OCTOBER 2017

MAKE n you afford

ur lifestyle?

HINT: IT'S ALL

IN THE SHOES
SURE
U CAN
THE RIS
PORN
Inside the
How far would yoou go offices where
for the perfect shhot? nything goes

FAMOUS EXCLUSIVE

IN 30 DAYS NICOLE
The crazy way one
writer did just that
LAID BARE
THE SIX LESSONS
10 THAT MADE HER
9 770141 055283
WWW.COSMOPOLITAN.COM/UK *Brains and a GSOH help too
Contents On the cover
40 NICOLE LAID BARE
OBER 2017

The six lessons that made her

68 HOW TO MAKE IT BIG!
Hint: its all in the shoes
112 SURE YOU CAN WATCH
PORN Inside the offices
REPRESENTS, USING EX1 COSMETICS. NAILS GEORGIE SMEDLEY AT NAIL HARMONY UK, USING GELISH. FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD. NICOLE SCHERZINGER WEARS TOP, 44,
COVER PHOTOGRAPH MATTHEW EADES. FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. HAIR DAYARUCI AT ONE REPRESENTS, USING BATISTE STYLIST. MAKE-UP EMMA OSBOURNE AT ONE

where anything goes

SAINT JAMES. EARRINGS, 19.99, H SAMUEL. SHOES, 55, CONVERSE. THIS PAGE: NICOLE SCHERZINGER WEARS JACKET, 495, ELIZABETH ILSLEY AT LIBERTY. DRESS, PRICE ON

126 FAMOUS IN 30 DAYS The crazy

way one writer did just that
132 THE RISE OF SELFIE
SURGERY How far would
you go for the perfect shot?
140 UBER, ASOS, DELIVEROO
Can you afford your lifestyle?

Know
17 SPINNING AROUND Not
a hymn to Kylies finest hour,
but the rise in sister TV shows.
(BTW we would totally watch
Meet The Minogues)
19 HOT RIGHT NOW! Beauty
has a goth moment (self-penned
sad poetry non-essential)
20 BANANA EYES The new
eyeshadow trend has us
feeling all fruity
23 WELL, HELLO THERE
REQUEST, TODS. EARRINGS (JUST SEEN), 175, BY MALENE BIRGER

Game Of Thrones Finn Jones

24 CONFESSIONS Was wearing
your granddads trousers ever
going to turn out well?
28 DRONE ON Selfie taker of
dreams or accessory of idiots?
30 FAST TRACKED The new music
stars getting an A-list leg-up
33 GHOST STORIES The writers 40
Scherzys
behind the celebrity memoirs back. Deal
and their other books with it
36 THE COMPASS This months
cultural ups and downs i

C O S M O P O L I TA N 5
Contents
126
Want to be famous?
Do it doggy
style
Wear
53 STYLE SUMMIT Why trekking
to the corner shop is so hot
right now
54 PERFECTLY SUITED Tailoring
has had a high-fashion
makeover and it looks good
63 HEY, HOW DO I WEAR
Top-to-toe-colour? Heres how
66 THE JEANIUS Amy Bannerman
hails denims serious side
Glow
77 STROKE OF GENIUS A brush
with fragrace guru Jo Malone
78 IS YOUR FOUNDATION
LYING TO YOU? Our beauty
director runs the fib detector
over outrageous base claims
85 INGE HAS ISSUES with
embracing your spots. Nope,
were not wild about it either
86 BEAUTY LAB Tried and
tested peel-off masks
Earn
89 VINTERVIEW READY The
future of job applications
6 C O S M O P O L I TA N
168
We present the
ultimate travel
hacks
90 THE BUSINESS OF
CELEBRITY Earn big bucks
as an A-list insider? Were in
96 SELF MADE Career smarts from
Bleach salons Alex Brownsell
97 WANT TO CREATE A
BEAUTY EMPIRE? Sign up
for our new Self Made Session
Move
101 BRING YOUR DNA-GAME
Finally! A genetic excuse to
eat Monster Munch. Maybe
102 IN FOCUS Stay sharp with
CEO-approved work hacks
106 SUPER MOVES The workout
that could get you Rosie H-Ws
body *checks small print*
108 WHAT THE TECH A highly
scientific haul to supercharge
your workout
Read
120 DANGER ON DEMAND Why
the sharing economy could be
putting your safety at risk
144 NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK
Nu-grunge style, as worn by the
catwalk faces of the future
159
Discover a
new lust for
learning
Lust
159 BACK TO SEX SCHOOL
Warning: the subject matter
may start to get, ahem, hard
160 MY BEST SEX EVER WAS in
front of an audience. Show-off
161 WORST DATES EVER Meet
the man who attempted to
make getting a flu jab sexy
PHOTOGRAPHS MATTHEW EADES, LIZ GREGG, TONY KELLY FOLIO ID/TRUNKARCHIVE.COM, JOHN GRIBBEN
162 FIRST LOVE Two words:
unfinished and business
Play
167 ANYTHING FROM THE
MINIBAR? Room (self) service
168 RIGHT PLACE, RIGHT TIME?
Maximise your O-O-O plans
174 ALL UP IN MY GRILL Weve
made melted cheese even better.
Next up: world peace
179 DESIGN DOUBLES The
hottest threesome of the year
And the rest
11 FROM THE EDITOR
12 MEET TEAM COSMOPOLITAN
186 COSMOPOLITAN CONTRACT
The country wedding
 FROM THE
EDITOR When I was 12 years old, I was given a book by
my elder brother called The Outsiders. On the cover
was an image of a bunch of scowling young men
in scuffed leather jackets. It wasnt really the sort of book
you give to a young woman on the cusp of puberty but still,
I read it, mainly because there wasnt much else to do in those
days. (No YouTube. No Instagram. No female-orientated
gaming consoles. I mean, really can you imagine?)
This book, however, changed my life. Because while it
was indeed a novel about a group of teenagers toughing
life out on the streets of Oklahoma, it was also a book
about the dead end of childhood. I was floored.
Literature has a funny habit of doing that exposing
the world and all its complex, unspoken ways long before
parents or friends or even lovers have had a chance to break
it to us. I learned about sex long before I had it (thank you,
Judy Blumes Forever, the one battered copy passed around
my classroom like a relay baton). I learned about love and
the loss of it through F Scott Fitzgeralds The Great Gatsby,
just as my own heart was breaking. I learned about injustice
by reading To Kill A Mockingbird, and about loss and regret
through just about every Raymond Carver short story out
there. Words on a piece of paper may not be as thrilling as
a flashy filter or a pithy cat meme, but they can be more
powerful. Because books (and features like the ones you
find in this magazine) help us make sense of the outside
world, while forcing us to look inside ourselves.
So why am I sharing this with you? Because, not so long
ago, I received an email from a young English teacher who,
she explained, was faced with no longer being able to offer
English literature at A-level. When I asked why not, she said
PHOTOGRAPH IAN HARRISON. HAIR AND MAKE-UP SHARI RENDLE
it was useful any more. (This, by the way, isnt just the case
in the quiet corner in which she lives, but across the country.)
But useful has many guises. On the surface, books and
words and thoughts passed from one mind to another may
not appear to give us the competitive edge we all crave in
todays world. But that is to miss the point entirely.
Because to stand out in todays crowded marketplace, we
need people who can look inwards as well as those who can
look outwards. We need thinkers just as much as we need
doers. And we need writers and students of A-level literature
just as crucially as we need coders and brilliant scientific
minds. Its the very reason why we need left-wing politicians
just as much as we need right-wing ones, and why in
meetings we need a devils advocate just as much as
we need a cheerleader. Difference drives conversation,
and conversation drives
momentum. And really, theres
nothing more useful than that.
4 Keep in touch by following me
on Twitter @Farrah_Storr and FARRAH ST

it was because of a lack of interest. No one appeared to think Instagram @farrahstorr Editor-in-Chief

THE GREAT TESS OF THE THE FOREVER

LIFE GATSBY DURBERVILLES OUTSIDERS by Judy Blume

LESSONS by F Scott
Fitzgerald
by Thomas
Hardy
by SE Hinton
Did boys
FROM I was 17 when I read this Like most teenage girls,
It takes a
teenager to understand
really call
their penises Ralph?
BOOKS book, and reeling from
the end of my first
I was desperate to be
considered beautiful.
a teenager. SE Hinton was
17 when she wrote this
Could you really break
your hymen with a
The novels relationship. It taught And then I read this and book about the end of tampon? This book
that shaped me as much about class realised the heavy burden adolescence. I thought I answered all of lifes
my outlook as it did about love. arresting beauty can bring. knew it all, until I read this. most pressing questions.

C O S M O P O L I TA N 11
 RANDOM
QUESTION
OF THE MONTH
What was your
worst fashion
moment?
FARRAH STORR
Editor-in-Chief
PA to the Editor JESSICA BROWNING

I loved luminous Deputy Editor SHOSHANA GOLDBERG Creative Director STUART SELNER
D
tights until the FEATU R ES
day I wore a yelloww Features Director AMY GRIER Senior Editor CATRIONA INNES
pair and builders Junior Writer JENNIFER SAVIN Features Intern DANIELLA SCOTT
shouted at me, Oi
oi, Simpson legs! E NT ER TA I N MEN T Who knew w
Entertainment Director LOTTIE LUMSDEN Austin Powers
ense
fashion se
DESI GN
was actuaally
Art Director VICTORIA HORN
by me?
inspired b
Senior Designer HARRY WINFIELD Designer JESSICA LOCKETT

PI CTU R ES
Picture Director CAT COSTELLOE Picture Editor NICOLE HOLCROFT-EMMESS
Prretty sure GRO UP ED ITOR I A L PR ODU CTI ON
hose pink
th Workow Director CATHY LEVY Chief Sub-Editor HANNAH JONES
co
owboy boots Deputy Chief Sub-Editors STEPHANIE JACKSON, SAMANTHA DE HAAS
arre still in my Senior Sub-Editor FRANCESCA COTTON
ams loft I
co
ouldnt bear to B EAU TY
Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN Beauty Editor CASSIE POWNEY Th
hese boots
paart with them. were made for
Contributing Beauty Editor BECCI VALLIS Beauty Writer LUCY PARTINGTON
w
walking into
FASHI ON th
he bin. Do I
Fashion Director AMY BANNERMAN Senior Fashion Editor SAIREY STEMP get points for
Bookings Editor KIAAN ORANGE Fashion Assistant MADDY ALFORD accessorising
COS M O POLI TA N .COM/ U K w
with crisps?
Digital Editor CLAIRE HODGSON Fashion & Lifestyle Editor JESS EDWARDS
News & Entertainment Editor ANNA LEWIS Beauty Editor VICTORIA JOWETT
Social Media Manager LAUREN SMITH Senior Writer CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER
Writer DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT Fashion & Beauty Writer LAURA CAPON
Sex & Relationships Writer PAISLEY GILMOUR Social Media Assistant & Writer CHARLOTTE WARWICK
Multimedia Producer ALEX HERING Snapchat Animator CHARLOTTE TEMPLE

CO NTR I B U TOR S
The red snakeskin JESS HURRELL (Interiors) AMANDA STATHAM (Travel)
trousers I wore forr Editorial Business Manager MERRICK CASSANOVA
my hip-hop dance e
recital aged 15 P UBLIS HER
were a pretty boldd GEORGINA HOLT
statement, no?
Group Sales Director BEN GILES
Head of Digital Sales HAYLEY COCHRANE
B
Brand Development Director ALISTAIR WOOD
Head of Business Management LUCY PORTER
Head of Project Management ALEXANDER STANHOPE
Head of Events and Sponsorship VICTORIA ARCHBOLD Events Manager LEAH LESSER
Director of Clients ALISTAIR HOLT, LAURA CHASE, DENISE DEGROOT
Commercial Content Director VICTORIA WHITE
Head of Creative Studio CLARE OSULLIVAN
Regional Business Development Director CLARE CROOKES
Head of Consumer Sales & Marketing MATTHEW BLAIZE-SMITH
Head of Subscriptions JUSTINE BOUCHER Subscriptions Marketing Manager VICKY CHANDLER
Subscriptions Marketing Executive VICTORIA GREENWOOD
Head of Marketing Promotions CHARLOTTE CUNLIFFE
Digital Marketing Director SEEMA KUMARI
PR Manager BEN BOLTON Production Director JOHN HUGHES
Production Manager ALICIA GRAY Senior Ad Production Controller PAUL TAYLOR
H EARST M AGAZ INE S U K
Chief Revenue Officer DUNCAN CHATER
Director of Communications LISA QUINN Chief Operating Officer CLAIRE BLUNT
Chief Digital Officer PAUL CASSAR Marketing & Circulation Director REID HOLLAND
Chief Operations Director CLARE GORMAN Director, Hearst Brand Services JUDITH SECOMBE
Acting Head of Editorial Operations SOPHIE WILKINSON HR Director SURINDER SIMMONS
I mean, its
ook
definitely a lo
PR ESI DEN T A N D CEO
JAMES WILDMAN
HEA R ST MAGA ZI N ES I N TER N ATI ON A L
Senior Vice President/CFO and General Manager SIMON HORNE
Senior Vice President/International Publishing Director JEANNETTE CHANG
Senior Vice President/Editorial Director KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN
Deputy Brands Director CHLOE OBRIEN
Fashion/Entertainment Director KRISTEN INGERSOLL
International Editions Editor JACQUELYN GALGEY
Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) HELEN GURLEY BROWN
I N TER N ATI ON A L EDI TI ON S
Editor, Argentina MARA JOS GRILLO Australia CLAIRE ASKEW
Brazil CRISTINA NAUMOVS Bulgaria Chile IGNACIA URIBE China YVONNE LIU
Croatia ALEKSANDRA ORLI Czech Republic SABRINA KARASOVA
Finland STINA MANTYNIEMI France MARIE LA FONTA Germany ANJA DELASTIK
Greece Hong Kong RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING Hungary JOHANNA SABJN
India NANDINI BHALLA Indonesia FILISYA THUNGGAWAN
Italy FRANCESCA DELOGU Kazakhstan Korea HYUN JOO KIM
Latin America PAULINA CANALES LPEZ Latvia Lithuania VIOLETA KALIKAUSKIENE
Malaysia Middle East BROOKE DALLOW Mongolia Netherlands ANNE MARIJE DE VRIES
LENTSCH Philippines MARLA MINIANO Poland HANNA WOLSKA Romania DIANA COLCER
Russia POLINA SOKHRANOVA Serbia NASJA VELJKOVIC Slovenia MANCA AMPA PAVLIN
South Africa Spain CECILIA MZQUIZ HERRERO Sri Lanka Turkey OZLEM KOTAN
Ukraine OLEKSANDRA BURYNSKA USA MICHELE PROMAULAYKO

This magazine can be recycled either through your kerbside

collection, or at a local recycling point. Log on to Recyclenow.
com and enter your postcode to nd your nearest sites.
Cosmopolitan is a member of the Independent Press Standards Organisation. We abide by the Editors Code of Practice and are committed to upholding the highest standards of journalism. If you think we havent met
those standards and want to make a complaint, contact complaints@hearst.co.uk or visit hearst.co.uk/hearst-magazines-uk-complaints-procedure. If we are unable to resolve your complaint or youd like more information
about IPSO or the Editors Code, call IPSO on 0300 123 2220 or go to ipso.co.uk.

12 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 IF AND HAPPENING, ITS ..
WORDS DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, ALAMY, ISTOCK, 3DGOODPLACE.COM, NETFLIX, WARNER BROS, SKY/HBO

SPINNING AROUND
Weve all experienced the emotional crevasse left in our lives when
a favourite TV show comes to an end. (Hands up whos still watching
SATC reruns as part of their Sunday morning hangover repair kit?) Which
is why were delighted that TV execs have declared spin shows the next
big thing. What are they? No prizes for guessing theyre basically spin-
offs of our favourite series. This September, The Big Bang Theory throws
in a follow-up, Young Sheldon, HBO are currently working on not one, but
FOUR Game Of Thrones offshoots, and a spin-off of Jude Laws The Young
Pope, called The New Pope, is in the pipeline with Sky and HBO. The dream?
An Orange Is The New Black spin show: Friday Night With Crazy Eyes.

17
 NARS Audacious Lipstick in
Kirat, 26 Newsflash: purple
lips arent just for punks any
more. Badass attitude, Guerlain Black Perfecto by
however, is optional. La Petite Robe Noire EDP, Real
3ina The Fluoro 46.50 for 30ml You know Techniques
Pencil, 8.95 Slicker that sexy scent when a Soft Shadow
than your average whiff of rose bounces off Brush, 15
liner: stick your your knackered leather Tapered
lids under UV light jacket? This is that, bottled. petrol-blue
and theyll turn bristles place
electric blue. Club powder on
Tropicana or what? skin in all the
right ratios.

Jo Wood Usiku
Natural Wax Jessica Custom
Candle, 44 Nail Colour in
Burning the candle Very Vinyl, 11
at both ends? Light Lead-grey nails
this. The hot ginger = super chic and
and cardamom less bolshie than
aroma will keep black. Your nana
you fired up. will approve.

Hot
right
Charles Clarins Double
Worthington Serum, 57
Radiance Twist once for
Restore a single shot,
Environmental twice for a
Protection Mist, double. Like
6.99 Charcoal vodka, except

now!
detoxifies and it rehydrates,
UV filters protect not dehydrates.
hair shall be
harmed no more.

This month, beauty

takes a trip to the dark
side. Mwah-ha-ha

Dr Frances Prenna
WORDS BECCI VALLIS. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIOS/PAVEL DORNAK

Jones Konjac Rimmel Stay

Sheet Mask, 68 Matte Liquid
for four Perfect Lip Colour in
for planes, this Pitch Black,
will silence the 5.99 Yes,
annoying person everyone
next to you and wants to look
stop the air con like theyve
drying out skin. been sucking
on Liquorice
Allsorts.
Origins Clear
Improvement
Active Charcoal
LOVES Exfoliating
+ 2 01 7 +
Penhaligons Portraits Cleansing Powder,
Monsieur Beauregard EDP, 25 Dirty is the
When you see beauty 178 for 75ml Wed take this new clean youll
products with this logo spicy scent just for the lid. be rinsing the
anywhere, you can be Think expensive carrot cake sink as much
guaranteed they are with buttercream icing. Drool. as your face.
Cosmopolitan-beauty- 19
team-approved.
TRY THE
TREND
Banana
EYES
Nail the new fruity eyeshadow shape
1 GRAPHIC
STAMP
DIFFICULTY 3/3
Bold curves of colour were
the eye order of the day on
the A/W 17 catwalks. And
at Prabal Gurung, we met
floating liners bitchy sister:
a sharp-edged effect so
unapologetic its practically
sticking a middle finger up.
Apply bright powder using
a wet eyeliner brush to
intensify colour, advises
Sarah Lucero, global
executive director of creative
artistry at Stila Cosmetics.
You can use a make-up
remover-soaked cotton bud
to get the edges sharp. Muji
do the best pointy ones for
this. Go for a rustic red or
orange, adds Lucero. True
red will only fight against
any redness in the skin.
2
DOUBLE
DECKER
DIFFICULTY 2/3
Periwinkle blue is the most
wearable bold, according to
20 C O S M O P O L I TA N
PRABAL GURUNG A/W 17
2 1
3
OSCAR DE LA RENTA A/W 17
Kiko High
LUCKY
Pigment STRIKE
Wet And Dry DIFFICULTY 1.5/3
Eyeshadow MAC make-up artist Lucy
in Matte
Coral, 4.80 Bridge applied an arc of skin
adhesive above the crease of
NYX Glam Liner
her models eyes for the
Aqua Luxe Collection Sadie Williams A/W 17
in Glam Platinum, 6 show, patting on some silver
3D glitter to complement
Lucero. Its the go-to the disco-queen theme. For
colour for bridesmaid a quick-and-easy copy, use
dresses, so go figure. Apply silver liquid liner instead,
a creamy-textured eye pencil Stila starting at the bridge of the
Spectrum
Smudge
over the lid and blend it out Stick
Angled nose and following the
Eyeliner
with your fingers for that Waterproof
Brush A09,
curve of your eye crease. WORDS CASSIE POWNEY. PHOTOGRAPHS JASON LLOYD-EVANS
edgeless effect. Liquid-line Eyeliner in Brush your brows up and
4.99
Periwinkle,
the eye with an equally 14.50 fill without adding too
sun-bleached bright, says much shape there are only
Lucero. A purple-pink
will make your blue pop
without clashing. Keep
3 so many hard lines one face
can take. Oh, and be sure
to blot your eyelids before
SADIE WILLIAMS A/W 17
the rest of the face nude attempting any of these
and natural, dabbing
a cream blush onto the
apples and into the
hollows of your cheeks to
keep full focus on the eye.
looks. The skin there is
deceptively greasy you
dont want to blink away
your hard work before
youve had your first drink.
 Whoorwhatisyourgreatestlove?
Music. I like old-school disco and house.

Whatdoyoustillnot
understandaboutwomen?

FinnJones
I don
dontt buy into the stereotype of a
woman. There isnt [actually] much to
understand because we are the same.

An actor whos into disco, cats Lasttimeawomanmadeyoucry?

A year ago when my ex-girlfriend
and crying? Whats not to love? and I broke up. I love a good cry.

Worstdateyouveeverhad?
HIS VITALS I dont really date. The idea of going
on a date where I have to be like, My
Age 29 name is this, Im from here, is strange.

Home town
Bromley, Kent
Whatareyouscaredof?
I used to be afraid of loneliness. As
Big break an actor, youre forced into isolation
Being cast as Loras because you move around a lot.
Tyrell in Game Of
Thrones in 2011.
Mostromanticthingyouve
everdone?
Crazy fact #1 I took my ex to Amsterdam and we
Finn originally had a nice walk and then dinner.
INTERVIEW LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPH MATTHEW PRIESTLEY

auditioned for the

part of Jon Snow on
the show, but lost
Weirdestcrush?
I used to really love my cat, bordering
out to Kit Harington.
on fancying her. She was a Bengal
and they are really sexy.
Crazy fact #2
His real name
is Terence, but he
Whowouldyouliketobestuck
changed it when he inaliftwith?
became an actor to No one. [Lifts] make me feel awkward,
avoid confusion with so I want a lone one where I can sing
Monty Pythons to myself and have a little boogie.
Terry Jones.

Catch Finn in The Defenders on Netix, out now C O S M O P O L I TA N 23

 Because
sometimes
life is
stranger
than
ction

PANTS ON
When I was CHUCK-UP LINES
younger, my uncle
HIRE EATS, DUMPS AND LEAVES
would collect me I was at a restaurant for a seven-course Myauntwasholding
from school. One day I was meal with a guy Id been dating. During the acharityeventand,
wearing my granddads asitwasmainly family,
trousers (Id been staying at starter, he said he didnt think we should
his) and we decided to race see each other any more, so I got up to go. Ienteredthehotdog-
home. The trousers fell clean
He said, Can you not ruin the evening? We eatingcontest and
off revealing my underpants
to the entire school. Took have six more courses. I made my exit won.Aguyfound it
a long time to live that down.
while he enjoyed his salad course. impressiveand invited
MICHAEL, 21, MODEL,
NEW YORK NICOLA, 31, EVENT PRODUCER, SYDNEY
meout.Excepthalfway
throughourdrinks,
HEARING THINGS
One of my best friends had just broken up with her boyfriend of six years, then slept with a
thedogsreappeared.
total sleaze four days later. I was gossiping about it at work, while holding my phone, and forgot
about the mic button on WhatsApp and sent her a recording! Weve only just recovered.
Theshame!
CLAIRE, 24, MARKETING ASSISTANT, LONDON KIMBERLEY, 21, MODEL
AND BANKER, LONDON

24 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 BAD HAIR
I was at
a restaurant and
DAY
when I got up to
go to the loo, the waiter
followed me and blurted,
I want to shampoo your
AS TOLD TO DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO.
BROUGHTON. WITH THANKS TO THE HOXTON (THEHOXTON.COM)
hair, shoving his number
HAIR AND MAKE-UP EMILY-JANE WILLIAMS, ASSISTED BY LILY
into my hand. I did not call.
INGRID, 21,
PHOTOGRAPHER, ITALY
RUDE AWAKENING
I got dumped by a guy
Id been seeing for a few
months. He told me it was
because his girlfriend had
woken up from her coma!
JESSICA, 27,
JOURNALIST, READING
WALK OF FAME
CRASH AND DASH IWASONHOLIDAYIN THAILAND
My girlfriend and I were drinking together ANDWENTHOMEWITH THIS
at Oktoberfest. She leaned in to give me GUYAFTERANIGHT OUT.
IWOKEUPATHISIN JUST
a hug and we ended up falling into the
ATINYDRESSIDLOST ONE
bar. We would have been fine except it
SANDALANDTHEBIKINI I WORE
was a pop-up. The whole thing came UNDERNEATH.IHAD TO WALK
HOMEPASTNUMEROUS BOAT
crashing around us bottles smashed, TRIPS,WHOCHEERED ME ON.
everything. Worst PDA ever. LENA, 26, ACCOUNT
KEVIN, 26, ACCOUNT MANAGER, MUNICH MANAGER, HAMBURG
SCUSE MY FRENCH I lived in France for a while to learn the language, and I hooked up
with a local. It was great, but there were some language barriers. Once, when we were
talking dirty, he started getting upset. I thought he was going to cry. It took me ages
to calm him down and work out that when Id called him sexy, hed thought Id said sexist.
ANNIE, 24, LANGUAGE STUDENT, CAMBRIDGE
C O S M O P O L I TA N 25
 P t Mam
M bo Mini
Drone (79.99)
Looks like A frien ndly plastic
space spider.
What does it do? It hovers!
It shoots tiny balls! Theres a
grabber! It cant quite
e fetch you
a bacon sandwich, bu ut can take
a note to someone who might.
Up and running in FiveF
minutes, maximum.
Selfie skills? Not goingg to lie,
we already have a bette er tool
for selfies: the human arrm.
Picture quality? Makes us u
Is it a bird? Is it a plaane? Will it take a feel nostalgic for the earlly
days of camera phones.
Best feature: So much indoor
fun potential. That file you
wanted, Linda in HR? Landing
on your desk in 3, 2, 1...
Worst feature: The battery
dies quicker than a background
extra on Game Of Thrones
(nine minutes).
Park-perving ability? Minimal.
More likely to attract a crew of
10-year-olds who think youre
in the new Star Wars film.
Likelihood of a crash?
CURTAINS! MIND THE
CURTAINS! Oh, too late.
How far can it fly? 20 metres.

decent sele? We toook the best amateur Parrot BeBop Drone

drones out for a spin n 2 (379.99)
Looks like A B-list Doctor
Who monster called The
Penguin of Death.
What does it do? Flies high
and resists strong winds. Plus
GPS and visual recognition
are available for an extra 20.
Up and running in 20
minutes. All that cash and
you still have to fit the
propellers yourself, FFS.
Selfie skills? Not just good
Kardashian-level good.
Picture quality? Best of the
bunch. Has a fish-eye lens, too.
DJI Spark (519) Best feature: The smartphone
Looks like Matte and sleek, like a allows it to swoop and
app
a fancy vibrator (dont, just dont). twwirl; its basically drone ballet.
What does it do? Launches from La asts for 25 minutes, too.

WORDS LAUREN BRAVO. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES/SHUTTERSTOCK

your hand via facial recognition
and responds to hand gestures.
Basically a pet, without the poo.
Up and running in 10 minutes.
Selfie skills? A+. The swivelling
gyroscope nails that flattering
downward angle every time.
Picture quality? A bit grainy, but
better than your dads Insta feed.
Best feature: The gesture
control makes you feel like Yoda.
Worst feature: Return home
Worst
W feature: Downloading
photos is a right faff.
p
Park-perving
P ability? Like
ds t rocketing upwards, thhat one friend we all have:
ng ith your blood pressure itll fix you up, but it wont
ng ability? That roving
k-p rving g be
b quiet or subtle about it.
camera? Your new wing woman. Likelihood of a crash? Relax,
Likelihood of a crash? Release its strong and stable (and
the controls and shell hover probably
p loves a wheat field).
mid-air. Whos a clever girl then?? H far can it fly? 300 metres.
How
How far can it fly? 1.2 miles with
h Iff only you could send it ahead
remote, 80 metres with the app. too bag a table in the pub.

