatever outcome is meant to be. So just let it be. Just have some fun
for once and stop taking things so seriously. If your falling for him, then so be it! If it doesnt
work out- again, so be it. The point is, you cant stop living your life. You know this!

I step away from him and wipe my eyes, heading to the kitchen counter and splashing cold
water on my face. I take a deep breathe in, and slowly breathe out.

I think about what Em has just said and realise he is right. For the first time in a long time,
Ive been happy. Really happy. And its because of Jase. And its true, he could break my
heart. But Im tired of living this way. Im tired of not allowing myself to be happy. Anxiety
and panic attacks dont exist when Im around him. Its like my mind is free.

Youre right Em. You are so right. I have been living my life in fear, I gotta let that go, I say
smiling back at him.

Okay thats my girl. Now you better go have a shower and get ready because you have
about thirty minutes before he arrives.

I walk Em to the door and give him a kiss on the cheek before he leaves.

Oh and Soph? Em says pausing at the door.

Yes?

If he does break your heart, I will kick his arse. Client or no client.

I give Em another hug and send him on his way. He makes me laugh.
 *******

The doorbell rings and Ive had all about 10 mins to shower, and get dressed.

Ive decided to wear denim cut-off shorts and a figure hugging white tank top that shows off
my cleavage. Ive chosen to wear a red string bikini underneath.

My hair is in its natural state, its left out long and wavy and Ive only applied a bit of blush
and lip gloss to my face. If hes going to leave and go back to New York and I only have a
limited time with him, I might as well enjoy it and show him what he will be missing.

I rush to the door but gather my composure before opening. I take a deep breath and pull
the door open and find Jase standing there in board shorts and a simple white v neck t-shirt.
Hes wearing aviators and he looks damn fine too.

Before I can even invite him in, he takes off his sunnies and slowly lets his green eyes trace
my body. He doesnt say a word, he just stands there, looking at me like Im a piece of meat,
something so tasty that he cant wait to devour. I can see the hunger in his eyes. It makes
me feel empowered. I like that Ive got his attention.

Deciding to play along with this silent game, I turn around and bend down in front of him,
gathering my beach bag and sunnies. I purposely dont bend my knees (thanks to my
flexibility in Yoga), I stick my ass out showing him everything he would be missing, and
everything he could take. I slowly turn back around and see Jases hand is leaning against
the door frame with a seductive smile on his face.

Ready to go? I ask innocently as I push past him and walk towards his car.

He doesnt say a word, he just follows me from behind, and I know where his thoughts and
his eyes are.

I dont say a word either; I just smile at that fact that I got him right where I wanted him.

As we get into the car, I reach over to fasten my seatbelt but Jase stops me. We still havent
spoken a word to one another and the sexual tension between us is soaring through the
roof.

Jase clamps his hand over mine, and slowly, and gently, grazes he hands over my breasts,
down to my stomach, before clicking the belt in place. I turn to look at him with a confused
expression on my face, but Jase is looking at me like hes ready to jump me.

Sophie, you dont need to pull any moves on me to try and get me hard, he finally
concedes.

Okay, I manage to breathe out.

But if you pull a move like that again, the one where you bent over in front of me and
showed me that glorious ass of yours, I will have no option but to fuck you right there and
then. And believe me, I am going to fuck you. And you are going to remember it, he says
with finality before starting up the engine and driving towards the beach.

You do look gorgeous in case you didnt know, he says smiling at me before taking my
hand. I smile back and entwine my fingers with him.

The windows are down and the sun is out and its one of those beautiful Californian days.

This is where I belong. Here with Jase.

As we pull up the beach, Jase holds my hand as we walk down across the sand. We lay down
our towels and strip off. I can see Jase staring at me the whole time I get undressed.

You know, that bikini is going to get you into trouble, he says playfully.

I have no idea what youre talking about, I respond in an innocent voice.

Oh dont play coy with me Sophie. You know exactly what Im talking about.

I cant help but laugh. Jase knows me pretty well already and hes not shy to call me out on
it. I really like that about him.

So we have no boards, how are we going to surf? I ask.

Actually, a couple of my friends are headed down now. Theyll be bringing a couple of
spares for us. I told them there will be a rookie with us today, he says with a slight smirk on
his face.

Ha ha Jase.

Come here, he says before pulling me into a hug. He gives me a quick kiss on the
forehead. That damn endearing kiss that means so much to me, that I wish hed stop. I
missed you.

My heart flutters at his words.

You missed me? But you only just saw me this morning, I say with a huge grin on my face

Jase doesnt respond, he just kisses me. Claiming me again with one of his passionate kisses.
The ones I get lost in. The dangerous ones where our hands go wandering and we forget
were in public places.

GET A ROOM, two male voices yell out.

Startled by the noise, I quickly pull away from Jase but he keeps a firm grip on my waist,
holding me to him.
Nice of you girls to finally show up, he says to the two very hot guys walking up to us.

They are both built of pure muscle and are almost as tall as Jase.

One has curly brown hair and brown eyes. The other has a shaved head with blue eyes. He
kind of reminds me of Kelly slater. They are both extremely good-looking. If I hadnt met
Jase, I would be staring at them no end, but Jase is just that little bit taller, that little bit
better looking, has that little bit more muscle, and finally, he has the X factor. A quiet
confidence about him, and the most intense piercing green eyes that would make any girl
weak at her knees, no matter what other good-looking guy was around.

Were here Harper, calm down, says the Kelly Slater lookalike.

Soph, this is Adian, pointing to the brown haired guy, And this, he says pointing to the
Kelly Slaters twin, is Daniel.

Nice to meet you both, I say shaking their hands. They look at me inquisitively, sneaking
looks at Jase at the same time.

You said you were bringing a rookie, not a fine ass girl, Daniel says to Jase.

I blush. Daniel laughs. Jase doesnt seem impressed. Yeah well this fine ass girl is with me.
So paws off boys.

Wow. Thats the first time Jase has declared anything about us to anyone. Im once again,
shocked.

So heres the board for the rookie, Daniel says handing me one very long ass board.

I cant ride this - This thing is huge! I exclaim.

They all crack up laughing. Dont worry baby, thats what all the girls say a bout me, Daniel
says back to me still laughing.

I realise then just how my words sounded.

Mind out of the gutter boys! I laugh back.

Shes a funny one, Aidan says to Jase.

Jase give me a quick kiss on the forehead and I notice Daniel and Aidan exchange a quick
glance between each other.

Daniel does a pretend cough to break up the intimacy between Jase and I. As much as Id
love for you two lovebirds to continue playing love stories, were here to surf. You can bang
each other later.

I blush at his words but Jase just laughs. Do these guys have a filter?!
Anyway Sophie, have you surfed before? Aidan asks me

I can get on the board, but each time I try to stand up I always lose balance and fall off .

Okay when we get out there, well all watch how you go and figure out why youre messing
up, so stay with us.

Got it, thanks Aidan

We all grab our boards and paddle out into the ocean, past the swimmers and in waters
deeper than Ive ever been in before. I guess its the perfect metaphor for my life right now.
The waves are massive here and Im slightly terrified.

The waves are massive here, I think Im out of my league here, I yell out to the other guys.

Jase paddles up to me. Soph, if you feel uncomfortable, we can head back to somewhere
where its shallower and you can try surfing there.

I look at him and see the worry in his face. I dont want to ruin his time out with the guys
just because of me so I shake my head and tell him Ill be okay.

You sure babe?

I notice its the first time hes ever used the word babe to me.

All good, promise, I say back to him.

In actual fact, Im terrified.

A few waves go past, and after about five minutes of being a chicken, I decide to take a risk
and take the next wave.

Come on Sophie, take this one! Aidan yells out to me.

I look behind me and see the wave coming and building up speed, I start paddling quickly,
and I can feel its almost time for me to jump on my board and stand up.

It took me a good couple of months of knowing when to try and stand up on a board, but its
all about momentum. If you try to jump and stand on the board too early, you risk being
knocked off. If you go too late, you wont have enough momentum to stand up.

I feel the momentum building from the wave and hop onto my board, knees bent, one foot
in front of the other. Im only half standing riding the wave and Im on for about two
seconds before Im knocked off by the wave.

I go crashing down into the ocean floor. Im only under for a couple of seconds, holding
myself down until I can see the white froth above me as clear up. You should always be
aware of that, because if you go up too early, you will just get pounded by another wave
and risk drowning.

As I slowly come back up for air, I look around and see Daniel a few feet away from me.

You okay? he asks

Yeah, Im good. Did you figure out why Im falling off?

Yeah we all noticed why. Even though youre keeping one foot in front of the other, you
need to keep them wider apart. Thats what will give you more control and more range of
motion to manoeuvre your board. Kind of like a skateboard. The further apart you keep
them, the easier it will be. Once you fix that up, you will feel more confident standing up. It
almost looks like your anticipating falling off.

