LEADERSHIP COMPETENCIES

Chris Vergatos

APRIL 29, 2017

BRADLEY UNIVERSITY
ENC 606- Dr. McCloud
Self-Awareness

My own self-awareness is something that I have become more understanding of in recent

years. As a child, my self-awareness was not as developed as it is today. I think, like most

children, I was too wrapped up in my own personal endeavors to ever really look at myself and

think, I need to change that. Throughout high school my self-awareness was expanded when I

began to think of what I wanted to do after I graduated from high school. It wasnt until my

junior year during the fall semester, that I began to really look at who I was as a person. In a

deep discussion with my friends, I was able to realize that there were things I did, that I wasnt

proud of and I wanted to change, so I could feel content with who I was as a person. Some of

these minor changes, such as how I judged others or how I viewed my schoolwork, were easy to

do once I became self-aware that there was a dilemma taking place inside myself.

I was brought up to be a caring person, and though I dont feel that I have ever truly lost

sight of that, I do think that during my first few years in high school I wasnt necessarily being

true to myself or the person I wanted to be. After realizing this, I began a deliberate process of

changing these things so I could find some inner peace with who I was. I think that high school is

a time where many young people become self-aware and realize who they are as a person and

also what they want their lasting impact on the world to be. For me, I realized that I did

thoroughly enjoy helping people and talking through issues and problems with people and I

reflected back on my abilities to make people feel comfortable. When thinking of what impact I

wanted to leave on the world, I thought a lot about my grandparents on my mothers side. Both

of them were life-long educators and dedicated their lives to teaching and positively influencing

others. When I thought about teaching, I was aware that they didnt get paid much, but I knew

that I would be surrounded by different people each day and that I needed to be in a profession

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that dealt with building relationships with people in order to foster a positive experience for

every party involved. Naturally, teaching fit everything I wanted in a career. I knew that family

was something that was also very important to me, so knowing that teaching was a profession

that my family had been highly involved with, I havent doubted my decision to go into

education.

My own self- awareness has changed since coming to college and my experiences in

Peoria and at Bradley have definitely shaped my own self-awareness. I have learned that it isnt

about where you come from or what you say that defines who you are, but it is what you do and

how you leave your mark that truly defines you as a person. Since coming to Bradley and leaving

all of my friends and family in Tennessee, I have been exposed to so many great opportunities to

reflect on what it is I want to do with my life and where I see myself in the world throughout my

lifetime. Times when I felt stuck in the smaller, mid-western city that I have called my home for

the past 5 years have been outweighed by my understanding that I am laying the groundwork and

building the scaffolding for the rest of my life. Seeing friends and other people my age

experiencing different places and cultures through social media, I have sometimes felt like I have

missed out on what the world has to offer. When I think about it more in-depth, I realize that my

unique experience at Bradley and the rare opportunity of receiving my graduate degree for free is

something that I cant take for granted or complain about though it has put some of my other

desires on hold for the time being. I think being self-aware to the point that I am dedicated to

finishing my degree at Bradley and take advantage of an opportunity to receive my Masters

degree at an early age says a lot about my own self-awareness. I feel that if I wasnt as self-

aware, I would have seen the opportunity as a good way to spend another year in Peoria, while

my girlfriend finished school and then we could have move to another area and began our post-

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graduate lives together. When determining if I was going to stay the last year to finish my

degree, I thought about my own study habits and how I might lose those if I was removed from

higher education for an extended period of time. I also knew that there would not likely be

another opportunity like the one I was presented with. After a bit of inner conflict, I became

confident that it was what I wanted to do and it is what is best for me.

