Girls Circle Manual - Facilitator Training Manual

The Center for Dispute Resolution Training Workshops Mediation
Missouri State University, Department of Communication Park Central Office Building 212
www.missouristate.edu/cdr (417) 836-8831 fax (417) 836-8288
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December 2014
Table of Contents
Introduction to the Center for Dispute Resolution ....................................................................................... 1
Who They Are and What They Do .............................................................................................................. 1
Director of the CDR .................................................................................................................................. 1
Associate Director of the CDR ................................................................................................................ 2
Graduate Assistants and Other Positions within the CDR ................................................................. 2
How the CDR Has Helped ............................................................................................................................ 2
Stay Updated on All Things CDR ................................................................................................................ 3
About Girls Circle ................................................................................................................................................ 4
What is Girls Circle? ....................................................................................................................................... 4
Girls Circle Mission Statement ...................................................................................................................... 4
Training a Facilitator ........................................................................................................................................... 6
What is a Facilitator? ....................................................................................................................................... 6
Training Dates and Schedule ......................................................................................................................... 6
Facilitator Application .................................................................................................................................... 7
Circles for Girls Facilitator Application .................................................................................................. 9
The Different Types of Circles ........................................................................................................................ 11
School Circles ................................................................................................................................................. 11
Juvenile Circles ............................................................................................................................................... 11
Circle Age Groups ......................................................................................................................................... 11
Helpful Circle Materials .................................................................................................................................... 12
Circle for Girls Model................................................................................................................................... 12
Theme Ideas ................................................................................................................................................... 13
School Facilitator To-Do List ..................................................................................................................... 14
Group Guideline Tips .................................................................................................................................. 15
Facilitation Tips ............................................................................................................................................. 15
Difficult Group Dynamics ........................................................................................................................... 17
What Would You Do? ............................................................................................................................. 18
Journal Response Tips .................................................................................................................................. 19
Journal Scenarios ...................................................................................................................................... 20
Tough Topics ............................................................................................................................................ 20
Facilitator Journal Entry Examples ....................................................................................................... 21
Welcome Letter.............................................................................................................................................. 23
Farewell Letter ............................................................................................................................................... 24
Just Because Poem .................................................................................................................................... 25
Ideas for Icebreakers and Games ............................................................................................................... 26
PAUSE ............................................................................................................................................................ 28
Curriculum Resources ....................................................................................................................................... 29
Weekly Report Sample.................................................................................................................................. 29
Girls Circle Beginning and Ending Surveys .............................................................................................. 29
Juvenile Circle Information .............................................................................................................................. 39
Juvenile Circle Facilitator To-Do List ........................................................................................................ 39
Meet and Greet Checklist............................................................................................................................. 41
Pledge to Participate Form...................................................................................................................... 43
Emergency Contact/Authorization to Pick Up Form ....................................................................... 44
Mandated Reporting Information ................................................................................................................... 45
Mandated Reporting for Missouri .............................................................................................................. 45
Abuse Information ........................................................................................................................................ 47
Identifying Abused Children................................................................................................................... 47
Handling a Disclosure .............................................................................................................................. 50
Why Children Dont Tell Us They Have Been Abused ..................................................................... 50
Why Do Children Finally Tell Someone They Are Being Sexually Abused? .................................. 50
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Mandatory Reporting Checklist.............................................................................................................. 53
Mandated Reporting Scenarios ................................................................................................................... 55
Girls Circle Training .......................................................................................................................................... 57
Training Evaluation Forms .......................................................................................................................... 59
References ........................................................................................................................................................... 61
Appendix A: School Facilitator To-Do List .................................................................................................. 63
Appendix B: Juvenile Circle To-Do List ........................................................................................................ 65
Appendix C: Meet and Greet Checklist ......................................................................................................... 67
Appendix D: Sample 8-Week Curriculum ..................................................................................................... 69
Week One: Celebrating My Individuality .................................................................................................. 69
Week Two: Being a Girl ............................................................................................................................... 71
Week Three: Friendships ............................................................................................................................. 73
Week Four: Relationships ............................................................................................................................ 77
Week Five: Family and Conflict .................................................................................................................. 85
Conflict Styles Test ................................................................................................................................... 87
Conflict Management Styles ................................................................................................................... 88
Week Six: Positive Self-Talk ........................................................................................................................ 89
Positive Self-Talk: The Inner Voice ...................................................................................................... 91
Activity Handout: Inner Critic vs. Inner Champion ........................................................................... 92
Activity Handout: Self-Talk Samples..................................................................................................... 92
Week Seven: A Healthy Me ......................................................................................................................... 95
Introduction to A Healthy Me Discussion about Stress ................................................................ 97
Week Eight: Self-Esteem ............................................................................................................................. 99
Appendix E: Authorization to Participate and Release Information ...................................................... 101
Appendix F: Invite List ................................................................................................................................... 103
Take Your Own Notes ................................................................................................................................... 105
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Introduction to the Center for Dispute Resolution
In this manual, you will find information about the Center for Dispute Resolutions Circle for Girls, (also known as
Girls Circle) including what Girls Circle is and what a Girls Circle facilitator does. There are helpful curriculum
resources for facilitators available in this manual, as well as practice methods for handling certain aspects of Girls
Circle.
In the next few sections, you will find information about the Center for Dispute Resolution (CDR), including who
they are and what they do, their administrators and assistants, how the CDR has helped, and how you can keep in
touch with the CDR.
Who They Are and What They Do

The Center for Dispute Resolution is an organization located in the Department of Communication and the College
of Arts and Letters at Missouri State University.
The CDR exists to provide educational and outreach services that give people, organizations, and communities the
tools they need to productively manage conflicts. The CDR accomplishes this goal in several ways by:
Offering conflict management, mediation, training, and educational services;

Supporting educational and community programs; and
Forming collaborative partnerships with key agencies to promote alternative forms of dispute resolution and
innovative programs and processes in conflict management and resolution.
The mission, goals, and activities of the CDR are directly related to the public affairs mission of Missouri State
University, in particular the goal of community engagement, which states that, Students will recognize the
importance of contributing their knowledge and experiences to their own community and the broader society.
By providing training and education, supporting high-impact community programs and outreach services, and
advancing the field of conflict management, the CDR actively promotes and embodies the Universitys public affairs
mission while providing valuable services to this region and beyond.
To contact the Center for Dispute Resolution, either email them at CDR@MissouriSate.edu or call or fax them at
(417) 836-8831. You can also contact the CDR via mail at the address below:
Missouri State University

Center for Dispute Resolution
901 S. National
Springfield, MO 65897
Director of the CDR

Dr. Charlene Berquist is the Director of the Center for Dispute Resolution and a
professor in the Department of Communication at Missouri State University. Dr.
Berquist teaches graduate-level courses in a number of areas, including conflict,
mediation, family communication, and research methods. She is also an
experienced mediator, facilitator, conflict coach, trainer, and presenter. She works Director Dr. Charlene Berquist
extensively with students as the program director for the conflict certificate
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programs, coordinating internship experiences for students through the CDR, and advising practicums and theses.
She also maintains the CDR's collaborative partnerships with community organizations and institutions, supervises
the training and support of volunteers, and oversees the research work of the CDR.
To contact Dr. Charlene Berquist, please either email her at charleneberquist@Missouristate.edu, or call her at (417)
836-8831.
Associate Director of the CDR

Heather Blades is the Associate Director of the CDR. She works full time at the CDR
and has been with the Center since 2006. Ms. Blades holds a masters degree in
professional writing and a graduate certificate in conflict and dispute resolution. Ms.
Blades is an experienced conflict coach, presenter/trainer, and family group
conference facilitator. She oversees the day to day operations at the CDR and works
closely with students and community volunteers. Additionally, Ms. Blades teaches in
the conflict certificate programs.
Associate Director Heather Blades To contact Heather Blades, please either email her at hblades@missouristate.edu or
call her at (417) 836-8831.
Graduate Assistants and Other Positions within the CDR

The CDR offers internship and practicum opportunities as well as work study positions to both undergraduate and
graduate students every semester. These students may work in the CDR office or they may participate directly in the
CDRs programs, be involved in research, or help develop new programs and/or curriculum.
The work of the CDR would not be possible without the generous support of many volunteers who give their time
and expertise to the Centers various projects and programs. Volunteers include Missouri State faculty and students,
professional mediators, and community members.
How the CDR Has Helped

The CDR began in Springfield as a community organization in the early 1990s and was named The Center for
Conflict Resolution. It was formed to educate the general public and specialized populations (i.e. police) about
informal conflict resolution procedures that avoid litigation and to deliver mediation services. By the year 2000 the
activities of the CCR had virtually ceased. The Board of Directors at the time had decided to disband the CCR as
a nonprofit corporation when several board members volunteered to investigate if another organization would take
on the functions of the CCR.
Missouri State University (then Southwest Missouri State University) seemed a perfect fit for the CCR, particularly
given its mission in public affairs (in particular the use of disciplinary expertise to address the problems of society).
The Board approached the Department of Communication to take on the CCR, seeing a direct relationship between
the departments mission and direction, including the potential for research, the application of faculty expertise, and
the potential for the Center to serve as a laboratory for student education, training, and research in conflict and
conflict resolution. Another goal was to provide a centralized location for curriculum development pertaining to
conflict and dispute resolution (including a graduate certificate in dispute resolution) as well as to heighten
awareness about alternative methods of dispute resolution.
The Department of Communication incorporated the Center, changing the name to the Center for Dispute
Resolution (CDR). Dr. John Sisco, an emeritus faculty member in Communication, volunteered to direct the CDR
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through the summer of 2002. Dr. Charlene Berquist became the Center Director in August of 2002 and remains the
Director today.
Since becoming a part of the Department of Communication, the CDR has flourished, providing programs that
encompass a unique blend of university goals and community needs and interests. Over the years the CDR has
grown significantly, expanding services, increasing programs, and raising awareness of alternative forms of dispute
resolution and effective conflict management. Today the CDR is the largest single grant-award recipient in the
College of Arts and Letters and is known throughout the region as a leader in providing training and developing
innovative community programs. Additionally, the CDR supports Missouri States largest certificate programthe
undergraduate and graduate certificates in Conflict and Dispute Resolution.
Stay Updated on All Things CDR

To receive updates on the Center for Dispute Resolution, you can do any of these tasks:
Join the CDR email list at <http://tinyurl.com/kaltsht>;
Follow the Center for Dispute Resolution Non-Profit Organization on Facebook;
Follow the CDR on Twitter at @MSUCDR; or
Follow the CDRs blog at <http://blogs.missouristate.edu/cdr/>.
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About Girls Circle
In this section, you will find information about Girls Circle and its purpose, as well as the Girls Circle mission
statement. This information has been gathered from the Girls Circle Associations 2007 Girls Circle Facilitator Manual:
Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls.
What is Girls Circle?

