Ivy League Admission Essays: Successful Undergraduate Essays

Reading and Writing across Disciplines
Summer Assignment
Summer Reading
Nolan, Dr. Nancy. Ivy League Admissions: 130 Successful Undergraduate Essays
1. Read:
Introduction: The College Admissions Process

The Role of Essays in the Admissions Decision
Writing Tips
Common Pitfalls
Strengths to Highlight
2. Successful Admission Essays: Browse through the entire set of sample essays and
closely study a few of the essays that you find interesting, taking particular note
of strategy, style, and content.
3. Practice: Research a college application of your choice on-line and draft college
admissions essay.
4. Submit your essay to our course on turnitin.com
Summer Writing: Submitting Drafts On-line

If you have used turnitin.com in the past and have already created an account:
1. Visit: www.turnitin.com & Log-in

2. Click: Enroll in a class
3. class/section ID: 1539981 enrollment password: 01Benincasa
4. Upload your essay: Assignment #1 (important note below)
If you have not used turnitin.com in the past, create an account:
1. Visit www.turnitin.com
2. Click: New Users
3. Select: student
4. Turnitin class ID: 1539981 / Turnitin enrollment password: 01Benincasa
5. Enter your Northside e-mail account
6. Enter your password / Confirm your password
7. Secret question / Question answer
8. First name / Last Name
9. Click: I agree create profile
10. Upload your essay: Assignment #1 (important note below)
Note: When saving your drafts, always name your file according to the following
protocol: Number of Assignment + Last Name (Example: 01Benincasa)
Why? Well, if you all name your file College Essay, my computer will want to overwrite
the files when I download and unzip the batch. And that makes me angry. And you
wouldnt like me when Im angry
Enjoy your summer!

Ivy League Admission:
130 Successful Undergraduate Essays
Nancy L. Nolan, Ph.D.
First Edition
Magnificent Milestones, Inc., Florida

Ivy League Admission:
130 Successful Undergraduate Essays

Table of Contents
Introduction: The College Admission Process
The Role of Essays in the Admissions Decision

Writing Tips
Common Pitfalls
Successful Admission Essays:
Discuss a Musical or Artistic Passion

Discuss a Current Event of Particular Significance To You
Discuss an Illness or Disability
Write Page 217 of Your Autobiography
What You Wish You Had Been Asked
Discuss an Athletic Achievement
Candidates Assess Their Unique Identities
Discuss an International Travel Experience
Discuss a Meaningful or Inspirational Quotation
Addendum to Explain Bad Grades
Addendum to Explain a Low SAT Score
Your Most Notable Achievements
Discuss Your Favorite Book or Character
A Change You Will Make in Your Community

How You Will Contribute To Campus Diversity
Discuss Your Fit for our School
Your Favorite Extracurricular Activities
What Your Professors Will Say About You
Discuss Your Leadership Experience
Commitment to Political Activism
Your Awards and Their Significance To You
Discuss a Challenge You Overcame
Discuss a First / Defining Experience
Discuss your Childhood & Personality
Discuss Your Career Goals
Your Favorite Role Model / Influential Person
Introduction: The College Admission Process
For most students, few processes are as daunting as the college admission process. Competition is fierce
at top universities, particularly in the prestigious Ivy League programs. Candidates must generally pass two
levels of screening to be offered a seat in the class:
1. The Numbers. Your GPA and SAT scores must exceed the minimum cutoff level that the school has
imposed. Selectivity varies greatly among programs, which means that scores that are considered "great" at
one school may not be competitive at another. As a general rule, a successful candidate at a state school
has a minimum GPA of 3.2 to 3.5, and a minimum GMAT score of 600 to 650. At highly competitive
programs, the cutoffs are as high as 3.75 and 700 for the GPA and SAT, respectively. Candidates whose
"numbers" fall below these levels can still gain admission in special circumstances, but their odds of success
are greatly diminished.
2. Personal Strengths. Candidates whose "numbers" meet the school's expectations are further evaluated
for their personal fit for business school. In the pre-interview stage, this "fit" is assessed from the applicant's
essays and reference letters. Without exception, these documents must highlight the skills and traits that top
schools covet, including honor, maturity, a solid work ethic and exemplary communication skills.
A great essay brings your "numbers" to life and provides a creative description of your performance and
potential. It also provides critical information about your personality, ethics and integrity that isn't captured
anywhere elsewhere in the application. The BEST essays are short, specific and insightful. They are written
by candidates who know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it.
Here is what the committee hopes to learn from your admission essays:
a. Your specific qualifications, including the depth of your academic and professional experiences
b. Your unique traits that aren't covered anywhere else in the application
c. Your demonstrated commitment to pursuing a degree
d. How you compare to other candidates with similar aspirations
How Personal Statements are Used in the Admissions Process
The most typical question we are asked about personal statements is how they are used in the admissions
process. As a general rule, they supplement the primary admissions criteria, which are your GPA and SAT
score. In highly competitive programs, the applicant pool can quickly be sorted into three categories:
a. candidates with excellent grades and test scores: good chance of admission
b. candidates who are borderline cases: application is competitive, but not outstanding
c. candidates with low grades and disappointing test scores: poor chance of admission
Unfortunately, if you fall into category c, even a great personal statement may not save you from rejection.
In a highly competitive applicant pool, schools usually screen out lesser qualified applicants by imposing a
minimum "cutoff" for GPA and test scores. Although an essay can "explain" a disappointing academic
performance, it usually cannot compensate for it. There are limits to how much leeway we can give to a
candidate who does not present a solid track record of success.
In contrast, essays from candidates in category a are usually disaster checks. These applicants have
exceptional grades, test scores and impressive letters of recommendation. On paper, they are everything
we are looking for. Their personal statements must:
a. explain their motivation and goals

b. document their character, integrity and work ethic
For candidates in category a (excellent grades and test scores), bad or mediocre essays can be extremely
harmful. In a highly competitive applicant pool, each piece of the admissions puzzle (GPA, SAT score,
essays, references) must "fit" together in a cohesive manner to show us who you are and what you have to
offer. If your essay is poorly written, or reveals a lack of focus and dedication, the committee will be less
likely to take a chance on you.
Surprisingly, nearly 70% of the applicant pool falls into category b, or borderline. These candidates have
competitive grades and test scores, but are otherwise not distinguishable from others with similar numbers.
Their acceptance or rejection often hinges on an exceptional intrinsic quality that captures our interest and
makes a positive impression. In some cases, this can be their commitment to family, their dedication to
community service or their ability to overcome an obstacle. A persuasive essay that discusses a candidate's
passion (and how (s)he plans to use that skill in the future) can make or break his/her application; it
provides the final piece of the "puzzle" that the committee needs to become excited about the applicant.
Writing Tips
In a typical day, an admissions officer will read between 25 and 50 essays from candidates around the world.
What makes a positive impression? Passion. Sincerity. Insight about yourself and the world around you.
From our experience, a great essay can take any number of forms; since no two candidates are alike, their
essays won't be, either. The only "magic formula" is honesty; you must have the courage to reveal your true
personality, whatever that may be. Show us who you are and what you will bring to our program. Show us
the contribution that only you can make.
We surveyed thirty admission officers on what they expect to see in business school essays. Here's what
works:
1. Answer the question that was asked. Tell us why you want to attend our school and why you believe
you will succeed. Show us that you have the maturity and insight to set and achieve realistic goals.
2. Write naturally, but concisely. Use simple sentence structure and your normal everyday vocabulary.
Don't waste time on fancy introductions; get to the point quickly and reinforce it with specific examples.
3. Use excellent grammar and punctuation. Use logical paragraph breaks to separate your thoughts and
to make the essay easier to read. Proofread your work carefully before sending it in. Don't let simple
carelessness ruin your chances.
4. Show your real personality (let us get to know you). Too many essays are long, boring theoretical
pieces about politics, the economy or complex business issues. No matter how well-written or researched,
they don't tell us a darn thing about the candidate. Anyone can write a rational, detached paper, but that's
not what we are looking for. We want to get to know you and the unique contribution you will make to our
school.
5. Personalize your essay as much as possible. Write about your own unique, funny, interesting
experiences. Provide details to add color. Adopt a relaxed, conversational style.
6. Use humor only if it works. Few people can write humorous prose or recount funny experiences
effectively. If you have this gift, by all means use it. Before sending us a "funny" essay, though, have several
different people read your material to make sure it comes across well on paper. Avoid anything off-color or
mean-spirited.
7. Convey a positive message (avoid cynicism). Many applicants choose to discuss a misfortune they
have experienced and how it shaped their personality. Be very careful of your tone if you decide to write
about a hard-luck story. Avoid the "victimization" perspective and focus on how you overcame the situation.
Show us how the experience helped you to demonstrate your stamina, perseverance and intelligence. If
written well, these essays show us that you can succeed in the face of terrible obstacles. If written badly, you
may sound plaintive, self-righteous and bitter.
8. Use the active voice. Nothing is more tedious than trying to read an essay written in the cold, detached
passive voice. While popular with scientists who publish in technical journals, it is pretentious and verbose in
everyday writing. Keep your verbs simple and active. What's the difference?
Active Voice: The cow jumped over the moon.

Passive Voice: The moon was jumped over by the cow.
Yes, it sounds that silly when you use it, too!
9. Explain events whenever appropriate. Many of your accomplishments are of interest to the committee
because of why you tackled them, what you thought about them and what you learned. Tell us the reasoning
behind your decision and how your life changed as a result of the experience.
10. Be specific and focused. Rather than listing several items or events, give a full description of just one.
The more details you include, the more personal your essay will be.
11. Proofread several times and get feedback from valued sources. Explain to them what you hope to
convey in your writing and ask whether you met your objectives. The true test of your writing isn't what you
intended to say, but what the reader actually understands.
12. Revise and polish until it is perfect. Give yourself enough time to do the statement well. Successful
applicants usually invest several hours deciding the correct approach, constructing an outline and writing a
first draft. You may have to write and revise multiple drafts before you are satisfied with your essay.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
1. Don't let anyone else tell you what to write. Well-meaning parents and advisors often interfere in the
writing process, which tends to sabotage the candidate's chances. Use your own best judgment in choosing
a topic and writing your essay. Don't let anyone else influence you. We read thousands of essays each year,
and have developed a keen eye for authenticity.
2. Don't oversell yourself or try too hard. Many candidates manage to squeeze every accomplishment
they've ever had into a single one-page essay. Others explain emphatically how much they "really, really"
want to attend our school. Don't take such a desperate approach; just be yourself.
3. Don't rehash information that can be found elsewhere in the application. We already know your
GPA, SAT scores, academic awards and honors. Use your limited essay space to discuss experiences that
aren't revealed anywhere else. Consider your essay to be an informal interview, your exclusive "one-on-one"
time with the committee. Show us why we should accept you into our academic community.
4. Don't write a scholarly or technical paper. The essay is your opportunity to demonstrate your non-
academic strengths, particularly your personality. Don't waste the opportunity to let us get to know the real
you.
5. Resist the urge to write a manipulative or argumentative essay on a controversial issue. Be

original. Each year, we receive hundreds of essays that discuss the horrors of nuclear proliferation and the
dangers of global warming. Sadly, they don't tell us anything we don't already know. If you choose to discuss
a meaningful issue, do so in the context of your demonstrated commitment to change it, either through your
career or volunteer work. Don't confuse passive idealism (or future intentions) with productive action. A
demonstrated commitment to a cause is worth writing about; passive idealism is not.
6. Don't try to explain blemishes on your record. With rare exceptions, it is impossible to explain poor
grades and test scores without sounding irresponsible or defensive. Neither will enhance your admissions
chances. If you have a compelling excuse for an academic disappointment, place it in a separate addendum
to your file, rather than in the body of an essay or personal statement.
7. Don't use large, pretentious words. Use the simplest possible language to explain your meaning
precisely. Using three-dollar words to impress the committee usually backfires, as it comes across as
presumptuous and arrogant.
8. Don't be boring and safe; tell a real story! A fresh and well-written essay will enhance your credentials
and aid your application effort.
9. Don't lie or exaggerate. Applicants seldom realize how easy it is to detect lies and half-truths in
admissions essays. Don't pretend to be someone you are not. After reading your file, committee members
have an excellent "feel" for your character and can tell when a reported event or achievement isn't consistent
with the rest of your history. Lying is a fatal mistake. A single misrepresentation on your application will lead
us to doubt all of your other assertions.
10. Don't be gimmicky. Avoid using definitions to begin your essay. This crutch was extremely popular in
the late 90's, but is now synonymous with sloppy writing. Avoid using cute or "meaningful" quotations, unless
they perfectly fit the character and tone of your essay. Quotations are terrific if they are seldom-quoted and
deeply relevant to your chosen topic. All too often, though, their usage is cliche and the resulting essay is
unimaginative.
11. Don't play games with the word limit. Don't use a miniscule type size or invisible border to shrink an
essay to the stipulated length. Except in extreme circumstances, your finished essay should adhere to the
maximum word limit. In many cases, less is more. Convey your points quickly and efficiently; don't feel
obligated to "fill" extra space.
Your essays MUST emphasize the intrinsic traits that the committee seeks in the admissions process. Due
to the high ethical standards and level of critical thinking that are expected at top schools, your character and
motivation will be highly scrutinized by the selection committee. Use the essay set to sell your whole self, not
just the individual pieces that you think the school wants to see.
Admissions officers seek the following traits in MBA applicants:
motivation maturity enthusiasm honesty

independence creativity strong ethics humor
confidence curiosity perseverance communication
To whatever extent possible, you should build your essays around the achievements and experiences that
have enabled you to cultivate and display these strengths. This is your only chance to sell yourself; use it
for everything that it's worth.
The essays of successful applicants will probably surprise you. They are seldom academic in nature, and
may seem risky to candidates who feel compelled to assume a false (or misleading) persona for the
committee's benefit. That's why studying the essays is so valuable. They reveal the heart and soul of each
writer and demonstrate what (s)he would add to the business school class.
These candidates were accepted because they caught the eye (and captured the heart) of a receptive
admissions officer. They have accomplished what you are trying to do. Before you put pen to paper to write
your own essays, read on!
Successful College Admission Essays
The following collection of essays offers five different responses to 26 different business school application
questions. Collectively, they show the many different ways that candidates have presented their
achievements and goals in a creative (and effective) manner. Please use the essays as guidance and
inspiration for your own original writing.
ESSAY 1: Discuss an Artistic or Musical Talent
This student was accepted at Brown University and Vassar College.
After several years of "enrichment overdose," my parents decided to limit my extracurricular activities to just
two or three of my favorite things. When they asked me to choose my activities, they were nearly floored by
my decision. Rather than sweat on the softball field or kick my way through karate class, I chose the relative
tranquility of viola lessons.
Ironically, my appreciation for the viola was neither automatic nor intense. Between the ages of six and ten, I
hated my Thursday night lessons. Each week, I rushed home from school to cram in my half-hearted
practice, followed by a two-hour lesson and an exhausting late-night ride home. At the time, I silently cursed
elderly Mrs. Hancock, who made me repeat the same difficult chords over and over. On my worst days, I
questioned whether I would EVER get a song right. Yet, when I re-examine my childhood, I can
acknowledge that mastering the viola became the most rewarding part of my life.
My victories were small and subtle, as I gradually mastered my instrument. Each new step caused a
dramatic leap in my self-esteem, as Mrs. Hancock jovially celebrated my skill. Now, I view the viola as a rare
oasis in my otherwise insane schedule. What better way to relax in the middle of a chaotic day? Thanks to
my viola, I can bomb a trig test, and be in heaven ten minutes later. Completely relaxed, I rock back and
forth to the soothing rhythm, as my arms work in harmony to create a vibrating melody. With my eyes
closed, I marvel at my ability to make time stand still, as I become immersed in the wonderful world of music.
Although I have played other instruments, including the cello and the piano, the viola will always be my
favorite. Whether blustering or sweet, good viola playing offers deep, rich tones and an amazingly broad
range of expression. As I perfect my skills, I have become enamored by the creative portion of making
music, as exemplified by masters like Pablo Casals and Yo-Yo Ma. Regardless of my mood, their brilliant
music can make me forget the problems of my day and lose myself in the ebullience of the piece. Whether I
listen to the viola or play it myself, I can rejoice in the beauty that the elegant instrument represents.
Three days before my sixteenth birthday, Mrs. Hancock died unexpectedly, without knowing the influence
she had on my life. More than anything else, I wish that she could hear me play the viola in my school band,
which is where I feel I am most alive. Whenever I asked for direction on a particularly complicated piece, her
advice was always the same. "Play from the heart." Thanks to her, I always do.
This student was accepted at the University of Pennsylvania, Northwestern University and the University of
Chicago.
The tools of my first business venture were quite simple: hair curlers, a few nail files, a detailed price list,
and of course, my faithful calculator. To satisfy my advertising needs, I also made a big sign with silver
glitter that read "Lucy's Coiffure." At age seven, my desire to make a few dollars to buy new toys inspired me
to set up a beauty parlor in my family's apartment. As I watched my mom undergo her daily beauty ritual, I
realized that there was a need to provide common beauty services to members of my family. My parents
and older sister were pleasantly surprised that I would think of such an idea, but they were not terribly
encouraging. Despite my age and lack of experience, I was determined to earn my own pocket money from
my glamorous business attempt.
Unfortunately, because of my young age, I was not allowed to let any strangers into our apartment. This
restriction limited my potential client base to my immediate family and friends, which was the death knell to a
venture that thrived on volume. Without the ability to market the business, I eventually closed the shop and
took down my sign. Yet, even today, I do not view the experience as a failure. My early days as a home-
educated "beautician" were excellent preparation for my work as a makeup artist for our school's drama club,
the Warren High School Players.
Since freshman year, I have worked on the makeup team for all eight productions, including the particularly
challenging Lion King. Fortunately, from my early experiences with hair and makeup, I easily grasped the
basics of applying stage makeup, including the use of wigs and prosthetics. The Lion King, however,
presented special challenges. To learn how to apply the animal theatrical makeup, I attended a two-day
workshop in New York City that was taught by renowned makeup artist Shirley Carter. With Ms. Carter's
help, I learned how to transform our teenage lead into a "wild beast" of Simba's magnitude. By the final
performance, I had reduced my application time to less than two hours, which rivals that of professional
makeup artists.
Although my childhood coiffure shop did not succeed, it was my first attempt to make a living in a creative
venture. Since then, I remain enthralled by the ability of a makeup artist to transform an ordinary person into
someone completely different. Through my work on with the Warren High School Players, I have come a
step closer to earning my living as a makeup artist. Who knows? Maybe someday, I will compete against
for Shirley Carter for an Academy Award!
This student was accepted at Syracuse University, Johns-Hopkins University and Carnegie Mellon
University.
Struck with sudden panic, I hastily flipped through my sheet music before starting to play. For a split second,
I wondered what I was doing at the Chicago Convention Hall. Sure, I was a good violinist, but did I really
have a chance to make the National High School Orchestra? What if I completely bombed? Or dropped my
bow? Could I ever show my face again at St. Phillips Academy?
Fortunately, the tight audition schedule left me little time to ponder the unthinkable. I had just twenty minutes
until my audition, which gave me just one chance to run through the entire passage. When my time finally
came, I entered with room with a shy smile, hoping to stifle the butterflies in my stomach. After making polite
introductions, the judges told me which sections to perform and sat in stony silence. As my hands sweated
and my mind tried to focus, I silently prayed that I wouldn't make a complete fool of myself.
That's the beauty of being a musician. The stage fright, complete with butterflies, that paralyzed me for that
split second eventually catapulted me to deliver one of the best performances of my young career. I felt
giddy when left the audition room; although the immense anxiety over the audition had waned, the
adrenaline still rushed through my body. I wanted to yell and laugh and jump around and be completely silly,
for my long-awaited evaluation was over.
A few hours later, when the results were posted, I experienced the same nervous fluttering in my stomach.
As I searched the violin list for my name, I was delighted to see it in a respectable position. Third seat,
which was amazingly good out of twenty.
The convention was a wonderful experience, both for the training I received and for the opportunity to make
friends with other talented musicians. As we adapted to the group's sound, we began to play without
reserve, which made our rehearsals magical. I often gazed around the large room, admiring the skill of my
talented peers. Amidst such formidable talent, the sky was our limit. During the week, we blossomed under
the conductor's suggestions, using our pre-developed techniques to their fullest.
Each time the orchestra played, my emotions soared, which brought goose-bumps to my skin and a joyful
feeling to my soul. Through a rare and powerful synergy, the power of the group managed to meld the talent
and strength of each individual into a chorus of heavenly sound. I was honored beyond belief to be part of
such a miracle. Within a single week, we were transformed from shy strangers into friends who were bonded
by the glory of music.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Cornell University and Bowdoin College .
Since early childhood, I have enjoyed expressing my creativity through the visual arts. In junior high school,
I explored my love of black and white photography by taking weekend classes at the Dade County Art
Institute. Starting from scratch, I learned how to master my camera as the miraculous tool that it is. By
adjusting a few settings and properly coordinating my subject and light source, I spent the summer of 2002
capturing on film the most wondrous moments of nature. For my work in this medium, I received the first
place award in the 2003 Dade County Art Show and had my photographs published in Miami Monthly
magazine.
In the summer of 2003, I decided to master glass etching, which required the use of intimidating power tools.
Moving past my initial trepidation, I learned to sandblast to etch the glass, concentrating on lines and
balance in my works. Moreover, by arranging several glass panes into a sculpture, I moved my study into
three dimensions, winning the 2004 first place Dade County Art Show award.
Currently, I am working on canvas, using oil and acrylic in a Mondrian style, which is also based on lines and
balance. The most delightful aspect of painting is the use of color, which adds several rich dimensions to my
creative spectrum. For any given painting, just a tiny adjustment in a tint or shade can make the difference
between boldness or subtlety, garishness or simplicity. Eventually, in my college studio work, I hope to
augment my skills in these media with those in sculpture to create my own unique style of artistic expression.
This student was accepted at Princeton University and Dartmouth University.
As I skim over the waves in my tiny sailboat, I feel like a leaf being blown across a pond. With one hand on
the tiller and the other on the mainsheet, I assume the same position as when I play my bass guitar.
Comparisons between the two mesh together in my mind as I realize the similarities between my two favorite
activities. Although superficially dissimilar, practicing the base and sailing my boat require the same
diligence, coordination and skills.
To guide my sailboat, I must accept the elements as they present themselves to me. Given the wind and
wave conditions, I manipulate my boat to achieve maximum harmony between the vessel and its immediate
environment. I imagine the sailboat as an extension of my body and plunge, accelerate, and rock with the
sea and wind, just as the boat does. My musical technique is equally critical. Proper form allows me to
combine and manipulate twelve different notes in the musical alphabet to create sounds to suit nearly every
possible mood. Whether playing rock or jazz, hillbilly or classic, the technique is the same; my body must
encompass the bass to attain the pure harmony between my expression and the notes on the instrument.
As I meticulously pluck, pull, and slide my fingers on the strings, I experiment with countless different
combinations. Just like sailors, musicians must practice their technique to reach perfection, either in the
form of the fastest sailboat or the gentlest melody. Because the skills are rooted in the same essence, I
conclude that I must draw upon the same essence to sail and play music. Thus, in my heart, body and soul,
seemingly unrelated experiences converge.
ESSAY 1: Discuss a Current Event That Has Personal Meaning For You
This student was accepted at Brown University, Georgetown University and Bowdoin College.
Until a year ago, I'd never been politically active, although I'd spent most of my life unhappy with the
status quo. As I sat in my government class each day, I worried about the future of the US under the Bush
administration. Encouraged by my teacher, I wrote the occasional letter to the editor, but I never imagined
I'd ever be more involved in political affairs.
Everything changed when I signed a petition by Students Promoting Peace to avert the war in Iraq.
Shortly thereafter, the national chapter of the group contacted me via email and asked me to participate in a
delegation to present the petition's state signatures to Senator John Kerry's office in Massachusetts.
Although the process was new to me, I recruited more than 85 other students to help. In the end, we
solicited more than 7,000 signatures from our fellow Massachusetts citizens who were also against the war.
The local media covered our historic walk into Senator Kerry's office, where we presented him with our
petition.
I walked out of his office that day with an amazing feeling of empowerment. By championing my
cause, I had tapped into talents and capabilities I didn't know I had. I realized in a split second that my work
as an advocate had just begun. Later that day, I had lunch with other student activists who were
coordinating Students Promoting Peace's antiwar efforts in Rhode Island. How could I not stay involved?
In subsequent months, I attended two protests in Washington, DC, helped to organize peace rallies
in my hometown, and joined with another Students Promoting Peace delegation to protest the war at our
congressional representative's office. For each event, I used my graphic design skills to create posters,
flyers, banners, and handouts for the thousands of supporters who attended. Local newspaper, TV and
radio media sought me out for interviews, making me an unofficial spokesperson for the cause. One of my
newspaper editorials even made it onto the www.alternet.org web site.
Compared to our troops, who risk their lives ever day to fight the war in Iraq, my efforts as a
protestor many seem quite minimal. Yet my work as a peace advocate is my way of giving back to my
country in ways I never dreamed possible. Although I expect no recognition for my efforts, I have been
brought miraculously closer to people who are willing to fight for what they believe is right. My connections
to them have brought meaning to my life and helped to clarify my goals and responsibilities as a citizen. I
may not have changed the world, but I've made the important first step; I changed myself.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Duke University, Temple University and Carnegie Mellon
University.
Like many students, I was terribly shaken by the terrorist attacks of 9/11. In my case, they came during a
particularly stressful time when I was feeling lost and vulnerable. Many of my friends sought refuge in
alcohol, which provided a temporary respite from their grief and pain. Others became consumed with
thoughts of revenge, either through a direct attack on Osama bin Laden, or through the eventual war with
Iraq. I, on the other hand, simply felt paralyzed by the senseless destruction of everything that I held dear. I
couldn't imagine how I could possibly survive with the terrible pain in my heart.
In my darkest moment, I knelt on the floor of my room and considered the question of my faith. In my first
sixteen years of life, I had not given much thought to my religion or what I believed. However, a long talk with
the pastor from our church had produced storms within me that needed answers to calm them. All at once, I
knew that I deeply wanted to live my life pleasing and honoring God, and the clarity of that moment made me
weep. Rising from my knees and wiping the tears off my face, I realized that I had changed in only a few
moments. My decision to become a Christian was a momentous turning point in my life, the effects of which
had a permanent impact on my mind and my outlook on life.
Embracing God and the Christian faith ignited an intellectual fire in me that brought with it an unquenchable
thirst for knowledge. I voraciously read every book on theology I could find and gradually began to include
books on a multitude of related subjects, ranging from philosophy and history to science and literature. I felt
deeply inspired by Saint Augustine who saw all truth as Gods truth. I wanted to learn about the world
around me and see my relation to it from a Christian world view. I also decided early on to become a teacher
and therefore explored a variety of subjects so that I could better engage the minds of my future students.
With the knowledge that I gained from my readings, I could present diverse ideas and various points of view
and incorporate them into my lessons.
Emotionally, my discovery of God created in me a new attitude towards others. The Bible teaches that all
individuals are created in the image of God and are thereby worthy of dignity and respect. From this lesson, I
developed a feeling of responsibility for those who suffer and need help from others. Acting upon this, I
began to visit senior citizens at one of the retirement communities in my city. Each Saturday, I spend time
talking to them and helping them perform their daily functions. My visits always encourage them and assure
them that they have not been forgotten. I have also started to volunteer at my church, where I serve as a
youth leader and an assistant teacher to the Hispanic pastor. As a leader, I feel a deep sense of satisfaction
as I see the children develop good moral characters.
Ever since that first moment of understanding, my faith in God has served as my driving force to reach my
goals. It has armed me with a clear vision of who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. Because of
this inner determination, I have managed to attain top grades while working a part-time job and devoting time
to my church and community. My beliefs have taught me to view every challenge as an opportunity to grow
as an individual and to inspire my family and friends with the strengths that my faith gives me. How we live
reveals the deepest convictions about our lives, and I now live my life as an offering of my convictions. As
for the terrorists, I am leaving their fate in God's hands, who will eventually deliver the ultimate judgment.
This student was accepted at Cornell University, Johns-Hopkins University and Duke University.
Three years ago, a malignant brain tumor destroyed my mother's pituitary gland. As recently as 1990, her
cancer would have been a death sentence, but, thanks to the amazing breakthroughs in medical research,
my mother is still here with us. Twice a day, she takes a genetically engineered growth hormone to replace
the secretions that her body can no longer produce naturally. This miraculous technology has given back to
her a portion of what she lost to the tumor.
One of the biggest recent breakthroughs in genetics has been the use of bacteria to genetically engineer
drugs such as insulin and growth hormone. For patients like my mother, they have literally made the
difference between life and death. Current research suggests that growth hormone might also be an
effective treatment for ailments as diverse as osteoporosis, severe burns and infertility. As a witness to its
benefits, I am a staunch supporter of its research and development. Yet, to no one's surprise, there is a
dark side to its availability and use.
Although many people could benefit from growth hormone, it can also be abused for athletic purposes.
Football great Lyle Alzado appeared on national television appealing to the public to refrain from misusing
the growth hormone, which he felt was responsible for his brain cancer. He urged Congress to limit the
availability of the drug to ensure that it does more good than harm. He also asked the government to stop
funding all types of related genetic research.
I respectfully disagree. Research in genetics is also helping us to locate genes which are linked to diseases
such as Cystic Fibrosis, Sickle Cell Anemia and Huntington's disease. The knowledge of these genes may
lead to better treatments and maybe even a cure. I cannot imagine anyone finding fault with important
discoveries that can save lives. The potential benefits to society far outweigh the potential for abuse.
Throughout the twentieth century, nearly every aspect of modern medicine has reaped the rewards of
technological advancements, which are growing at an exponential rate. Every door we open leads to more
doors, which may contain secrets as well as revelations. Granted, with every gain comes the possibility of
abuse, yet does this justify ending an entire research program? The majority of the population can only
imagine the excitement of opening one of these doors for the first time ever. They know in their hearts that it
could be their loved one who benefits from the resulting technology. In my mind, the answer is not in
stopping the research, but in properly regulating it to ensure its optimal implementation. The potential
benefits to people like my mother are too large to dismiss.
This student was accepted at Princeton University and Georgetown University.
On September 13, 2001, I struggled with a miserable combination of shock and numbness after the
attack on the World Trade Center. My pain for the victims was exacerbated by the sad realization that the
United States was going to seek revenge for the terrorist attacks. Regardless of how or where we
responded, thousands of additional innocent people, who had nothing to do with the attack, would lose their
lives. The ramifications of this type of retribution were unthinkable.
I desperately wanted to stop the cycle of violence. At first, I considered writing to President Bush to
urge him to use restraint in response to the attacks. Upon further thought, I realized that my letter would
never make it through the bureaucracy at the White House. Still, I sat down at my computer and began to
type the letter. In a moment of inspiration, the words flowed easily. An hour or so later, I mailed the letter to
the White House, and as an afterthought, I also emailed it to a few friends.
The response to my email was overwhelming; my friends and family members forwarded it to
almost two hundred people around the world. Within a week, I began getting positive letters from kindred
souls in Europe, Africa and Asia. Clearly, my message of peace had struck a chord. I was astonished and
gratified by the thoughtful responses to my letter.
A woman from China named Alana Kim asked if I would be willing to publish my letter as an ad in a
major US newspaper. I agreed. Within a day of receiving my approval, she had organized a group of like-
minded people called the Peace Initiative to solicit donations to have my letter published in USA Today.
When I learned that full-page ads can cost more than $200,000, I doubted that we would succeed, but Alana
was determined to meet the challenge.
The Peace Initiative gained momentum with help from organizers in Japan, China, Great Britain,
Germany, Brazil and the United States. Soon, we had a website and were in communication with Global
Veterans for Peace, who were also counseling caution in our foreign policy. To my delight, my letter
was published as a full-page ad in the October 12, 2001, edition of USA Today.
The public response was immediate and overwhelming. The principal of my school asked me to
discuss my letter in front of the entire School Board. Calls came in from radio stations, newspapers and TV
stations for interviews, giving me more attention than I ever dreamed possible. Since then, Alana and her
associates have moved forward with the Peace Initiative, and I am now an honorary member of Global
Veterans for Peace. We continue to work for a peaceful world where all people are safe and have the basic
necessities of life.
This student was accepted at Harvard University and Yale University.
According to Greek philosophy, "In argument, truth is born." Although the underlying emotions of a debate
can confuse the issue, a good argument usually results in both sides improving their insight on the subject.
Even if one party cannot be shaken by the other, he has been forced to organize and analyze his views,
which leaves him with a clearer understanding of his own ideals. Furthermore, his opponent's arguments
may help him appreciate alternative views and differences.
For these reasons, I enjoy debating issues that are important to me, such as the Middle East peace process.
Although it has always been important to the American community, particularly Jewish Americans, the
assassination of Israel Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin has intensified the underlying debate. At my private
Jewish school, I often discuss this topic with my peers. To no one's surprise, I have a minority viewpoint.
Although nearly all of my peers support the peace process, I adhere to the views of the Likud (opposition)
party, which opposes the peace process.
The issue is complicated by several emotional stigmas that transform the debate from an objective
discussion to a passionate argument. The foremost of these stigmas is the accusation that my opposition to
the peace process promotes war and violence. It does not. My position does not imply opposition of peace,
simply the disapproval of certain tactics that Yitzhak Rabin has used to carry out the peace process.
Another issue is whether American Jews who disagree with the peace process have the right to influence
Israeli policy. "Your children won't die in our wars. What right do you have to oppose peace?" Sadly, this
argument doesn't differentiate between belief and action. While it is true that American Jews have no right to
influence Israeli policy, that does not preclude us from having ideas of what that policy should be.
Finally, the assassination of Yitzhak Rabin has introduced yet another dimension into this debate. In its
aftermath, opposing the peace process is sometimes identified with condoning the assassination itself. Such
an identification of the man and his beliefs involves grave dangers, such as rashly implementing his ideas in
a flurry of reactive compassion.
The commonality of these stigmas is that they forsake logical and objective debate, opting instead for
emotions, generalizations and accusations. Although those debates have forced me to consider what I think
is moral and just, they have also demonstrated the necessity of objectivity in the discussions, because
thousands of lives are at stake. When passions and hatred take over a debate, we must remind ourselves
what the discussion is ultimately about.
ESSAY 1: Discuss an Illness or Disability