Geez, story of my life on that last sentence.

Okay thanks, I say back to him

He gives me a smile and paddles back out with the other guys who are already catching
waves.

I spot Jase further out and I can see him riding one massive wave. He looks like a surfing
god. How he manages to catch those massive waves with such ease bewilders me.

After hes finished his ride, he paddles over to me.

Wow that was amazing Jase. Youre a pro! I say excitedly to him

Years of practise, he says with water dripping from his hair into his eyes.

I want to brush the droplets away, but I stop myself, scared that it might freak him out.

I love it out here, I dont know why I dont do this more often.

He smiles at my enthusiasm. Told you its great being out here. So are you going to have
another go?

Sure am, I say back to him before I paddle back further out.

They all stop and sit on their boards, knowing Im about to take my next wave.

I can see a massive swell emerging, its a huge a wave, and although Im terrified, I decide to
take it.

I quickly start paddling before jumping onto my board knowing Im on the wave. I keep my
feet further apart this time and slowly stand up, just going with the wave. Daniel was right;
keeping my feet further apart has made all the difference.
I almost scream out with joy, my very first wave where Im actually standing up!! I do a few
manoeuvres with my board, steering it left and right trying to go with the wave. The feeling
is exhilarating. I feel so pumped that all I want to do is just want to catch wave after wave.

As I paddle back up to Jase, Daniel, and Aidan, they all give my high fives.

That was awesome! I say excitedly to all of them.

You did Good! You took a massive wave, good on you Sophie! Daniel says back to me.

Thanks for your advice, it worked!

Aidan and Daniel give me another clap on the back before heading back out to catch some
more waves.

Jase lingers next to me, his torso dripping with water which only makes my eyes divert to his
rock sold abs and thick muscled arms. He looks so utterly gorgeous that I cant help but
brazenly grab the back of his neck and kiss him. He grabs my head with his hands and kisses
me back just as passionately.

I feel like time has stopped between us. Here we are, out in the middle of the ocean, the sun
beating down on our skin, and it feels like its just Jase and I in the world. I feel like the
caterpillar thats morphed into a butterfly. I dont feel damaged anymore or emotionally
unstable. For so many years of my life, I felt one way, but I feel like Im living my life now.
Breathing it. And Jase has shown me that. And maybe thats why Im falling in love with him.
Because hes taken this dark cloud off my shoulders. Hes the light to my darkness. And I feel
like a new person. Ive known it for a while, but this kiss, out here in the middle of the
ocean, with the salty ocean water spraying our skin, cooling us off from the scorching sun; I
feel Im born again. The anxiety that I have let consume me, isnt there anymore. I feel like
my heart is smiling.

Jase pulls away with his hand still cupping the side of my face. You are stunning Sophie.

I smile at him and give him a quick kiss before we both paddle back out and catch some
more waves.

*******

After spending a good couple of hours out there in the surf, we decide to go and grab
something to eat.

Ive learnt that Daniel and Aidan went to Harvard with Jase, although theyre both lawyers.
They seemed like really nice guys, and its the first time Ive met any of Jases friends.

Jase was also extremely affectionate with me in front of his friends. He always held my
hand, or had his arms around my waist, and when we werent talking or eating, he was
showering me with kisses. Jase may not be one to express his feelings through words, but
his actions made it pretty clear he liked me. If he wasnt, he was a damn good actor.

After eating enough sushi to last me a lifetime, Jase and I said bye to his friends and decided
to head back to my place. It was only late in the afternoon and I was ready for bed. This past
week had totally exhausted me and I still had no idea when Jase would be going back to
New York and where we were headed.

The realisation snaps me out of my happy place with Jase. I know I have to say something
because I cant keep doing this. It feels like hes just as into me as I am in him. I feel it
through his actions that hes falling for me too. Call it a womans intuition, but I feel it. I
could be wrong though.

And Im prettified of what hes going to say.

As we walk inside my apartment, I begin to peel off my clothes ready to jump into the
shower, oblivious to the fact Jase is still here with me until he grabs my arm and pulls me
into his chest.

And where do you think youre going gorgeous? He has his seductive smile on and his eyes
are burning holes through mine. Its like he touches my soul with his eyes.

I was about to take a shower, I say smiling back at him. Im utterly exhausted.

Youve been pretty quiet on the way home after dinner, something on your mind? he
presses, looking into my eyes demanding the truth.

Oh. This is not the conversation I want to have. Im sure he doesnt want me getting all
clingy on him and asking him whats happening between us.

Nothing. Im just tired, I lie.

Jase slowly lets go of my waist and places both of his hands on either side of my face so I
have nowhere to look but at him. And I can tell Im about to get the Spanish inquisition.

Youre lying Sophie. I can tell.

How can you tell if Im lying? I ask in disbelief.

Am I that easy to read? First Emmanuel, and then Jase?

Time to have that conversation. I guess I better just get on with it now and let him walk
away.

What is this? I point my finger to Jase and then back at me. Between us. Clearly its not a
one night stand. Is it a fling? Because I know youre heading back to New York soon and Im
here and I have no idea whats going on.
That was as close to the truth I was going to give. Never mind the part where I was falling
head over heels for him.

What do you want it to be Sophie? he says letting go of me.

I could tell just by his body language he was uncomfortable with this conversation. Clearly I
was wrong about where his feelings were.

Dont do that. Dont do the whole, what do you want it to be Sophie. If you wanted it to
be more, or if you wanted it to be less. Just say so. Dont beat around the bush. Just be
honest. I say angrily.

Im so tired of guys and theyre bullshit.

Jase looks at me questioningly for a moment. I have a feeling hes about to tell me hes done
with me. But instead, he pushes himself off the bench and slowly makes his way back to me,
encircling me again in his arms.

With one hand he brushes a strand away from my face, tucking it behind my ear before
speaking.

Sophie, I only asked because I just wanted to see what you wanted. There was nothing
more to it. I wont lie, I dont do this, he says pointing his finger me and him. I havent
been with a girl like I have with you in a very long time. ItsIm a complicated person. And
yes I do live in New York and youre here and as it so happens, Emmanuel texted me today
letting me know the house I want I got, so I will be leaving tomorrow and heading back to
New York.

oh

My heart sinks. I knew it was coming. But the feeling you get when you finally hear the truth
always outdoes any preparation you can give yourself. The truth really can hurt.

I have to fight back tears, because the sunshine he brought in my life, hes taking it away so
soon. And Ive had so much fun-weve have had so much fun. So why end it?

But, he continues, looking me straight in my eyes. I really like you Sophie. In case you
hadnt noticed, Aidan and Daniel were even surprised I was with you. They know I never
introduce girls, so the fact that I did means something. Im not one for words but I hope my
actions portray what Im trying to say. And, I want to continue to see you. You will be in New
York in a couple of weeks, and Ill see you up there. I dont know what will happen between
us. I can only go with whats happening now.

To be honest, he was a man of few words. Yes he had been really affectionate with me.
Kind, gentle, and taken me to some great places. We laughed, I had met his friends, and Im
sure for him it was a big deal. But for me? It wasnt enough. I couldnt go down a path
where a guy had one leg in and one leg out. Constantly unsure. And thats what Jase had
pretty much told me. Whereas I was falling for him. In a big way. And it wasnt his fault I
guess. He never promised me anything. But I thought he would be falling for me too. And I
had hoped he would fight that little bit harder for me. But his demeanour tells me hes just
happy to roll with things.

Im falling in love with this man. I honestly believed he was feeling the same way. Maybe I
really am crazy. Oh god, how did I read him so wrong?

I think you should go, I say with sadness in my voice.

What? Why? Jase asks me looking perplexed.

I just think you should go. I knew we should have just left it at one night. Please just go, I
say to him again, pulling myself out of his arms.

He hangs on, trying to pull me back, Sophie?

I can tell hes hurt, I can tell hes done the best he could. But its not enough. And just like
the rest of them, I have to walk away. With whatever I can of my heart still intact.

Before I can pull away again, Jase grabs me and slams me against the wall and pins me with
his lips. Theres nothing civilized about the way hes kissing me. Its all animalistic. And I bite
his lips purposefully to get him to stop. Because I know Im weak for him. His kiss and his
touch will make me weak. I wont be able to walk away if he continues. But Jase bites me
back. Bites me so hard on my upper lip that I cry out in pain. I can feel the blood trickling
down my lower lip, and I feel Jase sucking the blood off me, swallowing me into him. Its
almost taboo with the way were kissing. I feel a certain obsession with him, like a dark
unclaimed part of me wants to ravage him. And I can feel his possession over me with his
kiss.