Self-Management

Self-management is one of the leadership competencies that I have been able to work on

since being in college, though I did develop these skills early in middle and high school, but with

a little more help from my parents. Since college was the first time I was truly away from my

family on a consistent basis, my self-management skills reflected my academic performance

throughout my undergraduate experience. I was nervous going into college that I would get too

involved in social activities and my grades would suffer. I went to almost every single class,

unless I had a valid excuse to miss and I was able to balance my academics and social life, even

while living in a fraternity house for two and a half years with forty other people. When it came

time to study or finish homework, I knew that I wouldnt be able to function in a noisy, dirty

environment that the fraternity house offered, so I utilized my self-management skills and found

quiet places around campus to work. Though I think I have strong self-management skills, there

are definitely some areas that I need to improve to maximize my leadership competency of self-

management.

The biggest problem I face when assessing my self-management competency is my

procrastination. Though I have always done well in school and was able to graduate Magna Cum

Laude, something I have continuously struggled with is putting work off until the last minute.

Over the years the stress that procrastination brings me has been overwhelming sometimes, and

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even though I always meet my deadlines, I am more stressed than I need to be because I do put

work off. I have tried to become less of a procrastinator, but I havent really felt the negative

consequences on my work, so it has been hard to adjust. Procrastination is a problem that many

people have to deal with on a regular basis, but there are different levels to my own

procrastination. When I have a big assignment that takes multiple days to complete, I give

myself those extra days and will have it complete to meet expectations by the deadline. But I

rarely ever start an assignment or project right when it is assigned. Being proactive in school and

work is something that I try to do. I have noticed that when it comes to work, I am very

proactive, but with school work, I tend to procrastinate more often than not. I do well in my

classes and produce good work, so it makes it harder for me to change my procrastination habits

and though I have been able to adjust a bit since I started at Bradley, there still needs to be moves

towards improving on this leadership competency.

Another issue that I face with self-management is utilizing my time efficiently and

effectively. Through my graduate assistantship, I work 20 hours a week and am enrolled in nine

credit hours at the university. Though my classes are rigorous and engaging, I still find myself

having a lot more free time than I had originally anticipated. With this free time, I usually put my

work off until the weekend, and instead of utilizing my time during the week, I find myself

having to work on homework all weekend to make sure I stay on track and turn in my

assignments on time. So instead of utilizing my time with something productive such as

homework or job applications or other professional/personal related areas that could benefit later

down the road, I used to play video games or watch television. Though I have made

improvements to this since starting my graduate assistantship in the fall, I still have room to

grow and utilize my time more effectively. I feel that I have made progress because during the

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fall semester I just played video games or watched Netflix when I got off of work, but now I use

that time to either reflect outside away from technological stimulation or I will look up teaching

jobs and cost of living for different places that I am looking to move after I finish my graduate

degree. Though I still dont do much homework during the week, I have changed the way I

spend my time so at least I am able to get some value out of the activities that I choose to engage

in, rather than numbing my mind with video games or reruns of television shows. I still have a

long way to master the leadership competency of self-management, but with a undergraduate

degree and a variety of experience in the education field, I am content with my self-management

skills at this point. Though I strive to constantly improve, I believe that gradual improvements

are better for building good habits over time than trying to drastically change a lot of my habits

right away.

Social Awareness

Social awareness is one of my stronger leadership competencies and I think that my

personality reflects my social awareness. I enjoy making people feel comfortable and social

awareness has a lot to do with that, in my opinion. I think a lot of my social awareness can be

attributed to my upbringing. When I was younger, my parents would have a lot of dinner parties

and adults over to the house. Even as a toddler, they taught me that there was a time to speak and

that it was rude to interrupt adults when they were talking. When I tried to be your typical

toddler who wanted attention, I was not given it and had to understand that it was the way things

were. After getting upset at first I soon realized that it wasnt going to change, and as I grew up

my involvement in adult settings was turned into listening and participation when I had

something worth adding to the conversation. I think that this greatly helped shape my

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understanding of social awareness, but it is not the sole factor that helped me develop this

leadership competency.