The founders of the Girls Circle AssociationBeth Hossfeld, MFT, and Giovanna Taorminaprovide the
definition of Girls Circle in their 2007 Girls Circle Facilitator Manual: Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls. According
to the founders:
Girls Circle is a model of structured support groups for girls from 9-18 years. It is designed to foster self-
esteem, help girls maintain authentic connection with peers and adult women in their community, counter
trends toward self-doubt, and allow for genuine self-expression through verbal sharing and creative activity.
Each week, a group of six to ten girls of similar age and development meet with a facilitator for a couple
hours. During this time the girls take turns talking and listening to one another about their concerns and
interests. The girls can express themselves further through creative or focused activities such as role playing,
drama, journaling, poetry, movement, drawing, collage, clay, computer, and so on. Oftentimes, themes are
introduced which relate to the girls livessuch as being a girl, trusting ourselves, friendships, body image,
goals, competition, and decision-making.
To participate, girls need only to have the desire, make a commitment to attend meetings, and agree to
follow the circle guidelines: no put-downs or interruptions, offer experiencesnot advice; keep the focus
on oneself; and keep whats said in the group private. Girls are free to share at their own pace. Through
listening and respect for themselves and others, participants can reflect on and express their own thoughts
and feelings with peers. The Girls Circle does not aim to provide advice, but encourages girls to share
experiences that are helpful to one another.
When girls voice their ideas and opinions in a safe environment, it strengthens their confidence and
encourages them to express themselves more fully. By examining cultural expectations in a safe and
supportive setting, girls gain greater awareness of their options and strengthen their ability to make choices
that are consistent with their values, interests, and talents.
The Girls Circle model has been applied to programs in areas such as juvenile probation, schools, peer
leadership, health education, economic literacy, outdoor adventure, positive youth development, athletics,
pregnancy prevention, boys and girls clubs, scouting groups, school advisory groups, gang-prevention, and
substance abuse preventionwherever girls come together! (xi)
Girls Circle Mission Statement

The Girls Circle Facilitator Manual: Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls also clearly states the mission of the Girls
Circle program. According to the manual:
The Girls Circle Association seeks to promote girls resiliency and connection by equipping group
facilitators with skills, resources, and curricula to hold Girls Circles in their communities.
Our purpose is to encourage the development of strength, courage, confidence, honesty, and
communication skills for girls. Our goal is to enhance girls abilities so they are able to take full advantage of
their talents, academic interests, career pursuits, and potential for healthy relationships.
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Girls Circle Facilitator Training aims to furnish adults with the knowledge, skills, and support to effectively
facilitate Girls Circles.
We believe that Girls Circles are uniquely positioned to address and challenge cultural messages which limit
and distort girls self-image. We have found that girls self-expression within a safe[,] caring environment
encourages self-confidence, authenticity in relationships, and enhanced judgment skills.
While the Girls Circle Facilitator Training focuses on meeting the needs of girls, it holds an underlying
respect for and belief in the rights to equality, dignity, and opportunity for all, regardless of race, creed,
culture, gender, or age. (xii)
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Training a Facilitator
In this section you will find an introduction to what a facilitator does, and who a facilitator is. Also included are
materials necessary towards becoming a facilitator. These materials include a training schedule and an application.
What is a Facilitator?
The Girls Circle Facilitator Manual: Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls defines the role of a facilitator. Their definition
of a facilitator is below:
Facilitators may be teachers, mental health workers, probation officers, businesswomen, neighbors,
counselors, artists, parents, ministers, or other youth workers. We have various talents and skills to
offer girls
Aspects of the facilitators role include preparing for the theme and activity plan each session, knowing and
accessing professionals for consultation and referrals as needs arise for girls, having cultural competence,
promoting interaction, developing group agreements, involving circle members as much as possible, and
managing difficult group dynamics.
Of utmost importance is the facilitators primary task protecting the physical, emotional and
social/cultural safety of the group.
Physical Safety [G]irls know they wont be harmed physically or sexually and are safe from
people that have harmed them in the past
Emotional Safety Girls can experience trusted relationships in which they feel valued and
supported; they are safe from verbal and racial harassment
Social/Cultural Safety Practices, attitudes, and activities enhance girls comfort and trust when
they honor and recognize girls varied traditions, class, and beliefs. (45-46)
Training Dates and Schedule

The dates and schedule for the Facilitator Training will be decided upon by your supervisor. A list of upcoming
training dates and training topics is located on the CDRs website at www.missouristate.edu/cdr/Training.htm.
During training you will be required to fill out a schedule sheet. This sheet allows you to choose which Circle times
are best for you. Which Circles you get assigned to will be determined by your schedule and how many Circles you
indicated you wanted to facilitate.
A sample schedule from the September 6, 2014 training has been provided below:
8:30-9:00 Breakfast
Fill Out Schedule Sheets
Complete Background Checks
9:00-9:15 Opening and Introductions
9:15-10:15 Introduction to Circles for Girls: Research, Rationale, & Circle Model
10:15-10:30 Break
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10:30-12:00 Group Circle
Opening Ritual: Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind dont matter and those
who matter dont mind.
Check-In: One High and Low from Today
Introduction of Theme: Reconnecting with Ourselves: Past and Present
Activity #1: Write a Letter to Teenage Self
Closing Circle: Affirmations: Name One Takeaway from Training
Closing Ritual
12:00-12:30 Lunch
12:30-1:15 Mandated Reporting: What You Need to Know
1:15-2:15 Panel Discussion #1

Maintaining Own Identity & Privacy While Working with Girls
Answering Personal Questions
Dealing with Tough Situations
Responding to Difficult Girls
2:15-2:30 Snack Break & Activity
2:30-3:15 All About Journaling
3:15-4:15 Panel Discussion #2

What I wish I had known
Advice for New Facilitators
4:15-4:30 Closing Remarks

Evaluation Forms
Facilitator Application
In order to become a facilitator, you will need to fill out an application (see page 9 for a copy of the application). If
you have not already done so, please fill this out and turn it in to your supervisor so that you can become an official
Girls Circle facilitator.
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Circles for Girls Facilitator Application
Circles for Girls facilitators are to be screened to determine their appropriateness for the role of a Circle facilitator.
This screening includes a comprehensive background check, which may include, but is not limited to, a criminal
history check and a child abuse/neglect history check.
By signing below, you authorize the Center for Dispute Resolution to conduct a comprehensive background check,
and you release the Center for Dispute Resolution and any other agencies involved from any liability that may result.
You also testify that the information provided on this volunteer application is true and correct to the best of your
knowledge.
Signed: Date:
Personal Information
First Name: Middle Name: Last Name:
Date of Birth: Social Security Number:
Email Address:
Home Phone: Work Phone:
Address:
Company/Organization:
Previous Home Address (including dates of residence):
Previous Home Address (including dates of residence):
The Center for Dispute Resolution Training Workshops Mediation

Missouri State University, Department of Communication Park Central Office Building 212
www.missouristate.edu/cdr (417) 836-8831 fax (417) 836-8288
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The Different Types of Circles
In this section, you will become familiar with the various types of Girls Circle programs the CDR has to offer. Each
section, while similar in that it allows the girls to come together and express themselves in a safe environment, has
significant differences in the way that the Circles are approached.
School Circles
School Circles are during school hoursthe girls get out of class in order to attend. The time span for Circles range
from fifty to ninety minutes, depending on what the school counselor is able to set up. For fifty minute groups,
facilitators must choose a couple of key parts of the lesson to go over because fifty minutes makes for a rather short
Circle. Ninety minute Circles can normally go through the entire curriculum.
Juvenile Circles
Referrals to the Girls Circle Program are received by your supervisor for girls ages twelve to seventeen. When these
referrals are received, from either the Greene County Juvenile Office or a guardian who calls in a request for the girl
to join, the girls are divided up into older and younger groups. Facilitators will use the same curriculum as the
school Circles, they will just adapt it to the appropriate age group.
Juvenile Circles take place in the evening for two hours. These Circles are held in the Girls Circle room, currently
located in the Park Central Office Buildings basement.
Circle Age Groups

The CDR currently works with girls, ages twelve to seventeen, for Girls Circle programs. Younger girls may be
more enthusiastic about Circle; however, sometimes the information discussed is too difficult for them. These girls
also have shorter attention spans. Right now, the CDR has set up curriculum that works well with thirteen to fifteen
year-olds. For girls who are in, or around, their freshman year of high school, facilitators usually bring in their own
activities to help bring the maturity level up. Just remember that some lessons work better for older girls and some
for younger girls.
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Helpful Circle Materials
In this section, you will find materials that may prove useful for you to have or to replicate during your Circle.
These materials include an outline for Girls Circle; a to-do list for Circle; group guidelines, facilitation, and journal
response tips; examples of a Welcome Letter and a Farewell Letter; icebreaker and game examples; and PAUSE.
Circle for Girls Model

Girls Circle has a specific formula that it follows. Below is the model for Girls Circle that you will need to follow:
Circle for Girls Model