He kisses me like Im his and his alone. Which only confuses me with his words before
about. And I kiss him back with all my might to try and hang on to the good weve had. If all I
have is tonight with him, then I plan to put everything I can into him.

Gasping for air I claw at his neck and kiss him harder. Im lost, floating through the pain of
the present. Emotions fill me to the brim and overflow in rage and anger. My hands fist and
slam into his muscular arms, but that only makes him devour me more.

When I finally get my hands under his shirt, I grab a fistful of his back and dig my nails in. I
want it to hurt. I want to hear him cry out, but he doesnt. Instead, it seems to turn him on
more.

Before I can even get my bearings back, were in my bedroom, with Jase hovering on top of
me. He rips my swimmers off and hes already naked, his erection fairly evident. His eyes
look angry, like hes about to fuck me senseless. Like he wants me to remember what hes
about to do to me.

Im going to fuck you Sophie. So hard and so deep, youre going to feel my dick go places
no-one has ever been before. I promise you, youre going to feel me, he growls at me while
sucking on breasts.

He kisses me all the way down, biting me on my neck and chest and when I look down I can
see bite marks forming all over my body.

Hes marking me.

Before I can tell him to stop, his head is in between my legs, licking and sucking my clit. I
dont even need him down there since I know just how wet I am.

Fuck baby, youre so wet I could drink you.

And he does. He actually drinks me, of all the juices that have come out of sex. I can already
feel my legs slick with my wetness and rather than being embarrassed, Im so turned on that
I almost come in his mouth.

Almost.

But just when I think I can handle it, he inserts two thick fingers into my pussy pushing them
in and out. Deep and slow. I rub my clit at the same time he s ucks me and fingers me down
there.

Im out of my depth, I cant hold on any longer, Im about to come so hard, I can feel it
building in my body.

Oh yes. Yes yes, yessssssssssss, Oh Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk, I pant.

Thats it baby, just come in my mouth, I want to feel your pussy open up and your juices
come out.

His erotic words push me over the edge and I come hard, tears springing in my eyes at the
intensity of the orgasm.

Before I can even compose myself, Jase is on top of me, pushing my knees right back and
pushing my thighs wide apart.

I dont have a condom Sophie. Are you on the pill? he asks me gruffly, the top of his cock
hovering over my pussy

I nod my head. Someone once told me having sex with a condom is like having a shower
with your clothes on. And it was true. Ever since then, I had always been on the pill.

As soon as I nod my head, Jase enters me, with only his tip of his head in me.
Sophie, you are so fucking wet. I cannot wait to fuck you. Ive wanted this for so long.

And before I have a chance to reply, he plunges his cock deep into my pussy. I scream out in
pain and the pleasure of it. Jase feels absolutely massive.

He starts to thrust into me slow and deep at first, and hes right, I can feel him in places no
man has ever been. His sheer size scared me enough, but the fact that hes in me now
makes me realise just how big he is.

He holds my head in his hands, demanding my eyes to look into his. Fuck youre so tight,
why is your pussy so tight baby? he asks me in between thrusts

With each thrust, he seems to unfold more of me and reach deeper in me. As soon as hes
reached as far as he can go, he begins to quicken up the pace. Fucking me hard and fast,
while I vigorously rub my clit.

Fuck Sophie, I can really feel you opening up. Your pussy feels so fucking good, you have no
idea. The way it hugs my cock. Fuck baby I cant wait to come in you so I can mark you on
the inside, he says in between kisses. I want to do things to you youve never had done
before. I want to fuck you in every way possible, he says with sexual desire pooling in his
eyes.

What felt like pain before, feels like sheer pleasure now. His cock in me feels so good, and I
feel Im about to come again. How is it even possible, Im not sure.

Jase pumps me so hard and fast and I lift my legs over each of his shoulders, allowing him
to go so deep in me that I have to grip the sheets to regain some control. Im almost over
the edge at the sound of the wet slosh inside my pussy.

I feel my pussy clench up and my eyes squint just before I open up and belt out my orgasm.
Fuck, oh god, oh god, Oh fuck Jase, fuck me harder, fuck your cock feels so good, fuck me
baby, fuck me so good, I say before I come.

I scream and moan and writher all over the place and I can only just see Jase fucking me so
hard and fast that he tenses up and blows his warm milky fluids inside me. I can feel it
spread deep within me and the thought alone get me revved up again.

What the hell is wrong with me? Im like a sex junkie

With two orgasms down in less than hour, Im ready to pass out. But it seems Jase has other
ideas, hes like an energiser battery.

He comes back down to me and kisses me hard on the mouth. You feel so good baby. Your
pussy is so tight; it drives me over the edge. But Im not done with you yet. Do you trust
me? he asks with a sexy smile.
Do I trust him? With my body, yes. With my heart, No.

I nod my head at him, anticipating what he has in store for me next. There are things I want
Jase to do to me, unforbidden things, things that are so taboo, and I cant understand why.
Hes trouble, and some dark part of me is tired of being the good girl, and with sex I can play
out those fantasies with him.

Turn over, he says lifting me up. I do as he asks and Im on all fours, my ass sticking right
out facing him.

He slaps my ass gently before biting each cheek. Do you know you have the plumpest,
roundest ass I have ever seen Sophie? I want to claim you, I want to fuck you so hard, fuck.
You driving me crazy woman.

Before I can conjure any explicit words back to him, he leans over my back and starts kissing
the back of neck while his other hand starts to rub my clit. I come undone instantly. Hes hit
that sweet spot on my neck and I instinctively arch my ass further against his already hard
dick.

Thats it baby, you know what to do, he breathes into my ear.

He continues licking and sucking the back of my neck before letting go and tugging my hair
back, like hes holding onto me. I feel like Im at his mercy, my body for his pleasure alone,
ready to do anything to me. And I like it. And Im turned on, so very turned on. I feel him
enter me from behind, and if I thought he went deep before, that was nothing. Taking me
from behind with his cock was pleasure enough, but this, this is almost forbidden.

You like that dont you? You like it when I control you. When I dominate you, he says it as
more of a statement than a question

Yes. I do. Make me yours Jase, I whimper.

And he does. He pumps me so hard from behind, his balls smacking against my ass cheeks
and my breasts jiggle together. It has me so turned on that I start moaning.

Oh fuck Jase, this feels so good, I feel so dirty like this and I like it. Fuck me harder! I
scream out.

I want you to pretend, baby, that just for now, I have two cocks. One is in your pussy. And
the other is about to go in your asshole. Do you like that? Do you like the idea of me
claiming you like that? Tell me Sophie, tell me you want me in you everywhere, he says
while he tugs the back of my hair to give me answer.

Yes, I cry out. I feel like Im starring in some explicit porn movie and I never thought I
could like what Jase is doing to me.
Good, now rub your clit. Im going to keep fucking you. Fucking you so hard in your pussy
till youre sore and ready to come. And when your close I want you tell me. Im going to stick
my fingers in your ass.

I do as he says and I can feel him pounding into me even harder and faster than I think is
humanly possible. I vigorously rub my clit, allowing him to push even further inside me
which gets me on the verge on coming.

I reach the tip of my mountain where Im about to come tumbling down and I scream out to
Jase that Im about to come. My pussy opens up gushing out even more my juices, and I can
feel Jase slide two fingers in my asshole, pounding them into me so hard, almost like Jase
has sprouted another cock and is fucking me in two different ways. The mental image and
the sensations send me over the edge with the most intense orgasm I have ever
experienced.

FUCK, OH OH OHHHHHHIM COMING JASE OH MY GOD, OHHHHHH. YES YES, YESSSSSSSS.

Im coming all over the place, Im screaming and moaning of sheer pleasure and the
orgasms keep coming. Somewhere in the midst of my screams of pleasure, I can feel Jase
coming inside me again, filling me up to the brink where Im overloaded inside with my
juices and his.

After what feels like an eternity of orgasm after orgasm, Jase pulls out of me, which seems
to unplug all of his liquids that were kept inside me. His fluids coming trickling out me,
marking my inner thighs and the front of my sex.

I grab the towel thats laying on the chair next to my bed and wipe myself down. I lay back
down on my bed feeling completely spent. My whole body is covered in sweat, and Im
utterly exhausted.

Feeling sated and sleepy, Jase grabs me into his arms and strokes my hair until I fall asleep.

I dont miss his words that he whispers to me, thinking Im already in a deep sleep.

Im falling for you too Sophie.

Chapter 14

I wake up late the next morning, only to find myself entwined in Jases body. His legs are
wrapped in mine and my head is in his chest, with his head resting on my head and he
smells like heaven.

I slowly peel myself out his grasp, careful not to wake up, deciding to head straight to the
shower. I take one last look at Jase, entangled in my white bed sheets. He really is the
sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on.