BY THE WAY... There are tight laws and restrictions on flying drones in public places, and new rules recently announced
that enforce registration and safety awareness training. Always stay safe and do your research first. Visit Dronesafe.uk

28 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 NEW
MUSIC
Fast tracked
Theres a few new names on the music scene. Their USP? Theyre all championed by
even bigger stars. But can you really trust those celebrity angels? The verdicts in
KACY HILL
Head cheerleader
Kanye West.
Whats the story?
Hill was part of a
performance troupe
on his Yeezus tour.
Kanye heard one
of her tracks and
signed her. The fact
shes a former the same label, Dirty
American Apparel
model has nothing
to do with it, OK?
Sounds like? Woozy
pop songs about
love, sexuality and
womanhood. Lifes
small shit, then.
Her look A bit
Fifth Element:
a blunt red bob
and porcelain skin.
Random fact
Shes obsessed
with Harry Styles.
Listen Her album
Like A Woman
is out now. Kacy
tours this autumn.
30 C O S M O P O L I TA N
And the
protgs that
plateaued
ESME
DENTERS
JT signed the
singer to his
label in 2008,
but after failing
to light up the
charts, she was
dropped in
2012. Cry me
a river, etc.
THE JAPANESE CHLOE X HALLE DAVE MAGGIE
HOUSE ROGERS
Head cheerleader Head cheerleader Head cheerleader Head cheerleader
The 1975. Beyonc. Drake. Pharrell Williams.
DANITY KANE
Whats the story? Whats the story? Whats the story? Whats the story?
The girl band
Matt Healy from The Teen YouTube 18-year-old rapper Pharrell mentored
Diddy put
1975 was introduced sensations whose gets his track Wanna music students at
together on
to one-woman band Beyonc covers Know remixed on New York University
Making The
Amber Bain through caught the eye of Drizzys radio show. last summer. A video
Band in 2008
a friend and helped Queen Bey herself Hysteria ensues. of his amazement
failed to make
get her signed to and landed them (Daves version got at Maggies song,
an impact
a contract with 12 million views.) Alaska, went viral.
they later
Hit, then took her her label. Sounds like? Sounds like? A
accused him of
on tour. Nice chap. Sounds like? RnB Emo-grime. Dave folk-dance hybrid.
leaving them
Sounds like? Her meets jazz meets raps about love, She grew up playing
debt-ridden.
androgynous vocals pop, with a helping panic attacks and the banjo, but
meant, for a while, of Sasha Fierce- his mum. Standard. discovered house WORDS CLARE THORP. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, ISTOCK
people thought she style sass. His look A man music during a gap
was The 1975 in Their look... Twins. who knows what he year in Europe.
disguise. Head f**k. But theyre actually likes: a nicely fitting Her look The
Her look sisters with nearly jumper or T-shirt millennial version STARSHELL
Heavy Kurt Cobain two years between and a pair of jeans, of Joni Mitchell. Yes, Mary J
influences, down to them. They wear Ivy with a knee rip. Random fact She Bliges protg
the prominent roots Park a lot, of course. Random fact Hes has synaesthesia, a made headlines
and Breton tops. Random fact a musical all- condition where the this year, but for
Random fact Her Michelle Obama rounder, playing senses are muddled, allegedly having
name is inspired by is a huge fan. Grade 7 piano. meaning she hears a fling with
a holiday home she Listen To their Listen To his colours. Who knew? the singers
visited in Devon. mix tape, The Two latest track 100Ms. Listen To her then-husband.
Listen To her EP, Of Us. World Dave will be on tour latest song, The nerve!
Saw You In A Dream. domination awaits. later this year. Split Stones.
 Ghost
stories
Loved that novel by a celebrity? Now read
a book by the person who actually wrote it
THE THRILLER
Cara Delevingne / Rowan Coleman
The Book
Mirror, Mirror*
Described as a
collaboration
between the
model/actress
and her favourite
author, Mirror, Mirror follows
a group of 16-year-olds who
are in a band together. All is
well, until one of them dies
in mysterious circumstances.
WORDS CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, PRESS ASSOCIATION. *NOT FINAL COVERS
Impressive, with an absolute
knockout twist.
Liked that? Now read
The Memory
Book by Rowan
Coleman See
Colemans real
prose in action
in this genuine
tear-jerker of
a novel about
a young woman who is
diagnosed with dementia
and whose husband gives
her a notebook to record her
memories for her children. As
devastating to read now as it
was when it was published
back in 2014. Packing tissues:
absolutely essential.
THE MEMOIR
Rio Ferdinand / Decca Aitkenhead
The Book
Thinking out
Loud* Remember
sobbing to
BBC Ones Rio
Ferdinand: Being
Mum And Dad in
March? In this follow-up, the
footballer shares whats helped
him get through the death
of his wife, while raising
two children. His aim is to
encourage more men to speak
out about their own grief.
Liked that? Now read
All At Sea
by Decca
Aitkenhead
A devastatingly
honest memoir
in which
Aitkenhead
explores her own
grief surrounding the
unexpected death of her
partner, Tony, in 2014. The
Guardian journalist is one of
the most accomplished writers
in the business and writes
beautifully this book about
loss will make you laugh as
much as it will make you cry.
Celebrities are known for being
some of the busiest people on
the planet, yet somehow these showbiz
troupers still have time to fit in writing
a bestseller. The secret: a ghostwriter, a
BOOKS
sometimes invisible wordsmith who can
craft the most scintillating prose out of
even the most monosyllabic of subjects.
This month, as we welcome Cara
Delevingnes and Rio Ferdinands books
to our bedside tables, we unveil not only
the people who helped write them, but
the other titles theyve put their names to.
THE SELF-HELP THE FASHION TOME
San e rg / Adam Grant Victoria Beckham / HHadley
dl FFreeman
The Book The Book
Option B That Extra Half
When Sandberg An Inch
lost her husband Remember 2006?
suddenly, she When WAGs ruled
turned to her old the World Cup
friend Grant a and we all wore
psychologist whose insight dresses over jeans? This was in
helped her recover. Together VBs pre-fashion-designer years
(hes credited as a co-author), (when she had beige hair and
they combined her personal lips). Tips such as accessorise
experience (with parts of her with a Gucci carrier bag and its
journal) and his research to crucial jeans are long enough
create a manual for moving on. abound. Read for laughs only.
Liked that? Now read Liked that? Now read
Originals: How Be Awesome:
Non-Conformists Modern Life For
Change The Modern Ladies
World by by Hadley
Adam Grant Freeman If you
Theres a reason devoured Caitlin
this book was a Morans How To
New York Times Be A Woman,
bestseller and lines the youll appreciate this lighter
bookshelves of pretty much version, which explains
every CEO the world over. everything from guiding friends
Grant dissects what it means through break-ups to the
to become and be an original lessons movies can teach you.
thinker in a world of sameness. Warning: there are a lot of 80s
Big brownie points if the references, so anyone born
boss sees this one poking north of 1979 may want to keep
out of your bag. Wikipedia close to hand.
C O S M O P O L I TA N 33
The Compass
Pointing you in the right cultural direction this month

1349

Floating our boat

THE GRIM RIPPEER WHATSSPAWN
Bill Nighy plays Why must there be a group
a Victorian detective chat for every occasion, full
hunting a grisly mu rer of people you dont know,
in The Limehouse Golem. Bonus:
B whose opinions (and emojis)
Douglas Booth is also involved. you dont care about? MUTE.

BEEAUTY COURIERS IKEA COUTURE

Heeres hoping your office This trend for making
hair reclines for the Glo
ch everything from bra tops
Paamper squad, wholl prep to dresses out of the 40p
ou deskside for your Friday
yo Swedish laundry sacks is
daate with the hot IT guy.
g y stressful and sweaty.

LLAMA DRAMA FIDGET SPINNE RS

Unicorns are making a swift You know a fads gone
g too far
exit theres a new animal when PornHub reports over
on the block. Global trend 2.5 million searchees
predictors at WGSN claim
pred for Fidget Spinnerr
theyyll be on everything soon. on their website.

SNOW ROOMS AVOSOCKS

Ever wondered what itd be like For 11.50 you can ripen your
to hang out inside a giant Slush avo in just 24 hours with the
Sinking our ship

Puppie? Visit Champneys Forest woolly Avocado Sock. Or,

INSTAGRAM/@FRANKIECOLLECTIVE, SHUTTERSTOCK, TESCO.COM
Meres indoor snow chambers, save cash and stick it next to WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS ALAMY, GETTY IMAGES,

the latest in circulation-boosting.

g a mouldy banana instead.

BARDOT CHIC FANNY GLITTER

Frank Spencer, Samuel L Jackson, C Che Health alert: doctors are
Guevara: let these be your unlikelyy warning against Passionn
icons, as Dior proclaims the beret Dust. Whats that? Oh, ju
the height of autumn style. Feeling glitter capsules you pop
brave? Go leather like Rihanna. your vagina pre-sexx.

36 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 WIL
D

SEXY

BEING NICOLE
 CELEBRITY

U N N Y
F

COO
L

S C H E R Z I N G E R...
Shes come a long way since
making pancake mix last a
week and buying clothes at
garage sales. Here, NICOLE
SCHERZINGER reveals the private,
painful lessons shes learned i
WORDS LOTTIE LUMSDEN
PHOTOGRAPHS MATTHEW EADES
 unchtime, and Nicole Scherzinger is
singing Led Zeppelins Black Dog very
loudly. Its accompanied by bursts of
spontaneous dancing, bottom-shaking and
finger-clicking. Its an astonishing show,
not only for the fact that Nicole has a pair
of lungs on her to rival Pavarotti, but also
for the fact that she appeared on set only
a few hours earlier, bleary-eyed and
clutching a pillow to her chest.
Babes, I am exhaauusssted, she her younger sister to Kentucky, in
groans, when we sit down later over the US, where she married Nicoles
a glass of Chardonnay. I have been stepfather. It was there that she realised
working on The X Factor for the past she wanted to be a singer. So much so
month non-stop. We have very late that at primary school she investigated
nights because we are all on Mr secondary schools she could attend
Cowells schedule. I thought I was a that would forge a path for her to be
diva until I got back on set with him! accepted at Louisvilles nearby Youth
This month will see Nicole return Performing Arts School. From there,
to screens as a judge on the 14th series she went to the Wright State University,
My father was a welder, and my
mother had me when she was 18. She
did so many jobs to raise me. I really
value money now because I saw how
deeply stressed my parents were about
it when I was growing up. I never got
to buy clothes at a normal shop we
had to get them from garage sales and
second-hand shops. My mum still
styled me up really cute, though
I remember the first time I went to
a Gap warehouse [as a teenager] where
everything was half price she was
like, Who spends 25 on a pair of
jeans?! She was so upset with me.
To put myself through college,
I did everything from working
on a make-up counter to singing
opera at an Italian restaurant called
Macaroni Grill. [The poorest Ive ever
been] was at college, and I used to give
blood to get money. For food, I used
to make these pancakes where you just
added water, because they were filling.
But its given me an appreciation for
everything in life. Everyone makes

PREVIOUS SPREAD: DRESS, SARA BATTAGLIA. BIKINI TOP, CALVIN KLEIN AT URBANOUTFITTERS.COM. UNDERWEAR, M&S COLLECTION.
of the reality TV show, alongside and was later hired as a backing vocalist fun of me because Im still very careful
Simon, Louis Walsh and Sharon Mrs by rock band Days Of The with my money. I never

O Osbourne. While some would
argue that the panel has lost some
of its original dazzle and pith, Nicole,
however, has been the one to bring
the excitement. Shes the judge
backstage hugging and hand-holding
each of her acts, and it is her
tremulous eyes the camera pans to
when a young performer fails on
stage. Why? Because Nicole has been
there. She knows the sting of rejection
and the hardship of struggle. She
understands the complicated burden
of fame and the lacerating treatment
from both the industry and the media.
Nicole is a hustler who slogged it out
for years before becoming a household
name with The Pussycat Dolls in 2005,
following the release of Dont Cha.
She has made her own money, built
her own brand of fame and found her
own unique way of navigating it all.
Born in Hawaii, Nicoles parents
split when she was very young. Her
mother later relocated the singer and
New. Two years later, in
2001, she auditioned for a
new reality TV series called
Popstars, which followed I really value
the creation of a girl group,
Edens Crush. She got onto
money... I dont
the show and made the take anything
band. It was off the back
of their success that she
for granted
auditioned for The Pussycat
Dolls after turning down
will.i.ams offer to join
the Black Eyed Peas.
Im completely different now to
when I first started out, Nicole laughs.
I was a precious dainty hibiscus, and
now my hibiscus has teeth and thorns.
Here, she shares what she wishes shed
known about life in her twenties.
WHAT IVE LEARNED
ABOUTMONEY
Its not like I grew up in a third-world
country, but I didnt come from money.
SUNGLASSES, N21 X LINDA FARROW. EARRINGS, H SAMUEL. TRAINERS, CONVERSE. THIS SPREAD: DRESS, VANESSA SEWARD
take anything for granted.
The most exciting thing
Ive been able to buy
is my house in Beverly
Hills. And right after that
I bought my mother
somewhere in Hawaii,
because Ive always said
that everything I have,
my mother is going
to have, too.
WHATIVE LEARNED
ABOUTMY BODY
Im way more accepting of my body
now. I was always very critical of
myself from a young age, and when
I was 14, I started running. I would
go outside in the middle of the night
and run, because I thought I had to
be thinner and that my thighs should
look a certain way. When I got The
Pussycat Dolls, it really amplified that
because it had so much to do with i

42 C O S M O P O L I TA N
CELEBRITY

43
CELEBRITY

showing your body off. If you look at
pictures from back then, I was the one
wearing trousers or a suit although
I would show my shoulders or wear
a bra top. But you should embrace
and accept yourself more. Dont be so
hard on yourself, and love your curves.
[I suffered from bulimia when I was
younger.] It was very imprisoning and
it stole all of my happiness, confidence
and memories. A big part of that was
during The Pussycat Dolls. I have a lot
of fans and I never wanted to come
out about it, because I was ashamed.
Its a sickness and I suffered it for years
and nobody knew about it. But once
I finally did come out about it,
I realised how many people it had
helped. When youre in the public eye,
you have a voice. I dont have it any
more, and I feel like its a miracle.
Every woman has good and bad
days. Mrs O and I were joking the
other day that sometimes we wake
up in a puddle of cookies and crisps!
But what really helps me is working
out. Even if its not for very long,
[I love] to get a sweat on to keep
me focused and positive.
WHAT IVE LEARNED
ABOUT FAILURE
I try not to use that word. Failure
is not an option, which is why
I always put 110% into everything
I do. Ive always been a perfectionist
as a little girl, if I drew outside the
Around that time, will.i.am asked
if I would be in the Black Eyed Peas
I knew him through Edens Crush.
But my then-fianc [Nick Hexum,
lead singer of former boyband 311]
turned it down, bless him. Im grateful
he did, because I wouldnt have been
in The Pussycat Dolls. Everything
happens for a reason, and Fergie
made the perfect Pea.
Its about how you look at things
who is to say youve failed?
Everything is a learning curve and
these things happen to guide you to
your ultimate destiny. I always think
of Walt Disney who went to 300 banks
to get support [for his Mickey Mouse
idea], and he got turned down by
every one. Thats not failure, thats
preparing you for greatness.
WHAT IVE LEARNED
ABOUT CAREER Who is to say
I wish I had actually enjoyed being youve failed?
in the moment more in my twenties.
I was always thinking about what
Everything is a
I could do next and how I could be learning curve
better. But then I am a hustler
anyone who is successful has to be,
because its not going to happen
on its own. You always have to look
forward and stay on top of things.
We couldnt afford for me to go to own. Ambition is incredible, you
vocal or dance lessons, so in primary need it to get anywhere in life.
school, I found out that if I went to
a specific secondary school that was
in the projects [an area with social
WHAT IVE LEARNED

lines when I was colouring in, then
I would tear up the paper and throw
it across the room.
At high school, I created a demo
tape, and my boyfriend, who was
studying photography, shot me [for
the sleeve] so that when I auditioned
for Popstars, I had something to give
them music and pictures and
information about who I was. After
that, I was trying to get a solo deal and
I went to New York with my demo
tape and I was shopping it out, trying
to get a break and I couldnt. But I
never gave up that wasnt an option.
housing] in Kentucky, then I could
get into the performing arts school
I wanted to go to. I love my family and
they have lots of love, but I never had
anybody to buy me a car or put me
through school. I did all that myself
by working, so thats grafting in itself,
making it happen on your own.
When I got offered The Pussycat
Dolls, I said, I will be in the group,
but I want a solo deal as well. I knew
that was my dream. I didnt realise how
big The Pussycat Dolls was going to
be. Anybody who has made sacrifices
knows that you have to do it on your
THIS SPREAD: TOP (JUST SEEN), SARA BATTAGLIA. GLASSES, LINDA FARROW
ABOUT LOVE
You need to love yourself first.
That is the key to true happiness.
Its the most clichd thing, but you
cant be happy with someone else
until you are happy with you. And
thats honouring yourself, getting to
know yourself and embracing yourself.
I actually just did a workshop [with
the life coach Tony Robbins], called
Unleash The Power Within. Only
then can you love the other person.
Im still working on that.
[Its also easy] to lose yourself
in relationships. And I did. I have

44 C O S M O P O L I TA N
completely lost myself [at times].
Its unhealthy. If you listen to my
album Big Fat Lie, youll hear all
about it, because a lot of my songs
on there are about that. But then thats
not to say that great things arent
worth it. If they are, then you should
stick it out, but it takes hard work.
Im all about that and so are my
family they all believe that once
you get married, you stay married!
WHAT IVE LEARNED
ABOUT DISCRIMINATION
When I started out, it was hard
because I was often typecast for
acting roles due to my skin colour
and what I looked like. That was very
frustrating. I wouldnt get the part
I was after at auditions because [the
casting agents] wanted me to be the
quintessential Spanish person, or the
all-American girls sidekick. I was
never the all-American girl [to them].
I even wrote a song about it, called
I Left A Piece Of Me For You [sic],
which I havent sung in 20 years.
You would think it was about the
most heart-wrenching relationship
which it was, but it was my
relationship with the industry, saying
I give so much of myself to you.
I remember calling my mother
and my tutu [grandmother] in
Hawaii when I first moved to Los
Angeles, and saying, Im done with
LA. Im coming home. But I didnt extra hard to earn respect.
and I never gave up. Music worked
out better for me. Over the years,
though, Ive had to [earn] peoples
understanding and respect for what
I do as an artist and vocalist.
People dont realise that The
Pussycat Doll albums were my babies
I did everything from executive
producing to vocally arranging
them. It still frustrates my friends
and family when they hear people
say, Oh, wow, she can sing? I have
studied my craft and there is meaning,
heart and soul in what I do. People
can overlook you and think youre
just some senseless pop star who
cant really sing. If you come to one
of my shows, you would never think
that. I feel like girls have to work
The X Factor returns to ITV
on 2nd September i
C O S M O P O L I TA N 45
 CELEBRITY
CELEBRITY

NicoleScherzinger 2017: Penny, Dirty Dancing

remake, ABC

2016-present: Judge, The X Factor, ITV

2010: Wins US TV show Dancin
With The
e Sta
Stars

2009: The Pu
rs

Pussy
ssycat
cat Do
Doll
cing
g

lls go on a hiatus
I can empathise with the contestants,
HOME

because Ive been there myself. But, 2005: The Pusssycat Dolls release Dont
because of that, I am tougher on Cha. It goes to nnumber two on ththe
them I know what it takes if you Billboard Hot 100
want to make it. I wish I could go back
b in time and tak
take
e
it all in more. It hap
ppened
pp d so fast. The
2016: Voice of Sina, Moana Pussycat Dolls are a big
b part of who I am.
I have always wanted to be a Disney I would love to tour att the right timee
character. It was a riot recording in I miss having a girl gaang around.
the studio. There was one scene where
MY CV

I needed to sound like I was running
towards Moana to give her a hug.
I closed my eyes and lost myself in
the moment and ended up on the
other side of the room nowhere
near the mic. Everyone laughed.
2003: Becomes lead singe er of The
Pussycat Dolls
I heard about the auditionss through
my friend Anna-Maria from Ed dens
Crush. She asked to stay with me m in
LA because she was trying out for f

REPRESENTS, USING EX1 COSMETICS. NAILS GEORGIE SMEDLEY AT NAIL HARMONY UK, USING GELISH. FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD
FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. HAIR DAYARUCI AT ONE REPRESENTS, USING BATISTE STYLIST. MAKE-UP EMMA OSBOURNE AT ONE
this band. I said, I want to auditioon,
2014: Big Fat Lie album released too! Without her, I wouldnt have
INTERESTS

been in the The Pussycat Dolls.

2014: Grizabella, Cats, London
2012-2013: Judge, The X Factor
2011: Judge, The X Factor USA
(replaced Cheryl Cole)
2011: Releases debut solo album,
Killer Love
After The Dolls, I recorded so
AWA R DS
2001: Edens Crush release debut
single, Get Over Yourself
I moved to LA with Edens Crush
and had to grow up a lot. We went
on tour with Jessica Simpson and
*NSync, and I got a lot of recording
experience out of it. I learned a lot.
2001: Auditions for Popstars. Wins

many albums and I wish I could a spot as a finalist in girl group

have put them out for the fans.
They were my babies, and I worked
with everyone from Kanye West to
Timbaland. It would have been nice
to share them. It was hard when
that music didnt come out, but
I got to release a few in the UK.
REFERENCES
Edens Crush
It was a jarring experience going from
a sheltered life to living with a group
of girls I didnt know and having
a camera there. But it was awesome.
1999: Vocalist, Days Of The New

E D U C AT I O N
Major in Theatre, Minor in Dance, Wright State University, Ohio
I started to get lead roles, and the other students were like, Were not having that.
I spoke in a high-pitched voice to be less threatening. I wanted people to like me.
Youth Performing Arts School, duPont Manual High School, Kentucky
Id always felt different, but here, everyone was so accepting of each other.
Bowen Elementary, Kentucky
I was incredibly awkward and shy. People used to call me a cry baby at school,
because I was so sensitive. Sensitive and a perfectionist a toxic combination.
 SOMETIMES ITS WHATS ON THE OUTSIDE THAT COUNTS
WORDS AMY BANNERMAN. PHOTOGRAPH DENNIS PEDERSEN. WITH THANKS

STYLE SUMMIT
Nobody walks any more. Walking is so last
season. Its hiking and all its accoutrements
that have conquered the catwalks this A/W
17. The two Canadian pioneers who head
TO COLDMOUNTAINKIT.COM, CASTLE-CLIMBING.CO.UK

up Dsquared2 had their models wearing

fluoro outdoorsy laces, scout-style sewn-
on badges and soles as thick as tank tyres.
But this is fashion hiking, dear readers, so
you mustnt actually break out in a sweat.
We suggest that other than trekking to and
from Starbucks, these are also good for
kissing very tall people, holding on to the
high rail on the Tube and, ahem, reaching
top-shelf magazines. (See more brilliant
boots on page 68.) Boots, 840, Dsquared2

C O S M O P O L I TA N 53
Remember in romcoms
when the plain, sensible
heroine gets a smoking-
hot makeover? Well, thats
tailoring this season.
Prepare to fall in love

Senior Fashion Editor

SAIREY STEMP
Photographer
DANIEL NADEL

suited
Jacket, 59.99, Reiss.
Top, 251, Equipment.
Jeans, 54.95, Gap

 Jacket, 30,
Axparis.com
Trousers, 120,
Modern Rarity
at John Lewis
SHOP
ME NOW
Top, 155,
LK Bennett
Bracelet,
169, Karl
Lagerfeld
Watch, 150,
Komono

Top, 53,
Twist x Turn
Trousers, 38,
Night River Island
I land

club
If its always night-time somewhere in the Earrings, 59,
Bag, 270, Kate
Spade New York
world, eveningwear is officially never off-limits. Karl Lagerfeld

Want to wear a tuxedo jacket with jeans and not

look like Clarkson? Heres how

Psst... Workplace dresscode more sensible and

less sequined? A statement evening jacket is your
Boots, 42,
Bracelet, 39, Guess
best weapon for throwing on over office basics V by Very at
Jewellery at H Samuel and being immediately big-night-out-ready. Very.co.uk

Jeans, 245,
Current/Elliott
at Net-a-
porter.com

Jacket, 264,
Intropia.com

Shoes, 130, Hudson

at Veryexclusive.co.uk

Shirt, 155, Cameo at Clutch, 150,

Veryexclusive.co.uk Reiss i

Jacket, 249, Whistles

C O S M O P O L I TA N 55
 Jacket, 250, Reiss

Jumpsuit, 150,
Millie Mackintosh at
Trousers,
Veryexclusive.co.uk
60, Boden

Trousers, 140,
Jigsaw Earrings,
49, Adore
Jewellery

Clutch, 12.99,
New Look

Shoes, 25.99,
New Look
Statement
colour
Alert! New fashion acronym incoming: the LRS
(little red suit) is now a thing. Autumn/winters
Bag, 450,
Aspinal Of hottest colour is having its way with jackets, Jacket, 225,
London trousers and hell, whatever else it fancies Karen Millen

Boots, 189,
Psst... Red on red? Fashion says yes. And if your Kurt Geiger
tones dont match perfectly, thats OK, too. In fact,
this season its known as tonal dressing. A crimson
shell top under a punchy pillar-box suit is perfect

Jacket, 69,
Autograph
by Marks
& Spencer

Shirt, 99,
Baukjen.com

Watch, 79.99,
Timex at
Watchshop.com
Gloves, 26,
River Island

Scarf, 15,
River Island

Jacket, 55, Principles

by Ben de Lisi at Debenhams

56 C O S M O P O L I TA N
Jacket, 65; trousers,
40, both Oasis.
Top, 19.99, H&M.
Earrings, 85,
Dower & Hall i
Jacket, 59.99;
trousers, 79.99, both
H&M. Shirt, 24.99,
Lindex. Beret, 18,
Urban Outfitters.
Earrings, as before.
Boots, 228, All Saints

58 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Shirt, 230, Equipment

Bangle, 59, Guess

Jewellery at H Samuel

Watch,
79.99,
Accurist
Trousers, 39.50,
Autograph by
Marks & Spencer

Top, 34.99, Jacket,

H&M Studio 265,
Reiss
Shoes, 235,
Essentiel
Trousers,
120, Modern
Rarity at
Masculine Antwerp

John Lewis
wis
tailoring
Bracelet, 339, Walk like a man, talk like a... totally enlightened,
Karl Lagerfeld ambitious woman. These pieces are your short Hat, 15, Marks
& Spencer
cut to no-fuss fashion nonchalance. Simple
mannish trousers give maximum style return

Psst... Fashion truth: you can never have too

many white shirts. Collarless, power-cuffed,
Top, 89,
puff-sleeved, oversized they all work, so invest Hobbs
in plenty of variations with our blessing.
Shirt, 14,
George

Trousers,
120,
Jigsaw
Boots, 350, 9,
Top, 59.99
LK Bennett udio
H&M Stud

Bag, 119.99,
H&M Studio i
Earrings,
49, Adore
Jewellery

Jacket, 135,
French Connection

C O S M O P O L I TA N 59
 Top, 22.99, New Look

Gloves,
16, Next
Watch, 209,
Marc Jacobs at
Watchshop.com

Jacket, 60, Jacket, 49.99, Lindex

JD Williams

Check
mate
Squares and heritage fabrics stormed the
Trousers, 45,
catwalks this season in a very polite revolution, River Island
with tweeds, houndstooth and plaid leading the
charge. Snuff box, pipe and flat cap: optional
Bag, 50,
Next

Psst... How to wear a tweed suit without looking like a

Downton Abbey extra? Welcome the zingy coloured
rollneck its perfect poking out from a jacket.
Orange, yellow and purple are top of our list.
Scarf, 22,
River Island

Trousers, 183,
Intropia.com
Jacket, 28,
Miss Selfridge

Jacket,
65, Oasis

Boots, 45
5,
Marks &
Spencer

Shoes, 125, Trousers,

GH Bass 40, Oasis
Jacket, 38, Dorothy Perkins

60 C O S M O P O L I TA N
Jacket, 89; rollneck,
42; trousers, 52, all
Warehouse. Earrings,
198, Dower & Hall

Model Grace at Viva.