Every school I have attended required me to meet a majority of students who hadnt gone

to the school that I came from. My middle school was brand new the year I started 5th grade, so

many of the students from my elementary school were not there and so I had to adapt to making

new friends. From middle school, I went to a public magnet high school that I was not zoned for,

but received acceptance of admission through a lottery system. At the high school, there were

even less students that I knew who were from my middle school and I had to adjust to meeting

new friends, again. Meeting new people helps a lot with being more socially aware. Because you

have to be understanding of experiences and perspectives of new people, you have to be socially

aware or risk saying something that comes off awkward, conflicting or even boring, depending

on how you want to be perceived in the social setting. Social awareness also has to do with

common sense in a lot of regards. For example, some jokes are inappropriate depending on the

setting. Being socially aware can be the realization that perhaps a family restaurant isnt the best

place to tell a crude joke that you might share with friends and family in a private setting. Social

awareness doesnt just have to do with what you say, but also how you say it. If you are at a

movie theater, being socially aware could mean not talking loudly during the movie because you

know it will upset the other movie patrons. Social awareness can be seen in every day small talk,

too. Being socially aware in the office space might be avoiding to talk about politics with

someone who you know has a strong opposing opinion on the matter or bringing up a social

issue that is controversial.

My own social awareness needs some improvement, though I do think I do a very good

job of being in tune with my social awareness. The areas that I need to work on regarding social

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awareness are related to how loud I can be without knowing it and also the appropriate time to

voice some of my opinions and thoughts. I can be out in a group social setting and sometimes I

naturally try to dominate the conversation or speak up without realizing my voice can be heard

across the whole restaurant or bar. Being a very opinionated person, sometimes I can fail to hold

my tongue and make a comment that either creates a tense or awkward social setting. Knowing

that I might have a different perspective than some of my colleagues or friends, I need to be

conscious of that and work to improve how I gauge social settings and determine what would be

appropriate or inappropriate to say. Some might argue that point and say by not voicing your

opinion or getting involved in a situation that you are being complacent and thus supporting or

enforcing an idea that is not true to who you are as a person, but I would disagree with that. From

my own personal experience, I dont think constantly voicing your opinion changes peoples

minds on a subject. Persuasion happens when people like the person trying to persuade them and

that is a lot harder if you come off to a social group that you are hostile or conflicting with their

viewpoints from the very beginning. Social awareness is a leadership competency that allows a

leader to better understand the people that they are going to be leading without compromising

their position as someone who can connect with the group.

Relationship Management

Relationship management is another one of the leadership competencies that I feel I am

good at. Relationship management has to do with managing your relationships with others,

whether it be a spouse, co-worker, subordinate, employer, friend, family member or even a

stranger you meet for the first time. How you deal with people in social or private settings relates

to your overall relationship management skills. As a leader, relationship management is

extremely important and requires a lot of patience, understanding and ability to adapt to

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situations that might arise unexpectedly. Relationship management is one of the more prominent

leadership qualities that can be observed by others because it directly correlates with how you

treat other people. Are you intense, demanding and lack flexibility or are you empathetic,

understanding and level-headed? It might be easy to see which type of relationship management

skills might illicit more appealing responses from a team. Regardless, in order to be an effective

leader the way you interact with others on a regular basis needs to reflect the ideal atmosphere

that you want to create in your personal or professional life.

My own relationship management can be broken down into four basic groups: Romantic,

friends, family and professional. My personal romantic relationship with my girlfriend has been

one that I continue to work at since I first met her. Since it is my first official romantic

relationship, there are some adjustments I have needed to make to adapt to the changes that came

along with that. Being an understanding person and listening to what she has to say, whether it is

an issue at work or a personal matter, is something that creates a sense of mutual trust and

respect between us. Also, by being flexible with plans and different setbacks that can arise

throughout a long term relationship is something that I have gotten better at since we started

dating over two years ago. As we get ready to move in together, I know that relationship

management will become a little more hectic and perhaps more difficult, but we are very good

about how we treat each other even when we dont see eye to eye. We never yell at each other

and if we do get upset with one another, we are sure to address the situation at some point before

the day ends so that no problem goes unsolved and carries over to the next day. Compromise has

been a big component of that and in any relationship compromise is key to reaching a common

ground and allowing for negotiations to take place.