I quickly head into the shower and scrub myself vigorously, washing away all of Jases
markings on me. I look down to my chest and see teeth marks ingrained into my skin.
Damn it Jase! But Images of him inside me flash through my mind and I have to count to ten
just to get my mind off it. If I go there, Ill only get turned on again. And even though I had
the most incredible sex with him, doing things I have never done with anyone else, things
Ive only ever read about, I cant figure him out.

He fucked me like I was his, like he was claiming me. And I vaguely remember him
whispering to me last night hes falling for me too. But now I cant be so sure. I was tired.
And it could just be my imagination. Maybe it was something I wanted to hear. And maybe
its time I put my heart on the line and tell him how I really feel.

Yes, thats what Ill do.

After scrubbing myself senseless, and shampooing my hair at least three times, I grab my
towel and wipe myself down and head back out to Jase. I expect him to still be asleep but
hes grabbing his clothes and is slowly getting dressed.

I stop dead in my tracks.

Was he trying to do the runner?

Before I can think any more negative thoughts, Jase strides over to me and kisses me hard
on the mouth. He pulls away before smiling at me. I dont want to go Sophie. I want to stay
here all day with you. But my flight is in a couple of hours and I have to pack and head
home.

Oh, is all I can manage.

He did tell me he was leaving today, I just didnt realise us would be coming to such an
abrupt end.

I want you to come back to the hotel with me, have some brunch with me before I leave,
he pleads.
I nod slowly and he kisses me on the forehead again holding me tight in his arms.

*******

We arrive back at Jases hotel in two separate cars, leaving the room only to eat and then
heading straight back so Jase can pack.

What time is your flight? I ask tentatively.

I have to be the airport in an hour, he says while grabbing his clothes off the floor and
folding them in his suitcase.

I nod and sit on the bed silently. Anxiety creeps into the pit of my stomach as I contemplate
telling him how I really feel and the outcome of his response.

He notices my sudden shift in mood and stops packing, walking over to me sitting on the
bed.

Whats wrong Sophie, youve been so quiet this whole morning? he says looking up at me.

I think about how ironic this situation is right now. Me sitting on his bed, him leaning down
in front of me- isnt this how it all started in the first place? And yet the same scenario is
being played out but I dont know what the ending will be.

I put my head in my hands. I cant even look at him. I feel like an insecure pathetic mess.

I cant, I know you just want to keep things casual, I mumble in my hands before I pull
them away and look down at him. But I cant Jase. I cant do casual with you. And I know
you never promised me anything, I dont even know what this was between us. But I have
found myself falling for you, I say with hopeful eyes.

Jases face turns serious. What exactly are you saying Sophie?

I breathe out slowly and say the words that could make or break me.

Im falling in love with you Jase.

Silence.

My heart stops beating. This cant be happening. Silence was not the response I was
expecting.

Jase?

But he doesnt look at me. He slowly gets up and walks away, continuing his silence.

My heart silently breaks. His silence towards me tells me everything. I cant believe I read
him so wrong. I want to leave, but Im frozen in place. My heart is in the pit of my stomach
and the nausea is building up inside me, you know, that sick feeling you get when you know
youre about to hear bad news.

Sophie, Jase says abruptly turning back to me. ImIm not the guy for you. I cant do
this. Im sorry.

I look at him in despair.

What do you mean youre not the guy for me? What does that mean Jase? I practically
scream.

It means you fell too fast too soon. I had a good time with you, and thats all I wanted, a
good time, he says coldly.

A good time? A good fucking time? Are you bullshitting me? I was about ready to slap him.
Is that why you fucked me last night and told me you wanted me to be yours? Is a good
time telling me you really really like me? Is a good time telling me no other guy is good
enough for me, but yet here you are, telling me youre not the right guy for me, are you
serious?

Im baffled. Is this a joke? Is this really happening?

I never expected it to go this far. I didnt realise you were falling for me like that, he says
looking at the ground

Im horrified at his reaction. Who is this guy? This was not the guy I fell for. No, this guy is an
asshole.

So thats it then? Youve just blitzed into my life, fucked me, and now that you got your
dream home, and got what you wanted off me, youre telling me to fuck off. That I mean
nothing to you?

I cannot believe this is happening!

Sophie, its not like that. Youre a great girl I just

Stop. Dont even continue that sentence. I know what you were about to say. Save it. I
couldve sworn last night you said to me you were falling for me to, when you thought I was
asleep. And thats the only reason Ive come out and said what I did today. But clearly Im
the fool. You know what Jase, youre nothing but an asshole.

With that I grab my bag and high tail it out of there, slamming his door on the way out. I can
hear Jase yelling my name for me to come back, that hes sorry but I dont stop. I keep
running and tears start streaming down my face.

Fool.
I stop dead in my tracks when I see Tracey walking towards me, blocking me from my path.

Oh so you finally figured out you meant nothing to Jase after all this time? Im surprised
you lasted this long, she says smugly.

Fuck off, I say angrily to her. The last thing I want right now is to be having a conversation
with Tracey, especially after what just happened.

I walk around her, but she blocks my path again.

I said move, giving her a death stare.

Thankfully she slowly moves out my way allowing me to walk away from her. But not before
she utters words that completely shatter me.

You know hes always going to love Sarah. Its always going to be her.

Who is Sarah? What does she mean he loves Sarah?

I look at Tracey sceptically. Shes probably only saying this to twist the knife deeper in my
back.

But she continues. Look you dont have to believe me, but you can ask him for yourself.
Look, here he comes, she says looking behind me.

Sure enough, Jase is striding towards both of us. He takes one look at Tracey and then at
me, seeing the tears streaming down my face. I see concern etched all over his face.

Who is Sarah? I lash out angrily to him

He stops walking and stands frozen in place, all the colour draining from his face.

So it is true. Theres been someone back in New York all along.

Do you love her? God Damn it Jase, who is she? I practically shout that everyone in the
lobby turns to our direction, watching the drama unfold like a scene out of Days of Our
Lives.

What did you say to her Tracey? he asks angrily

Nothing. Only the truth, Tracey says smugly before walking off, obviously achieving
whatever it was she set out to achieve.

I turn back to Jase and demand an answer. Tell me Jase, who is Sarah?

He looks back at me with sorrow in his eyes.

I caught him. And he knows it.

Sophie, its not what you think

If you had of just said no, its not the truth. I would listen to what you have to say. But
those werent your first words. So just save it. Stay the hell away from me, I say bitterly to
him.

I couldnt care less what the other guests here at the hotel think of me right now. I run from
Jase, run from the people in the hotel, run from the revelation that Jase has had someone
all along. I run with tears streaming down my face until I reach my car.

I cant believe I was so foolish. I cant believe I let him into my heart and he used me like
that. I finally reach my car and I climb inside resting my head on the steering wheel and let
the tears pour out. I feel utterly broken. And used. And I feel like this biggest fool. I sit there
and cry until theres nothing more left.

He always loved somebody else.

Chapter 15
Jase

Fuck. What have I done?

Chapter 16
One Week Later

Babe do you really need this much stuff? Mel asks me as she puts another one of my
probably maybe need that top in my suitcase.

Lets just say I like to be prepared, I respond back to Mel.

Tomorrow I meet with the buyers from Barneys in New York and Mel has come over this
afternoon to help me pack before I fly out with Em tonight. Ive worked especially hard this
week preparing for the meeting, and the nerves have finally kicked in for tomorrow
mornings outcome. To have my range in New York would mean Id finally cracked it and
made it big. And a lot has been riding on this.

Pfff. You call three suitcases being prepared for a weeks trip? Seriously? Id hate to think
what a month would be with you.

Ha ha. Funny. Well because I actually WEAR clothes, you know, ones that actually cover my
body, it does happen to take up more space, I say sarcastically back to her.

Screw you bitch, she says rolling her eyes at me before throwing a pillow to my face

Anyway! How are things with you and Nate, seems to me you guys are pretty serious
now? I say in a happy voice

Mel stops folding clothes in my suitcase and sits down on the chair next to my bed.

How are you holding up babe? she says changing the subject.

I continue folding clothes ignoring her comment.

Soph? Dont give me the silent treatment.

I stop pretending to fold my clothes and look up at the celling. There isnt much to say Mel.
Jase was an asshole. And were finished. And thats that.

Yeah, but stop acting all tough. Em and I can see straight through you. Dont act like its not
bothering you anymore, she says earnestly.

What do you want me to say Mel? That Ive cried all week? That Ive missed him like
crazy? I say exasperated.