This student was accepted at Harvard University, the University of Chicago and Vassar College.
As an athlete, my focus has always been on the optimization of health, rather than on injury or
illness. As I gained mastery in specific sports, such as skiing and horseback riding, I felt strangely immune
to any type of physical trauma. Nevertheless, I following my skiing instructor's advice to complete a First Aid
and CPR program that was offered by our local YMCA. After all, he admonished, you never know when you
might be asked to save a life.
A few months later, I was horseback riding with my sister, who is also trained in First Aid, when a
screaming man came running up the bridle trail. An elderly Parkinson's patient had fallen off a bridge, and
was in need of immediate aid. Although I had always assumed that my first experience with CPR would be
sterile, the conditions on the bridle path were significantly less than optimal. Grabbing my riding gloves in
lieu of a mask and rubber gloves, I knew that I would not be protected from blood-borne viruses. For a split
second, I wondered if I should proceed, but my heart told me that I had no choice. If my sister and I didn't try
to save this man, who would?
The situation was as messy as it was real, and none of my training had quite prepared me for the
burst of adrenaline that surged through my body. Seemingly out of nowhere, I was consumed by a single-
minded determination to restore life to a person I had never even known. Unfortunately, the afternoon did
not end as we would have hoped; we were unable to resuscitate the eighty-year-old man. But the energy
and spirit of teamwork encompassing those of us who labored to reclaim the man's life as we waited for the
ambulance were too strong to possibly ignore.
For the first moment in my life, I came to grips with the reality of death, which will come to claim all
of us at the "appropriate" time. On that day, unfortunately, Mr. Benjamin Davis was called home, despite my
efforts to keep his body and spirit on earth. Although I couldn't save Mr. Davis, I was incredibly proud to
have tried. Thanks to my First Aid and CPR training, I have the skills to prevent or delay the work of the grim
reaper, if a higher power so allows. Although I do not "hope" to ever be in a similar situation, if fate places
me there, I will not hesitate to do whatever is necessary to save a life.
This student was accepted at Columbia University and Temple University.
Undoubtedly, the most influential people in my life have been my mother and father. Throughout my
childhood, they have always encouraged me in all my endeavors, sitting front row and center at every
sporting event, spelling bee and musical concert. My parents, in conjunction with twelve years of Bible
school, have also instilled in me a sound belief in a loving God, which guides my thoughts and actions. It is
therefore no surprise that the news of my mother's cancer greatly altered my entire outlook on life. In my
greatest hour of need, where was God?
My mother had been aware of her condition in the spring of my junior year, but she withheld the news to
avoid distracting me from my studies. Instead, she waited until the end of her radiation treatments. After her
final session, she brought me into her room, sat me down on her oversized bed and began to tell her story.
In my initial state of numbness, I did not weep or flinch. On the outside, I was as cool as a brisk winter day,
yet on the inside, something basic and primitive had changed. From that moment on, I put aside my own
concerns and vowed to do whatever was necessary to make my mother proud of me.
In a single heartbeat, all of my troubles seemed to pale in comparison to my mother's dilemma. I

immediately decided to be less of a drama queen whenever something didn't go my way. When I tore a
ligament in my knee in a soccer game, my initial impulse was to wallow in anguish and sulk on the sidelines.
Instead, I remembered what my mother always said whenever I ever disappointed: "If this is the worst thing
that ever happens to you, I'll be very happy, and you'll be very lucky." Instantly, my mood improved and I was
able to put the event into perspective. Sure, we lost the game and my injured knee kept me off the field for
two months, but it wasn't cancer. I could deal with it.
Likewise, when I lost the lead in Romeo & Juliet to Carrie Madison, despite giving a great audition, I
accepted the understudy role with unprecedented grace. Sure, it was a disappointment, but I was still in the
show. In fact, when Carrie got strep throat a week before our debut, I got to play the leading role for two
matinee performances. I made my mother proud, not just for giving a great performance, but by being a
team player throughout the entire process, even when I didn't think I was going to appear onstage.
Over the past eighteen months, I have matured tremendously as I have watched my mother wrestle with
breast cancer. Part of my motivation was to be strong for my parents, but the other part was simply to make
peace with whatever God's plan for us might be. Fortunately, my mother went into remission and my darkest
fears did not materialize. Nevertheless, her strength and courage will remain a constant source of
inspiration to me. By watching her cheat death and retain her faith in God, I have come to share her
confidence that we will greet the future with a shared sense of hope and optimism.
This student was accepted at Georgetown University, Vanderbilt University and Carnegie Mellon University.
As our car swerved to the left, the sudden impact forced me out of the back seat of our minivan. Everything
became still as I heard the uneasy voice of my Aunt Alice in the driver's seat. "Mary, Mary, are you OK?" As
she called out to my mother, my aunt became frantic and started to cry, muttering vague obscenities that I
did not understand. All I knew was that my mother was not answering her cries. As I lay in a crumpled heap
next to my aunt, I tried to somehow make sense of what was happening to us.
Just six years old, the only thing I knew for sure was that something was terribly wrong. Frozen in fear, I did
not cry or call out to my mother. I simply sat, listening intently for her voice, watching my aunt plead
desperately for my mother to wake up. Thankfully, a short while later, an ambulance arrived. After a
paramedic helped me out of the van, I finally saw my mother tilt her head and groan softly. Her eyes were
shut, but the strange contortion of her face told me that she was in immense pain.
My mother received a concussion in the accident and also broke her pelvis, which left her unable to care for
me for several months. At first, seeing my mother so helpless was as distressing as the moment of the
accident. During the next several months, I discovered that helping around the house was a great way to
allay my fears. Even now, my mother's face glow with affection when she recalls how at age six, I helped to
bathe, feed and clothe her during the long period of recovery. My desire to help care for her was instinctive;
she never needed to ask.
Driven by this instinct, I have pursued several opportunities to help others in my community. On Sundays, I
help to cook and serve meals at our church's soup kitchen. I also volunteer two nights a week at the
Emergency Room of Miriam Hospital. Through a summer internship at the pediatric ICU at Rhode Island
Hospital, I have worked with children who are HIV positive. Each experience gave me a profound sense of
satisfaction, even if I could not personally treat or save my patients.
I realize that being a doctor requires more than a desire to help people. A physician must have an
impressive science background and the perseverance to continually acquire new knowledge and skills.
During my undergraduate years at Yale University, I plan to acquire these characteristics through my
academic, extracurricular and research experiences. These qualities, in addition to my concern for others,
will enable me to care for my future patients with sensitivity and understanding. The once bewildered six-
year-old at the scene of a car accident will soon have the skills and maturity to do more than bathe her
patients; she will be well prepared to diagnose and treat illnesses and injuries of amazing complexity.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Syracuse University and Brown University.
The morning of New Year's Day, 1995, was bright and sunny, which belied the subsequent turn of events.
Refreshed from a good night's sleep, I lifted the blankets, rose to my feet, and collapsed on my bedroom's
hardwood floors. To my horror, I could not move my legs, which felt like useless stumps splayed underneath
my large torso.
Soon afterwards, the emergency room doctors reassured me that the cause was a treatable viral infection,
and not, as my parents had worried, a deforming case of polio. Although I recovered from the frightening
infection, I overheard the doctor's dire warnings to my parents about my weight. Apparently, the pudginess
that seemed so cute in my infancy was now a threat to nearly every aspect of my health. Although the virus
could be cured, my skyrocketing blood pressure and cholesterol levels were a source of even greater
concern.
As a shy, overweight child, I also endured my fair share of emotional trauma for my "crime" of being obese.
To no one's surprise, I was a convenient target for school yard bullies. Despite my best efforts to ignore their
cruel remarks, I often wanted to cry. One day, after my virus scare, I managed to dry my eyes and stand up
for myself. Although I don't remember exactly what I said to my tormentor, the results were life-changing.
From that day forward, I refused to let anyone bully me. If necessary, I eagerly defended other kids who
were vulnerable to the same type of emotional cruelty. By facing my fears, I became a compassionate
person who was determined to take care of others. But obviously, as a first step, I desperately needed to
take care of myself.
My childhood weight problems were a complication of my battles with chronic respiratory ailments, including
asthma, allergies and pneumonia. During my weekly visits to the local military hospital, where my mother
worked as a scientist, the staff became my extended family. With the support of Dr. Cohen, an especially
caring pediatrician, I began an aggressive diet and exercise program that enabled me to lose weight and
overcome my illnesses. At an early age, I discovered the power of preventive medicine in shaping my
physical and mental health. Thanks to Dr. Cohen's support, by the time I enrolled in high school, I was lean,
healthy and symptom-free. Buoyed by this success, I couldn't imagine anything more rewarding than
becoming a doctor.
I chose the University of Pennsylvania for my undergraduate studies because of your interdisciplinary
research program on the causes of childhood obesity. After conquering the problem in my own life, I am
eager to acquire the skills to help other children beat the same odds. I hope to conduct my undergraduate
research with Dr. Seth Myers, who has spent the past several years investigating the complex role of
genetics and environment in determining body mass. Armed with this information, I will be better prepared to
determine more effective ways for children to promote and maintain weight loss. As I discovered on New
Year's Day, 1995, their lives may depend on it.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Princeton University and Yale University.
To a casual observer, I live a charmed life. I am a smart young man who is popular at school, who has
never faced any serious physical or mental challenges. Yet my polished exterior hides an tortured soul that
wrestles with the choice between playing it safe and taking a stand. Despite my strong sense of morality, I
am a born coward who tends to shy away from confrontation. As a child, the consequences often left me
feeling sad and vulnerable. Although I wished I could stand up to the schoolyard bully, I never had the
confidence to do so. It took a special incident to jar me out of my self-imposed timidity, which helped me to
develop the backbone and character I desperately wanted to possess.
When I was thirteen, I joined a swim team that included an eighteen-year-old boy with Down's Syndrome.
Because of his slurred speech and physical handicaps, Brad was never really an accepted member of the
team. At first, his size and physical traits intimidated me, until our coach explained the nature of his disorder.
Armed with this new information, I decided to put aside my initial fear and befriend the boy. Within a few
days, we were best buddies. Surprisingly, despite being five years younger than Brad, I found myself in a
nurturing position: putting up with his "childish" antics, tying his shoelaces and teaching him games.
After six months, we were advanced to the next level, which required different practice times. Unfortunately,
on the very first day of practice, there was trouble. The older boys, who had never met anyone with Down's
Syndrome, began to make fun of Brad. Although he was physically stronger than the others, my peaceful
friend did not know how to deal with the verbal abuse. Although I was upset, I was also afraid of the older
boys and did not immediately speak up. Unfortunately, the mocking became physical and my anger
overcame my fear. In a heat of rage that belied my frail body, I jumped onto a bench, yelling back. Moments
later, I found myself in a hopeless fight against a sixteen-year-old bully.
Needless to say, the fight sealed any hopes I had of being accepted into the older crowd. Yet, thinking back,
the incident still brings tears to my eyes. For a split moment, when he rushed in to save me, I looked into
Brad's eyes and saw something that completely warmed my heart. It was neither outright gratitude nor
condemnation for escalating a bad situation. Instead, I saw unconditional support from someone who would
always, without question, have my back. By jumping into a fight that I had foolishly provoked, Brad taught
me a powerful lesson about loyalty and friendship.
ESSAY 1: Write page 217 of your 300-page autobiography.
This student was accepted at Duke University and Brown University.
In my native Greece, the slogan Faster! Higher! Stronger! is written on the walls of the three
gymnasiums where I train in martial arts. For more than ten years, as I practiced each day, those principles
became deeply embedded in my mind. However great I am doing, I always believe I can always do better.
Unfortunately, my faith in these principles eventually led to a grave misfortune in my athletic career.
In late 2024, after winning three consecutive Olympic Gold Medals for my homeland, I considered myself to
be in peak athletic form. In a sport that is dominated by teenagers, I somehow managed to retain the poise,
stamina and concentration of competitors half my age. In addition to teaching and coaching martial arts, I
was a fearless gymnast who refused to accept the limitations of middle age. Sadly, fate had other plans.
Seized by the aspiration to compete in the 2024 Olympics, I embarked on a grueling eighteen-day
training regimen. In my quest to qualify, I over-trained and acquired Osgood-Schlatter Disease, one of the
most common causes of terrible knee pain among professional athletes. My doctor advised me I could
choose to either quit martial arts, or to continue competing and suffer the consequences of becoming
physically handicapped. It was a tough decision. Fortunately, I was mature enough to decide to quit.
At the time, it seemed like the end of my world. During the then previous years, though, I learned a
lot: I learned the art of perfection, I learned how to endure fatigue and pain, how to harness my fears, how to
control my mind, body and spirit and, finally, how to lose and to win gracefully. If not for these skills, I would
never have acquired the gold medals, the prestigious coaching position or partial ownership in the
gymnasium. I would not have been invited to give inspirational speeches to budding athletes across the
globe. Although the end of my martial arts career was an unexpected transition, I walked away with a
powerful optimism for the future.

This student was accepted at Syracuse University, the University of Pennsylvania and Temple University.
Surprisingly, by age 40, my lucrative business had lost its allure and I was ready to move on to something
new. After a few tense talks with my husband Jeff, I opted to sell my thriving internet business to my
assistant, who retained her love of the e-commerce rat race. With over a million dollars in my pocket, I
moved to Key West, where stress was low and "Embrace Margaritaville" was the city motto.
My cozy beach house that overlooked the clear blue ocean was the perfect place to collect my thoughts as
the waves methodically crashed to shore. As I watched the red-gold sun disappear into the horizon, I
realized how truly happy I was. Once again, I felt the thrill of new beginnings and the excitement of things to
come. Jeff, on the other hand, missed the excitement of the mainland and channeled his restlessness into
various home improvement projects. Less than a month after our arrival, he insisted on converting our tiny
garage into a home-based office. The resulting "oasis," fully-equipped with the latest communication
technology, enabled him to juggle his work with family time, which was our reluctant compromise. Even in
paradise, my workaholic spouse frequently worked from dusk until dawn. With our children away at school, I
had hoped for more fun times in the Keys before we embarked on our annual vacation to New York.
Although Jeff insisted on bringing his fax machine and video-phone on the trip, he promised to keep the
business calls to a minimum.
Our first days in the Big Apple were magical; I marveled at the Statue of Liberty's third renovation and
caught the Andrew Lloyd Webber revival on Broadway. Jeff and I spent seven glorious days in Manhattan,
taking in every last drop of culture, shopping and music. Our next stop was Syracuse, where we stayed with
my old college roommate in her recently-expanded dairy farm. For three days, we reminisced about old
times with Melanie and her husband, as we gorged ourselves on fresh rolls, sweet creamery butter and
hand-raised chickens from the farm. How wonderful to finally escape the demands of the business world.
Alas, it was not to be. On our last day in Syracuse, Melanie took me aside and asked me to evaluate her
business plan for a potential internet enterprise. She apologized profusely for bothering me, claiming to
understand my reluctance to "talk shop," but she simply knew that this was the right opportunity for us.
Arrgh!
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Syracuse University, Dartmouth University and Yale
University.
Thanks to my trusty four-wheel drive, I was the only doctor on staff on the night that Hurricane Alberto hit the
coast of Maine. In addition to the accident victims already in the ER, my primary concern was Ella, a
kindhearted elderly woman in the final days of cancer.
Just as I was about to leave her room, I was startled by the sound of her monitor. As it blared its intimidating
"beep, beep, beep," I took a closer look at the frail, white-haired old woman attached to miles of tubing. Why
did this have to happen now? She was resting so comfortably. Was it possible that her body simply didn't
wish to deal with the burgeoning storm?
Glancing at her hands made me reminisce about the many years that Ella had been my patient. Hands that
had rocked tiny babies to sleep and fed them their carefully warmed formula. Hands that created vibrant
party dresses, aprons and blouses for her fashion-conscious daughters. Hands that had come together in
prayer at the news that the "small spot" on her lung wasn't as innocuous as we had originally hoped. How
many times had I held those hands and chatted with her about topics both big and small? As I glanced at
the ring on Ella's finger, I thought of her late husband Harold, who was undoubtedly waiting for her in
heaven. Was tonight going to be their long-awaited reunion? Not if I could help it.
Over the past year, I often saw the frightened child in Ella, who was simply not ready to die. With six adult
children and eighteen grandchildren living nearly, Ella still had so much to live for. Although her nauseating
cancer treatments were a startling contrast to how she had planned to live out her final days, she endured
them with dignity. She wanted as much time on earth as I could possibly give her.
Looking at her face, I noticed her resemblance to my own mother, who had died the previous November. I
knew the pain that Ella's children would go through if I couldn't revive her. Losing a mother is one of the
greatest pains in the world, a knife wound to the heart. I hoped to delay that pain for the Alvarez family for at
least another day.
Reaching out to touch Ella's hand, I quietly rejoiced when I felt her faint pulse. "False alarm," I called to the
frantic nurse. "She's going to be just fine."
This student was accepted at Johns-Hopkins University and Temple University.
On our long-awaited second honeymoon, Kyle and I spent a leisurely week exploring Istanbul, Turkey, a city
renowned for its historic museums, shopping opportunities and exquisite cuisine. We had planned to take
the trip a decade earlier, but were forced to cancel it when I was diagnosed with colon cancer. After
surviving the grueling regimen of chemotherapy and radiation, followed by reconstructive surgery, I
considered the trip a much-deserved reward for cheating death.
For breakfast, we visited a simple tea garden to enjoy Simits (sesame covered ring-shaped bread), feta
cheese, rose jam and tea. As we ate, we absorbed the breathtaking scenery of the Bosphorus, the strait
that separates Turkey's Asian and European half. Although it is now a tourist district, the narrow streets, old
shops and distinct architecture provided us with a rare glimpse of centuries past.
Afterwards, we visited the Topkapi Palace, which was the home of Ottoman Sultans over 400 years ago. Its
large garden, extravagant harem and many displays, including one of the largest diamonds in the world,
brought back old stories that my grandparents had told me. After sharing my wonderful memories with Kyle,
we took several photos to share with our daughter Dolores. We later made our way to the Yerebatan
(sunken) Cistern, the largest underground aqueduct in the world, which was also the setting for From Russia
With Love.
For lunch, we visited a seaside patisserie (bakery) that offered delicious Profiterols. We took our seats on
the oceanfront courtyard, where diners are frequently splashed with sea water. For an afternoon jaunt, we
explored the Grand Bazaar, where 4000 shops sell spices, carpets, jewelry and leather goods. We finished
our fulfilling day at an upscale seafood restaurant, followed by a quiet walk back to our hotel. Gazing into the
night sky, I pondered the Istanbul of centuries ago, when sultans reigned and the city was a very different
place.
This student was accepted at Duke University, the University of Chicago and Georgetown University.
At age fifty, I was still enamored by the exotic sights and sounds of my native Turkey. After decades of living
in Germany, Turkey's coastal beauty, fragrant bazaars and delectable cuisine were a refreshing change to
me. After years of scrimping and saving, I was excited to achieve my childhood dream of opening my own
bed and breakfast in my family's homeland. My ties to the Mediterranean, along with my rich experiences as
an executive in the United States, had prepared me to succeed with my somewhat nontraditional aspirations.
As a young girl, I worked long hours at our boutique hotel in Antalya, Turkey. The smaller scale of the
property enabled me to learn the intricacies of hotel management with a hands-on approach. When the
housekeepers failed to report to work one day, I gathered every available employee and personally
supervised and helped with the cleanup. If a guest had an urgent request, it was my job to fulfill it. I quickly
learned that no task was too big or too small in the hospitality industry. A good manager must know when
and how to react in unexpected situations.
With my diverse cultural and lingual background, I was a natural for a career in hotel management. While
still in my teens, I already knew that I had found my niche. Yet my family quickly discovered that building
and operating a full-scale hotel entails more than financial means and good management skills. In the
rapidly changing tourism industry, small enterprises like ours could not compete. The hotel failed after two
years, providing a sad learning experience. Rather than proceed in such an uncertain industry, I decided to
earn my undergraduate degree in Business Administration at Columbia University.
Yet two decades of success as a marketing whiz could not erase my longstanding desire to run my own
business. To ease the transition, I worked for three years as a consultant for a hospitality firm in the
Mediterranean region of Turkey that specialized in revenue management for small hoteliers. The position
allowed me to master the financial concepts required to succeed in such a highly competitive industry. By
using a sophisticated forecasting model, I learned how to forecast demand and maximize revenue. Before I
even opened my doors, I had created daily and weekly rate-forecasting models that projected the potential
effects of dozens of risk factors. Finally, after a lifetime of dreams and optimism, I was ready for whatever
curveball life threw at me.
ESSAY 1: You have been asked many questions on this application, all asked by someone else. If
you yourself were in a position to ask a thought-provoking and revealing question of college
applicants, what would that question be?
This student was accepted at Princeton University, Johns-Hopkins University and Duke University.
As a seasoned bibliophile, I have discovered that the fastest route to discovering a person's character is to
inquire about what he likes to read. Therefore, I wish that the admissions committee had asked me to
discuss my two favorite books and how they changed my life.
On an intellectual level, I have been most challenged by Narcissus and Goldmund by Hermann Hesse,
which I read for the first time last summer. After I put it down, I was too excited to sleep, because I had
come away with an inexplicable sense of self-awareness. The book forced me to explore the depths of my
soul, including my individual thoughts on goodness, generosity and the true meaning of life. Since these
concepts are so complex, I knew that I had only begun to understand them; clearly, the book contained
countless messages that I had not yet grasped from my initial reading. Unlike most works of fiction, with
Narcissus and Goldmund, I had a book that I would re-read multiples times to gain additional insight into
Hesse's underlying messages.
In contrast, Black Like Me moved me emotionally in the explicit way it depicted the cruel racial taunts that the
author endured. As a white woman, I was moved to tears by his description of the differences in people's
responses to him, depending on whether he presented himself as black or white. Sadly, his occupation,
clothing, wealth, speech, and identity were irrelevant when his skin was black. As a racial minority, he was
considered to be worthless and unwanted, a drain on society. Because this was book was non-fiction, my
reaction was particularly strong; these people were real, as was their hatred. Black Like Me forced me to
take a stand on racism, including the more subtle ways it exists in my own community. After reading it, I took
the initiative to champion equality for all students on the Math Team and Pep Squad, where I am a trainer
and judge. To whatever extent possible, I make selection decisions based on performance rather than
preconceptions. I also take the initiative to let minority students know that they are most certaintly welcome
to join in the fun.
Unlike most bibliophiles, I do not expect my books to provide the final answer for everything. Instead, I
prefer to apply the information I glean to situations in my own life, hopefully with a broader and more
knowledgeable perspective. Books are not just a ready source of entertainment, but a way to explore new
places, ideas and opportunities from the comfort of my own bedroom. The greatest books, like Narcissus
and Goldmund and Black Like Me, are my favorites because they helped me to learn more about myself.
This student was accepted at Northwestern University, the University of Michigan and Yale University.
I wish the committee had asked me to discuss how I've build several international friendships without leaving
the privacy of my bedroom. Ever since I was little, I've had the overwhelming desire to travel the world. In
my small town of Muncie, Iowa, where everyone knows everyone else, I yearned to meet interesting new
people who lived in faraway places, spoke strange languages and had cultures different from my own. At
age twelve, while flipping through a travel magazine, I came across a page filled with the addresses of kids
from all over the world who wanted to correspond with pen pals. "At last!" I thought. I had found a chance to
expand my horizons without ever leaving Muncie.
After reading though dozens of different ads, I decided to answer one from a girl in Finland who sounded a
lot like me: blond hair, green eyes, loves all types of music and dancing. When I heard back from Brita a
month later, she became the first of several international pen pals. Over the subsequent six years, I kept in
close touch with Brita, while also corresponding with a boy from the Philippines (Chad) and a girl from Costa
Rica (Jhana). Once we got past our obvious differences, we were surprised to discover how much we had in
common. Although we all loved to read, we tended to struggle with math. While we considered ourselves
well-informed, we were puzzled by the anti-American sentiment during the Iraqi invasion. And none of us
could resist the allure of the Spiderman movies, even if we saw them with subtitles!
Over the years, I've become very close to Brita, Chad and Jhana, who I consider my best friends. Through
our letters, we have actually become each other's greatest teachers. Each has taught me about his/her
culture, politics and values in a way that I would never have learned in school. In a day's mail, I can learn
about anything from Finnish cuisine to the collapse of the tourist industry in the Phillipines to the popular
music trends in Costa Rica. Thanks to the generosity of my pen pals, I have been able to see the world from
many perspectives that are very different from those in Muncie. Every letter I receive expands my horizons
and adds another piece to my jigsaw-puzzle-view of the world.
This student was accepted at Princeton University, Brown University and Georgetown University.
What was the greatest meal you have ever eaten?
In my family, there is nothing better than a good "home-cooked" Italian meal. My most memorable dinner
was two years ago in Italy, at the home of my maternal grandmother. Despite the oppressive heat and
humidity, Grandmother Morelli was determined to prepare a feast that was worthy of her visiting
granddaughter. Using only fresh, organic ingredients from the local market, she spent hours in her tiny
kitchen preparing ravioli, salad and fresh garlic bread.
As the guest, my services were not required in the kitchen, but I was eager to help stir the pot and possibly
pick up a few cooking tips. For over an hour, Grandmother and I worked silently in the tiny galley kitchen,
chopping, boiling and sifting a seemingly endless supply of ingredients. Finally, we reached a lull, when the
hard work was done; our salads awaited tossing, while the ravioli and garlic break baked slowly in the oven.
To my surprise, rather than be excited by our opportunity to take a break, my sweet Grandmother started to
cry. At first I was nervous, then somewhat embarrassed. I wondered if I had done something wrong. Her
quick, emotional hug gave me my answer, along with an unexpected lesson in family history. It seems that
my afternoon in the kitchen was actually a family tradition that dated back nearly a century. My Grandmother
had learned to cook in that very room, and later took great pride in teaching my mother how to prepare the
same dishes. In her mind, by learning how to make the Morelli specialties from scratch, I would be able to
pass down the same tradition to my own children some day.
On an intellectual level, it made no sense, as having children was the farthest thing from my mind. Yet I
instinctively knew that the occasion was not about logic, but about making a deep emotional connection to
my maternal grandmother. In a split second, I understood the importance of family and history. Although I
heard my mother tell dozens of stories about growing up in Italy, I could never really relate to it. In a million
different ways, her childhood in Verona was a far cry from my own experiences in the heart of Manhattan.
Yet, despite our differences, we now shared the ritual of cooking a special meal for our hungry family. I was
humbled and honored to be part of something so special.
Looking back, neither my grandmother or I were the greatest cooks that night; the ravioli was overcooked
and the garlic bread was somewhat soggy. But, miraculously, no one seemed to notice. For several hours,
my large extended family ate, drank and laughed though dozens of stories about events that spanned nearly
eighty years of living. Sometimes, when really excited, my grandmother began to speak in broken Italian,
which no one could understand. It didn't matter. That meal, surrounded by members of my mother's family,
remains a cherished moment in my life. As I plan my future, I am eager to make additional trips to Verona,
to explore the people and places that my extended family calls home.
This student was accepted at Brown University, Bowdoin College and the University of Connecticut.
I would ask candidates to identify and explain their greatest passion. In my case, the answer would
be Bharat Natyam, the Indian Classical dance that I have studied for three years. At this point, I am still very
much a novice, as Bharat Natyam requires seven years of dedication, discipline and commitment to fully
perfect the technique. Each hand gesture, facial expression and eye movement tell a specific part of the
story. In addition to the graceful execution of each intricate move, classical dance also requires an
understanding of its cultural meaning. My training requires an integration of numerous technical skills and a
heartfelt dedication that can only come from the soul.
The discipline I have developed from studying Bharat Natyam has had many benefits in my
academic career. Over the past three years, I have learned to focus my energy to develop the intense
concentration that is appropriate for each movement. Yet I have also learned how to open my heart, which
enables me to connect with the dance on a deeper spiritual level. When I am disappointed by my progress, I
am inspired by my teacher, who has studied Classical dance for over 30 years. I watch how each basic
step, which is frustrating to perfect, emerges over time into a beautiful sequence that tells a story. Yet I also
know that she mastered the dance just like me, with attention and dedication, over a long period of time.
Building my career will also be a step-by-step process, which will require me to complete my education,
select a career path and learn the intricate details of my chosen profession. Although I have not yet begun
to cultivate the essential skills to succeed, through Bharat Natyam, I have already developed the heart and
soul of a leader.
This student was accepted at Columbia University, New York University and Vassar College.
What do your possessions say about you?
A recent survey in Cosmopolitan magazine tried to predict the reader's personality from the contents of her
bedroom. After taking the short quiz, which missed the mark more often than hitting it, I wondered what a
total stranger would think when he or she entered my room. What would my possessions convey about my
personality, interests and character?
Upon entering, a visitor would first notice the absence of posters, knickknacks and trophies that cover the
walls of most American teenagers. In my case, the lack of adornment is a simple preference for clean walls,
which provide a sense of tranquility. Ironically, my zen for cleanliness does not extend to the rest of the
room, where the bed lies unmade and yesterday's wardrobe gathers dust on the floor. I hope the visitor's
first impression would be that I am tidy, but not inflexible.
While touring the room, the most impressive feature is my workspace, desk and computer, which are neat,
well-used and well-organized. My desktop includes the typical pencil holder, books and desk calendar,
which is filled with important dates-tests, deadlines, and rare days off from school. My non-academic
interests are reflected by the top of my bureau, which is covered by several personal items, including a
postcard from my best friend, a present from my grandfather, and my uniform from my job at Chick-Fil-A.
The postcard reveals my spiritual side, as it includes a famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi about the
importance of maintaining peace in one's own soul. Although I have never visited India, I enjoy discussing
its religion and culture, which play a fundamental role in my best friend's life.
On my nightstand are two stacks of books, including a healthy balance between school texts and carefully
selected items for pleasure reading. I hope that my visitor would interpret their presence as evidence of my
desire to be well-read on both an intellectual and whimsical level. The presence of two daily newspapers,
USA Today and the Miami Herald, are a testament to my commitment to keeping abreast of what is going on
in the world.
Although my mother disapproves, I consider my perpetually unmade bed as a symbol of rest and quietude.
On an aesthetic level, the plaid comforter and mismatched sheets do not reflect my personal style as much
as my laziness on cleaning day. Since my bedroom is my haven, my bed would seem precious to me
regardless of how I chose to "gussy it up." To me, it's perfect just the way it is. After all, it's where I read,
study, and talk on the phone. It's where I watch TV, paint my nails and prepare for oral book reports. It's
even where I "veg out" when I need a short break from the rat race. In hindsight, some of my best moments
have occurred while lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, pondering the nature of relationships, college
and careers.
The final item is my room is the requisite stereo system and assorted collection of tapes and C.D.'s. Upon
perusing my selection, a visitor would rightfully include that my musical taste is eclectic, but leans heavily
toward classic rock. Past the techno-tunes of the Eighties lie my current favorites, alternative rock, along
with a sprinkling of titles featuring country, classical and jazz artists. Regardless of my mood, these sounds
provide a sense of tranquility while doing homework, writing reports or completing my college applications.
They hopefully show my non-academic side, which likes to take breathers from the more rigorous aspects of
life.
After exiting my room, I would hope that my visitor would conclude that I was a happy, healthy, well-adjusted
girl who loves to learn new things. Blessed with a passion for music, philosophy and world events, I am the
typical girl next store who hopes to pursue a satisfying career as a teacher. Rather than seeing my lack of
cleanliness as a flaw, I hope they it as a quaint eccentricity, which builds character. After all, if a little dirt is
the most embarrassing thing in my room, I would easily pass the inspection of whatever visitor may drop by.
ESSAY 1: Discuss an Athletic Achievement
This student was accepted at the University of Virginia and Yale University.
His name was Chang. Although there were other competitors at the tournament, no one else posed any
serious threat to my title. Throughout the five years that I had competed in this tournament, I had easily won
the black belt championship in my division. Chang, however, was the most phenomenal martial artist I had
ever witnessed. His recent addition to my division made it a whole new game.
To be honest, my first assessment of my adversary left me queasy. Although Chang was identical to me in
rank, age, size, and weight, he surpassed me in almost every aspect of our training. His feet were lightning
fast and his hands were virtually invisible in their swiftness. Despite his small size, he had the power of a
bear. As I watched Chang from the sidelines, I noted that his form and techniques were nearly perfect. But I
refused to psyche myself out. Although I had never beaten anyone even remotely as extraordinary, victory
was not impossible. After all, I WAS the state champion.
As I quietly evaluated Chang's strengths, I discovered my best hope for beating this incredible foe. Despite
his obvious gifts, Chang had a major weakness; he was lazy. He didn't practice long enough. He worked
hard, but not as hard as I did. Basking in overconfidence, he didn't think that he had to. Mistake! Knowing
the power of my own tenacity, I knew that I had found my passage to triumph.
In my own martial arts career, my success hinged almost entirely on my perseverance. What I lacked in
initial skill and form, I more than made up for through relentless practice. After winning a few regional titles, I
still retained the fighter spirit and maintained a rigorous training schedule. Every evening, I kicked, blocked,
and punched at an imaginary opponent in my room. Over time, the hundreds of hour of constant drilling had
improved my techniques and speed to the point where my skills were instinctive. I was ready for a challenge
like Chang.
On the day of the championship match, Chang looked as confident as ever. Adrenaline raced through my
body as I stepped into the ring. We bowed to each other and to the instructor, and the match began. For the
longest time, we were evenly matched; his strength against my endurance made us the most unlikely of
competitors. The score was tied when time ran out, which forced us to go into Sudden Death. Whoever
scored the next point would win.
I was tired beyond belief. The grueling two points I had already won had nearly sapped my stamina.
Somehow, I needed to score another point to taste victory. Although Chang seemed unfazed, I refused to
allow him to discourage me. I focused my entire being, my entire consciousness, on overcoming my
nemesis. All of my training, every cell in my body, every drop of desire was directed to that single purpose
as I exploded through his defenses and drove a solitary fist to its mark.
Sweet, sweet victory! Through relentless, sweaty determination, I somehow accomplished the impossible. I
beat Chang. I retained my title. I discovered that perseverance really does deliver its own just rewards. As
a competitor, this one experience, this single moment, changed me forever. For a split second, I was the
best.
This student was accepted at Georgetown University, the University of Illinois and Carnegie Mellon
University.
Playing varsity football has changed my entire outlook on life. Before my freshman year in high school, I was
shy and had impossibly low self-esteem. Even the simplest challenges, like making new friends, seemed
difficult. Football changed all of that.
On the first day of freshman practice, the team warmed up with a game of touch football. In such a talented
group of players, I was extremely intimidated. While others jockeyed for position, hoping to be thrown the
ball, I was petrified of making a mistake and ruining a play. I was equally quiet in the classroom, where I
refrained from asking questions, afraid that they might be considered too stupid by my classmates. All the
while, I came home each night physically and mentally exhausted.
As time passed, I continued to fear making mistakes and getting blamed by my screaming coaches and
angry teammates, yet I stayed on the team and occasionally got to play. Eventually, of course, my greatest
fears came true. During my sophomore season, I botched several plays as a backup guard, which
fortunately did not change the outcome of the game. The first time the coach chewed me out, I thought I
was going to die. But I didn't. In fact, I received several understanding grins from my team mates who had
been in similar situations. I came to realize that part of the game was making mistakes; the only "perfect"
players were those on television and in the movies. As a varsity player on the Bristol High School football
team, I proceeded to earn my fair share of both accolades and criticism. Learning to accept the feedback,
whether justified or not, made me a changed man.
Over the years, playing football has taught me what it takes to succeed. From months of tough practices, I
have gained a solid work ethic. From my coaches and fellow teammates, I have learned how to cooperate
with others to achieve a common goal. But most importantly, I gained self-confidence in all aspects of my
life. If I fail, it doesn't matter if the crowd mocks or ridicules me; I'll just try again. As my coach often says,
"You must risk failure in order to gain success." With a positive mindset, I have discovered that nothing is
impossible; in fact, the bravest players actually welcome the challenge. Playing football taught me that it is
irrelevant if I succeed or fail; it is only important that I continue to test myself and discover the limits of my
potential.
This student was accepted at Brown University and Yale University.
Over the past four years, I have trekked the entire length of the Appalachian Trail, cycled 300 miles across
Pennsylvania and rock climbed in northern Montana. Yet the most rewarding activities are those in which I
have combined my passion for sports with charity work. Recently, I served as the cyclist escort in the IBM
Marathon for Elisa Evans, an activist for the rights of the handicapped. Over 300 cyclists participated in the
marathon, which raised over $182,000 for the cause. Last month, I served as the volunteer coordinator for
Cycle Aide activities in Pennsylvania, including a clothing drive and 90-mile Prediction Ride to benefit the
tsunami victims in Sri Lanka.
My commitment to athletics is particularly impressive considering the dismal state of my health as a child.
To the amazement of people who meet me today, I entered high school as a chubby girl who had never
participated in sports. Nearly 40 lbs overweight, I had trouble walking around the block without losing my
breath. Thanks to the support of Audrey Bowers, our high school track coach, I decided that good health
was not only possible, but essential. By committing myself to a lifetime program of fitness, I lost weight,
improved my health and became a vocal advocate for the lifelong benefits of exercise. Ms. Bowers literally
saved my life.
From my participation in athletics, I have developed several key skills for success. First, through years of
hard work and continuous training, I have strong discipline, which has enhanced my character, work ethic,
and perseverance. Through my charity work, I have learned to lead by example and to put the needs of
others before my own. Above all, though, sports have increased my love of life. Through hiking, rock
climbing and cycling, I have experienced pain, sacrifice, adversity, and success. Exposure to these feelings,
which embody the entire essence of being, has enabled me to truly appreciate life.
This student was accepted at the University of Chicago, Temple University, Vanderbilt University and Yale
University.
When I feel overwhelmed by stress, I indulge in my passion for rowing. I've been a dedicated athlete since
junior high school, pursuing sports such as football, lacrosse and bicycling. In addition to providing great
physical benefits, exercise diffuses the physical and emotional stress of my rigorous course load. But
nothing pumps my heart or ignites my mind as much as rowing.
I discovered my passion for the sport at age fourteen, when I joined St Xavier Academy's lightweight crew
team. As a tall, scrawny freshman, I quickly discovered the intensity of the sport and the rigid training
regimen. Although I was initially overwhelmed, I was inspired by the dedication and discipline of my
teammates, particularly the seasoned upperclassmen. My competitive spirit enabled me to focus on my diet,
sleep habits and training schedule, choosing the proper combination to improve my performance and avoid
injuries. I developed an acute awareness of my body and learned how to maximize its potential under
difficult conditions. Throughout high school, I spent more than 15 hours per week training, developing the
discipline, determination, and respect to pursue my sport. These virtues, which are a precious gift in their
own right, have allowed me to conquer other personal and academic challenges.
Unfortunately, at our summer home in the city, I can not indulge my passion for rowing on a daily basis. Yet
on a clear weekend morning, following a week of classes, papers and hobbies, nothing is more relaxing that
an exhilarating row across Lake Verona, using my physical strength to gently tread water and become one
with nature.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Columbia University and Cornell University.
In addition to my academic interests, I have always been passionate about playing rugby. I competed on my
junior high school's varsity team, which placed first in the Connecticut state tournament when I was in the
eighth grade. Unlike my academic pursuits, which tended to be solitary, rugby taught me how to be a team
player, as our success depended on our mutual cooperation and gamesmanship. In addition to mastering
our individual skills, we challenged each other on the field, raising the level of our game. Additionally,
through my role as Team Captain, I developed the necessary leadership skills to maintain the teams
cohesiveness.
I continued my pursuit of rugby at Exeter Academy, where I was a starting member of the campus varsity
team. We competed with other prep schools in Connecticut, placing first in three national rugby
tournaments. In my senior year, we were invited to train for the United States' first entry into the Olympic
rugby competition. I was honored by the opportunity to practice with some of the best names in the sport,
including Rob Andrew and Bill Beaumont. With their generous coaching and assistance. I miraculously
earned a spot on the United States team. To everyone's amazement, we captured the Bronze Medal while
representing the nation at Seoul.
It is not an exaggeration to say that rugby has changed my life. Since graduating from Exeter Academy, I
continue to coach a junior high school rugby team in Bridgeport. In addition to improving my physical fitness,
coaching enhances my sense of optimism and gives me a positive way to interact with children. I love
working with future rugby stars, giving back to the sport the same enthusiasm, dedication and support that
my childhood coaches gave me.
ESSAY 1: Candidates Assess What Makes Them Unique
This student was accepted at Johns-Hopkins University, Georgetown University and the University of
Virginia.
Like many natives of India, I consider my family to be a significant part of my life. As the fifth of seven
children, I have been fortunate enough to be surrounded by an encouraging family throughout my life. Their
loyalty has enabled me to overcome several obstacles, including my difficult transition to life in the United
States. As a traditional Hindu, I often struggled to balance the divergent aspects of the American and Indian
cultures. My brothers helped me to create my own unique personality.
After our relocation to the US, my family also helped me to adjust to the absence of my father, who chose to
remain in Bangalore. To compensate for his absence, my four older brothers took the initiative to fill the
vacant paternal role in my life. Through this act, they became a protective group of surrogate parents who
instilled in me a powerful sense of family loyalty. Their example ultimately made me a more selfless person.
By constantly witnessing my siblings putting the needs of the family ahead of their own, I have learned to do
the same. Whenever possible, we devote our free time to the Indian Wellness Center in lower Manhattan.
During busy times, simply answering the phones and cleaning the offices can give their staffers a much-
needed break.
Along with selflessness, the trust and support from my family has also given me self-confidence. Unlike
those who fear making mistakes and looking foolish, I am always eager to try new things and experiment
with different ideas. I have not been successful in every endeavor, but I have enjoyed learning the limits of
my talent and potential. Whether I succeed or fail in anyone else's eyes, I am a winner simply by taking the
initiative to learn more about myself.
How well do I trust my family? With my life. When I was ten years old, I got lost on the subway in the heart
of New York City. Separated from my older brother, I missed my planned stop and got off in the heart of
Bensonhurst, where the people I encountered didn't speak a word of English. Rather than panic, I simply
kept in mind my brother's advice, "If you are ever lost or in trouble, go to the police." I flagged down a
passing taxi, who brought me directly to the nearest police station in Brooklyn.
Waiting for me, anxiously pacing the hallway, was my older brother, Ankur. Thankfully, he noticed that I had
missed my stop and had gotten stuck on the subway until Bensonhurst. When he couldn't find me himself,
he automatically went to the police station to get assistance. That's probably the best example I can offer
about how safe I felt within my family. Alone in a new city, among seven million complete strangers, I was
certain that my brother would find me. And he did.
Upon hearing the story, friends always ask me what I would have done if Ankur had not been waiting for me
at the police station. With such a large family, I had several options. Perhaps I would have called my
mother and and asked her to pick me up. Or I could have left her a message to pass on to Ankur about my
whereabouts. Or perhaps I would have called my older brother, who was attending college at Columbia
University. Whatever choice I made, I knew that I would be found, loved and treasured. That's what my
family has given me, and it is what I have to offer others.
Perhaps the greatest thing about family loyalty is that it isn't confined to my blood relatives. In fact, it is
contagious. By instilling in me the trust, loyalty and self-confidence that they have, my family has inspired
me to share my blessings with my friends, my school and my community. At Harvard, I sincerely hope to
provide the campus community with the same type of acceptance and love which has meant so much to me.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, the University of Chicago, Northwestern University and the
University of Illinois.
When I look at my freshman class picture, I realize how much I have grown and changed over the past three
years. Less than one month after the photograph was taken, I moved across the United States, which forced
me to begin my sophomore year at Washburn High School in Bend, Oregon. A scared fourteen-year-old, I
endured the stigma of being not just the "new kid in town," but of being "lower-middle class" in a decidedly
upscale community. On an emotional level, I was completely unprepared for the move. At the time, the
most important things in my world were the Chicago White Sox and the latest sequel to "Jurassic Park."
Even my t-shirt in the photo has a photo of Navy Pier, confirming my loyalty to the city I had always called
home. I couldn't imagine how I would survive in rural Bend.
In retrospect, moving cross-country was a life-changing experience for me, although I resisted the process
for many months. From day one, Washburn high School was a startling contrast to my old school, Cicero
High. At Washburn, education was key, and the few jocks on campus weren't treated like gods the way they
would be been in Chicago. In such a dedicated environment, the classroom became a whole different realm.
In Chicago, the teachers preached the importance of learning, but it was implicitly obvious that the most
important concern was grades. At Washburn, the teachers genuinely believed that learning was the most
importance objective and they deeply encouraged us to collaborate and share our resources.
In fact, in my senior literature class, my teacher assigned us to prepare each week to discuss a different
non-fiction book of our own choosing. The only requirements were that we choose titles and subject areas
that were outside of our "comfort zone" to expand our intellectual horizons. As a result, I know more about
decorating, past-life regression, bread making, tarot cards and WordPerfect than I could ever have imagined.
Teaching methods like this, which encourage independent reading and continual learning, are an excellent
preparation for my future in information technology. I have especially come to appreciate the focus on
thinking, rather than on memorization. Whether in English class or Math lab, I'm required to approach every
idea creatively, rather than just regurgitate the teacher's words. In discussions with fellow students, both
inside and outside of class, we are amazed by the solutions we find simply by pooling our own ideas.
On a personal level, my greatest achievement has been living away from my parents during the school year,
while I stay with my aunt and uncle. By adapting not only to a new city and school, but to a new family, I was
forced to become my own person at as very young age. My school principal has been extremely helpful in
my gradual growth to adulthood. In his own words, "Character can be measured not by one's interaction with
people who are better off than him or herself, but by one's interactions with those who are worse off." By
sharing my resources with others, however limited they may be, I have not only become a stronger person,
but an integral part of the community. This past year, I feel that I have come full-circle, by serving as a
Senior Guide to a new freshman girl from Costa Rica. At first glance, Maria and I are nothing alike, but we
share the same bond of having to adapt to a dramatically new environment. By helping her find her own
niche, I am giving back to the community that has nurtured me so well over the past three years.
As I apply to colleges across the US, I am grateful to the people in Bend and Chicago who have taught me
that "my place" is wherever I choose to make it. Although I am very different from the shy girl in my
freshman class picture, I have managed to retain the traits that best define who I am. I still love the Chicago
White Sox and sci-fi movies, and I wouldn't dream of missing a chance to visit the Second City Comedy
Troupe. But I also have a place in my heart for the people, places and experiences in Bend, which are
stimulating and precious in their own right.
This student was accepted at Dartmouth University, Duke University and the University of Michigan.
Although psychologists claim that mankind is complex beyond comprehension, I do not believe I am a
difficult person to understand. My life is based upon two steadfast philosophies: pragmatism in actions and
idealism in thought. Despite my desire to be totally original, I admit my fondness for one particular cliche:
we are given only a limited time upon this earth and every moment wasted is lost forever. Therefore, I do
not engage in thoughts, feelings and activities that are useless.
What is useless? Negative emotions, such as hate, which accomplishes nothing. It does not relieve hunger
or alleviate pain. It does not help us understand or reconcile with the person or idea we dislike. Instead, it
creates avoidable aggression that invariably spills into other aspects of life. I do not believe in hate's
cousins, prejudice and racism, as my energies and time can be better invested elsewhere. Anger is an
equally useless emotion. What does anger accomplish except frustrating us into a more painful emotional
state? Thankfully, we can avoid anger, along with the subsequent frustration it yields.
After enduring a roller coaster childhood in which I exploded at the smallest things, I have gained control of
my temper. My reward, in addition to a more peaceful home life, is that I am happy, rather than sad. And in
my happiness, I do not worry much about what other people think. Other than my family and friends, I feel
no obligation to twist myself into a pretzel to meet another person's arbitrary vision of "perfection." One
benefit to my outlook is that I have easily dodged the typical pitfalls associated with peer pressure. Knowing
what is right, I am true to myself, even if it means risking my popularity.
Despite my inherent pragmatism, I am also idealistic in many ways, sometimes to the point of
embarrassment. I really believe that I can change the world. Either one man at a time, or a generation at a
time, I will leave my mark on humanity. Despite the cynicism that pervades my generation, I believe that
humans have the ability to accomplish anything and everything. Nothing is impossible.
But before changing the world, we must learn to change ourselves. The reason that so few of us seem
capable of change is that we don't realize that it is a two-step process. We cannot "solve" a problem until we
acknowledge and identify it. From my observation, many well-intentioned people never pass the first level.
They know something is wrong and they complain about it, but they do not take the time to identify the
source. If they were willing to take an honest look at why they wound up where they did, they might find that
the solution was actually quite simple. But they first need to open their eyes, take a critical look at their
circumstances, and be honest about what they discover.
In my own life, I continually strive to improve myself as a student, athlete, brother and son. Occasionally, I
ask others to critique my actions to help me evaluate my flaws. So far, I have enjoyed my fix-it-myself
system, which has given me self-confidence as well as an optimistic attitude about life. By demonstrating to
myself that I can change what bothers me, I feel empowered to take control of all aspects of life. With proper
guidance and direction, along with a little luck, I can create a future beyond most people's wildest dreams.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Bowdoin College, Vassar College and Brown University.
Although my mother calls me a dreamer, I prefer to see myself as an agent of social change. Perhaps
naively, I believe that if enough people on this earth champion a cause, we can reverse our downward spiral
of poverty, depression and despair. Caring is just the first step, however. People must act on their ideals by
working together to achieve the social reforms that are necessary for our collective survival. After examining
the many worthy causes in need of support, I have opted to focus my energy in the reform of feminism.
Why feminism? The obvious answer is because I am a woman, which makes me keenly aware of the subtle
forms of discrimination that continue to plague my sex. Another reason is my deep-rooted sense of justice,
which inspires me to fight on behalf of those who are placed at an unfair disadvantage. But the primary
reason is that I am courageous enough to handle the many challenges and obstacles that being a feminist
will throw onto my path. Every cause needs a champion who is fearless; hence, the feminist movement has
me.
Inspired by a personal meeting with Gloria Steinem, I decided to start a young feminist club at John F.
Kennedy High School to address issues of gender equality. We organized an assembly to raise awareness
about women's issues and to dispel the myths surrounding feminism. We also held a car wash to benefit
Planned Parenthood, and we participated in many Pro-Choice rallies and marches. Over the past four years,
I have spent much of my free time volunteering for local social activism groups, such as the Bristol County
Abused Women's Services and the Providence Chapter of the National Organization for Women. Through
my work on feminist causes, I am able to champion important social issues that tend to be ignored by our
male-dominated legislatures.
Other social activities have provided invaluable experience in the political and judicial world. My sense of
justice and desire for competition drew me to Mock Trial, where I am trained as an attorney and have argued
difficult cases in front of a real judge. This not only teaches me about the judicial system, but also about my
own legal rights. I also enjoy Model United Nations, where we act as delegates from other countries in large
conferences modeled after the United Nations. This shows me how the policies that affect this country and
others are made.
Throughout my work on behalf of feminist causes, I have continued to participate in other social activities to
retain a sense of balance in my life. I especially enjoy creative writing, such as plays and poems, and I work
as Features Editor on the school paper. I also play on my school's varsity lacrosse team. My various
activities have taught me many things about myself and my place in the world . Most importantly, I've learned
that I must work to change the world, without ever abandoning my sense of humor. Nothing can be taken
too seriously, not even myself.