Hair Jason Crozier at
Stella Creative Artists,
using Sachajuan for
Kings Of Clerkenwell.
Make-up Rebekah
Lidstone at Stella
Creative Artists, using
Marc Jacobs. Fashion
assistant Olivia Perl
HEY,
HOW DO
3 FOCUS ON
TEXTURE
See how Haileys got three

I WEAR
different fabrics going on?
A silky camisole, gabardine
trench and cotton trackies
play nicely in the same hue
because the textures clash,
therefore breaking up the

Top-to-toe colour? silhouette. Avoid using

fabrics with the same finish
Forget adding just a (jersey and jersey) so you
dont look like youve gone
pop of colour and go out in your PJs.

the whole nine yards

4 SHOW
1 WHY IT WORKS SOME SKIN
Worried that an outfit made up
Another trick to break
of a single colour will leave you
up the wall of colour
looking like a Teletubby? We
is to have flashpoints
promise it will not. The catwalks
of skin. A leg slit, some
this season were awash with
generous dcollet,
TTTC (top-to-toe colour, new
a sliver of midriff,
acronym. Entirely made up use
or a coat slouching
it well). Its a bold look, sure, but
off a bare shoulder
nothing says confident quite as
are all smart ways
beautifully as wearing the entire
to add a visual break.
spectrum of your favourite colour.
A word of caution however: the
difference between looking like
Hailey Baldwin here and Tinky
Winky? A judicious use of
clashing texture and flashes
of skin. Read on to find out
precisely how to pull it off.
5 LAYERING
RULES, OK?
The most interesting tonal
outfits are built from multiple
separates they divide it into
2 COLOUR PLAY zones, prompting the eye
We know youve mastered to scan across the whole
head-to-toe black, but now ensemble instead of reading
is the season to push the it as one big swath of colour.
envelope. Dark shades like Add a rollneck in a paler
garnet, navy or aubergine are tone, or layer a short-sleeved
universally flattering. And blouse over one with a longer
brights, while tricky, can be sleeve in a different hue.
incredibly chic. But for a TTTC
novice, pastels are a fail-safe.
Turn the page for
more top-to-toe
colour styling tips

C O S M O P O L I TA N 63
 4 THE PASTELS
Head-to-toe pastels could look
saccharine, but Gigis grown-up
PSST...
White accessories
shapes elevate the look. Opt for are the perfect
a slim-fit suit, or a tailored trouser palette-cleanser
with a boat-neck top tucked in. for any tonal
What to avoid: ruffles, eyelets look.
and scalloped trims. We mixed our
suit jacket up with flared cords in
a similar hue for a texture clash.

Jacket, 150, Millie Mackintosh.

Jumper, 159.99, Joes Jeans.
Trousers, 50, Urban Outfitters.
Earrings, 22, Doseofrose.com.
Bag, 17, Accessorize. Boots, 79,
Autograph at Marks & Spencer

Gigi Hadid

4 THE BRIGHTS
If youre scared of showing too
much skin, opt for figure-hugging
shapes instead, like Rita. Tight
trousers, with a second-skin top
tucked in and finished off with
a cropped jacket, highlight waist
definition, so youre not drowned
by a single colour. Or let a baggy
jumper hang out just make sure
its paired with tailored jeans and
a heel to add polish.

Jacket, 85, Urban Outfitters.

Jumper, 39, Topshop. Trousers,
34.99, H&M. Earrings, 119, Atelier
Swarovski by Paul Andrew. Bag, 25,
Asos.com. Boots, 65, Office

WORDS AND STYLING MADDY ALFORD. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES. STILL LIFES PIXELATE
Rita Ora

4 THE NEUTRALS
A tonal outfit built around neutral
grey is a winner. Pinstripes feed into
autumns obsession with tailoring,
but pair with bold jewellery or
statement glasses to avoid looking
like an accountant. Remember our
skin-baring rule without the thigh
slit in Bellas dress, her petite frame
would be overtaken with all the grey.
PS. Metallic silver also counts as
a neutral use the texture e to
jazz up your outfit.

Coat, 130, Lost Ink. Top, 19.99, H&M.

Skirt, 25, Monki. Earrings, 48,
Pernille Corydon. Boots, 1115, Dune
Bella Hadid

64 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Calvin
Klein

DENIM
Forget acid wash and rips. Amy Bannerman
shows you how to keep things classy Jacket,
110, Levis
ike a really good friend, split ends and your unpaid

L student loan, denim is always there. It plods along

from season to season, popping up in different
guises, but this winter there is a new denim trend
emerging across the catwalks of all the big hitters
and this time its different. Call it the Calvin
Klein effect for autumn/winter 17, their new designer,
Raf Simons, sent an elegant, super-dark, head-to-toe
indigo denim look down the runway that caused an
Instagram frenzy. But this wasnt double denim as
Jeans, 170,
I And Me

Skirt, 85, APC

we have loved and known it not a sniff of Dolly

Parton in sight, and certainly not a whiff of bleach.

PHOTOGRAPH JANE MCLEISH-KELSEY. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS JASON LLOYD-EVANS, IMAXTREE

This permutation is super, super dark, unfrayed,
non-distressed, with no weird whiskering or patching.
IM
I am calling it serious denim, and it would look just
WEARING
Shirt, 39.50,
as good on a 16-year-old as a 60-year-old. This is Autograph at Marks &
stiffer than normal denim, preferably non-stretch Spencer. Jeans, 215,
Mih. Boots, 395,
so it has a more structured look. The stitching is LK Bennett
classic minimal, neat and brown. The way to
Jeans, 40, Topshop
style it is to continue this feeling of neatness; tuck
and belt it so it feels polished. Also, it doesnt
lend itself to skinnies, due to the lack of stretch, Calvin
Klein
so a straight or wider leg is what youre looking Sunglasses,
for. My favourites are the Mih Phoebes (right). 15,, Next
Because of the stiffness of this type of denim,
you can wear the shirt jacketless, perfect for this
transitional bit of the year where you have no Jumper, 49.95, Unnited
idea what to wear. As it gets colder, just add more Colors Of Benettton
layers, a rollneck underneath (white or red are
especially good), a blanket scarf and some major
shades. So, youre now officially a grown-up
no more cat memes or sweets for you. Belt, 12.99, H&M
Jacket, 46,
Topshop
66 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 39.99,
H&M
SOCK
Sleek enough
for evening,
subtle enough
for day. Fashions
favourite new
545, Pinko
boot shape, you
69, Marks
& Spencer
complete us
610,
Emymack.com 34.99,
New Look

180, Bimba Y Lola

BURBERRY A/W 17
Fill your 39.50,
Marks &
Spencer
27.99,
New
Look

495,
Russell &
Bromley 50,
Schuh
59, Charles & Keith

90,
40, V by Aldo
Very at 39.99,
Very.co.uk Public
Desire 295, Russell
& Bromley

79, Topshop 250, Karen Millen

68 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 235,
THE
Beyond-
skin.com
EDIT
160,
Dune

350,
Karen
Millen

120, Aldo 45, Simply Be

70,
Schuh
130, Aldo
44.99, Public Desire

Probably best to start

clearing some cupboard
space right now

Senior Fashion Editor S A I R E Y S T E M P

ZIMMERMANN A/W 17

OVER-
THE-KNEE
Yes, you aree a
kinky, worlld-
dominatinng
sex kitten
n.
Watch em gget
whiplash aas 20,
you pass Primark

1,780,
Aquazzura

85, River Island 120, Office i

C O S M O P O L I TA N 69
 69.99,
Public Desirre
re

ISABEL MARANT A/W 17

468, See
35, by Chlo at
Peacocks Farfetch.com
170, Dune

48, V by Very at Very.co.uk

SLOUCH
99,
Forget what your
Marks & nan told you. This
Spencer
179, 130, season, its good to
Carvela Office
slouch. Relaxed.
Insouciant.
Chic. WANT

750,
BIKER Loriblu 118, Miss KG
at Kurt Geiger
Stick on a pair of 199,
these stompers Karen
Millen
and watch
yourself kicking
ass without
even trying 65, Nine
by Savannah
VERSUS A/W 17

Miller at
Debenhams

495, Pinko
VERSU

100, Aldo i

90, Schuh

14.99, Studio.co.uk
 150, Hudson at
Veryexclusive.co.uk

HOUSE OF HOLLAND A/W 17

240, Bimba Y Lola

105, Schuh
190, Kanna at
Veryexclusive.co.uk

269, Penelope Chilvers WESTERN

88,
Youve packed
160,
590, Hudson Office up your summer
Isabel gingham, so what
Marant
will you wear to
the rodeo now?
Oh, hello

HIKING
The ramblers
faithful friend
gets a major
makeover. Next:
95, Office
fashion reclaims 315, Sorel at
the eece? Veryexclusive.co.uk

75, Asos.com 120, Aldo

29.99,
New Look

29.50, Marks
& Spencer
DSQUARED2 A/W 17

PHOTOGRAPHS IMAXTREE

48, Dolcis

Asos com
35, Asos.com
35
 YOUR NOBS GUI E O LL THINGS BEAUTY

STROKE OF GENIUS
PA I N T- O N P E R F U M E , W E H E A R YO U A S K ?

Indeed. Fragrance doyenne Jo Malone has declared

the best way to apply your scent is with a brush. Why?
Because rubbing your wrists post-application annihilates
all the top notes, and besides, declares Jo, using a brush
is a far more demure way to distribute scent across skin.
Sure, shes selling highly strokable Jo Loves Fragrance
Paintbrushes (40) but you can do the same by spritzing
your fragrance onto a foundation or paint brush. Just
stick to synthetic bristles natural ones (from animal
hair) soak up the scent. Paint one stripe down your arms
and legs, zigzag a different scent on top, then enjoy your
newfound status as immaculately fragranced goddess.
WORDS BECCI VALLIS. PHOTOGRAPH DENNIS PEDERSEN

77
 IS YOUR
LYING
TO YOU
The latest foundations promise
everything bar saving the world
from nuclear disaster. But how can
they possibly live up to their claims?
Wo r d s I N G E B O R G VA N L O T R I N G E N

hey are matte, but radiant. They give full coverage, THE PROMISE doesnt sound very

T but are undetectable on the skin. They offer LONG-WEAR BUT lightweight to us.
24-hour wear, but wont cake or feel heavy. WATER-LIGHT What theyve done
Seriously? Given the amount of money and Why were cynical In The secret formula has
research spent creating wonder foundations, order for a base to stick changed since you bought
its little surprise the latest generation of bases like glue, a blend of your first foundation. Now,
all vie for your attention by promising to perform small heavy waxes, thickening pigments can be suspended
(and rather paradoxical) miracles. To work out how emulsifiers and sticky in a liquid base of slippery
and whether they can, you might want to get a PhD silicones has traditionally esters (organic compounds
in chemistry. Or you could just read this been required. And that formed by the reaction of i

C O S M O P O L I TA N 79
alcohol and carboxylic acid) THE PROMISE
and lightweight, but hardy, HYDRATION AND
silicones. That film-forming SHINE CONTROL
base is what lets pigments Why were cynical
slick evenly onto skin, after Combination skin? There
which the esters evaporate are new foundations that
and silicones lock in promise to keep dry
place to create an patches hydrated
invisible film. and oily ones
Result:
Women dont matte. A base
staying want to look like with an
power and theyre auditioning actual brain:
weightless thatll be
coverage
to play Ronald the day.
that builds McDonald What theyve
without turning done There is
into cake mix. no one approach
Does it work? Yes. But take here it depends entirely
note: with these liquefied on the foundation. One by
formulas, long-wear need Max Factor deploys a mega-
al full-coverage or dose of glycerine (which
atte. Three to try are: attracts water to the skin but
Este Lauder is non-oily) for hydration.
Double Wear Powders, which mattify but
Nude Water Fresh can potentially be drying,
Makeup SPF 30, are kept to a minimum,
32.50 (the liquid thanks to a film-forming
version of Double polymer that leaves an
Wear Stay-in-Place), invisible top coat to prevent
which stays on and looks them rubbing off. Another,
so fresh even I (a heavy by BareMinerals, avoids
ion-phobe) like it. mattifying powders and BareMinerals foundations is increasing
e more matte film formers altogether. BarePro (who doesnt do their face on
The Ordinary Instead, it coats pigments Performance Wear the bus?), yet women dont
Colours Serum in hydrating, non-oily Liquid Foundation want to look like theyre
Foundation SPF 15, lipids similar to those in the SPF 20, 29, doesnt auditioning for Ronald
5.70, proving skin, making them naturally look flat or dull at all, McDonald The Movie. But
quality can come fuse to your face. Silica and and its side-stepping how the hell can you get
cheap. For serious bamboo extract do the of film-formers is a winner, a solid texture without
cover and oil control, mattifying here without as these can block pores in an equally rigid finish?
Laura Mercier the drying side effects. oily areas. Want another base What theyve done
Flawless Fusion Does it work? Yes, both for combo skin? As a rule, Theyve basically solidified
Ultra Long-Wear in hydrating and oil-free formulas that have ultra-light ingredients that
Foundation, 35, ying long-term. sodium hyaluronate or melt when you put them
is best the matte Max Factor glycerin among the first four on your skin. Gone are
formula is a Healthy Skin ingredients are a good bet. the dulling talc and thick
no-brainer. Not Harmony Miracle waxes (them again), and
full-on enough for you? Foundation SPF THE PROMISE in have come blends of
Opt for cream formulas 20, 14.99, is SOLID TEXTURE, super-fine oils and waxes,
(not serum or liquid perhaps the less CLOUD-LIKE FEEL pearl powders, and finely
ones) brandishing words sophisticated Why were cynical milled pigments with
like corrective, airbrush formula, with a powdery- Demand for portable coatings that make them
and full-cover. matte finish. compact and stick roll evenly over skin, flex i

C O S M O P O L I TA N 81
with its movements, and
resist coming off.
Does it work? To my
(eek a solid) none
felt heavy at all.
Suqqu Frame
Fix Moisturizing
Solid
Foundation,
49, leaves
a glowy film
of colour.
Nars Velvet Matte
Foundation Stick,
30, has the same
melty quality but
a more satin finish
and airy feel, thanks
to added flexible
matte rebound powders.
The blending sponge thats
part of the stick is a stroke
he-go genius.
ull-on coverage?
Vichy
Dermablend
Corrective
Compact
Cream
Foundation,
23, has a remarkably skin-
like finish for something
that covers even scars,
thanks to vegetal lipids and
mega-doses of fine pigments.
THE PROMISE
GLOW AND OIL CONTROL
Why were cynical Thanks,
we assume, to the global
highlighter obsession, even
the oily-skinned now want
glowy foundations (demand
has gone up by a whopping
100%). Cue bases that claim
they can replace an oily
sheen with a cosmetic
gleam. Sounds likely. Not.
What theyve done
Hmm depends on the
brand, but lots of light-
reflective and luminising
powders and hydrators are
key. Then to tackle sebum
and control spots and
bumps, in come intelligent
powders and skin-clearing
ingredients like salicylic
acid and enzymes.
work? Some
han others.
Shiseido Synchro
Glow Luminizing
Foundation, 34,
has something
called Time Match
Powder. It essentially
glows on dry skin,
but when it absorbs any
sebum it turns semi-
arent, controlling
uch shine.
Clinique Even
Better Glow
Light Reflecting
Makeup SPF 15,
27, is better if
youre very oily:
it has optical luminisers, but
is oil-free and packed with
salicylic acid so efficient its
too drying on my non-oily
skin. Overall, keep an eye
out for bases that are oil-free,
but mention mica, pearl or
silk powders for glowiness.
THE PROMISE
A 100% SKIN
COLOUR MATCH
Why were cynical Similar
PHOTOGRAPHS TAMARA WILLIAMS/TRUNK ARCHIVE. STILL LIFES AGATA PEC
claims have traditionally
come up short, and we
dont want to nit-pick, but
if a foundation promises
an exact match for every
human, that means it needs,
oh, 7.5 billion shades.
What theyve done
Lancmes service doesnt
try to match your skin with
an existing shade (as some
brands have done in the
past), but employs a
machine, based at Londons
Harrods, that scans your
 skin, determines its exact light-reflective powders
tone and then blends and n conditioners.
pumps out a match on do that with the
the spot, its coverage and Cosmetics la
hydration level determined Carte Foundation
by your preferences. A good Matching Service,
72,000 options are possible, 55, in Chelsea.
which is rather decent. Here, specialists
Does it work? determine your
Lancme Le Teint tone with their
Particulier Custom actual eyes, taking into
Made Foundation, consideration how and
90, is brilliant for where you like to wear
those who just cant foundation. Then they
find their match. mix up a base with the
But what you cant colour, texture and finish
add is things like SPF, of your dreams.

f l e on your bottle
wa f
tr he Cosmetic scientist
and Cosmetics la Carte
e

founder, Lynne Sanders, makes

iph

sense of foundation-speak
Dec

on- ri g diiantt mattte

Suggests No idea. Suggests
Can pore be a verb?! ontradiction in terms.
Beware It can now. Beware Its not.
Means the formula wont Mattifiers like talc are
sit in pores (or lines), opaque, but modern
but forms a flexible, ones (made of acrylates,
light-diffusing film over nylon or silica) are
uneven bits, optically transparent for a
magicking them away. matte-not-flat finish.

il abble re t l
c v ra e Suggests wont
Suggests A very clog pores.
special ability not to Bewar f its long-
clog and streak. wear o waterproof,
Beware Pretty the film-former
much every modern ill always be
foundation can be mewhat occlusive.
built up to increase Must. Cleanse.
coverage. Properly.

MMinn rall pii m ntt

Suggests They e totally natural.
are Mica is indeed made from
pulverised rock, but most other
mineral p ments are synthesised.
Look instead for very finely
mil d pigments: theyre key
to
o second-skin coverage.
 INGE HAS
Cosmopolitans beauty chief INGEBORG VAN EN looks at losing your spots

PERSONAL SHOPPER

OBSESSED
Daniel
Sandler
Watercolour
Liquid Blush
Set, 49.50
I only ever wear
Daniels liquid-
to-powder cheek
stains. This set
will last you the
next 10 years.

Whats the deal with Embracing spots?

Want to nuke your breakouts with every What else? Hydrate! If you dont, spots IMPRESSED
drying, stinging potion youve got? Dont leave permanent marks. Purifying oils REN Perfect
bother. Be kind and loving to them instead. with salicylic acid or black cumin can Canvas, 50
Youre kidding. Im not. Zits are largely be miraculous; they both heal and clear, No silicone, but
an inflammatory problem, and need without clogging pores. A gel moisturiser an agave-based
soothing and repairing, not stripping with sebum-regulating, calming and smoothing
and irritating. Or theyll get worse. Fact. gently peeling ingredients, plus mattifying, agent instead,
Where do I start? No spot-clearing oil-absorbing minerals, is perfect as well. plus purifying,
cleanser should contain alcohol or SLS What about on-the-spot products? Im balancing
(harsh sulfate detergents) look for ones really impressed with sulfur. It draws out probiotics.
that specifically omit them, so your oil and filth and kills acne bacteria, but The perfect
all-important skin barrier stays intact. its gentle, too. It stinks of gone-off eggs, spot-proofing
Pick one with salicylic acid (purifying, but who cares? Dot it on overnight and primer.
anti-inflammatory) and leave it on for wake up with subjugated zits. The only
a minute before rinsing. spots left will be on that Dalmatian.
T H E U LT I M AT E L O V E -YO U R - Z I T S K I T
NON-PLUSSED
Pout Case, 30
iPhone case with
base, lipstick
and glow cream
PHOTOGRAPH GETTY IMAGES

in it. Cute idea,

but the make-up
(20 extra!) is
substandard.
Neutrogena Visibly Odacit Black Dr Sebagh Oil Malin + Goetz
Clear Spot Proofing Cumin-Cajeput Serum Controlling Skin 10% Sulfur Must do better.
Daily Wash, 4.99 Concentrate, 27.50 Perfecting Cream, 72 Paste, 18

C O S M O P O L I TA N 85
BEAUTY Urban Decay Rehab
Makeup Prep Pore
Refining Peel, 24
LAB An oily T-zone can ruin
a base, so a peel-off
you apply 10 minutes
before foundation to
stop shine has legs
and produces some
satisfying gunk. With
plant extracts that
tighten pores, it makes
for a good primer, too.

Soap & Glory What A Peeling!

Purifying De-Clog Mask, 4.99
A gloopy Pepto-Bismol pink
formula, you get two mask
pots per pack with a diddy
scoop to help you apply (which This month...
Peel-off
doesnt stop drips, so dont
wear your best top). After the
25-minute wait, it didnt peel off
in one and wasnt good enough
for me to go make-up free.
A viable deep clean, though.

Editors pick...
Elizabeth Arden Prevage City
masks
PHOTOGRAPHS ARTHUR BELEBEAU/TRUNK ARCHIVE. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIOS/KAT PISIOLEK
Smart Double Action Detox
Peel Off Mask, 60 This gel
promises to stick to pollution Novelty peel-o masks circa 1990
particles like glue. You cant
see pollution, but there was no are back, but are they any better?
smoke and mirrors when it came
to skin softness after. The mask
Contributing beauty editor BECCI
was tracing-paper thin, but very VALLIS relives her teens to find out
easy to peel off after 20 minutes.
A little goes a long way, and
Zero Skin Caviar Mask,
I went to bed moisturiser-free.
24.99 Ignore the fish eggs,
its the charcoal that makes
this black. It also has liquorice
to brighten, collagen to firm
and kaolin clay for extracting
impurities. Its thin but very
Ngg Mermaid Marine Peel Off Mask, tacky, so works quickly
9.99 A soft powder that you add and woe betide you get any
water to and stir, the resulting thick, in your brows. It took a few
rubbery mask made me look more sea yanks to remove, but my
monster than mermaid. It tingles for complexion did look clearer.
15 minutes, but in a refreshing way.
It came off in one go, with satisfying
pore debris. It also left blackheads
ripe for squeezing. Just saying.
86
 WORK SMARTER, NOT HARDER

Five years?
I cant even see
myself now!
WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH SHUTTERSTOCK

JOB HUNTERS, LISTEN UP! NO LONGER SHALL YOUR POTENTIAL

VINTERVIEW READY FUTURE BOSS JUDGE YOUR ENTIRE CAREER/CAPABILITIES/
CHARACTER ON A 20-MINUTE CONVERSATION AT 6PM ON A THURSDAY EVENING. VINTERVIEWS
VIRTUAL-REALITY INTERVIEWS WILL DO THE JOB INSTEAD. SOFTWARE DEVELOPED BY A
US COMPANY CALLED INTERVIEWED VETS APPLICANTS ON BEHALF OF THE LIKES OF TINDER,
%85%(55<$1',%0%<6,08/$7,1*:25.3/$&(7$6.6&$1','$7(65(68/76$5(7+(1
SENT TO PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYERS PRIOR TO THE NEXT STAGE OF SELECTION. PREPPING
FOR A VINTERVIEW? ENLIST A BRUTALLY HONEST FRIEND TO HELP YOU REHEARSE WHAT
YOU COULD BE DOING IN THE ROLE. NEXT UP: ROBOTS TO DO TEA ROUNDS? YES, PLEASE.
O
nce upon a time,
in an era known
as Pre Social
Media, a celebritys
entourage consisted
of a hair stylist,
bouncer and one very
harried PA. But nowadays a
whole new employee set has
been added to Hollywoods
payroll. They are the digital
whisperers, a highly covert,
highly remunerated group
of individuals whose job it
is to ensure their celebrity
clients digital image remains
spotless at all times. This
is not a job youll find on
Careers.com, nor is it one a
degree in computer sciences
is going to land you. Instead,
read on to find out how you
can infiltrate and influence
the A-list, while getting paid
handsomely to do it.