I was a fool. He had a girl all along. A girl he loves. I dont know how I didnt see it. He used
me. And I was naive enough to fall for his shit. He played me. He got what he wanted, and I
let him, and he cut it off with me. I always knew it would end. So its my fault really. He
never promised me anything. I guess I just thought deep down in some insane part of me he
would be different. That I would change him and hed fall for me too. But who am I kidding. I
always said he could do better than me, that he was probably wasting his time with me. And
I was right. He had a girl all along. I dont know why I kept seeing him and letting it go
further. If you want to know if Im still hurting, then yes Mel. I am. In a big way, I say with
sadness in my voice.

Soph, dont ever say he could do better than you. Id kick his ass if he were here right now.
I just cant believe he could love someone else. And who is Sarah? It all sounds so suss to
me.

She stops to look at me for a second before continuing. Have you been sleeping Soph?

Yes Ive been sleeping fine, I lie.

Liar, she snaps back immediately.

I smile at her. Damn she shows me well.

It was true though. After my last run in with Jase, I hadnt slept properly all week. I cried
myself to sleep mostly every night and I felt the darkness upon my shoulders again. He
hadnt called or texted me since. Not a single form of contact. Thats how little I meant to
him. And it hurt. I couldve sworn he was falling for me too. I was so sure he was. And I was
so sure he had said he was falling for me too. How did I get it so wrong? How did I not see
that there was someone else? I already went through this with Steve, and I promised myself
I wouldnt get caught up with a guy like that again. But I did. And now, Im left with nothing
but a broken heart. It was crazy how quickly I fell for him. I was so caught up in this
infatuation with him-with us. I used to think people were full of it when they said they fell in
love only after a couple of weeks. But I guess Im the person who is full of shit, because after
only a few encounters with Jase, I fell. And I fell hard.

I just want to put it behind me, I say back to Mel.

Okay babe. Well I better get going; I know Em will be here soon for your flight. Call me the
minute you land, I want to know everything. And I know your meeting is going to be just
fine. Youve got it in the bag, Mel says warmly to me.

I smile at my friend. I look into her eyes and see all the trust, love, and support you could
ever need from a friend. Shed do anything for me. I give her a long hug and a kiss on the
cheek before we say our goodbyes.

Night Soph, She says before slipping out my house.

Thanks Mel. Thanks for your company, I say back to her.

She smiles at me again before leaving.

Chapter 17

Sophie! Come on lets go, we will be stuck in traffic otherwise! Emmanuel yells out from
the kitchen.

Just a second!

I run around like a mad woman gathering all my things into my bag and ensuring my hair
and make-up is just right. I know the buyers are not going to care how I look, but Im so
jittery with nerves, its making me do silly things.

I take one final look in the mirror and decide this was it.

Im wearing a black wrap dress that falls just above my knees topped with my black
Louboutins. I wear one of my most extravagant necklaces with my signature diamond studs.
My hair is up in a ballerina style bun with of course, red lippy.

Emmanuel and I had arrived to New York late last night and today was the big day. We were
staying at the very fancy Ritz Carlton hotel in New York. Ive never been to a more luxurious
hotel. My sheets probably had a million thread count to them and it was so cosy that I did
not want to get out of my king size bed this morning. Even the bathroom and my own little
private lounge area was a treat.

Well hello sleeping beauty. You look gorgeous babe. Now come on, we have the town car
waiting downstairs. Lets go! Em says with excitement.

We make our way downstairs into the car and I start to get really nervous. This deal is
everything to me. I have worked tirelessly throughout my years to get here, but the last
couple of weeks I really burnt myself out with numbers and figures and profit margins and
stock and designing my new range and updating my site. I am totally exhausted and if this
deal doesnt go through, I have to admit, I will be crushed.

Nerves? Emmanuel asks noticing my fidgeting.

You have no idea, I reply staring out the window. I guess we could have walked since it
was only fifteen minutes by foot to Barneys head office but Emmanuel decided we should
just get the car there and we can decide what to do with our time afterwards.

Driving through the streets of New York is surreal. Ive never seen so many buildings, and
people, and cars. Its like a rat race. People dashing here and there, and mostly everyone is
on their phones either talking or texting.

LA is so laid back compared to this place.

Its okay to be nervous Soph. Totally normal. Who wouldnt be in your position! But Im
here and youve got the deal. I promise, Em says squeezing my hand.

Within a couple of minutes we arrive at Barneys. We open the giant glass doors that lead
into an extremely white foyer. In fact everything is white. White leather couches, white
coffee table, white walls and white reception desk. On paper it would sound wrong, but it
works. It feels so luxurious.

I am greeted by a young woman asking if we have an appointment.

Hello, we have a 9 oclock with Jonathon and Chelsea. My name is Sophie, I say politely.

Oh yes Sophie and Emmanuel, she says staring at her computer. Please take a seat. Ill let
Jonathon and Chelsea know you are here. Would you like something to drink?

Emmanuel and I both tell her were fine.

My nerves are bouncing all around the place. Being stocked in New York would be massive. I
have worked so hard for this. And Im so close. Landing this deal would be a dream come
true.

I grab my bag and check my phone and see a text from Mel.

Good luck Soph. Let me know when the deal is done! xx

I smile and place my bag back inside my bag and wait impatiently for the meeting.

Before I can start pacing and running my hands through my hair and before Emmanuel can
give me another sideways look to calm the fuck down, a man and woman who I assume are
Jonathon and Chelsea greet us.

Hi you must be Sophie, Im Jonathon, he says politely while shaking my hand.

And youre Emmanuel? He says turning to Em.

Pleasure to meet you, Em says shaking his hand.

Chelsea does the same and we make small talk to the meeting room.

So this is your first time to the big Apple? Chelsea asks surprised

Well I actually came here when I was little so I dont remember much. So it does feel like
the first time, I say excitedly.

Yes she wants to do all the touristy things; shes like a kid in a candy store, Emmanuel
remarks

Both Chelsea and Jonathon laugh.

As we sit down, Jessica the receptionist walks in with several bottles of water and places
each one down next to us before leaving.

Chelsea turns to Emmanuel and looks at him inquisitively. Emmanuel, the Emmanuel who
runs the very successful real estate business in LA, as in Rodeo Realty?

Now who looks like a kid in a candy store?

Yes thats me, Em says with a smile.

Impressive. When I head over to LA to buy a place I will be coming to you. You have an
impressive reputation, Jonathon chimes in. How did you have time to come here today?

Emmanuel looks over at me and smiles before answering, I believed in Sophies vision so
much that I invested in her. She made me her business partner, so in a sense, I have to make
time because this is work and its very important to me and I take this meeting and the
business Sophie and I share very seriously.

Chelsea and Jonathon seem pleased and smile in agreement.

Okay lets get started, Jonathon says business like now.

Sophie, weve seen your designs and they are incredible. We have heard great things in our
LA office and your stock seems to be selling really well. So we already know your
background. At the same time New York is our flagship store. We only stock what we
believe can sell and can increase our bottom line. Ultimately it is about the bottom line.

He then leans forward and takes off his glasses and places his pen on the table.

I know your designs are going to sell Sophie- no doubt about it. Our LA office practically re-
stocks your designs every week as they can only hold so much stock. So consider this
meeting very short. Because we want your designs in our office and if you can, we want you
to get started merchandising your items first thing next week Monday morning. If you agree
to let us buy your stock for 50% of the retail value, we will sign the documents today, and
we will be buying one million dollars worth of your jewellery.

Silence.

There is only silence. I cant speak. Did he just say, a) they want my designs in their store,
and b) they want to purchase over a million dollars worth of my items?

Sophie? Chelsea asks again, staring at me.

I look over at Em who gives me a beaming smile and a quick nod.

I swallow, trying to get some liquid in my throat so that actual words come out of my
mouth.
That would be probably the best outcome I couldve ever have hoped for and so much
more. Yes I agree and yes I will be here on Monday. Yes to it all, thankyou, Im so happy that
I cant even find proper words!

Its true. I could literally jump out of my chair and kiss them both.

Excellent, Im so glad to have you on board at our New York office. It will be the beginning
of a very beautiful working relationship, Chelsea says excitedly.

Jonathon nods in agreement. We always wanted you here Sophie, youre an incredibly
talented person. My wife buys your items by the droves.

Jonathon then hands me a folder full of documents along with his and Chelseas business
cards.

If you could have these signed and sent so we receive them no later than Wednesday so
we can get all your account details setup.

Sure thing. Thank you so much, I say like Ive just won the lottery.

I feel like doing my rocky Sylvester Stallone punch/dance right now!

Chelsea and Jonathon both stand up and walk Emmanuel and I outside.

It was a pleasure meeting you both, Jonathon says. We will chat to you very soon.

We all shake hands again and say goodbye before Emmanuel and I walk out the door.

The first thing Emmanuel does when were out of site from Barneys is pick me in a big bear
hug and twirl me around.

You did it Sophie, YOU DID IT! he screams with joy

I laugh and laugh until I cry with joy. Im so elated, like Im walking on clouds; I never want
to come down from this high.