This student was accepted at Harvard University, the University of Pennsylvania, Princeton University and
Yale University.
Born in Tokyo, I came to the United States when I was just four years old. Knowing only two words of
English ("train" and "pizza"), I braved the uncertainties of a complex, new social environment. Thirteen years
later, my vocabulary is considerably larger and I have adapted well to my surroundings. At the same time, I
have neither forgotten my native culture nor its language; in fact, my ties with Japan remain as strong as
ever. I visit my relatives in Tokyo every summer and have traveled extensively throughout Japan. And to
everyone's continuing surprise, I have not forgotten how to speak Japanese.
Nevertheless, thirteen years in the United States have also made an indelible impression upon me. To a
casual observer, I am as "American" as anyone my age. The songs I listen to, the sports I play, and the
clothes I wear are all a reflection of US popular culture. I like to tell new friends that I am like acupuncture
and egg rolls, a combination of both East and West. Nevertheless, I sometimes wonder whether speaking
Japanese at home and visiting my extended family over the summer are enough to maintain my ties with my
native culture. Often, when I see my parents reading classic Japanese literature, I question whether I am
only in touch with half of my identity. This sense of loss has inspired me to seek out my Eastern roots to
rediscover what I have lost.
Yet, I cannot resign myself to merely studying my own culture and language. I want to be able to apply my
knowledge as well. To me, pursuing a career in business is a pragmatic solution to my desire to bridge both
cultures in a beneficial way. My father is a businessman in Tokyo, whom I have observed closely during my
summers in Japan. Through him, I have discovered my own interests in the financial world. As I gain
increased exposure to bond trading, I find the fast pace of the global financial markets to be very exciting.
By watching my father adhere to his ideals in a profession that is ripe with corruption, I am relieved to know
that it is possible to be an honest businessman in Asia.
Before I learned about the University of Pennsylvania, I had decided to study economics to prepare for an
eventual career in international business. This path would combine my intellectual aspirations with my
pragmatic goals of a future livelihood. Japan, my planned area of focus, is an expanding market with a
dearth of skilled business professionals. But, in seeking a university, I wanted a school with a strong focus
on the humanities as well.
Hence, the University of Pennsylvania is perfect for me, as it offers a strong economics curriculum along with
exceptional programs in the humanities. By majoring in economics, I will have access to a wide array of
studies both within and beyond my chosen major. In many ways, I will have an edge in the business world
by virtue of the University of Pennsylvania. After completing my bachelors degree, I will be well prepared for
the challenges of business school and my ultimate dream of running my own financials services firm. As
always, I will be able to serve as a bridge between East and West.
ESSAY 1: Discuss an International Travel Experience
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Johns-Hopkins University and the Massachusetts Institute
of Technology.
I attribute my lifelong fascination with mathematics to my mother, who taught calculus at the Russian
Embassy School in Moscow. From my earliest memory, she encouraged me to study math to better
understand life. Even as a child, I was attracted to the perfection of mathematics, and intrigued by its
inherent dichotomy. On one hand, since the discipline was entirely created by man, the rules could easily be
shaped to suit a mathematician's specific needs. On the other hand, the rules of logic are the final judge,
which means there can be no differing opinions. As a second grade student in Russia, I participated in a
number of mathematics competitions and belonged to a math club that met in the evenings. Eventually, in
the fourth grade, I earned a full scholarship to the Hunter Academy, a prestigious school in Moscow that
specialized in mathematics.
When my family moved to the United States five years ago, it became harder for me to pursue my
mathematical interests. Despite my passion for numbers, my English was poor and my parents lacked the
financial resources to enroll me in a private school. Nevertheless, I led my school for three years in the
AHSME competition, making it to the AIME round in my freshman year. Last year, I participated in an
American mathematical talent search competition, where I placed third on the national level. The
coordinator invited me to attend their summer Young Scholars Program, where I learned to develop my
problem solving skills. Finally, this year, I organized a Mathletes team to compete in local and regional
competitions.
In hindsight, my passion for mathematics was a great help in adjusting to my new culture. Lacking
conversational fluency in English, I felt uncomfortable in my history and government classes, which required
a working knowledge of the language. In math class, however, I was was immersed in the universal
language of numbers, in which I have always been fluent. By participating in the AHSME competition, I
surrounded myself with other kindred souls, ie geeks, who share my love of all things quantitative. With each
new achievement in math, I feel a closer bond with my mother, whose talent in the field is unsurpassed.
Thanks to the generosity of my parents, I have also been able to nurture my love of computers. In 2003, we
actually bought a computer before we bought our second car. After teaching myself several programming
languages, including Pascal, C, and C++, I was invited to attend Cornell University's Center for Talented
Youth program, where I completed a course entitled Data Structures and Algorithms. And last year, as a
member of the Engineering Club, I used my knowledge of computers and programming to help design a
Programmable Logic Controller.
When my family decided to move here in 1999, I was wary of the many obstacles that would accompany an
international move. As a shy, thirteen-year-old teenager, I did not understand the many ways that moving to
America would enhance my life. To an outsider, the primary benefits to immigrants are the nation's unlimited
professional and educational opportunities. Yet the greatest benefits of moving here from Russia have been
deeply personal. As an international citizen, I have gained a tremendous respect for other cultures,
backgrounds and preferences. Although my accent occasionally elicits ignorant remarks, having a
multicultural background had overwhelmingly positive effect on my life. By assimilating into a melting pot, I
opened my mind to new possibilities and developed friendships that transcend racial, cultural and religious
lines. I am eager to pursue my undergraduate degree at Harvard, whose diverse population sparks a level
of creativity that cannot exist in a cultural vacuum.
This student was accepted at Stanford University and Yale University.
In September of 2003, I boarded a plane that took me from my home in New York City to the outskirts of
Itabuna, Brazil. My parents had always wanted to take our family abroad, so when my father accepted a one-
year assignment with the South American Wildlife Federation, we were on our way to an exotic year in the
Amazon.
Even from the start, I had few reservations about living abroad. Seeing the value of this once-in-a-lifetime
experience, I was determined to learn all I could about the language, the history, and the people of this far-
off place. During the first few months of our stay, my family took various trips around the country. We toured
ancient cathedrals in Salvador and sunbathed in the pristine beaches in Ilheus. While navigating the
Amazon River, we watched wild animals migrate across the lush rain forest, completely oblivious to our
presence. During our relaxing long weekends swimming, hiking and sunbathing, we marveled at the natural
beauty that Brazil had to offer.
Everything changed in late December, when my uncle came to visit for a month. He romanced us with
stories of his experiences in rural Brazil working in the Peace Corps. The sharp contrast between the simple
lifestyle he described and the one I was leading showed me how un-Brazilian my adventure really was.
Although I was in a foreign country, I attended an American-run, English-speaking school that was populated
by mostly European and Asian students. Our thriving section of Itabuna had numerous shopping malls,
ethnic restaurants and movie theaters that catered to our wealthy group of expatriates. Was this really the
true essence of the Amazon?
Upon reflection, I realized that my daily activities were almost the same as they were in the United States. I
typed my homework papers on a computer; I showered with hot water after soccer practice; I dined on
hamburgers, hot dogs and fried chicken. Thanks to my father's position, I was part of a tight-knit group of
expatriates who managed to retain all the luxuries of my American lifestyle. The problem was that I wasn't
really seeing Brazil or even native Brazilians. Before I left the country, I yearned to experience authentic
Brazilian culture without sacrificing my education.
My uncle's extended holiday trip provided the perfect solution. After talking it over with my parents, he
agreed to take me along for a two-week jaunt to deliver health care supplies to a family in rural Zanzibar.
We would travel by car to the remote mountainous location and sleep in the family's small clay hut. Although
the conditions sounded primitive, I was eager for a challenge. This excursion proved to be the most
rewarding ten days of my entire stay in Brazil. In that short period, I learned more about Brazilian culture
than I had in the previous three months.
On my very first day, I witnessed how hard Brazilian women were expected to work to maintain the
household. They had to cook the meals, get the milk, sweep the house, chop the firewood and take care of
the children. Although the men did some hunting, they mostly enjoyed a laid-back lifestyle. I also saw an
intense restlessness for change. When the men sat around the dinner table, they did not discuss the
weather or the latest village gossip. Instead, they debated the problems and merits of Brazil and what could
be done to improve their country. They voiced their apprehension about the government, their fear of
inflation and the deleterious effects of cocaine production in the region. They worried about the increasing
drug use among their nation's youth. Unwilling to accept defeat against their obstacles, these men were
hungry for the solutions that education and money could bring.
Despite the lack of amenities, I discovered that their primitive lifestyle was not necessarily a painful one.
People easily adjusted to a lack of running water, electricity, telephones and cars. Although their days were
filled with physical labor, their evenings were filled with the joy and companionship of their families and
friends. Each night in the village, we ate good food, the children played and the adults enjoyed lively
conversation. Although their lifestyle was vastly different from mine, we shared the common goals of
education, happiness and success.
After the New Year, when I returned to my parents' home in Itabuna, I realized that I had found what I was
looking for. Thanks to my two weeks in Zanzibar, I carried in my mind a vivid picture of rural Brazil, along
with the satisfaction of experiencing something beyond the American expatriate community.
This student was accepted at Cornell University, Johns-Hopkins University and Duke University.
After living in cities as diverse as Boston, Geneva and Paris, I am amazingly comfortable with diversity.
Ironically, my earliest lessons in acceptance and tolerance did not come from these cosmopolitan cities, but
from within my own household. My father, who is Chinese, and my mother, a Turk, have spent their entire
marriage trying to blend two cultures that are as different as sweet and sour. As their only child, I represent
a hybrid of their best traits, which were painstakingly nurtured in a multicultural urban environment.
The international school I attended in Paris opened up a world of new experiences for me. Although we had
fifty nationalities represented in the school, few students restricted their socializing to peers from their own
countries. At the Stafford School, a student was not judged by where he came from, but by the quality of his
character. Even when countries were at war with each another, the students from those countries did not
hesitate to hang out with their "enemies." Since many of the students were children of diplomats or high-
ranking government personnel, this indifference to nationalities and political squabbles was reassuring in
light of future global interdependence.
Furthermore, race was never an issue at Stafford, despite its subtle presence in the surrounding city.
Unfortunately, this particular lack of prejudice does not exist in America, and is one of the greatest hurdles I
must face when I return to attend college in the US. In retrospect, the Stafford School showed me a utopian
society that not only tolerated, but thrived on ethnic, religious and racial differences. Obviously, on some
level, I feel unprepared for the less accepting attitudes in America, where homogeneity reigns supreme. On
the other hand, I feel equipped, not only from my experiences, but also from my personal beliefs, to succeed
in the America of tomorrow, where diversity will be commonplace.
Throughout my multicultural upbringing, I have learned several skills that will help me cope with a vastly
changing population. My fluency in Spanish, French and German will be a tremendous asset to my future
career in international relations. Likewise, my open attitude toward those of different races and cultures will
enable me to judge people not on superficialities, but on the basis of their talent and character. I have also
learned to value the backgrounds, histories and cultures of those around me. When necessary, I am
prepared to confront racism in a positive way, to defuse the underlying tensions rather than incite them.
Although America has been called a melting pot, I prefer to think of it as a stir fry, where the diverse people
who are mixed together retain their original flavors.
This student was accepted at Syracuse University, Columbia University and Cornell University.
For many people, cooking is a nightly burden with few intrinsic rewards. When pressed for time, they are
happy to grab a hamburger at McDonalds or pop a frozen pizza into the oven. Yet, for many generations of
my family, cooking has provided a cherished social occasion to create and enjoy the most delectable dishes.
My passion for preparing gourmet meals stems from my fond memories of childhood dinners in my parents'
household in Budapest. Each Saturday morning, my mother asked for our input for Sunday dinner. We then
spent our weekend procuring fresh ingredients at the Farmer's Market, where the smell of fresh produce
permeated the air. After buying seasonal vegetables, we created delightful blends of international meals,
including Adana kebab (a Turkish regional specialty) and Hungarian zucchini pancakes. Although these
dishes took hours to prepare, once we sat down at the dinner table and began to discuss our day, the
memories of our hard work dissipated into animated chatter and laughter.
Aside from my appreciation for good food, I never gave cooking much thought until I moved to the United
States at age 14 to spend a year with my host family. My initial adjustment to a steady diet of "convenience
foods" was agonizing. Instead of the tasty dinners I enjoyed at my parents' home, we ate hamburgers, hot
dogs and an occasional ready-mix chili. Even worse, my host family's spice drawer was collecting dust and
their kitchen cabinets were filled with canned goods, which were a major taboo in my parents' home.
Although I occasionally enjoyed fast food, I was not fond of eating it on a daily basis. Fortunately, my host
family's busy lifestyle gave me the chance to show off my culinary skills. With my host mother's help, I took
the initiative to create nice home-cooked meals from different cultures. Ultimately, we both benefited from
this experience; while I learned how to prepare American specialties like apple pie and Thanksgiving turkey,
she learned how to make quick Feta Cheese pastries and a traditional shepherd's salad.
After graduating from high school, I attended the prestigious Le Cordon Bleu in London, where I combined
my passion for cooking with my love for the hospitality industry. By attending classes in Wine History and
Desserts Merchandising, I further sharpened my culinary knowledge and cooking skills. Thanks to my
creative flair, I quickly developed a reputation for being a whiz in the kitchen. While most of my peers
skimmed the necessary textbook chapters, I meticulously read the material and experimented with new
recipes. In my spare time, I followed the trends of my favorite television chefs and re-created their most
enticing concoctions.
Although I no longer work as a chef, cooking remains a major part of my life. Living in a culinary mecca like
New York, I am continually inspired to try new things. Whenever possible, I flaunt my skills by entertaining
my friends with themed dinner parties. Seeing their faces light up after taking their first bite out of one of my
dishes strengthens my belief that good times are always enhanced by good food.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Syracuse University, New York University and Cornell
University.
"Je deteste des Americains." The German woman at the cafe wrinkled her face in disgust as she complained
that her American customers were usually rude and disrespectful. Although she wasn't speaking to me, I
absorbed the pain of her stinging comments.
At the time, I had been living in Frankfurt, Germany for three years, where I attended an international school
that enrolled students from 30 different countries. I had already become fluent in French and German and
had become accustomed to my new culture, which I thought was rich in tolerance. Naturally, the women's
remarks were painful to hear. They also made me question my own behavior and perspective. Was I really
an "ugly American?" Did I have no appreciation for anything besides Sex & the City and MTV?
Without question, my three years in Germany changed my life in countless ways. From the minute I stepped
off the plane in Frankfurt, the vastly different sights along the roads and the smells of delicious German
cuisine told me that I was "not in Kansas anymore." My school also helped to modify my attitudes, as I found
myself studying with students from countries I had only read about. Although it was sometimes difficult to find
links between myself and my British, Zambian, or Chilean friends, I soon came to enjoy my new
environment. By the time I left, I wondered how I ever could survive the boredom of attending a
homogeneous institution.
My understanding of my new home was aided tremendously by my ability to speak French and German,
which were the best gifts I brought back from my stay in Europe. An entire year of school lessons could not
have taught me as much of the language as I learned form speaking with my friends, shopping in the local
stores, and taking music lessons at the local conservatory. My proficiency in French earned me a regular
spot on a nationally broadcast radio program, in which a Russian student and I discussed the tensions
between the major world powers. This was a rare opportunity to explore "hot topics" with someone my own
age who had first-hand knowledge about post-Cold War Russia. I had never before explored such a
controversial topic in such depth and passion.
Thanks to my three years in Germany, the United States will never seem the same to me. By immersing
myself into a dramatically different culture, I gained enough distance from America to view it more
objectively. In my quieter moments, I acknowledged my country's numerous faults, as well as its strengths.
Yet it still pained me to absorb the bristling remarks of the old German woman, who based her opinion on
the boorish behavior of a handful of American tourists. Like her, however, I was also appreciative of the
beauty and culture of Germany, which had provided me with a rich and stimulating adolescence.
ESSAY 1: Please cite and discuss a quotation, phrase, or statement that has had an influence on
your life.
This student was accepted at Dartmouth University and Bowdoin College.
In her haunting ballad, "Sailing through the Sorrow," Marissa Dodd escaped the tedium of daily life by "going
to a land of paradise." After hearing the song for the first time, I pondered the many different places that
people visit for comfort and reflection. Thoreau had Walden Pond, Caesar had his Forum and Buddha had
his Bo tree. And I, Raymond Velez, have the Valdosta Creek.
To escape the heat of Georgia's long summer days, I often sought refuge in the mysteries of the nearly
creek. Nearly fifty feet from our narrow backyard, it was hard to see from the road, and as far as I could tell,
I was its only visitor. From my perch on the water's edge, I sat beneath two large pine trees, which provided
refuge from the blistering sun. As I watched the ripples and currents, I noticed how the stones and pebbles
on the shallow bottom allowed the water to glide in creative patterns over their smooth surfaces. Larger,
moss covered rocks dotted the bank and provided ideal spots for an inquisitive child to watch and wonder.
By the creek, my mind was free to wander onto just about any topic. One day, while silently watching the
birds, I pretended I was one. As my body lay still, my imagination took flight; looking down on the creek
from the pale blue heavens, the wind whistled over my face and the sun warmed my body. I wondered how
the birds decided to land at this particular creek. Was it the availability of food? The solitude? l wondered if
they noticed me and if I was part of their attraction. By the time my eyes flickered open, it was time to go
home and finish my chores. I left my questions about the birds at the edge of the creek, which was the only
possible place to find answers.
The creek was also a frontier, as it extended farther into the depths of the woods than I had ever explored.
As I child, I thought that if I wandered too far into its darkness, I might be consumed by it and never be heard
from again. Gradually overcoming my fear, I embarked on expeditions and drafted extensive maps using my
father's old compass. By the time I was fifteen, I had followed the Valdosta Creek for six miles, nearly all the
way to Meigs. Clearly, as my body grew in height and weight, my boundaries had also expanded.
By the time I was a teenager, the creek that was once a wondrous expedition for me was simply a narrow
barrier between my house and a sprawling new housing development. As our community grew, one of the
costs of progress was the tiny wooded area that had served as a "land of paradise" throughout my early
summer days. Fortunately, by the time I was forced to leave the creek behind, I had found other quiet
places to meditate and explore. Yet the Valdosta Creek will always be special; whatever stream, river, or
ocean I wade, I will cherish its tranquil lessons.
your life.
This student was accepted at Princeton University, Dartmouth University and Yale University.
Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of
events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation. - Robert F. Kennedy
On the first day of school, I cringed when I discovered that I had been assigned to Dr. Wyatt's section of
American History. I had already heard about him from my older sister and her friends; the man was a
heartless tyrant who assigned way too much homework and who rarely gave out A grades in his A.P.
courses. Although I was eager to learn, I felt sucker-punched by the idea of trying to meet his unrealistic
expectations.
In hindsight, being assigned to Dr. Wyatt's course was the defining point in my high school career. Granted,
he made me work hard, but he also taught me how to think independently and to put world events into their
proper perspective. From the outset, he took an aggressive stance in discussing twentieth-century politics.
To keep us from gravitating towards empty categories like liberal or conservative, he encouraged us to
thoroughly discuss each separate issue before we took a stand on it. Imagine my surprise when I, the
daughter of two very conservative parents, discovered that I had strong liberal tendencies! I cherished the
opportunity to discuss relevant topics with someone whose goal was not to convert me to his position, but to
help me clarify my own. Thanks to Dr. Wyatt, I have become a more responsible and informed citizen.
Dr. Wyatt also taught us how to make sense out of history by evaluating the personal motives behind a given
chain of historical events. In his class, I came to the realization that history isn't just a series of names and
dates in a textbook, but a more complex subject that requires deep thought and analysis for full
comprehension. Upon further discussion, I was forced to acknowledge that some of the "best" US
Presidents made the "right" choices at the wrong times, which came to be viewed as failures. Other times,
by taking the "safe" road, our leaders saved themselves from humiliation, but left the country vulnerable to
preventable risks. Only in hindsight can we say with any degree of certainty that any given event (or
President) was good or bad, and even then, the perception may not be unanimous. What some Americans
view as a victory, others see as a heartless betrayal.
Dr. Wyatt's greatest lesson to me was demonstrating my own role in the evolution of American history and
politics. As a US citizen, I have a responsibility to be aware of the issues affecting our country and to do my
part to champion them. Although one person can not single-handedly change the world, (s)he can certainly
raise awareness and promote discussion about the needs in his/her community. Every major change in
American culture began with the grassroots efforts of a single person who thought he world could be a better
place. It is my job, as an educated American, to create the change that I believe is necessary. Thank you,
Dr. Wyatt, for letting me know that it is possible.
your life.
This student was accepted at Duke University, Temple University and the University of Connecticut.
"That which torments and delights my soul is also the hunger of my belly." At the risk of sounding
pretentious, I share Nietzsche's dilemma about my own passions. As my interests have blossomed and
deepened over the years, I struggle to find the time to do them justice.
As one of twelve Florida students on last year's state science team, I competed in individual and group
competitions against top students from across the country. My individual project entry was my investigation
into chaos theory, a relatively new branch of mathematics made possible by the power of computers. Chaos
has recently become popular for its fractal images, which I first observed as an eight-grade science student.
In 2003, through purely serendipitous research, I discovered a new strange attractor at a time when only a
dozen or so were known. Since then, I have continued my research into developing a general classification
system for strange attractors, including a new computer program that generates thousands of new attractors
per hour. This research won first place at the 2004 Westinghouse Science Fair.
Last fall, I decided to flex my political skills by drafting a new constitution for student government. The loss
of three student council members over the summer had left the remaining members overwhelmed and
ineffective. When asked to run for an ad-hoc council seat, I gladly threw my hat into the ring. After winning
the election, my first job was designing a political structure to revitalize the procedures and spirit of student
government to meet the student body's needs. Through a series of formal and informal meetings, I identified
the best way to match the council's resources with the students' expectations. As a result, the revised
constitution more clearly delineates the role of student government on campus.
Academically, I have recently become immersed in philosophy, including the metaphysical explorations of
the nature of existence. Although the study is time-consuming and tedious, it is well worth the benefits in
terms of personal growth. For the past year, I have been the youngest participant in the Florida Humanities
Forum, a program that offers weekly classes taught by philosophy professors from the University of Florida.
Through our spirited discussions about life's hardest questions, I have discovered that I may need to live an
extra lifetime to try to answer them.
During the past month, I have focused my time and attention on completing my applications for college.
Discussing the process with friends and family inevitably invites the questions, "What will be your major?"
and "What do you want to do with your life?" Thanks to my deep passions for areas as diverse as science,
government and philosophy, I am not yet ready to provide a definitive answer. Like Nietzsche, I need
adequate time to explore the nuances of the several fascinating fields that simultaneously "torment and
delight my soul." I am eager to embrace the college experience as a way to satisfy my hunger for each
delectable endeavor.
your life.
This student was accepted at Harvard University and Dartmouth University.
I have never known any distress that an hour's reading did not relieve. - Montesquieu
My first beloved books were the Disney Encyclopedia volumes. At age four, I wasn't old enough to read
them, but I always wanted to have them read to me. In fact, I memorized the ten- volume set, so that when
my parents skipped pages, I jumped in and recited the missing passages. After learning to read on my own,
my favorite book became the anatomy volume in the Sesame Street Library. Courtesy of a mail-order book
offer, I was the only first grader who knew what a placenta was. As I grew older, I continued to read mostly
because it taught me so much more than what I learned in school.
Since grade school, my extensive reading also sparked my interest in science. Living within walking
distance of the library, I went there every day, dabbling in a different book during each visit. By the fourth
grade, I had read all the chemistry books containing fewer than 300 pages; by the sixth grade had I
mastered Einstein's Theory of Relativity. During that time period, I became so interested in biology through
Science magazine that I sold cookies door-to-door to raise money for a microscope.
As early as third grade, reading also helped me in school. When asked to complete independent reading
for extra credit, I was determined to earn more stars than anyone else in the class. The rules were fairly
straightforward; every sixty pages counted for one star of credit, and fifteen stars would yield an "A" grade.
With my love of books, I quickly seized my chance to shine. Rather than reading many short books, I
devoured 300-page sagas by Laura Ingalls Wilder. When everyone else got 18 stars, the little tag with my
name on it had over 50. This inner drive and competition still motivates my work today, but unfortunately, my
teachers no longer give out stars.
Yet my most satisfying experiences tend to occur outside of school when I don't "have" to read. If left to my
own devices, I will devour at least one or two pleasure books per weekend, from genres as diverse as
French cooking to true crime novels. Through this informal exploration, I've discovered that books are
powerful teachers. Nonfiction titles have quenched my curiosity about political issues and have exposed me
to a host of ideas and information. Novels, on the other hand, have given me a deeper understanding about
the past, including the struggles of new immigrants to 19th-century labor unions. In the pages of books, I
have found myself in northern Africa witnessing unimaginable female "rites of passage." Other times, I have
toured strip mines in Nevada, and I have been shown the evil in the Nazi concentration camps.
Ironically, my family often worries about my selections, preferring that I limit my choices to "happy" books
that will inspire "feel good" moments and improve my self-esteem. To me, that is like moving to a city and
avoiding the "bad" parts of town. Despite our best efforts to build perfect lives, troubled situations exist, even
if they don't directly touch our neighborhoods or our lives. Books can introduce us to them, provide a
torchlight, and guide us to understand another reality, both the beautiful and the ugly. They can inspire
passionate debate among friends, knock us out of our television-induced stupor, and propel us into
responsible action. What better way could I spend my spare time?
your life.
This student was accepted at Harvard University, Carnegie Mellon University and Yale University.
"No matter what you do, you must be the best." From my earliest memory, my parents always encouraged
me to excel at school and sports. As the child of two immigrants who came to the US with nothing, I was
constantly reminded of the many opportunities available to me in America. All I had to do was earn them.
Even though my parents lacked an education, they demonstrated this value to me through their commitment
to their jobs, family and community. By being the best possible parents, neighbors, workers and citizens,
they set an impressive example to follow in all aspects of life. On the outside, we were probably identical to
many other Cuban-American families in Bensonhurst. Yet, thanks to my parents, we enjoy an optimism and
success that belied our modest appearance. In hindsight, the pride, dedication, and hard-working attitude
that is the cornerstone to my success was lovingly instilled in my by my close-knit Cuban-American family.
For my parents, "being the best" meant leaving the security of their native land to pursue a tenuous future in
America. Without knowing a word of English, they came to Brooklyn in 1988 and began their steady
progression from blue-collar factory workers to successful owners of their own dry cleaning business. By
pursuing their dream, they learned how to obstacles relating to language, money and racial discrimination.
By handling these problems with tact and skill, they taught me to be proud of what I do and to never assume
that my work was trivial. Even seemingly useless tasks must be done correctly.
As a student and athlete, this inner drive continues to motivates my actions. It forced me to try hard in school
although I didn't know a word of English. It encouraged me to stick with the soccer team even though I was
one of the smallest boys on the field. By giving my best and sticking through the hard times, I developed my
skills as a student and an athlete and became a campus leader. There is no doubt in my mind that I will
succeed in my chosen profession as well.
Thanks to my father's mantra, I have the optimism to survive whatever difficulties life hands me. I see
opportunity where others see hard work. I see obstacles as an sign that I need to be creative. I also know
that sometimes "being the best" simply means hanging in there until the dark clouds have passed. Thanks
to my father's example, I am prepared to be a leader.
1. Bad Grades
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Columbia University and the University of Chicago.
When evaluating my application, I hope the committee will take into consideration my difficult adjustment to
the United States. I moved to San Francisco at age fifteen, not knowing a word of English. My salvation
was the schools bilingual education program, where I learned how to speak and write English, in addition to
perfecting my fluency in Mandarin Chinese. With the tireless support of the faculty, I plunged into my new
life in America, determined to embrace the many opportunities that were unavailable in my native Beijing.
Unfortunately, the language barrier prevented me from competing successfully with other students who were
native speakers of English. Although I worked incredibly hard, my grades were primarily Bs and Cs, rather
than the As I desired. Fortunately, as my English improved, so did my grades. By senior year, I was in the
top 10% of my class, and won first place in the Westinghouse science competition. I also was elected as
captain of Warren High School's nationally acclaimed debate team.
Throughout my life, I have become deeply appreciative of the opportunities I have reaped by living in
America. Yet my struggle to perfect the English language is most certainly reflected in my grades. When
evaluating my application, I hope the committee will look beyond my grade point average and consider the
tremendous efforts behind them. In addition to learning a new language, I adjusted to a new culture and
carved out my own unique set of values and goals. This maturity will be an asset to your school and will
make me a more competent and empathetic professional. I chose Yale University both for its academic
reputation and for its commitment to enrolling an international student body that is tolerant of diversity. I am
eager to take my place on campus and make a positive contribution to the world. America has given me so
much; I am eager to give back the fruits of my academic labor.
2. Bad Grades
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University and Georgetown University.
Although my recent academic performance is excellent, I wasn't always able to devote my complete energy
to my schoolwork. I was enrolled in the American International University during the collapse of the
Colombian government, when the country underwent unprecedented economic turmoil and uncertainty. In a
short period of time, my country experienced hyperinflation, rampant unemployment and a dramatic increase
in violent crime. My family and I lost our life savings, including our family business. Rather than focusing on
school, I found myself struggling to survive.
Looking back, I am proud that I was able to balance my schoolwork with a full-time job at a restaurant. I did
everything possible to ensure my family's survival during an extremely difficult time. Yet the stress of the
economic overhaul made it impossible to concentrate on my studies. Many days, rather than preparing for
exams, I stood in long lines to buy food. My grades from the American International University reflect the
stress of these dire circumstances, rather than my actual ability.
Fortunately, they also show that I am a survivor. Rather than simply giving up, the tumultuous situation
forced me to re-evaluate my beliefs, aspirations and plans. Although my grades suffered, the experience
clarified my goals, challenged my time-management skills and provided the strength to overcome future
obstacles. I am a survivor. What better strengths to bring to a career in medicine?
3. Bad Grades
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Northwestern University and the University of
Chicago.
As the child of an American soldier and Iraqi mother, I was raised by my maternal grandparents in the harsh
conditions of post-Gulf War Iraq. At age six, I was diagnosed with rheumatic fever, which required a level
of medical intervention that was unavailable in Iraq. My diseased heart grew progressively worse,
eventually interfering with my normal activities.
Through the assistance of Doctors Without Borders, I came to the United States for medical treatment in
1998. Although the American doctors successfully replaced my mitral valve, my adjustment to the American
educational system proved to be as challenging as my medical problems. In addition to my poor English
skills, I was unaccustomed to learning in a classroom setting. Throughout my childhood in Iraq, I had been
sporadically tutored at home, but had never attended school. I found the formal education system in
America to be physically and emotionally overwhelming.
Fortunately, I was up to the challenge. With the help of my father's family, I hired tutors in English, math and
reading and quickly raised my grades to an acceptable level. During my junior year in high school, I
maintained a 3.5 GPA, despite serious complications with my valve replacement. After working so hard to
assimilate into my new school, I refused to let anything stop me from graduating with honors.
Although my GPA isn't the best, I cannot in good conscience blame my illness. After all, the same heart
condition that nearly killed me also brought me to my wonderful new life in America. Through painful
experience, I have learned to accept life's blessings along with its challenges. My illness brought me closer
to my father's family, who welcomed me into their lives. My illness also forced me to rely on an internal
compass that I didn't know I had. I developed patience and perseverance by continuing to attend school. I
became less focused on my own feelings and more appreciative of others. I also developed a tolerance for
change, which has been a constant in my life. Although I recovered from my disastrous childhood in Iraq, I
will retain its many lessons for the rest of my life.
4. Bad Grades
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania.
My GPA was nearly perfect until I suffered a severe leg injury during my junior year of high school. While
driving home from my job at Pizza Hut, I spun out of control on a patch of ice and injured my right leg.
Fortunately, fate spared me from permanent physical damage, but not from excruciating pain. In that split
second collision, I broke four bones and needed extensive surgery to repair them. I also needed physical
therapy to rebuild the damaged tendons.
During my two months in rehab, my focus was on recovery rather than schoolwork. Although I established a
good rapport with my tutor, I couldn't concentrate on my assignments. During the first few weeks, I struggled
with every minor detail of my hospitalization. I went from being a jock to a helpless patient who needed help
going to the bathroom. It wasn't pretty. Thanks to the exceptional doctors, nurses and counselors on staff, I
managed to get past my initial anger and complete my rehab in just nine weeks.
Unfortunately, the emotional effects of the accident lingered well into my senior year. Because of the
residual damage to my leg, I could no longer play football, which had a been a huge source of enjoyment
and pride. My concentration deficit was also troubling. During fall semester, I struggled with a heavy course
load, including AP classes in Calculus and Physics. Rather than take a reduced load, I opted to simply do
my best and hope that my concentration would improve. Although it eventually did, my GPA paid a heavy
price. I hope the university will understand.
Two teachers (Drs. Davis and Hanson), along with my rehab specialist (Dr. White) have provided reference
letters to document my struggles after the accident. I offer their letters not as an excuse, but as evidence of
the powerful support I needed to recover my mobility and graduate with my class. Several friends and
advisors suggested that I should take a year off to fully recover. Looking back, that option would probably
have enabled me to get better grades. Yet I am proud to graduate with my class. The accident was a
setback, but not a fatal one.
If given a chance, I will bring my dedication and tenacity to all of my endeavors on campus. I am back in the
game and ready to show you what I can do.
5. Bad Grades
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Harvard University, Columbia University and the
University of Chicago.
In 1989, my family came to the United States from Iran, seeking the same freedom and opportunity
as other immigrants. As conservative Muslims, my parents adhered to the Islamic religion, in which women
assume a subordinate role. As expected, they angrily dismissed my interest in college as a temporary
phase, yet I was determined to embrace my right to an education. Despite their threat to disown me, I
enrolled in Northwestern University, which was seventy-five miles from home. My parents refused to offer
any type of financial support. Even with my income from a part-time job, I often lacked the money to pay for
my daily train ride to campus. But I refused to give up.
My strength was further tested when my father had a heart attack, which left him unable to work.
My mother and I became the family breadwinners, adding another obstacle to my struggle for an education.
I still refused to give up. I worked nights in a restaurant and rushed to college each morning, studying on the
train and in my free time between classes. Eventually, the stress of going to school and maintaining a full-
time job took a huge toll on my physical and emotional strength. I was constantly exhausted and my grades
were mediocre. What kept me on track was my dream of going to law school.
Depending on how you look at it, my family's lack of support was either a blessing or a curse.
Throughout college, I often envied my peers, whose family encouragement and stability enabled them to
excel in their classes. Yet by surviving without my family's financial or emotional support, I became strong
and self-motivated. I quickly became an expert at managing my money and time, which enabled me to
survive challenges that others could not. My perseverance has made me a role model to other young
women in the Muslim-American community.
I hope the admissions committee will acknowledge the strength I developed to overcome my unique
obstacles as a Muslim female immigrant. Despite their intensity, my life experiences enabled me to develop
the persistence and mental preparation to excel at any endeavor. After overcoming severe obstacles to get
my degree, I am confident that I can handle whatever barriers the future may hold.
1. Poor Test Scores
This applicant was accepted by the following business schools: the University of Pennsylvania and the
Despite my best efforts, I have been unable to achieve the exceptional SAT scores that are expected at a
school of XXXXX's caliber. Over the Christmas holidays, I took an extensive SAT prep course, along with
private tutoring sessions with a faculty member. Even with personal coaching, I have been unable to
exceed a cumulative score of 1300. I am frustrated by these poor results, as they clearly do not reflect the
academic excellence I have consistently displayed in the classroom.
Despite my difficulty with the SAT, I am convinced that I am an excellent candidate for your program. Over
the past decade, I have developed myriad practical skills that cannot be assessed by standardized testing. I
am fluent in four languages and a successful violinist in a professional orchestra. Between 1999 and 2003, I
traveled all over the world with the Vienna Boys Choir. Clearly, my SAT scores do not accurately reflect my
fluency in English or my proficiency in music, which is my intended major.
Although I respect your use of the SAT as a screening tool, I hope that you will consider the "full picture" of
my academic, professional and cross-cultural training in making your final admissions decision. I have
worked very hard to achieve aggressive professional goals, and I will bring a wealth of practical experience
to the classroom. If given the opportunity, I will be a tremendous asset to XXXXX.
2. Poor Test Scores
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Harvard University, University of Pennsylvania and
Northwestern University.
Like many foreigners raised in the United States, I often felt like a fish out of water. My parents moved to the
US when I was fifteen, subjecting me to a huge cultural change that would subsequently define my
childhood. My hardest adjustments were with language. Nothing was as difficult as having to learn English
with little academic support. The school department in Raleigh had no facilities for ESL (English as a
Second Language), so I learned English by working with an old set of Berlitz language tapes. It was not
easy. My initial attempts at conversation were particularly frustrating. I could visually "see" the word I
needed in my mind, but I could not verbalize it. Verb conjugation was a nightmare (sing, sang, sung) as
were similar sounding words (to, two, too). Throughout high school, mastering English has been my
greatest challenge.
Although I have excelled in my coursework, I still have serious difficulties with the language portion of most
standardized tests. Consequently, my performance on the verbal portion of the SAT is not nearly as high as
I had hoped. To compensate for this deficiency, I am taking elective classes in speech and writing at
Brandeis University. I also volunteer as a language tutor for new students from South America.
As a future executive, I want to express myself with confidence, both verbally and in writing. I look forward to
developing these skills at Harvard, where I will embrace every opportunity to write papers and speak in front
of an audience. I am certain that I will succeed. While navigating the difficult transition from Costa Rica to
the US, I developed the confidence to weather even the hardest storms.
3. Poor Test Scores
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University, Duke University and Johns-Hopkins University.
As a primary care physician, my father devoted his life to running a free clinic in rural Alabama. As a
consequence, my only educational resource was a chronically under-funded public school system. Unlike
affluent cities, my hometown did not provide a comprehensive liberal arts background for students with
higher educational aspirations. Consequently, I was not able to take classes in art, music, psychology or the
physical sciences.
Although my grades are excellent, I still have difficulty taking standardized tests. Nevertheless, I have done
everything possible to improve my SAT score, including individualized tutoring in all sections of the exam.
After three tries, I finally raised my score to the 65% percentile, which does not reflect my true academic
potential; the mediocre scores are an unfortunate byproduct of my poor high school education.
When reviewing my application, I hope the committee will view my disappointing SAT score in the context of
an otherwise exemplary life. Since age sixteen, I have dedicated my life to becoming a doctor; I have
completed the most rigorous classes available, volunteered at three hospitals and become a highly visible
public health advocate in my community. My reference letters will certainly attest to the sincerity of my
motivation and drive. I can't imagine a more fulfilling career than medicine and I will do everything possible
to bring honor to the profession.
Despite its poor educational system, I hope to return to my hometown after I complete college and medical
school. Living in a rural area gave me an appreciation of the dire need for dedicated physicians in poor,
underserved communities. Through my participation in PPP I and II (Professional Preparation Program), I
discovered both the challenges and joys of primary health care. Following medical school, I will use my
education to develop and implement the comprehensive health care program that my hometown richly
deserves.
4. Poor Test Scores
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Harvard University, Columbia University and the
Throughout high school, I attained a 3.9 GPA without special accommodations for my learning disabilities
(dyslexia and ADHD). By employing hard work, dedication and effective study techniques, I achieved
excellent grades under the same testing conditions as my peers. For philosophical reasons, I chose not to
inform my teachers of my "special needs." Despite the underlying challenges, I opted to keep the focus on
my talents, not my limitations.
Few people supported my position, including my parents and family doctor. In fact, they unanimously agreed
that my efforts to compete with "normal" students were doomed to fail. Yet my decision ultimately provided a
wonderful sense of empowerment. By thriving academically, I confirmed my ability to succeed in difficult
situations, which inspired my commitment to other aspects of personal growth. Contrary to what my high
school guidance counselor told me, there isn't anything I can't do.
In the same vein, I am justifiably proud of my "average" SAT score (1200), which I also achieved without
special testing accommodations. Although it may not seem particularly impressive, it proves that I can
perform at parity with other candidates under extremely stressful circumstances. After all, after graduation, I
will be expected to demonstrate the same skills as my peers. Why not start now?
5. Poor Test Scores
This applicant was accepted by the following law schools: Columbia University and the University of
Pennsylvania.
With high academic aspirations, I prepared diligently for the December 2003 SAT, knowing that the results
would play a major role in determining where I would obtain my college education. After months of drills,
mock tests and classroom preparation, I knew that I was well prepared to tackle the marathon exam. As the
test day approached, I was eager to show what I could do.
Six days before the exam, I was rushed to the emergency room at Southland Community Hospital with the
most excruciating pain of my life. Preliminary results showed an inflamed, inordinately distended appendix
that required immediate removal. Following surgery on December 1 (see attached note from my attending
physician), I recovered at the hospital for three days and returned home on Thursday, December 5.
Considering my four-inch incision, my doctor recommended complete bed rest for at least five weeks.
With the SAT scheduled for Saturday, December 7, I found myself in an unenviable position. Although my
surgery was certainly a justifiable reason for missing the test, the December testing date was the last one to
qualify for 2004 admission. If I missed the December test, my enrollment in college would be delayed by an
entire year. At the time, it seemed like an eternity.
Determined to enroll in the Fall of 2004, I simply refused to miss that test. Against everyone's advice, my
brother drove me to the testing site on Saturday morning and waited for me nervously in the car. I could
barely stand up, much less concentrate on complex reasoning problems. Yet I survived the test, even
forgoing my prescribed painkillers for the afternoon. I was hurting, exhausted and sore beyond belief, but I
completed the test. My final scores (1340) are respectable, but certainly not what I expected.
As I complete my application, I am fully recovered from my surgery and eager to begin my college education.
Yet my low SAT score haunts me, not just by its mediocrity, but because of the unusual circumstances
surrounding the test. Throughout my academic career, I have worked diligently to distinguish myself as a
versatile, intelligent young man who is well-suited for the legal profession. My grades, work experiences and
personal references all support my honorable intentions and goals. Clearly, my SAT score is not reflective of
my academic potential, but of the extenuating circumstances I faced on testing day. I hope the committee
will consider this as a mitigating factor when making their admission decision.
1) Discuss Your Most Notable Achievements
This student was accepted at Syracuse University, the University of Pennsylvania and Northwestern
University.
I'm tempted to take a safe route to answering this question and discuss my academic achievements at
Carson High School. Academia has always been easy for me and I've enjoyed success in most of my
classes, particularly in math and science. Subjects that are often hard for others come easily for me and I've
enjoyed lab work, field work and tutoring. I'm the stereotypical bookworm who memorizes logarithmic tables
and carries a pocket protector.
It's actually been more of an achievement for me to succeed at something outside the classroom, where I
am often not as comfortable. I'm most proud of my accomplishments as a volunteer for the Shawnee
Mission Summer Camp. I've volunteered there every summer since I was 14 as a counselor and activities
coordinator. It was my originally mother's idea for me to become a volunteer. I didn't have any classes that
summer and she thought it was a great opportunity for me to get outside and meet people my own age.
She probably was tired of seeing me spend 12 hours a day in front of my computer when I could have been
having some fun at the beach or park. She kept mentioning something about "needing balance" and I knew
she really wanted me to do it.
I agreed to volunteer, but I was cautious about what I had to offer. The Shawnee Mission program is for
disabled and other "special needs" children who need physical activity and recreational services year-round.
Most of the participants have Down's Syndrome, although a few have Cerebral Palsy, spina bifida, MS and
other degenerative diseases. It's an eclectic group of 30 children from 6 -18 who gather each summer to
learn how to swim, camp, ride bicycles, hike and attend social functions. It's a nice contrast to their
academic classes and physical therapy.
I arrived for my first day of training totally unprepared for the responsibility. I was assigned a group of 6 little
boys to take swimming at the pool. Yikes! While I'm a good swimmer, I am an only child and haven't spent
much time around young children. I didn't realize that all of my charges would need assistance in completing
the most basic tasks. They needed me to open doors for them, move them onto and off their wheelchairs
and to negotiate stairs. I also needed to help them get into and out of their swimsuits. I almost panicked
trying to help a 10-year-old boy named Eric, who just needed my help walking down three stairs. I nearly
froze, as I was scared to death I would cause him to fall. Fortunately he didn't, and he was relaxed and
excited as I was nervous. Looking back on that first day, it's safe to say that we spent over two hours getting
into and out of the locker room and only fifteen minutes time in the pool. I was exhausted.
I dreaded going back the second day, but I had made a commitment to help these kids and I knew that I had
to honor it. Imagine my surprise when all 6 of my assigned kids surrounded me with glee the minute they
saw me arrive on the bus. They were all so excited about repeating the previous day's fun that they didn't
notice my fear. In fact, their sweet, honest smiles started to melt it. We repeated the previous day's
activities and it went a little smoother. Nobody fell, nobody cried and nobody noticed that I put Eric's
swimsuit on inside out.
As the summer wore on, I became much more relaxed around my fun-loving group of six. I originally feared
that we'd have nothing to talk about, being the diehard academic machine that I was. But I really sold this
group short. While they didn't discuss quantum physics with me, they made candid and uncannily accurate
observations about everything and everyone they knew. They also shared personal revelations about
themselves. I learned about their families and hometowns and the teachers they loved. I learned about their
passions and interests and hopes for the future. And I was honored to be Eric's official childhood crush,
although I sweetly declined his proposal of marriage.
When the summer session ended, I felt like a new person. I hadn't read or studied anything all summer, yet I
felt that I had learned something that would fundamentally change my life. I had made real friends who
cherished me for what I was inside and not for my achievements and potential. It warmed my heart in ways I
never dreamed possible. I carried the changes with me when I returned to school that fall. While I still
attacked my classes with gusto, I no longer talked or cared only about school. I began to crave more
personal interaction and saw my fellow students as potential friends. I must have dropped my guard,
because I found myself loosening up more in classes and engaging in light-hearted banter. I wasn't self-
conscious when I gave the wrong answer or made a mistake in class. I had more patience with people, too,
and extended myself when I thought I could be helpful. This was a huge accomplishment for someone who
had been a shy bookworm with impossibly high standards!
The following summer brought many changes to my life and more social opportunities than I could have
imagined. While I was still a computer buff, it was only one of several interests competing for my time. I
had my first boyfriend and a few close friends from school. My mother wondered if they would dominate my
summer with the usual teen fare of beach, movies and fast-food. Not to worry. I was committed to spending
my summer primarily with my 6 best friends, the ones who I had spent my previous fun summer with. The
friends who taught me that being smart isn't about grades, being disabled isn't about physical limitations and
that being a friend means loosening up and helping someone other than yourself. Eric and his gang taught
me how to be a real friend and how to have real fun, which is something no science or math book could ever
teach.
2) Discuss Your Most Notable Achievements
This applicant was accepted by Stanford University, Princeton University and Dartmouth University.
When I reflect upon the events of June 11, 2004, I relive the day's emotions: my palms sweat, my
heart accelerates, and all of the moisture seeps from my mouth. As my parents checked us onto Flight 311,
I watched the people bustling around me, shoving through lines and scurrying toward their gates. Their
grinning faces were a startling contrast to my youthful trepidation. Unlike my fellow travelers, I perceived my
ticket as a one way ticket to solitude. As the days with my family flew by, I clung to my mother like a dieter to
a doughnut, not wanting her to vanish. Yet, like the doughnut, the comforting sweetness eventually melted
away. Alone in New York, I felt invisible in my unfamiliar surroundings.
A friendly child, I developed an increasing sense of shyness with each new change in school. My
group in high school served as a comfort zone that I could not imagine living without. Moping in my dorm
room, I began to nag at myself, What were you thinking, flying across the country to spend the summer at
Columbia alone? You dont even know how to do laundry! I was ready to cry when a sudden kick of
determination steeled my spine. I will make this a good experience. My summer would not be hindered by
something as trivial as shyness.
Buoyed by my newfound determination, I left my room and immediately caught sight of two girls.
Sending up a quick prayer to God, I sauntered up behind them and hesitantly spouted, Hi, Im Alicia! Im
heading to the Student Unionwanna come? As my jumbled invitation registered in their minds, my anxiety
heightened. Just as I was about to flee, the redhead replied with an accepting grin, Yeah, that would be fun.
My names Kelly and this is my roommate Lea. That one simple statement was my Fountain of Youth,
restoring my childhood confidence. In a split second, my anxiety melted away and I began to enjoy my new
friends.
Fun summer experiences quickly filled my memory bank: sitting in an icebox lecture hall clutching a
warm spiced chai while frantically recording Professor Salzbergs words of wisdom; giggling endlessly with
Lea, Kelly and Jessie at Baskin Robbinss while devouring hip-expanding brownie bowls; dissecting a rat as
my lab partner cowered nearby; and cleverly sneaking Starbuck's iced coffee into the library, only to discover
that the cloud-like chairs counteract the caffeines effect. Thousands of moments eventually culminated in a
depressing scene: me, standing dejected at Kennedy Airports security checkpoint. Ironically, the eyes that
once cried for my parents were now puffy from missing my friends.
Throughout my windy cab ride, I bid a bittersweet goodbye to my summer home. Riddled with
sadness, I tripped over my own feet and spilled the contents of my oversized purse. As I stared blankly at
the mess before me, empathetic onlookers quickly came to help. The contents on the ground reflected my
dejected spirit: out of order, torn into pieces. When I reflect upon my emotional goodbye, I wonder how
different this summer would have been had I not taken Flight 311 to New York. Without a doubt, my
momentary embarrassment at the airport was a small price to pay for my cherished summer memories at
Columbia.
3) Discuss your Most Notable Achievements