Each Circle will begin with an Opening Ritual to signify the start of the Circle process.
This creates a special atmosphere and encourages the girls to focus on Circle time.
Opening Ritual Examples: Lighting a candle, ringing a bell, reading a quote, a moment of silence, etc.
Please keep in mind that in the schools we are not allowed to light a candle.
The theme is introduced by the facilitator(s) and is a short summary of what is planned
for the meeting. The theme will be shown throughout the lesson, so the facilitator does
Theme not need to go into great detail at this time.
Introduction
During Check-In, girls will be allowed time to share a high and low from their week.
This can range from what happened at school today, how they are feeling at that time, or
something that happened with their parents, to conflict with a friend, or
Check-In boyfriend/girlfriend problems. Facilitators should feel free to also share with the group
during this time.
Activities should be designed to help the girls learn about the topic covered each week.
Sample curriculum gives examples of activities that facilitators can use (see Appendix D
Activity on page 69). Facilitators are welcome to add or subtract from that curriculum.
Girls need a time to talk through and process what happened during Activity. This can be
a reflection of a discussion, or sharing of a project. When facilitators ask appropriate
questions, girls are more willing to share openly about their feelings, discuss how they
Reflecting on interpret games, and make that connection between the theme and their experiences in
Activity the real world and with each other.
This is a private time for the girls to answer questions that facilitators ask about the
weekly theme. It is an intimate note-passing process that allows the facilitator and the
girl to create a stronger bond. This also allows the girl to ask or talk about anything she
did not feel comfortable talking about during Circle. It allows the girls to open up to the
Journal facilitator on a deeper level. Usually during this time facilitators will allow the girls to
listen to music and journal for about eight to ten minutes.
The Closing Ritual is very important to closing the group. It sends the girls off with a
positive tone and respect for everyone in the group.
Closing Ritual Examples: Blowing out the candle, having each girl state a positive affirmation about
herself, ringing a bell, reading a poem or quote, etc.
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Theme Ideas
As part of your curriculum, you will need to come up with themes for each weeks Circle topic. Below are some
theme ideas taken from the Girls Circle Facilitator Manual: Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls (33):
Theme Ideas
Gender Issues: Being a Girl, Defining Ourselves, Activism/Advocacy: Political Activism, Social
Relational Aggression, Being Female, Being Pretty Advocacy: Girls Voices in Action, Ending
and Smart, Feminism, Gender Roles and Violence Against Women, Human Rights,
Stereotypes, Holding onto Our Voices, Homelessness, Higher Education, Global
Menstruation, Physical Development, Motherhood, Warming, Endangered Species, Community
Self-Defense, Womens History, Womens Talents Activism, Hunger, Endangered Species, Resistance
and Achievements, Media: Portrayal of Bodies, Strategies, Sustainable Living, Natural Resources
Personal History of their Lives, Values and Its Bodies: Media & Cultural Images, Beauty Myths,
Affects Consumer Products: Healthy vs. Hype, Self-Care,
Relationships: Relationship to Self, Family Sexuality, Nutrition, Sports, Physical Strength
(Changes, Rules, Expectations), Friends, Teachers, Isms: Racism, Sexism, Homophobia, Classism,
Communities, Relationship with Boys/Men Labeling, Size-ism
(Intimacy vs. Sex), Ancestry (Family Origins, Conflict: Tolerance, Communication Skills,
Stories), Relationships to Authority Figures Choices, Resolution, Anger Management
Mental/Psychological Health: Feelings, Life Skills: Finances, Money Management, Care-
Understanding and Naming Feelings, Coping with taking, Independent Living, Communication,
Difficult Feelings, Identity: Who Am I, Definitions Visioning, Goal Setting
of Strength, Stress Management, Handling Addictions: Drugs, Alcohol, Nicotine, Bulimia,
Anger/Anger Management, Handling Loss, Grief, Anorexia, Cutting, Sex, Perfection, Achievement
Death, Divorce, Mental Illness
Boundaries: Personal Boundaries, Sexual
Diversity: Cultural Differences (Types, Styles, Boundaries, Dating Violence, Domestic Violence,
Expression, Spirituality, Dress), Celebrating Harassment Issues, Legal Aspects of Harassment,
Differences, Understanding Differences in Dress, Peer Pressure
Social Customs, Sexuality, Family Structure,
Sexuality: Sexual Preferences, Healthy vs.
Spirituality, Self-Expression, Language, Heroes,
Unhealthy, Sexual Addictions, Rape, Safe Sex,
[H]eroines, Mythical Figures, Religious Figures,
HIV Prevention, Birth Control, Stud vs. Slut
Holidays
Messages, Love vs. Lust, Desire
Values: Courage vs. Fear, Compassion vs.
Mockery, Choice Making vs. Passivity, Truth Telling Nature/Earth/Spirituality/Holidays:
vs. Making Nice, Differences vs. Fitting In, Goals, Interconnection of Life, Seasons & Cycles,
Dreams, Aspirations, Envisioning a Future Self, Spirituality: Differing Expressions, Responsibility
Responsibility for Self and Responsibility to Others, to Earth, Roles and Relationship with Natural
Success: What is it in Our Society? Our Families? World, Holiday Themes, Natural Holidays (Fall,
Defining Success for Myself Spring, Equinox, Winter, Summer Solstice),
Meanings, Rituals, Our Gift to Earth, Prayer,
Female Energies: Archetypal, Mythical, Goddess
Meditation, Guided Imagery, and Visualization
Qualities
Dreams: Aspirations, Goal-Setting, Daydreams,
Night Dreams
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School Facilitator To-Do List
Before Circle begins, for the first Circle, for each Circle, and for your final Circle, you will need to perform certain
tasks. These tasks are listed below so that you can reference them in the future. A less in-depth, and printable
version of this to-do list can be found in Appendix A (see page 63).
Before Circle Begins

Contact co-facilitator. You will receive your assignment by email.
Coordinate with co-facilitator in order to reach out to your assigned school counselor(s) and introduce
yourselves.
Set up a meeting with your school counselor(s) the week prior to your Circle start date if possible.
Write a Welcome Letter in each of the girls journals. Remember to use the small white journals. Share this
task with your co-facilitator (see page 23 for an example Welcome Letter).
For the First Circle

Bring Beginning Surveys for each of the girls to fill out (see pages 31-34). Turn these in to your supervisor
when you are able.
Have the girls create a set of guidelines for Circle and write them on a poster board.
When the first Circle is complete, facilitators should split up the journals to take home and write responses.
Facilitators should respond to the same girls after each Circle (see pages 19-22 for more information about
journals).
For Each Circle

Make sure to respond to each girls journal prior to every Circle. It is recommended you write your
responses in some sort of word document and then hand-write your response in the journal. Give yourself
enough time to respond properly to each girl. Rushed entries may not end up being as meaningful. Try to
make each entry fill up a page in the journal.
Plan a time to meet with your co-facilitator in order to plan the Circle.
Collect whatever supplies/snacks you will need from the Girls Circle room at the CDR. If you let someone
know when you will be coming by, they will make sure you have access to the room. (Please let your
supervisor know if any supplies/snacks need replenished.)
At each Circle, display the guidelines the girls created during the first Circle.
Enjoy your time with the girls!
Complete Weekly Report and send it to your supervisor (see page 29). Only one Report is needed per Circle.
For Final Circle

Begin preparation for Final Circle around Week 9.
Notify your supervisor at least a week in advance of your Circle graduation date. Make sure to provide the
first and last names, as well as T-shirt sizes of each of the girls in your Circle. This information should have
been filled out in the Beginning Survey. Your supervisor will provide certificates, T-shirts, and cupcakes for
you to take.
Respond to girls in a new, nicer journal that the CDR will provide. Also include a Farewell Letter for each
of the girls (see page 22 for an example Farewell Letter). Turn the small white journals in to your supervisor.
Bring Ending Surveys for each girl to fill out (see page 35-38).
If you have any questions or concerns during this time, please do not hesitate to reach out to your supervisor.
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Group Guideline Tips
As a group, your Circle will need to come up with a set of Circle rules. These rules will help the Circle maintain its
safety elements, as well as keep the Circles confidentiality. Below are some tips for creating guidelines with the girls
taken from the Girls Circle Facilitator Manual: Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls:
1. Invite the group to discuss the importance of the guidelines. Encourage an open group discussion
and ask questions such as:
Given the purpose and reason for having this group, what type of guidelines can we create to make
this possible?
How can we create safety in the group?
What would a supportive, safe group look like?
How should we interact to create this type of environment?
How do we want to treat each other in this group?
How do we NOT want to treat each other?
What guidelines should we create to promote honesty and respect?
Flesh out the importance of the guidelines they choose. For example, if they say they want respect to
be a guideline, dont just accept it at face value. Ask, So what does respect look like? How are we acting and
what we are doing when respect is happening in the group? How are we acting if there is not respect? ()
2. Make a group poster after the group has brainstormed their own guidelines. This will get their
personal buy in to the guidelines that are chosen. When there are differences of opinion, the facilitator
can encourage the group to consider different views and needs, and to develop compromises or revised
guidelines that satisfy the group. If they miss anything the facilitator thinks should be added, present it
to the group or add it as your own. Have each girl sign her name to the poster. The facilitator can post
the guidelines for each group meeting so they are always visible.
3. Cover the Limitations to Confidentiality explain legal and ethical responsibilities to the group,
including the obligation of mandated reporting, and with regard to suicidality and threats to others
safety
4. Regular reading or stating of both the group guidelines and the confidentiality and exceptions
policy provides girls with clarity and security in knowing the facilitators obligations in case information
thats shared should meet the criteria. (59-60)
Facilitation Tips
Circles are meant to provide a safe place for the girls to come and share their experiences, their meaningful
relationships, and to learn new positive skills. For Circle to be productive, you will need to provide a safe and
trusting environment. Below are some tips for you to do just that.
1. Be prepared! Each week is a new topic. Make sure to thoroughly review the lesson and obtain necessary
materials. Some weeks will have more materials, so make sure everything is well organized.
2. Try to make a connection with each girl. Greet each girl individually as they come into the room. Check
their body language to foresee any problems that might arise in the future.
| 15
3. During the first session, have the girls create the rules for the group. This helps them to feel like they are
contributing to the Circle. They are also more likely to hold each other accountable when they create the
rules.
4. Display the rules each week just in case you need to use them as a reminder. Let the girls know that they can
add to the rules if a situation arises.
5. Remember to be flexible. Circumstances can easily change when you are working with groups. One day you
might have an activity that needs 5 girls and you only have 3 of them show up, or there might be conflict
among the girls.
6. The group needs to be a safe place, so if there is a girl that is becoming a distraction or creating problems it
needs to be addressed. If it is not, then the other girls will get the idea that they can get away with things. Be
gentle and consistent. Redirect! Shaming and negative discipline is not likely to work with these girls.
7. If there is a consistent issue with a girl (or more than one), find time to privately discuss the issue with her.
This most likely would happen after the lesson. Be open and ask what is going on, do not jump to
conclusions. Try to understand the behavior behind the action.
8. Focus on the positives and the girls strengths, and not what you dont want them to do. Example: I would
love to hear from everyone in the group. NOT: Sam, youve been talking a lot, lets hear from someone
else.
9. Always have extra components to your lesson. There will be days that the girls will be resistant to discuss
and you might find that you are moving through a lesson too quickly. Having 1-2 extra activities will ensure
you do not have a lot of extra time on your hands. This is more likely to happen in the juvenile programs
rather than the school programs.
10. The girls will test you and sometimes say rude things to you. Do not get frustrated or look shocked. They
want to see how you will react, and generally just dont think through their statements. Many of these girls
are used to being negatively disciplined. So be gracious, calm, and cheerfully move on.
11. Children crave attention, both positive and negative. Setting the tone for a positive environment will help to
avoid the girls seeking negative information.
12. Do not make promises you cannot keep. The girls will remember everything. If you do not follow through
with what you tell them, they will quickly believe you are like many adults they know, and that you cannot be
trusted.
13. The girls are very excited when they get into group. So you will have to repeat yourself many times, do not
get frustrated or yell at them!
14. Try to bring all the girls into group. Many groups have 1-3 girls that dominate amongst the girls. Be
prepared to get all girls involved.
15. Some of the topics may cause some emotional reactions. Such topics will be rape, abuse, death, etc. These
need to be addressed with a sense of closure. If the group is receptive to the conversation, it can be
16 |
discussed. If not, keep it brief and meet with the girl after the lesson. They need to feel safe so that they can
talk to you in the future.
16. Teens do not respond well to being yelled at, so instead have something to get their attention. The school
groups do tend to get louder than the juvenile groups. If things get too rowdy during group, you can ring a
bell, gently clap your hands, or simple raise your hand to get their attention.
17. Having a talking piece will ensure that everyone has the chance to talk during discussion time. This can be a
stuffed animal or a plastic microphone. This practice WILL need to be enforced. The girls do tend to
interrupt each other frequently.
18. Be careful with the journals. They are entrusting you to keep them safe, so make sure you know where you
will keep them. Always bring journals to weekly lessons. If you have to miss a week, make sure to give them
to the other facilitator so the girls do not miss that part of the experience.
19. Remember this role you have is to show the girls they can have positive relationships with caring adults.
Children want to please adults, and will live up to their expectations if we allow them to. We need to live by
example, because the girls are always watching their facilitators. You cannot tell the girls not to make fun of
themselves, and then make fun of yourself. If you do get caught doing that, be honest and admit you
sometimes still struggle and need them to help you too. They will be appreciative that you were honest.
20. Have fun! We are there to be facilitators and to provide structure, but we are also there to encourage and
help the girls. Be willing to laugh at yourself and let the girls do the same thing.
Difficult Group Dynamics