T H E G H O ST T W E E T E R
Remember when Charlie
Sheen accidentally
tweeted his own phone
number? Or that time
Mary J Blige asked that people not
insult her intelligents? Celebrity
social media errors can kill a career
in less than 140 characters. Ouch!
Which is where a silver-fingered
ghost tweeter comes in. They handle
some, if not all, of a celebritys
accounts: Britney Spears, Hugh
Jackman and Usher have all been
known to use them, and salaries
for the highest-paid positions can
head into six figures.
The process that goes into one
worthy image, or curating an entire
month of posts, requires hours of i

C O S M O P O L I TA N 91

planning and strategy,
says Nicole Logan,
brand director at
the LA-based Social
Intelligence Agency.
@kimkardashian
And consistency is
key, says Allison Peter
social media manager
for Kerry Washington.
When we post the
same type of content
on the same day each
week, the fans look
forward to it.
WANT I N ON @TheEllenShow
T H E AC TI ON?
Youll need a strong
grasp of analysing
social media data. We
start with a deep dive
into social analytics
and measure progress
with the data we
collect, says Logan.
Get to grips with tools
like Buffer, Hootsuite
@beyonce
and Keyhole.
Youll also need
impeccable grammar and an eye
for detail (who can forget Susan
Boyles eye-watering hashtag
#susanalbumparty?). I always
check to see what is trending
before posting, adds Logan.Id
hate to post something frivolous
when a major world event is
happening. Like we said, an
INCREDIBLE eye for detail.
THE SHOWMANCE COACH
We can now watch the
red carpet from the
comfort of our sofa and,
thanks to hordes of
reporters and fans clutching their
phones, celebrities now literally
need eyes in the back of their head.
I get paid to show celebrities how
to walk onto the red carpet like
they own the place; we practise
@justinbieber
@badgalriri
@perrie.edwards
everything from their stride, to
how to stand and pose in different
positions for the cameras more
naturally, says Ruth Sherman,
a US-based media trainer, who
is approached by film studios
in the run-up to a celebritys
promotional tour. Whats more, its
rumoured that people like Sherman
are even hired to teach celebrity
couples on the verge of a split how
to ensure that their body language
doesnt give anything away.
WA N T I N ON THE ACTI ON ?
Get the right experience on your
CV. I have a background in
performing arts, and a masters
degree in speech and interpersonal
communication, says Sherman.
But dont just look to the big stars.
My job is fairly niche, and there are
only a handful of us who work with
A-listers, adds Sherman. I also offer
edia training for directors
d film executives.
art with corporate
ork something like
edia training business
ecutives. Go to public
lks and hustle the
eakers afterwards,
taking care to stress how
good they were, but then
offer ways in which you
think you could help
them improve. Shameless,
but effective.
THE PHOTOGRAMMER
When Louise
Thompsons
brother
Instagrammed
a picture of the Made In
Chelsea star surrounded by
two photographers and a
lighting rig, he exposed one
of social medias worst-kept
secrets: most of the snaps
you scroll past are taken by
a professional. Oh, and theyre using a
camera thats a tad more technical than
your iPhone 7 and a Valencia filter.
Using a professional to shoot a lot
of their content can enhance their
account, says British photographer
Conor McDonnell, who shot Kim
and Kanyes wedding, and who also
works with Calvin Harris, Niall
Horan and Ellie Goulding. And while
McDonnells images are credited on
Instagram, other influencers are
known for passing off a professionals
work as their own including
lifestyle shots of coffee and brunch,
which can be bought in bulk from
specialist photographers. Im not
sure people realise the extent [to
which] pro-photographers are used
for Instagram, says McDonnell.
WA N T I N ON THE ACTI ON ?
Advertise your skills on Instagram.
McDonnell got the call about Kim i
C O S M O P O L I TA N 93

@nickiminaj
ngne
@caradelevi
@mile
ycyrus
@kendallje
@taylorswift
@ashleygraham
and Kanyes wedding after his work
was spotted on theapp. Use hashtags
relating to the type of shots you take,
and the camera you use, eg #canon500
and #streetart #weddingphotographer
#celebrityphotographer. Start small
try offering your services to aspiring
actors, or small bands (McDonnell
got his first job emailing indie band
The Subways before a gig) as a way
to build your celebrity portfolio.
THE BREAK-UP BEHAVIOURIST
Ever since Gwyneth took
charge of her conscious
uncoupling, celebrities
have been ditching the
old model (agree on a statement,
then send it out to a weekly gossip
94 C O S M O P O L I TA N
@elliegoulding
@selenagomez
nner
@kyliejenner
magazine), and announcing their
splits via their own channels. Demi
Lovato and Kylie Minogue have done
likewise. There are lots of agencies
specialising in this kind of crisis
management, says Rob Shuter, a
former publicist who worked with
Jennifer Lopez during her split from
Ben Affleck. And they are paid
thousands to handle a divorce or
break-up. They plan everything:
drafting those heartfelt social posts,
staging images that make their client
look happy or sad, role-playing
interviews and teaching them the
perfect image-saving answer when
grilled about their split. You even
practise with your client what to
do if they run into their ex in
public, Shuter adds. Er where
were you when we bumped into
our ex in a pair of stained trackie
bottoms in Tesco, Rob?
WA N T I N ON THE ACTI ON ?
Get a foot in the personal publicist
world. Sign up for the weekly PR
job round-up with Gorkana, and
bookmark Prweekjobs.co.uk to find
vacancies. Be prepared to intern at
first, and learn everything about your
niche. Follow #crisismanagement and
#CrisisPR on Twitter to find articles
and experts in this specialist field.
THE DIGITAL TALENT MANAGER
With around 100k up for
grabs for one Instagram
post (the rumoured cost
to get your brand on a
Kardashians grid), youre going to
need help handling which companies
you should work with. Cue the
digital talent manager agencies have
sprung up to help stars snag these
big-ticket campaigns, and Gleam
Futures, who work with YouTube
power couple Tanya Burr and Jim
@JUSTINBIEBER, @BADGIRLRIRI, @BEYONCE, @CARADELEVINGNE, @ELLIEGOULDING, @MILEYCYRUS, @KENDALLJENNER,
Chapman, are one of the biggest.
WORDS HANNA WOODSIDE, AOIFE STUART-MADGE. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, INSTAGRAM/@KIMKARDASHIAN,
Our role is to seek credible,
long-term brand partnerships for our
talent, says Gleams head of talent,
Lucy Lendrem. This means it can then
@SELENAGOMEZ, @TAYLORSWIFT, @TANYABURR, @KYLIEJENNER, TWITTER/@THEELLENSHOW
take anything from 24 hours to six
months from the initial proposal to
the final collaboration going live,
depending on the size of the campaign.
A big one can involve a months worth
of planned posts with negotiations
over content as important as the fee.
WA N T I N ON THE ACTI ON ?
Research an agencys clients. None
of my team have prior experience in
managing or agenting weve got
people from advertising, radio and
TV, says Lendrem. Be the full package.
When shes hiring, Lendrem looks for
commercially-minded people-
people. Youll need to demonstrate
shrewd business sense, and equally
strong interpersonal skills.
SELF
MADE
Getting
fired gave
me a new
outlook
Shes heralded as the stylist who
launched a thousand trends
meet ALEX BROWNSELL, 30,
co-founder of Bleach salons
Only lazy people say no
I started cutting hair in my lounge, which
had a leak in the ceiling. At the time, my
friends and I were all going through break-
ups, so we called it Heartbreak Hair and it
became popular through word of mouth.
Wed have drinks, gossip, laugh and cry,
making the atmosphere different to a typical
salon. Even back then Id want to accept
new challenges. Viewing trickier styles as
a good thing and doing them in a chilled
space is how Bleach carved a niche. Now,
I tell our 45 staff, Dont say no out of
laziness only say no if something could
be detrimental to the customers hair.
Failure brings perspective
I got fired from The X Factor in 2008, when
I was 20. I was supposed to help a friend
out on a shoot for the show, but ended up
going to a party and waking up in a hotel
with no battery, so I couldnt call for a few
hours. I thought she wouldnt mind. She
did and my lax attitude was what annoyed
her the most. I was gutted and it marked
a real turning point in my maturity.
96 C O S M O P O L I TA N
Keep your nerves and ego in check
ALEXS CV Its often those who are up-and-coming
who have the worst ego and I was no
2004-2006 Moved
from Northamptonshire to
exception in the beginning. Self-belief is
London aged 16 to work vital, but a huge ego can be detrimental,
as an apprentice at a salon especially when youre working on an
in Mayfair. Left to assist editorial or fashion shoot with a team.
full-time at fashion The best hairdressers are those who stay
shows and shoots.
2007 Set up a makeshift
positive and act confidently, even if theyre
colour salon at home. freaking out internally because someones
2009 Worked on her first kicking off over a wig that doesnt suit them.
solo fashion shoots. Say yes, then figure it out
2010 Partnered with Years ago, Port Eliot festival asked me to do
Sam Teasdale to open
something original there. I thought about
WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH HUGO YANGUELA
a Bleach pop-up and
later a concession in weaving silks and patterns into hair, then
Topshop Oxford Circus. forgot about it. Weeks later, I had to blag
2012 First stand-alone it when the organiser called to ask what
Bleach salon opened my plan was. I said, Ive invented hair
in Dalston, London.
2013 Launched a Bleach
tapestry, and then spent three nights failing
range of products to make a loom device out of cardboard.
in Boots. After researching medieval tapestries, I
2015 Opened salon bought a picture frame from Oxfam, sawed
in Soho, London. grooves into it, and made a contraption
2017 Launched Bleach
make-up range and
which thankfully worked. Ive since spent
the Hairmoji hair toy two years developing it with Bang! Creative.
and brand.
 BEAUTY EMPIRE?
Then come and find d
out how to start, scalle
and social your brannd

A career in beauty
an impossible fantasy,
or a prospect well within
your reach? Join us for
a discussion on how to
create a career in this
industry with those
whove achieved it. Charl
otte
Cosmopolitans beauty & cre Mensah S
ator o t
f Man ylist, salon
director, Ingeborg van ketti
Oil Ha owner phie & Hannah Pycroft Creators
ircare Sop
Lotringen, will lead a panell off Spectrum make-up brushes
of four hugely successful
entrepreneurs, revealing
their trials, tribulations and
triumphs. Youll then have
the chance to network (glass
of fizz in hand) and grill
the beautypreneurs yourself.
PHOTOGRAPH MIKE BLACKETT. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES

Meet us at Cosmopolitan HQ
for an evening of inspiration
that could change your life.

ator
Florence Adepoju Cre Ingeborg va
of MDMf low ma ke- up n Lotringen
Cosmopolita
ns beauty di
rector

W 6.30pm-8.30pmon10thOctoberWHERE6th@Soho,33Broadwick
WHEN b WHERE 6th@S h 33B d ick
Street,LondonW1F0DQ
S PRICE 24+bookingfee(includesadrinkanda
g
goodiebagfeaturing ITCosmeticsandmore)TICKETS VisitHearstlive.co.uk

C O S M O P O L I TA N 97
COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION

Fall
for
fashion From fashion shows to
beauty bars join us at
Westeld London and
Westeld Stratford City
for two weekends of
everything ON TREND:
the event of the season
I
f you typically
think of September
as a time for pining
after summer
holidays and grumpily
giving your winter coat an
outing, then think again.
This year, make the most
of the biggest month in
the fashion calendar with
a trip to our rst ever On
Trend powered by Dyson
Supersonic fashion and
beauty weekenders at
Westeld London and
Westeld Stratford City.
Here, the industrys
best pro-fashionals and
beauty gurus will be on
hand,
ha with exclusive
caatwalk shows and
beeauty tutorials just for
yoou. Plus, with a bar on
sitte serving up Bottega
Gold sparkling wine,
yooull probably never
waant to leave.
THE
HIGHLIGHTS
X All-day catwalk shows
showcasing the best of the
new-season collections, all
from brands housed within
Westfield, including Next,
Monsoon and many more.
X An exclusive
Cosmopolitan Beauty Hub,
Elle Fashion Cupboard and
Esquire Grooming Hub at
each weekend.
X Enjoy FREE styling at
the Dyson SupersonicTM
blow-dry bar.
X The chance to customise
your own pair of must-have
earrings with Accessorize
at Westfield London.
X Browse and shop the
trends direct from your
phone via the On Trend
Collections lookbook.
X Exciting in-store events,
giveaways and lots, lots
more all weekend!

ON TREND AT WESTFIELD
Powered by Dyson Supersonic

WHAT IS IT? Two stellar weekend-long celebrations

of the latest fashion, beauty and more at Westelds
two London sites.

WHEN IS IT? Westeld London (Shepherds Bush),

1517 September, 2017; Westeld Stratford City,
2225 September 2017

T
TELL ME MORE! Find out all you need to know about
the
t weekends and plan your visit (or visits just saying)
at Uk.westeld.com

#ONTREND2017
 STRETCH YOUR ODY AND YOUR MIND...

BRING YOUR
DNA-GAME
If you thought DNA tests
were only for police
databases and The Jeremy
Kyle Show, think again.
Genetic analysis is the latest
health trend to divide and
multiply. Using DNA testing,
health experts are now
creating bespoke diet and
exercise plans, designed
around your exact nutritional
needs. Companies like Pure
Genetic Lifestyle even offer
an at-home test*, which, in
exchange for a swab of saliva,
can tell you everything from
your individual vitamin needs
to the rate your body breaks
down alcohol. Hell, even spas
are getting in on the DNA-
wave with new genetically
guided wellness programmes
popping up all over the
WORDS DANIELLA SCOTT. ILLUSTRATION PETER CROWTHER. *FULL HEALTH

Swiss Alps. Its unclear at the

moment to what extent test
results can be manipulated.
Because if theres a way we
AND NUTRITION TEST, 1,365, PUREGENETICLIFESTYLE.COM

can make the consumption

of freakshakes seem like
a medical necessity, we
will totally do that.

C O S M O P O L I TA N 101

In
Cant concentrate? Stay sharp with six tips from the worlds best CEOs
ow do you feel about no-food Tuesdays?

H
Or caffeinated cubes for a 4pm pick-me-up?
We know, neither sounds great for your health
but theyre hacks that big business leaders use
to focus on growing their billion-pound companies. And
while we dont think working on an empty stomach would
Everythings
spinning

do much for our concentration (wed just be thinking Shell get

about eclairs), that mid-afternoon brain fog is a major Focus on
the horizon
tired soon

productivity drain. The solution? These tiny health tweaks.

2 S R
LUNCH HOUR

1 ; The hack: Our

DRINK bodies release Google has basketball courts.
Twitter has a CrossFit centre.
COFFEE AT cortisol first thing
to help us wake up Nike has yoga studios. Why?
9.40AM add coffee to that, Exercising during working hours
boosts focus: a German study
and you get a stress
Coffee, then breakfast? spike. Save that flat found that walking or cycling
Or, worse, coffee for Who you white for after your
w during learning, not before,
breakfast? You may calling flat? helped new foreign words stick.
bo
ody has processed its
think all that caffeine residual cortisol; if you
makes you more
productive, but
having it on an
says Dr Nicole Van
Groningen, a specialist
in internal medicine. This
wake between 6am and
8am, thats just after
9.30am. Its a technique
; The hack: Fit a 30-minute
class into your lunch
hour, and pack something to
empty stomach sends your body into used by Twitter CEO eat the night before. Or find
spikes the stress survival mode, reducing Jack Dorsey, who gym that sells food on-site,
hormones cortisol your attention span to meditates, works and e Virgin Active.
and adrenaline, barely-there levels. then has his coffee.

Your
handwriting?
NOT my fault
SCRIBBLE DOWN YOUR WEEK
cared of doing a bad job? Your brain tries to protect you from
f a flop by tunin
ing
ut, says womens health expert Dr Carly Snyder* so youll do anything ng
ut the task at hand (What Disney princess are you? quiz, anyone?) ?).
The hack: Note down any thoughts you have about a project,
p
good and bad. A study found that imagining every ou utcome
ot just the positives resulted in more energy and productivit
vity**. i

O P O L I TA N 103
 4 ;The hack: Even if youre
BUY NOTEBOOKS not jotting down
(LOTS OF THEM) multimillion-pound ideas, Thats a
As if we needed make sure your to-do list is weight off
an excuse to blow half our on point. If its too vague
wages in kikki.K, meticulous with items like finish
note-taker Richard Branson presentation youre not
claims that some of Virgins telling your brain what it
best successes were conceived needs to focus on, says Oksana
in random moments, when Hagerty, learning specialist at
he happened to have his Beacon College, Florida. Split
notebook open and ready. tasks into smaller chunks and
0 MMI UTES
This is backed by a seminal only add three to five items to MENTAL FITNESS
1956 study that found that the list all day. Tricky to trim it
most of us can only hold down? Keep a weekly list with We all know that every CEO from
Arianna Huffington to Mark
five to nine items in our everything you need to do, Zuckerberg meditates, and studies
short-term memories. then divide it up into days. show it can sharpen and sustain
attention, even during the most
boring of tasks (thatll be updating
the spreadsheet, then). Now
companies are encouraging the
expensive steak on the
menu: you need the iron.
When iron levels drop,

;The hack: Veggie
or vegan? Hit up
edamame. Theyve got
practice Apple allows 30-minute
meditation breaks and Nike has
cognitive performance 15.7mg iron per 100g quiet rooms for that very purpose.
and concentration (thats just over your
take a dive with it.
A study of female
university students
RDA) compared with kale,
which has just 3mg per
100g. The catch is that iron
; The hack: Psychologist
Daniel Goleman has spent
years studying focus. His book
found that eating from plant-based foods, The Science Of Meditation offers

WORDS KRISSY BRADY, KAT LISTER AND CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, SHUTTERSTOCK, ALAMY. *DIRECTOR OF
WOMENS HEALTH FOR FAMILY HEALTH ASSOCIATES, NYC **PUBLISHED IN THE JOURNAL OF EXPERIMENTAL SOCIAL PSYCHOLOGY
an iron-rich lunch classed as non-heme iron, a simple trick: Turn off your phone
Bean three times a week isnt as easily absorbed as and sit in a relaxed posture at your
craving me? desk, he says. For 10 minutes
for four months its heme counterpart,
improved memory from meat. But theres focus entirely on your breath, in
and out. The key is to notice when
STEAK (OR and attention.
And guess
a loophole: eat iron-rich
plants with vitamin C and your mind wanders which it
EDAMAME) what? Anna
Wintour
theyll form a compound
your body can better
will and bring it back to your
breathing. Think of those errant
Count this as full likes a absorb. Youll need 25g, thoughts like a naughty child that
permission to steak for which you can get from runs off and needs escorting back.
order the most lunch too. 150ml orange juice. Easy.

Weird CEO life hacks we wont be adopting

A TIE A DAY LOG IT ALL KEEP ROCKING

KI BE FUSSY
B
Mark Zuckerberg Ex-Yahoo CEO Bill Gates rocks Martha Stewart is
sets himself a Marissa Mayer in his chair said to only allow
goal each year, spreadsheeted cake during meetings. black or red ink
like wearing a tie recipes to find the The more excited in her offices. So
every day. Aim perfect formula. he is, the more he no gold scented
high, Mark. Just go to Greggs? rocks. Distracting. rollerballs then?

104 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 EXPRESS
WORKOUT
SUPE STEP3Supermans
move
Elle Macpherson; Rosie
H-W; Lara Stone one
TARGETS Glutes, abs
1 Begin on all fours, toes firmly
pointed into the floor. Ensure
your spine and neck are in a
neutral position, with hands
under shoulders and knees
man trains them all. under hips.
And this is the 2 Extend your right arm in front
of you, as if youre about to shake
plan he uses someones hand, thumb pointing
up. At the same time, extend your
K, so we left leg backwards, with toes still
know you can pointing down (imagine you are
squat. But can being pulled from either end).
you disco lunge? 3 Bring your arm and leg back
O Tube walk? Flamingo?
These are the moves the models
are doing now to keep their bodies in
gravity-defying shape. Or so says trainer
towards the body and touch
your right elbow to your left
knee under your torso.
4 Repeat 10 to 12 times before
James Duigan, whos outlined the exercises switching sides.
below as the go-tos for his roster of clients. My
biggest tip is to get a resistance band, he says. Its
one of the only pieces of equipment I use, as it is
so effective. Get ready to strut down that catwalk
(read: your hallway). James Duigans Blueprint For
Health (Pavilion Books; 14.99; out 7th September)

WORDS CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPH GLENN PRASETYA.

STYLING ARINDA CHRISTI. ILLUSTRATIONS LIZZY THOMAS

STEP 1 Tube walking
TARGETS Glutes, thighs
1 Start off standing in a quarter-squat pos i
lowered down, as if you stopped a squat
through), with feet hip-width apart,
and place a resistance band around
your feet, making sure it is taut
2 Take 10 side steps to the left,
lead with the opposite leg back
to the right, keeping the toes
pointing forward throughout.
3 Repeat three times and be
sure to keep tension in the
band throughout. Thighs
on fire? We hear you.
STEP 2 Flamingos
TARGETS Glutes, abs
1 Begin in a standing position with your
feet together and hands on your hips.
2 Slightly bend both knees then slowly
hinge over at your waist
3 Bring your left leg upw rds and out behind
you as your body travel forward, while
maintaining a straight b k e sure to keep
a slight bend in your s eg, and
your shoulder blades
pulled back througho
the movement.
4 Now return
to the start
position, then
repeat 10 times
on each leg. Try (and
fail) to keep the digni
TIP!
Every time you do one
of these circuits, make sure
you hold your stomach in
lightly (draw your belly button
towards your spine), and
really activate your
glutes (clench
your butt).
STEP 4 Side
bridge with hip drops
TARGETS Abs, arms
1 First, lie on your side with
your forearm on the ground, elbow
under your shoulder and your other
arm raised into the air.
2 Push your forearm away from your
body, keeping your elbows under your
shoulder, lifting your hips into the air in
a straight line while keeping your abs tigh
3 Slowly, using control you may not be
totally sure you have, lower your
hip back down to the floor and
then return upwards.
4 Repeat 10 times on each side.
STEP 5 Reverse disco lunge
TARGETS Glutes, thighs
1 Begin standing, feet together, arms by your side.
2 Draw in the belly button and step back into a lunge with
your left foot. Extend both arms above your head in a Y.
3 Land on your left toes. Bend your front knee over your ankle.
4 Push forward to the start position with your back leg then

C O S M O P O L I TA N
of a flamingo. Wearin return to a standing position, and your arms to your sides.

107
pink: optional. 5 Repeat 10 times on each side. Singing Night Fever helps.
WHAT
THE
TECH
Supercharge your workout
New Balance Speed
Run Jacket, 80 Using
super-human NB Heat,
this jacket will keep you
warmer than sitting in front
of your nans electric fire.
(and your wardrobe)

MOBO, 48*
This invincible
water bottle,
made from
recycled
stainless steel,
moonlights as
Nike Vapormax trainers, 169.95 a foam roller
Gravity-defying air pockets that also have (and grenade
a pleasing resemblance to jelly shoes. imposter).
 Fitbit Blaze,
129.95**
Motivation on Adidas Stella
your wrist, McCartney
COMPILED BY KIAAN ORANGE. *MOBO AVAILABLE AT ACTIVE-INSTYLE.COM **FITBIT BLAZE AVAILABLE AT JOHN LEWIS

this watch leggings,

Urbanears looks good 119.95
headphones, and reminds These use
89 EarClick you to get fibres inspired
technology moving, lazy by natural
ensures these bones. fur to keep
boys wont your legs
budge, even at optimum
when you do. temperature.
Alternate use:
sofa lounging.
TIP!
The key to a good
running gadget? Not
runnin
Asics sports that it matches your
bra, 35 trainers, but that it works
Seamless with your phone, for
support where progress tracking. Dad
you need it. advice, done.
Its so
comfortable,
youll feel freer
than Bear Polar A370 Fitness Tracker,
Lululemon shorts, 52 Grylls on a 169.50 Polars newest gadget
Weightless, with Lululemons stag weekend is a 24-hour heart monitor, so
Nulux technology great in the jungle. you can keep a check when
for tough training (and hiding youre running for the bus/
evidence of sweat). tearing up the dance floor.

GE TH ER - 10 0% NATU RAL INGREDIENTS

JUST FRUIT & NUTS SMOOSHED TO ON!
DS #NAKDDOODLE
NAKDWHOLEFOO
VOLUTI
JOIN THE WHOLEFOOD RE
 NB Hero 2.0 Bra, 30;
Impact Premium Print
Tights, 60; Fresh Foam
Vongo Trainers, 110,
espite spending a lifetime as

D
all Newbalance.co.uk
a gymnast, yogi and personal
trainer, Shona Vertue is
the rst to admit that long-distance
running has never been her strong
suit. However, with an ethos strongly
focused on venturing outside her
comfort zone (she convinced one of
the worlds top footballers to change
his mind about yoga and embrace it),
it comes as no surprise that the New
Balance ambassador would take on
a huge challenge herself by
running the 26.2-mile New York
City Marathon in November.
Long-distance running isnt
something Ive ever been good at,
she says. I actually kind of hate it
and nd it very uncomfortable.
But, saying that, I think its really
important that we face and conquer
our fears and resistance to things
when they are presented in front
of us. Im running a marathon to
confront my discomfort and inspire
others to do the same.
Inspired by Shona to take on your
own challenge? Check out Shonas
tips for staying motivated and follow
her on Twitter (@shonavertue) and
Instagram (@shona_vertue) to see
her journey in the run up to the
New York City Marathon.

IF SHE CAN, YOU CAN

Running PROTECT YOUR BODY ON REST DAYS:

My regime caters to my strengths
and weaknesses. On non-running days
I protect the longevity of my joints with

at life
weight training to improve endurance.
EMBRACE THE ENERGY: New York
is so exciting the camaraderie and
support from participants and
spectators is mind-blowing.
OVERCOME THE NERVES: Turn nerves
Personal trainer to the stars and creator of erce into excitement and eagerness for
holistic training plan The Vertue Method, Shona whats to come a pizza, a bath
Vertue is ready to confront her fears or the satisfaction only giant
accomplishments can bring.
 COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION

PENNIE VARVARIDES,
PERSONAL TRAINER
PT and New Balance ambassador Pennie
Varvarides knows a nely tuned plan is
key to success and meeting goals. And,
as she joins Shonas challenge (along
with Fran Halsall, below), shes aware of
the risks long-distance running poses.
Pennies been treating her joints to
kneehab and building up her knee
strength with localised weight training.
Its never as interesting or impressive as
doing big lifts, but its more important.
Follow Pennie on Twitter and Instagram
(both @superpennie)

Its important to
try different things
to push yourself in new
ways both physically
and mentally
Fran Halsall NB Athletics Cropped
Tee, 20; NB Athletics
Leggings, 28; 574
Sport Trainers, 110;
all Newbalance.co.uk

Crop Hoodie, FRAN HALSALL, OLYMPIC SWIMMER

50; Crop Bra Top
Fish out of water and fellow New Balance ambassador Fran Halsall has
(not seen), 40;
Intensity Tights, 75; swapped her day job as a competitive swimmer for pavement-
Fresh Foam Zante
pounding alongside Shona and Pennie. Despite struggling to get
Trainers, 95; all
Newbalance.co.uk her leg muscles to adapt, Frans found the best way to manage
training is to have a work and play schedule. If Thursday night is
after-work drinks, but you were supposed to have a gym session,
train in the morning. Or pre-plan a weeks worth of training rst and
organise socialising afterwards, so youre not missing out on either.
Follow Fran on Twitter (@franhalshall) and Instagram (@francescahalsall)

BECOME YOUR GREATEST SELF

When it comes to performance with style, New Balance
is unbeatable. As Shona Vertue, Fran Halsall and Pennie
Varvarides can all attest, tness is a lifestyle, which means every
aspect of your day should be covered and New Balance have
your back. So, loop your laces, take a deep breath and get ready
to meet your future self.
Find out more at Newbalance.co.uk/MyFutureSelf
The world is now your workplace ass gyyms, cafs and banks
 READ

oer free desks for broke self-starters. But, asks JOSIE COPSON, is it too good to be true? i

113
 he sound of cycling shoes scraping against the
tiled floor draws closer. My colleague, dressed d
in head-to-toe Lycra (his crotch is head level
and if this place had a HR department I woulld
need to put in a quick call), peers over my
laptop on the desk Ive set up for myself on
the only table in the room. Ive laid out all thee
essentials a pen pot stuffed with Bics, my
recently acquired journalism award, as well
as a framed photo of me and my friends
at the polo, to demonstrate that while Im
a serious, committed self-starter, Im also
a woman who knows how to have a good time.
Do you want to, erm, do an earlier class? he ask
ks.