This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, the University of Pennsylvania and Cornell University.
While I'm young to be summarizing my life achievements, my most notable one to date was surviving the
1996 National Junior Olympics. I've been a runner since junior high school and quickly discovered it was my
passion. I'm strictly a speed demon, lacking the diversified talents to jump hurdles, throw a shot put or run
an obstacle course. My track coach, Mr. Grayson, decided it was better to just let me run, amazed that I did
it faster and steadier than the other 12-14 year olds in my school.
Prior to 1996, I had competed only in local and regional track meets. I always did well, either winning or
placing second in the 440 and 880 meter runs. I was delighted when my coach announced that I had
qualified for the regional finals for the National Junior Olympics. Mr. Grayson beamed when he gave me the
news. He had competed in the same events in the 1974 competition and thought it was the highlight of his
life. He always hoped to sponsor a student in the event, but he knew it wasn't likely. With a study body of
just 300, the odds of finding a short-distance sprinter were slim. Yet Mr. Grayson and I miraculously found
each other.
He helped me train every day after school, offering different training techniques to improve my speed and
stamina. I appreciated the one-on-one coaching and really started to want to win. Up until then, I had been
so intimidated by the Olympic experience that I didn't dare consider my chances. I faced formidable
competition in the race, including a previous national finalist from the previous year. Somehow, though, I
suddenly dismissed all of that and started to sense that I could win.
That feeling evaporated three days before the race during an after-school training session. I was completing
my warm-up exercises on the track and was just starting to accelerate into a slow sprint. Out of nowhere, I
suddenly felt a sharp, excruciating pain in my right shin. I stumbled for a moment in a haze, then suddenly
dropped to the ground with my injured right leg unable to support me. The pain was agonizing. I curled up
into a ball, trying to massage the leg, but not knowing what had actually happened.
When I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by Mr. Grayson and 4 members of the boys track team. They
had been practicing their javelin throws, and in a rare moment of goofing off, my classmate Joe haphazardly
threw the javelin in the wrong direction. He realized a split second after he threw it that I was running close
to him and was in the path of his wild trajectory. It was too late for even a verbal warning. The javelin hit me
at warp speed and sliced a quarter inch of flesh from my right shin.
The emergency personnel were wonderful and had my leg stitched in no time. Armed with pain medication, I
went home to recover, amid my family's hopeless and half-hearted assurances that there would be another
chance next year. Mr. Grayson visited and told me the same thing. I knew by his sad face that he didn't
mean it. By the time my grandparents called that night, I was convinced that I'd scream if I ever heard it the
expression "next year" ever again. I couldn't even imagine next year, or tomorrow for that matter, if I couldn't
be in the National Junior Olympics. I fell asleep in a ibuprofen-induced haze.
I got up the next day refusing to accept the verdict. It was only a flesh wound, for God's sake, and I would
not be sidelined by it. I WOULD run in that race and it didn't matter if I won, placed, or crawled across the
finish line. It owed it to myself, to Mr. Grayson and to my school to show up and do the best I could. That's
all anyone expected from me before the accident and that's exactly what I'd give them now. With medical
clearance from no one, I began to sprint again that afternoon and prepare for the race. The pain was
excruciating, but I worked through it. I had to. My leg was strapped, my pain was severe, but my mind was
still focused and determined. My body might not co-operate , but my training techniques and stamina were
in top form. I was ready.
I'd love to end this essay by announcing that I won the race and placed in the National Junior Olympics.
Unfortunately, that wouldn't be true, and it would diminish the achievement of the talented athletes who won
medals. But I competed in that race, finishing it in nearly double my normal time. I didn't come close to
winning a medal, but I won the most daunting challenge of my life. I endured an injury at the worse possible
moment with grace and maturity. I forgave Joe his reckless javelin throw and didn't blame him for my injury.
Accidents happen. I refused to back down from a commitment, even though there would be no glory at the
end. I wholeheartedly congratulated the winners that day, acknowledging the unity we share in our love for
the sport. Though not a winner in the classic sense, I honestly feel it was my finest hour. As for winning the
National Junior Olympics, there's always next year.
4) Describe Your Most Notable Achievements

This applicant was accepted by Johns-Hopkins University and Yale University.
Growing up on a large farm in rural Kansas, I've always yearned to see the city. Not the mid-sized, mall-
ridden Topeka, but the huge, thriving East Coast metropolis where celebrities roam, television shows are
filmed and no one ever sleeps. From the first time I heard Frank Sinatra's lovely devotional ballad about it,
New York City has been my obsession.
I collected every imaginable type of memorabilia from NYC without ever visiting there. My methods were
often quite creative. I ordered items from mail order catalogs, requested free samples, and extorted
souvenirs from every lucky soul I knew who ever visited the Big Apple. My mom believes that I have the
largest, most valuable collection of NYC hotel bath soaps in the mid-west. I get giddy just thinking about
them. Mom's puzzled by the New York fascination and has threatened to hide my Late Night with David
Letterman tee shirt if I wear it one more time. I think you get the point: I'm obsessed.
When I was 14, I set a goal of visiting NYC before my 16th birthday. I knew that I'd have to be creative in my
approach, as the chances of getting my family to take me was slim. My parents run a 200 acre dairy farm
and have never been outside the mid-west. In fact, I'm the only one of their six children who envisions that
there is viable life on the other side of the Mississippi. They wonder where they went wrong with me.
But they are great parents and they'd never deny me anything I truly wanted. So they threw me an olive
branch, and a viable possibility of seeing NYC, with an intriguing offer. If I could teach one of our pigs a
trick worthy of being selected by David Letterman's show, they'd pay for the trip to New York and go there
with me. I was thunderstruck. I didn't know my parents had ever watched Letterman's show, much less be a
fan of his "Stupid Pet Tricks" segment. I accepted the challenge, certain that I could train Spunk, our
smartest 300-lb pig, to do something entertaining.
You can't honesty define the word "frustrating" until you've tried to train a pig. Spunk easily mastered his
required skills of eating and sleeping but seemed resistant to higher education. I tried every day for weeks to
get him to do simple things like chase a rabbit, dance to music or fetch a ball. It was hopeless. He stood
silently during my efforts, viewing me with the amused tolerance that one usually reserves for small children.
I began to wonder if the hog I saw on Letterman tapping along to bluegrass music was a fraud.
After a month of futility, I was ready to concede defeat. Spunk was simply not going to learn a new trick to
impress David Letterman. As I left her for school one morning, I noticed that he swirled his tail around in
circles as the school bus honked it's horn. Cute, I thought. He's saying high to the driver, Mr. Bass. After
boarding the bus, I turned around to look at Spunk and noticed that he hadn't stopped swirling his tail. Every
time the horn blasted, he did it. I sensed the possibility!
I began working with Spunk on the identical task. I'd blow on my dad's old French horn (similar in sound to
the school bus) and reward him for the tail swirl. It worked every time! After a few hours of practice my
parents videotaped our sessions and we sent the tape off to David Letterman. We received word of our
acceptance just two months later. Spunk and I were going to be stars!
I won't bore you with the details of the trip and the hassle of taking a 300-lb pig to NYC. I won't even
complain that Spunk's performance on the show was haphazard and he only twirled his tail 75% of the time,
rather than his usual 100%. We certainly don't need to discuss my mother's reaction to the crowds,
pollution, noise and rowdiness. She's a country girl and not cut out for big city life. The important thing was
that we went on the show, we didn't choke and we got a great laugh from the audience. I could have done
without Letterman's obvious "corn-fed" description of us, but I attributed it to an awkward attempt at bonding.
NYC was everything I imagined and more. I loved the shows, the restaurants and the historic old buildings.
I visited every tourist trap and attended every television taping possible. I also filled my purse, camera bag
and suitcase with every freebie I could get my hands on. For three days, I was filled with the wonderful
energy of fulfilling a dream and being "home".
My achievement was not actually going to NYC but in fulfilling the dream. It was the first time I set a goal,
developed a plan to achieve it and succeeded. I suspected all along that was why my parents supported the
plan. They saw their daughter's wanderlust and wanted to help me achieve my dreams, even if they were
very different (and far away) from their own. This was the first of many goals I've set for my life, and my
success made me confident that I will achieve future ones as well.
I love NYC so much that I want to live there after college. My television appearance whet my interest in a
communications career, possibly in news reporting or television. Who knows, I might become the talent
coordinator for Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks and train talented livestock. Now THAT'S something in which I
am uniquely qualified!
5) Describe Your Most Notable Achievements
This applicant was accepted by Duke University and Georgetown University.
In the winter of 2003, I was selected from a group of 300 musicians to play lead trumpet for the
Ohio All-State Jazz Band. This honor, a seemingly impossible goal, was the culmination of many years of
dedication and practice. As an adolescent, I worked dozens of odd jobs and scrounged every dollar I could
find to pay for music lessons. Despite my parents' insistence that I focus on my schoolwork, I was
determined to gain acceptance into this prestigious ensemble.
In retrospect, the achievement was particularly memorable because I had been rejected from All-
State Jazz Band the previous year. Rather than become discouraged, I took twice as many lessons and
intensified my practice. For the first time in my life, I acknowledged the importance of setting goals, believing
in myself, and persisting in the face of opposition. Today, whenever I get discouraged, I remember the
lesson I learned while practicing for the audition; if I put my mind to it, I can accomplish anything.
Creatively, the event was the first time that I successfully combined my musical talents with
technology. Unable to afford a professional recording studio, I used amateur home-studio recording
techniques to create the required audition tape. I spent weeks recording and mixing tracks, using the
Cakewalk Studios software at my high school to simulate the studio environment. With my limited
experience, I relied on the user's guide and the support of a teacher to put together a successful audition
tape. To my surprise, I enjoyed the technical aspects of the project nearly as much as I enjoy playing the
trumpet.
Making the All-State Jazz Band was a turning point in my life, which played a critical role in defining
my career path. Eager to learn more about music technology, I plan to pursue a B.S. degree in Information
Systems to develop a thorough understanding of the field. After high school, I also plan to continue playing
the trumpet as part of Thumpers, a local jazz band. When I envision my professional future, I am eager to
explore innovative ways to combine music and technology in my own entrepreneurial venture. Thanks to my
success in preparing for the All-State Jazz Band, I am certain that I possess the tenacity to bring my dream
to fruition.
1) Favorite Book , Character or Historical Figure
This applicant was accepted at Syracuse University and the University of Illinois
At age seven, I struggled to learn a new language and overcome racial discrimination in my new country.
Since then, I've enjoyed motivational "fish out of water" stories, particularly about children. I was profoundly
moved by the novel Dragonwings by Laurence Yep, which captured my painful childhood isolation.
Dragonwings tells the story of Moon Shadow, an eight-year-old Chinese boy who comes to America to live
with his father. Delighted to move to the "land of gold", Moon Shadow is stunned by the subsequent realities
of racism and language barriers in 1906 Chinatown. Speaking only Mandarin Chinese, he endures terrible
teasing as he tries to adapt to American culture. Yet Moon Shadow secretly shares his father's
determination to control his destiny and ride the wind.
After moving from Malaysia to Greece, I suffered the same painful isolation as Moon Shadow. My
classmates mocked my initial efforts to learn English, causing a persistent stuttering problem. I eventually
overcame my self-consciousness by joining the debate team. As I perfected my public speaking skills, I
competed in international debating competitions and tutored English to poor children in my community.
Dragonwings eloquently describes how Moon Shadow adapted to his new culture and helped others become
more tolerant of diversity. As the novel closes, he overcomes formidable obstacles to achieve his dreams.
Years after initially reading the book, the story remains a powerful allegory for my own life. By learning a
new language and becoming a seasoned debater, I also gained control of my destiny. Like Moon Shadow, I
became free to ride the wind.
2) Favorite Book, Character or Historical Figure
This applicant was accepted at Georgetown University, Vassar College and Columbia University.
The last book I read that thoroughly inspired me was Neale Walsh's Conversations with God. It took me
nearly three nights to complete it, but was well worth the lost sleep. It's the first time in my life I felt that a
writer was speaking to me directly: not just to my mind, but to some unnamed, unspoken voice deep within
my soul. What a wonderful feeling!
Walsh's book captured my interest because he offers a different interpretation of God's message from that
contained in the Bible, Torah and other formal religious writings. As a lapsed Catholic, I've been searching
for spiritual direction, but hadn't found any meaningful answers from formal religion. Walsh answers many
of the "big" questions I've had about God, his expectations of us and our future after we leave the earth. He
offers such a unique message of hope that I truly felt Gods' love for me for the first time!
The book is written in a simple, conversational style that makes its message accessible and easy to
understand. It speaks to all people, regardless of their particular faith, and offers a message of hope and
unity. I wish that more people would read it and embrace its message of a loving, all-inclusive God. So
many needless wars are fought because of religious differences, yet this book clearly makes me realize that
God loves us all.
I rarely read a book more than once, but Conversations with God is a powerful exception. I've re-read
many passages from Walsh's book several times and feel that I gain a new perspective with each additional
reading. It's certain to be an important reference in my personal library for many years to come.
This applicant was accepted at Yale University, Stanford University and Temple University.
The fictitious character I'd most like to emulate is Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mockingbird. He is an
intelligent, optimistic man who chooses to live in a small town and devote his life to helping others. I can't
help but consider him to be a powerful role model. Although he is a supporting character in the novel, Mr.
Finch best demonstrates the power of goodness, honesty and wisdom. I put the book down wishing that I
knew more about him.
I imagine that at age 18, Mr. Finch was a lot like me. He lived in a small town and knew that after college he
wanted to return and make a lasting contribution to his community. He was probably quiet in high school,
hard-working, yet appreciative of the simple pleasures that small town life offers. He was an avid fisherman,
and loved to tease the neighborhood girls while baiting their hooks with "yucky" worms. He probably had a
special place in his heart for one of those girls, yet would never be forward enough to ask her out. They'd
be plenty of time for that when his formal education was finished. I believe that if we had been peers, we
would have been good friends.
I am at a crossroad in my life where I yearn to grow from my vision of a young Mr. Finch into the real thing. I
want to succeed in my college life, growing in confidence, sophistication and knowledge. I plan to use Mr.
Finch as a role model. I will always try to be a loving friend, a generous citizen and a productive man. I want
to emulate his example and grow into a man as inspirational as he is.
This applicant was accepted by the University of Connecticut and Brown University.
Through a filter of depression and self-imposed isolation, Catcher In the Rye's Holden Caufield provides a
wry, cynical perspective of coming-of-age in America. Nearly fifty years after the book's initial publication, it
still captures the universal sense of fear and rejection we must each overcome to achieve our dreams.
Although my personality is nothing like Holden's, I was inspired by his resistance to blindly surrender his
individuality. He taught me the importance of expanding my world and setting aggressive goals, regardless
of anyone else's opinion.
Many of Holden's psychological problems stemmed from his inability to accept and resolve conflict.
Fortunately, I was blessed with an abundance of resources, both financial and emotional, to build a
successful life. From an early age, I knew that life was filled with obstacles. Rather than wallow in idealism
like Holden, I use my talents and creativity to overcome whatever blocks my way. Armed with a strong
personality and sense of determination, I never let anyone restrict my goals or dreams.
One of my earliest goals was to become a championship swimmer. At age nine, I was scheduled to swim in
two events, and I needed to place in the top six to be eligible for the championship. When the results of my
first race were announced, I discovered that I missed qualifying by just two hundredths of a second. Aware
of my disappointment, my teammate tried to comfort me. "Maybe you're just not fast enough this year." I
was determined to prove her wrong. Several minutes later, as I prepared for my second event, my heart
pounded, my stomach churned, and my mind raced out of control. As I hit the water, I had a single thought.
"Prove her wrong." When the results were announced, I discovered that I had exceeded my own
expectations. I won the event. I learned a powerful lesson that day about being empowered by failure.
Blessed with a strong will, I never give up.
Nine years later, I continue to swim competitively on the Waverly Pool swim team and have used my
strength as a swimmer to build a lucrative business. After working as a lifeguard, I began teaching swim
lessons at the Avon Pool Academy. Last summer, I opened my own swimming instruction program in my
backyard, teaching private and group lessons to beginners and adults. When working with a frightened
student, I reinforce my powerful childhood lesson about perseverance. "Defeat never comes to any man until
he admits it." Buoyed by a strong will to succeed, my students inevitably become confident swimmers.
One poignant aspect of Holden's personality is his idealistic vision of himself as a protector of innocent souls.
In the book's most famous quotation, he fantasizes about saving their pure spirit. "I'm standing on the edge
of some crazy cliff..... I have to catch everybody if they start to go over.........I'd just be the catcher in the
rye.......". While I don't consider myself a savior, I share Holden's dedication to helping those around me.
Since fifth grade, I have been a dedicated volunteer in my community: as a YMCA tutor, a hospital worker,
in a soup kitchen and through my church's youth council. For the past two years, I have volunteered at a
local hospital, handling administrative tasks and providing direct patient care. Every person I meet offers an
opportunity to share my strengths and to learn something new.
To my delight, many patients respond to my personality as well as to my clinical skills. In times of stress,
patients who are scared and lonely need a compassionate voice to soothe their fears. Simple gestures like
holding a child's hand and explaining a procedure can be extremely comforting. The hospital has opened
my eyes to illness, disease and human suffering in ways that I could never have learned in the classroom.
My clinical work also exposes me to the fascinating world of human disease, where every patient brings
unexpected challenges. As a physician, I will embrace this challenge every day, drawing from a unique set
of scientific, clinical and interpersonal skills.
As I approach the college admission process, I am grateful for the many blessings that shape my life. My
parents have always supported my dreams, and my school provides a nurturing environment where I am an
individual, rather than just a number. With a strong support network, I learned to set aggressive goals and to
be a leader in my school, church and neighborhood. I survived the adolescent pain and isolation in which
Holden Caufield became entrenched. In future endeavors, I hope to embody the best of Holden, particularly
his commitment to authenticity and his desire to help others. With the support of my family and church, I am
eager to embrace the spirit of altruism in the Harvard community. In addition to pursuing professional
success, I am committed to being a woman of integrity and honor. I will become the sincere, self-actualized
person that Holden could only imagine.
This applicant was accepted at Vanderbilt University, Bowdoin College and the University of Chicago.
I cried the first time I read the novel Black Like Me and continue to be moved by it today. Growing up in
rural Wisconsin, I was isolated from most racial issues and never realized how polarized our culture was.
Black Like Me made those issues impossible to ignore.
I was raised to believe that God loves all people and that we should treat each other the same. I'd like to
think that my treatment of another would not change because of his skin color. This book forced me to
question whether that was true. This character's clothing, intelligence, material wealth and behavior were
consistent, but the treatment he received from others was not. When he appeared white, he was accepted
as a valued citizen, while when he appeared black, he was subjected to horrible abuse and cruelty.
Besides making me sad, this forced me to look at the way I evaluate others when I first meet them. I was
disheartened to realize how much my perception was affected by externals. I am more determined than
ever to promote equality in our society for all people in their pursuit of all opportunities. I can't change the
world, but I can change my own attitude and behavior. I think that acceptance, unity and change come one
person at a time, one interaction at a time. I am committed to doing my part because of Black Like Me.
1) Discuss a Change You Will Make in Your Community
This applicant was accepted at Dartmouth College and Columbia University.
Due to the reckless actions of a drunk driver, my best friend Stephanie was paralyzed from the neck down at
age fifteen. While riding home from a weekend movie, she was hit head-on by a minivan whose driver's
blood alcohol was twice the legal limit. Because her injuries were so severe, Stephanie was forced to
withdraw from Barrington High School and enlist the help of a full-time tutor. Doctors seriously doubt that
she will ever enjoy her previous hobbies of dancing, field hockey and swimming.
Stephanie's injuries left a lasting impression on my heart and those of everyone in our tight-knit community.
Although we are a small town, we have survived a disproportionate number of drunk driving fatalities. We all
vowed that Stephanie's devastating accident would be the last. Following her accident last year, 20 of us
formed the town's first chapter of Students Against Drunk Driving (SADD). While we all prefer to think that
the drunk who hit Stephanie was an evil monster, he was actually a 20-year-old native of our community.
Everyone in town knew Joe since he was a kid and we all knew he liked to drink on Friday nights at the
County Line Saloon. Sadly, we never took the time to consider whether Joe had a problem that could
potentially hurt others. We never stopped him from getting in his car and driving home after 3, 4, or 10
mixed drinks.
SADD is a group that does everything possible to spread awareness about the evil and potential
ramifications of driving drunk. Unfortunately, we can't ever undo the traumatic incident that lead to our own
group's formation. Despite our good thoughts and heartfelt intentions, Stephanie will never walk again. Joe
will spend the next eight years in prison, receiving no help or treatment for his alcoholism. Two wasted lives,
a result of a totally senseless and needless situation. SADD's goal is to prevent the next incident, to prevent
more wasted lives and ruined families.
I am committed to being Stephanie's friend for the rest of my life. I visit her frequently and try my best to be
a normal presence in her very narrow world. Yet I am equally committed to working for SADD, to prevent
other kids my age from making the same mistake as Joe. Barrington has zero tolerance for drinking and
driving and the inevitably devastating consequences. For the rest of my life, I will do my part to protect my
family and friends from this sad evil that permeates every level of society.
This applicant was accepted at the University of Virginia and Northwestern University.
Like most teens, I am immersed in a culture that romanticizes drugs and alcohol. Throughout high school,
many friends challenged my decision to abstain and encouraged me to experiment with drugs. I never
wavered in my decision to say no. During fifth grade, I was tremendously impressed by a presentation by a
local D.A.R.E officer (drug awareness and resistance education) in my community. He described the
devastating effects of drugs on the human body and emphasized our choice to say no. I couldn't imagine
that anyone could listen to his moving speech and still want to do drugs. During Drivers Education class,
we watched videos that showed the deadly combination of drinking and driving. The graphically-depicted
dangers reinforced my decision to remain abstinent.
The issue became personal to me during my freshman year in high school, when my cousin was critically
injured in a drunk driving accident. Only three of the five passengers in the car survived, including the driver.
Although he survived, my cousin was hospitalized for months with a serious head injury and mangled leg. In
just an instant, his life was permanently changed. My cousin still struggles with short-term memory loss and
has a plate in his right leg holding his shattered bone together. I remember visiting him in the hospital and
being afraid of what looked like an erector set protruding from his stomach. I was pained by the horrible
damage caused by drunk driving.
Ironically, I also felt compassion for the terrible consequences facing the drunk driver. His conscience must
forever carry the weight of two violent deaths and my cousin's serious injuries. The driver was held
criminally liable for the accident, which will diminish his future opportunities. He will haunted forever by the
permanent effects of one bad decision. After watching the ramifications for both my cousin and the guilty
driver, its become easier to say no to drugs.
My commitment to abstinence shapes my social life in a positive way, as I surround myself with others who
are committed to similar values. I attend parties with different groups, but avoid the pressure to experiment
with alcohol or drugs. It isn't always a popular choice. Public service announcements claim that people will
leave you alone after you say no and will respect you more. Thats not always true. From my experience,
people can be offended if you turn it down and will exclude you from their group. I know that my commitment
to abstinence may cost me friendships, party invitations and acceptance into certain cliques. It doesn't
matter. I respect myself and am proud of my decision. I wont let other people influence my better
judgment. In my generation, the choice to drink and do drugs is a challenge that every teen much face. I
am eager to embrace a future that is alcohol and drug-free and to promote the benefits of an abstinent
lifestyle.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Bowdoin College and Brown University.
Lakeland Skating is a free skating program that my high school class created for underprivileged
youth in Los Angeles. We provide after-school and summer activity for kids age 6-15, and support talented
younger players who cannot afford skating lessons. I was one of the five founding members of the program,
inspired by a similar program in my native Chicago. To raise awareness and money for the program, my
high school class solicited donations from businesses throughout Los Angeles. We overcame several
obstacles to bring Lakeland Skating to fruition.
Volunteers and benefactors resisted committing to a program that did not exist, and questioned our
ability (as teenagers) to manage such an ambitious venture. I ultimately used my youth to my advantage. I
gained their interest by demonstrating an organized and structured plan as well as an infectious enthusiasm
for the project. To finance my first set of classes, I used creative ways to raise money. I organized a charity
skating tournament at Lakeland School, charging entrance fees and awarding cash prizes. I also convinced
Lakeland-area businesses to pay for sponsorships. As awareness grew, donors contributed money,
community centers and schools sent their children, and volunteers taught classes and coordinated the
program. We continually motivated different groups of supporters behind different aspects of the program
and retained them from year-to-year to facilitate long-term relationships with the kids. Within two years, the
program expanded from a 5-member team to a 25-employee enterprise, operating across 5 Los Angeles
sites, and touching the lives of over 150 children.
This experience was personally rewarding, as I enjoyed the benefits of giving back to the
community. Many of the children had limited opportunities to create success in their lives. My program
provides a positive outlet for them to learn valuable lessons in teamwork, compromise and hard work. I am
convinced that the benefits of community work is self-perpetuating: the more we help underprivileged kids,
the greater the chance they can succeed and subsequently use the tools we provide them to improve their
own lives and their communities. I am honored to use my talents as a skating instructor to make a positive
contribution to society.
This applicant was accepted at Stanford University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Throughout high school, I have maintained a careful balance between school, work and
volunteering in my community. I embodied my strong sense of responsibility and dedication from my
parents, who are successful entrepreneurs. They moved here from our native China just twenty years ago
and struggled very hard to build a successful business. I work with them in their store, providing customers
with quality care and service, even during harsh blizzard conditions.
As a first-generation Chinese-American, I am also committed to helping new arrivals adjust to life in