Facilitators often work intuitively and with common sense to manage group dynamics, minimize disruptions, and
maximize cohesion. However, some situations are challenging for even the most experienced facilitators (Girls
Circle Facilitator Manual, 68-70).
Some common group dynamics which may arise are:
Cliques The Negative Person

The Quiet Person The Angry Person
The Over-Talker The Person Who Doesnt Want to be There
The Person Who Goes Off Topic The Bomb-Dropper
The Distracting Person The Person with Inappropriate Body
The Reluctant Person Language
The Power Strugglerbetween participant Prejudice in the Group
and facilitator Conflict
The Know-It-All or Advice-Giver
If you are encountering any of these issues in your Circle, please consult pages 68-83 of the Girls Circle Facilitator
Manual: Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls. You can also discuss the issue with your supervisor, they will ensure
you get the help you need in order to have an awesome Circle.
| 17
What Would You Do?
As a facilitator it will be necessary for you to keep Circle running smoothly. The scenarios below are examples of
difficult group dynamics that you may encounter. How would you go about dealing with them? Write your response
on the lines following the questions.
Scenario A: Natalie doesnt share during discussions. Even when you ask her a question her response is minimal.
Her check-in is very brief and non-disclosing, I had a good day. How do you work with the Quiet Person?
Scenario B: Julie talks over the other girls and talks often. She answers every question you ask. She will sometimes
interrupt another girl, and she talks for long periods of time about herself. How do you work with the Over-Talker?
Scenario C: Your group is discussing how to manage stress, and Emily suddenly shares an intense situation about
being raped at a young age. You are taken by surprise by this revelation. How do you work with the Bomb-
Dropper?
Scenario D: Kendra dismisses everything you and others say. Her body language and statements suggest that she
doesnt want to be in the group. She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes. How do you work with the Reluctant
Person?
Scenario E: Samantha is a pessimist. She puts herself down and sometimes makes rude comments about other
girls opinions. How do you work with the Negative Person?
18 |
Journal Response Tips
As a facilitator, you will be responsible for writing responses to half of the Girls Circle participants journalsyour
co-facilitator will respond to the other half. Because of this, your responses may be limited. Below are some tips to
follow when writing your responses.
1. Narrow your response to address one or two ideas: Trying to address everything a girl writes is too time
consuming. Focus your energy on one or two main ideas she presents.
2. Build her up: Tell her you appreciate her contributions to Circle, and that she is special, and so on. You
may be the only person in the girls life who acknowledges her worth.
3. Acknowledge her feelings: If a girl tells you she is upset, sympathize with her feelings. Additionally, thank
her for sharing her thoughts.
4. Remain neutral: You may address and sympathize with her feelings, but do not take a particular position.
We are there to guide her, not to tell her what to do.
5. Address issues that arose during Circle: For example, if a girl states during discussion that she doesnt
like anything about herself and this was not addressed, address this statement in your journal response.
6. Prompt her next journal entry at the end of your response: As a facilitator you are in charge of directing
the conversation. Posing a question at the end of your response shapes the future conversation. Often
facilitators will end with one of two questions:
a. Option 1: Ask a question pertaining to the next weeks discussion topic.
b. Option 2: Ask a question to further the current conversation. If the conversation becomes serious
(i.e. personal issues, thoughts, etc.), and you feel it would be beneficial to continue the discussion, do
so. Go with your gut. Additionally, you may be the only safe person that the girl feels able to vent
to.
Remember, responding to journal entries is highly subjective, there is no one right way to respond.
| 19
Journal Scenarios
Each girl will receive a small, white journal to decorate and to answer prompts in. Towards the conclusion of the
Girls Circle meeting, facilitators will have the participating girls answer a prompt or question about the session. The
answers the girls give will be different depending upon their personalities. Below are some prompts for facilitators
to consider and some girls responses to said prompts:
Prompt Question Girls Response

Today we talked about being a girl. What did you like
I liked the videos, they were cool. I like shopping and
most about todays discussion? What do you like most
the color pink. I dont like periods. ~ Jenna
and what do you dislike most about being a girl?
I guess I liked the crafts best. This circle was less
What did you like most about today? What have you
boring. I dont know what I liked about the group in
enjoyed most about Circle in general?
general. ~ Ashton
I think what makes a healthy relationship is respect,
Today we talked about relationships. What do you
loyalty, and trust in both parts. I have a boy that I like
think a healthy relationship is? What do you look for
and I want to ask him to the dance. What should I do?
in a relationship? What did you like most about today?
~ Rachel
Tough Topics
Sometimes in journals, facilitators will have tough topics they must address. These topics may or may not have to
do with the prompt you give your Circle. Remember to listen to the girl and to respond accordingly. If a topic needs
to be reported because the child is being abused or neglected, please contact your supervisor for help or see the
section of this manual entitled Mandated Reporting Information on pages 45-56. Below are two journal answer
examples of tough topics you may come across as a facilitator:
Dear Girls Circle Facilitator,
Something has been really bothering me lately. You told me this journal is secret, so I feel I can tell you. I am bi-
sexual. Should I tell my mom? Ive told some of my friends and they think I am lying or weird. This hurts my
feelings. I want to tell my mom, but Im afraid of what she might think. She could respond like my friends. I
dont want to hide from my mom any longer. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Amy
Dear Girls Circle Facilitator,
Dont judge me when I tell you this, but three years ago, I was gang-raped by a couple of guys I knew at a party.
It was taken care of after it happened. It was my fault because I was drunk and high. A lot of times people want
to judge me, but they dont know what Ive went through. My parents were so mad at me for going to a party.
For a long time after it happened, I wanted to commit suicide, but I havent had these thoughts recently. I just
wanted you to know more about me.
Sincerely,
Jane
20 |
There are other topics that you may come across as well. Some examples are thoughts of suicide, domestic violence,
other types of violence (i.e. fights at school), sexuality, cutting, sexual abuse, conflict with family members, sexual
experiences, death of a loved one, and many more.
Facilitator Journal Entry Examples
In this section you will find examples of strong and weak facilitator journal entries. Each journal entry will have
reasons as to why it is strong or weak and even perhaps how it can be improved upon.
Weak Journal Entries Reasons

Hi Hannah, It is a very short conversation with
the girl. The prompt for the next
Im glad you have someone to talk to about that! How was Nashville? Did you guys do entry takes up more than half of the
anything fun? Facilitator entry.
The topic of friendship, which was
I agree, being a good friend is about loyalty and truthfulness. I am so glad that you have the previous weeks lesson, could
what sounds like a great best friend! have been covered in more depth,
not just two lines.
Today we talked about relationships, what are some things you feel like you have done
well in relationships? After our discussion today, is there anything you want to change
about entering or maintaining a relationship? Did our discussion change your
expectations or assumptions about relationships? If so, how?
Thanks for sharing!
Facilitator
Hi Tammy, It is very short. Also, the prompt

question takes up half of the entry.
I think those are great characteristics of being a friend. Anyone would be lucky to call you It doesnt encourage the girl to
their friend! continue thinking about the qualities
of friendship.
Today we talked a lot about relationships. Will what you learned today change how you The facilitator had a chance to
enter a new relationship? If so, how? include something personal in her
response like I think good friends
Facilitator should have your
sincerity/enthusiasm/etc.
Sara, The response is very short. Again, the

prompt takes up half of the entry.
Well I hope you had a Happy Halloween! What did you dress up as? Did you get some The entry doesnt encourage the girl
good candy? to think about the weeks lesson.
The facilitator could have shared her
Prompt: What is healthy? What is beauty? What can you do to make yourself healthier? Halloween experience in order to at
least have a conversation with the
girl.
| 21
Strong Journal Entries Reasons
Hi Karen, It reaffirms that the girl is safe in
Circle and that the facilitator will do
Thank you for sharing with me. It takes tremendous courage to share such personal things whatever it takes to make it stay that
about yourself. I appreciate how open you are. Im very sorry that you were raped. That way.
was not your fault and its understandable why you now have difficulty with others. I hope It reaffirms that the facilitator is
that Circle will help you develop more coping skills and handle your anxiety. I want to there to help.
make sure you always feel comfortable in Circle. If there is any way I can better support It encourages the girl to share with
you, please let me know. others.
It encourages the girl to feel
You are a very strong person. I believe you have many amazing qualities that we will all
confident and strong.
discover and enjoy as we share Circle together. I look forward to spending this time with
you, learning from you, and building treasured memories with you. I already feel fortunate It praises the girl and her qualities.
to have met you.
Talk to you soon,
Facilitator
Hi Penny, It answers the girls question from

her previous entry, so the girl and
You asked me what I like about being a girl Id have to say wearing dresses and doing facilitator can have a conversation
my hair! First of all, I want to thank you for being an active participator during Circle. I with each other.
think the more girls that open up and contribute, there is a higher likelihood that the more It lets the girl know that her
quiet girls will start feeling comfortable to join in. I am really sorry to hear about what you contributions to Circle are
have gone through. Just always remember life can throw crazy things at you but you will appreciated.
get stronger. You cant change the past, but you can change the future. I found this quote, It shows, with the quote, that the
maybe you will like it as well Let your past make you BETTER, not BITTER. facilitator has put a lot of time and
effort into her response.
Question What do you think makes a friend? In what circumstances would you tell your
It introduces the next topic that
friend the truth/not tell them the truth?
Circle will be exploring in the
prompt question.
Facilitator
Chloe, It has the facilitator and girl

connecting on a personal level in
So you wanted to know what can make me angry I dont get angry often, more annoyed. order to have a good conversation.
My car had to get fixed a couple of weeks ago, which made my car-less for a while. It was It encourages the girl to think about
out of my control unfortunately. her actions and perhaps even to
think about changing them.
When you are so honest with your friends, how do you think that makes them feel? Is It praises the girl on her honesty.
there a way you can say things nicely without hurting them? Or do they not care? I think
The facilitator could have talked less
that it is great that you are honest, it is a good quality to have.
about herself, and instead
encouraged the girl to think about
On my break, I watched a lot of Netflix. I had a lot of homework so I prioritized between
the lesson, but since the girl asked in
relaxing and getting stuff done! I got a new flannel shirt (Im wearing it.).
her entry and wanted to know what
the facilitator was going to do over
Today we talked a lot about being a girl. What do you like about being a girl? What do you
her break, it is alright.
dislike?
Facilitator
22 |
Welcome Letter
In order to introduce your girls into the Circle, you will be required to write Welcome Letters for half of the
groupyour co-Facilitator will write Welcome Letters for the other half. Remember, whoever you write your letters
to will also be who you respond to in the girls journals.
Below is an example of a Facilitators Welcome Letter:
Hello!
Im so glad that you are a part of this group. I know I dont know you yet, but I cant wait to
get to know you better over the next few weeks. I know you will be a special part of this Circle.
It can be kind of scary coming into a new group of girls. My hope is that you will find our
group a safe and comfortable place to share your thoughts and feelings. We are going to learn a
lot and have fun doing it!
So you can know me better, here are 3 things about me!
1. [Insert fact about self]