When he finally puts me down, I look at him. No we did it. If it wasnt for you investing in
me, believing in me and the support and love you and Mel gave me, I wouldnt be here. I
love you Em, you and Mel are everything to me.

And with that I cry happy tears with Emmanuel who also is crying tears of joy.

You know what this means, dont you? Emmanuel says excitedly

Whats that? I say only more excitedly back

Tonight we are heading out girlfriend, and we are celebrating! he screams again

*******
Emmanuel and I spend the rest of the day doing what a gay guy and girl would do if theyve
just struck a major deal in their careers. We shop.

I spend an absurd amount of money that day, but I enjoy the time and happiness Emmanuel
and I have. It feels good to know that I worked hard enough to land this deal, it all finally
paid off.

By the time I call my mum, and Mel, telling them about the deal I landed with Barneys Im
physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. These past couple of weeks have been
such a roller coaster that Ive hardly slept and I have been working out non-stop to try and
exhaust all my nervous energy. I feel like I could sleep for a week. I let Emmanuel know that
Im taking a nap and to wake me up an hour before we head out so I can get dressed.

I literally lay my head down on the pillow before Im out like a light. I fall into a deep
peaceful slumber.
Chapter 18

Im already on my third glass of champagne and Im tipsy as hell. Emmanuel ordered some
Dom Perigon to drink before we head out, continuing the celebrations and good mood.

Luckily Ive already applied my makeup and tonight Ive decided to wear one of the dresses I
bought from my shopping spree. Its simple but definitely makes an impact.

Its a Herve Leger light coral bandage dress that shows off all my curves and is also
incredibly short.

Feeling good, I let my hair out and give it that sexy tousled bed head look and drape myself
in my fine gold chains and diamond studs. Some red lippy and nude colour heels and I have
to admit, Im looking really good, although it could just be that the alcohol is making me see
things.

Suddenly my phone starts ringing and I stumble around like a drunk person trying to find it. I
finally locate it lying on my bed hidden amongst all my clothes and see Mels name come up.

I entrusted Mel to look after all my orders while I was away in New York and shes probably
already stuffed something up.

Its all good Mel, calm down, what did you stuff up, we can fix it, I say tipsily to her.

Umokay have you been drinking?

Just a few celebratory drinks, I giggle back to her.

Okay, well anyway Im not calling because I stuffed anything up. Quite the opposite in
fact.

I sit down on the chair against the window overlooking New York.

Okay whats up then? I ask her.

Well thats just it. Your orders have skyrocketed. In the last hour, youve had a thousand
sales, and looking at your sales just now, that figure has increased to almost two thousand
orders, Mel says perplexed.

I dont understand. Are you sure youre reading it right? I average two hundred orders a
day Mel, and thats on a good day. Are you sure youre reading it correctly? I ask her
confused.

Check your laptop.

Okay give me a sec while I boot it up.

 I run over to my laptop sitting on the study desk and open up my orders screen. And sure
enough, Mel is right. I have had almost three thousand orders in the last two hours along.

What is going on?

Mel your right, Im seeing the same thing.

Well duh, of course Im right! But how is this happening? Is Barneys advertising for you? Do
you have some advertising going on that I dont know about? Because I cant keep up with
the orders at this rate!

Shit, I dont know, no I mean no advertising, I only just signed with Barneys New York
today. I dont understand, I say perplexed.

Well, I mean the sales are a good thing. Its just insane. The phone is ringing off the hook
here with orders, and your online site is going nuts, I just keep getting order after order. Im
going to have to call some of my friends over to help me out with this .

Thanks a bunch Mel. Of course Ill pay you all, but Im going to figure out whats going on
first and Ill call you back.

Yeah no worries babe, Ill be in touch, Mel says before hanging up the phone.

I find Emmanuel putting on his shirt in his bedroom. Whats wrong Soph? he says turning
to face me while I stand there looking confused

I relay everything that just happened with Mel, telling him about the sales and how they
keep climbing each hour.

That is pretty weird. I mean its a good thing, but it makes you wonder why sales have
soared like that. Have you done something different? Been advertising somewhere? he
asks.

No nothing different Em. And now I dont know how Im going to keep up with demand. If
sales keep going like this Ill be out of stock in a couple of weeks.

Em finishes buttoning up his shirt, while looking at me in the mirror. We will call the
suppliers tomorrow- Ill deal with them. Dont worry; Im here with you to help you out.
Tonight lets just celebrate okay? he says with a smile.

Okay.

Good now lets get going, he says smacking me on the butt.

*******

As we get into the cab I realise I have no idea where Ems taking me.
Were going to Da Silvano. A gorgeous Italian restaurant that is highly recommended by my
clients. Right in the heart of Greenwich Village. Oh and by the way, Ive invited some of my
clients and friends, he adds.

Cool, sounds good, I slur back to him.

Emmanuel and I crack up laughing in the car. Thats the great thing about Em, weve both
had shitty upbringings, where we spent most of our life hiding away and being harassed and
ostracised. Now we laugh and everything with Em is funny. I dont know what it is- we just
have to look at each other and were in tears.

We pull up to the restaurant and there seems to be a long line to get into the place. It is
crammed with people.

Emmanuel walks straight up to the front waiter and tells him we have a reservation. The
waiter walks to a table outside that already has people on it. Im about to say something
until I see Jase sitting at the table.

Jase spots me and immediately looks at me in complete and utter shock. I dont know why
hes shocked he would have at least known I was here. Me on the other hand, not so
much. I wish I couldve said to Em to give me a heads up, but he knows nothing about the
drama that has unfolded between Jase and I.

I didnt want to ruin their friendship or working relationship. So I kept things to myself. I
guess Jase probably thought I hadnt said anything either considering he was invited by Em.

I look back at Jase and he still looks sexier as ever and that just pisses me off more.

I notice hes dressed in jeans and a khaki coloured button down shirt with his sleeves rolled
up exposing his tattoos. The colour brings out his extremely tanned skin. The outfit makes
him look so god damn sexy, but its those piercing green eyes that make me nervous.
Theyre what got me in to trouble in the first place. Maybe if I avoid eye contact with him I
will be fine.

Emmanuel introduces me to all his friends, three guys including Jase, and one girl named
Silvana.

I say my hellos to all of them shaking their hand and I do the right thing and am polite to
Jase and act like nothing ever happened. Hes still looking at me with his mouth open and
right now all I want to do is sock in the jaw.

Whyd he have to be here when its my celebration night !

I tell myself that tonight is about Em and I and Im not going to let anyone change that. The
seating is weird too. Silvana and two of Ems friends are seated on one side. Jase is sitting on
the edge of the other side and there is no way Im sitting next to him. So I try to go and sit
on the edge of the table but Emmanuel isnt having it.

Sophie! No no, you my dear are in the middle, tonight is a celebration for you!

Sit, Sit, he tells me patting the chair in the middle. I grind my teeth together and force a
smile.

For fucks sake Sophie, get it together. Be an adult!

So I do. I Ignore Jase and laugh and eat and drink with Em and his friends.

I want to make a toast, Emmanuel interrupts halfway through dinner. To the only girl in
my life who I could love. He pauses and looks at me and smiles. Sophie, heres to you and
one very successful future. You are a star baby. You can do anything. May all your dreams
come true, he finishes by giving me a massive kiss on the cheek.

Cheers, we all say clinking glasses and drinking.

By now Im drunk, very, very drunk. Ive never gone beyond my two glass limit, and now Im
on my fourth, and I know Im going to have on very serious hangover tomorrow. But right
now, I dont care. Im having one of the best nights in my life.

I feel as if Im floating, and I cant wipe the stupid grin off my face. I even momentarily
forget Jase is next to me. But that peace is short-lived. For some silly reason the alcohol in
me has made me lose all inhibitions, and I actually turn and face him. Realising immediately
it was not a smart thing to do, I pretend to go back to eating my food while Emmanuel
carries on the conversation for the rest of the group.

You dont even want to look at me, is that how much I repulse you, Sophie? asks a very
familiar male voice seated on my left.

I slowly turn and face Jase. I really look at him, giving him by full attention. And it is a
mistake because I immediately gasp at just how gorgeous he is. Its like I forget, or like
words arent justice and Ill be prepared when I see him again. But nope. Seeing him again is
like seeing him for the first time. Again.

No you dont repulse me. I just dont have much to say to you. You made it clear last time I
saw you that there wasnt anything to be said between us at all, I say nonchalantly.

He searches my face, for what, I dont know. He puts his cutlery down and angles his body
towards me to show me hes giving me hes undivided attention. Everyone else seems to be
too engrossed in laughter and conversation to realise what is happening between us.