the United States. For the past two years, I have accompanied my mother each month to the Chinese-
American Support Center, a mecca in San Diego for new arrivals from mainland China. Although everyone
has the proper visas and documents to legally live here, few have a mastery of English sufficient to succeed
independently in our culture. I play with the children, sing songs with them and conduct basic lessons in
English. I also read to senior citizens, who desperately want to keep abreast of news back in their
homeland. Since Chinese newspapers are unavailable here, I translate relevant news stories from the Los
Angeles Times and the San Francisco Chronicle.
I also conduct an informal class in American culture for high school students and young adults. As a
teenager, "fitting in" requires a mastery of clothing, slang, music and other types of entertainment. My role is
that of supportive friend who eagerly shows new arrivals the social opportunities that abound in San Diego. I
take groups of Chinese friends to rock concerts, football games and to the beach. I explain the relevance of
SAT exams, Ivy League schools and community colleges. I also inspire them with the realization that
America is a land of unlimited hope and opportunity. Whatever their goals, sex, financial status or religious
beliefs, they can succeed here. The only thing stopping them is their own willingness to embrace and
pursue America's endless opportunities.
Although my language skills are not perfect, I feel a sense of accomplishment by helping others.
After years of volunteering at the Chinese-American Support Center, I learned that giving a warm smile to a
scared child can provide trust and comfort. I also reconfirmed my love for the United States and my
appreciation for my parents for raising me here. I am committed to share my love and friendship with as
many people as possible who move to the United States. What distinguishes a compassionate American
from one who is distant may simply be a warm and genuine smile.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Duke University and the University of Pennsylvania.
I live in a community that buses its students to a regional high school twenty miles away. During the recent
tax shortfall, our Town Commission eliminated the bus service for those who lived within five miles of the
campus. Suddenly without transportation to a school four miles away, I became a vocal enthusiast against
the arbitrary 5-mile limit.
I vocalized my initial displeasure in an after-school "informational" meeting held at our Town Hall. Six dozen
parents attended, but no one wanted to rock the boat by speaking up. Only my naive 16-year-old nerves
gave me the courage to do it. I complained about the decision, citing the hazards it created for 400 kids.
We were forced to walk to school a long distance on a busy road with no sidewalk. On rainy and snowy
days, we were nearly invisible to passing drivers, who hit pedestrians at a rate of two per year. In addition,
we often arrived at school feeling and looking like drowned rats after our 4-mile obstacle course/endurance
walk. I appreciate the community's need to save money, but not at the expense of my own safety.
I'd love to say that I was so persuasive at that meeting that the Town Commissioners immediately restored
the bus service. Unfortunately, it wasn't that easy. Yet I was motivated and not about to abandon my goal. I
became the unofficial spokesperson for the cause, giving interviews to our local newspaper and to a reporter
from the local television station. After the Associated Press picked up the story, I was famous, appearing on
two nationally syndicated news shows. Soon, our town was famous not for dairy products and excellent
cheese, but for failing to transport those "fine children" safely to school. Not surprisingly, our bus service
was restored just two weeks after my national television debut.
I learned several lessons from this experience. First, shame works. The committee already knew the
drawbacks of the plan and the danger to the community children, but they eliminated the bus service
anyway. Sadly, money came before our safety. The committee honored our needs only when publicly
shamed into doing so. Knowing this, I am now convinced that it is the public's job (meaning every one of us)
to direct the actions of our elected officials. We must be vocal and proactive to defend and assert our rights.
Third, I learned that I'm an effective advocate and an articulate spokesperson for change. I don't mind
taking the spotlight to represent those who are afraid to speak. Prior to losing my bus ride, I wasn't inclined
to "rock the boat" to initiate change. I discovered a hidden strength and a strong resolve, which I plan to
use throughout my personal and professional future.
1. How will you contribute to diversity on campus?
This applicant was accepted by Dartmouth College and the University of Pennsylvania.
Popular cliches about "appearances being deceiving" are particularly relevant to those of multi-cultural
heritage. By appearance, I am a stereotypical Indian male, with dark hair, olive skin and a lean, athletic
build. Yet my childhood in Barrington, Illinois has been decidedly "American", providing a powerful contrast
to my parents' native Bangalore. I've spent nearly eighteen years bridging the gap between two very
different cultures and carving out an identity that is uniquely my own.
After leaving their native India, my parents embraced life in the United States for the myriad educational and
professional opportunities it affords its citizens. From my earliest memories, my parents encouraged me to
do everything possible to succeed. Yet their unfamiliarity with American culture placed me at a distinct
disadvantage when I started elementary school. Guided by my strict Indian upbringing, I had a difficult time
finding my place in a culture that celebrates sports icons and MTV.
With a burgeoning Indian and Asian population, my community eventually became more tolerant of ethnic
diversity. Yet, throughout my early childhood, my parents and I simultaneously struggled to integrate
ourselves into mainstream society. My greatest challenge was gaining acceptance into a peer group whose
values were inherently superficial. Even as a young child, I knew that other parents did not share my family's
passion for education.
Academia became my salvation. With a natural proclivity for math and science, I became one my school's
most popular "computer jocks". I brought honor to the school, winning second place in the national
competition in Technology Concepts, sponsored by the Future Business Leaders of America. With my
participation on the school newspaper and Model UN, I found my niche among a group of academically-
gifted students. Ironically, as I became more confident of my identity, I was more selective in seeking
friends. Several of the most popular students were intolerant of diversity, tormenting those who they
perceived to be "different". Some of their actions, inspired by fear and ignorance, were cruel and morally
wrong. Adhering to my core values, I opted to surround myself with more compassionate friends who are
well-intentioned and accepting of others.
As I prepare for college, I embrace the benefits of my dual heritage, equally appreciative of Indian chants
and alternative rock. Both cultural influences have shaped my character and made me the independent
thinker I am today. With my strong intellectual curiosity, I am eager to enroll in a top-notch computer science
program to prepare for a career as a software engineer. A talented pianist and basketball player, I will also
pursue opportunities to develop my athletic and musical potential. On a campus that celebrates diversity,
the enrichment possibilities will be endless. Throughout my endeavors, I will continue to share my success
with my parents, who encouraged me to fulfill my educational dream. Their vision of a better life in America
was the catalyst to all I have subsequently achieved.
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University and the University of Virginia.
After living in two very different countries, I gained a heartfelt appreciation for diversity. Although my family
is Korean, I spent most of my early childhood in Bali, a popular tourist island. At my local public school, my
peers included an exotic blend of native Balians, Indians, Europeans and other Islanders. With their support,
I created my own unique place in a new country.
My early experiences were quite humorous. When I first visited the home of an Indian friend, her
grandmother looked curiously at me and asked if I was a "Chainee" (a Chinese person). Not wanting to
offend her, I gulped down spicy Indian curry that nearly burned the roof of my mouth. Looking back, our
awkward reactions were a simply an expression of our natural curiosity about someone from a different
culture. Fortunately, the people of Bali were generous toward my mistakes and eager to help me fit in. The
friendly, laid back atmosphere on the tropical island was a startling contrast to the bustling environment in
Seoul and Sydney, where I previously lived. Bali taught me to accept people, regardless of their color or
religion.
After ten years away from Korea, I began to lose my familiarity with its language, history and culture. My
grandmother smiled patiently as I tried to communicate with her, beating my chest in frustration. Despite my
happiness in Bali, my parents encouraged me to preserve my Korean heritage. "Who you are, a Korean, is
very, very important." When we moved back to Korea, my father took us to museums and famous palaces
that explained the details of Korean history. In each place, we followed my dad as he proudly explained
each instrument, painting and piece of pottery.
During one museum trip, I recited out loud the English description of an old Tang dynasty vase. Two
American backpackers were delighted to meet someone who could speak English and answer questions that
they could not ask at the Korean information desk. As I talked to them, I realized the importance of having
English-speaking museum employees to help foreign visitors learn about our culture. Sadly, on the streets
of Seoul, people often pull away from foreigners who seek directions and information.
Initially, even my own behavior was criticized. When I spoke English with my Korean-American friends, old
men and women would spitefully reprimand us. "If you are Korean, you should speak Korean!" With its long
history of seclusion, Korea remains an enigma to most foreigners. To my dismay, the non-welcoming
attitude of our natives prohibits others from learning about our great culture. Unlike Bali, which welcomes all
visitors with open arms, Korea remains cautious of "strangers".
Thanks to my childhood years in Bali, I value diversity and consider the entire world to be my home. With a
degree in International Relations, I will be well-prepared to promote Korea to the rest of the globe. In many
ways, I have already started. During a recent summer session in America, I formed solid friendships with
people from several continents. At the end of the summer, we vowed to be tour guides for each other when
we visit each other's countries. Next summer, I will show Korea to my friend from Hong Kong, explaining the
subtleties of our language, history and customs. I've discovered that cultural bridges must be built one
person at a time, one interaction at a time. Wherever I go, I will share the generosity of spirit that my guides
in Bali instilled in me.
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University, Columbia University and Stanford University.
The sun was just setting as I arrived at work on a Friday evening in August. I quickly threw on my green
Baskin Robbins apron to assist my two coworkers.
"Can I have a double scoop of chocolate mocha with butterscotch sauce, please?"
I rang up the ice cream and handed an empty cup to LaDawna, our 24-year-old shift leader. Two scoops of
chocolate mocha, a squirt of butterscotch sauce, and the customer's order was ready. After she left, our
store experienced its usual evening downtime, with no customers for half an hour. LaDawna and I, close
acquaintances since our first shift together, engaged in casual conversation.
With college applications looming, LaDawna asked me where I wanted to go to school. My short answer
"Columbia" brought slight confusion to her face.
"Is that a good school?" she asked innocently.
"Yes, it's an excellent place," I responded, as LaDawna sighed with relief. I realized that she wasn't familiar
with Columbia, despite its close proximity and great reputation.
"Well, good luck, Tina. I wish I had the opportunity to attend college."
Questions began to swirl in my mind. What did she mean? Why didn't she have the opportunity? There
were plenty of colleges within twenty miles of our neighborhood. Why didn't she take the time to earn a
degree? Her answers shocked me.
"My mother died of cancer when I was eight and my father abandoned us shortly afterwards. My brother and
I lived in eight different foster homes by the time I was seventeen. I never had time to study. Heck, I never
stayed in one place long enough to make friends."
With a slight shrug and embarrassed smile, LaDawna stopped talking. For a few moments, we suffered in
awkward silence. Despite our superficial friendship, I realized I didn't "know" her at all. Although she acted
like a carefree teenager, LaDawna had been working full-time since she was seventeen. Through no fault
of her own, she was denied all of the carefree moments of childhood. Her only family was a younger brother
who was constantly in trouble with the law.
Until that moment, I didn't realize the profound differences between LaDawna's life and my own. We were
both pretty, fun-loving African-American girls from New York City. We shared a love of hip hop, action
movies and Beef Lo Mein. Yet, suddenly, I acknowledged a powerful difference between us that would
ultimately determine our destinies. Despite working full-time for years, LaDawna had neither the money nor
the time to pursue an education. She had no future other than Baskin Robbins. I felt guilty at the notion of
leaving within a year and moving on to college.
Life isn't fair. Some of us are blessed with the intellect, the financial means and the environment to succeed,
while others never have a chance. My parents have always used top-notch students in my school as
paradigms. They claim that hard work can build a person into anyone he or she wants to be. Yet I know this
is not true. I have been given incredible blessings that are beyond the reach of many people. When I meet
someone like LaDawna, I am reminded of my good fortune. My conscience warns me not to squander my
opportunity to obtain an excellent education and fulfill my potential. As President John F. Kennedy advised,
"To whom much is given, much is required."
Throughout my life, the people who have influenced me will remain in my memory, providing the strength
and motivation that I need to attain my goals. Many, like LaDawna, serve as powerful reminders of the
fragility and randomness of life. No one knows why one person is blessed, while another is denied the basic
essentials. Just one change in my family history (a divorce, accident or untimely death) might have left me
in LaDawna's shoes, facing challenges quite different from college applications. With this in mind, I feel an
extra motivation to pursue my dreams. Not everyone can.
The clock struck nine, and it was pitch dark outside. I punched out and headed home, leaving LaDawna to
assist the next customer. She will never know how much I respect her.
This applicant was accepted Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania.
After my parents divorced, my mother and I moved to the United States to ensure that I would receive an
excellent education. Just three years old, I didn't realize the future challenges and rewards of being raised in
an immigrant, single-parent household. Without a formal education, my mother worked full-time as a
waitress to pay for our food and rent. Home alone, I became proficient at making meals and cleaning the
house. Although our life was difficult, we were blessed with the love and support from our family in China
and our own close-knit relationship.
I studied diligently and excelled in school, despite our limited resources. Although my initial efforts were to
express gratitude to my mother for her sacrifices, I enjoyed learning and became especially interested in the
social sciences. At a young age, I felt empowered by my understanding of society and my own socio-
economic situation. During difficult times, I asked my mother, Why did we leave China and come to the
United States? She answered, Because there is freedom here. After many years, I ultimately realized
that freedom enabled social mobility and the fulfillment of my dreams. My mother grew up in China during
the Great Cultural Revolution and was denied the privilege of a good education. Here in the United States,
she knew that I could overcome poverty by working hard. What a incredible gift!
Despite my lack of materials goods, my childhood taught me invaluable life lessons. I appreciate the fruit of
my hard work and the little things that most people take for granted, such as good food and a comfortable
couch. I devour information and good books, which aren't readily available in most other countries. But I
most value my mother, whose sacrifices will provide me will a happier and more fulfilling future than she ever
acquired for herself. Ultimately, I want to use my experience and knowledge to empower other
underprivileged children to attain their own dreams. I can't imagine a greater gift for the next generation.
This applicant was accepted by Syracuse University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Amazingly, I wasn't born a stutterer. My insecurities surfaced at age eleven, when my parents moved our
family from China to Hong Kong. I enrolled in the London International School, where the language of
instruction was English. Although I had never studied English, I was confident that I could master the
language and succeed in an international environment. Like Icarus, I wanted to fly to the sun.
But as Icarus fell, so did I. Unaccustomed to dealing with someone "different", my classmates mocked my
Chinese accent and ridiculed me when I mispronounced a word. More than simple teasing, my peers
actually seemed to relish my discomfort, calling me insulting names. I was devastated. After a few weeks,
my confidence was replaced by self-consciousness and doubt. Before I spoke, I feared the consequences
of every syllable. Was my pronunciation correct? Was my accent too strong? I developed a stuttering
problem that further increased my sadness and isolation.
For several years, I suffered quietly, until a caring teacher became my salvation. In ninth grade, Mr. Winslow
suggested that debate would build my confidence and eliminate my stuttering. At the time, I couldn't imagine
myself speaking confidently in public. I balked. Desperate to succeed, I secretly practiced by myself at
home. I watched the closed captioning on CNN and carefully repeated the anchor's words. After several
weeks, my English improved and my stuttering diminished.
With Mr. Winslow's encouragement, I made the debate team that year, which helped me to make new
friends, improve my speaking skills and feel like a valuable contributor to my school. This past summer, I
ranked 12th out of 360 debaters at Stanford Universitys selective Swing Lab program. Competing against
such formidable international talent, no one guessed how far I had come in just a few short years.
My debating success taught me the importance of strong language skills in a well-rounded education. I also
acknowledged the powerful contribution of my teacher, Mr. Winslow, to identify and nurture my potential.
Benjamin Disraeli aptly stated, "The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but
reveal to them their own." Remembering the pain of being teased, I was determined to help other children
avoid the same fate.
Since ninth grade, I have worked as a volunteer English tutor at a non-profit educational organization near
my school. Despite their impoverished backgrounds, my students are eager to get an education and to
become fluent in English. They demonstrate a powerful confidence that I lacked at their age, until my
debating skills opened the door to academic and interpersonal success.
I plan to join the debate team at Harvard and will work as a volunteer tutor in the local school system. I will
also assume a leadership role in the Chinese-American Student Association, which helps new students from
China adjust to life in the United States. From my bi-cultural upbringing, I discovered how it feels to be
"different" from everyone else. I have learned to look beyond a person's superficialities when I first meet
them, preferring to focus on their true character. If I can use my talents to help other students feel better
about themselves, then I will be a success. By sharing my experiences, I am sharing my greatest gift, which
will ultimately help others identify and fulfill their own potential.
1. Describe how your interests and goals are a fit for our school.
This student was accepted at Princeton University and the University of Pennsylvania.
My world is a unique blend of different personalties, cultures, languages and lifestyles. Just as each
DNA molecule affects the way we look and behave, each microscopic detail of my world has defined my
personality and shaped my destiny.
My small, close-knit family family is a constant source of love and inspiration. Although we have
always enjoyed a nurturing relationship, the challenges we faced when we migrated from Japan to the United
States brought us even closer. Whenever we faced a problem trying to assimilate into our new culture, we
depended on each other for emotional support. My parents, who are both engineers, also provided the
inspiration for me to join their profession. Watching my father measure oil viscosity and my mother design
engines, I developed a forceful passion for science and mathematics. At a young age, I developed a
critical understanding of complex subjects, referring to engineering textbooks to develop a better grasp of
each topic. At age 12, I asked my dad, "Where is the best place to study engineering?" He replied with
great enthusiasm, "Princeton University. Although it is very competitive, it is an amazing place to get an
education." Consequently, I have never seriously considered another school.
My life has also been shaped by my four years of debating, which helped me to transform from a
quiet and shy boy to an outspoken and mature adult. By developing and presenting arguments, I have
honed my analytical skills and learned the importance of teamwork. I have also learned how to think on my
feet and consider alternative ideas and perspectives. By conquering the trials and tribulations of debates, I
have developed the maturity and confidence to succeed in the fast-paced, stimulating environment at
Princeton.
Above all, I am a first-generation Japanese-American, which has strongly influenced my career
path. For the past several years, my country's educational system has been restructured to address the
needs of an international economy. The increased focus on research and development is designed to
provide students with the knowledge and skills to innovate using cutting-edge technologies. I am eager to
become part of this exciting field. As an engineer, I can channel my energy into a research-oriented industry
with highly practical applications. I am passionate about studying at Princeton, where I will interact with
talented teachers, researchers and scientists from across the globe. In such a rigorous environment, I can
explore the limits of my potential and make a lasting contribution to the profession.
In mathematical terms, my world is akin to a vector space, which has an infinite number of elements
that satisfy all 10 axioms. If only one axiom does not hold, it is not a vector space. In the same manner, my
world, including a lifetime of memories, would not be the same if any of its features was missing. Through a
unique series of satisfying academic, extracurricular and personal experiences, I have become a highly
motivated young man who is eager to claim his destiny. With the support of my family, which is the the
defining axiom of my life, all things are possible.
This student was accepted at Bowdoin College and the University of Pennsylvania.
Despite my lifetime familiarity with Penn, I didn't appreciate my "fit" for the school until I spent time on
campus. Penn's Multicultural Open House and Philadelphia Program were a breathtaking and magical
experience for me. As a Chinese and Vietnamese-American, I seek a school with a diverse student body
and a commitment to academic excellence. Penn offers both. The multicultural campus will enable me to
meet people of different backgrounds and to learn from their varying perspectives. After my birth in the
United States, I attended a high school with less than 5% Asian students. Emerged in American culture, my
ethnic roots are sometimes unclear. Although my taste in music and film is decidedly American, my
personality and values clearly reflect my Asian heritage: I respect my elders, excel in math and sciences
and enjoy a competitive and diligent nature. Deep in my heart, I often wonder if I am American, Asian or
both. Penn's Asian Pacific Student Coalition is a perfect opportunity to explore my ethnic roots.
As a future physician, I am attracted to Penn's demonstrated commitment to scientific research. During Mr.
Carl Rosen's presentation, I learned about Penns renowned professors, unique academic characteristics
and challenging dual degree programs. Since early childhood, I dreamed of becoming a pediatrician who
helped children recover from serious illnesses. A dual degree in biology and chemistry will provide excellent
preparation for the rigors of medical school. With my aggressive nature and strong self-motivation, I am
well-prepared for the challenges of a dual curriculum.
As a musician, my final enticement was the rhythmic chant of Penn's marching band on a chilly Saturday
morning. P-E-N-NPENNP-E-N-NPENN As they marched toward Franklin Field, cheering for the
football game against Columbia, the band members inspired strong feelings of nostalgia. I longed for my
days in the school band, when I relieved my stress by blowing into my saxophone. Through my training as a
musician, I developed the self-discipline, patience, dedication and time management skills that continue to
enrich my life. At Penn, I will join the bands ceremonial march toward Franklin Field, playing my beloved
saxophone to showcase my school pride. When I throw toast down the field at halftime, I will share one of
Penns richest, most long-standing traditions.
This student was accepted at Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Throughout my childhood in Innis, Michigan, I was raised in a small town atmosphere among a group of
racially homogenous people. As one of the few Iranians in the community, I often felt that I was living a
"double life." Within the confines of my home, I embraced the food, language and traditional clothing of my
family's homeland. Yet when I left the house, I easily blended into the nuances of the American culture,
which followed very different rules. At a young age, I learned how to juggle the subtleties of each culture and
adapt the most important and beneficial aspects of each. Most importantly, I learned to take pride in my
heritage and to share it eagerly with others.
My interest in diversity compelled me to take a college-level course in Women's Anthropology at the

University of Michigan, a renowned institution with a diverse student body. Looking back, the class was an
excellent opportunity to explore my role as a multicultural woman, both inside and outside the classroom.
One of my most memorable activities was marching in Washington D.C. in response to the Supreme Court's
decision on affirmative action at the University of Michigan. Regardless of which side students were on, we
were energized by the process of joining together to defend the school's policy and reputation. Through this
experience, I came to truly understand the benefits of being part of a diverse learning community. We were
not forced to simply listen to the viewpoints of others; our voices, an integral part of the university
community, were respected and heard.
Marching in Washington completely changed my life. When I returned to Innis, I realized that its small town
environment no longer fit the person I hoped to become. As a result, I decided to pursue my college
education at a place that champions diversity. After all, a critical part of education is having the right to
express my views and assimilate those of others. By sharing our unique opinions and experiences in a
supportive environment, we can better understand new ideas and learn how to apply them to our own lives.
I am applying to Harvard University primarily because of its demonstrated commitment to a diverse
curriculum and interdisciplinary thinking. I am eager to part of a talented, diverse group of people who share
their collective resources both inside and outside the classroom. With such a broad foundation, I will be
better prepared to achieve my long-term goal of championing gender equality in Iran.
4. Describe how your interests and goals are a fit four our school.
This student was accepted at Yale University, Cornell University the University of Virginia.
After surviving the fiscal collapse in Hong Kong, I decided to study economics to prepare for a career at the
IMF or World Bank. For the past several years, I have embraced every opportunity to learn about
economics. Last summer, I visited Washington, DC as part of the Congressional Youth Councils Global
Leadership Conference. I attended several lectures at the International Monetary Fund (IMF) center that
discussed the emergency funding in Korea, Thailand and Indonesia. I acknowledged the need (and
opportunity) for someone like me to work at the IMF as an advocate for change.
Yale's exceptional program in economics is an ideal fit for my background and skills. With relevant courses
in finance and management, I will be prepared to meet the complex challenges of a global economy.
Located near the financial district in New York City, your program offers a unique opportunity to network
among people who influence world markets. Yale's faculty members don't just teach mathematical models;
they originate them. I am eager to participate in a community of international students who are committed to
learning from each another. Beyond my coursework, I hope to form many long-lasting friendships and
business relationships.
Yale is also the perfect place to hone my skill in oration - a necessary attribute to effectively lead a group or
team in the professional community. To overcome my shyness in a new country, I joined debate to build my
self-confidence and to become more comfortable speaking English. Within a year, I became a seasoned
public speaker who competed successfully in international competitions. Last summer, my team placed third
out of 125 competing teams at UCLA's Debate Program. I was also one of twenty accepted to Stanford
University's selective "Oration Lab" program for advanced debaters.
I regularly use my speaking skills to benefit others. Since tenth grade, I have worked as a volunteer English
tutor at a non-profit daycare center in downtown Oakland. I hope to bring this same enthusiasm to Yale's
"Speakfest", which organizes debates in disadvantaged communities in Connecticut. In addition, I plan to
augment my own skills by joining Yale's world renowned debate team.
To prepare for a career in international economics, I need to develop a solid background in languages,
diplomacy, history and communications. I need an educational environment with a focus on diversity and
high achievement. I need a place to hone my debate skills, where I can use my talents to help others. I
need Yale.
5. Describe how your interests and goals are a fit four our school.
This student was accepted at the University of Chicago and Syracuse.
As I approach my college career, I am eager to select the right university. In my mind, the
relationship between a student entering college is similar to that of a piece of iron being heated by a furnace;
if the incoming quality is good, the end result will be exceptional. After visiting several schools and reviewing
dozens of catalogs and web sites, I am confident that Princeton is an excellent fit for my skills and goals. As
a prospective engineering major, I cannot imagine a better place to continue my education.
During my childhood in China, my parents strongly encouraged me to explore my diverse academic

interests. On a trip to Germany, France and England in 1995, I became intrigued by the scientific
development and civilization of the Western world. As I explored my love of science, I realized that its
advancements and breakthroughs required more than mastering theories and knowledge. Throughout
history, the true technical pioneers had to apply their knowledge to new and exciting situations. Like a
house, each scientific development is composed of thousands of "bricks" that provide support. Only by
combining many ideas (or "bricks") in diverse fields can a scientist make his maximum contribution.
Following my European trip, learning became my top priority, both inside and outside the
classroom. In addition to my love for mathematics and physics, I also pursued my interest in literature,
history and the social sciences. As I devoured books and articles on each topic, I realized the importance of
eloquence and language. The best authors, regardless of their area of expertise, are effective
communicators who present complex information in an understandable way. I am eager to develop the
same skill. Rather than limit my studies to one specific area, I plan to acquire rigorous, broad-based
education that combines classes in math and science with those in the humanities.
When I moved to the United States in August of 2001, my love of learning helped me to brave the
uncertainties of my new world. As I adjusted to a dramatically different culture, I was buoyed by the
confidence I had developed from my earlier educational experiences. As a non-native speaker of English, I
quickly addressed the critical issues regarding language and communication. By joining an Asian youth
leadership club, I learned how to communicate effectively as a peer mentor. I later perfected my vocabulary
and speaking skills through debate. Three years later, I have adapted well to my new surroundings and am
fluent in both English and Chinese.
I am continually intrigued by my classes in Physics, Calculus and Geometry, which explain the
mathematical concepts and scientific principles of engineering. My interest in these areas is a reflection of
my tendency to think logically and to use deductive reasoning to solve problems. As a science student, I
love well-written textbooks that challenge my imagination and intellect. There is a beauty to mathematical
concepts when they are presented in an orderly and intelligible way. During a meeting at the Society of
American High School, I found myself surrounded by other students who share my love of learning. I am
excited by the prospect of attending college among such an accomplished and talented group of peers.
When I evaluated prospective colleges, I sought a place that had exceptional programs in
mathematics, science and engineering, which are my true intellectual passions. At the same time, I wanted
a school with strong departments in the humanities and social sciences, which will provide a sense of
balance to my curriculum. Respected departments in English and Communications were also essential to
enable me to perfect my skills as a writer, speaker and educator. After exhaustive research, I concluded
that Princeton is the best place to fulfill my needs. Top notch academic programs, combined with an
impressive selection of extracurricular activities, will allow me to develop my full potential both inside and
outside the classroom. I am eager to embrace campus life at the University of Illinois, where I hope to learn
and grow in an environment that encourages creativity and independent thinking. With my unique
experiences, I will bring a fresh voice and an international viewpoint to all of my classroom discussions.
1) Describe Your Favorite Hobby or Extracurricular Activity
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University, Bowdoin College and Amherst College.
I've loved dogs since before I was born. My parents have always been avid dog breeders, and my mother
likes to tell the story that she read fables to me during her pregnancy with our prize weimaraner, Hunter,
sitting by her feet. I can't confirm that, but I don't remember a time when Hunter and his three siblings didn't
share my bedroom, play area and sand box.
My parent's passion for dogs rendered our house a disaster area to those who didn't share their devotion.
While Hunter and his brood were champion show dogs, we didn't restrict them to crates or to a pen in the
back yard. They were considered family and they lived with us in the house. This was unsettling to non-
canine lovers, who viewed with disdain our pups sleeping on the bed and watching television on the recliner.
I was the dog's devoted owner and never understood the problem.
When I was seven, I began attending dog shows with my mother and Hunter. While mom did most of the
training, I was impressed with the skill set that Hunter possessed and was always delighted when he won a
prize or at least placed in the hunting dog division. He won best of show at the Kal-Kan Mid-Atlantic Finals
when I was eight and barked appreciably when my mother accepted the prestigious winner's cup. He
definitely knew that he had done well. My mother's early success with Hunter was graceful and misleading.
His victories seemed effortless, suggesting that he had miraculously trained himself and needed no
assistance from her. I soon learned how false this was!
At age 12, I accepted responsibility for training Hunter's gifted daughter, Misty. She was a striking silver gray
beauty, with a feisty personality and exceptional muscularity and bone structure. She was the first pup from
several litters who shouted "show quality". I knew from watching my mom exactly how to train her for
competition in the show ring. I saw my mom successfully train earlier pups to use the crate, learn to fetch,
and to hold a point. Weimaraners are natural hunters and will follow a scent for miles, even after
bloodhounds lose it. With the properly scented training tools, weimaraners can be trained to do anything.
Unfortunately, no one told Misty this. She was disinterested in the duck-scented training tools and
stubbornly refused to fetch a ball. She cried when crated and seemed to lack the attention span for holding
a point. After several weeks of working with her, I was crushed. I couldn't understand what I was doing
wrong and I was losing my patience with Misty. I worked with her for an additional week before seeking
advice from my mother.
My mom laughed heartedly and gave me a big hug when she heard my frustration. My earnest expression
had frightened her and she feared that there might be something really wrong with Misty, rather than just
training-resistance. Mom proceeded to confide several of her own frustrating experiences with earlier dogs.
She described puppies who didn't know how to swim and who were afraid of cats. Puppies who would use
their scent-tracting gift to identify people but seemed oblivious to actual wildlife in the yard. She had one
exceptionally well-trained dog who seemed ready for competition, then choked while in the show ring. I
learned that Hunter's success was a rare and wonderful moment in decades of dog training.
Like people, all dogs have different skills and talents. Few are true champions and only one in a million will
be like Hunter. But every weimaraner has a unique quality worth cultivating. Some will be loyal pets, while
others will be avid hunters. A few will be excellent breeders and sire new generations of show quality dogs.
Our role as trainers isn't to always win, but to identify each dog's particular strength and give him the proper
environment in which to shine.
I continually use advice from my mother's pep talk as I train new puppies. Misty never did learn the skills
required for showing, but she's an excellent mother who has produced three show-quality dogs. I personally
trained two of them and won a third place finish at the 1998 Westminster Dog Show in New York City. We've
shown the videotape of the event to everyone who will watch it, and they all mention how easy and effortless
it looks. I know better and so does my mom.
Breeding and showing dogs is a wonderful hobby with many social and emotional rewards. But to do it long
term, you must measure success by criteria other than ribbons and prize cups. I think the greatest pleasures
in the world are the unconditional love from each dog and the joy I get in bonding with them in training. Any
external validation we receive is purely just gravy on the kibble!
This applicant was accepted by Georgetown University and Stanford University.
My favorite extracurricular activity is the debate team, which I first joined as a high school freshman. I
moved to a new school that year and was a shy, withdrawn young girl who wasn't quite sure where I would fit
in. My guidance counselor, Ms. Evans, suggested that the debate team might bring me out of my shell and
help me to make friends. She had no idea what a monster she was creating.
My first few days on the debate team didn't look promising. I was still painfully shy, and was constantly told
to "Speak up" because no one could hear me. I still remember turning beet red with embarrassment when
our coach, Dr. Jones, told me I sounded like a guppy who was swimming downstream. Everyone else
seemed so confident and self-assured. I didn't really feel that I fit in.
Dr. Jones thought the problem was a lack of conviction. While I was always well-prepared for the debates, I
didn't seem to really care about the topics, making it hard to sway observers to my side. He finally
suggested that I personally select the topic for our next debate. The only condition was that that it had to be
something I felt passionately about. I chose AIDS awareness.
When we debated the topic the following week , my fellow students thought an alien being had taken over
my body. I argued in favor of AIDS education with more fire and energy than they had ever seen. I politely
discredited every argument the other side made against my points and had facts to back up my assertions.
Long after my teammates were tiring of the subject, I was still smoking.
Dr. Jones approached me after the debate and asked where the enthusiasm had come from. I explained to
the entire group why AIDS awareness was so important to me. My younger cousin Jane had contracted it
from a blood transfusion at age nine and had recently died at age fifteen. I was painfully aware of the
ignorance and discrimination that surround AIDS and I can champion the cause better than anyone else. Dr.
Jones consoled me on my loss and gave me advice for excelling in debate: to use my passion, my passion
for Jane, to fuel every debate I'm in. He assured me that if I infused every argument with the same emotion
and preparation as I did for AIDS, the winner's trophy would be mine.
I took those words to heart. That first AIDS debate was three years ago and I'm still on the debating team.
Dr. Jones is still our coach and I've used his advice every day. I research every topic well and come well-
prepared to argue either side. When my back is against the wall, I fight back with the same energy I gave for
AIDS awareness. We don't win every debate, but we win a lot and with a ton of conviction.
A wonderful side benefit is that my fellow debaters have become good friends. After sharing my cousin's
death with them, they opened up about their lives, and I felt privileged to know about their cares and
concerns. I'm a more confident, caring woman because of my debating experience and I recommend it to
anyone who seeks to improve their speaking skills. If you find your passion and bring it to every debate, you
will be a natural.
3) Discuss Your Favorite Hobby or Extracurricular Activity
This applicant was accepted by Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania.
My favorite childhood memories include several visits to Fenway Park to watch the Boston Red Sox. Like
my father, I've always been a diehard baseball fan, first as a spectator and later as a participant. I don't
know if baseball can truly be in your blood, but I suspect it inhabits at least a few strands of my DNA. I knew
at age six that I wanted to join the Boston Red Sox. I loved sitting high in the bleachers with my dad,
sweating in the intense 90 degree heat, wiping sweat from our brows as we cheered the Sox on. It didn't
matter if they won or lost, as long as they gave it their all. We were loyal fans and supported the team in foul
weather and bad seasons, long after they were eliminated from pennant consideration. I'd tumble into bed
exhausted those nights, confident that in twenty years I would be on the other side of the turnstile as a player
for my favorite team.
I'm not there yet, but I'm still an avid fan and player. I've played baseball at every available opportunity since
I was seven. I joined the peewee division at my elementary school in second grade and moonlighted on a
church team on Sundays. In middle school, I perfected my catching skills at summer baseball camp in
Taunton, and began high school as a smirking, over-confident rookie at Sr. Xavier High. My parents enrolled
me in the school because it has a strong math and science program, but I was more impressed by its athletic
facilities. I also believed it has positive baseball karma. Wade Boggs graduated from St. Xavier's, and I felt
confident that lighting would, indeed, strike twice there. I would improve my game and the scouts would
know where to find me.
Oh, the dreams of youth! It hasn't been easy, but I believe that I'm slowly growing into a good player. Every
game pits me against new opponents and I learn something from every player. Whether it's a new batting
style or throwing technique, everybody's got an edge, and I love to discover new ones. My coach uses me
mostly as a pitcher and on first base, although I'd love to try my hand at the outfield. I don't seriously think
the majors will come for me, but I'd love to continue playing the game in college.
I've gained many incredible benefits from playing baseball. I'm in terrific physical shape and have developed
a disciplined training regimen. I abstain from all chemical vices and surround myself with other athletes who
do the same. I've made some great friends on the field, sharing tips and techniques from guys I'd never got
to know any other way. And I never have trouble finding company for those summertime evening jaunts to
Fenway Park.
I'm seventeen now, but I've never outgrown my love for watching professional baseball. A few things have
changed. I can't eat as many hot dogs as before, and I need to wear sunblock to ward off the intense solar
rays. But otherwise, I'm still the young overexcited fan, cheering his team on and trying to learn some hot
tricks from the pros. It often inspires some fantasies. In my real life, I'm looking forward to playing college
baseball and bringing my love of the game to Harvard. But in my wildest dreams, I'm the next Wade
Boggs, pitching that perfect game on the celebrated dirt mound in Fenway Park. For those few hours of
game time, sitting in the bleachers, transfixed by the magic of the game, I can almost believe that it's
possible.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Stanford University and Yale University.
I can't begin to explain how reading has enriched my life. I live in a small fishing village called Lancaster,
200 miles northeast of Anchorage, Alaska. It's strictly a fishing and mining town with a year-long population
of 424. We're a loyal, self-sufficient group, and count among our ranks five teachers, an architect, two
medical doctors and a dentist. Unfortunately, we are over three hours from the nearest city, limiting our
access to most cultural events, athletics and other typical extracurricular activities.
That's where reading comes in. My local forefathers were an industrious bunch, who savored their
independence yet acknowledged the need to augment the town's resources. I share their perspective about
Lancaster being a mixed blessing. We have peace and serenity in our isolation, but we otherwise lack
essential stimulation from the "lower 49". In 1977, a small group of locals, including my newly married
parents, solicited funds from our county seat in Anchorage to finance the first local library. They negotiated a
lease for a 400 square foot trailer on the northeast corner of our town square. Since June of 1978, 223 Main
Street has been our local library and it's my favorite place in the world.
The library has only one paid employee and operates strictly with volunteers. I've worked there for free since
I was fourteen, carding books, organizing shelves and serving patrons. My greatest achievement has been
reading nearly every book we have. Through the power of literature, l feel that I've visited and experienced
places far away from rural Lancaster. I began at age six with the Nancy Drew mystery series. I was amazed
at her cunning and skill and her ability to reason her way out of any situation. By age ten I had progressed to
the Alice Dwyer series that chronicles a family's journey across Europe during the World Wars. The stories
moved me beyond belief, magically bringing to life the history lessons I was taking in school. While my
classes required me to memorize dates, names and battles, the Dwyer books introduced a human
perspective to the events, and made me consider the devastating effects of each battle on the people who
lived there. They also gave me a new respect for our soldiers who fought in the war.
Since my freshman year in high school, I have been thoroughly enraptured by Shakespeare. While I found
his style intimidating at first, I have come to love his eloquent prose. I also marvel at how classic his work is.
How many other authors produced characters and stories so universal in appeal that we remember them
after more than two centuries? Who else but Shakespeare could redefine our language, introducing new
words, phrases and cliches? My life would have a terrible void without his work.
Sadly, state funding is limited and we are always faced with the challenge of fighting for our library. This
past year, I assumed a more administrative role and added fundraising to my list of achievements. I
solicited donations from townspeople and conducted used book drives in three surrounding towns. I also
developed an inter-library loan program in the county, increasing our access to previously unavailable titles.
I appreciate how reading has broadened my life, and I want the younger children in town to reap that benefit
as well.
I can't imagine the excitement I'll feel when I first visit Harvard's libraries. I am awestruck by the possibility of
having access to over a million titles in hundreds of disciplines. I know firsthand the power of the written
word to transform lives. It has greatly broadened mine. It's given me the confidence to leave Lancaster,
knowing that I am as educated and well-versed in cultural and world events as someone in Paris. As long as
I can read, I can travel anywhere, learn anything and enjoy the wisdom of brilliant authors throughout history.
Whenever I have spare time, you can find me at the library.
5) Describe Your Favorite Hobby of Extracurricular Activity
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University, Yale University and the Boston Conservatory.
I first picked up a violin at age six and haven't put it down since. Well, maybe to bathe and to sleep, but
otherwise, I'm committed to playing it for the rest of my life. Surprisingly, I'm not a child prodigy or even from
a musical family. I began playing the violin because I saw it on television and begged my mother to let me
try it. She acquiesced, thinking it was an impulse, a short-lived lark. Twelve years later, we're still
screeching along.
My first lesson certainly didn't suggest that I was a professional musician in the making. I found the violin
difficult to handle and even harder to play. But I knew from my first lesson that this was the instrument for
me. I was transfixed my my teacher's beautiful, haunting melodies and I yearned to reproduce them. I
began a romance with musical instrument that would change my life.
My parents always supported my passion, no matter how loud and screechy my practice sessions.
Sometimes I get stuck on a piece and can master it only by playing the same six or seven chords repeatedly.
My brother handles these phases with industrial quality ear plugs, while my parents have become immune.
At my loudest moments, they console themselves with the knowledge that it's at least classical music.
"Better than that awful heavy metal stuff" my dad will say. I don't have the heart to tell him that the Stones
tour with a full orchestra.
It's an epiphany for me to master a new piece and to perform it for a receptive audience. I perform with two
groups on a regular basis: my high school band and the Broward County Junior Symphony. The symphony,
in particular, challenges me as a musician and provides opportunities to play with others who share my
passion. I've performed in their statewide Christmas concert series for the past three seasons. We play a
difficult twenty number set of both traditional carols and international holiday pieces. I have a short solo in
three numbers that is particularly nerve-racking. It requires me to focus only on my bow and its careful
dance with the string, producing a haunting resonance that I can feel right down in my soul. For a split
second after I complete it correctly, I feel the equal of Heifetz or Perlman. What a thrill!
I look forward to continuing my musical training at Yale and hope to audition for your orchestra's string
section. You have many talented teachers and musicians and I am delighted at the possibility of learning
from them. My only request is a roommate who appreciates the constant practice of an obsessive, but
lighthearted violinist. If that's not possible, can you direct me to a reasonable place to buy ear plugs?
1) If Asked For a Reference, What Will Your College Peers and Professors Say About You?
This applicant was accepted at Duke University and Dartmouth College.
In addition to discussing my academic strengths, my references will also give a realistic