I look forward to meeting you!
[Insert name of facilitator]
| 23
Farewell Letter
When Girls Circle is over, you will need to write a Farewell Letter to each of the girls you have been corresponding
with. This letter will go in their new journals. Below is an example of a Farewell Letter:
Dear ____________,
It was once said that Time flies when you are having fun! This is so true, as it feels like we just
embarked on Girls Circle last weekit doesnt feel like its time to wrap up!!! I have had so much fun
working with you girls. I hope you have had fun too!!!
You have been awesome! Thanks so much for all of your contributionsyou made Circle successful! I
always looked forward to discussion. Your insight and comments were so great!
I hope you have had many take-away moments from Circle, including the fact that you are the best and
you deserve the best, including the respect and love of those in your life. What can I say, youre a
remarkable girl. You are __________________, ___________________, and _______________.
Im so happy that I was able to be a part of this Circle! Best wishes!
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind dont matter and those who matter dont
mind.
Sincerely,
[Insert name of facilitator]
24 |
Just Because Poem Just Because
In order to get to know the girls, you will have them
fill out the Just Because Poem (see right). This Just because I am a Girl,
poem is designed to empower the girls. Remember to I am not __________________________________________
I am not __________________________________________
make time in your Circle itinerary for the girls to write I am not __________________________________________
their own poem. Some examples of finished Just I am ____________________________________________ .
Because Poems can be seen below.
Just because I am _____________________________________
It may also be fun for you to fill out your own Just Doesnt mean I am __________________________________
Doesnt mean I am __________________________________
Because Poem and share it with the girls. Doesnt mean I am __________________________________
I am_____________________________________________ .
Just because I am ______________________________________

I dont ____________________________________________
I dont ____________________________________________
I dont ____________________________________________
I am_____________________________________________ .
Just because I am a Girl,

I am not __________________________________________
I am not __________________________________________
I am not __________________________________________
I am______________________________________________
I am ME.
Just Because Poem Examples
Just because I am a Girl, Just because I am a Girl,

I am not shy
I am not incapable
I am not a toy
I am not unstoppable.
I am not scared
I am spontaneous.
Just because I am not an athlete,
Just because I am spontaneous, Doesnt mean I wont compete
Doesnt mean I am wild Doesnt mean I am anything less
Doesnt mean I am stupid Doesnt mean Im some lost mess.
Doesnt mean I am crazy
I am free.
Just because I have a mess of curls
Just because I am free, Doesnt mean I enjoy to judge other girls
I dont do as I please I dont like to run my mouth nonstop
I dont wander about Bad subjects I choose to drop
I dont ignore others
I am nice. Just because I am a Girl,
I am not afraid to get dirty
Just because I am nice,
I am not some girl thats really girly
I am not dumb
I am not girly I am the best I can be
I am not sassy All I am really is ME.
I am a work of art.
I am ME. -Hallie (10th grade)
-Karen (6th grade)
| 25
Ideas for Icebreakers and Games
Icebreakers and games are a great way for facilitators and the girls to get to know each other. They can also be really
fun. Below are some tips to remember during the icebreakers and games:
Be enthusiastic! The girls will not be excited if you arent.

The last thing you want to do is cause embarrassment. Try not to single out the girls. Take volunteers before
assigning certain roles during games and icebreakers.
If something is not working, move on to the next activity. Have several icebreakers ready just in case one
falls flat, which is entirely possible.
2 Truths and a Lie

Each girl writes two true statements and one false statement about herself on a notecard. One by one, the girls read
aloud their statements and the other girls must guess which item is the lie. This is a great way to get to know some
fun facts about each other.
My Name Is
One by one, each girl will state her name and attach an adjective starting with the same letter as her first name that
describes her. Some examples are Jolly Jane, Magnificent Megan, or Rad Rachel. One girl will begin the process.
After she states her adjective and name, the girl to her right must restate that name, along with her own. This
process continues around the circle. The last girl must restate all of the other names. This is a great game for the
first session, as it helps with learning names!
Counting to 20
The girls must count from 1 to 20 according to the following rules:
Only one girl can speak at a time. If two speak at the same time, counting starts from the beginning.
Counting cannot be in order of the way they sit in a circle. Numbers must be in chronological order, but
who says them must be random.
No pre-planning or advance discussion about order. No hand gestures. Each girl must say one number. If
gestures or discussion occurs, counting starts from the beginning.
This is a funny game. Girls will laugh at their struggles, but dont give up! It can be done!
Data Processing
The girls process data by lining up according to what you ask. For added difficulty, you can ban them from talking
during the process, thus forcing them to gesture to each other. Some examples include asking the girls to line up in
alphabetical order by first name, by shoe size (small to large), by their birthdays (January to December), by length of
their hair (shortest to longest).
Honey, I Love You, But I Just Cant Smile

The ultimate goal of this game is not to laugh. Choose one girl to be it (Girl 1). Girl 1 stands in the middle of the
circle and must choose another girl (Girl 2) who she will attempt to make laugh. Girl 1 must say to Girl 2, Honey, I
love you. Will you please, please smile? She can do any behaviors that she thinks will make Girl 2 laugh (i.e. singing
to her, holding her hand, kneeling before her, etc.). Girl 2 has to say, Honey, I love you, but I just cant smile,
without laughing or smiling at all. Girl 1 gets up to three chances to repeat the line on Girl 2, and Girl 2 must
respond each time, before Girl 1 must move on to select another girl from the circle. When Girl 1 finally gets
someone to laugh or smile, the laugher becomes the new it.
26 |
Eliminate
Everyone stands in a circle with their eyes closed and their hands behind their backs. The facilitator walks around
the circle and taps one girl on the hand. That girl becomes it. Now everyone can open their eyes and hold hands.
The girl who is it quietly squeezes the hand of the girl to the right or left as many times as she wants. The
squeezed girl passes the squeezes to the next girl, but she squeezes one fewer time than she was (i.e. if it passes
5 squeezes, the next person passes 4 squeezes, and so on). The girl who gets one squeeze announces it and guesses
who it was. If she guesses wrong, she is out. If she guesses correctly, it is out.
Psychiatrist
Select one girl to become the psychiatrist. She leaves the room while the rest of you decide on a certain condition
from which you all suffer (i.e. you all think you are cats, you all believe that the room is filling with water, you can
only speak to the person next to you). Once the psychiatrist re-enters the room, she must diagnose what the
condition is. She goes around the circle asking each girl a question about the condition. The girls in the circle answer
according to the condition. The psychiatrist can voice her guess at any time. This is a game the girls tend to love
especially younger girls. They like to act silly.
Would You Rather?

Place a line of tape down the middle of the room. Ask the girls to straddle the tape. When asked Would you
rather? they have to move to the left or right as indicated by the facilitator. Questions may range from silly trivia
to more serious content. Here are some ideas:
Would you rather?

Visit the doctor or the dentist?
Eat broccoli or carrots?
Watch TV or listen to music?
Own a lizard or a snake?
Have a beach vacation or a mountain vacation?
Be an apple or a banana?
Be able to turn invisible or be able to read minds?
Be hairy all over or completely bald?
Be the most popular person or the smartest person you know?
Go without television or fast food for the rest of your life?
Always be cold or always be hot?
Not hear or not see?
Eliminate hunger and disease or be able to bring lasting world peace?
See the future or change the past?
Wrestle a lion or fight a shark?
| 27
PAUSE
PAUSE is a relaxation and reflection technique. The following information on PAUSE is taken from the NCCD
Center for Girls and Young Womens SAVVY Sister: Model Programming manual:
By teaching girls PAUSE, we can begin to help girls discover their internal wisdom and power. It is this
wisdom and power that she can take with her, no matter where she goes. It is always present and abundant
and there to serve her in the highest and best way. ()
Introduce the PAUSE concept by having the girls listen to music. Ask girls to define how music is created.
Expect girls to share comments like a person sings, plays musical instruments, etc. After a brief sharing of
what is needed to create music, introduce the concept of pauses. Share that the most important element
of music is the pause between the notes. It is the pause between the notes that makes the music. If there
were no pauses, there would be no musiconly noise. This is much like our lives. If we do not take the
time to pause our life becomes filled with noise. ()
It is in the safe space of pausing that girls can tap into their inner wisdom and listen for guidance and
direction. It is in the space of pausing, that we can teach and model for girls the power of silence, of
reflection, being deliberate in how we ready ourselves for learning, growth, and change. PAUSE is the
beginning of honoring and listening to ones inner wisdom and knowledge.
Pause and reflect: Give yourself 30-60 seconds of silence. In this space of silence, allow yourself the gift of
simply being still and letting go of the pressures of the moment. In this space, you simply observe your
thoughts, emotions, mind talk. How does your body feel? Are there places that are uncomfortable? Do you
feel anxious? Happy? Simply observe. You do not have to do anything other than be present in this moment.
Observe your breathing. Observe your thoughts. Observe your emotions. Simply observe as if you are
watching a movie. Be aware and honor how you are feeling right now.
Affirm your power and wisdom: In the silent space, acknowledge your individual power and wisdom. Say to
yourself, I am wise and powerful!
Use silence for observing your thoughts and emotions: Observe your thoughts and emotions without
attempting to fix or change them. Pay attention to what you are thinking about. Watch the thoughts as if
you are watching a movie. As you are observing what you are thinking, take note of how you are feeling.
Simply acknowledge your thoughts and feelings.
Set your intention: As you begin this session, think about the purpose for doing this lesson. Why is it
meaningful to you? What is your goal? What is your intention? An example of an intention is My intention is
to be kind to myself. An intention is very personal and can be whatever you want or need at this time. You
can change your intention as often as you need or want to change it.
Explore and write reflections in [your journal] at the end of the session using these reflective practice
questions:
What do I know about?
What do I need to know about?
How will I use what I know and what I learn each day? (SAVVY Sister)
28 |
Curriculum Resources
In this section, you will find materials necessary for running a Circle. Included are a Weekly Report sample and the
Beginning and Ending Surveys each girl will need to fill out during their respective Circle times.
Weekly Report Sample

As a facilitator you will need to fill out a Weekly Report to discuss your experience and progress with the girls. This
includes having an attendance sheet for each Circle. Below is an example of a Weekly Report:
School Name Here

Tuesdays 8:00-8:50
Week 1 Report
Facilitator A and Facilitator B
Names 2/ /14 2/ /14 2/ /14 3/ /14 3/ /14 3/ /14 3/ /14 4/ /14 4/ /14
1. Jenny
X
Smith
2. Susie
X
Q.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Any issues or concerns from Circle this week?
What stood out the most to you during this Circle? (Any positive or negative experiences.)
Is there anything you need from me?
Girls Circle Beginning and Ending Surveys

Before Circle begins, the girls will need to fill out a survey. The Beginning Survey is located on pages 31-34. On
pages 35-38, you will find the Girls Circle Ending Survey. You will need to have every girl participating in Circle fill
this out before your Circle stops meeting.
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30 |
Girls Circle
Beginning Survey
Page 1
Name: Age:
Ethnic Identity: Native African