OK, my colleague is technically the bottle four times, has been

fitness instructor at the spin studio
where I have set up my office for
the day. I know why he is asking
me this. All around me, fellow
exercisers have started to pile in.
The space where they would usually
dump their bags or sit to put their
shoes on is now my office. As such,
they are struggling to get changed.
They shoot me dangerous glances
as they balance precariously against
the only wall space available. But
Ive no time to feel guilty. Ive got
emails to respond to! People to
meet! Articles to write!
No, Im good, I reply. He narrows
his eyes. Ive been sitting here since
9.30am. Its now midday and, in
that time, two sets of fitness classes
have been and gone. But why are
you here so early? he persists.
I tell him Im a journalist and
I have a very important feature to
write up about the baby of a famous
reality-TV couple. He, in return,
tells me how much he hates reality
television. Oh, how we laughed!
He gets officially promoted to
work-husband status. The blonde
woman behind the reception desk,
who Ive asked to fill up my water
114 C O S M O P O L I TA N
relegated. She was on shaky
territory anyway when I asked
for their wi-fi code, she dropped
a piece of paper on the counter
like it was a used tissue.
You may have heard of the housing
crisis, but what about the desk crisis?
Between 2008 and 2016, the
number of freelancers in the UK has
risen by 43%*, meaning theres now
an estimated two million of us on
the hunt for somewhere to work
that isnt our bed or an overpriced
coffee shop. Ive got a full-time job,
but Im hoping to do more work
on the side to fund my addiction
to buying anything that Sarah
Ashcrofts Instagram tells me to,
and I dont have the dollar to
actually pay for a desk.
Thankfully, savvy companies
are playing fairy godmother and
opening up their spaces to offer
people like me a mobile office.
Boom Cycle, the spin studio in east
London where I find myself today,
is one such benefactress. They used
to have a small juice bar and an
area selling leggings and socks. But
now the owner, 33-year-old Hilary
Rowland, has gone one further and
Thats the fifth cup
of hot water that
teabag had seen...

installed a desk slap bang next to
reception. Its a single desk really
youd maybe get two people on
it at a push, but Ive had my eye on
it for months. And Boom Cycle isnt
alone. Ritzy London gym Third
Space has kitted out the lounge
of its Canary Wharf branch with
plump sofas and low tables from
which you can do your life admin,
while certain branches of Virgin
Active have decked out their spaces
with the finest Apple computers.
But, although its all lovely in
theory, Im unsure whether you can
actually use the space like an office.
I feel about as awkward as the time
my dissertation tutor at university
had to break it to me that brought
and bought were two separate
words two-and-a-half
years into my journalism
degree (I thought they
were interchangeable).
Sure, there are two other
people typing on laptops,
I tell my editor
but I have a feeling they to call me at
work here mainly Boom Cycle if
because the blonde
receptionist is much
she needs me
nicer to them.
I decide to push my
limits a little further. My
phone doesnt have signal down
here,
here so I give
i my editor Boom
Cycles numbeer and tell her to call
it if she needs to get in touch with
me today. The phone rings and a
guy who look ks like an ASOS model
(actually, eveeryone here looks like
an ASOS model) answers.
Theress an I dont know
who Josie Copson is.
uve got the wrong
nuumber. Before I can
get up to tell him I am
THE E Josie Copson he
speaks of, the reeceiver has been
l
slammed d down.
d It rings again and
the blonde receptionist answers
this time. She knows my name, as
I checked in with her, so she makes
the short journey to my desk. Your
READ
editor is ringing about a deadline.
I go up and lean over the counter,
pushing the phones wire to its
limits as I chat for five minutes.
The woman looks utterly baffled.
At 3pm, I have a meeting set up
with a woman who has the power
to commission some of my feature
ideas. She rings me, confused.
Where are you? Im lost.
Just look for the motivational
blackboard on the street that says,
Anything worth doing is worth
kicking ass at! I tell her. When
she eventually finds me, I order
us a round of smoothies (I ask for
Tetley, but they dont have any),
which sets me back the price of
a H&M bikini tea rounds are
expensive here.
So, Im really
thinking that the Porn
Awards could work for
you guys
The WHAT? replies
my colleague. The juicer
for our smoothies has
just been fired up.
THE PORN
AWARDS! I shout.
THE WHAT? she
shouts back.
Around us, people are
limbering up for their class, and for
the first time I feel almost comfortable
here. My colleague doesnt she
makes her excuses and leaves.
I check my watch. Its 5.40pm
only five minutes until the class
Ive been waiting for since 9.30am
this morning starts. As I finally step
onto a spin bike, my work husband
looks about, utterly relieved. Theyve
been an accommodating bunch, but
I cant help thinking that if their
lone desk was used in this way every
day, tensions would rise. Its a nice
idea in theory. In reality? Its time
for me to test my luck elsewhere.
The good news is its not just gyms
jumping on the pop-up desk wagon.
Barclays is giving its unutilised
space (turns out no one goes into i
C O S M O P O L I TA N 115

banks any more) tosocial enterprises,
business start-ups and community
projects, while Google has a place
in east London that you can use
completely free of charge if you fill
out a short membership form and,
you know, give all your personal data
away. You can even, Ive heard it
whispered, gatecrash someone elses
office space with companies like
property agency 3Space donating
one desk to a non-profit start-up
or experimental project for every
company that rents a desk at one
of its shared-working spaces. Giving
a start-up a little bit of space will
mean everyone involved benefits
Harvard Business Review research
found that people in co-working
spaces experience better productivity,
lower burn-out rates and higher job
satisfaction. This is how I find myself
in popcorn company Propercorns
Islington office. Here, they lend desks
to anyone who wants them (as long
as someone in the office knows who
they are and can vouch for the fact
that theyre not a serial killer) in
return for some skill-sharing and
generally not being a liability.
READ
every flavour twice in
nine hours). They also
have a very fancy tea
selection, so I make
myself a tea every hour
on the hour. Theres
a free lunch put on by
a handsome chef called
Ed every day, which is
totally exciting, as well
as a ping-pong table and
an abundance of dry
shampoo in the toilets,
which could come in
handy as I havent
washed my hair in
over a week.
I attempt to start
Hold my calls, conversations
these smoothies
throughout the day
wont drink
themselves everyone is very polite,
but I get the feeling
theyre not in the
The co-founder of Propercorn is mood for dissecting the romantic
Cassandra Stavrou, who waltzes in machinations of Love Island. And
wearing black trousers and a crisp not everyone seems so keen on the
white shirt, perfectly matching the constant tea rounds. To be honest,
crisp white walls of the office. It its hard to make yourself feel part
gives it an incredible energy, having of a community when everyone else
so many passionate and ambitious here works for the same common
young people under one roof, goal. I feel like a naughty intern
she tells me. breaking work etiquette, so I thank
Who have you had in so far? Cassandra for her hospitality, pack
I ask, intrigued. up my award and pen pot, and
Journalists, stylists, authors We head out into the evening air.
had a freelance journalist who stayed What I really need is a place that
for a couple of weeks. She was fed up has a communal vibe; one where I can
of working from her kitchen table talk shopping or reality TV as often
and hadnt found long-term office as I like without fear of judgement.
space, so she came and joined us. Ideally somewhere with free wi-fi
Were still in close contact. Oh, I get and coffee. And comfy chairs. That
why Im here I can give place, according to my
them coverage. But what freelance friends, is The
about if my dad, who Timberyard, a coffee
fits shutters for a living, shop in Soho that
wanted somewhere to I need describes itself as the
work on his sketches,
I wonder
somewhere future of work. It has
3G and, rather crucially,
Still, I make myself at with wi-fi. And something called Reverse
home. Theres as much free comfy chairs Osmosis Water. I dont
Propercorn as you can know what it is, but
stomach (turns out I can it gets me out of bed
stomach a lot, as I sample early on a Wednesday i
C O S M O P O L I TA N 117
 READ
Yeah, I do a class
most days. My office
is really close by...
morning. The problem is, it is so early
that I forget my laptop. I tell the guy
behind the bar who looks puzzled,
but helpfully hands over a couple
of pages of A4 paper and a pen.
I settle into a squishy armchair (the
other seats are taken by louche types
in business-casual attire hunched over
laptops) and order a yoghurt pot and
a bottle of water. I notice the bottle
has a note hanging around its neck
that reads WORKSPACE powered
by PURCHASES. I suddenly feel bad
this is the quid pro quo. Use our
workspace, spend some money.
(And I know youre all dying to
know what Reverse Osmosis Water
tastes like. Well, imagine a bottle of
water. Its a lot like that.)
There are long tables here designed
for impromptu brainstorms and
business meetings. Already, there are
small knots of twentysomethings
using their arms expansively as
though miming blue-sky thinking.
Its annoying. Still, there are also
118 C O S M O P O L I TA N
separate meeting rooms available
for hire, should you need them.
By 5pm, Ive had about as much
free tap water as I can stomach.
Others appear to spend a lot on
Reverse Osmosis Water and coffee.
I calculate that if I bought a bottle
of ROW (its new acronym) every
hour, Id have spent almost 25
on water alone. And probably not
done a lot to help the environment.
As I wander home, I think about
my week in all those offices. And
the simple truth is this: theres
no such thing as a free desk.
BEHIND THE SCENES
Josie Copson
Other things that you can
(but probably shouldnt)
stockpile from these hot
desks? Stationery (most
keep pens behind tills), napkins and sly
pictures of hot, bearded men taken while
pretending youre on WhatsApp.
IS THE TEA
AND COFFEE
FREE?
And can I download porn? We
find out how willing other places
are to tarnish their web history
WeWork (London and Manchester)
Q: Is the wi-fi strong
enough to download porn if
its relevant for my work?
A: Sure, we can set you up on
your own dedicated internet.
WHAT ELSE YOU GET: For around
REPRESENTS. STYLING SAIREY STEMP. JOSIE WEARS: JACKET, SKIRT AND BLOUSE, ALL DEBENHAMS. SHOES, HER OWN. JESS WEARS: SPORTS BRA, LEGGINGS,
200 per month, youll get a hot desk
and unlimited coffee, tea, fruit juice
*LABOUR FORCE SURVEY FROM THE OFFICE FOR NATIONAL STATISTICS. PHOTOGRAPHS SARAH BROWN. HAIR AND MAKE-UP CASSIE STEWARD AT LHA
and beer although drinking it
before 11am is frowned upon.
BOTH UNIQLO. WITH THANKS TO KIKKI.K. CATO LARGE WHITE DESK, 250, HABITAT.CO.UK. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS ANDREW MEREDITH
Ace Hotel (east London)
Q: How many glasses of tapwater
can I ask for before you get annoyed?
A: We provide free water, but
we do prefer you to buy drinks.
Im just going to get my colleague
to help you. *Line goes dead*
WHAT ELSE YOU GET: The hipster
venue is open 24/7, so whenever
creativity hits, theyre there, with all
the booths and plug sockets your
heart could desire.
The Hoxton Hotel (London)
Q: How likely is it that Ill
encounter space invaders?
A: Er our chairs are spaced out.
WHAT ELSE YOU GET: At the
Shoreditch branch, you can hire rooms
with unlimited access to drinks and
goodies in the Pantry Kitchen.
READ

DANGER
ON
DEMAND

The sharing economy has made it a breeze to get anything you want, any time
you want. But the inconvenient truth behind our new convenient lifestyle?
Our willingness to trust perfect strangers may be putting our safety at risk i
Wo r d s H A N N A H S E L I G S O N 1 Illustrations M AT T C H A S E

120 C O S M O P O L I TA N
121
 A night in a
sub-standard
bed can leave
you snappy in
the morning

122
O
ne Saturday night last year,
Maria*, 25, was at a rowdy
bar celebrating a friends
birthday. It was one of those
great parties where you blink
and its suddenly 2am. By then,
Maria was tired, so she ordered
an Uber an occasional
splurge on late nights,
although she mostly tried to
take the train. Five minutes
later, her phone buzzed; the driver was outside.
A little tipsy, Maria walked to the curb.
Are you my Uber? she asked the work on you, he said. Panicked, she
guy behind the wheel of a car that focused on getting out of the car. At
was just pulling up. a traffic light, she threw open the door
Yes, he replied. and sprinted into the night.
She got in, but soon became With no purse or phone,
aware that he was turning onto the she finally managed to
motorway in the wrong direction flag down a police car.
north, instead of south, towards
her home. When she asked why,
The policemen perhaps
assuming she was just a
We dont even
the driver mumbled something lost drunk girl didnt file check that
about a different route. Strange, a report, but they did put theyre the
she thought. But I wasnt going to her in a licensed cab that
argue with him, she recalls. Maybe ferried her safely home,
right strangers
he knew a shortcut. As they whizzed where she had to run
past exit after exit, though, Maria into her flat for cash.
realised she hadnt checked his But a few weeks later,
number plate against the one Maria was using Uber all over again.
provided by Uber and that he likely
didnt work for the company. CLICK BAIT
He demanded she hand over her The digital revolution has overhauled
phone. Be quiet or Ill rape you, he human behaviour in some pretty
hissed. He claimed to have a gun. significant ways, perhaps none more
Stunned and terrified, Maria thrust surprising than this: weve become
her designer handbag, jewellery and so conditioned to delegating various
bankcard on the front seat, lying that details of our lives to strangers to
her cheap gold hoop earrings were handle that we dont even bother to
expensive and reciting her PIN check that theyre the right strangers.
number. I thought he was going to A decade ago, most women would
do something terrible to me and then have thought twice before asking
leave me on the side of the road, she someone to put together IKEA
says. I thought I was going to die. furniture, walk their dog, vacuum
It felt like hours later when he finally their bedroom, or stay in their
pulled off the motorway, miles from bedroom. But tech services have
her neighbourhood. Before I take you introduced a revolving door of helpful
home, Im going to do some pussy strangers and eager lovers into our
READ
worlds. They materialise with a few
clicks even mums, who used to warn,
Dont talk to strangers, now book
them to babysit via apps like Bambino.
The convenience is seductive and
ubiquitous. European consumers are
increasingly spending more and more
money on the on-demand economy.
So much so, PwC, a multinational
professional services network
headquartered in London, predicts
that sharing economy transactions
could rocket to 570 billion by 2025.
To put this statistic into perspective,
thats up from a meagre 28 billion
today. In the UK specifically, PwC
(who predicts major trends within
the economy) forecasts that on-
demand household services (such
as Shoreditch-based home services
start-up Bizzby) will expand the most,
with revenues expanding
by 45% a year to 2025.
Our norms are
changing, explains Colin
Strong, global head of
behavioural science at
market-research firm Ipsos,
and author of Humanizing
Big Data. We see others
using these apps, and it
soon becomes acceptable.
Car sharing is often
cheaper than alternatives
a serious lure to the super-skint
generation. But people also
increasingly value experiences over
material things, says Strong. And as we
rush to embrace the novel to go to
new places, try new things concerns
about safety can seem negligible.
It doesnt hurt that on-demand
apps have a Tech City sheen of
efficiency. Its easy to see them as
a clean-scrubbed Gumtree, and to
assume that workers and users are
vetted and, therefore, benign.
Thats a mirage, say the experts and
in some cases, a mistake. The sharing
economy is trying to turn strangers
into friends, says Dr Lucas Coffman,
a visiting associate professor of
economics at Harvard University i
C O S M O P O L I TA N 123
and chief behavioural officer at
US money-sharing platform Frank.
A drivers photo or profile can make
us feel a sense of familiarity, he says.
But these companies are not doing
a perfect job.
As is the case with so many other
things, the technology has adapted
more quickly than our reflexes for
dealing with it leaving a gap between
whats convenient, and whats safe.
Were on a major learning curve
right now, adds Katie L Greer, an
internet-safety expert in the US.
Because of how convenient these
apps are, we forget the most basic
privacy and safety principles.
THE COST OF CONVENIENCE
But shrugging off those principles
can come at a high price. There
have been reports of hundreds of
alleged instances of physical and
sexual assault by ride-hailed drivers
over the past few years. In 2016,
a Freedom of Information request
submitted by The Sun revealed that
32 assault claims were made against
Uber drivers in London over the
previous 12 months. One such
driver was jailed for 18 months after
he picked up a passenger outside
Brixton Tube station and assaulted
her. According to the 24-year-old
womans account, he leaned across
and touched her, asking, Are you
comfortable with this?
Meanwhile, over the past few
years, imposter Uber drivers like
Marias have been linked to sexual
assaults and robberies all over the
US. Uber itself has raised an alarm
about drivers some who have
homemade Uber signs in the window
impersonating its workers at
airports in New York.
Car transportation apps are just
the tip of the iceberg. A spokesperson
for the house-cleaning app Handy
said that in 2016, more than 500 users
submitted substantiated claims of
theft to the company. (This represents
just .04% of bookings that year.)
124 C O S M O P O L I TA N
Appy endings
Its not all doom and danger.
Here are three times the
sharing economy won at life
THE UBERPOOL MATCH
Picture the scene: woman flees bad
date, dials an UberPool. Ends up in the
back seat with a handsome stranger.
A year later, theyre still together Not
a Nicholas Sparks novel, but the real-life
story of Hayley Mitchell, 27, and her
now-boyfriend Charlie Algar, 28.
AIRBNB ROOMIES
When it comes to sharing an Airbnb,
you could end up with a doddery old
lady who knows the best place for tea,
or a 6ft 5in German tennis player. Thats
what happened to Bree when she took
a private room in a Wimbledon house
two years ago and met player Frank.
Theyre still together now.
PARTY PALS
TaskRabbit has noticed a rise in the
number of people hiring taskers to go
to birthday parties for them. They show
up, say hello, explain theyre a proxy
and leave. Not bad for a days work.
As for dating apps, think tank
Pew Research Center found that
42% of women who use them have
experienced harassment or felt
uncomfortable. Here in the UK, it was
revealed that more than 400 offences
related to apps such as Tinder and
Grindr were reported to police in
2015, increasing seven-fold over a
period of two years. In fact, the number
of people who reported theyd been
raped on a first date by someone they
met on a dating app or site increased
six-fold from 2009 to 2014**.
Still, for digital natives who have
rarely thumb-hailed a taxi or stayed
in a hotel they had to book over the
phone, surrendering on-demand
convenience remains unthinkable.
Several years ago, Elizabeth*, 33,
went on a couple of dates with
a match from OkCupid. One night,
when a restaurant they tried to eat at
had a two-hour wait,He flipped out
a bit, she recalls.He was muttering
under his breath that I ruined the date
and fucked everything up. Elizabeth
was scared enough that she fled his
car at a crossroads, in heels. Several
days later, she received a text: What
was up with you the other night?
She deleted her OkCupid account,
but she still uses other apps such as
Uber and Handy. Her reasoning: The
people Ive interacted with on those
services are working for a company.
I see a distinction between using the
sharing economy to get from point A
to B, and a mobile app to meet men.
TUNING IN
Regardless of how well vetted a person
seems, it is vital to trust your own
instincts, cautions Greer.If something
doesnt feel right, it probably isnt.
Thats a fact that Emily*, 28, wishes
shed considered. On her way to
a family gathering two years ago, she
and her fianc stopped to break up
the drive, booking a well-reviewed
guesthouse via a home-sharing app.
When they arrived around 8pm,
there was a creepy vibe, recalls Emily.
The family in the main house stared at
them through the window, and none
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. **ACCORDING TO THE NATIONAL CRIME AGENCY. ADDITIONAL REPORTING KAT LISTER
of them looked like the profile picture
shed seen online. But she brushed off
the bad feeling it was only one night.
Then around 2am, someone rattled
the door.We were freaked out, says
Emily. A guy outside asked,Is
someone in there?
He claimed to have forgotten that
hed rented the cottage. Emily was
so shaken that after she heard him
drive off, she and her fianc packed
up their stuff and left. (When she
complained, she got her money back
with credit for a future stay.)
Many larger platforms cant run
checks on every single user if they
do them at all so they rely on their
communities to post feedback and
raise red flags. But hosts with hundreds
of five-star reviews dont exist
everywhere, and its easy for users to
prioritise location and cost over ratings.
Companies that provide a set paid
service, like Uber and Handy, do
 READ

Brings new typically run background checks. And

meaning
many platforms have done a lot to
to getting
sharked improve the number of clues you
in a bar have about the person on the other
end of the transaction, says Arun
Sundararajan, professor of information,
operations and management sciences
at NYUs Stern School of Business and
author of The Sharing Economy. But
this is still not a hotel where, say, Hilton
is responsible for your experience from
beginning to end. There is more
burden on you to find a safe provider.
Ironically, a second wave of tech
services is emerging to help ease that
burden. BlaBlaCar provides a ladies-
only service that filters the route youre
travelling to ensure that both fellow
passengers and drivers are women.
However, in online dating, it is the US
that is leading the way when it comes
to introducing safety mechanisms.
Aste, launched by Julie Nashawaty
after she discovered that a guy she met
on a dating app had been arrested for
robbing a bank, is one such service that
performs independent background
checks by professional investigators
for online daters. Since it launched
in January, Nashawaty says that 25%
of its searches have turned up as catfish
or scammers. Only time will tell if
a similar service will make the journey
across the pond.
It was 2am Still, your own vigilance may be your
and someone most important shield. Maria, for one,
has devised some new rules for herself:
was rattling
E N CHANGED. **SOURCE T/C

I know these apps are never going to

at the door be 100% foolproof, so I share my
location with friends. (Uber lets its
clients do this directly from the app.)
Emily has become more selective
about home sharing looking for
HAV BEE

dedicated holiday rentals, professional

NA MES HAVE

photos and many reviews and only

R *NAMES

staying at someone elses place if

travelling with another person. Soon,
L STER.
A LIS

though, shes attending a wedding

KAT

where there are no hotels. Shes already

ON A WORDS

booked accommodation using an app.

OR

The place is a 15-minute walk from

T IONAL

the wedding, she reports. Its worth it

DDIT
ADDI

for the convenience.

C O S M O P O L I TA N 125
A whole new bre
In the world of the Insta-famous, one
group is raking it in without you
even realising. Heres what really goes
into creating a global pet superstar i
Wo r d s D A N I E L L A S C O T T Photog raphs LIZ GREGG

126 C O S M O P O L I TA N
C O S M O P O L I TA N 127

atching the photographer set up,
I am so anxious I swear you can hear
my heartbeat and, despite a strong
breeze from the open window, the
nervous sweats are taking hold. I look
across the room at Wilma, who is
ambling around the set, entirely
relaxed. Weve approached numerous
modelling agencies without success
and, just as I was beginning to worry
it was starting to dent her self-esteem,
this one seemed to like her. Shes
got that classic British look that
advertisers really go for, the stylist,
Rebecca, tells me. Her face is
beautifully expressive and I think if
she was dressed right she could have
real potential. I breathe a sigh of relief.
Shes very nice-looking. Passed on
all fronts, the agency director, Melody,
chimes in. Suddenly, I see a future of
photoshoots, paparazzi and red carpets
as I realise weve done it: Wilma is
going to be a star. Just as soon as she
stops licking between her legs.
I guarantee youve seen them on
social media, retweeted their memes
or maybe even bought their books.
Pet influencers are the biggest thing
to hit Instagram since unicorn well
everything, and theyre definitely
richer than you. Grumpy Cat has
reportedly made around $100m,
128 C O S M O P O L I TA N
while Boo the Pomeranian
(once a guest star in a Katy
Perry music video), apparently
earns $1m annually. These
pets have book deals, apps,
merchandise and advertising
contracts with big names like
Febreze and Mercedes-Benz. In
an age where memes are a major
form of communication, its no
wonder these social-savvy pet
influencers (or rather the owners
that pamper them) are cashing in.
Because behind every Insta-famous
animal there must be a responsible
human. So does that mean anyone
with access to a cute dog and a
smartphone can make their pooch
a star? And if you do how easy is
it to actually make any money? This
question is the reason I find myself
at the PetLondon Models agency on
a Thursday afternoon with Wilma,
my sisters basset hound, discussing
the nuances of canine fame with
Melody Lewis, PetLondons director.
Its really important they enjoy it,
she tells me, and that they can take
instruction. We need them
to have quite a strong sit
and stay when theyre
on set. At this moment,
Wilma is massacring a
fluffy unicorn toy. I will
Her digital
pay for that I gesture paw print
awkwardly as she skips needs some
off to find a new victim,
leaving a path of candy-
serious love
pink limbs in her wake.
We do a few test pictures,
as Im told shell need to
do some simple photoshoots before
she can land filming roles. At first,
she sits calmly, peering her big doe
eyes up into the camera, but after 10
minutes, she decides more unicorns
must die today and trots off elsewhere.
When I ask the team if theyd
consider representing her based on
todays performance, surprisingly,
Melody says yes. Definitely. Cats are
having a moment right now, but her
breed is still super popular for ad
campaigns. I would suggest you work
on the sit and stay at home, though.
Thats not the only thing we need
to work on. Her digital paw print
needs some serious love. I need to
have at least 1,000 followers to be
taken seriously. My sister and her
boyfriend once made a weak attempt
at a Wilma Instagram, but with just
20 followers, its a sad and desolate
place to be, full of well-meaning but
deflated hashtags and dodgy bot
followers. Unsure where to start,
I consult Yena Kim, the phenomenally
successful momager of Menswear
Dog (real name Bodhi), who shot
to fame in 2013 after Yena featured
Bodhi dressed in various menswear
brands (were talking Ralph Lauren
and Coach) on her blog. He was
quickly picked up by The New York
Times and CNN, and now Bodhi
boasts 308k Instagram followers and
is rumoured to earn $15,000 a month.
I would say you need about 50,000
followers to be considered a micro-
influencer, Yena tells me. Quality
content is key, so for good shots
use peanut butter to get
Wilma looking in the right
direction, she continues.
And play music while you
shoot, so shes enjoying
herself Bodhi likes The
Rolling Stones. One last
piece of advice: post videos.
People love it and
Instagrams algorithms
favour video, so youre
organically going to get
more engagement. This is
beginning to sound a lot harder than
I imagined. Finally, Yena tells me to
find a small community of similar
influencers to support and like each
others posts. This idea is reiterated
by Laura Hughes, owner of Mr
Bojangles, the Finnish Lapphund who
has 34k followers and a penchant for
modelling bow ties. We share tips and
ideas all the time, she says. If one
of us goes to a conference, we bring
back information for the others. i
 READ

Pet influencers are

the biggest thing to hit
Instagram since unicorn
well everything

Wilma: from
wags to riches

C O S M O P O L I TA N 129
 The next day I go on a following
spree, commenting things like
#longearsdontcare! to other basset
accounts. I set up an Instagram group
with four other basset influencers,
and tell them about the community
idea. They all seem keen, until I send
a tip about hashtags, to which I get
no response, except a painful thumbs-
up from Sir Woofington. So much
for my clique. Wilmas popularity,
however, is growing; after only three
days, she has reached 100 followers
mainly through following relevant
accounts and hashtagging heavily
until Instagram tells me off (youre
only allowed 30 per post).
Logistically, however, Im struggling;
Wilma is heavy and she isnt allowed
on the Tube unless I carry her up the
escalators (cheers, TFL), so I think my
biceps might be growing more than
her fame. Yet, undefeated, I arrive at
my sisters flat two days later with
a beach ball, a comedy tongue and
what looks like a foot-long sex toy (a
giant tube of bubbles) and announce,
Im here for a photoshoot. We spend Lassie never
the next hour coaxing Blue Steels out had to put up
of Wilma with cheese and deli meat. with this shit
I start posting two to three times
a day at Instagrams busiest times Beyonc of the Insta-basset world and month supply of Peamutt Butter to
(11am and 7pm), communicating she again emphasises communication the winner, who was asked to follow
with followers and relevant accounts with other accounts and tells me that the account, like two photos and
by commenting, hashtagging and Dean also has a very successful line of leave a comment saying why they
liking a lot. Additionally, Ive been merchandise. In fact, their first money- should win. The winner then posts
using Lauras 80/20 hashtag approach: maker was a Dean calendar. Motivated about us and our following again
80% good hashtags (those with by Carlys advice, I decide to change grows. Our next giveaway, a Petlandia
500,000 to 700,000 uses) and 20% tactics, or rather take my current personalised dog storybook from
bad hashtags (1 million or more). tactics to Defcon 1. I begin to spend at Mind Candy, goes even better, and
The aim is to always be in the top least two hours every day commenting we creep over the 500-follower mark.
nine posts under that hashtag. After a things like OMG adorable! on other I start receiving emails saying things
week, were at about 250 followers. But pet accounts. This works so well that like Would be lovely to meet Wilma
I worry that Wilma is disappointed. She Wilmas following shoots up to 350 (you can come, too), and pet clothing
knows Mr Bojangles gets red carpets just 10 days after my project began. brands reach out to us. Ive become
rolled out for him when he stays in Laura (Mrs Bojangles) advised me every bit the stressed manager,
hotels, that Menswear Dog is often to speak to brands for collaborations, while Wilma is languishing in the
sent oil paintings from fans and that so I gingerly reach out to dog-related heady world of fame and fortune.
Dean the Basset has been on the front companies online to see if theyd be Shes teetering on the verge of fully
row at a Nordstrom fashion show. willing to partner up for a giveaway. fledged diva-ism, routinely pushing
I speak to Carly Bright, owner of I am surprised at the positive response me off the sofa so she can spread
Dean the Basset who, with almost we get. At the end of week two, we do out while Im forced to eat my
200k followers, is arguably the the first giveaway: sending out a six- dinner cross-legged on the floor.