assessment of my character and personality. My pre-medical advisor will cite my excellence in science and
my strong laboratory skills. He will acknowledge my strong commitment to the field, as demonstrated by my
completion of the most difficult courses available. He will also confirm my willingness to obtain clinical
training through internships and volunteer positions at local hospitals and clinics.
My basketball coach will document my athletic prowess, my willingness to adhere to a rigid training
regimen and my demonstrated commitment to teamwork. Athletics provide a powerful balance to the stress
of academia, along with an opportunity to interact with fellow athletes. My coach will also discuss my
volunteer summer coaching for inner city children in Chicago. In addition to improving my physical fitness,
coaching enhances my sense of optimism and gives me a positive way to interact with teenagers. I love
working with future basketball stars, giving back to the sport the same enthusiasm, dedication and support
that my childhood coaches gave me.
Peer references will confirm that I am an easygoing guy who knows how to succeed, both in the
classroom and on the basketball court. I'd also like to think they would say I was an honest man and a good
friend. I try to bring honor and class to everything I do. I treat people the way I want to be treated, and have
gathered a loyal group of friends. While my career is important to me, so are my family and friends. Without
their love and support, the successes are extremely hollow.
This applicant was accepted at Bowdoin College, Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania.
As an undergraduate from Yale, I will be remembered as an excellent student with a passion for science and
medicine. My interest in organic chemistry, biochemistry and engineering inspired my decision to enter a
health-related career. During my training at Yale, I will discover my unique talents and develop them to the
best of my ability. I will be remembered as an energetic scientist and researcher who accepted great
challenges and achieved aggressive goals.
My peers at Yale will be my fellow students, faculty members and advisors. All will remember me as a loyal
friend, an enthusiastic person and a dedicated student. In addition to performing well in my classes, I plan to
teach and assist professors with scientific research. These endeavors will make me a better scientist and
make a lasting contribution to the school. Through our collaborative research projects, my professors will
discover my sincerity, strong work ethic and commitment to excellence. Our contributions to science and
medicine will be published in journal articles for peer review.
My fellow students will remember my academic success and my commitment to helping others. I will be a
patient tutor, an excellent teacher and an exemplary role model for new students. During stressful times, I
will lighten the mood with my sense of humor and my willingness to take risks. I will eagerly participate in
technical discussions and seminars, asking intelligent questions and joining in lively debates. Blessed with
strong self-confidence, I don't fear making mistakes or appearing foolish. As I gain exposure to new fields
and technologies, I will be an aggressive proponent of new research techniques. My personal contribution
will honor Yale' fine reputation for state-of-the-art medical research.
My strongest professional reference will be from Professor H. Jamison in the Department of Medical
Science, my supervisor during summer internships and the coordinator of my independent research
program. In both my personal and professional endeavors, Dr. Jamison is an inspiring role model. With his
encouragement, I will fully develop my academic potential and learn to aggressively tackle scientific
challenges. Dr. Jamison will remember me as a standout in the large pool of distinguished scientists and
professionals in the Yale community.
Through my casual participation in sports, my friends will remember me as a gregarious guy who loved to
have fun and be physically fit. My strongest impact on campus will be my commitment to working with new
students in the student outreach program. Through mentoring and guidance, I will help new freshmen
maximize their academic potential and find their niche on campus. In addition to developing my leadership
and organizational skills, mentoring will also provide a tremendous sense of personal satisfaction. Yale
enjoys a strong reputation for nurturing the unique talents of each student. As an upperclassman, I will give
back to the campus community the same enthusiasm and support I initially received.
Ultimately, my reference letters from my college professors will be in support of my candidacy for an
academic or industrial position in science or medicine. I am certain that they will remember me as a talented
scientist, a dedicated researcher and a genuinely nice person. They will cite my academic success and
independent research, along with my strong interpersonal skills and nurturing disposition. With my positive
mental attitude and dedication to succeed, I will be perceived as a valuable contributor to my profession and
a strong candidate for future success.
This applicant was accepted at Dartmouth College, Bowdoin College and Temple University.
My references will be for entrance into dental school, which has been my lifelong dream. My professors will
describe me as an excellent student, a good scientist and a curious and innovative thinker. With a dual
major in chemistry and physics, I will be highly visible in the Clarke Science building, taking classes,
conducting research and writing original papers on my findings.
As a legacy at Dartmouth, I will follow in my mother's footsteps by pledging the Tri-Delt sorority. I will also
support her favorite charity, the Big Sister program on campus, befriending young women in the local
community. I plan to form strong personal friendships with my classmates, sorority sisters, fellow volunteers
and little sisters. I am sure they will remember me as a smart girl with a big heart, a spirited sense of
humor and a soft spot for 70's disco music.
A highly motivated self-starter, I give 110% to everything I do. My goal is to positively influence every life I
touch, both personally and academically. My references will confirm this sincerity and highly recommend me
for whatever dental program I choose.
This applicant was accepted at Princeton University, Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania.
I plan to make the most of my four years at Princeton, majoring in English Literature and exploring
my outside interests in writing and debating. My references will confirm my passion for academics,
particularly history, politics and the social sciences. I love to debate current events and world issues and will
be a lively contributor to my classes. Hopefully, my professors will cite my individuality, my articulate
demeanor and my exceptional writing skills.
As a member of the debating team, I will make friends with many like-minded students from all over
the world. As we sharpen our reasoning and public speaking skills, we will also become good friends and
cherished confidants. My peers will describe me as a loyal friend, a good listener and a classic movie buff.
Close friends particularly value my irreverent sense of humor and strong sense of adventure. They also
know that my "social persona" is simply one aspect of my personality. While my gregarious nature often
makes me the center of attention, in my private time, I actually prefer the company of just a few close
friends.
One of my strongest references will be the editor of the campus newspaper, where I plan to write
stories and be a featured reporter. I've been an excellent writer my entire life and am considering a career in
journalism. My work on my high school paper (the Crimson Blaze) suggests that I have a gift for satire and
subtle persuasiveness. I plan to further develop this talent through regular contributions to Princeton's daily
newspaper.
A Princeton education is a lifelong dream for me, as both of my parents are legacies. While their
contribution to the campus was in medicine, mine will be as an excellent writer, debater, student and friend.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Brown University and Columbia University.
My references will confirm my unique contribution to Brown University. As one of the few Buddhist women
on campus, I will be a recognizable presence to everyone I meet. I will be remembered for my ability to
thrive in a diverse, cosmopolitan environment. During my high school years, I lived and worked in a
wonderfully refreshing California community. I learned that everyone has unique talents and must take risks
to discover and cultivate them. My years at Brown will be dedicated to aggressively exploring my talents in
art and music. Peers will be inspired by my commitment to pursuing my dreams, even if it means others
witness my failures.
From my professors' standpoint, my metamorphosis will begin during my first college art class. Here, I
confirm my love for painting and sculpture, spending many productive hours in the studio. After my
freshman year, I will begin to show my work at the Westminster Art Show on campus, selling an occasional
piece and receiving positive feedback from critics. In my senior year, I will begin to work part-time as a
teaching assistant in the art studio, mixing paints, preparing the kiln and helping students. When I watch
beginners struggle with basic concepts, I will realize how far my talent and skills had evolved over my four
years of study.
My artistic success will inspire me to pursue other leadership positions. I will start a Buddhist Awareness
Council on campus and become the group's first president. I will dedicate several hours a week to
promoting awareness for Eastern religions on campus, meeting new friends and expanding my own religious
perspective. I will learn to develop better time management skills to juggle my multiple interests. I will
master the huge challenge of maintaining academic success, contributing to the school community and
pursuing personal friendships. During a visit to India, I will renew my interest in transcendental meditation
(TM), which increases my concentration and improves my sense of optimism. When I return home, I will
used TM principles to maintain a comprehensive schedule that balances my extracurricular activities and my
class work.
Collegiate success will have a miraculous effect upon my self-esteem and my willingness to take further
risks. My references will cite my metamorphosis into a multi-dimensional person who can balance diverse
interests. They will praise my artistic endeavors and my proclivity for teaching, along with my strong spiritual
nature. I will graduate from college a strong, independent woman who pursues her ambitions with honor.
By taking risks and facing my fears, I will transform my former mesh of seemingly-unattainable dreams into a
wonderful reality. With courage and will power, I will continue to attack new challenges and enjoy a lifetime
of opportunities for personal exploration.
1. Describe a situation or experience in which you exercised leadership, responsibility and /or
judgment, indicating the impact on your development.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Yale University and Columbia University.
While studying on a full scholarship at the Draver School in London, I organized a Business Development
Club to investigate opportunities in the flourishing British economy. I quickly discovered the challenges
required to motivate, attract, and change the mindset of others.
After taking language and cultural awareness classes at school, I realized there were significant economic
opportunities outside the campus walls. People from all over the world came to profit from the openness and
huge potential of the British market. A host of small business entrepreneurs from China were attracted to
the abundance of cheap consumer products, ranging from the greeting cards to consumer electronics and
apparel. Their goal was to obtain cheap consumer goods to feed the hungry Chinese markets in their
respective towns and cities.
I used my language and communication skills to contact both British and Chinese business owners. They
eagerly embraced me as someone with a sound knowledge of both cultures and languages. I initially served
as a liaison, listening to their concerns and business needs. Because the Chinese buyers lacked knowledge
of the British culture and business practices, they limited their dealings to a series of quick trips to the citys
biggest outdoor marketplace. The cheap merchandise was guaranteed, but the buyers were unable to
negotiate a good long-term deal or find a reliable partner. The composition of the goods changed constantly,
destabilizing the chances of establishing long-term business relationships.
After exploring the city's environment, I decided to take initiative. I realized that long-term business deals
would be beneficial to both the British and Chinese, but that they needed a forum in which to communicate. I
designed my Business Development Club as a resource for them. The club provided a way for both British
and Chinese small businessmen to meet, exchange offers and suggestions, obtain help with translation, and
to evaluate potential partners.
My first step was to present the idea to the small body of Chinese students at the Draver School. Speaking
with enthusiasm to the small (but diverse) body, I gained their commitment by pointing out their opportunities
to network and make money. We were all eager to add to the insufficient scholarship funds. I then made a
presentation to the Chinese Consulate General in London. Despite their focus on high-profile diplomatic
errands and grand-scale business enterprises, they were nevertheless very interested in the idea of helping
small businesses. I convinced them that the club would benefit the British / Chinese trade relationship and
would give the Consulate an opportunity to monitor the activities of Chinese businesses that were previously
outside their reach. While making my presentation, I realized that I was ready to take personal responsibility
for the success of the project.
The Consulate allocated funds to buy a computer, create a database and establish an expense account.
They also provided a mentor for the project and all the information that the club needed. My efforts were
ultimately a huge success: I united two groups of small business people who enjoyed a great mutual gain.
The active engagement in the group encouraged new ideas and the pursuit of new opportunities. As my
term in the country approached an end, I became a coordinator for the group, passing my initial
responsibilities to other members. By the time I left, my role was mainly to praise the other members for
their contributions, to reduce tension and to clarify ideas.
This experience greatly increased my confidence in my abilities. I realized the need to understand what
motivates people, to cater to their interests and to provide a personal example of high energy. I also realized
the power that one person has to initiate a good idea that will help others. When people are excited about
what they are doing, and see the mutual benefits, they are more committed to a project's success.
This applicant was accepted at Bowdoin College, Brown University and Cornell University.
During my junior year, I completed an elective course dedicated to implementing a project that we deemed
necessary for the school. In years past, the school administrators took the projects created by the class
under advisement, making lasting improvements to our campus. For our project, we decided to revise the
current parking policies and structures at the school. Many students couldn't find parking on campus, while
other parked without authorization. In addition, there was an imbalance in the size of the parking lots versus
those who were allowed to use them. I was chosen to lead the project for the class.
As the quarter winded down, we were immersed in our cost analysis and the long-term benefits to
the university. As project leader, I coordinated the group's efforts and guided them through a final stressful
weekend. When we presented our results, the school administrators were intrigued by our suggestion to use
the abandoned football stadium for overflow parking. The land was free, readily available and easy to
access. For the cost of a few signs, the campus parking capacity could potentially increase by 150%. Our
principal used our analysis to convince the school board to fund the project. Just three weeks later, the old
abandoned football stadium was a bustling, heavily-used parking lot. I was proud to be associated with such
a practical and beneficial project.
The project taught me how to carefully establish goals and to outline the means to achieve them. I
also learned how to plan my work to reach a short-term deadline. Although we conducted a feasibility study
in our initial planning, we were overly optimistic for the timing required for several key steps. We completed
the project in the allotted time by pooling our resources and working as a cohesive unit. This was my first
experience as a group leader and a great foundation for my future efforts as a student leader on campus.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Temple University, Cornell University and Columbia
University.
Moms Unlimited is a free counseling program that I helped to create in 1997 for young, unmarried
pregnant teens in the San Francisco Bay Area. From my volunteer work as a Big Sister, I knew several
pregnant teens who yearned to keep their infants, but lacked the basic skills to care for them properly. With
help from my mother (a pediatrician), I formed Moms Unlimited as a free resource both during their
pregnancies and throughout their difficult first year of parenthood. I raised awareness for the program
throughout the Bay Area by making presentations at high schools, college campuses and at typical teen
hangouts in the city. I solicited donations from local businesses and women's groups, who were generous
with their time, expertise and money. After a slow start, Moms Unlimited developed a great reputation
around the city and we raised over a hundred thousand dollars. After four years of continuous growth, we
have 55 volunteers and over 300 pregnant young women participating in the program.
My program succeeded because it provides a valuable service to a traditionally ignored segment of
society. Most people agree philosophically that young mothers need emotional support, but no one took the
initiative to develop a program aimed especially at teens. I've met several wonderful women and babies who
got a head start in life because Moms Unlimited listened to their concerns, answered their questions, and
validated their stress during diffiicult times. We provide a comprehensive array of services (GED classes,
instruction in baby care, nutrition classes, job hunting skills, anger management classes, etc) in a supportive,
non-judgmental environment. Many of our initial clients finished high school and are now enrolled in college.
Several are now volunteers themselves, sharing with others the skills and lessons they learned from us.
While I started Moms Unlimited as a social resource, I also discovered my professional calling. I
enjoy working with young mothers and children who need assistance. I plan to pursue a career in social
work or psychology, to combine my interest in emotional health with the delivery of practical solutions and
human services. Throughout my career, I plan to pursue similar entrepreneurial and volunteer opportunities
in the public sector. My commitment to Moms Unlimited enables me to enrich the lives of young women
and their children in a unique manner. As a college student, I will share what I learned about creating a non-
profit a social enterprise and its positive effect in my community.
This applicant was accepted at Columbia University and the University of Pennsylvania.
In addition to my dedication to my schoolwork, I am also committed to a one-woman entrepreneurial venture.

Art has been my passion since I was a young child, yet I never thought I could earn my living selling beads
or hand painted T-shirts. Casual visits to local flea markets suggested otherwise. Here in South Florida,
there is a terrific market for seashore-related items. Tourists love handcrafted gifts that are decorated with
seashells, animal prints and tropical motifs. Capitalizing on this theme, I started a small internet / mail order
business to market my custom-made belts, earrings and necklaces worldwide.
I started with just a few hundred dollars and a Saturday afternoon kiosk at our local flea market. I made
several samples and plowed all the profits directly back into the business. I also developed a fully-functional
e-commerce web site to offer my goods to a global audience. During the past year, I've enjoyed brisk sales
and have identified a few highly profitable product lines.
Although I started the business as a way to pursue my passion for art, I quickly learned that there was much
more to running a business than handling my glue gun. I learned how to source inexpensive supplies,
negotiate volume discounts and handle customer questions and suggestions. I developed excellent time
management skills, balancing the busy holiday season with my winter exam schedule. I also learned how
paper-intensive my business is, filing a business tax return for the first time in 2000. While I enjoy the
financial success of my venture, I am certain I have a lot to learn before I earn my first million!
Yet I've definitely been bitten by the "entrepreneurial bug" and am eager to expand my current business.
During my winter break, I will make more samples, print a glossy catalogue and solicit interest from local
wholesalers in my area. I'll promote my work at trade shows and craft fairs, where national buyers often
search for unique, one-of-a-kind pieces. I'll also beef up my web site, advertise on eBay and become a
moderator for jewelry-related chat rooms. Although my free time is limited, I will exhaust every possible step
to achieve entrepreneurial success and go to bed each night with the satisfaction that I gave it my best shot.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Dartmouth College and Brown University.
As a child, I made excuses to avoid working at the soup kitchen on Sunday afternoons. I would fake a fever,
headache or a homework emergency to dodge my family's four-hour shift in the pantry. My fathers patient
response was always the same: You must give back to the community whatever blessings you have."
Although I didn't appreciate it as a child, my commitment to humanitarian causes is directly attributable to my
father.
His altruism inspired my greatest achievement, the Learning Cove, a free mobile library that serves rural,
underprivileged children. Acknowledging the world of opportunities afforded by reading, I desperately
wanted to provide the gift of books to those who lacked access to a public library. The Learning Cove
started on a shoestring budget and grew into a thriving, community enterprise. My initial role was as
champion of the program, soliciting donations and help from fellow students in my school. We conducted
fundraisers to buy a used van and solicited donations of books, tapes, magazines and periodicals form
businesses and citizens throughout our community. I worked in conjunction with my school librarian to label
and bind the books and learn the Dewey decimal system. In just three months, we recruited weekly drivers
for the van and volunteers to service our customers. We now have weekly runs to seven small towns on the
outskirts of Kansas City and 2,000 volumes in circulation. My personal goal is to add another thousands
volumes to our "stacks" during my senior year.
Starting the program was a challenging experience which resulted in a positive effect on the lives of
hundreds of rural children. I am committed to continuing community service work throughout my life, both to
benefit others and to honor my father's fine example.
1. Political Activism
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Bowdoin College and Brown University.
An unexpected social consequence of the September 11 attacks was the discouragement of

political discourse. Unlike the free-thinking 60's and 70's, when debate was actively encouraged, our current
administration is quick to label any dissenters of the war in Iraq as "unpatriotic" or "soft on terror." As a
teenager coming of age in a post-9/11 world, I became frustrated by a pervasive sense of disempowerment.
As a result, I decided to keep the President abreast of the thoughts of at least one dissenting voice.
Each morning, I log into my homepage at www.cnn.com, which provides the latest headlines for
U.S. and international news. After browsing the articles and editorials, I look for the most compelling piece
on the war in Iraq. Rarely a day goes by without a healthy assessment of our progress (or lack of it), along
with dissenting viewpoints about the safety of our troops and the viability of our so-called exit strategy.
When I find a well-written article that presents a logical dissent from of the administration's position, I email it
to President Bush and Vice President Cheney at president@whitehouse.gov and
vice.president@whitehouse.gov, respectively.
Contrary to public opinion, I always receive a response; within a matter of minutes, the White
House sends back an auto-reply that thanks me for my letter. They also provide a link to the official White
House website, where I can send additional comments to Dina Jenkins, the Secretary of Communications,
and Harold Bodinger, my state representative. I use the links to send a suitable postscript to my original
message, along with my suggestions to Rep. Bodinger for how to handle the "local angle" of the story. The
entire process takes less than five minutes, but provides numerous benefits. First, President Bush gets two
email messages from me every day, which provide intelligent, well-documented reasons for my opposition to
the war in Iraq. Second, I also raise my concerns with my local representative, who can champion my views
on the House floor. Third, by thoroughly analyzing the content on the CNN site, I keep abreast of crucial
national and international events, which makes me a better citizen.
My cynical friends are quick to tell me that my efforts are fruitless. Although they think that voicing
a dissenting opinion is a complete waste of time, I don't buy it. My messages may not be scrutinized for
details, but they are definitely counted and scanned for dissenting language. They provide the initial spark of
resistance, which, over time, will eventually evolve into a "buzz" or "grumbling" of significant magnitude.
Every great debate in the history of our country started with the courage of one person, who was brave
enough to express a dissenting opinion. I share their commitment to engage in healthy, intelligent political
discourse.
As a seventeen-year-old high school senior, I cannot stop the war, but I can certainly share my
voice with anyone who will listen. Who better than the President?
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Princeton University, Yale University, Brown University
and the University of Chicago.
As an award-winning journalist, my father has written for the Boston Herald for thirty-eight years.
Consequently, my siblings and I have always held a healthy respect for freedom of speech and expression.
From my earliest memory, my parents taught us to view issues with a critical eye and to analyze news
reports for their content, rather than sentiment. As a prospective journalism student, I have always taken
those lessons quite seriously.
The events of September 11, 2001 tested my ability to view the news objectively. Although the
media have always bombarded us with images of suffering, this was different. My city was on fire. My
friends and neighbors ran for their lives. In a split second, I lost every gram of desensitization that my father
had instilled in me. Like many people in the United States, I was glued to my television set for weeks,
watching commentators try to make sense of the devastating events. After watching the bloody massacre
over and over, I went to bed with a deep sense of foreboding about the future.
At the dinner table each evening, my father and I discussed what I had seen on television and why I
was so sad and terrified. To my surprise, he did not share my fear and anxiety. As he ended our
conversation one night, my father advised, "Read more than you watch." Rather than catch the morning
news on television, he suggested that I read the Boston Herald. Unlike the visual reports, which were filled
with emotional images and touching music, the paper was a more objective source of information. It was my
choice, he said, whether or not I lost sight of the truth in the story. If I continued to rely on the emotional
"spin" of network news, I would give the gruesome pictures too much power. In his mind, the words told the
REAL story.
My father was right. After that last sleep-deprived evening, I started to read local and national
newspapers to put the events in their proper social and historical context. Rather than limit my perspective
to that of journalists, I scoured magazines for essays written by theologians, teachers and scientists.
Whenever possible, I ignored the accompanying graphic images to ensure that I focused on the information,
rather than the underlying emotion. Each time I sat down to read, my critical eye became more focused. I
regained my perspective and began to put the terrorist attacks into perspective. Thankfully, for every article
that predicted the world's demise, another heralded its survival. America was down, but not beaten; with
time, energy and healing, we would recover.
Within a few weeks, as my father predicted, I began to sleep better. I had re-claimed my power in a
situation that left the rest of the world feeling powerless. Fortunately, as I read about opportunities for
participation and service, I found a positive outlet for my creative energy. Rather than view myself as a
victim, I began to see myself as a force for change. As the Warren High School chairperson of the 9/11
Relief Mission, I am part of a student organization that promotes peace through tolerance and education.
We are eager to do our part to re-build our community in an environment of hope and peace.
Although I regained my sense of journalistic objectivity, I did not abandon the raw emotion that
accompanied the devastating loss of 9/11. I am still deeply saddened by the images of suffering I see in
nations across the globe. I am still brought to tears by footage of the collapse of the World Trade Center. I
have learned, however, that the real story is not in the pictures, but the details. We only heal when we
absorb the hope and truth of a situation, not when we wallow in emotion. Information is power, which makes
it the strongest tool in a journalist's arsenal. Like my father, I am committed to using my power appropriately,
by disseminating quality information with the highest standards of integrity and skill.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Duke University, the University of Pennsylvania and
Howard University.
When my friend Carmen and I started developing our public access television show, Maryland
Student Activist, we knew we'd be facing pretty stiff challenges. Liberals don't watch public television. The
Internet is dead. George W. Bush is unbeatable. Although the odds were stacked against anyone who
criticized or disagreed with the President, we were both looking for a way to stand up for our beliefs. Public
television was a terrific forum for two teenagers who wanted to participate in intelligent political debate.
Unbeknownst to us, Carmen and I had separately found our way to Save the Feds, the aggressive
antiwar campaign that was raising money and awareness on the Internet. Carmen was intrigued by the
effectiveness of their web site, while I admired the impressive caliber of people who joined the organization.
Clearly, Save the Feds was a great role model that demonstrated how to bring intelligent people together to
speak their conscience.
While planning our debut episode of Maryland Student Activist, Carmen and I each received a
notice that John Kerry was going to speak to Save the Feds members at George Washington University.
Surprisingly, we had never talked about being members of Save the Feds until that day. We attended the
speech together and were heartened to see that dissent was not dead in America.
Inspired by Save the Feds' grassroots success and its astonishing use of the Internet, we doubled
our efforts to launch www.MarylandStudentActivist.com. For most of 2004, we developed the program at a
sound studio in Baltimore. Finally, in late October, we launched a preview website with an audio trailer. The
response to the site was immediate and overwhelming, as we received press coverage in the blogosphere
and over 30,000 emails wishing us well from across the country. The next month, we launched an upgraded
version of the site, complete with the first episode of our show, "Health Care Debacle." In our first six
months, www.MarylandStudentActivist.com received more than 380,000 hits.
As we build our audience, we view the amazing saga of Save the Feds as a recipe that anyone can
follow. Develop a clear message, then publicize it and manage it as it gains public awareness. Use every
tool to spread the word, then harness the energy of enlightenment. After all, some of the most progressive
ideas started as one person's crazy dream.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Princeton University and the University of Chicago.
As a child, my apathy regarding politics was a deliberate backlash against my mother, who was the
most politically active person I knew. Every election year brought a flurry of activity in support or opposition
to a plethora of causes, from abortion and euthanasia to global warming and same-sex marriage.
Regardless of the cause, my mother's position was inevitably impassioned and intractable; she devoted
everything she had to support the candidate who shared her vision for the future. After surviving sixteen
years of her impassioned and idealistic speeches, I have reluctantly concluded that being an activist is not
such a bad thing.
As I approach adulthood, I have a developed a frightening perspective of the problems that my
generation will face if the United States does not make some serious social, financial and political changes.
As I watch the decisions that President Bush makes on our behalf, I'm convinced that he must not be elected
for a second term. To my mother's surprise, I also decided to put some muscle behind my idealism; I
offered to accompany her to a rally for Senator John Kerry in the Bangor area. I had read several articles
about Kerry that convinced me that his combination of great values and leadership experience made him the
best candidate to beat Bush. Although it was the last weekend before finals, I was willing to take a break
from studying Organic Chemistry to support his campaign.
Upon our arrival, we discovered that John Kerry wasn't the only Democratic candidate scheduled to
appear; the convention hall was already filled with zealous supporters for Dick Gephardt, Howard Dean and
Retired General Wesley Clark. Sometimes, our offers of Kerry literature were met with abrupt responses:
"No thanks, l'm for Howard Dean." A few people grudgingly accepted our flyers, but I silently questioned
whether or not we were accomplishing anything. An impromptu conversation changed everything.
Overhearing the man next to me discussing the pros and cons of John Kerry, I offered him more
information. He initially refused, but a few minutes later decided to read my flyer with Bill Clinton's speech
endorsing Kerry. Soon, we were excitedly discussing "our guy's" proposed plan for national health care. An
hour later, John Kerry gave an impassioned speech that literally brought the crowd to its feet. I was
completely energized by the hopeful and humorous political discussions. By the end of the evening, my
mother and I sprinted to the parking lot, proudly wearing our John Kerry buttons.
How amazing I felt that night! After handing out nearly 500 flyers and chatting with dozens of
kindred spirits, I knew that I had made a difference. Even more compelling, I was ready to make a financial
contribution to Kerry's campaign. At the time, I wasn't even thinking what other things that $200 could buy,
like a trip to New York City or a killer outfit from Abercrombie. Before my success at the rally, I felt like my
"contribution" would be insignificant, but I now knew otherwise. Like my mother always said, one person
CAN make a difference. After seeing the commitment and excitement at the rally, I was proud to sacrifice
my hard-earned money to support my candidate of choice. Although I won't be able to vote for two years,
politics directly affects my life, my school and my community. I am honored to make a difference.
This applicant was accepted at Duke University, Columbia University and the University of Pennsylvania.
In June of 2003, I listened to a speech by Democratic presidential candidate Wesley Clark in which
he challenged Democrats to stand up to George W. Bush's reckless policies. Afterwards, I called his
campaign headquarters to see how I could support his efforts. The woman who took my call said there was
no office in Utah, but she suggested I join a local group of Clark supporters.
Soon after I signed up, I got an email from Joe Dorsey, the chairperson of Clark's fledgling Provo
support group. At first, I hedged about attending the gathering; I'd never been involved in politics and didn't
know anyone who planned to attend. The evening of the event, my father shooed me out the door with a
dismissive, "Just go."
The other four attendees were as diverse as they were intelligent: a nursing instructor, a software
engineer, a rabbi and a college professor. Although we had very different backgrounds, we were all
determined to take the country back from the moneyed interests that had hijacked the Republican
administration.
Our first objective was to hold a party fund-raiser during the following month. My job, in addition to
sending out notices, was to clarify the local and federal restrictions about raising money. I called the
national headquarters of the Clark campaign, who quickly explained the rules about money they could and
could not accept. The phone call left me wildly energized. Although I was just a high school student, I was
going to make a difference. I was going to help the Democrats take our country back!
For the first time in my life, I was optimistic about politics. I realized that the "system" could work if
only more people got involved. I was determined to encourage more disenchanted citizens to participate.
Our next meeting had thirty people; the next, eighty-five; the next, just under three hundred. As I
suspected, there were more people like me who were eager to initiate change.
Since then, I've done everything possible to champion Clark's candidacy; I've signed petitions,
voted in the primary and promoted him door-to-door. I was delighted to be one of Clark's youngest and
most vigilant supporters. With each act on his campaign's behalf, I felt like I was doing what I was made to
do.
1. What awards or honors have you have received outside the classroom? Briefly discuss their
significance.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Yale University and the University of Pennsylvania.
As the clock started to tick, the frantic countdown began. Pencils scribbled. Brains clashed. Perspiration
surfaced, challenging even the strongest brand of deodorant. As I searched for a solution to a problem, I
was incredibly tenacious. Think, Josie. Think.
With one minute left, I was stuck. Arghh....... How in the world do I factor these polynomials? Time was
running out, with no miracle in sight. With 30 seconds left, I finally recalled how to solve the last problem,
but the clock was against me. Pencils down! Time for team set!
OK, no problem. Don't panic. I didnt finish, but we'll make up for it in the next round. As I gazed into the
eyes of my fatigued squad, I was determined to motivate the troops. Lets go! Were in World War III with
these other teamslets solve these problems No answer. No reaction. Although I resisted my urge to
sigh, I knew I would have to fight the battle alone...... again. Fortunately, I was up to the challenge.
I gave it every drop of energy I had, using brain cells I didn't know existed. Although the problems were
stunningly complex, I was determined to win. Yet after five excruciating minutes, a voice announced:
Kennedy High is in second place with 129 points Arghit hurts. Second place again.
No, this wasn't a military exercise or even rocket science. This was a grueling match between eight
Mathletes teams in Southern California. A haven for Type-A math geniuses, Mathlete competitions are
serious business. They pit the most talented students from each school against each other in a highly
pressured battle of wits. As captain of my squad, I was determined to win. No polynomial was too
complicated, no trigonometry concept too vague, no word problem too convoluted. I was the woman to
beat.
Whatever the final score (first or last) in any match, I always gave it my best shot, a truly herculean effort.
Yet, in Mathletes, my individual performance was irrelevant. Scores and rankings are tabulated for the
whole team, not for a single member. In this particular match, my individual points couldnt compensate for
those lost by the rest of the squad.
Several teachers wonder why I enjoy Mathletes so much, as the stress is overwhelming. We've won first
place at three regional competitions, but a trophy at the national level continues to elude us. Yet I'm into
Mathletes for its intrinsic rewards, rather than any type of external validation. In addition to challenging my
mind and my profoundly competitive spirit, Mathletes shaped a confident new personality.
After a difficult adjustment to a new high school, I "found myself" when I joined Mathletes. As captain of the
squad, I developed self-confidence, leadership skills and the ability to nurture others. Possibly the greatest
gift I've received through Mathletes is the confidence to endure the greatest failures with poise and dignity.
Some call it character, others call it class, while others call it grace under pressure. Thanks to Mathletes, I
have "it" in spades.
By surviving failure with panache, I have become immune to the risk-aversion and paralysis that prevent
people from testing the limits of their potential. I tackle challenges that others would never consider. I take
pride in our efforts, whether we win or lose. Even if we never win first place, we are already winners in ways
that I never understood before I became a Mathlete.
significance.
This applicant was accepted at Temple University, Vanderbilt University and Northwestern Pennsylvania.
The moment the telephone rang, I knew something was wrong. Throughout the evening, I had a vague
premonition that someone needed my help. Before he learned how to drive, my good friend Joshua made
the mistake of piling five of my closest friends into his father's car for a "quick spin". As expected, the
combination of darkness, ice and underage drinking lead to disaster.
When I reached the accident site, I was thankful to see all of my friends alive and well, but distraught from
the experience. Fortunately, the police officer did not suspect alcohol abuse and did not request that Joshua
take a breathalyzer test. Technically, my friends got off "scot-free". Yet a remark from the mechanic quickly
snapped us back to reality. "You kids are very lucky; most cars destroyed this badly contain corpses." In the
prolonged silence that followed, we acknowledged the significance of the accident: my friends cheated
death that night.
Throughout the rest of the evening, we discussed how vulnerable we suddenly felt. No one is invincible,
including my good friends. In a split second, Joshua made a single bad decision with potentially irreversible
consequences. Despite my initial fears, I kept my composure and offered my friends the support they
deserved. I didn't share my personal thoughts about the true cause of the accident: drunk driving.
Joshua's near-miss made a profound impact on me and reinforced my commitment to Students Against
Drunk Driving (SADD). Although I was already a member of the group, my participation had been limited to
attending an occasional meeting. I never volunteered to be a designated driver and I had certainly never
taken anyone's keys away from them. That all changed. After nearly losing a car full of friends, I was
determined to do everything possible to prevent another senseless accident from underage drinking.
In 2000, I was elected President of Warren High School's SADD chapter and immediately implemented a
zero tolerance policy for alcohol at our Junior and Senior Proms. At both events, I arranged for designated
drivers for anyone who was interested, along with free cab rides home. On graduation night, we
implemented a mandatory breathalyzer test for everyone leaving the building. Fail the test, no keys.
Although harsh, the program received immediate recognition from both local and national news channels.
For my participation, I was named Minnesota's Outstanding High School Senior for 2000 and was later
elected as a Rising Star within the national chapter of SADD.
Although Joshua occasionally teases me about my vigilance, he respects my position on the issue. I also
suspect that I'm a good influence on him, as he's now a regular participant (without coaxing) at SADD
meetings. I hate the thought that I almost lost him, but am grateful for the new outlook his "near miss" had on
my life. Every day is a gift. Although life is filled with unavoidable problems and pitfalls, drinking doesn't
have to be one of them. We all have a responsibility to make good choices. I'm proud to do my part to help
those whose momentary lapses in judgment could be potentially fatal.
significance.
This applicant was accepted at Bowdoin College and the University of Virginia.
Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti, do
A relative novice, I started to play my first musical instrument, an alto saxophone, during my
sophomore year. Dr. Morrow, our band coordinator, ran a tight ship. Even during exam week, she refused
to shorten our mandatory three-hour daily practices. "Band is important, Carly. You cant excel without
practice I was touched by her faith in me as a musician, and I learned to better coordinate my multiple
responsibilities. When I completed my first performance, our successful Christmas concert, I was honored
to be part of such a talented, professional group.
Our performance won first place in the statewide 2001 Christmas band competition. Every moment
of the night was magical. With my music in front of me and my Selmer gold-lacquered saxophone around
my neck, I waited for the signal to start. 1-2-3-4, 2-2-3-4, 3-2-3-4 After 5 rests, I began my part in
Serendipity 2001, completely oblivious to the audience. Lost in the music, I was no longer nervous about
being observed. I drifted into an atmosphere of fantasy, inspired by the beautiful melodies that we
composed. After 5 minutes, I moved on to my second piece, Falsetto Moss
Some say that I am destined to play an instrument, as musical aptitude correlates strongly with my
additional skills in the sciences and foreign languages. Although flattering, this theory neglects the
tremendous commitment of time and energy to become a talented musician. Yet I eagerly embraced the
challenge, learning to read music and to master my hand/eye coordination. I developed the discipline to
repeat the same piece over and over, regardless of my level of frustration. Over time, I came to appreciate
the synergy of the band, in which the collective energy of our group raised our own individual efforts.
I also fell in love with my sax for its therapeutic effect. Whenever I am stressed out, I get immediate
relief by playing. Perhaps this is what inspires the world's great musicians: their ability to use their talent to
inspire a listener's mood, to invoke a precious memory or to generate an invigorating dance beat. As a
budding musician, I share in that magic and yearn to explore its power. Wherever my future leads, I will take
my love of music: to the Yale band, an all-girls jazz group, or maybe as part of a large orchestra. Thanks to
the inspiration of Dr. Morrow, I am determined to follow my muse and enjoy its myriad benefits.
significance.
This applicant was accepted at Yale University, Temple University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Konichiwa
Bonjour
Lee how ma
My friends often speculate about why I became fluent (or semi-fluent) in five different languages.
My answer: Its my nature. Armed with an inquisitive personality, I treasure the artistic and mystical
makeup of different languages, along with the benefits of learning about other cultures.
My passion was publicly rewarded in December of 2001, when I received a Citizen's Gold Star from
New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. Following the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, I
responded to an urgent call for volunteers who spoke Japanese, French, English and Vietnamese. A rare
"quadruple threat" in languages, I received permission to leave school and answer the mayor's call. For five
days, I served as a translator for survivors, rescue workers and family members who were interrogated by
the police and FBI. Immersed in a horrific situation, I fought valiantly to hide my emotions. Although I
couldn't eliminate the terror, my ability to speak the same language as the family members seemed to bring
them comfort during those bleak hours.
Ironically, my own bi-lingual lifestyle originated in fear. In September of 1990, my mother forced me
into a first grade classroom, ignoring my plaintive cries. Mamadont goMamadont leave me!
Armed with only a few basic English phrases (sorry, please, hello), I began my formal education in an
English-speaking school. Although I didn't appreciate it at the time, I had a gift for languages, which
became my salvation. Within a year, I became fluent in English, while maintaining my fluency in Chinese.
By the time I reached high school, I was ready to embrace the French language and culture. In subsequent
years, I studied Vietnamese and Japanese, which preserve my connection to my Asian roots.
Occasionally, I am overwhelmed by the five languages that compete for space in my brain. As I
sleep, a verb that I want to conjugate in French may manifest in Japanese! Yet I am motivated by the
opportunities available to those who speak multiple languages and appreciate different cultures: the more
people I meet, the larger and more satisfying my world.
significance.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University, Cornell University and Princeton University.
EhhJhana, youre sick. Stop it! I beg you to stop, please. Dont do it to Mr. Whiskers!
Overwhelmed by curiosity, I ignored my lab partner's plea and forced open the skull of our fetal cat.
Although it wasn't part of our lab assignment, I simply had to see the cat's brain. Lacking surgical tools, I
opened its skull with the strength of my hands and the persistence of my heart. After five long minutes, I
exposed the cat's brain. Thirty seconds later, our whole class gathered around my lab table to glimpse the
horrific scene.
Needless to say, I am fascinated by science. As a young child, I took apart appliances to