Im sorry, Sophie. You may think the worst of me, maybe even despise me. And I deserve it.
I was an asshole. But there is so much I want to tell you- need to tell you. Explain to you. So
when Emmanuel called me tonight and told me to come and celebrate for your deal today, I
just had to see you again. He pauses and looks down, deep in thought before continuing. I
havent stopped thinking about you. II wanted to call you. I wanted to stop you before you
walked out at the hotel. But you looked so hurt, so upset and angry. I just wanted to give
you space. I honestly thought you would be a girl I could forget about, but I cant get you off
my mind.

How can he say that to me when hes in love with somebody else? How can he have the
audacity to continue to be here with me? Is he really that much of a lying cheat?

Oh you cant get me off your mind? Is that what you say to Sarah? Where is she tonight by
the way? Im sure shed be really impressed with you, I reply coldly.

Jases face loses its colour again and he looks down before speaking. No she wouldnt be
impressed with me at all.

What is up with him?

I wish Jase wasnt the lying cheat that he was and I wish so much there wasnt another girl
involved, because I feel everything Jase said and more, the passion, the intensity, and the
love.

I need to explain who Sarah is, he says looking back at me.

I dont want to hear it.

Damn it Sophie, Just listen to me. Give me the chance to explain and after that, you never
have to see me again, he says grabbing my hand.

I pull my hand away, his touch igniting emotions in me Id rather keep hidden.

How are sales going Sophie? Jase says in his confident voice, changing the subject, acting
as if nothing just happened.

Why are you asking, I pause and look him with anger in my eyes. What did you do Jase?
What the hell did you do? I ask again, anger rising with each breath I take.

I will explain everything, I promise you. Tonight. But you need to come somewhere with
me first.

Are you out of your damn mind? Im not going anywhere with you! I scream.

Everyone stops theyre talking at the table and looks over at Jase and I. Weve even
managed to attract the attention of the surrounding tables and some waiters.

Whats going on? Em asks looking at both of us.

I have a surprise for Soph, Em. You mind if I take her tonight for a bit- Ill return her in the
morning?

I look between Jase and Em, absolutely horrified.

Is Jase out of his mind? And of course Em will be fine with it, he thinks were fine.

Before I even have the chance to object, Jase pulls me to my feet and hails a cab faster than
I can get out of my chair.

Ill catch you later Soph, Em says giving me a kiss on the cheek and then smacking my ass
which sends me catapulting towards Jase.

Jase smiles and grabs my hand, pulling me into the back seat of the cab.

Just down to Times Square, he tells the cab

What are you doing? I yell at Jase.

He drapes an arm around me and looks at me with a devious grin. I let you go once; Im not
letting you go again Sophie. I saw you tonight and I couldnt take my eyes off you. It killed
me that you couldnt even look my way.

I sit there stunned at his words, and basically shocked at the fact Im back with Jase in a cab
going to Times Square.

Youre with Sarah. You love Sarah. When all along I was loving you, you loved somebody
else. Why wont you just leave me alone? Let me go!

No, he says with a confident stare.

The cab driver looks in his rear view mirror, taking in the scene unfolding in the back. I could
only imagine what he sees going on in the back seats of his cab.

I will never let you go Sophie. Ever.

I look at him in disbelief. I try to digest the words hes telling me, telling myself hes lying.
Hes playing me again. But when I look into his eyes, I come up short. Because all I see is his
sincerity and genuineness.

What is going on?

Before I can even form words to ask why and what the hell is going on, the cab pulls over
before it hits the busy strip of Times Square. Jase pays the cab and pulls me outside. We
stand on the sidewalk, amongst the other hundreds of people who also cover the footpath.

What are we doing here?

Look up Sophie, Look around you, and tell me what you see, Jase before swirling me
around to face all the flashing commercials and signs in Times Square.

And then I see it. I see it everywhere. My Jewellery line, is on every billboard sign, every
flashing sign, large, bright, and colourful. All of the signs are all about my jewellery. I cant
believe it. I cant believe what Im seeing.

I stare at Jase in disbelief, Did you do this?

He nods at me. And I have your jewellery site on billboards all down Broadway and even in
LA. I got in touch with Em, told him to keep it a secret.

I just stare at Jase. I dont even know what to say. Part of me is grateful; the other part is
annoyed for him helping me. He doesnt call after the hotel incident and then this?

As if reading my thoughts, Jase turns to me, I wanted to call you, text you, fly down and see
you. But I knew you wouldnt answer or hear any of it. I knew youd tell me to go to hell.
And Im not good with words. So I put a plan in place to show you.

If you had of called or texted, if you tried something; I wouldve at least known you were
thinking of me. But you didnt, I respond back to him.

I mean Im grateful Jase, dont get me wrong, it all makes sense to me now why my sales
have skyrocketed, but why are you doing this? You dont owe me anything. And were done.
This is just a reminder of you.

Tell me you love me again, Jase says with intense eyes.

I dont love you, I lie back.

This was not the way I wanted to tell you, but I guess there was never going to be a good
time or place, Jase says looking away, taking a deep breath. Just walk with me and sit
down. Im going to explain Sarah.

My heart sinks. I dont know that I want to hear this. But I guess some part of me does. Who
is this girl and why hadnt he mentioned he r before? I knew Jase was hiding something, right
from the beginning. I guess this was his secret. And it was time I knew.
Chapter 19

I sit down in the middle of Times Square on the only available chairs left. Jase pulls my chair
in front of his, so my legs are between his.

Sophie, when I first met you, I thought you were gorgeous. Stunning. And I still do. You
take my breath away. And yes, I was only after fun. I was going to walk away from the
beginning. That night at the Masquerade ball, I was going to stop chasing you, and let you
be. But there was something about you that kept drawing me back. He looks down and
then back at me before continuing.

You opened up to me. About your fears and anxieties, and it brought things up from my
past that I have been blaming myself for, for a very long time.

I look at him and am torn between telling him to stop, that I dont like where this
conversations is going.

But he continues.

I knew Tracey back in High school, she knew Sarah the girl that she mentioned. Thats
how I know Tracey. I was sixteen when I met Sarah. She was beautiful and fun and I loved
her. I did. He pauses again before continuing.

But Sarah was sick. She had severe clinical depression. After two years of dating, I began to
fall out of love with her. We were both moving in different directions, I was changing as a
person, and we didnt have the same interests anymore. I knew she was depressed, she was
always in and out of hospital. When we broke up, she took it really bad. She became really
depressed, and I felt guilty and I didnt know what to do. So I got back with her, terrified she
would take her life. But after several months of staying with her out of fear, I just couldnt
do it anymore. I couldnt be with her out of fear. So before I went to Harvard, I finally broke
it off for good. She took it pretty well at the time and told me she understood and thought
it was for the best too.

I was starting my first week at Harvard when I got a call from Sarahs parents. It was a phone
call I never want to re-live. And it was the worst day of my life.

I look back at Jase with sorrow in my heart. I could tell Jase was struggling to tell me the
next part. I touch his hands, and hold them softly in mine.

He looks down at our hands together before he speaks again. They told me Sarah had
committed suicide. They found her in bed; she had slit her wrists open.
My heart broke for Jase. I felt an unimaginable sorrow wash over me, realising that Jase had
been keeping this unimaginable secret all his life. I couldnt imagine what it would have
been like for him.

So, he continues looking back at me, I blamed myself. I blamed myself for her death.
Guilt ate away at me. I didnt sleep or eat or see my friends for weeks. I was fucked. She
died because I couldnt save her.

No Jase, thats not true. She was not well. You cant blame yourself, I whisper to him.

But he just shakes his head. Over the years, I lived a life of work, work, and more work. I
never got close to a girl. I could never love again. I just couldnt go through that again. And I
was plagued with guilt. I would rather girls think of me as an asshole. Its what I deserved.
Through all the years, I stayed away. I would break it off with every girl.

You asked me how I could donate so much money to your charity that night at the
masquerade ball?

Well it means more to me than you could ever know. I do everything I can for those who are
going through what Sarah did and what you have gone through. I attend support groups for
those suffering depression and anxiety. I tell them they have all the hope and love out there,
and I tell them about Sarah. And how much it affected me, and everyone else, how much we
miss her. And how life should be cherished.

By this point, I have tears streaming down my face. I cant believe what Jase had endured. It
seems like we all have our secrets. Things we kept to ourselves. And we just put on a front
to the rest of the world.

Im so sorry Jase. Gosh, Im so sorry. I never knew. I had no idea.

He cups my face with one of his hands and looks me in my eyes, his eyes that intense green,
burning right through my soul.

For over ten years I have spent my life in hiding. Living it alone. But then I found someone
who made me feel like I deserved to feel love again. And that woman is you Sophie. I love
you. I love you so much, I just never had the courage to tell you. And Im terrified of losing
you, Jase says with worry all over his face.