130 C O S M O P O L I TA N

At 600 followers, I enlist the advice
of Lexie Gagnon, owner to Owen
the Great Dane who has a fan base
of almost 40,000. Her advice is to try
and get featured on a dog Instagram
account, as many of them have
hundreds of thousands of followers.
So I start desperately tagging and
HAIR AND MAKE-UP EMILY-JANE WILLIAMS. WILMA WEARS LINEO DOG COLLAR IN MAUVE/LIQUORICE FROM MUNGO & MAUD. DOGS TRUST (DOGSTRUST.ORG.UK) AND THE RSPCA (RSPCA.ORG.UK) WERE CONSULTED FOR ADVICE
emailing, using Wilmas cutest photos,
but I am rejected at every turn. Until,
finally, a US account called dogs.247
(over 100,000 followers) reposts three
of her photos. Wilma has succeeded
where Robbie Williams and Cheryl
AND GUIDANCE ON THIS PIECE. NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED OR UNCOMFORTABLE THROUGHOUT THIS FEATURE. WILMA ATTENDED PETLONDON MODELS IN LONDON (PETLONDONMODELS.COM)
have failed shes cracked America.
Once the followers start rolling
in, I get tactical. I follow everyone
who liked the photo on dogs.247,
preparing to sack off most of them
within 72 hours. Before I know it,
an account called Basset Hounds Of
Instagram reposts pictures of her to
its 50k followers and ours jump to
753. I am overjoyed, but Wilma,
oblivious to the success, is
taking this opportunity to
steal underwear from the
washing basket. In fact,
behind the scenes, she is Wilma is
becoming increasingly teetering on
Mariah-like. The gifts
I bring her are destroyed
the verge of
within minutes, and full diva-ism
meals that arent from
the Selfridges charcuterie
section, discarded. And all
this is before weve made any money.
Loni Edwards, founder and
managing partner of The Dog Agency
in New York, the first talent agency
specifically for pet influencers, says,
To monetise, you need a minimum
of 10,000 followers. Even then, you
can probably only charge a few
hundred dollars. I dont really
represent anyone with fewer than
20,000 to 50,000 followers. According
to Loni, Half a million is where
it shoots up to a $5,000 to $8,000 fee,
and at a million, you can easily charge
$15,000 to $25,000 for ad campaigns.
For some, money like this is a
reality. Yena, for example, quit her day
job just a few months in. Partially
because she needed more time to
manage the account, but also because
it was so profitable she could afford
to. To manage Mr Bojangles, however,
Laura gets up at 4.30am every day to
work for two hours before going to her
job as a social worker. Whats apparent
is that making it in this industry takes
huge dedication, and unlike Menswear
Dog, who went viral overnight, most
pet influencers work tirelessly for
years just to make a few hundred
pounds. Far from just uploading the
odd cute photo with a couple of
hashtags, this business takes research,
analysis, time, investment and years
of commitment. Plus it comes with
the stress of social-media pressure:
I had started to wake up almost every
hour to track Wilmas follower count.
So why do it? This is a question
I asked myself as I cancelled on family
to stay at home and photograph
Wilma in a teepee, or
missed my best friends
housewarming to get a
four-second video of her
snoring. Isnt it all just
frivolous? Pets dont let
you down, says Loni.
The more chaotic the
world gets, the more this
industry grows, as people
want the security of
knowing that when they
go on Instagram and search for their
favourite dog, theyre going to find
something that will make them happy.
Ultimately, Im not sure Wilma and
I are cut out for this game; Im short
of sleep and have run out of deli cuts.
Wilma, too, seems to have tired of
celebrity. The look of disgust in her
eyes when I get my camera out tells
me that our days in the limelight are
over. And after a month of hustling
pet-food companies, lugging Wilma
up and down the Bakerloo line and
shamelessly stalking pet Instagram
accounts (Franklin_D_Woofsevelt,
I am sorry), if Im honest, Im relieved
to be hanging up my hashtags.
READ
Say cheese!
Pet photographer
Liz Coleman shares
her best tips for a
little animal magic
GO LOW Get down to the
dogs eye level. Most people
make the mistake of standing over the
dog and pointing their camera down,
but actually, the eyes are the focal point.
DOGS NEED MORE BREAKS
THAN PEOPLE (Yes, even more
than Naomi Campbell.) Shoot for a
maximum of 20 minutes and then
stop to give the dog time to relax,
go to the loo and have a sniff around.
THE BEST TIME TO SHOOT IS
EARLY IN THE MORNING OR
TOWARDS SUNSET The soft lighting
looks great, and its a cooler time of
the day, which is important, because
dogs overheat easily. Go to parks
wild flowers make great backgrounds.
DOGS GENERALLY LOOK
BETTER WITH THEIR MOUTHS
CLOSED This can be hard to achieve.
Make animal noises while youre
photographing. Itll make them
concentrate and close their mouths,
and theyll stare straight into the
camera, where the noise is coming
from. I find cat noises work best.
SO THAT THE DOG IS CALM
AND COMFORTABLE,
FAMILIARISE THEM WITH THE
LOCATION BEFORE YOU START
SHOOTING Let them wander around
and investigate, sniffing whatever
they need to. Turn the lights on
before they get in front of them,
so they arent startled when you do.
BEHIND THE SCENES
Daniella Scott
I managed to get Wilma
from 20 to 1,061 followers
in 30 days no mean feat.
But I spent a minimum of two hours a day,
and four hours every Saturday, to get it
this far. Makes the 392 followers in four
years I have on my personal account look
pretty shabby actually. You can follow
Wilma on Instagram at @wilma_basset
C O S M O P O L I TA N 131
H AV E W E R E A C H E D
 READ

I N F LAT I O N P O I N T ?
Question: Which of the women
on this page have had their
lips surgically enhanced?
The answer: All of them* i
*Including the writer of this story

Wo r d s L U C Y PA R T I N G T O N
Photog raphs SARAH BROWN
 ts 9am on a Saturday
morning and Im perched
on the end of a velvet
sofa somewhere north of
Newcastle city centre. The
Weeknd is playing out of
a small speaker that sits
precariously on the top of
a mini fridge. All around
me are framed pictures of
lips. There are classic red
lips, lips with needles
artfully placed over them
and lips that look so sexy
I almost feel indecent
looking at them. The most
striking picture of all,
though, is the one in front
of me: the image of a man
not much older than me, dressed in
surgeons scrubs. His name, it appears,
is Dr Tijion Esho, the owner of the
grand, white-washed clinic that I find
myself in. And lips are his business
hes responsible for all the lips along
the top row on the previous page.
If, over the last few years, youve
noticed that certain celebrities, or
possibly even friends of friends, have
started to look a bit more well
endowed in the lip area, then Dr
Esho may well have had something
to do with it. He is, after all, the
self-proclaimed king of lips, and in
a world where nobody appears to have
the pout they were born with, being
the lip king is a powerful place to be.
Dr Esho has two clinics, one in
Harley Street in London and one right
here in Newcastles Collingwood
House. Its this latter mecca that Ive
long been intrigued by, which is why
Ive invited myself up here for 12
hours. Im not interested in a new pair
of lips, by the way (my own are pillowy
and on the mid to large side), but I am
interested in why women on the street
are starting to look, how can I put
this different. I am definitely
interested in why every woman
on my Instagram feed and on my
favourite reality TV shows (Love Island,
naturally) appears to have bountiful
134 C O S M O P O L I TA N
lips. And I am definitely, definitely
interested in the people who are now
talking in a strange new language that
includes words like mills, volume and
lip ratio. Along with why Dr Eshos
name keeps coming up.
Suddenly, the door swings open
and in walks a young blonde woman.
Sorry Im late, traffic was awful.
Had to go through the Tyne bridge,
thats how bad it was, she says in
a thick Geordie accent. Where is he?
Is he here yet? Oh, is he in there? she
asks, pointing at the treatment room.
No wonder he wasnt replying to
any of my messages! Lips are to my
THE LIP DOCTOR generation what
This is how Dr Esho works. Hes not
afraid to stay in touch with his patients teeny, tiny ski-
on WhatsApp. And he thinks nothing
of giving out his mobile number so jump noses were
they can text him at all hours of the
day (and they do). Which is exhausting, to the 80s
I think, when I see the number of
women due to come in that day (there
are 30 back-to-back appointments).
Demand is so great for Dr Eshos work
that most days hell see patients until
9pm, and there are women who have
been waiting to see him for six months.
He doesnt come cheap either,
charging 400 per millilitre of filler
injected. Yet hes somehow managed
to capture the hearts of millennials,
and I want to know how these girls,
who are all younger than my 27 years,
can afford to spend that much money
two or three times a year, when I can
barely afford my rent. that in the last two years Google has
Perhaps its because lips are to my seen an 88%** rise in the number of
generation what teeny, tiny ski-jump people searching for fillers, and its
noses were to the 80s and what clear were a generation obsessed.
bagel-shaped breast implants were But people no longer just want to
to the 90s. Lips are what we now look like celebrities or supermodels;
fetishise. Take a look at our idols instead they have dreams of looking
Kylie Jenner (who finally admitted to like augmented versions of themselves.
having fillers after months of media They aspire to look as perfect as they
speculation), Angelina Jolie and do after theyve Face Tuned their
Scarlett Johansson. Each one of them is pictures, or with a filter over their face.
a woman who gives big lip. Look at the And Dr Esho is no stranger to people
number of new lip products: it grew coming in clutching selfies with the
by almost 11%* last year. Tie in the fact Snapchat flower crown on. This

generation of girls see themselves as
an avatar, but theyre not. Theyre real
people and its important they know
whats realistic and achievable. They
need educating properly, he says.
LAW AND ORDER
The lack of education, however, is
a very real problem. Fillers are, as it
stands, totally unregulated, which
means you dont need any medical
training or background to administer
them. I could buy syringes and
solution off the internet and inject
strangers if I wanted to. Thats why
so many people including reality
television stars are, worryingly, able
to set up shop, use social media to
advertise their lip-filling services
and take bookings over Facebook.
Its also why so many girls are left
with long-lasting lumps and bumps.
Dr Esho does a lot of correction
work; around a third of his time is
spent fixing other peoples botched
jobs. Today hes seeing Jaaid, 22, who
had fillers done by a local beautician
her friends recommended. But
READ
theyve gone wrong. Shes got what
looks like a Tic Tac-sized blister on
her lips I later learn its a filler cyst
and is caused by filler not being
injected deep enough. This is
common and is the reason why
you see so many lips that look like
a cobbled driveway.
Aside from lack of regulation,
legally theres no minimum age you
have to be to have your lips done
(although many clinics wont go
through with it without parental
consent if youre under 18). With i
C O S M O P O L I TA N 135

a growing interest in fillers from girls
under 18, thatcan spell danger. Its
important to remember that anybody
under 18 is still maturing, their body
and appearance is still changing. At
a minimum, patients should consult
and rely on the judgement of a trained
and licensed healthcare professional,
says Brent Saunders, CEO of
pharmaceutical company Allergan.
As a father of two teenage
girls, he is appealing to his
peers to try and work out
how teenage patients can
be best educated.
Dr Esho agrees. He wont
Dropping 400
treat anybody under the
to have my lips
age of 21, despite getting done is an alien
around 12 enquiries every
month from girls younger
concept to me
than that. Theres a lot
more mobile practitioners
in the north east that will
treat younger clients, he says, by
which I assume he means less
qualified and less scrupulous. So if
theyve already had fillers done, they
think Ill do their lips, too.
Thats why I started documenting
everything I did on social media,
Dr Esho says. But is he encouraging
young girls by uploading absolutely
everything? Not at all. Seeing
somebody shoot a gun on TV isnt
going to make you kill somebody.
I know I have a big social media voice
so I try to use it to educate people, he
says. I never use filters on anything
I upload because I want people to see
the good, the bad and the ugly. You
see Kylie Jenner one day and the next
her face has changed. People arent
seeing any of the in-between stages
so they dont understand why theyve
got bruises from injections, or why
I tell them the aftercare of any
procedure is important, he says.
The more of Dr Eshos procedures
I watch, the more I find myself wishing
I had the sort of definition and shape
in my pout that hes giving these girls.
My lips are big, yes, but when I catch
sight of myself in the mirror I notice
the top is a lot thinner than the
bottom. I know Im overanalysing
and comparing myself to Dr Eshos
patients, but Im starting to feel more
tempted than I ever thought possible.
LIP SERVICE
Its Ellie the young blondes
turn in the hot seat. Shes 22 and
this is the third time shes been to Dr
Esho. I havent always had
a problem with my lips.
Most of my friends have
got fillers, though, and
I always thought mine
were really small in
comparison, she tells me.
How does she afford it,
I ask? I just put the money
aside when I know they
need doing. Its the same
when I have my hair
extensions done, she
replies with a bit of a shrug.
And what about any other
outgoings? I dont really have any.
I pay my parents a little bit of rent, but
thats it. Im young so Im not saving
for a house yet. I know its a lot of
money, but I like getting my lips done
and Id rather pay to see Dr Esho than
have them go wrong, she tells me. Her
attitude is almost blas. Its her money,
and it seems Ellie and her friends see
having their lips done as a normal
expense, like paying their phone bill or
getting a manicure. I wonder if I still
lived at home with my parents, would
I be able to justify dropping 400 two
or three times a year on my lips? It
feels like an alien concept to me.
I watch Ellie get dental blockers
before her fillers theyre the same
numbing injections you get at the
dentist. This is the worst part, Ellie
says, clutching my hand. They inject
your gums and its awful. I tell her
to squeeze as tightly as she wants.
I know from her grip the second
and third injections hurt the most.
You can feel the stuff going in.
First theres a scratch from the
needle and then the liquid stings.
READ
Is it worth the pain? Oh god,
definitely, but he knows when to
stop, Ellie says. When I first came
I said I wanted a full millilitre in
my lips but he wouldnt do it. I was
annoyed but I woke up the next day
and theyd swollen so much. I was
glad he hadnt put it all in. I think
my lips would have exploded. They
could definitely take it all now
though, she says, like a seasoned
professional. I ask Dr Esho how much
filler will be injected today. Probably
only 0.2ml, he says. Ellie looks
disappointed. Sometimes you dont
need to inject a lot of product to get
the results you want, he tells her.
Ellies convinced her lips have
gone small again, but Dr Esho says
they havent, all thats changed is her
idea of whats normal. And thats
usually whats happened when you
see girls walking around with
sausage-shaped pouts. So much filler
has been injected that the Cupids
bow has disappeared and theres no
definition or shape left. Losing sense
of reality can happen though, and as
author and behaviour expert Judi
James says, The heightened focus on
one single body part takes it out of
context with the rest of the features.
That, combined with the initial hit
of change in appearance, can bring
more attention from others, and i
Dr Esho: the
needle king
C O S M O P O L I TA N 137
READ

disagree with me when I told him

BEFORE
boost confidence,
meaning the desire to
get that hit again is
increased. Comparison
is also key with so
many celebrities and
influencers having these
procedures done, a new
level of normal is
created. Extreme looks
are becoming normalised, and,
worryingly, the bar keeps getting
my concerns. I half wanted him to
tell me I didnt need anything doing,
but then I realised, actually, thats not
his job. His job is to perform these
procedures safely and responsibly. If
Going under
the needle the young women whove waited six
months to see him have made their
choice about wanting lip fillers, and
hes happy to treat them, why should
he persuade them not to go ahead
AFTER with it? This is how he makes his
money, after all.I know Im not
my lips in a mirror and saving lives I used to when I worked
all I can see is how thin in the NHS, but not now. I might
the top one looks. be changing them by giving people
confidence, but thats it. The work
IN THE HOT SEAT I do is about respecting the decisions
Almost two weeks after people make and working with
my visit to Newcastle, them to make sure theyre happy
Lucys puffy lips before Im on a bed in his with what I do, he says.
the swelling went down Harley Street clinic. Ive And hes right. But I still cant help
spent a week taking but wonder that if I someone who
Nelsons arnica tablets to help with had absolutely no issues with their
bruising, Ive had dental blockers lips at all before now have been

WITH THANKS TO THE ESHO CLINIC AND TAG AESTHETICS. *ACCORDING TO RESEARCH FROM MINTEL. **ACCORDING TO GOOGLE TRENDS. HAIR
AND MAKE-UP CASSIE STEWARD AT LHA REPRESENTS, USING KRYOLAN; EMILY-JANE WILLIAMS, USING URBAN DECAY; MARLENE ANDERSSON,
raised. These girls lips arent getting (which, by the way, werent as painful seduced by the prick, what chance do

USING NARS COSMETICS AND KEVIN MURPHY. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS TRUNK ARCHIVE, GETTY IMAGES, @LUCYPARTS/INSTAGRAM
smaller, but they think they are as Ellie made them out to be) and the thousands of other younger, more
because the lips theyre seeing on now, as my lips are being filled with impressionable women have?
social media and TV are just getting 0.75ml of Juvderm solution, I feel
bigger and bigger, James explains. a bit like Louis Theroux in his plastic BEHIND THE SCENES
I wont lie: with a little extra filler surgery documentary. Except he had
added, Im impressed with Ellies lips. liposuction and I havent quite gone Lucy Partington
Theyre defined, she has an obvious that far... yet. But I have become It took me a few days to
Cupids bow and they look plump. a victim of comparison syndrome. come to terms with my new
lips. At first I was convinced
The next day I look at the picture of Never in a million years did I think
I looked like Donatella Versace, especially
them Dr Esho has sent me. Theyre Id end up here. But after spending when they swelled up the next morning.
not too big, not too small. They suit a few weeks immersed in this world, I dont regret it, but then everyone who
her. I think my mum would probably Im intrigued by fillers. During my knows has said they cant tell the difference.
describe them as luscious. I look at initial consultation, Dr Esho didnt

SURGERY THROUGH THE DECADES

Dr Frances Prenna Jones talks us through our aesthetic obsessions
1970 1980 1990 2000 2010 2020
SILICONE BOOBS FACE AND COLLAGEN LIP FACE-PEELING NON-SURGICAL JAWLINE
This was the IFTS
BROW LIFTS FILLER LASERS & CHEEK PROCEDURES PERFECTING...
generation that Think Joan The start of FILLERS
ERS Hyalu
Hyaluronic acid ...and other body
really started to Collin
ns th
he injectable This is w
when nose and lip parts like hands
embrace bikinis, and heer obsession (that the unnatural injecctions all and feet (yes,
paired with permanen nt gaave us Leslie beca ame madde more you read that
excessive, look of Ash and her
A the neww p
popular by right) are all in
mahogany tans. e.
surprise ttrout pout). natural. K
Kylie and co. our futures.

138 C O S M O P O L I TA N

Beautify
your skin
Get a glowing complexion this autumn with a
multi-use skincare product that can be used on
your face and right down to the tips of your toes
our skincare routine should
Y be at the forefront of your
mind as you transition from
summer to autumn. Months
*IRI HBA/OTC, 52 W/E 21 JAN, 17 **PRODERM INSTITUTE FOR APPLIED DERMATOLOGICAL
of UV exposure can leave your skin
looking and feeling dehydrated, uneven
RESEARCH, HAMBURG, GERMANY, 2010 TERMS & CONDITIONS APPLY
and ready for a much-needed hydration
hit. That's when you need the UKs
best-selling* specialist skincare oil and
cult product, Bio-Oil. This multi-tasking
skincare saviour combines a unique
blend of vitamins A and E with natural
plant oils that all work together to
improve the skins health and elasticity.
YOUR CHANCE TO WIN
For your chance to win one of 10 exclusive
wellbeing prize bundles, including a 50
Treatwell gift card, a soothing massage roller
and your very own 200ml bottle
of Bio-Oil, head straight to
Bit.ly/cosmopolitan-dropdrop
before 5th November 2017.
Bio-Oil is available at Boots,
Sainsburys, Superdrug,
Tesco and all other national
retailers, RRP 8.95 for 60ml.
COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION
ENHANCE YOUR MAKE-UP
Bio-Oil is clinically proven to help
improve the appearance of scars
and stretch marks**, but also acts as
a great base for make-up. A little goes
a long way, so apply a few drops to
the face as a primer before your
foundation for a dewy, glowing
complexion. As its a dry oil, it
rapidly absorbs into the skin without
leaving a greasy lm. For professional
make-up artist Anita Keeling, its her
go-to skincare product: If a model
has come back from a long ight
and her skin is looking tired, I love
to apply Bio-Oil to instantly hydrate
and tone down any puffiness.
A NATURAL BOOST
Cranking up the central heating
(as well as other external factors,
such as extreme weather) can strip
away your skins natural oils. Bio-Oil
works by locking in the skins
moisture and reducing the rate at
which your skin naturally loses
water. The added boost of natural
plant oils such as cell-regenerating
calendula and soothing chamomile,
plus vitamins A and E, help to
improve your skins moisture levels,
elasticity and general health.
How to use
Make Bio-Oil part of your daily
beauty regime by massaging it into
the face and body using circular
motions until fully absorbed. Due
to the dry oils non-greasy nish,
make-up glides straight on without
looking cakey its perfect for busy
people on the go. To start seeing
visible results on your skin, it is
recommended that Bio-Oil is
applied twice daily as part of your
skincare routine, but this can vary
widely depending on your skin
type. It is also clinically proven to
help improve the appearance of
stretch marks formed during
pregnancy or teenage growth
spurts. With so many different uses,
this multifunctional skin saviour
belongs in every bathroom cabinet.
 R E
A IUMY O U A
E M
PR MIS
EC O N O xp e n s i v e ASOS a
Got an e -a-month Deli self a
00
and a 2 u. Consider you k i
yo
We hear f Generation 2
d d
ve
i

r
0
c
r
t
o
ion
o h a b it?

o
member GRIE
R
AMY
Wo r d s

140
 READ

T?
1
 he time is
1pm and an
unseasonal
monsoon has swept over
the Cosmopolitan offices.
The rain is coming down
hard outside, flooding the
cobbled streets. Colleagues
are shuffling into their
coats, groping for
umbrellas under desks,
and debating whether
its possible to get to
and from M&S without
looking like you swam
back. Smugly silent, I sit
at my computer. A few
taps on my iPhone and 20
minutes later my lunch
(chicken meatballs and steamed veg)
arrives in the lobby, handed over by
an (admittedly rather drenched)
UberEats rider in head-to-toe Lycra.
We smile at each other as he hands
over my bounty. Its the third time
weve seen each other this week.
On the barometer of spending
shame (where zero is putting money
in an ISA, and 10 is buying yet more
white Adidas Gazelles to add to my
collection of approximately 86 pairs),
lunchtime takeaways hover at around
So this is
a six or seven. They are lazy and
what they mean
expensive enough that Id by the credit
rather let Piers Morgan do crunch then..?
my next smear test than
admit this to my mum, on an UberExec car Without too much effort, we can live
but not so socially These small (Mercedes, leather seats, the 60k lifestyle on a 20k salary.
unacceptable that I dont life hacks bottle of water) over Like spending a few extra pounds on
mind doing it at work. a standard Uber. Its the a Premium Economy flight rather
But thats because Im
make us same impulse that leads a than the thousands it would cost to
part of a generation that, feel special friend to spend hundreds fly First these small, incremental
above all else, believes in a month on ASOS life hacks make us feel special.
treating themselves to that Premier. She pays a flat fee Unique. Like we can shape the world
little something extra. Its for a year, and can shop to to our needs. And that ability to feel
why I routinely drop 4 on my her hearts content with guaranteed like were affecting change at a time
morning coffee, choosing to spend next-day delivery. Her purchases arrive of pay freezes, a housing crisis, and
the extra 30p to upgrade to Starbucks before all of ours. Shes never seen in mounting political uncertainty is
Reserve beans, all for the pleasure of the same outfit on Instagram twice. very appealing indeed. We are the
a nicer brew and the knowledge that And we never hear the end of it. Premium Economists.
my cup is ever so slightly different The fact is, there are now seemingly The thing is that for people my age
(read: better) than the next persons. endless ways for us to upgrade our (31, cheers for asking), or anyone else
Or why Ill spend three more pounds lives, for a (seemingly) modest price. defined as a millennial (between

142

18-34), the cost of living has spiralled
at precisely the same time that wages
are growing at a slower rate than
inflation. These two factors have also
coincided with a huge rise in what
I personally call fuck-it spending. Our
Instagram feeds are awash with new
shopping hauls, beauty treatments,
holidays and boutique fitness classes.
Some examples of this attitude to
spending include (but are not limited
to): blowing 30 on a gel manicure
every two weeks when we could just
do it ourselves in front of the TV, like
we used to; shelling out upwards of
40 a month for a designer hot wax,waxax,
opping 50 on a specially
then dropping
curated beauty box thats delivered
to your doorstep (who needs
electricity when youve got enough
face wipes to survive a nuclear
holocaust?). Dont even get me
PHOTOGRAPHS PAVEL DORNAK/HEARST STUDIOS, NICOLE HOLCROFT-EMMESS PHOTOGRAPHY. IMAGE COMPOSITION BIMMILL.CO.UK. HAIR AND MAKE-UP
started on at-home or on-demand
beauty treatments. Massages used
to be something my mum got at
health farms. Now, our 22-year-old
intern gets them in her lunch hour.
CHARLOTTE GASKELL AT LHA REPRESENTS, USING BUMBLE AND BUMBLE AND MAC PRO. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES
Then theres the food. I used to
be pretty content with cooking a
decent meal and feeding it to my
friends.
f Then that morphed into
c
cooking a decent meal and putting
itt on my feed. Now its morphed
aggain, and Im not content until
whatever street-food restaurant
(thhe contradiction is implicit but
wh ho cares when the burgers are
that good?) is new to Deliveroo
thatt week. Yes, Im prepared to
pay 20% extra to have my food
delivvered to my desk/house/
park bench. Im also prepared
to pay the extra quid to have
charcoal/matcha/turmeric in
my lattte, and yes, you can
upsell me a vitamin booster
that looks like a sample from
my neig ghbours pond for 2.
We want
w fries that are as
unrelateed to the humble
potato as I am (my personal
favouritees: halloumi, okra,
courgettee and yucca). The
rise of Amazon Prime and Tinder Plus
are part of the same thing: a willingness
to pay for something anything
that gives us a sense of individuality.
Whats more, these lifestyle bolt-ons
that give the hit of dopamine we so
often crave cost temptingly little.
Its not the difference between a
Primark coat and a Prada one. Its the
difference between Warehouse and
Whistles. An upgrade thats subtle,
but suitably indulgent to shout about.
A lot of what were buying, when
we go for these little upgrades, is extraa
status, s y ill Sto , or of Selfie.
espresso tastes better. What Im buying
is that feeling that Ive got a better plethora of other factors that might
coffee than everyone else. Its quite
READ
tragic, but its also very human. Were
a tribal animal and that means that
a pre-occupation with relative status
is part of who we are. The sad fact is
that extra shot of relative status is more
delicious than any coffee, he tells me.
Older generations mistakenly see
our live-and-let-die attitude to money
as flippant, saying the only reason we
spend everything we have (and even
money we dont) on stuff is because
it looks good on social media. Im not
saying that doesnt contribute to the
desire not to
desi o be seen in the same
outfit twice, or to eat whatever is hot
that month. But B to say thats the only
reason is to deeliberately un-see the
also play their part. The days of having
the liberty to put
p 100 into a savings
account havee gone. Not because we
cant, but beecause it seems a bit
pointless. Thee average house deposit
is 33k, and takes 12 years to save
for. Im all for delayed gratification
but seriouslyy? So we buy another
rose-gold housee accessory from
Oliver Bonas insstead. Yes, we should
be putting moneey into our pensions
but with the aveerage person having
four job changes before
b they hit 32,
can you blame us for f not wanting to
deal with the admin n? That 100 could
get us a room upgrade to a suite on
Secret Escapes. Just like
l marriage,
babies and home-own ning, savings now
yet another thing wed d prefer or have
no choice but to deaal with later.
Me? Im going to drow wn my sorrows
in a luxury massage I justj booked on
a whim. Its been a streessful week.
BEHIND THE SCENES
Amy Grierr
When I first moved out of
home, I made e the mistake
of not getting
g my bank
statements redirected straight away. My
mum opened one, and went th hrough all my
non-essential purchases with a highlighter.
I want to say it taught me a lesson but
my Pret coffee bill says otherwise.
143
F L O R A Shirt, 138.83,
Paige. Corset, 12.99,
New Look. Shorts,
17, vintage Adidas
at Ebay.co.uk
F I N L A Y Shirt,
147.05, Paige. T-shirt,
89, Intropia. Jeans,
around 585, Faith
Connexion. Belt,
10, Blitz
T A W A N Floral dress,
16; checked bodysuit,
12, both Beyond
Retro. Checked shirt
(around waist), around
39, Llbean.com.
Beret, 12.99, New
Look. Earrings,
models own
 E W
N DS
K I
f a s
ON T
s
h
o
e
star owcase
h i o
f
r
p
i

n sh take
est
the lat grunge
on 90
s
sing
lanet

TH E
B LO CK F A S H ION
DIRE

PHOT
CT

OGRA
P
O
H
R
E
AM
R
Y B

JANE
ANNE
MC L
RMAN
E I SH K

145
ELSE
Y
FLORA CARTER, 19,
WITH STORM MODELS
How were you scouted?
I went to 14 agencies in
London (and got rejected
by them all). It was only
when I moved to Paris,
got booked for Jean Paul
Gaultiers couture show,
then returned to London,
that I got signed by Storm.
Tell us something funny
I always talk to myself.
Im not crazy, I just have
a lot of thoughts.
Whats your favourite food?
Pizza with a soft egg on top.
And whos your celebrity
crush? Leonardo DiCaprio
for his charisma. Travis Scott
for his style.