White Asian Latino/-a Other ____________
(Circle all that apply) American American
Heterosexual/
Sexual Identity: Lesbian/Gay Bisexual Unsure
Straight
Gender: Female Transgender Genderqueer Unsure
Number of Children: Zero Currently Pregnant 1 2 3 4+
Guardian(s): Other Foster Group

Mother Father Other _______________
(Circle all that apply) Family Parent Home
Number of Siblings: Zero 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10+
Have you ever been removed from

your home by a social worker or YES NO NOT SURE
police officer for a family reason?
Have you ever been held in a foster
YES NO NOT SURE
home or a group home?
Have you ever been held in juvenile
detention, residential treatment, or YES NO NOT SURE
another secure facility?
Have you ever ran away from
YES NO NOT SURE
home?
What is your T-shirt size? XS S M L XL XXL
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Girls Circle
Beginning Survey
Page 2
Please circle the response below that best describes how often the following statements about you are true.
I feel good about my relationships with:
Friends Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Teachers Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Parents Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Family Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Dating
Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Partners
When Im upset, I hurt myself by:
Cutting, hitting, or
harming my body
Thinking about
suicide
Drinking, using drugs,

and/or abusing Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
medication
Other (please explain)
32 |
Girls Circle
Beginning Survey
Page 3
Please tell us how much you agree with the following statements about yourself.
Strongly Not Strongly

Disagree Agree
Disagree Sure Agree
I feel school is important.
I feel I have useful skills to help me in unsafe

situations.
My personal safety is important to me.
I feel happy about being a girl.
I feel good about my body.
I will do things I like even if its not what other people

think girls should do.
I feel safe communicating with others about my
thoughts, feelings, experiences, and needs.
I know how to communicate what I want, feel, need,
and think.
Communicating in a healthy and positive way is
important to me.
I feel like I am a good listener.
My relationships are important to me.
I feel like I have a good relationship with my family.
My family supports me.
I know the difference between healthy and unhealthy

relationships.
I am confident that I have the skills for how to have
healthy relationships with others.
I know and use positive ways to handle conflict with
others.
There are healthy and safe ways to express emotions
and feelings.
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Girls Circle
Beginning Survey
Page 4
What I most hope to accomplish in Girls Circle is (Please check any that apply):
Make friends Learn how to handle Listen when other girls

Learn something new conflict better talk
Feel more supported Share about myself Trust others
Get along better with Have fun Apply what Ive learned
my family Feel better about myself
Other (please explain):
Please tell us how these statements are true for you.
Hardly Moderately Exactly

Not True
True True True
I can always manage to solve difficult problems if I try
hard enough.
If someone disagrees with me, I can find a way to
work out the problem.
It is easy for me to stick to my plans and accomplish
my goals.
When an unexpected thing happens, I am confident
that I can deal with it successfully.
I can find ways to handle new situations.
I can solve most of my problems if I put in the

necessary effort.
When something stressful happens, I can stay calm
and figure out how to deal with it.
When I have a problem, I can usually find several
solutions.
If I am in trouble, I can usually think of a solution.
I can usually handle whatever comes my way.
34 |
Girls Circle
Ending Survey
Page 1
Name:
Please circle the response below that best describes how often the following statements about you are true.
I feel good about my relationships with:
Friends Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Teachers Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Parents Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Family Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Dating
Partners
When Im upset, I hurt myself by:
Cutting, hitting, or
harming my body
Thinking about suicide Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
Drinking, using drugs,

and/or abusing Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
medication
Other (please explain) Never Rarely Sometimes Often Always
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Girls Circle
Ending Survey
Page 2
Strongly Strongly
Disagree Not Sure Agree
Disagree Agree
I felt safe in Girls Circle.
I am happy I came to Girls Circle.
I could express my feelings in Girls Circle.
Hardly Moderately Exactly

Not True
True True True
I can always manage to solve difficult problems if I try
hard enough.
If someone disagrees with me, I can find a way to work
out the problem.
It is easy for me to stick to my plans and accomplish
my goals.
When an unexpected thing happens, I am confident
that I can deal with it successfully.
I can find ways to handle new situations.
I can solve most of my problems if I put in the

necessary effort.
When something stressful happens, I can stay calm and
figure out how to deal with it.
When I have a problem, I can usually find several
solutions.
If I am in trouble, I can usually think of a solution.
I can usually handle whatever comes my way.
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Girls Circle
Ending Survey
Page 3
Was there anything we didnt talk about in Girls Circle that you wish we had talked about?
In what ways, if any, do you feel youve changed after being part of Girls Circle?
[Girls Name], before we began Girls Circle, you identified the following as your goals for Girls Circle.
[List her goals from Beginning Survey]
In what ways, if any, have you accomplished these goals while in Girls Circle?
What did we do in Girls Circle that helped you meet these goals?
What could we have done differently to help you better meet your goals?
Is there anything we havent asked you that you would like to share with us about your experience with Girls
Circle?
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Girls Circle
Ending Survey
Page 4
Strongly Not Strongly

Disagree Agree
Disagree Sure Agree
I feel school is important.
I feel I have useful skills to help me in unsafe

situations.
My personal safety is important to me.
I feel happy about being a girl.
I feel good about my body.
I will do things I like even if its not what other people

think girls should do.
I feel safe communicating with others about my
thoughts, feelings, experiences, and needs.
I know how to communicate what I want, feel, need,
and think.
Communicating in a healthy and positive way is
important to me.
I feel like I am a good listener.
My relationships are important to me.
I feel like I have a good relationship with my family.
My family supports me.
I know the difference between healthy and unhealthy

relationships.
I am confident that I have the skills for how to have
healthy relationships with others.
I know and use positive ways to handle conflict with
others.
There are healthy and safe ways to express emotions
and feelings.
38 |
Juvenile Circle Information
In this section, you will find materials for the Juvenile Circles. These materials include a to-do list and information
about having a meeting with the parents of the child and the steps you will need to complete during that time,
including filling out forms. A less detailed version of this to-do list is available in Appendix B (see page 65).
Juvenile Circle Facilitator To-Do List

Before Juvenile Circle begins, you will need to make sure to complete certain steps. These steps are listed below:

Contact co-facilitator. You will receive your assignment by email.
Coordinate with co-facilitator in order to reach out to each family whose girl has been assigned to your
Circle. Set up a meeting with each family at their home or a place they are comfortable with. Lead facilitators
will receive a packet with each girls information.
During the meeting have the girl and her guardians fill out the Pledge to Participate and Emergency
Contact/Authorization to Pick Up forms (see pages 43-44). Also have the girl fill out the Beginning Survey
(see pages 31-34). Use the Meet and Greet Checklist located in your training manual to make sure you are
getting everything done that you need to (see pages 41-42). Turn all paperwork in, including the survey, to
your supervisor when you are able. Facilitators will get a copy of each Emergency Contact form.
Write a Welcome Letter in each of the girls journals. Remember to use the small white journals. Share this
task with your co-facilitator (see page 23 for an example Welcome Letter).

Parents will need to come inside the building on the first night in order to participate in Parent Orientation.
This is usually led by a CDR staff member.
Have the girls create a set of guidelines for Circle and write them on a poster board.
Facilitators should respond to the same girls after each Circle.
For Each Circle

Make sure to respond to each girls journal prior to every Circle. It is recommended you write your
responses in some sort of word document and then hand-write your response in the journal. Give yourself
enough time to respond properly to each girl. Rushed entries may not end up being as meaningful. Try to
make each entry fill up a page in the journal (see pages 19-22 for more information about journals).
Enjoy your time with the girls!
Turn out the lights and lock the doors after everyone leaves.
Complete Weekly Report (see page 29) and send it to your supervisor. Only one Report is needed per Circle.
Preparation for Graduation Night

Begin preparation for Graduation Night around Week 7. Graduation is during Week 9.
Remind the girls about their Graduation on Week 7. Let them know they are allowed to invite others to
attend and ask that they fill out the Invite List form for you by the next Circle (see Appendix F for the
Invite List on page 103). This will help us prepare for food during Graduation. Report this number to your
supervisor as soon as possible after Week 8.
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It is not a requirement, but a good and fun idea is to take a picture of the group as a keepsake to give the
girls at graduation. If you send this picture to your supervisor, they will get you the 4x6 prints for each of
the girls and the facilitators.
For Final Circle

Notify your supervisor at least a week in advance of your Circle Graduate date. Make sure to provide her the
first and last names as well as T-shirt sizes of each of the girls in your Circle. Her T-shirt size should have
been filled out in the Beginning Survey so we will probably have this information within the first couple of
weeks, but please confirm with your supervisor at this time. She will need an estimated number of guests
that will attend graduation. She will provide certificates, T-shirts, pizza, drinks, and cupcakes for you.
Respond to the girls in a new, nicer journal that the Center will provide for you. Also, include a Farewell
Letter for each of the girls (see page 24 for an example Farewell Letter). Turn the small white journal in to
your supervisor.
Bring Ending Surveys for each of the girls to fill out (see pages 35-38).
Arrive early to decorate.
At the beginning of the night, someone will come in to talk to the families about the opportunity to
participate in a Family Group Conference. They will be informed that someone from the CDR will be
reaching out to them within the week to see if they are interested. Afterwards, parents and girls will be
divided into two groups to conduct focus groups about their experiences during Circle. Facilitators may be
asked to help lead one of the focus groups. If you are uncomfortable with this, do not be afraid to say so.
This part will take about 30 minutes.
Eat and enjoy the company! Present the girls with their certificates and gifts. You may also prepare
something to say about each girl if you would like.
If you have any questions or concerns during this time, please do not hesitate to reach out to your supervisor. You
may call or email your supervisor at any time.
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Meet and Greet Checklist
Prior to your Circle, you will need to contact each of the girls families and set up a Meet & Greet appointment.
Both the girl and a parent/guardian should be present. This is to ease some anxiety for both you and the girl, as well
as for you to start making that close connection with each other. After you set up a time and location for the Meet
& Greet (many Meet & Greets happen in the girls home, but occasionally you may be asked to meet at a neutral
location). A less detailed version of this to-do list is available in Appendix C (see page 67). Below are some things
youll want to talk about with the girl and her family:
Introduction
Introduce yourself and thank the family for meeting with you.
Let the family know that you are a Circle facilitator who works/volunteers with the CDRs Network for
Girls program.
Explain that the purpose of this meeting is to meet, explain the Circle process, and hopefully to ease any
anxiety she may feel about participating.
Explaining the Circle Process

Ask the girl what she has heard about Circle or what she expects Circle to be like.
Explain Circle:
o Each week has a different theme.
o The themes will cover lots of topics about being a girl: friendships, relationships, dating, conflict,
substance abuse, stress, health and beauty, etc.
o We will talk a lot! You will get to hear from other girls your age.
o We will also do crafts and activities, as well as some games.
o Explain about incentives and ask the girl what kinds of things she likes (i.e. nail polish, gum, etc.).
o The facilitator will be there each week to guide the process, but you will find that most of the talking
will be from the girls. That is the cool part about Circle.
o During the 9th week we will have a graduation celebration.
o Explain to the parents/guardians that we would like them to stay on the first night for a parent
orientation during which we will explain Circle in greater depth and go over important safety
procedures.
The Pledge to Participate