Because I have anxiety and have gone through depression? I say with understanding.

He nods his head at me. I know it sounds like a cop out. I just think of Sarah, and I think I
couldnt bear to lose you. I lost once. I cant lose again. But I know how unfair that is of me
to think that way. And I love you either way. No matter what, I will stick through the ups and
downs; Im going to be there for you. When you walked out my hotel that day, I felt like the
biggest asshole ever. I fucked up so bad. That week without you was torture. I missed you so
much. And I realised I was living my life in fear. You tell me you think youre living your life in
fear, trust me, youre not, I have been. You took a risk and opened your heart up. Your
stronger than you think Sophie, you just have no idea. I fell in love with you the night of the
masquerade ball. When I danced with you. You lit up the fucking sky for me. And I knew,
there and then, I was screwed.

I kiss him. Its all I can do. His admission of Sarah, and his love, and his need for me is too
much. I cant stand to see him torture himself over the past. I understand why he ran. I
understand why he was scared to love me. I understand it all. And I forgive him. I think
anyone in his situation wouldve been just as scared. I wouldnt even know how I could
handle it.

Our kiss is different this time; it slow, and full of love, and promise. And it doesnt matter
that we were surrounded by hundreds of people, and with flashing billboards signs
advertising my jewellery line. All I care about in this moment is Jase.

He pulls away abruptly. Shit were almost out of time, I have one final surprise for you, he
says pulling me into his arms and hailing a cab.

He mustve seen the worry on my face because he kisses me again. Dont worry, no more
bad news this time. This surprise you will like.

I smile back at him, entwining my fingers in his and jumping into the cab.

*******

No Way! I say to Jase, realising we have arrived at Madison Square Garden. The place
where Kings of Leon are performing.

Jase pulls me into a hug and kisses me on the forehead. I did say I would be taking you and
only you to their concert.

I giggle and jump up and down in his arms like a kid whos about to open their Christmas
presents.

Once weve taken our floor seats, Jase grabs me into his lap and cradles me like a baby. Im
so glad to have you back in my arms gorgeous. I fucking love you babe.

We kiss like two high school kids falling in love for the first time.

Kings of Leon take the stage and the crowd goes wild. So crazy that its deafening. And Im
right up there with them. I cant believe Im here! In Madison Square Garden with this
gorgeous man who loves me in floor seats listening to King of Leon play. I sing along to their
songs, and Jase nibbles my air when Sex is on fire comes on.

Oh the things Im going to do to you, he whispers in my ear.

I smile back at him. I cant wait, sexual desire evident in my eyes.

After the song stops, the fontman, Caleb grabs the mic and looks in our direction.

OKAY GUYS. WE HAVE A FRIEND, WHO WANTS TO DEDICATE THIS SONG TO HER. SOPHIE
JACOBS, THIS GOES OUT TO YOU, FROM OUR GOOD FRIEND JASE.

The band turns our way with Caleb giving Jase a quick salute and Jase waving back.

Oh my god, Jase got them to dedicate a song to me?

I look back at Jase in disbelief who just stares back at me with a shy smile.

The melody of Wait for Me starts playing and the crowd goes wild again. It was the song I
remember the most with Jase, it was the song he first played in the car, and it was when I
realised I had strong feelings for him.

You did this, for me? I ask with shock.

He nods. Yep, I remember it playing in the car when I first held your hand. And it explains
exactly how I feel. You know Im not the best with words .

I jump back into his lap and kiss him through the entire song. Our eyes only on each other.
Losing ourselves in our private universe.

I dont know what our future holds, I dont even know how were going to figure out the
whole living apart arrangement since hes all over the place with work and now, so am I.

I know Jase is not the best with words, and I know he will need time to adjust. To not be
afraid that Im not going to go anywhere. But I love him, and his declaration of love for me
was a huge step for him. I know it wasnt easy opening up about his past, but he loves me.
And with love and trust, we can get through anything.

After the concert ends and were able to go backstage to meet the band, we decide to head
back to Jases luxurious penthouse apartment. Were barely through the door before we
start kissing and ravaging each others bodies. I feel Im high on life, a feeling of ecstasy
having this man kiss me up and down and making me wet with the idea of him inside me.

He slams me against the wall and starts grinding into me, hes erection evident.

He grabs my ass and I wrap my legs around his waist, my short dress riding all the way up.
He rips my underwear off and buttons his pants, letting his bulging cock free.

He looks at me with hunger in his eyes, and my breath comes in short bursts, anticipating
the feel of him in me.

Your mine now Sophie. All of you. This pussy. Your heart. Your ass. Your entire body inside
and out, is mine. And tonight Im going to love you the way you deserve. Im going to
fucking love you senseless. And with that, he slides his throbbing hard cock inside my slick
wet pussy and thrusts in and out of me. A beautiful and pleasurable torture that lasts
throughout the entire night.
Epilogue

Two years later

I look out of my hut that overlooks the turquoise water that seems to glisten like diamonds
in the sun.

Jase brought me here for our two year anniversary, and its the first time we have come up
for air after all the crazy sex weve been having. I just cant get enough of him. I love him like
crazy. And Jase has finally learnt to relax enough to know Im not going anywhere.

After his declaration of love back In New York, we moved in together after a couple of
months. Spending so much time apart due to work was driving us nuts, we missed each
other so much so now I live with him in LA for the six months, and New York for other half.
And I fly wherever I need to be for work in between. It hasnt been easy, but weve made it
work. And being out here in Bora Bora, just the two of us with no work distractions has been
pure bliss.

I lay there in my white bikini on the sun deck, taking in the sunshine and eating all the lovely
fresh fruit weve had delivered. I see Jase walking out of the room taking a seat next to me.

You really shouldnt wear that bikini, otherwise Im going to have to take you right here,
he says with intense eyes, so green theyre almost the same colour as the water here.

I smile at him and give him a kiss on the cheek. Hey baby.

But he looks nervous; I can see it in his body language. Hes fidgety and avoiding eye contact
as much as possible with me. I notice him get up and pace around the deck a few times
before coming back to me.

I start to get nervous. Ive never seen Jase like this, and my stomach is starting to form
knots. Whats wrong Jase, youre scaring me.

He kneels in front of me and looks at me, concern etched all over his face.

Oh god, whats happened?

Sophie, he says taking one of my hands. Since Ive met you, youve turned my life upside
down, in the best way possible. Youve understood me when I couldnt express my emotions
in words. Youre patient and kind, loving, smart, driven, and downright stunning that you
knock the air out of my lungs each time I see you. I love you with everything I have and I
cant lose you. Youre mine. And I want it to be that way for the rest of my life. I want us to
grow old together, holding each others hand like we are now. Youre my rock, and I dont
want to spend a second without you. I love you so much baby.
He pulls his other hand out from behind his back, exposing a small black box. A box that
would a fit a ring. He opens it and sure enough there it is. A ring. But not just any ring. A
stunning Emerald cut ring which is absolutely huge, and is encased by a halo of diamonds.

Kneeling down on one knee, he asks me the question every girl who is love with her man
dreams to be asked.

Sophie Jacobs. Will you do me the honour of being my wife and allowing me to love you
every day for the rest of your life? Please dont say no, this ring cost me a fortune, he says
with a cheeky smile.

I giggle and laugh and cry, tears streaming down my face. I cant believe this is happening.

Yes, baby, yes of course, I love you. Yes! I squeal to him while Jase slowly places the
engagement ring onto my finger.

I hug him with tears streaming down my face and he swirls me around like a doll.

He pulls back and kisses me slow and deep. I Love you baby.

And with that we lay there on the deck kissing and hugging and laughing at each other
before ending up in the bedroom where we dont leave until late in the afternoon.
 Playlist

Fast car Tracy Chapman

The Monster - Eminem

Blue Jeans Lana Del Ray

I Think That She Knows/Lovestoned Justin Timberlake

Tunnel vision Justin Timberlake

Blurred Lines Robin Thicke

Get mine, get yours Christina Aguilera

Sex on Fire Kings of Leon

Addicted to you- Avicii

Happy Pharrel Williams

Counting Stars OneRepublic

Hold on, Were Going Home - Drake

Stay Rhianna

Let her go - Passenger

Love lost temper trap

Wait for me Kings of Leon

Resolution Matt Corby

About the Author

Emily is a 20 something female living in Sydney, Australia with her husband.

She began her career working in the Communications industry but decided to throw it all in and start
her own business.

On the side, she enjoys reading and travelling, and any form of water sports. You will find her buried
in a book with a cup of tea, or trying to surf with her husband and failing miserably!

She loves positive people and those who work hard to achieve the ir dreams.

To get in touch with Emily, you can email her at: emilycommers2@gmail.com

Thanks!