146
THIS PAGE: Top,
1,840; skirt, 2,090,
both Mulberry

OPPOSITE: Cardigan,
199; socks, 55,
both Essentiel
Antwerp. Dressing
gown, stylists own.
Bra, 45, Love
Stories. Trousers,
225, Marc Cain.
Choker, 380,
Giuseppe Zanotti.
Sandals, 565,
Mulberry

147
JAMES KAKONGE,
20, WITH MODELS 1

How were you scouted?

My friend took some
headshots of me I sent them
to Models 1 and hey presto!
Tell us something funny
Im a goofy guy. When Im
walking past a group of hot
girls, I almost always trip
over my own feet.
Whats your favourite food?
Pizza and lasagne, but Im
lactose intolerant. Its a bit
of a problem.
And whos your celebrity
crush? Number one: Beyonc.
Number two: Ciara.
M A D E L I N E Cardigan,
545, M Missoni. T-shirt
(just seen), 20, Blitz
J A M E S Cardigan, 280,
360 Cashmere. Shirt, 22,
Blitz. Earrings, models own

149
MADELINE HULME, 16,
WITH STORM MODELS
How were you scouted?
Walking down the Kings Road
in Chelsea two years ago.
Tell us something funny
Im random and often say
weird things.
Whats your favourite
food? Lasagne once
I start I cant stop.
And whos your celebrity
crush? Aidan Turner
from Poldark.
Jumper, 640, Paul & Joe.
Shirt (tied around waist),
325 (sold as set), Yolke.
Skirt, 350, House Of
Holland. Sunglasses, 240,
Dries Van Noten x Linda
Farrow. Shoes, 30, vintage
Converse at Rokit

150
TAWAN KEDKONG, 21,
WITH STORM MODELS
How were you scouted?
I entered a modelling
competition in Thailand when
I was 19, then went on to win
Asias Next Top Model.
Tell us something funny
My friends find it hilarious
that I have a permanently
confused look on my face.
Its not deliberate!
Whats your favourite food?
Papaya salad.
And whos your celebrity
crush? Bruno Mars.
Dress, 29.99; corset, 15.99;
socks, 2.99, all New Look.
Bra, 28; bikini bottoms,
30, both Calvin Klein.
Beret, 27.95, Laulhre
at Hatshopping.co.uk.
Boots, 310, The Kooples

151
 DA S H A A N G E L OVA , 17,
WITH STORM MODELS
How were you scouted?
At a Katy Perry concert.
Tell us something funny
I can awkward-laugh my way
out of sticky situations.
Whats your favourite food?
My Russian grandmas
beef stroganoff.
And whos your celebrity
crush? Actor Gregg Sulkin.
Coat, 1,040, Vivetta at
Liberty. Sweatshirt, 26,
Blitz. Skirt, around 439,
Vanessa Bruno. Socks, 2.99,
New Look. Shoes, 60, Vans

152
FINLAY GRANT,
19, WITH
PREMIER MODELS
How were you scouted?
At Leeds festival, like
practically every other
northern model!
Tell us something funny
I always miss trains.
Whats your favourite food?
Eggs Benedict or kedgeree.
And whos your celebrity
crush? Emma Watson.
F I N L A Y Dungarees, 33,
Blitz. Shirt, 325 (sold as
set with Dashas trousers),
Yolke. Sunglasses, 215,
Saint Laurent Surf at
Otticanet.com. Socks,
13, Falke. Shoes, around
402, Pierre Hardy
D A S H A Coat, around
1,014, Saks Potts. Top,
170, Fenty Puma by
Rihanna. Trousers, 325
(sold as set), Yolke. Socks,
11, Falke. Shoes, 30,
vintage Converse at Rokit

153
 Jumper, 350,
House Of
Holland. Shirt,
138.83, Paige.
Jeans, around
585, Faith
Connexion.
Pyjama pants
(worn under
jeans), 160 for
set, Derek Rose

154
EMILY HILL, 21,
WITH MODELS 1

How were you scouted?

I was 21and applied to
Models 1 online.
Tell us something funny
My parents' nickname for
me is 'mucky pup'.
What's your favourite
food? Mussels and chips.
And who's your celebrity
crush? Jude Law but only
in The Holiday.
Coat, 398, The Kooples.
Dress, 245, Ghost.
Shirt (around waist), 65,
Levis. Shoes, 50, Vans
Hair Sven Bayerbach at
Carol Hayes Management,
using Sachajuan.
Make-up Julie Cooper
at Terri Manduca, using
Charlotte Tilbury. Fashion
assistants Maddy Alford
and Lucy Wilson

155
 S u b s c ribe to
COSMOPOLITAN
DIGITAL EDITION
FOR JUST 12
FOR ONE YEAR!
THE EASIEST WAY TO ENJOY COSMO
WHEREVER AND WHENEVER YOU WANT FOR EVEN LESS!

ORDER SECURELY ONLINE. SIMPLY VISIT:

HEARSTMAGAZINES.CO.UK
JUST
1
AN ISSUE

OR VISIT ANY OF THESE STORES

 SINGLE? SETTLED? WEVE GOT YOU COVERED
WORDS DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPH JOHN GRIBBEN

BACK TO SEX SCHOOL

If the idea of sex ed brings up traumatic memories of watching your form teacher roll
a purple condom over a Sainsburys banana, youll be pleased to hear its smartened up its act.
Bath College now offers a Level-2 accredited course in Sexual Happiness that covers everything
from sexual identity to toys and, we imagine, a lot in between. Meanwhile, the hippest new
social gathering on the streets of east London is Sex Ed for Grown Ups a monthly
workshop series taught by scientists and historians. Now whos a clever dick?

C O S M O P O L I TA N 159
A D U LT N O N - F I C T I O N

MY
BEST SEX
EVER WAS
in front of an audience
When Louisa* went to her first sex club she didnt expect to be the star of the show

Las Vegas: The City Of Sin.
I couldnt think of a sexier
place to indulge my fantasy
of going to a swingers
club, so when my husband Tim*
and I booked our holiday there, it was
the first thing I googled. Quite a few
came up but the Red Rooster was
the one that stood out for both of us:
it looked like a nightclub, but with
a naughty edge. We figured we could
go, watch some couples, then head
back to our hotel for a night of action.
Id gone shopping a few days earlier
and picked out a tight, short black
dress and five-inch stilettos. I was
excited to see what might happen.
But as soon as we entered the club,
I felt deeply disappointed. It looked
nothing like the pictures on the
Couples only sign. Here, people were
chatting in a lounge area and they
were all in their twenties and thirties.
Then we spotted a woman walking
down a hallway with rooms going
off it and followed her down.
The first room was too crowded
for us to even look into, but we heard
enthusiastic moans and I squeezed my
husbands hand as he guided me into
the second room, where a
woman was giving a blow
job to a guy with his hands
tied to the headboard.
There were two other He slid into
couples watching, and me just as a
one guy had his hands
inside his girlfriends
couple came
pants, rubbing her while in to watch
she ground against him.
pushed the door partway closed and
started kissing. We fell onto the bed
and Tim pulled my dress over my hips.
He unzipped and slid into me, just as
the door opened and a couple came in
to watch. At first, I was self-conscious,
but then the woman locked eyes with
me and bit her lip. She unzipped her
mans fly, pulled his penis out and
started rubbing it. Now I didnt care
at all that strangers were
watching it was so hot.
A few other people came
in, and the first woman lay
down on the bed next to
us, looking at me while
her man started touching
her right there beside us.
Then he was on her, and
we were having sex side *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES

website which showed young,
attractive couples. There were way
more men than women, and the
women that were there were dressed
in tacky nylon underwear sets. If you
ignored the lack of clothes, it was like
being at a crap wedding with cheesy
club music and lots of older people
grinding on each other. Not sexy.
Maybe its better up there, my
husband said, nodding towards the
stairs, which were roped off with a
This was more like it. I
was so turned on. The girl
on the bed mounted the man and rode
him to a loud climax as he bucked
against the ties. I felt shivery with
excitement, having watched real people
have sex for the first time. Wow, my
husband said, and we left to see what
was going on in the next room.
It was empty. Before arriving, wed
figured we would just be voyeurs, but
the temptation was too much we
by side. I could feel her
next to me and orgasmed
so hard. My husband joined me, and
collapsed on top. But then, with my
sod-it attitude gone, it was time to
make an exit and leave the more
experienced couples to it. We walked
out, and couldnt stop laughing at
how crazy the whole thing was.
It was the closest weve ever come
to swinging, and enough to fuel
our dirty talk for years to come.

160 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 WORST DATES EVER Hey, weve all been there

After our date, I went

back to his place
which was filled
with an alarming Id popped to the toilet at his, but there When I arrived, my date (who
amount of penguin was no loo roll. When I asked for some, looked nothing like his picture)
memorabilia. Im
talking plates, CD
he handed me an envelope and said, pulled me into a bear hug and
holders, corkscrews. I dont have any, but here run this said, Sorry for how wet I am!
All penguin-themed. under the tap and use that instead. I have a condition that makes
KATE, 27 LOUISE, 26
me sweat a lot.
MARIA, 23

He took me to a spa
and told me that
although he couldnt
MENCANONLYGOINSEXSHOPSIFTHEYREWITH
swim, there was no AWOMAN,HESAID.FANCYIT?IDIDNOT.HESNOW Post-third date, we went
time like the present
to learn. He then
DATINGANARTISTWHOMAKESVAGINAMOULDS. back to mine and had
CARRIE*, 32 sex. Only, he ran to the
almost drowned while
bathroom with a bad
doing doggy paddle.
stomach and was in there
LAURA, 19
for 20 minutes with the
door open. I heard and
smelt everything.
AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN AND LAURA POLKINGHORNE. *NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED

Myblinddatetoldme
He was a pharmacist and tocallhimLondon.His
offered me a flu jab in his shop. actualnamewasAshraf,
When I declined, saying, I dont feel buthed renamedhimself
comfortable having a stranger afterhisfavouritecity.
inject me, he replied, There goes Hethensaidhewantedto
my plan of inviting you back callhisfuturechildEgypt.
to mine later. YASMIN, 25
ROSIE, 33
FERAL FACTOR
TASHA, 25
While we were out, I bent
down to tie my shoelaces
and he said,Checking out
my package for later, are
you? Er, no. No, I wasnt.
NATALIA, 31
Got a dating nightmare to
share? Email worstdatesever
@cosmopolitan.co.uk

HOLD YOUR HORSES CRAZY FROG TOTAL PIG OTTER LOSER

C O S M O P O L I TA N 161
 Casper
Aniek and 2015
da ted in

I love Casper with all my heart

Aniek, 24, is a student from Germany

I was on a night out in Hackney about three years

ago when I noticed that the bartender, Casper, was
really hot. I ordered a drink from him and straight
away we started flirting. He made me laugh so
much, and we were getting on so well, we swapped numbers.
Casper was chasing me a little, which I liked, and after a
bit of flirty texting, we met up for drinks. On our first date,
Casper was such a gentleman hed open doors for me and
pull back my chair. I found him very charming. After we
left the bar, he grabbed hold of my hand and kissed me.
Things moved quickly after that it was exciting and
I loved how attentive he was. We had an amazing time
ANGUS AT S MANAGEMENT. STYLING SAIREY STEMP. ANIEK WEARS: DRESS, ASOS.COM. BOOTS, MISS

together, but from the start we both knew I would be going

AS TOLD TO DANIELLA SCOTT. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND MAKE-UP ROSE

SELFRIDGE. CASPER WEARS: TOP; BARBOUR. JEANS, LEVIS. SHOES, RIVER ISLAND. ANIEK AND

back to Germany to finish my degree. It meant that even

CASPER DINED AT NIRVANA KITCHEN IN MARYLEBONE (NIRVANAKITCHENLONDON.CO.UK)

after six months together, we never said out loud that we

loved each other, although I know we both felt it. We knew
wed have to break up, so it wouldnt have been fair.
As my leaving date got nearer, Id get upset, but we wanted
to be realistic and respect each other, so we tried not to talk
about it unless we had to. It was hard, and there was a lot left
unsaid. We also agreed that we wouldnt speak again once
I was back in Germany, and we pretty much kept to that.
The date was flirty and fun, and we laughed all evening.
I was excited about seeing him again. We spoke a bit about
what could have been, and
I told him I thought he looked Would you see him again?
good. It wasnt awkward. We I would definitely go on
joked and I remembered how another date. It was lovely
much I can be myself around going somewhere romantic,
him. I love Casper with all and I know wed have the
best time. But I think, for
my heart, just sadly not in me, thats as far as it goes.
the same way any more.

162 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 Each
month,
month we
send tw
wo
former lovers
on a date to
see whaat
happenns

We had our own little club

Casper, 25, is an advertising executive from Windsor

I was at my bar job when this extremely attractive

girl came over to order a drink. It was loud, so I
couldnt really hear what she was saying, which gave
me an opportunity to have a joke with her. Aniek
is German and I spoke a little of the language, so we had
something to vibe off, and I managed to get her number.
Later that week, we went on a date and got on really well.
She came back to mine afterwards and, from there, things got
fairly intense. At first, we both tried to be casual about it, but
it quickly turned into something else when we saw each
other it was usually for several days at a time. Were both
fiercely practical, but our relationship worked because we
brought out the romantic side in each other. Wed have lots of
in-jokes and speak in German in public, so people couldnt
understand us. It was like having our own little club.
We never said we loved each other. We were so concerned
with keeping things relaxed because Aniek was leaving, so we
were quite coy about it. I was thinking it, though. But now,
Ive had to push any feelings I may have had under the carpet.
I remember walking her to the station on the morning of
her flight. It felt surreal we were both trying to pretend it
wasnt happening. If wed known shed have been moving
back to London, maybe things would have been different.
Over dinner, we were definitely flirting. Beforehand,
we were both afraid of doing
anything just the two of us, in Would you see her again?
case feelings got dredged up, Im just not sure its a case
but the date turned out to be of never say never. But
really fun and comfortable. maybe we had our moment,
and I dont want us to do
4Would you like to be reunited anything that might cause
with your rst love? Email us at any more sadness.
rst.love@cosmopolitan.co.uk.

C O S M O P O L I TA N 163
 BECAUSE LIFES ALL ABOUT THE 5-9
*SERIOUSLY, THE MARRIOTT IS EVEN FLOGGING LUXURY SHOWER CURTAINS. WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. ILLUSTRATION PETER CROWTHER

ANYTHING FROM THE MINIBAR?

Ever considered pocketing the entire contents of your hotel room along with the bathroom
miniatures? Us, too. And were in luck, as canny abodes are now letting guests buy the bed,
bath* and beyond. Almost all of the lamps and club chairs in Soho House hotels and Londons
new-cool-kid-on-the-block The Ned can be purchased through Sohohome.com, while W
Hotels will sell you the bed you slept in, as well as the art on the walls. Our favourite? Hotel
Gotham in Manchester, which offers a swag bag service: chuck everything, from mugs to bed
throws, in the provided sacks and pay when you check out. Stealing has never felt so chic.

167
Time-poor but rolling
in cash? Broke but
have holiday left?
Whichever it is, weve
got a trip that ts
 If you have 8 days and = Dream Phuket Hotel & Spa, Thailand
Island-hopping, lots of shopping and lounging on a beach called Paradise: Diddy would be so proud

boat and snorkel Koh Phi Phi: Leonardo

trips. We paid DiCaprio not included,
but still pretty great
FROM: around 30 for a day
LONDON GATWICK of exploring three
TO: islands (including
PHUKET Koh Phi Phi, where
INTERNATIONAL The Beach was
DEP ARR filmed). Block out a
OUT

12:20 05:50 (next day) day in your schedule

to visit the old town
RETURN

DEP ARR
08:00 15:00
CHECK-IN
Your transfer to the Dream
Phuket Hotel & Spa, a
chic and secluded resort
with a booming poolside
sound system, takes
around half an hour from
the airport, so youve
got time to freshen up
before starting your day.
Thailands seven hours
ahead of GMT, so youre
going to feel like napping.
Good excuse for needing
a pool day, if you ask us.
GET BUSY
First rule of Thailand:
always barter. Second
rule: you must
download the taxi
app Grab to save
a shedload (its
basically the Asian
equivalent of
Uber). Make your
way into tourist
beach hub Patong
and haggle at one
of the stalls selling
island-hopping
of Patong, too, and
stop off at OTOP
market (open day
and night) to buy,
well, anything from
sandals to a tattoo
(of course you wont
regret the Sanskrit
song lyrics when
you get home). You
cant leave without
visiting the famous
sleeping Buddha
statue mostly
for the electronic
fortune-telling
machine. For the rest
of the trip? There are
30 beautiful beaches to for 40 at the
test (hit Paradise, which Dream Beach
does what it says on the Club Phuket.
tin) with locals walking Yes, the chunk
the sands offering aloe of pineapple
vera rubs for your garnishing the pia
sunburn. Oh, and try the colada you wash it
day-long Sunday brunch down with counts as
one of your five a day,
absolutely no question. Korz watch, honest.
With your morning flight
home, youll be back in
CHECK-OUT time for the 10 oclock
Pack up all those wooden news (OK, The Xtra Factor)
bags/coasters/ornaments the very same day. i
you got for your mum and
the designer bargains you Rooms from 120; Dreamhotels.
haggled for at the markets com/phuket. Return flights
no one will notice the from 475; Thomson.co.uk
Z on your new Michael

Bring your shades, if

C O S M O P O L I TA N 169
only for the sunbeds
 If you have 7 days and = St Jamess Club & Villas, Antigua
Whats that? You want us to switch off our phones, eat lobster and bathe in a hot lagoon? Urgh, FINE

Hello, Mum? Yeah,

oother is lapped by the I live here now, OK?
wwaves and breeze of the
FROM: AAtlantic. When youve
LONDON GATWICK mmaxed out on sun,
TO: aall-inclusive meals and
ANTIGUA VC BIRD ssundowners (Ink and
INTERNATIONAL DDrink sunset sessions,
DEP ARR involving collective
OUT

10:20 13:50 ggrown-up colouring-in

aand cocktail guzzling, are
RETURN

DEP ARR
18:50 07:45 (next day) ddefinitely worth a punt),
ttry your hand at the free
wwatersports and packed
rroster of fitness classes. We
((sort of) learned to canoe,
specifically so we could see
CHECK-IN whether one-time Bond
Youll arrive just in time Timothy Dalton was in
for cocktail hour at St residence in his beach
Jamess beachside bar. house at the mouth
Sunsets around 6pm of the lagoon he
giving you a chance to wasnt. Tom Hardy
do a quick diva change (said to be a fan of
and get out on deck before the resort) wasnt toes in the sand and
the sky turns that uniquely there, either. Probably decide its probably best
Caribbean shade of pink. for the best. Restraining you come on holiday
And if you fall asleep in orders are pesky things to more often.
your jumbo prawns at get rid of. We digress. If,
dinner, dont be surprised like us, you find it hard to done with the hot-dog-or-
theyre four hours genuinely switch off on legs debacle. Fancy
CHECK-OUT
behind us (GMT). holiday, St Jamess offer a exploring? Antiguas An early-evening flight
mind and body relaxation English Harbour is a leaves you plenty of time
programme. Try sunrise 15-minute drive away and to snaffle one last lunch
GET BUSY Floatfit Aquabase classes replete with colonial by the pool, and as youll
BUT the time difference essentially HIIT buildings at the Nelsons arrive the next morning,
means youll be up at the workouts performed on Dockyard World Heritage you could go into the
crack of dawn jogging mats on the water. Good site and retired ex-pat office, depending on
on the beach before luck. Theres also mobile- Hooray Henrys. For a where in the country you
breakfast (naturally). free beaches for those dreamy lunch, book a table work. Work remember?
This resort has not at Catherines, The place where people
one, but two huge two bays away ask you constant questions
beaches, thanks to at Pigeon Point and steal your biro?
its location on a Beach. In the
private peninsula. shade of the
One is a dead calm neem trees, sip Flights and seven nights
at St Jamess Club &
and boiling-hot chilled Chablis Villas, from 1,846;
lagoon on the and eat lobster Hayesandjarvis.co.uk
inside, and the salad with your

170 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 If you have 5 days and = Ngala Lodge, The Gambia
If its tropical views, puff puff (not how it sounds) and a bit of history youre after, this is the place to be

euphemism) and a local fishing

village. Spend your third day
with Ida the Gambian
FROM: supper-club queen who hosts
BIRMINGHAM AIRPORT dinner parties and cooking
TO: courses in her courtyard (from
BANJUL 27) and on your fourth
INTERNATIONAL day, wed recommend mostly
horizontal meditation (aka
DEP ARR snoozing on a lounger).
OUT

08:10 14:35
CHECK-OUT
RETURN

DEP ARR
15:50 22:00
CHECK-IN
This early Thomas Cook flight
(they also fly from London
Gatwick) means you can be
at your hotel we like Ngala
Lodge, a child-free zone with
tropical gardens and a view of
th
he ocean by 4pm. They are
also on the same time zone
as GMT, so no jetlag. Spend
a few hours chilling (or book
a massage with therapist
Yassin), watch the sun set at
around 8pm, then head to the
cliff-top restaurant for dinner.
On a tight schedule? Book
in for the Six Tours in One*
Before you go, make the
eight-minute car ride over
to Calypso Beach Bar &
Restaurant at Cape Point for
(52) the following day, which
early brunch (also great for
includes a trip to the ancient
nighttime cocktails), then head
Kachikally crocodile pool, two
market trips, a break at the
back to catch the flight home.
beautiful Lamin Lodge for
coffee and puff puff (nope, not Rooms from 134;
Snoops special herbs, but Ngalalodge.com. Flights
a traditional doughnut snack from 81.99 one way;
thatll have you drooling), Thomascookairlines.com
Gambian wrestling (not a

If you have 3 days and = Cornaro Hotel, Croatia

Want to chase Waterfalls in a place thats far from Unpretty? Nothing to do with TLC. Everything to do with Croatia

i
into Split old town (but Test your head for heights final day, hire bikes to
dont dick around at the
d by wobbling your way to Bene beach, where you
FROM: aairport, the buses leave the top of the Palaces bell can relax, beer in hand,
LUTON promptly 30 minutes after
p tower for a view of the then jump off the pier
TO: aarrival times). Once youve Adriatic sea. Then reward into the clear water
SPLIT CROATIA dumped your stuff in your
d yourself with pizza and ice
rroom at the Cornaro cream try Portas Pizzeria
DEP ARR Hotel, decamp to the
H and Luka. Day two, take a
CHECK-OUT
OUT

*VISIT GAMBIA.CO.UK/EXCURSIONS-AND-EXPERIENCES

06:25 09:55 rrooftop bar and its two hot bus tour to Krka National Youll need to dry off by
ttubs. And, no, the waiters Park (home to seven 4pm to catch the bus back
RETURN

DEP ARR
19:05 20:45 dont mind taking endless
d waterfalls), and on your to Split airport. Stock
pictures of you
p up on Touche Eclat in
posing in them.
p duty-free and no one will
Next, head to
N know youve been away. i
Diocletians Palace,
D
once home to a
CHECK-IN Roman Emperor,
Rooms from 200;
Cornaro.com. Flights from
When you arrive, catch the now full of shops, 70 return; Easyjet.com
airport shuttle bus straight bars and restaurants.

C O S M O P O L I TA N 171
 If you have Friday-Sunday and = Grand Hotel Tremezzo, Lake Como
Stunning lakes,
lakes wine,
wine m
men and all the pasta you can eat. Really, whats not to like?

get
g in just in time for a
late lunch on the terrace.
FROM: Follow
F this with an ESPA
LONDON HEATHROW massage
m at the T Spa,
TO: before
b claiming one of
MILAN LINATE the
t sofas in the opulent
relaxation
r room.
DEP ARR
OUT

07:35 10:35 GET BUSY

RETURN

DEP ARR
19:55 20:50 S your alarm and go for
Set
a dawn swim. Tremezzos
f
floating pool is a thing of
beauty,
b slap bang in the
middle
m of the lake. Grab
a take-out breakfast before side of the lake and
CHECK-IN heading to Villa Carlotta whizz back. If
First things first: Take next door, whose botanical youre feeling up for
hand luggage to avoid gardens will make you it, sneak in a quick
the epic Italian baggage weep at the state of yours game of tennis on
queues. Next up: Grab back home. Next, take the Tremezzos clay court
an Uber out of Linate and ferry, a few minutes stroll before dinner at LEscale
get them to stop en route from Tremezzo, which will Trattoria & Wine Bar.
at the amazing Marni take you to the scenic town Here, youll drink the
outlet (via Filippo Tajani) of Bellagio. Grab lunch at finest Rossinis in Italy.
CHECK-OUT
for any last-minute outfits Bar Caff Rossi, buy a silk Warning: may lead to Take a walk along the lake,
you need to supplement scarf, take a picture of a belief you can speak then pop to the shops on
your capsule Como Tremezzo from the other Italian after one too many. the waters edge. Grab
wardrobe. (FYI: luxury Marvis toothpaste
Tremezzo is Uncanny how from the chemist (a third
well-attired. This much this looks of the price that it is at
like our garden
is the place to home); Rummo dried
bring that dress pasta from the corner shop
you bought at the (you can only find this in
Harrods sale in top-notch delis in the UK);
2008, wondering, and the best bamboo bed
as you handed linen made for Tremezzo
over your credit from their shop. Today is
card, where on a pool day lucky, as this
earth you would hotel has three. Then dry
ever wear such a off and head back home.
thing.) Como is an
hours drive away,
traffic dependent, Three nights, B&B,
at the Grand Hotel
but its very scenic
Tremezzo, with return
make sure your flights, from 1,299;
phone is fully Classic-collection.co.uk
charged. Youll

172 C O S M O P O L I TA N
 If you have 1 night and = The Royal Crescent Hotel & Spa, Bath
So its Saturday and you want to do something fancy how about afternoon tea with a large slice of culture?

Bath: less watery

than we imagined

CHECK-OUT
Save yourself for afternoon
tea its basically a religion
at this place. Go for The
FROM: TO: Elizabeth Montagu, and
LONDON PADDINGTON BATH SPA gorge on cinnamon butter,
OUT RETURN your mind, a two (its a five-minute walk Bath buns and lamb koftas.
DEP ARR DEP ARR Deluxe Suite down the hill). We fell in Take the leftovers home,
09:00 10:25 17:18 18:59 with a four- love with The Chequers at then dig in smugly as
poster bed is 50 Rivers Street. Dinner is those eating National
what youre the main event here, and Rails finest sandwiches
after
ft M More a gourmand back at the Royal Crescent, look on, salivating.