Review the Pledge to Participate with the girl and her family (see page 43 for the Pledge to Participate form).
Explain that it is very important that she commit to Circle.
o Explain that you create each weeks lessons specifically for the girls, and it doesnt work as well
when girls are absent.
o Let them know that if something does come up, they need to call ahead of time.
o Explain that missing Circle sessions may result in her not graduating from Circle.
Allow both the parent/guardian and girl to read and sign the Pledge to Participate form.
The Beginning Survey

Let the girl know that the purpose of the survey is to get to know her a little better and to help make the
program beneficial for her (see pages 31-34 for the Beginning Survey).
Be sure she understands that only you and your supervisor will see her survey.
Let her know that she can skip over any questions she doesnt feel comfortable answering.
Let her know that she can move to a more private area if she prefers.
While the girl is completing her survey, begin going over the Emergency Contact form with the
parents/guardian.
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The Emergency Contact/Authorization to Pick Up Form
Explain the form to the parent/guardian and allow him/her to read and fill it out (see page 44 for the
Emergency Contact/Authorization to Pick Up form).
Explain that they need to contact you if they wish to add anyone to the form as an authorized pick-up
person.
Closing
Ask if anyone has any questions.
Review the time, date, and location for Circle.
Thank them for their time and be sure to let the girl know that you are excited about her participation!
42 |
Pledge to Participate Form
As you begin Girls Circle it is important to us that you understand that Girls Circle is a carefully designed process
committed to helping girls grow, learn, and express themselves. Everyone who works with the Network for Girls
program is dedicated to you and your well-being, but in order for us to provide you with an effective program, we
rely on you to make the following commitments before beginning Girls Circle:
I make a commitment to attend Girls Circle each week.
I make a commitment to complete Girls Circle even if my probation period ends before Girls Circle ends (if
applicable).
I make a commitment to notify the Center for Dispute Resolution or my Girls Circle facilitator in advance if
I need to miss a Girls Circle session for any reason.
If any challenge is preventing me from attending Girls Circle (including transportation, feeling anxious or
uncomfortable, or a prior commitment) I commit to talking with my Girls Circle facilitator about it.
I understand that my attendance to Girls Circle is reported on a weekly basis to my probation officer or
deputy juvenile officer (if applicable) and that missing Girls Circle sessions may result in me not graduating
from Girls Circle.
Girls Circle exists to help and support us. But we cannot succeed if we dont have your commitment to willingly
participate in this process. THANK YOU for signing this pledge and committing to our program! Welcome to
Girls Circle!
Youths Signature Date
Parent/Guardians Signature Date
| 43
Emergency Contact/Authorization to Pick Up Form
As part of our safety procedures for Circle, we ask that all parents and guardians provide us with an emergency
contact for their daughter as well as a list of people authorized to drop her off and pick her up from Circle. Please
note that this information will be shared with all Circle facilitators and staff members. If you need to remove or add
anyone from your authorized list during the course of Circle, please notify us by calling (417) 836-8831. Thank you!
My Daughters Name:
My Name and Phone Number:
Emergency Contact
If an emergency should occur during Circle and we are unable to reach you, please provide us with at least one
additional emergency contact.
Name Relationship to Youth Phone Number
Authorized Drivers
The following people are authorized to drop off and pick up my daughter from Circle:
Name Relationship to Youth Phone Number
Please check this box if your daughter will be driving herself to and from Circle.
Parent/Guardians Signature Date
44 |
Mandated Reporting Information
As individuals who work with children, it will be your responsibility to make sure these girls are not being abused or
neglected. The following sections will provide you with information on what to do should the girls need assistance
in this regard.
Mandated Reporting for Missouri

In this section, you will find information on Missouris definition of a mandated reporter, as well as Missouris
definition of abuse and neglect. Information about when and how to make a report and your liability as a reporter is
also provided. Please take this information seriously and know that your supervisor will help you in whatever way
they can should an issue regarding child abuse come up during your Circle.
Missouris 24-Hour Child Abuse Hotline

The state of Missouri has a 24-hour child abuse hotline number. That number is (800) 392-3738.
Who is a Mandated Reporter?

Missouri Statute 210.115
o Physician, medical examiner, coroner, dentist, chiropractor, optometrist, podiatrist, resident, intern,
nurse, hospital or clinic personnel engaged in the examination, care, treatment or research of
persons, or any other health practitioner;
o Psychologist, mental health professional, social worker, day care center worker, or other child care
worker;
o Juvenile officer, probation or parole officer, jail or detention center personnel;
o Teacher, principal or other school official;
o Minister as defined by statute:
[A]ny person while practicing as a minister of the gospel, clergyperson, priest, rabbi,
Christian Science practitioner, or other person serving in a similar capacity for any religious
organization who is responsible for or who has supervisory authority over one who is
responsible for the care, custody, and control of a child or has access to a child
o Peace officer, or law enforcement official; OR
o ANY OTHER PERSON with the RESPONSIBILITY for the care of CHILDREN.
When Must a Report be Made?

Missouri Statute 210.115
o All mandatory reporters shall, upon finding reasonable cause, directly and immediately report
suspected child abuse or neglect.
o Reporting requirements are individual, and no supervisor or administrator may impede or inhibit
any reporting.
o Each employer shall ensure that the employee has unrestricted access to technology to make an
immediate report and is temporarily relieved of other work duties for such time as is
required to many any report.
o No internal investigation shall be initiated until such a report has been made.
What is Abuse?
Missouri Statute 210.110(1):
o ABUSE: any physical injury, sexual abuse, or emotional abuse inflicted on a child other than by
accidental means by those responsible for the childs care, custody and control, EXCEPT:
| 45
Discipline including spanking, administered in a reasonable manner, shall not be construed
to be abuse.
o Abuse is not limited to abuse inflicted on a person responsible for the childs care, custody and
control, but shall also include abuse inflicted by any other person.
What is Neglect?
Missouri Statute 210.110(9):
o NEGLECT: failure to provide, by those responsible for the care, custody, and control of the
child, the proper or necessary support, education as required by law, nutrition or medical, surgical,
or any other care necessary for the childs wellbeing.
What Information Should I Report?

The names and addresses of the child and his parents or other persons responsible for his care, if known also
include:
The childs age, sex, and race;
The nature and extent of the childs injuries, abuse, or neglect, including any evidence of previous injuries,
abuse or neglect to child or his/her siblings;
The name, age, and address of the person responsible for his injuries, abuse, or neglect.
What Liability Do I Have as a Mandated Reporter?

Missouri Statute 210.135:
o In the making of a report mandated reporters shall have immunity from any liability, civil or
criminal.
o Immunity lost only in cases of intentional false reports, bad faith, or ill intent.
o Criminal liability for a false report only occurs when the false report is made intentionally (Missouri
Statute 210.165).
What if I Dont Report?

Missouri Statute 210.165:
Violation of the Mandatory Reporting Statute is a Class A Misdemeanor:
o Up to one year in the County Jail; and
o Up to a $1,000 fine.
46 |
Abuse Information
In this section you will find resources for detecting abuse, as well as information on how to go about reporting it.
The following information and forms are taken from the Springfield Public Schools: Mandated Reporter Guidelines 2014-
15.
Identifying Abused Children

Abuse cannot be identified by markers such as race, ethnicity, gender, or socio-economic class.All children are
potential victims because of their vulnerable, powerless position in our culture. Children who are abused often do
share common behaviors.Any behavior alone can be a natural, normal response for a child.
PHYSICAL ABUSE
PARENTAL
PHYSICAL SIGNS CHILDS BEHAVIOR
CHARACTERISTICS
Extremes in Behavior
Unexplained Bruises/Marks Very aggressive Conceals the Childs Injuries
On several different areas Very withdrawn Gives explanations which
In clusters or unusual patterns Submissive or overly dont fly
In various stages of healing compliant Dresses child to cover injury
In the shape of an instrument Hyperactive Keeps child home
Depressed
Unexplained Burns Easily Frightened Lack of Concern
In a recognizable shape (rope, Of parents, adults Minimizes the childs injury
cigarette, etc.) Of physical contact Does not seek medical
Caused by immersion or in a Of going home attention when obviously
splash pattern needed
Unexplained lacerations or abrasions Destructive to self or others
To mouth, lips, gums Craves affection Blames others or third parties
To genitals Indiscriminate attachment to
On the back of arms, legs, strangers
torso, or sides of body Relates poorly to peers Describes the child as bad or evil
Unexplained skeletal injuries Child Reports-
Fractures of skull/face Fear of parent
Multiple injuries Believes in severe discipline
Injuries from parent
Stiff, swollen joints And/or inappropriate
Unbelievable explanation for discipline for the childs
Bald spots on head injuries developmental age
Missing teeth from injury
Human bite marks Poor Self-concept
Learning Problems
School absence associated with Poor academic performance Abuses alcohol/drugs
appearance of injury Short attention span Emotionally immature
Language delays
Clothing inappropriate for weather Delinquency or Runaway Maltreated as a child
| 47
SEXUAL ABUSE
PARENTAL
CHARACTERISTICS
Possessive and jealous of the victim
Denies the child normal social
contact
Difficult for child to walk Sudden drop in school performance
Accuses the child of sexual
promiscuity and seductiveness
Poor peer relations

Torn, stained, or bloody underwear Is abnormally attentive to the victim
Poor self esteem
Injury to genital area
Itching, pain, swelling Unwillingness to change clothing for
Bruises/bleeding gym class Low self-esteem
Frequent urinary infections
Vaginal//penile discharge Runaway/Delinquency Poor impulse control
Poor sphincter control
Sexual Knowledge beyond age History of past victimization
Venereal disease
Displays adult knowledge of sex Abuses alcohol/drugs
Extremes:
Pregnancy
Sexually aggressive Believes child enjoys sexual contact
Psychosomatic illnesses
States that he/she has been abused Withdrawn and fearful of certain Believes contact expresses family love
gender
EMOTIONAL MALTREATMENT
PARENTAL
CHARACTERISTICS
Infantile behavior
Thumb sucking Unrealistic expectation of the child
Learning Problems
Baby talk Refers to child as bad, evil
Developmental lags Belittles, rejects, ignores, the child