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 Relationship management with friends is something that I have also had some good

experience with. Though most of my friends came from affluent family backgrounds, there were

always times growing up when money became an issue for things we wanted to do like go to a

movie, a fair or any other activity that required financial support. My dad always told me to

never let money get in the way of a friendship because money was easily replaceable, while

friendships could be easily destroyed because of money. Knowing that I would have more

financial means to do activities than some of my friends, I would always just cover them on

things without having them pay me back or without constantly mentioning it to them. By

eliminating the financial component from situations and never arguing about who owes what in

different settings, I was able to focus more on the relationship between friends as opposed to the

financial aspect that went with it. The advice from my father is still the way I look at

relationships now with my friends. If we want to go out for a drink, but one of our friends

doesnt get something because they are low on funds, I will automatically buy them a drink so

they can engage with the group on the same level and not feel ostracized from the activity.

Though I think I manage my friendships very well, I think I can make some improvements.

Sometimes I tend to dominate the conversation or try to make all of the plans, but if I can work

on sharing a bit of the discussion or the planning behind an event, I will be able to solidify some

friendships that I have that arent as strong and be able to build on the friendships that I currently

have.

Relationship management with family is a bit more complex because other components

come into play because of the connection you have with those people. Growing up, I was taught

the importance of family and since I have become an adult, I have viewed family in the same

light, but my interactions with family members have changed. Now that I have some real-world

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experience and have graduated college, I feel that I can contribute information or ideas to the

group, more so than when I was younger. I have the utmost respect for my family members, so

the fine line of being friends with my family requires that I watch what I say around them, as

not to offend them. Things I say with my everyday friends are going to be different than what I

discuss with my family, simply because the relationship is drastically different and the

components that comprise each of those relationships change depending on the person you are

interacting with. Overall, I think my family management is good and I have a positive and, in

some cases, mentoring relationship with my family members who can offer advice, criticism and

praise without extrinsic motivation. The feeling of having a secure and stable family relationship

is uplifting and provides me confidence to go out and make them proud of the work I do.

As a leader, managing relationships in a professional setting is something that will

happen at some point in any career path that a person chooses. My own experience with

relationship management in the professional setting can currently be seen in my position as a

graduate assistant in the admission office. Not only am I the newest member to the team, but I

am also the only one who is grouped with the admission staff but isn't fully an admission

counselor. Due to working part time, I am given some of the main responsibilities of an

admission counselor such as presenting on the university, meeting with families and going to

college fairs at high schools in the area. However, I don't have the more mundane responsibilities

that come with the admissions counselor position. This can create a tense or complicated

relationship between some my coworkers because I do less work, but still get credit for doing

well in the collective email chains. I also have to manage the professional relationships that I

maintain with current undergraduate students who are tour guides. Though I'm not their boss and

am technically still a student at the university, I maintain professionalism when interacting in the

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office because of the position I am in. I also am friends with some of my colleagues in the

admission office, but there are some that I know strictly on a professional basis, so being mindful

of what I discuss and with whom is something I am always conscious of. I don't want to be put in

a position where a colleague is upset and uses personal information that could lead to being

reprimanded by a supervisor. An improvement I could make in my professional relationship

management is to limit my eagerness and excitement around the office. Sometimes I feel I come

off too strong to some of my colleagues and it might have a negative effect of being seen as

immature or unprofessional. Overall, I think my relationship management skills in the

professional setting are good, but like all of the leadership competencies listed, there is room for

improvement in my own life. Being a leader is something I feel comes natural to me, but being in

tune with these leadership competencies will directly impact how I am viewed by the people I

interact with and how I assess my own leadership qualities throughout my lifetime.

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