understand how they worked, leaving a trail of knobs, screws and batteries throughout our house. Blessed
with a curious nature, I appreciate the intricacies of work-saving devices that others take for granted.
Through physics and math classes, I've learned how my car engine runs and what powers my computer. I
am particularly mesmerized by the human body, a perfect orchestration of genetics, DNA and cell functions.
Despite the body's exquisite design, just a slight irregularity in any organ or system can cause a potentially
life-threatening condition.
My passion for science inspired me to enter several science fairs throughout New York and
Connecticut. My paper on acid rain won first place in the 2001 New York State Science Fair and placed third
in the national competition. In September of 2002, I won a Westinghouse Science Award for my research on
temporary potassium deficiency in long-distance female runners. With my advisor's help, my paper was
accepted for publication in Lancet, a respected British medical journal.
My goal is to pursue a career in medical research, beginning with a biochemistry degree at Cornell.
With my inquisitive mind and passion for science, I will pursue my college studies with the same zeal I
brought to my high school anatomy lab. True advancements often require going the extra mile, by opening
a cat's brain or resolving ambiguous data points. I am eager to accept such challenges among the talented
and motivated scientific community at Cornell.
1) Discuss a Challenge You Overcame
This applicant was accepted at Princeton University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Everyone told me that running a marathon didnt have to be a painful and frustrating experience. They were
wrong! As a fifteen-year-old sophomore, I decided to enter the Race For a Cure Marathon. I regularly ran
six miles per day on the track team and I liked the idea of completing a race for charity (cancer research). I
initially didn't think the commitment would require more than five months training before the big day. As I
investigated different training regimen, the enormity of the challenge sank in. Each required an aggressive
eighteen-week period and a minimum of four days a week: a high commitment. The duration of these runs
also increased throughout the program, requiring a gradual increase in time, peaking at fifteen hours per
week.
The physical training was tough (due to an old knee injury), but managing my time was tougher. I was taking
a full course load at Briarcliff Academy, including laboratory classes in Chemistry and Physics. My
academic commitments were as intense as my running schedule, stretching my organizational skills to the
limit. Yet I embraced the training with gusto, gradually building my strength and increasing my distances.
With just five weeks to go, I could run twenty miles. To juggle my dual commitments of school and running, I
became a master of efficiency, developing organizational skills I continue to practice today. Unfortunately,
my knee was also beginning to trouble me at these longer distances.
On the race day, I covered my knee in pain-relieving gel and progressed to the starting point. For the first
twelve miles I felt confident, but I found it difficult to increase pace with the mass of runners in front of me.
Forced to slow down, I contained the pain in my knee and continued to run at a comfortable pace. With
about three miles to go, the pain became excruciating, yet I knew that I had a chance to place well. Many of
my fellow runners had fallen back or dropped out of the race, sidelined by injuries, dehydration or
exhaustion. I concentrated only on crossing the finish line. The crowd cheered me on with loud, good-
natured support, erasing any concerns about my injury or knee pain. As I crossed the finish line in a time of
five hours and thirty five minutes, someone even encouraged me to spurt. I honestly did not know whether
to laugh or cry.
At the time, I did not appreciate the enormity of my success. My knee injury took months to heal and I was
physically exhausted for weeks. My tenth place finish impressed close friends, but it didn't lead to product
endorsements or national television interviews. Yet the Race For a Cure Marathon literally changed my life.
My confidence was bolstered by my strong finish, ahead of many well-known athletes and runners. I also
learned the benefits of planning, training and pursuing a seemingly unattainable challenge. Although I rarely
discuss the race with new friends, its lasting effects are always visible. I am an accomplished young woman
who approaches all tasks with enthusiasm, confidence and dedication. I developed all of those qualities
while training for the 1999 Race For a Cure Marathon.
This applicant was accepted at Stanford University and Bowdoin College.
My grandmother often recited a beautiful phrase that I apply to my life on a daily basis: O Great
Eagle, do not fear the opposing storm; its only purpose is to serve to lift you higher. These powerful words
continually help me conquer life's most difficult challenges.
My own greatest challenge was the successful integration of my native culture and religion into my
daily life. As a high school freshman, the task seemed overwhelming. How could I, bombarded with a new
culture, come to fully understand and appreciate my own roots? How could I thrive in my new environment,
yet retain the precious native traditions my family held dear?
Despite the enormity of these questions, I decided to resolve my conflict. My initial interest was
strictly personal: I wanted to explore my history and culture for my own spiritual well-being. With help from
friends, I started a religious youth group at the Shaker Hill Academy. Our original mission was to educate
others about our traditions, hoping to diminish their prejudice and misconceptions. To my surprise, I
discovered that my own group (and community) suffered similar prejudices and ignorance toward others.
Although we co-existed on campus, we were woefully ignorant of each other's core beliefs. This revelation
startled me and changed the focus of my group. Our mission became a two-way communication of ideas,
providing everyone with the opportunity to learn about the history, culture and religious beliefs of different
groups. I helped to organize two religious conferences on campus and the first Buddhist Awareness Week
at Shaker Hill Academy . These events were well-received and more successful than I ever imagined.
Part of my religious doctrine is a dedication to helping others. Following my success at school, I