WORDS FARRAH STORR, CATRIONA INNES, INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN, JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS TONY
KELLY FOLIO ID/TRUNKARCHIVE.COM, TOMMY PICONE, ROBERTO BONARDI, SHUTTERSTOCK, GETTY IMAGES
who wants to stagger no the tasting menu would be
CHECK-IN more than 10ft from the rude to ignore. It will go Rooms from 295,
hotels fine-dining on into the early hours, Royalcrescent.co.uk.
Check-in isnt until 2pm,
Advance train tickets
so put on your walking restaurant? Then go for but thats kind of the from London Paddington,
shoes and take a wander a Master Room in The point as you only have from 20 return
round Bath. Pop into the Coach House. to trip upstairs to bed.
Charlotte Brunswick
Chocolate shop on
Church Street and buy
GET BUSY
a box of Bath Bun Truffles The pool can get busy on a
for after dinn
ner. Once back, Saturdayy afternoon,
its check-in time. Rooms so book a decadent
in the main house
h 90-minu ute massage
are ravishinglly pa after
at the sp
grand with lunch, bbefore
antiques and settling iinto the
views over the sauna aand pool
Crescent or th he und 5pm.
at arou
hotels gardenns, and Youlll want
if romance dinner around Feel right at (The
Queens) home in
(read: 8pm, so head into The Drawing Room
coitus) is on Bath for a ccocktail or

C O S M O P O L I TA N 173
 The humble toastie has evolved into the seriously grown-up
cheese melt. All you need: cheese, bread and an empty stomach

GRILLYCHEESESTEAK
INGREDIENTS
2 tbsp olive oil
white onion, finely sliced
1 green pepper, deseeded
and finely sliced
100g mushrooms, finely sliced
METHOD
Ser ves
2
1. Heat the oil in a frying pan and add the onion. Cook
for 5 minutes, then add the green pepper. Cook for 3-5
minutes until softened, add the mushrooms and season.
200g bavette 2. Transfer to a mixing bowl. Flash-fry the steak strips
or rib-eye steak, cut for 2 minutes. Season and combine with the vegetables.
into thin strips 3. Place the bread slices buttered side down and top two
4 slices of sourdough bread, with 75g grated cheese each. Add the veg, steak and rest
buttered on one side of the cheese. Close and cook go all George Foreman on
200g mixed grated cheese it, or fry in a dry pan, pushing down on it with a spatula. i

Psst... Need a veggie version? Quorn do an impressive steak alternative or diagonally slice a portobello mushroom.

C O S M O P O L I TA N 175
 Ser ves
2 METHOD
FRESH
TUNAMELT
INGREDIENTS
2 x 120g fresh tuna fillets
4 slices of sourdough bread,
buttered on one side
200g mixed grated cheese
2 tbsp wasabi mayonnaise
1 tbsp capers
4 gherkins, sliced
2 tsp finely diced onion
Couple of handfuls of rocket
176 C O S M O P O L I TA N
MELT-O-METER
1. Rub the tuna fillets all over with a little olive oil and
heat up a griddle pan over a high heat. When the
Theres only one thing we like
more than science, and thats
pan is smoking hot, add the tuna and sear it for
a minute on each side.
2. Remove the tuna from the pan, season to taste
and set it aside to rest and cool slightly, before
cheese-based science. For
optimum meltability inside
your sandwich, your fromage
should have a ph of between
cutting into slices 4mm thick. For the best flavour, approximately 5.3 and 5.8.
it should be nice and pink in the middle. Heres our pick of the best
3. Place the bread slices buttered side down and toastie fillers
sprinkle the grated cheese evenly over two of
the slices, followed by the sliced tuna.
4. Spread the wasabi mayonnaise onto the other 1. GOUDA
two slices of bread. (pH around 5.3)
5. Finally divide the capers, sliced gherkins and The nutty flavour
diced onion between each slice, finishing off with the matches deliciously with green
handfuls of rocket. Close the sandwiches and toast. apple and prosciutto.
2. MONTEREY JACK
(pH around 5.3)
Found mainly in fancy
burger pop-ups. Eat with sliced
pastrami for New York deli style.
3. PARMESAN
(pH around 5.4)
Add honey and fig for
Mediterranean goodness and
double the gooeyness.
4. MANCHEGO
(pH around 5.4)
Goes well with bacon
(extra crispy) and dates. Buy it
aged for added tanginess.
5. MOZZARELLA
(pH around 5.5)
Soft, milky and
enviably stringy. Add tuna,
rosemary, red onion and capers.
6. GRUYERE
(pH around 5.6)
The best melter of the
bunch, with a balance of sweet and
salty. Pair with onion and fennel.
7. SWISS
(pH around 5.6)
Eat on toasted rye
with corned beef, sauerkraut and
mustard mayo AKA a Reuben.
8. MILD CHEDDAR
(pH around 5.8)
Old faithful Cheddar
or red Leicester go with anything.
Melt onto a fork if you want to.

PHOTOGRAPHS MARTIN POOLE. ADDITIONAL WORDS NAMMIE MATTHEWS. ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES
MARINATEDCOURGETTE
ANDGOATS CHEESE Serves
INGREDIENTS
4 slices sourdough bread,
buttered on one side
200g mixed grated
cheese
80g fresh goats
cheese
FOR THE MARINATED
COURGETTE
1 courgette
red chilli, deseeded
(optional) and finely
chopped
8 fresh mint leaves,
finely sliced
Finely grated zest
and juice of lemon
1 tbsp olive oil
Psst... Like things spicy? Leave the chilli seeds in for extra heat.
Ser ves
PIZZA 1 METHOD
GRILLED
CHEESE
INGREDIENTS
3 slices of basic
white bread, buttered
on one side
1 slice of
smoked Cheddar
2 tbsp ready-made
pizza sauce
2 slices of
American cheese
50g grated mozzarella
FOR THE TOPPINGS
1 tbsp sweetcorn
3 slices of pepperoni
(optional)
5 jalapeo chillies from
a jar, roughly chopped
TO MAKE THE
FRAZZLE CRUST
2 handfuls of
grated Cheddar
2 handfuls of
crushed Frazzles
Psst... Yes, you read that correctly. FRAZZLE CRISPS!
METHOD
2
1. Slice the courgette
lengthways into 34mm slices
and place in a bowl. Add the
chilli, mint and lemon zest and
juice. Drizzle over the oil, mix,
cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.
2. Heat a griddle pan to
medium. Cook the courgette for
three minutes on each side.
3. Place the bread buttered side
down. Sprinkle the grated
cheese evenly over two of the
slices and divide the courgette
over the top. Crumble the goats
cheese on top, close and toast.
Tastes like summer (even when
bucketing outside).
1. Place one slice of bread
buttered side down. Lay the
slice of smoked Cheddar on
the bread, then spread over
1 tablespoon of pizza sauce.
Put the sweetcorn on top,
then another slice of bread.
2. Add the American cheese,
a second tablespoon of pizza
sauce, the pepperoni (if
using), mozzarella, jalapeos,
and the third slice of bread,
buttered side facing out.
3. For the Frazzle crust, cook
the sandwich in a skillet pan,
pressing down until the
cheese melts. Set it aside
and place the pan back over
a medium heat. Sprinkle in
a handful of grated Cheddar
and, when bubbling, add a
handful of the Frazzles and
your closed sandwich. Press
down with a spatula so it
melts evenly and cook for
34 minutes. Flip and repeat
on the other side, adding
the remaining Cheddar and
Frazzles to the pan, and
then the turned sandwich.
4. Cut and devour.
These recipes were
extracted from Grill My
Cheese by Nisha Patel
and Nishma Chauhan
(Quadrille,
12.99)
 DESIGN
DOUBLES
Oxblood + matt black +
shiny gold = the only
threesome your mother
would approve of
BLOWOUT BUDGET
Light, 143,
Light, 325, Maisonsdu Mirror,
Tom Dixon Mirror, monde.com 95,
839, John
Rume. Lewis
co.uk

Chair,
345, Chair, 49,
Jug, 49.95, The Jug, Danetti.com
Black-by- Conran 25,
design.co.uk Cushion, 99, Andrew Martin Habitat Cushion, 11.99, Argos
Shop

Faux succulent, Faux succulent,

42, Tch.net 4.99, Home Sense

Clock, 89, Clock, 45, Black-

Dowsingandreynolds.com by-design.co.uk

Paint in Table lamp,

Paint in
Tuscan 65.99,
Table Sandy
Red, 47 Maisonsdu
lamp, 219, Peppers,
for 2.5l, monde.com
Outthere 28 for 2.5l,
Little
interiors.com Valspar
Greene
COMPILED BY JESS HURRELL

Vase, 184,
Skultana
for Amara.com Vase, 15,
Dining table, 3,150, John Lewis
The Conran Store Dining table, 150, IKEA

C O S M O P O L I TA N 179
cosmoadvertisement

BEAUTY & FASHION

Feel condent this season

THE ULTIMATE WINTER FORMULA

Harbouring powerful anti-ageing and
moisturising properties, the Pro-Intense
Hyaluronic Acid Illuminating Day Cream
from Avant Skincare has been specically
formulated with the signature ingredient
Hyaluronic Acid and aims to protect,
intensively hydrate and illuminate your
skin. It works to balance oil and sebum
production, and reverse the signs of
ageing whilst targeting imperfections.
Avant Skincare unite carefully selected
plant and lab-based actives to create
groundbreaking formulations that
genuinely transform your skin. Each
ingredient has been chosen for its health
and beauty benets. The experience is
exceptional, the results are real.
Cosmo readers receive 15% OFF the entire
Avant range. Enter the discount code
COSMO at the checkout.
www.avant-skincare.com

NEW DIMENSION
New Dimension is
an exclusive luxury
activewear brand who
caters to fashionable and
active women.
Their high quality
endurance clothes shape
your curves and enhance
your assets.
The nest materials for
leisurewear are like a
second skin and provide
super comfort.
Order now at
www.newdimension.hr
to leave an indelible mark
of luxury and style.
SPARKLE GUILT-FREE WITH ECO GLITTER FUN Exclusive distributors
Regular glitter is made from plastic, similar to micro beads, which are wanted! business@
now banned. Our glitter is 100% biodegradable, so you can twinkle, newdimensionpro.com
shine and dazzle without causing harm to Mother Earth.
Cosmo readers receive 15% off the range.
Enter the code BIOGLITTERCOSMO at the checkout.
www.ecoglitterfun.com
 cosmoadvertisement

OCTOBER MUST-HAVES
This months essentials

DO YOU KNOW WHATS IN YOUR BEAUTY PRODUCTS?

The ones youre using on your skin? Oops! I wasnt either, until I developed my own luxurious, natural skincare range: SELF!
And, the good news is: SELF skincare is 100% vegan skincare.
All pure and natural, basically you could eat it! No dirty nasties, totally cruelty-free and suitable for even the most sensitive skin.
Treat yourself with some SELF-time and hello healthy glowing skin!
www.naturalself.eu

NU COLOUR LIP
PLUMPING BALM
Give your lips an instant
boost and perfect your pout.
Nu Colour Lip Plumping Balm
will help your lips look fuller,
while also helping them feel
INNOCENT BONES moisturised and soft.
Modern, unique and sometimes a little naughty! At Innocent Bones we Wear it on its own for
make cross stitch and embroidery kits for all you craft lovers. Innocent plumped looking lips with
Bones kits are lovingly designed to help you create on-trend gifts and a hint of colour, or under
pieces for your home. All kits are made with beginners in mind, so if your lipstick or lip gloss as a
youre not an expert dont worry. protective base coat.
Grab yours at www.innocentbones.com Available soon from
Instagram: _innocentbones www.nuskin.com
cosmoadvertisement

HEALTH& BEAUTY
Look
ook good, feel gr
great
reat

PRIMA MAKEUP
Sparkle this autumn with Primas
range of sensationally glittery
cosmetics. From highly pigmented
NIOR LONDON pressed glitters to scented sparkling
An innovative range of luxurious skincare products, uniquely tailored to your skin concerns. glitter mixes. We have all you need to
Carefully blended with optimal levels of clinically certied active ingredients, and delicately create an amazing impact. Sparkle bar
wrapped in beautiful gold encrusted packing, Niors timeless range create a perfect marriage event service now available!
between science and luxury. From plumping and smoothing wrinkles, to reducing the www.primamakeup.com
appearance of stretch marks; each unique formulation, leaves your skin looking and feeling instagram: @primamakeup_
transformed. To discover the full collection, visit www.nior.london. 15% off with code COSMO15

TAKE CONTROL OF EMBARRASSING

LOOK YOUNGER LONGER
WITH REGENTIV
THE SPECIALIST SERUMS advanced Retinol
formula minimises facial lines, wrinkles,
crepey eye tissue, sun and skin damage,
helping to transform the future of your skin.
30ml 29.95, 50ml 44.95, 100ml 79.95,
200ml 149, free p&p. Apply code COSMO10
at checkout for exclusive reader 10% discount.
www.regentiv.co.uk
To speak to a Regentiv advisor or order
01923 212555. For exclusive offers email
enquiries@regentiv.co.uk
LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD
Shreddies Flatulence Filtering Garments are
the perfect solution to atulence related
issues. Using activated carbon panels they
can lter all atulence odours and their
stylish designs are so subtle they look just like
regular garments. With underwear, jeans and
pyjamas available to buy from their website
theyll have you covered from day to night!
Shop online www.myshreddies.com
LEAKS TODAY
Did you know that poor bladder control is
a symptom of stress incontinence? If left
untreated, it can quickly develop into a
bigger problem.
The good news is you can put a stop to
these leaks without medical intervention.
This is where the PelvicToner can help. NHS
approved, clinically proven and available
on prescription, the PelvicToner can help
strengthen your pelvic oor in a matter of
weeks. So whats stopping you?
To purchase a PelvicToner today for only
29.99 delivered (no prescription needed),
or to nd out more, visit pelvictoner.co.uk
or call PT Direct on 0117 974 3534.
Theres never been a better time to
take control.
 COURSES cosmoclassied
*&%$ *& (/0-+./-)0 &-/,&)0
-+./-0*! 0.(/0/,-0

,-,(0%,./-

/
-+./-
,-+,' )(-*!. .,%) #+.( &)+/ &)" -+'+,% *!
(/ -+./-) &-/,& -+.,+') %,-/). +'$//'$/'.
#-+.+'0)(**%0,*&.0#(,.0+.0.,/)0.*0/0,0#-+./-

(* $* "*& .(+' ,' / , #-+./- .(/' &)+/ !0<6;<82 5:

4 2 , ;
9 1
<9 8
7<8 2 0<9 < 
/
::4

  
<
; <

 9

 ;8; 9 0<9
&5

<
4 8
7<8 

 5

:
<
3
6 

 7  9 ;

3
6 9
6 3

: 
9
 
2

:: 
 

9
8

," &. +! )*/*'/ ,%-/,$" (,) .(,. -,!.+' )+-+. #(/-/

$*/) (/ -+./-) &-/,& !+. +'
&. ,' "*& -/,%%" )," )*/*'/ +) , #-+./- +! .(/" ./. ,'$ /
::4  1 ; 5<8
<
:8
4 7
<6 9
< 

96  8 7 4
.#//. /
 .

  ;

; < ;

18<9  

<9 
) 

::6 ( 55
;
<

:1

! 
2

::6 

< :9
<

2 <79
<

<9 ;
:5 ;
 7<9  ;
 ;
62


<
;2

<<8 7 ;
 <8 . 
::<8 
  7
<9 89
 /
;
< ; ;
 ;  8
 5

 

96 7 <4 
<:<
 <8  0<9
3
< ;

4 6 

 5
5:
; 
7 ;
623
8 ;

 5:
;
<
7 <<8 ;

3
 
:
< ;
6 
6
;
 
<
<

<9 5:
6 ; 94 ;; 
89 <9
< ;
 ;
3
< 55
4 5
9 1
<8  ;
 ;<8
) .(,. #(,. (,/'/$ #+.( .(+) "/,-) -+./- *! .(/ /,-

* $* "*& '//$ .* / , )/+,% /-)*' .* ).&$" #+.( (/ ,-,( %,./-
-+./-) &-/,& &
:6 /;
< %

; 7 ,<
9  ;

<
9  
<3
: ::
)

:: /. ;
 

< 8<8 7 +* 6

 < 4
<9 ;8; 
9
 . < ;
 
;
93

9

:
< 7 <<#7< %;
2
5
5:

  ; 3
6 :

 ,
3
4 ;
 ;
3
::

;
< < < ;
 7; <<#7< 14

< ;
:7 ;
 <
7

3
8
9

 9 
;<8 

3
 9
< 
7
:: <84
<9 <
<8 <
 ; ;
 ;
<9 $
<9 $
 7 
18<94
<9
::  7 :
 :

76 ;
#<
 

3
/
2
 59 7 ;
 %;
2 1
9 ;
9
<9 < ;
3::
8
4 :<8 07
< 
4
<9
3
6 ;


:



< ;
55<

 ;
623


<4 ;; , 8
  ; ;

::


,6 ;
3

<2 

::6 
< ; 
7
4 
83
;
 1::4
<9
<79
<

<9 9

<
< 
<

::6 9

7
5


&5:
;
 5<4 ;
< 5
5

;
 7
55
;
 
;

94
8
<
<9 59
 ;2::
3
<
::6 5; ;
 1  '" !+',% #*-$) *! ,$+/ !*- ,)+-+' #-+./-)
< ;
:9 05
 7 
1<8 <
7  
4 6 

< ) 
:64 ( 
:
3


  9 ;

;<8 :64 

9 :4
<9 9
:6 )
&4 

&. "*& &). / %**+' !*- )*/.(+' 
 ;
 5:

9

::6
3
6 9
6 0<9 7<
::64 :

< 
9


<
< 05
 7


<
:
:
3
: 7 
< <8:;4 ;
2
:: 0<6<
; 
< 9 ;

;

;<8 
:: < ;

6  59<8

2

7
 8

 1

*. .,%/'. (7 629 :1

 7<9  

 ;
/
 .

4 
1

:1

/
::4 ;
 ;
:5 . 
:
<2 < 89 7 6 <2 5 ;
; < (2 ;


 


   
:: ;
 7

5;<
<

;


<
:: ;


3
<9
 1
$ 

; 
9 
1 < +-"+ -*-- * +--* :



. "
Please send me details on how I can become a writer.

  
 


                                                     

    


                                                    


As a freelance writer, you can earn very good money in journalism, writing for children, radio, TV, the stage etc. You
your spare time, writing the stories, articles, books, scripts are advised on style, presentation, HOW TO SELL YOUR
etc that editors and publishers want. Millions of pounds WRITING, copyright and much more. In short, you learn                                    
             
are paid annually in fees and royalties. Earning your how to be a successful writer. 
                                                      
share can be fun, profitable and creatively fulfilling. If you want to be a writer, this is the way to start! Its ideal for Freepost RSSK-JZAC-JCJG
To help you succeed, we offer you a first-class, home-study beginners. No previous experience or special education required. The Writers Bureau
course from professional writers with individually tailored You can earn while you learn. Details free. Full refund if not Dept BD917, 8-10 Dutton Street, Writers
Bureau 28 Years of
Success
tuition and expert personal guidance from your tutor. You successful.Visit our website or call NOW! Manchester, M3 1LE
email: 17W1@writersbureau.com Members of BILD
learn about writing articles, stories, novels, romances, historicals,
0800 856 2008 www.facebook.com/thewritersbureau
and ABCC
www.writersbureau.com Please quote BD917 www.twitter.com/writersbureau

FOR DETAILS OF CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING PLEASE TELEPHONE 020 3728 6260 OR VISIT WWW.HEARSTMAGAZINESDIRECT.CO.UK
cosmoclassied BEAUTY & SWIMWEAR

ESTABLISHED 2000
Welcome to the Laser Treatment Clinic. We are your go-to Skin Experts. Founded
in 2000 at number 1 Harley Street London, we have the experience, knowledge
and skill required to provide honest expert advice whatever your skin concern
may be. You can rest assured you are in the safe hands and expert care of our
team of Medical Experts, Skin Specialists and Laser Practitioners and our 15 years
experience here at our Harley Street clinic utilising cutting edge treatments and
skincare products makes all the difference.

If you have any skin concern listed below simply call or email us. Our friendly team
will book you in for a Free Consultation with our experienced Skin Expert.

LASER HAIR REMOVAL HYPER-PIGMENTATION

UNWANTED TATTOOS BLACK SKIN PIGMENTATION
ACTIVE ACNE TREATMENT SKIN DISCOLOURATION
ACNE SCARRING TREATMENT UNEVEN SKIN TONE
STRETCH MARK TREATMENT SCAR TREATMENT
LINES & WRINKLES REDUCTION BIRTH MARKS
ANTI-AGEING SKIN REVITALISING THREAD VEINS
SUN DAMAGE/FRECKLES TREATMENT ROSACEA

BOOK A FREE CONSULTATION

CALL US NOW 020 7307 8712
1 Harley Street, London W1G 9QD
For current special offers visit;
www.thelasertreatmentclinic.com

alina petra
Launched in 2016, Alina Petra, a women's
swimwear brand, has a goal to blend high
fashion as well as Brazilian trend using the
most luxurious fabrics and attering cut for
their swimsuits. Designed and manufactured
in Los Angeles, the brand strives to make all
their products as comfortable and fun as
possible to wear all day long. Started as a
simple reversible bikini design, Alina Petra
quickly became fashionable swimwear
brand with a large variety of feminine
styles to choose from. Being inspired by the
beaches of Los Angeles and fashionable
city life of London and Paris, the designer's
goal is to deliver beachwear that suits
every body type and looks glamorous and
stylish.

For more information about the brand

go to www.alinapetra.com
or call +1 424-522-8110

FOR DETAILS OF CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING PLEASE TELEPHONE 020 3728 6260 OR VISIT WWW.HEARSTMAGAZINESDIRECT.CO.UK
 GENERAL INTEREST cosmoclassied
Cuff love.
THE BLACK LABEL COLLECTION
theliberator.co.uk

Welcome to Jennes gifted psychic team of elite readers. We

have gathered a team of highly experienced telephone readers,
who offer a wide range of reading styles. To have a live reading
with one of her team click on www.jennespsychics.com to
see which readers are available right now. Click on live readers
status 24/7 365 days a year

Pre-pay for your psychic telephone reading and get free

bonus minutes on line or by calling our number 24/7 365
days a year

International callers +44 1603 949011

Either call our premium line or pay by credit card with our prepaid service
Calls cost 1.55 per minute plus your providers access charge. Callers must be
18+ and have bill payers permission. Service provided by Digital Select Helpline:
0330 103 999. Live calls recorded. For entertainment purposes only.

Mediums
Call one of our friendly
& gifted mediums now!
0906 615 0454
only 75p per min

DEBIT/ To book an appointment online visit my website then click on

CREDIT CARD
my services page, selecting book a reading where you can choose
0800 from 20, 30, 40 or 60 minutes to a landline or mobile.
075 As I call you, payment is made by PayPal, debit or credit card.
3939
20 mins for 14 You can also text me on WhatsApp to book an appointment.
or 40 mins for 27
18+. 09 = 75p per min + your networks access charge.
0040 726 834 431
Calls recorded. Entertainment purposes only.
SP:PSL. Helpdesk 0207 966 9646.
Alternately you can call my premium line
0913 595 0005 (U.K. Callers Only, By Appointment)
Calls cost 1.55 per minute plus your providers access charge.
Guiding Star Callers must be 18+ and have bill payers permission. Services provided

Tarot
ONLY by Digital Select. Helpline: 0330 103 999. Live calls recorded.
65p
LIVE! PER
MIN

0905 355 0477

CREDIT CARD FREEPHONE
020 7439 5500
www.goodhousekeeping.co.uk/
0800 075 0492
Only 13 for 20 mins or 25 for 40 mins
institute/cookery-school 18+. 09 = 65p per min + your networks access charge.
Calls recorded. Entertainment purposes only.
SP:PSL. Helpdesk 0207 966 9646.

WWW.PSYCHICSWITCHBOARD.CO.UK
Our sincere & gifted readers
LIVE TAROT Live 1-2-1
can guide you 24/7 Only Tarot
65p

65p
per min Readings
0905 355 1292 32.95
per min CREDIT CARD FREEPHONE
0800 075 3335
0905 355 1370 Only 13 for 20 mins or 25 for 40 mins 0905 355 5866 only 65p
per min
18+. 09 = 65p per min + your networks access charge. 18+. 09 = 65p per min + your networks access charge. 18+. 09 = 65p per min + your networks access charge.
Calls recorded. Entertainment purposes only.
SP:PSL. Helpdesk 0207 966 9646.
Calls recorded. Entertainment purposes only.
SP:PSL. Helpdesk 0207 966 9646.
Calls recorded. Entertainment purposes only.
SP:PSL. Helpdesk 0207 966 9646.
extra mins charged at 1.83 per min
FOR DETAILS OF CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING PLEASE TELEPHONE 020 3728 6260 OR VISIT WWW.HEARSTMAGAZINESDIRECT.CO.UK
 You ar
to the m e cordially in
TH iddle of vited
OLI N
AT
nowhere

wedding
is is agreement made by A Woman Going To A Country Wedding,

(hereafter referred to as The Wedding Guest)

1 Des
PRO
PR O
havin
ON
n
nth assembling an outfit,
The Wedding Gu wi e up buying an emergency
5 CHARGE YOUR GLASSES
At dinner, The Wedding Guest will be on a
a distant cousin who only wants to talk about Bre it. She
clutch bag from the Accessorize in the station. She will lose count of how w many times
i her
h wine i gllass is r lled.
then spend the train journey side-eyeing a loud group of Later, she will tak
ke a seriously flattering Polaroid selfi
fie and
lads who wolf-whistle at any woman who squeezes past. feel resentful at having
h to stick it in the gueestbook.
It is only when they also get off at the tiny rural station
that she realises they are going to the same wedding.
6
CARRIAGE
ES AT MIDNIGHT
When the disco ends, The Wedding Guest will

2 FOR RICHER, FOR POORER

The Wedding Guest will check into whichever B&B
was cheapest on the list. She will mentally compose her
do a frantic sweeep of th
he buffet, cramming
three napkin-wraapped slices of cake in her
bag for the jourrney. She will eat this
TripAdvisor review (are those mushrooms growing in the while waiting for the magical
m taxi
loo?) while the owner explains that as this is Little in the pissing raiin, while all the
Arseington Under Nowhere, there is one taxi and it must other guests walk by on n their
be booked six months in advance. The Wedding Guest will way to their rooms in thet
try Uber in case it works here. It will not work here. five-star venue an
nd ask why
w
she isnt staying here to
oo?

I /STUDIO D
3 THE PRE-NUP
After arriving early and smug, The Wedding Guest
ill realise that there are three different churches called 7 HAPPY EV
AFTER
VER

t Marys and this is the wrong one. When she finally The Wedding Gu uest wil
w ll

WORDS LAUREN BRAVO. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES, STOCK FOOD, BEN GOLDS
makes it, she will have 20% phone battery and be forced wake at noon witth hhher
to sit at the back with the crying babies. fake eyelashes s ll on,
realise shes mis d the

4 THE MAT RI
Dee
NIAL MINGLE
e having eaaten two breakfasts in preparation
r e days weird meaal times, The Wedding Guest will
day-after-the-wed
brunch, and end up
medicating her h
ddingg

be ravenous as s on as the ceremony ends and
embark
b k on a ga e of hunt the canap. She will
bond with an her h guest who has smuggled
some bis its under her pashmina, and
they will at them furtively behind
a flower arrrangem
ment.
hangoveer
with a station panini. No
sooner will she h have fouund
a nice empty carrriage thhan
the lads will appeear agaiin.Oh,
hey! shell say as they siit next to
her. What a great coinciidence.

Si d: (The Wedding
W g Guest)
t

186