reached out to troubled youth in my community, particularly those immersed in the dangerous lifestyle of
drugs and gangs. I knew that with support and direction, they could become productive adults and realize
their own potential. Working with coaches from the local YMCA, we organized a basketball tournament,
which was a fun way to get together in a disciplined environment. As the kids enjoyed the game, they forgot
about their image and the dangers that lurk everywhere in their daily lives. They also enjoyed the attention
and advice of a group of successful high school students. I was proud to be a role model for these kids and
demonstrate an alternative to the risky life on the street. Our group eventually organized a youth violence
conference where our local police department met with the kids to discuss viable alternatives to violence.
My experience allowed me to fulfill a potential of which I was initially unaware. While my original
goal was to learn about my own culture, my focus quickly expanded to include a tremendous number of
people in my community. My work at school helped to lift the prejudices of others who do not belong to my
particular faith. I also discovered my passion for working with youth, helping troubled teens avoid dangerous
situations and focus on getting an education. In essence, I helped to create a forum through which people
of all ages, races and beliefs can learn and grow.
In many ways, I have become the eagle in my grandmother's phrase. Each challenge that I
overcome makes me stronger and better able to deal with greater issues. As I mature, I am committed to
assuming larger roles to help others maneuver through similar obstacles. The stronger I become, the
greater the contribution that I can make. As I successfully navigate difficult storms, like the great eagle, I will
be lifter higher and higher.
This applicant was accepted at Cornell University, Columbia University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Most new friends do not know that my compassionate personality is a result of surviving a life-threatening
illness. During my freshman year in high school, I was stricken with Bells Palsy. Within a few days, I lost all
voluntary control of the right side of my face and all feeling in my right arm. These sudden physical changes
were traumatic, yet the emotional consequences were equally compelling. Before my illness, I was an
excellent student and the popular captain of the football team. After my symptoms emerged, friends
looked at me differently and were obviously uncomfortable. I became unbearably self-conscious and
withdrawn. When my condition failed to improve over time, I wondered if I would ever be my "old self" again.
My family doctor had only limited information on Bells Palsy and no guaranteed treatment protocol.
Unwilling to wait for the symptoms to subside, I investigated the disease on my own. As I perused the
medical literature, I discovered that the experts didn't seem to fully understand Bells Palsy. There was no
known cure, yet I found information about a new drug that hastened the recovery. I presented with my
findings to my neurologist, who approved the drug. With the aid of the medication, I recovered fully within
several weeks.
My depression eventually lifted with help from my family and close friends. Throughout my ordeal, I
continued my normal routine and tried not to get depressed by the reaction of strangers. In private
moments, I ignored my reflection in the mirror and developed my inner strengths. Despite my illness, I was
still the same hardworking student, dedicated athlete, loyal friend and son. My illness forced me to mature
and rely on an internal compass that I didn't know existed. I demonstrated patience and perseverance by
continuing to attend school. I became less focused on external appearances and more appreciative of
people's feelings and inner beauty. I also developed a tolerance for strangers, whose quizzical looks were
not evil or judgmental, but simply an indication of their own lack of understanding. Although I recovered
from Bells Palsy after five difficult weeks, I will retain the lessons I learned from the experience for my
entire life.
This applicant was accepted at Duke University and Northwestern University.
I kept asking myself, "Why is this happening?" After my third attempt, the board still did not snap. My sweat
mixed with tears, dripping profusely on the padded floor below. I was tired and exhausted. All eyes around
the Dojo (hall) focused on me, like a specimen under a microscope.
After years of training, it all came down to this moment. So many people came to see me get my black belt
and I couldn't bear to disappoint them. As I focused my concentration, my nerves were at a breaking point.
I remember the look of anxiety and apprehension on my fathers face. He expected the best from me and I
needed desperately to prove myself.
The master knelt before me, tightly clenching the board high above his shoulders. In his soft, yet stern
voice, he whispered, Jared, you must do this. Silence pervaded the dojo, while all eyes fixated on me.
But master, I said. This kick is impossible; I never did this in practice. To my disbelief, he picked up a
second board, sandwiched both boards together and said, Now you can do it!
Bewildered, I knew that the audience empathized with my dilemma. Surely he could not expect me to break
two boards! What was the logic behind this? I searched his eyes with profound skepticism and realized that
he was serious. I also sensed his confidence in my ability to succeed. Focus hard, Jared! You can do
this!
I had no choice, as the three judges issued a nod for me to proceed. I stepped back several feet and
started my approach; slow at first, and then fiercely. Leaping into the air, I twisted my hip sharply and
extended one leg. After a complete turn, I pierced both boards fervently with my foot and saw individual
pieces of wood flying in self-governed directions. The crowd erupted with cheers and applause at my
triumph. I focused on my father's face, filled with exhilaration and radiant pride. Congratulations, said the
master. You did well.
I embraced my success, delighted at my accomplishment and my family's pride. Yet I also acquired an
important lesson that continues to influence my life. By facing a challenge beyond my skills, I accomplished
something I thought was unattainable. My master had a deeper insight in my ability, and I grew to
appreciate his confidence and teaching. My reward was greater than the black belt, for which I had worked
so diligently. I learned the power of my own concentration and my unlimited ability to succeed.
Throughout my childhood, Tae kwon do provided a continual source of inspiration and guidance. Few
athletic pursuits offer similar opportunities for physical and mental conditioning. While many find the sport
somewhat odd, I attribute most of my academic and personal success to my training in Tae kwon do. I
became more stable, determined, and better prepared to see tasks through to completion. I became open to
new ideas and experiences, which I otherwise wouldn't have entertained. I also embodied a greater degree
of self-confidence, a sense of teamwork and competitiveness toward life in general.
I am much older today than the young boy who miraculously attained his black belt under stressful
circumstances. Yet the lessons I learned that day continue to enrich my life. By applying the same focus
and determination, I have survived many demanding situations since getting my black belt. My continual
success reinforces my positive outlook and my dedication to complete the tasks at hand. College offers a
tremendous opportunity to discover my unique talents and develop them to the best of my ability. Thanks to
Tae kwon do, I am prepared to accept greater challenges, set higher goals and standards, and become a
valuable contributor to my class.
This applicant was accepted at Brown University and Temple University.
By nature, I was always a curious child. My parents usually found this delightful, except for one
disconcerting experience when I was just eight years old. As I played, I spotted a colorful bottle of my great-
grandmother's medication on the table. I was fascinated by the bright colors and assumed it was a bottle of
candy for me. Not wasting any time, I popped a piece of "candy" into my mouth and enjoyed its sweetness.
Unable to control myself, I quickly finished half of the bottle and began to feel giddy.
Seeing me on the floor with the open bottle, my parents knew instantaneously what had happened. My fun
experience with the "candy" quickly turned agonizing. I was gasping for breath and required immediate
medical attention. During the short ride to the hospital, I was haunted by thoughts of death. I was weak,
scared and could see shadows hovering over me. Fortunately, we reached the emergency ward quickly,
where doctors inserted tubes into my mouth and nose. I screamed from the intense pain. The doctors
pumped out what was left inside my stomach, saving me from serious physical injury. Although the
emergency was over, I stayed on for medical observation.
I was discharged from the hospital a week later, but was extremely fearful of eating candy. I suffered mild
depression, which responded well to pastoral counseling. Yet I needed more time to regain my
concentration. My grades slipped for a short while and I felt miserable. Moreover, my shyness made
communicating even more difficult. The thought of public speaking paralyzed me whenever I had to do
presentations. I was jittery and nervous, the laughing stock of the class. Thankfully, my family and friends
supported me and understood my frustration. Despite the setback, I was determined to regain my academic
foothold. My perseverance eventually paid off. Although I missed two weeks of lessons, I caught up on my
studies and scored an A+ average! In addition, I joined social groups like the drill team and the computer
club, which dissolved my social phobia. As my shyness went away, I discovered I could speak confidently
without stuttering.
Through this difficult experience, I gained confidence in my ability to set and attain goals. I also learned that
virtually any challenge can be overcome by defining clear objectives, understanding the qualities needed to
achieve them, and then systematically committing to the tasks. I bring this confidence and dedication to
everything I do. I am excited to embrace the challenges of the university and those in my subsequent
career.
1. First experiences can be defining. Cite a first experience and explain its impact on you.
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Harvard University and New York University.
Dirty, deceiving, corrupt and dishonest. A thief. As a three-year-old, these words were foreign to
me, as I had never experienced evil. In a split second, that completely changed, leaving me with a
frightening memory of early childhood.
I always ran errands with my dad, and I usually went into stores with him. On this one "quick stop"
in downtown Cairo, I waited in the back seat of our old, rusty car. Suddenly, an unshaven man opened the
car door leaned in closer, almost brushing against my pink Barbie t-shirt. Hello little girl, your dad said I can
have this. He reached to my feet where my dad kept a bag filled with his wallet and other personal items.
As the man flashed me a crooked smile, I noticed his dirty teeth. He told me what a good little girl I was.
Meanwhile, I didn't move an inch or say a word.
Hey beautiful, Dad said, opening the car door minutes later, I bought your favorite candy. I held
the tiny box of Hot Tamales in my lap, completely motionless. Dad immediately knew something was wrong,
as I normally squealed with joy whenever I received candy. When he turned to look at me in the back seat,
he noticed his bag was missing. I told him about the strange man who claimed ownership of the bag while
my Dad was in the store.
Looking back, my blindness in the situation demonstrates the pure innocence of my childhood. In
my safe, secure world, I couldn't imagine the cruel nature of a criminal. The ramifications of the robbery
forced me to acknowledge the prevalence of evil. Sadly, my father's stolen bag contained my family's
passports and other documents for our move to the United States that week. Replacing them was stressful,
time-consuming and costly.
Yet the robbery ultimately became a valuable learning experience. While other children quickly
embraced strangers as friends, I knew that trust was not universal. I understood the need to be prepared for
a similar situation in the future, if I encountered someone with an impure heart. Throughout my childhood, I
sought protection through information. I questioned people and situations, as my awareness gave me a
sense of security. In my heart, I knew that knowledge was my key to remaining safe.
Almost fifteen years later, I still remember the day when I lost my childhood innocence. Yet I also
acknowledge the robbery as a catalyst for my maturity and growth. When he stole our money and
passports, the thief forced me to face life's harsh realities. I realized that there are two ways to live:
honestly or deceitfully. I choose honesty. Whatever I achieve through my hard work brings me a rightful
sense of pride. A thief will never understand or enjoy this pride. My naivet has been replaced by the
knowledge that every day is another chance to enjoy life, learn new things and become a better person.
Through my curiosity and ambition, I have become a strong woman who does not easily discourage. Even
in the toughest situations, I take care of myself and those around me.
Honest, clean, loyal and benevolent. A success. As I approach college, I bring my hard-earned
knowledge from my first eighteen years of life. In every choice I make, I try to embody the essence of those
positive values.
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Harvard University, Princeton University and New
York University.
It's frightening how life can change at the drop of a hat. Even more frightening is the powerful memory of a
child whose life was forever changed on a Monday afternoon in 1998. Looking back, the day started the
same as many others. I went to school in the morning, confident that my parents were working in our
grocery store. Despite the unstable economy, I was unprepared for the impending mayhem.
After months of fear and economic uncertainty, demonstrators protesting the economic policies of (then
Israeli President) Suerlo started riots that local police could not control. Along with hundreds of other
businesses, my family's delicatessen burned to the ground. The building's demise claimed our primary
source of income and our security in our new homeland.
Sitting in my classroom, I didn't know about the terrible calamity that besieged my nation. The first signal
was the fire alarm, which blasted loudly throughout the school. Normally, we gathered and stayed at the
theatre. This was different. We weren't released until 5 pm, when our parents picked us up. I waited
anxiously until 7 pm, when my father finally arrived.
I'll never forget the anguish on my father's face. Throughout our ride, he was strangely quiet. I didn't learn
about the riots until we reached the airport, where thousands of people sought to flee the country.
Suddenly, I was immersed in a "breaking news story", as television crews filmed the violent demonstrations
against President Suerlo's regime. My mother's emotion was a startling contrast to my father's stoic
exhaustion. I was devastated by her repetitive cries, "it is gone.... all gone... all we have worked so hard
for... gone." Upon boarding our "emergency" plane to Tel Aviv, I learned that the riots destroyed our grocery
store. Everything was, indeed, gone on that Monday afternoon.
Four years later, that frightening day remains a defining moment of my life. Like my parents, I am a survivor.
I refused to let the violence of an angry mob end my chances for a happy, prosperous future. I joined my
parents to rebuild their deli, working 35 hours per week in addition to my school work. Many days we had
little food and no sleep, but we survived. I quickly discovered that I possess the same drive and
determination that empowered my parents to build a future for their family. Despite the overwhelming
despair surrounding us, we remained self-sufficient.
After surviving the riots, I decided to learn as much as possible about Israel's role in the global economy.
Last summer, I visited Washington, DC as part of the Congressional Youth Leadership Councils Global
Young Leaders Conference. I attended several lectures at the International Monetary Fund (IMF) center
that discussed the emergency funding in Africa, Korea, Thailand and Indonesia. I acknowledged the need
(and opportunity) for someone like me to work at the IMF or World Bank as an advocate for change. I am
committed to applying my talents in a manner that will preserve the social and economic future of Israel for
the next generation.
My family is living proof that resiliency comes from surviving hardships. In addition to nurturing my dream,
my parents also share it. Although they are strong, hard-working people, neither was able to complete a
college education. By setting and attaining my educational goals, I am pursuing a dream that will benefit my
family as well as my nation. I can't change the past, but I can help to build a better future.
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Duke University, Brown University and Columbia
University.
Buddha once said that an insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild
beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. This quotation has special meaning to
me, because I was betrayed by two friends in the fifth grade. During the middle of a free period, my two best
friends, Samantha and Kylie, were appalled that I had decided to read a book instead of chat with them.
Although it was not a rare decision, on this particular day, it carried unusual meaning. To my surprise, they
approached me and issued an ultimatum: either lose the "smarts" of lose their friendship.
Their demand was a devastating shock that I could not understand. Sure, I was smart, but I
couldn't just stop being myself. Although I had hoped that the encounter was just a strange joke, the girls
refused to speak to me for several days afterward. Soon, I came to the sinking realization that our friendship
was over. I felt bereft for several weeks; Samantha and Kylie had been my two closest friends since first
grade, and I did not have anyone to turn to for advice. Occasionally, I considered giving in to their demands,
but I was perplexed by their expectations. How in the world was I supposed to become less intelligent? And
did I really want to? During my loneliest moments, I remembered one of my father's stories about his
childhood in Great Britain. At the time, Asians were not considered intellectual enough to do well in school
and were not encouraged to excel. Despite the prejudice against him, my father completed night school to
pass the required A-level examinations for university admission and later graduated from the University of
London. I could never let him (or myself) down by giving anything less than my best efforts.
After my unfortunate encounter with Samantha and Kylie, I was determined to reach my fullest
potential in everything I tried, from schoolwork to cross-country to my community service work. Inspired by
my father's example, I explored all of my talents with great energy and enthusiasm. Yet, just as Buddha
predicted, the betrayal of my friends inflicted a wound in my mind. For several years, I was was shy about
making new friends, but I slowly made peace with my fear of rejection. I also came to the realization that
true friends would have accepted me for who I was, rather than demand an impossible change. Once I
realized that the end of our friendship was not my fault, I grew into a more confident, outgoing person. I also
eventually reconciled with Samantha and Kylie during high school, after they had grown and changed as
well. Surviving my childhood betrayal gave me the courage to be myself, regardless of what others might
think. Thanks to this strength, I know that I survive whatever challenges or "beasts" may come my way.
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Boston University and Northwestern University.
Prior to June 7, 1994, my answer to this question would be quite different than it is today. A few years ago,
my "defining moments" were challenging intellectual pursuits; my winning debates and presentations at
national forensics meetings. Over the years, I've enjoyed so many professional experiences that have
shaped the successful, self-motivated woman I am today. Yet, on June 7, 1994, my entire life changed,
along with my answer to this question. The birth of Joshua, my younger brother, changed just about
everything.
During the night of his birth, I tossed in my bed, too nervous to sleep. I worried about my mother's labor and
wondered what my little brother would look like. Finally, when daylight came, I took the bus to school and
tried convince myself that it was just a normal day. My theology exam was a welcome respite from my
recurrent concerns about my mother.
Finally, at 3 oclock, I rushed out of school and embarked upon my journey to Warren Memorial Hospital. As
I opened the door to room 116, I was shocked by my mother's pale face, tired eyes and unkempt hair.
Suddenly, I noticed something next to her: a cart with a baby in it. My little brother! I gazed into his closed
eyes, noting his tiny fists, red skin and small body. My mind drifted effortlessly into a fantasy state. He didnt
look human to me, more like a little monster. Was this creature really my brother? Would he ever look
human?
When we brought Joshua home a few days later, I realized how radically my life had changed. I was no
longer the only child, the spoiled one who thought only of herself. In a split second, I accepted the dual role
of both mother and sister, trying to set a good example for him. Despite my lack of experience with
newborns, I bathed him, fed him and changed his diaper. Surprisingly, I found myself enjoying the maternal
role, delighted by the happiness that Joshua brought into my life. After years of solitary pleasures, I could
share all my laughter and joy with him, and he could always erase my blues.
With my three-hour commute to and from Xavier Academy, I seldom have a free day to call my own, much
less any free cash to spare. Yet when I am miraculously blessed with both, I share them with Joshua. We
go to his favorite place, McDonalds, to share a happy meal and a medium Oreo Blizzard. After lunch, I take
him to play in the park, then read his favorite books to him at the public library. We often navigate around a
museum that offers free admission on Sundays, checking out the new exhibits. I answer his questions and
try to discover his passions.
Since June 7, 1994, thanks to Joshua, I've discovered that life has new meaning. When I get stressed out
about school, the thought of his sweet face relaxes me. When I'm tempted to be selfish, the thought of his
feelings encourages me to share. And when I feel like a failure, the soft touch of his arms around my neck
convinces me that I'm a hero in at least one person's eyes. Wherever I go and whatever I do, I'm happy if
Joshua (the newborn "monster") is with me. My greatest joy is knowing that he feels the same.
This applicant was accepted by the following schools: Harvard University, Yale University and Brown
University.
Call it terror, stage fright, a panic attack. By anyone's terminology, I literally thought I was going to die. Or
maybe I simply wanted to die, rather than proceed with my dismal fate. Sensing a lack of oxygen in my
lungs, I began to quietly hyperventilate. Breathe, Kelly, breathe. For a split second, I wondered if this was
how people felt at the very moment that they "lost it".
Ironically, to an outside observer, nothing unusual was happening. The scene was a college class in
Japanese, on the day of their first oral quiz. Yet to me, a teenage girl with a paralyzing fear of public
speaking, it might as well have been a national news interview. At least in that situation, Ted Koppel would
have bailed me out.
I sat frozen on a wooden chair, too nervous to move, as I waited impatiently for my turn. As a high school
student taking classes at Rutgers University, I was desperate to feel accepted by my college peers. I stared
at the Japanese book in front of me, silently reciting my mini-dialogue, although I already knew the lines by
heart. Yet, in the presence of these "strangers" in the room, I felt scared. What if I made a mistake? What if
I embarrassed myself? What the heck was I doing there? Anticipating a long semester among these
students, I needed to prove myself.
Finally, the moment arrived. "Ma-san, your turn." I slowly walked up the aisle as if I had the weight of the
world on my shoulders. When I reached the front of the classroom, I felt the stare of my fellow students
looking back at me. As adrenaline surged through my body, I perspired and blushed. "How can I do this?
How can I recite something in Japanese in front a bunch of college students when I'm too nervous to present
a speech in front of my high school friends?"
Yet, I knew I must do it, both to get an "A" in the course and to prove myself to my classmates. So many
people, including my guidance counselor and biology teacher, had faith in me. Everyone I knew, especially
my parents, expected me to succeed. I had to do it for them.
Finally, I took a deep breath and yelled out all the lines of my mini-dialogue, "Hajimemashite.
Watashinonamaewa Kelly Ma desu. Dozoyoroshiku." In less than 30 seconds, it was over. I returned to my
seat, accepting praise from people with whom I had never previously spoken. "Good job, Ma-san." What a
relief!
Looking back, I can't believe I was so paranoid about speaking in front of people. Why was I so afraid of the
students in that class? They weren't monsters, just humans like me. Despite my academic success, I had
managed to conceal my fear of public speaking in high school. I was confident and carefree among my long-
time friends, yet incredibly insecure in a college environment. Ironically, that terrifying oral quiz (and panic
attack) made me realize how crazy and isolated I had been. I had let my fear paralyze me, which kept me
from pursuing my dreams.
These realizations lead to positive changes in my life. I began to speak with ease in front of large groups,
leading class discussions, asserting myself, and earning better grades on oral presentations. With my
newfound confidence, I became the captain of the math team and developed several leadership skills. Most
importantly, I reached out to people, shedding my shyness and making new friends. After all, people aren't
monsters: with a little kindness, many became good friends. In my Japanese class, I discovered several
kindred spirits in the most unlikely setting. Although I may lose touch with them at the end of this semester, I
will treasure every second I spent in that classroom.
1) Childhood Experiences / Personality
This applicant was accepted into Harvard University, Northwestern University and the University of Illinois
When I was five years old, I decided to find out whose voice was coming from inside my transistor radio. I
carefully took apart all 12 pieces of the small red box, only to discover that I had silenced the nice men and
women who lived there. I began to cry and ran to tell my mother the terrible deed I had committed. After a
tender hug, a good laugh, and more than a few Oreos, I learned my first scientific lesson: always find out
who (or what) is inside the box before you dismantle it.
I proceeded to spend most of my childhood reminding myself of that lesson. From that first ill-fated attempt
with the radio to my more recent efforts to fix my own transmission, I've gained a reputation as the "girl who
runs with mechanics". Not exactly what my parents had in mind when they decorated my childhood
bedroom with pink ballerinas and tea sets.
I 've always been an inquisitive child, especially where science and machinery are concerned. When I was
in the second grade, my teacher Mrs. Tims cautiously warned my dad that I was smart, but a handful. I
asked questions she couldn't answer and usually completed the science projects before she could finish
giving the instructions. My parents were intrigued. They thought I only dismantled appliances at home.
Over the years, my entire family, including my athletic brother Ben, have grown to accept and nurture my
constant desire to tinker. When I was 10 years old, my parents scraped together the money to buy an
expensive encyclopedia. I was awestruck my the world it opened up to me. Within two weeks, I learned how
to fix our outdated four-slice toaster. During the summer, I helped my dad and Ben rebuild the engine of our
88' Dodge Colt. Although I was years away from driving it, I felt like a hero. It was a true epiphany.
While other kids, including Ben, were reading comic books, I stayed up late studying electricity and carbine
engines. My personal heroes became Albert Einstein and Benjamin Franklin, who invented almost every
appliance I took apart. I was so eager to understand their achievements. While it would be years before I
truly understood the relativity theory, I knew I wanted to make a lasting contribution to science, too.
I've gotten my chance at the last two Illinois State Science Fairs. My projects placed well both years,
particularly my most recent study on the role of surfactants on engine efficiency. But I was most proud of my
family's reaction at the fair. Although neither of my parents attended college or studied science, they visited
every booth and read every contest entry. When approached by other parents, they proudly told everyone
that their athletic, somewhat shy tomboy won first place. They never mentioned that I hadn't gotten around
to putting the lawn mower back together yet. Or that I used a piece from Ben's motorcycle for my contest
entry. I was more touched by their unconditional acceptance of me than by the scholarship prize.
My parents also support my application to Harvard, and promise to provide the tuition money to finance my
educational dream. But the deal is conditional. I've had to make some major concessions about my
behavior once I get to Cambridge. No challenging the teachers, they insist, and no taking apart anyone
else's appliances. I agreed that I would somehow restrain my scientific curiosity and try to blend in with the
crowd. They never noticed that I had my fingers crossed behind my back when I made the promise.......
2) Childhood Experiences/ Personality
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University, Princeton University and Yale University.
I always thought she looked like the fairy godmother in Snow White. Despite her advancing age, my
paternal grandmother still has a kind smile and a luxurious head of long, curly blonde hair. "Not important",
she says, whenever someone compliments her appearance. "My looks are a gift from my parents. Judge
me by my own talents". Stubborn, hard-working and opinionated to a fault, my grandmother Beth has been
one of the most positive influences in my life.
I can't remember a time when she didn't take me to work with her on Saturdays. She owns a small ice
cream shop on Manhattan's Lower East Side, the kind of place where there are still jukeboxes in the booths
and real syrup flowing from Coca-Cola fountains. Long after her peers stopped working and retired to sunny
beaches in Florida, my grandmother Beth still runs her business 6 days a week. " Work is good for the soul",
she insists, keeping the shop as pristine as the day it first opened. I marvel at her stamina. My job is to
clean the booths after customers leave and keep the floor spic-and-span. Despite being four times my age,
she still runs circles around me.
I never learned much about Beth's life from my parents, only that it was a shame that she had it so hard.
She was a single parent at a young age, after losing my grandfather to cancer. The ice cream shop was her
only source of income and her only education. She worked her entire life to make the future better for her
family. My parents often say what a shame it is that she never got an education. "What she could have
accomplished", they muse, "If she had made something of her life".
I guess my experiences in the ice cream parlor have left me with a different impression. I think Beth is the
smartest, most successful person I know. She has a job that she loves doing, even at an advanced age.
She has high work standards that she's not afraid to impose on her employees. She treats her helpers well,
but expects them to work hard and treat the customers right. And she never complains, no matter how long
or hard a day has been. Beth knows the name of every man, woman and child in her neighborhood and is
the sympathetic ear they all seek out in times of trouble. She's committed to giving every customer a
pleasurable experience and a quality product. And she's instilled every one of those values into me.
Beth's excited now that I'm applying to college and hopes that I get accepted at a good school. She looks
forward to hearing about my experiences and what I'll learn from the best minds the Ivy League has to offer.
But I'm convinced that my college education will truly be a two-way street. Princeton will provide me an
exceptional education, but I have something to offer you, too.
I've learned valuable lessons about life, about the value of hard work and the importance of handling grief
and setbacks. I've learned how to smile and do a good job even when I'd rather be home relaxing. I've
learned how to run a business and develop good, loyal customers. And I've learned that it's not the external
appearance of someone that's important, but the values inside that matter. I'll share those lessons with
everyone I meet at Princeton and later in my career.
And I'll be honest about where I obtained such a well-rounded life experience. Not only at Princeton, but
from the time I was born, at the knees of the wisest, most charitable woman I know. I've gained a wonderful
education every Saturday afternoon, cleaning floors and growing close to my beautiful, golden-haired
grandmother Beth.
3) Childhood Influence / Personality
This applicant was accepted at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago.
My mother always felt we were never really safe in the city. Long before I was born, my parents wrestled
with the decision about where they would live. My mother, a true mid western farm girl, desperately hoped
that my dad could find a surgical residency in a rural area. Unfortunately, the only rotation in his specialty
was in Los Angeles, where my mom reluctantly moved. Rumors persist that her kicking and screaming
could be heard for miles.
While I enjoyed the benefits of growing up in the land of beaches, Hollywood and perpetual sunshine, my
mom always wanted more for me. She worried that my cultural background was limited and she wanted me
to appreciate my rural heritage. She decided when I was 13 that I should spend the summer with my
grandparents in rural Iowa. I would have preferred a root canal without novocaine.
Don't get me wrong: it's not that I didn't love Grandmo and PaPa. They called and wrote often and always
sent great Christmas gifts. But the thought of actually living in the country for the summer was as appealing
as swimming in a sweater. But I had little leverage at age 13, and my mom's desire for my cultural
development won out. Off I went to Ottumwa, kicking and screaming as hard as my mom could imagine.
I didn't realize at the time what a memorable experience the trip would be. I had been raised in a large,
splashy metropolitan area where the pace was fast and frenetic. My parents were both busy, successful
professionals, and we enjoyed every luxury that money could buy. I was accustomed to 24-hour
supermarkets, cable TV, cell phones and fast cars. Snap your fingers in LA and you have a choice of 50
movies to watch, 300 cable channels and live performances in every theatre. You could be in a coma and
never be bored.
In contrast, Ottumwa had a grocery store and a post office. All of the telephones were rotary and there
wasn't even basic cable service. But the worse part was that my grandparents didn't even see that it was a
problem. They welcomed me for the summer with delight, telling me repeatedly that I'd have the time of my
life. I was convinced there was something funny in the water.
But a strange thing happened during those long, hot, musty weeks in 1994. I started to relax and tried to
make the best of boring Ottumwa. I accompanied Grandmo on her morning chores and to her afternoon
volunteer work at the local veterinary clinic. I helped her to run errands and to cook and clean the huge
house she shared alone with PaPa. And in the evenings, I sat around the dinner table with them and
listened to their familiar stories about buying the farm when they first got married and the hard years of
making it a viable business. I learned about my mother's life as a child and how she first learned to ride and
groom horses (her passion) right on that very farm. I learned to ride a horse, and realized for the first time
why my mother loved it so much.
Late one night, Grandmo took out an old, yellowed photo album from the attic and slowly went through it with
me. She had a sweet, detailed story about every photo, most of which brought a delightful glint of laughter to
her eyes. Nearly every story taught me more about my mom, about who she was as a young girl and what
her dreams were for the future. I saw pictures of my mom milking cows, competing in state fairs and
delivering puppies. I learned about her first date, her first prom and that she could drive a tractor before she
was 14!
I realized for the first time how out of place my mother felt in transient LA, surrounded by glass, concrete and
buildings less than 10 years old. I started to appreciate how shallow LA seemed to her and how much she
longed for us to live in an area untouched by crime, gangs and pollution. We had a lot of stimulation in LA,
but we didn't have peace and quiet. We never went out alone after dark and we didn't know any of our
neighbors. Our wealth was well-protected by a state-of-the-art security system that contributed to our self-
imposed isolation. I began to appreciate the quietness in Iowa, the sweet smell of fresh air, and the security
in being surrounded by neighbors you have known your entire life.
I'd love to say that I returned to LA a changed person who never drank a slurpee or watched cable TV ever
again. But that wouldn't be true. I appreciated being back in my familiar environment, but I returned with an
expanded version of what I considered to be "home". I was comfortable for the first time with silence and
with having free time on my hands. I began to talk more with my mother about Ottumwa and what it meant
to me. We started to communicate more about life, what it offers, and all the decisions and compromises
you must make along the way. I finally realized what she had given up in leaving Iowa and I valued and
respected it as much as she did. It was the first time we ever spoke as friends.
I've spent nearly every summer in Iowa since then, and my parents try to come out with me for at least part
of the trip. It's a restorative experience for everyone. While I'll probably never milk a cow with the same skill
as my mom, I'm proud to have it on my list of life experiences. I'm also privileged to have Grandmo and
PaPa in my life, who might not know what a DVD player is, but are otherwise the "hippest" people I know.
They were right about my first summer there being memorable. Sometimes the places you are dragged to
kicking and screaming offer you the most important lessons.
This applicant was accepted at Yale University and Duke University.
Like many Brazilians raised in the United States, I often felt like a fish out of water. My parents moved to
the US when I was eight, subjecting me to a huge cultural change that would define my childhood. I'm proud
of the ways that adjustment has shaped my personality.
I grew up in Bangor, Maine, where South Americans are rare, particularly non-Spanish speaking ones. I
was always an anomaly in school, a young girl whose exotic dark looks contrasted sharply with those of my
New England classmates. Yet children are blessed in their ability to look beyond the superficial, and I was
quickly accepted into the fold as another happy child.
My hardest adjustments were with language. I was raised speaking Brazilian Portuguese, and my parents
also taught me Spanish. Nothing was as difficult as abruptly having to learn English in a non-Portuguese-
speaking nation. The school department in Bangor had no facilities for ESL (English as a Second
Language), so I learned English strictly by working with an English teacher and an old set of Berlitz language
tapes. It was not easy.
I quickly learned to read and write English, but my initial attempts at conversation were frustrating. I could
visually "see" the word I needed in my mind, but I could not verbalize it properly. Verb conjugation was a
nightmare (sing, sang, sung) as were similar sounding words (to, two, too). When I made mistakes, people
often looked at me as if I was from another planet. Fortunately, I am a secure person by nature and do not
get uptight when I'm criticized. My first year in the US definitely tested that strength of character.
My most positive experience occurred in high school, because I was surrounded by friends eager to learn
about other cultures. In tenth grade, we were each assigned a country on which we were do do a report on
its history, lifestyle and culture. I was predictably assigned Brazil. I used the opportunity to demonstrate
first-hand the unique culture of Brazil and how it contributes to trends worldwide.
My presentation was all-inclusive. I baked paella for everyone to taste and brought in samples of pure
Brazilian coffee and cocoa. I played tapes of our native contemporary music and explained the derivations
of popular dances from Brazil, such as the Lambada and Salsa. I discussed Brazilian television, movies
and how proud we are of our football teams (what you call soccer here in the US). I also explained with
pride the history of my nation and how proud I was for its role in the world economy and in maintaining peace
in South America.
While other students completed their presentations in 15 minutes, mine took a full hour. At first I was
embarrassed by using so much time. But I then realized how energetic and interactive the time had been. I
answered so many thoughtful, interesting questions from friends who were genuinely excited to learn about
another culture. I was proud to share that with them and I wished that I had done so earlier.
The presentation was also a learning experience for me. I learned that no matter where I go or what I do,
the Brazilian culture will always be an important part of me. In my childhood zeal to adapt to the American
culture, I had mistakenly downplayed my Brazilian heritage. This was a mistake, as my true personality has
evolved into a unique blend of both cultures. To deny either would limit both my enjoyment of life and what I
can offer to those around me.
Appearances are deceiving. While on the surface I look just like any other happy teenage girl at
McDonalds, there is much more to me and my experiences. I know what it feels like to be a fish out of water
who flops around awhile before learning to swim in a new school.
I will bring the benefits of growing up in a dual culture with me to Yale University, where I hope to major in
languages. I will always remember with pain my initial adjustment to the US and not having proper language
training. I am committed to helping others in that situation, and I feel uniquely qualified to do it.
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University and the University of Pennsylvania.
I most clearly remember the sweet smell of her hair after she took a leisurely bubble bath on warm summer
nights. My mother would take a rare reprieve from her role as a full-time mother and relax in a warm, jasmin-
scented bath, surrounded by the soft, classical notes of Bach and the glow from dozens of small, vanilla-
scented votive candles. She'd emerge from her bath with a warm smile, renewed patience, and a sense of
serenity that I envied, even in my childhood innocence.
As an only child, my relationship to my mom was always especially close. She had high expectations for her
sensitive, athletic daughter, and urged me to excel, particularly in school and in gymnastics. I always
suspected that she was seeking to fulfill her own dreams through me, having deferred her own professional
goals to marry my father and become a doctor's wife. She never complained, but I occasionally sensed her
disappointment when I failed to pursue an opportunity that she felt was right for me. I knew that I was the
second chance at a life that my mother never had. She always told me that I could accomplish anything.
She was the one person I could trust to discuss dicey subjects: politics, dating, school problems and friends.
She had great judgment and was right about more things than I would ever admit. We had a running battle
about clothes. My mom hated my casual grunge look, with my staple outfit of low-riding pants, clunky boots
and loose, ill-fitting tee shirts. She never missed a chance to drag me to the mall, usually under pretense of
buying my dad a gift, and getting me to try on tailored, preppy sweater sets and pleated skirts. I saw the
loving look in her eye when I modeled these outfits, and knew exactly what she saw: a small, younger
version of herself, ready to set the world on fire as a future executive. I often wished I had her confidence
and dedication.
I never imagined that she would be gone now, lost to me at a time when I need her guidance the most. I
miss her micro-managing the details of my life and wish I could get savvy advice from her about applying to
her alma mater. I never realized that cancer could strike so quickly and claim someone so strong and
determined within a year.
She's the one person I couldn't imagine living without, yet now I have to. I've survived two Christmases
without my mom, yet I still feel her presence when decorating the tree and selecting gifts. It's hard to
describe her energy, invisible yet so powerful and comforting. When I'm having a hard day or facing a tough
decision, I sometimes "hear" her words and can find my way to the best solution. I know that in some way
she is still guiding my life and is cheering me on.
She'd be the proudest mother on earth to know that I am applying to her alma mater, Princeton. While I
can't promise that I'll grace the campus wearing the tailored suits and sweater sets my mom would have
selected, I can attest that I WILL bring to the university her wisdom, guidance, and spirit.
I am in every way my mother's legacy. I'll make the most of every academic opportunity that comes my way
and reach for every dream I have. I won't defer my own passions for marriage until I'm totally fulfilled in my
own right. And when the going gets tough, really tough, I'll relax my mind and spirit in a warm, jasmin-
scented bath by candlelight. Like my mom, it's during those moments that I feel most restored and know that
I can accomplish anything.
1) Career Goals
This applicant was accepted at Yale University, Duke University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Since I was six years old, I have dreamed of being a cardiovascular surgeon. Although my original
interest was simply to "help people," I wasn't satisfied by the idea of being a stereotypical family physician.
By nature, I prefer situations that are challenging and dynamic, where no day is ever the same as the one
before. After surviving extreme losses and victories, followed by unexpected twists and turns, I discovered
that I thrive in fast-paced environments that require me to think on my feet. While others seek security, I
willingly accept difficult assignments that require a high tolerance for risk. Armed with a competitive spirit
and an inquisitive mind, I yearn to challenge my myself on every possible level. A cardiovascular surgeon,
by nature, must integrate all of these skills to accomplish the ultimate goal: saving a patient's life.
The college of Arts and Sciences at Yale will bring me a step closer in fulfilling this lifelong dream.
The Hughes Scholars Program and the Honors Program offered by the Biological Sciences department will
provide excellent preparation for the rigors of medical school. In many ways, I have been preparing for Yale
my entire life. I have taken the most demanding classes at my high school, along with two courses per
semester at Rutgers University. With its renowned faculty and talented student body, Yale offers solid pre-
medical training in an environment of scientific excellence. I am ready for the challenge!
2) Career Goals
This applicant was accepted at Harvard University and Brown University.
Youre too young. Why dont you just enjoy being your age? Rebellious and ambitious, I started my own
business just to show everyone how wrong they were. At age thirteen, I sold hand-painted T-shirts from the
backyard at my parents house. A year later, I pestered my father for enough money to start a small juice
bar with two friends. Smiling triumphantly, I paid him back just five months later, but the bar closed within a
year. Looking back, Newtons law taught me to know better. What goes up must eventually come down. The
crux is how to maintain a sustained upward motion.
With my strong entrepreneurial spirit, I have never been quite like the rest of my friends. I am always the
dreamer, the inventor and the doer. I wake up in the middle of the night with earth-shattering ideas for
intriguing new business concepts. With each new venture, I realize that entrepreneurs are not greedy
capitalists, but agents of change. We see opportunities that others do not and we create something from
nothing. Several years ago, I decided to learn as much as I could about business and meet every
entrepreneur in my community. Whenever possible, I attend foreign investment fairs and charitable
fundraisers, and sit next to a corporate vice-president, magazine editor or bank president. We usually have
great conversations. Every successful person gave me the same advice: devour as much information as
possible about my proposed ventures.
At age fourteen, I made my first international relocation, moving from Malaysia to Brazil. Studying in a
multicultural environment has dramatically broadened my personal perspective, my business contacts and
my understanding of the world economy. In four years, I have established friendships with people from a
dozen countries and formed a "San Paolo office" in my bedroom at the dorm. My management team
includes a financial analyst from India, a high-tech consultant from Japan, and me, the visionary.
Combining our diverse strengths, we design and sell inspirational CDs on the internet. We form a special
blend that is versatile, open-minded and dynamic: traditional Confucian team spirit with Gandhian
perseverance and Japanese diligence.
The unique combination of business and international studies at Harvard is an excellent fit for my talents and
skills. The cross-cultural program will enable me to become a multidisciplinary problem solver and to launch
my garage company on a global scale. In Harvards superior learning environment, I will further develop
my intellectual capabilities and entrepreneurial drive, adding luster to the distinguished program. I am
prepared to meet the challenges of Harvard and open the doors of entrepreneurial possibility.
3) Career Goals
This applicant was accepted at Cornell University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Born and raised in Dodge City, Kansas, I am a fourth-generation farmer. My family farm includes more than
two thousand acres of wheat, corn and soy, and several thousand cattle. I'm everything you probably think
of when you envision a farm girl: fresh-scrubbed, hard working and committed to the agricultural life. But I
am consciously choosing a somewhat different direction for my career, while still being true to my small-town
agricultural roots. I'd like to be a veterinarian with a large animal practice.
Crops cycles are erratic, and the lifeblood of any small farm is usually in livestock. I've watched my parents
struggle to preserve their animals' health for years, sacrificing many night's sleep to deliver a calf or to treat
an injured steer with hourly does of antibiotics. The role of a country veterinarian is paramount.
My most vivid childhood memory was waiting for our local veterinarian, Dr. Winters, to arrive at our barn to
deliver emergency treatment to our extremely-pregnant cow, Molly. Molly had enjoyed a relatively stress-
free pregnancy, but labor had stopped progressing for several hours and her vital signs were becoming
erratic. My mom knew that without immediate medical help, she and her calf might not survive. This would
not only be a horrible loss for Molly, but for the farm's economic survival as well.
So we waited, in zero degree weather, huddling from the severe, blustery wind, for what seemed like hours
for Dr. Winters to arrive. I never asked how he managed to reach us in a blinding snowstorm or how his wife
felt when she was awakened by our alarming late-night phone call. I just knew that he was our only hope,
our hero, and that we could count on him to save Molly.
Dr. Winters didn't let us down, and he definitely didn't let Molly down, as he proceeded to induce labor and
deliver her healthy, but always feisty daughter, Misty. Even as a ten-year-old child, I knew the miracle he
performed that night, saving not only our animals, but also our potential livelihood. I realized that he was as
integral a part of our life, our business and our success. His unique skills allowed him to make a valuable
contribution to farming, without requiring the time, money and energy consumed by owning a farm.
I'm excited about the possibility of making veterinary science my career. I also believe that I am well-suited
to it, both academically and psycholoigcally. Ten years from now, I hope to be starting my own large animal
practice, providing the same old-fashioned 24-hour a day service that Dr. Winters does. Who knows, maybe
some day I'll save the life of a valued, injured animal and become another child's hero. It would be my
highest honor.
4) Career Goals
This applicant was accepted at Brown University and Yale University.
"Hey, what's that thing on your back?" Ryan asked. The entire soccer team turned to stare at the needle
sticking out the side of my shirt. I quickly yanked my sweatshirt over my head as I left the locker room.
"It's for my upper back pain." I mumbled, hoping to satisfy their curious stare. No such luck.
"A pin?" Ryan looked confused.
For my entire life, I have lived in two different worlds. As a first generation Indian-American, I spend my
summers in India, where I visit family members and embark on pilgrimages to Hindu temples. During my
annual acupuncture treatments, the "pins" to which Ryan referred help to diffuse my chronic back pain from
a childhood car accident. My life in the United States, on the other hand, exposed me to an entirely different
culture, in which students typically seek more "traditional" therapies for their injuries. As the first Indian
student to excel in my school's athletic program, I have embraced every opportunity to bridge the two
cultures. My acupuncture needles, just one exotic" aspect of my Indian culture, was an intriguing concept to
my American peers.
I have grown up in rural Alabama with my same group of friends for my entire life, which I have always
viewed as a mixed blessing. Although I greatly appreciate the small town atmosphere, our under-funded
public school system lacks the unlimited resources of more wealthy suburbs. As a result, I often must utilize
other avenues to enhance my educational experience. Over the years, I have become a skilled researcher
who explores the vast resources of the Internet and public library system. I also view my family trips across
the globe as invaluable educational opportunities. Despite my best efforts, my background is less
comprehensive than those of students from wealthier communities, who enjoy the benefits of language labs,
advanced science classes and exposure to the fine arts.
Despite the school's shortcomings, my parents have continuously reinforced the values of hard work and
persistence in all aspects of life. As a result, I have deliberately embraced every leadership opportunity on
campus. In addition to maintaining a 4.0 GPA, I am also captain of the soccer team. Between practices, I
tutor underclassmen and am an active member of the National Honor Society. These activities have given
me a contagious sense of confidence; when other students see my enthusiasm, they are also inspired to
achieve their own personal best.
After graduating from a rural high school, I am attracted to the vast resources and diverse population of a
large university, yet I am also committed to remaining true to my small town roots. When I envision my
professional future, I hope to practice medicine in a rural community, as my father has done for 23 years. My
background, as a first generation Indian-American, provides a unique opportunity to bridge the gap between
two very dissimilar approaches to healing. Hopefully, by the time I graduate from medical school, non-
invasive techniques like acupuncture will have gained acceptance as a viable treatment for all types of
illnesses and injuries.
Many times, like that day in the locker room with Ryan, I find myself educating others about the benefits of
alternative medicine. He smiled appreciably as I briefly explained the significance of the needle.
"Interesting," he smiled. "It's a lot easier than having surgery."
As we discussed our respective health care systems, I marveled at our similarities; we were simply two
intelligent young men exploring a chance to learn more about the world around us. With my unquenchable
thirst for knowledge, I am excited about my future learning experiences in college and medical school. By
challenging myself both inside and outside the classroom, I hope to explore my strengths and carve out my
own unique place in the world.
5) Career Goals
This applicant was accepted at Howard University, Carnegie Mellon University and the University of
Chicago.
For the past twenty-three years, I have been inspired by the mantra, no pain, no gain. Although
everyone endures agony in life, our character is shaped by how we choose to overcome our hardships. By
retaining a spirit of optimism during difficult times, I have discovered that all things are possible.
As a high school student, I suffered from a serious allergy that almost forced me to give up school.
I had a hard time accepting that I was different from other students and could not play with my friends. After
years of struggle, I realized that my interminable effort would some day give me a chance to make my
dreams come true. This one glimmer of hope planted a seed of confidence in my mind and helped me to
survive various medical therapies. Now that my sickness is cured, my optimism has fueled my application to
your graduate program.
During my most agonizing times, sports provided my only type of enjoyment. In 2002, when the
Taiwanese joined together during the world broadcast of the World Cup, I acknowledged the power of sports
to unite diverse groups of people. In addition to promoting fitness and teamwork, sports transcend
superficial differences in race, religion, language and culture; they are a universal source of joy and
inspiration. I decided to study sports administration to become part of such a wonderful profession. At your
school, I hope to acquire the deeper education and life experience that I will need to become succcessful
and respected in this competitive discipline.
When I suffered from my allergy, I learned that I should not be afraid of being different. As a result,
I developed the courage to try new things. By applying the lessons I learned from Dr. Jai Wong, one of my
professors, I produced a thesis on creative marketing strategies, which won Taiwan's National AdCom
competition. Around the same time, l graduated from XXXXX Broadcasting College in February 2005, with a
major in Public Relations & Advertising. With the support of numerous academic scholarships, I attained a
GPA of 4.08/4.5. Consequently, I feel well prepared for the many challenges that graduate school will
present.
I have great admiration for the program in sports administration at the University of XXXXX, which
holds an enviable international reputation. After completing my degree, I plan to return to Taiwan to share
my knowledge about sports management as a teacher and researcher. I also hope to use my knowledge to
solve specific problems in sports administration, to make athletics more accessible to children on a global
basis. With an education from the University of XXXXX, I will be well prepared to contribute to the
advancement of Taiwan, my native country. I cannot imagine a more exciting or fulfilling goal.
1) Role Models / Influential Person
This applicant was accepted at the University of Chicago, Northwestern University and Vanderbilt University.
Several years ago, I became intrigued by my family's history on the Nebraska plains. During her annual
visits to our home, my paternal grandmother shared her stories with me about growing up in the Shawnee
Indian tribe. The most vibrant stories were about Angelica, my paternal great-grandmother, who died before
I was born. According to my grandmother, Angelica had progressive ideas that were uncommon in her day
and age. She was one of the tribe's first social activists.
When I asked to see a picture of my great-grandmother, I was saddened to learn that few had ever been
taken. Yet my grandmother was delighted to paint a vivid picture of her mother on the canvas of my mind.
On a physical basis, she claimed that Angelica looked just like the woman on the Indian head nickel; she
had prominent cheek bones, a bold nose and a strong jaw that gave her face character. Like many women
of her day, Angelica was just over five feet tall, with shining black hair that reached to the floor.
Even more impressive was Angelica's role in preserving the tribe's history. During the late 1800's, when
most of the 20+ Indian tribes in Nebraska were transferred to reservations in Kansas and Oklahoma, several
Shawnee tribes stayed in southern Nebraska. Around this time, Angelica began to work as an agent of the
Bureau of Indian Affairs in Dodge City. Although few agents at the time were actually Indian, my great-
grandmother possessed the requisite language skills to do the job. Angelica distributed health supplies and
helped to establish schools, but her real talent was helping people become useful citizens. At a time when
few women had careers, my great-grandmother worked tirelessly to help people build better lives. Angelica
was also determined to assimilate the remaining Indian population into the mainstream American lifestyle.
After hearing so many stories about my great-grandmother, I smile whenever I see "her" image on an Indian
head nickel. What a wonderful role model Angelica must have been for the other women in her tribe!
Growing up in the twenty-first century, it is hard to envision a time when women had to fight for educational
and professional equality. It is even harder to imagine a society in which Native Americans were forcefully
segregated. I am honored to know that one of my ancestors was a true pioneer who devoted her life to the
service of others. As I embark on my own career in education, I will be guided by Angelica's heartfelt belief
that with hard work and determination, all things are possible.
2) Role Model / Influential Person
This applicant was accepted by Yale University and Princeton University.
When I was fifteen, I got my first paying job selling ice cream at the Dairy Queen near my house. It was one
of those seasonal outfits that opened for the hot summer months of May through September, then closed
while the owners wintered in Florida. I accepted the job with glee, relishing the idea of earning enough
money in the summer to relax and enjoy the rest of my school year.
My colleague at the ice cream counter was Mrs. Walker, a spry, hyperactive 80 -year-old who had more
energy than people a quarter her age. Mrs. Walker had been a long-time town resident who survived the
Depression, two World Wars, the Sixties and two decades beyond without ever aging in any meaningful way.
She had white hair and wrinkles, of course, but still had the good health, stamina and outgoing personality
that made life worth living at 80. She's someone who truly gives old people a good name.
I didn't know any of this the day I first met her, of course. I just saw an old lady who somehow didn't have
the sense to stay home and watch soap operas. What in the world did she think she was doing hustling ice
cream? And how big a dent would she put into my plans to pick up as many girls as possible?
I wasn't receptive at first when Mrs. Walker started to talk about her life. I grunted polite monosyllabic
responses to her stories about outliving two husbands and raising six kids during the Depression. What a
downer, I thought, as I quickly chased the thought of economic deprivation from my mind. I had never been
without money and I couldn't relate to the concept of people starving in the US. How could anyone starve
when ice cream was just 50 cents a cup?
During my second summer at the shop, Mrs. Walker seemed less spry than before, and I wondered if old
age was finally catching up with her. I politely asked if she was OK, praying silently that she wouldn't burden
me with some horrible tale of cancer or heart disease. She assured me that she was fine, but had a few
things on her mind. I didn't pursue it. We continued to work well together throughout the summer, with Mrs.
Walker occasionally taking the time to educate her "young James", as she called me. Mrs. Walker was very
prickly about interpersonal skills and always pushed me to go the extra distance with the customers, not just
the young pretty ones. She encouraged me to extend myself and try to make everyone leave with a smile. I
nodded politely, but thought it was the corniest thing I'd ever heard.
Mrs. Walker left early that summer, unexpectedly for me, but not to others who knew her well. She
volunteered for a missionary program in Colombia, to help care for orphaned infants whose lives and families
had been ravaged by the recent earthquakes. It seems that three of her sons are missionaries there and
had been presumed dead during the first quake. She hadn't heard from them for weeks after the disaster
and feared greatly about their well-being. Yet she never said a word about it. This had been her
troublesome "other things" that I hadn't bothered getting details about.
Fortunately, her sons survived, but overwhelmed her with tales of sick, orphaned children who needed help
from emergency personnel. Few volunteers were eager to accept an assignment in Colombia, with its
political and geographic uncertainty. It would truly take a saint to do it. Mrs. Walker didn't hesitate to accept
the challenge.
I'm not sure what impressed me the most. Maybe that she had raised three sons who were altruistic enough
to become missionaries and devote their lives to helping others. Possibly that at her advanced age, Mrs.
Walker still felt a calling to do something meaningful (even heroic) with her life. I was amazed that she would
risk life and limb without hesitation for children she didn't even know. I was humbled that she silently
weathered the potential loss of her sons and never once expressed her fears to anyone else. And,
amazingly, throughout all of this trauma, she still found the time and energy to try to teach me some
compassion.
Before meeting Mrs. Walker, I'd never taken the time to get to know anyone outside of my own safe,
privileged world. My idea of starvation was being served dinner an hour late. A tragedy was not having
enough money to buy a new CD. I felt ashamed of myself when I saw what a valuable contribution she was
making to the world, long after most people hung up their hats and retired to the golf course. I knew in my
heart that I'd missed a golden opportunity to learn about life from her while I was preoccupied trying to meet
girls.
I won't make that mistake again. Mrs. Walker is due to return from Colombia in two weeks and I've already
committed to being at her welcome home party. I'm looking forward to getting to know this special woman
better, even if it means having my manners critiqued. It won't be easy to get her to talk about the
experience, but I hope she'll take me into her confidence and discuss what's really going on in Colombia. I
care about it and I care about Mrs. Walker in a way I never dreamed possible.
My minister once said that people often get their guidance from God in the most unlikely places. He also
said that angels walk the earth unrecognized among the rest of us. In wildest dreams, I never thought I'd
meet one working by my side at Dairy Queen. But I did, and her name is Mrs. Walker.
This applicant was accepted at Bowdoin College, Temple University and Vanderbilt University.
My role models are probably very similar to those that most applicants discuss in their college applications.
I've been blessed with devoted parents, a strong extended family, and enjoy the influence of many generous
teachers, coaches and ministers in my community. I enjoy discussing life with older acquaintances, who are
happy to share the wisdom they have acquired through decades of experience. It isn't often that I observe
exemplary behavior in someone my own age that inspires me to emulate them. But Cassie Bernard is a rare
exception and I am proud to cite her as a role model.
The media extensively covered the Columbine High School shooting, and people worldwide collectively
grieved the loss of 17-year-old Cassie and her classmates. Those with strong Christian beliefs often cite her
as a martyr, as she reportedly confirmed her belief in God to her killer right before death. I am touched by
this knowledge, and know in my heart that Cassie's faith has been an inspiration to her family and friends.
I look up to Cassie not only for her faith, but for the courageous way that she lived. At the time of her death,
Cassie was reportedly on the right track. She was a good student, a devoted friend and a strong Christian.
But life hadn't always been this happy for her. Cassie had struggled with puberty, and fell prey to the to the
terrible temptations of drugs, sex and alcohol. For nearly a year, she fought with her family, abandoned her
faith and dabbled in the occult.
What inspires me about Cassie is that at age 16, she acknowledged her poor choices and sought help. She
approached both her parents and minister and asked them to help her find her way back to God. This could
not have been an easy step for her. Yet she struggled hard to overcome her addictions and to surround
herself with people who would love her and nurture her life rather than destroy it. Her courage, strength of
character and remarkable resiliency made her subsequent death at age 17 even more heartbreaking.
I can relate to Cassie on several levels. I attend a public school that is academically strong, but is not
isolated from drugs and alcohol. They are everywhere for those who seek them and there is strong peer
pressure to experiment. It is not easy to resist this, and yet I know that I must. Cassie's story helps me stay
on the right path. I am inspired by her ability to acknowledge her mistakes and seek help. I respect her
courage in ending destructive friendships and in establishing new ones. I'm particularly impressed by her
successful return to the very school where she had previously had so much trouble. I don't know if I would
have had her confidence in a similar situation.
When I think of Cassie, I try to focus not on her tragic death, but on her successful life. She was honest,
brave, loving and talented. She survived mistakes and problems as a teenager that most adults cannot
overcome. I'm certain that as Cassie matured she would have become a strong woman and a leader in her
community. I think she would have devoted her life to serving God and helping children stay on the right
path. She showed great courage in death, but even more in living a life that wasn't nearly as easy or
uncomplicated as it looked on the surface.
This applicant was accepted at Brown University and the University of Pennsylvania.
Athletes, rock stars, politicians. The highest-paid anchorwoman on CNN. For many students, the
most influential people in their lives are the "role models" that have been carefully created by the media.
They are the actors who win Academy Awards, the Senators who fight for a cause and the musicians who
give concerts for charity. Ignoring the all-pervasive media blitz, I've actually been more influenced by a
distant relative who lived on another continent for most of my life. Looking back, an seemingly insignificant
encounter with my maternal grandfather played a pivotal role in shaping the woman I have become.
As a young child, I did not have daily contact with my relatives like most of my friends did. With the
exception of my uncle, all of my extended family lives in Sweden, which makes it hard to stay in touch.
Every two or three years, we visit them and try to catch up on each other's lives. When I was about twelve,
we took my grandparents to a seaside resort called Gurnee. After visiting the aquarium, my grandfather
decided to wait in the car while the rest of us took a walk on the beach. When I returned, I found him looking
at the wall that divided the sand and the parking lot. He asked me to sit next to him because he wanted to
show me something.
As I sat, my grandfather explained that the wall was full of shells that had been pushed into the
cement. He described how fossils were made and why it was important that we have them. As I sat there
talking with my grandfather, the time flew by. We didn't even notice that the rest of the family had taken a
detour to the local ice cream shop. After we returned to the hotel, my grandfather continued to tell me about
the rare fossils he had found during a dig near the coast of Turkey.
Our conversation did not have special significance to me until my grandfather's death four years
later. When I thought about the day we spent together, I realized that our talk at the resort was one of the
few private conversations we ever had. A distinguished archeologist, his dry monologues about fossils were
snooze-fests to the rest of my non-scientific family. I was the only one who had showed the slightest interest
in the field that he loved.
In hindsight, the significance of our talk was not about fossils; it was a rare chance to spend time
with my grandfather and absorb just a small fraction of his knowledge. Archeology was his passion, which he
was excited to share with me. I wish I had been mature enough to ask him questions about a topic that he
obviously loved. Our brief talk made me realize the importance of every conversation and the meaning
behind small gestures.
A budding scientist in my own right, I also learned to cherish the wealth of wisdom that was right
under my nose. Looking back, my grandfather's love of science was the catalyst to my own professional
aspirations. His excitement about fossils inspired me to study them for my senior project; I am now applying
to college with an eye on a research career. Through this experience, I learned that a role model can
appear in our lives when we least expect. Just because the person is not rich and powerful does not mean
that they can't influence our lives.
This applicant was accepted by Harvard University, Northwestern University, the University of Pennsylvania
and Georgetown University.
I met my most cherished role model while falling off a pair of uneven parallel bars. We both fell at the same
time, landing with a loud, sickening thud on the thick protective floor mats beneath us. If I think about it for
too long, I can easily remember the shooting pain down my right arm as I used it to brace my fall. I'd like to
say that I recovered faster and just jumped back up on the bars, but that wouldn't be true. Chuck did, and he
did it with a smile.
Chuck and I are not athletes and I can safely say that we never will be. We met at the University of Miami
rehab facility for patients with spinal cord injuries. Chuck and I had both suffered nerve damage from
separate car accidents within a few days of each other. Although we had never met before, we became
roommates at the facility and friends for life.
Chuck's damage was far more serious than mine and he knew from day one that he faced an uphill struggle.
While he had several vertebrate still intact, he was facing extensive physical therapy to regain even partial
use of his legs. His days as an avid tennis player and teenage heartthrob were over, at least for awhile. His
parents were heartbroken and didn't know how they would be able to pay for his extended care. But to meet
Chuck and not know his prognosis, you'd be convinced he was just facing a few days of simple exercises.
My reaction to my injury was very different. I was a feisty, 16-year-old daredevil who had managed to total
my car and my left leg trying to drive in an ice storm. My parents had pleaded with me not to drive that night,
but I insisted I'd have no trouble handling the car for the scant three miles between my job and home. It's
amazing how wrong I was. Fortunately, fate spared me from permanent damage, but not from excruciating
pain. I broke four bones in my left leg and needed extensive surgery to repair them. I also needed physical
therapy to rebuild the lost muscle and damaged tendons. It was doable, I just needed to concentrate and
focus on getting better.
I don't know why I was so incredibly angry. I wasn't going to die or lose my leg, but I was still filled with
incredible rage that this was happening to me. I had always been a successful person and very responsible.
I could handle anything. When I put my mind to accomplish something, I could do it better, faster and more
creatively than anyone else. Now I couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself. I couldn't walk. I couldn't
keep a 1996 Suzuki Swift on the road in an ice storm.
I wallowed as far in self-pity as a human can without being shot. I turned the corner the day I met Chuck.
Here was someone a lot like me: young, smart, funny and talented, who was going through the same thing.
We were kindred spirits in many ways, two young guys having a unique crummy life experience at the same
time. So we bonded the only way we could: by competing.
My life's focus became doing better than Chuck. If he could do nine leg lifts, I had to do ten. If he survived
ten minutes of massage, I had to have fifteen. We coordinated our therapy sessions for the same days and
times and found that it really improved our mood. The doctors supported anything that helped our progress.
Chuck was always an inspiration for me. He cheered me up when I felt down and challenged me to do
better when I was making progress. I didn't realize when he hit a plateau.
After three months I was able to leave the rehab center and return home. I left not knowing that Chuck
would never leave his wheelchair. We talked by phone every few days and he never let on that his
prognosis had been downgraded. His doctor was pessimistic for recovery of his legs and his family made
plans to move him to a group home a few hours away. He needed to switch his focus from recovery to
adjustment. By the time I made plans to return and visit Chuck, he had already moved.
Chuck is my role model for many reasons. He survived a debilitating accident without showing anger or self-
pity. He kept his keen sense of humor and invested energy in helping a stranger to get well. He offered
friendship and support at a time when most other people, including me, would have only been takers. He
was a fighter, but he accepted defeat graciously when he realized his life would never be the same. He was
a survivor.
It isn't often that I meet another person my own age with so much character and maturity. I am proud to call
Chuck a friend and I wish that I could do more to help him. We remain close via telephone and email and
I'm sure he will be successful in life. His legacy to me is his selflessness. The next time I'm faced with a real
challenge in life, I have Chuck as an example of how to handle it with grace and style. Whenever life knocks
me off the parallel bars, I'll think of Chuck and pick myself off the mat and keep on trying. He'd expect
nothing less of me.

Ivy League Admission Essays: Successful Undergraduate Essays

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Reading and Writing across Disciplines

Introduction: The College Admissions Process

4. Submit your essay to our course on turnitin.com

Summer Writing: Submitting Drafts On-line

1. Visit: www.turnitin.com & Log-in

If you have not used turnitin.com in the past, create an account:

Enjoy your summer!

130 Successful Undergraduate Essays

Nancy L. Nolan, Ph.D.

Magnificent Milestones, Inc., Florida

130 Successful Undergraduate Essays

Introduction: The College Admission Process

The Role of Essays in the Admissions Decision

Successful Admission Essays:

Discuss a Musical or Artistic Passion

A Change You Will Make in Your Community

How Personal Statements are Used in the Admissions Process

a. explain their motivation and goals

Active Voice: The cow jumped over the moon.

Yes, it sounds that silly when you use it, too!

Common Pitfalls to Avoid

5. Resist the urge to write a manipulative or argumentative essay on a controversial issue. Be

Admissions officers seek the following traits in MBA applicants:

motivation maturity enthusiasm honesty

ESSAY 1: Discuss an Artistic or Musical Talent

This student was accepted at Brown University and Vassar College.

ESSAY 2: Discuss an Artistic or Musical Talent

ESSAY 3: Discuss an Artistic or Musical Talent

ESSAY 4: Discuss an Artistic or Musical Talent

ESSAY 5: Discuss an Artistic or Musical Talent

This student was accepted at Princeton University and Dartmouth University.

This student was accepted at Princeton University and Georgetown University.

This student was accepted at Harvard University and Yale University.

ESSAY 1: Discuss an Illness or Disability

ESSAY 2: Discuss an Illness or Disability

This student was accepted at Columbia University and Temple University.

In a single heartbeat, all of my troubles seemed to pale in comparison to my mother's dilemma. I

ESSAY 3: Discuss an Illness or Disability

ESSAY 4: Discuss an Illness or Disability

ESSAY 5: Discuss an Illness or Disability

This student was accepted at Duke University and Brown University.

powerful optimism for the future.

ESSAY 3: Write page 217 of your 300-page autobiography.

ESSAY 4: Write page 217 of your 300-page autobiography.

This student was accepted at Johns-Hopkins University and Temple University.

ESSAY 5: Write page 217 of your 300-page autobiography.

What was the greatest meal you have ever eaten?

What do your possessions say about you?

ESSAY 1: Discuss an Athletic Achievement

ESSAY 2: Discuss an Athletic Achievement

ESSAY 3: Discuss an Athletic Achievement

This student was accepted at Brown University and Yale University.

ESSAY 4: Discuss an Athletic Achievement

ESSAY 5: Discuss an Athletic Achievement

ESSAY 2: Candidates Assess What Makes Them Unique

ESSAY 3: Candidates Assess What Makes Them Unique

ESSAY 4: Candidates Assess What Makes Them Unique

ESSAY 5: Candidates Assess What Makes Them Unique

ESSAY 1: Discuss an International Travel Experience

ESSAY 2: Discuss an International Travel Experience

This student was accepted at Stanford University and Yale University.

ESSAY 3: Discuss an International Travel Experience