Failure to thrive in infancy
Physical, emotional, intellectual Low self esteem
Poor self esteem
Threatens the child with severe
Destructive to self/others
punishment and/or abandonment
Suicidal
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PHYSICAL NEGLECT
PARENTAL
CHARACTERISTICS
Poor growth pattern
Developmental Lags Apathetic/Passive
Emaciated
Physical, emotional, intellectual Depressed
Distended stomach
Extremes in behavior Unconcerned with child
Consistent Hunger
Aggressive/withdrawn Not bothered by childs lack of
Displays signs of basic necessities nor by childs
Assumes adult responsibilities
malnourishment behavior due to his/her
Submissive/overly compliant negligence
Very poor hygiene
Socially isolated
Chronic lice Infantile Behavior
Few supports
Chronic body odor
Unattended physical problems or Depressed and/or apathetic
Abuses alcohol/drugs
medical needs
Lack of immunization States no one cares
Low self-esteem
Gross dental problems Describes self in negative terms
Needs glasses/hearing aids Maltreated as a child
Unsafe living conditions
Chaotic home life,
Constant lack of supervision Seeks undue attention/affection overcrowding
Especially in dangerous Hypochondria Drugs/poisons within reach of
activities or circumstances Chronic Somatic complaints child
Garbage, excrement in living
areas
| 49
Handling a Disclosure
Do find a private place where the child is comfortable (counselors office, nurses office or principals
office)
Do let the child pick who they talk to
Do sit next to the child, not across a desk
Do make the child feel safe
Do use the childs vocabulary
Do reassure the child it is good/ok to tell
Do reassure the child that it is not his/her fault
Do hotline immediately
Do remember that your role is not to investigate
Remember the duty of the mandated reporter is to report suspected abuse/neglect immediately so that an
investigation can be conducted by a MULTI DISCIPLINARY TEAM
Do listen to the child, dont probe
Do make note of quotes the child used in the disclosure in the childs words
Do NOT interrogate/interview the child
Do NOT make the child repeat the disclosure to others or gang up on the child
Do NOT condemn the alleged perpetrator
Do NOT make any promises you cant keep
Why Children Dont Tell Us They Have Been Abused
They are afraid they wont be believed.
They are afraid of getting into trouble themselves.They feel it is their fault and/or they caused the abuse to
occur.
They may fear threats made by the offender (i.e. break-up of the family, Dad might go to jail, fear of
rejection by offender and/or family, fear of retaliation).
They try to protect the offender, may love the offender, but dont like the abuse.
Children may not know how to tell. They may not know correct words or may describe the situation in
vague terms.
Children may not know the sexual activity is wrong or even that it is something anyone would want to know
about.
Some children fear peer reaction: being singled out, laughed at or losing popularity.
If it was a sexual abuse involving an adult and child of the same gender, they might fear being labeled a
homosexual.
Some older children are embarrassed to discuss sexual issues and intimate details, especially with people in
authority.
Some children dont know whom to tell.
Children may not feel there was an appropriate time or opportunity to tell.
They dont want to be labeled a tattletale.
They have been told that nice girls/boys dont use those words that refer to body parts or sexual
behavior.
Why Do Children Finally Tell Someone They Are Being Sexually
Abused?
The molestation escalates in frequency or type of behavior and alarms the child.
50 |
The child receives some sexual abuse prevention information and realizes that what has happened to
him/her should be reported.
If the offender had told the child to keep the sexual abuse a secret, sometimes the child may brag or want to
share the secret with a friend, who then reports it.
The victims younger brother or sister is now at the age when the victim was first sexually abused, and the
victim does not want him/her to be abused as well.
The child reaches adolescence and fears pregnancy, resents the offenders efforts to control his/her life,
dating, etc.
The child develops a physical symptom that causes him/her to need medical care that leads to a disclosure.
The child encounters a caring adult he/she can trust and feels confident in disclosing to.
Reference: Morgan, M., (1995).How to Interview Sexual Abuse Victims. Thousand Oaks: SAFE Publications.
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52 |
Mandatory Reporting Checklist
Hotline Number: (800) 392-3738
Mandated Reporters Name:
Source of Information (i.e. observation,
childs disclosure, third-party report):
Did you identify yourself when you made the call as a mandated reporter? Yes No
Brief description of call:
Call to child abuse hotline was made. Date: Time:
Hotline workers name or ID:
Code/track recorded by hotline worker:
Investigation/assessment
o Response priority:
Level 1 (Emergency: 3 hrs) Level 2 (24 hrs) Level 3 (72 hrs)
Referral to local office
Documented call
Resources provided by hotline worker:
Information collected and forwarded to child abuse hotline:

Note: You have to call even if you dont have all of the information below!
Childs name:
Childs address:
Name, Address and phone number
of caretaker(s):
Childs age/date of birth:
Childs Gender: Male Female
Childs Ethnicity:
Nature and extent of injuries, abuse, or neglect:
Name, age, and address of person responsible
for injuries (if known):
Family composition (siblings and other
members):
Name and address of person making report:
Is it possible that the alleged perpetrator is going to have access to the child in the next 24
Yes No
hours?
Note: Attach additional notes of other documentation pertaining to call to this form.
Call to child abuse hotline WAS NOT made:
Reason why:
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54 |
Mandated Reporting Scenarios
What Would You Do?

As a facilitator you will be able to interact with the girls and share personal information with each other. Most of the
time, the girls will share information about their family, friends, etc., that is not necessary to report to authority
figures. Sometimes what the girls will say will fall under the Mandated Reporting Guidelines. If the child mentions
something about being hit, being sexually assaulted, not getting enough to eat, etc., you will need to follow the
Mandated Reporting Guidelines (see pages 45-53 for more information).The scenarios below are examples of
situations that may arise that may or may not fall under the Mandated Reporting Guidelines. How do you recognize
which situation should be reported? How would you go about dealing with it? Write your response on the lines
following the questions. An appropriate answer will be provided on the next page. And remember, your supervisor
is always available should you need help deciding what to do in such a position.
Scenario A: In her journal entry, Emily mentions that sometimes she cuts herself in order to feel in control. She
didnt say this whenever she was filling out her survey, so you have to deal with it now. What should you do?
Scenario B: Tara mentions in Circle that she has been physically violent with her little brother. What should you
do?
Scenario C: Your Circle is discussing what is appropriate or not in relationships when Fiona mentions that her
stepdad inappropriately touches her when her mom isnt home. What should you do?
Scenario D: In Megans journal entries, shes constantly saying mean things about her mother. In one entry, she
mentions that her mom lets her starve at night, but you have heard Megan talking in Circle about how her mother is
a vegan and Megan doesnt want to eat vegetables. What should you do?
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Scenario A Answer:
As a facilitator it is your duty to make sure the girls stay safe during Circle. You are required to report if someone is
being harmed, if they are going to harm someone else, or if they are harming themselves. However, the only
situation that can be hotlined is if they are being harmed. Any situation of harm to themselves has to be reported to
Emilys counselor, parent, or juvenile officer. Before doing this, you should report the situation to your supervisor.
Scenario B Answer:
Because you told the girls during the first Circle that you are a Mandated Reporter, Tara knows that you cannot let
this information go without acting upon it. You are required to report if someone is being harmed, if they are going
to harm someone else, or if they are harming themselves. Report Taras incident to your supervisor. Depending on
the level of violence, it may need to be hotlined. The situation of harming someone else needs to be dealt with on a
case by case basis and it should always be reported to someone in authority. Cases are usually only hotlined if the
girl describes a specific act of harm.
Scenario C Answer:
Again, it is your duty as a facilitator to make sure the girls are safe. You are required to report if someone is being
harmed, if they are going to harm someone else, or if they are harming themselves. Report Fionas situation to your
supervisor as soon as possible. This situation needs to be hotlined immediately if Fiona is going to be alone with her
stepdad anytime soon.
Scenario D Answer:
Some cases of abuse are not always clear-cut. However, it sounds like Megan is simply being a picky eater. In order
to make sure, contact your supervisor. They will help you decide if it is necessary to talk to Megans mother or even
her school counselor.
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Girls Circle Training
Towards the end of your training you will need to fill out the Training Evaluation Form located on page 59. Please
fill out this form to the best of your ability, while at the same time being honest about your experience during
training. Any feedback you can provide is very much appreciated.
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58 |
Training Evaluation Forms
Did not quite

How would you rate each of the Way beneath my Met my Exceeded my
meet my
following: expectations. expectations. expectations.
expectations.
The overall training 1 2 3 4
The written training material 1 2 3 4
The presentation & activities 1 2 3 4
The organization of the training 1 2 3 4
If any aspects of the training did not meet your expectations, please share with us how it could be improved:
Would you recommend this training to others? Yes No

Please describe what information presented at the training was most helpful.
Please describe any information presented at the training that was not helpful/useful and what, if any, changes
could be made to make the training more helpful/useful.
What information was not covered today that you want to have before you begin co-facilitating a Girls Circle?
Is there anything else you would like us to know about this training and its usefulness to you?
Thank you for your input!
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References
Hossfeld, Beth, and Taormina, Giovanna. Girls Circle Facilitator Manual: Promoting Resiliency in Adolescent Girls. Cotati:
Girls Circle Association, CA. Print.
NCCD Center for Girls and Young Women. SAVVY Sister: Model Programming. NCCD Center for Girls and
Young Women, 2011. Print.
Springfield Public Schools: Mandated Reporter Information 2014-15. Springfield: Springfield Public Schools, MO. Print.
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Appendix A: School Facilitator To-Do List

Contact co-facilitator.
Reach out to your assigned school counselor(s) and introduce yourselves.
Set up a meeting with your school counselor(s) the week prior to your Circle start date if possible.
Write Welcome Letters.

Bring Beginning Surveys for each of the girls to fill out. Turn these in to your supervisor.
When the first Circle is complete, split up the journals to take home and write responses.
For Each Circle

Make sure to respond to each girls journal prior to every Circle.
Collect whatever supplies/snacks you will need.
At each Circle, display the guidelines the girls created.
Complete Weekly Report and send it to your supervisor.
For Final Circle

Begin preparation for Final Circle around Week 9.
Notify your supervisor at least a week in advance of your Circle graduation date.
Respond to girls in a new, nicer journal. Also include a Farewell Letter for each of the girls.
Bring Ending Surveys for each girl to fill out.
If you have any questions or concerns during this time, please do not hesitate to reach out to your supervisor.
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Appendix B: Juvenile Circle To-Do List

Contact co-facilitator.
Set up a meeting with each girls family.
During the meeting have the girl and her guardians fill out the Pledge to Participate and Emergency
Contact/Authorization to Pick Up forms.
Have the girl fill out the Beginning Survey. Turn all paperwork in.
Write a Welcome Letter in each of the girls journals.

Parents will need to come inside the building on the first night in order to participate in Parent Orientation.
For Each Circle

Make sure to respond to each girls journal prior to every Circle.
Turn out the lights and lock the doors after everyone leaves.
Complete Weekly Report and send it to your supervisor.
Preparation for Graduation Night

Begin preparation for Graduation Night around Week 7. Graduation is during Week 9.
Remind the girls about their graduation on Week 7. Ask that they fill out the Invite List form for you by the
next Circle.
Take a picture with the group (not required).
For Final Circle

Notify your supervisor at least a week in advance of your Circle Graduate date.
Respond to girls in a new, nicer journal that the Center will provide for you. Also, include a Farewell Letter
for each of the girls.
Bring Ending Surveys for each of the girls to fill out.
Arrive early to decorate.
At the beginning of the night, someone will come in to talk to the families about the opportunity to
participate in a Family Group Conference. Facilitators may be asked to help lead one of the focus groups. If
you are uncomfortable with this, do not be afraid to say so. This part will take about 30 minutes.
Eat and enjoy the company! Present the girls with their certificates and gifts. You may also prepare
something to say about each girl if you would like.
If you have any questions or concerns during this time, please do not hesitate to reach out to your supervisor. You
may call or email your supervisor at any time.
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Appendix C: Meet and Greet Checklist
Introduction
Introduce yourself and thank the family for meeting with you.
Let the family know that you are a Circle facilitator who works/volunteers with the CDRs Network for
Girls program.
Explain that the purpose of this meeting is to meet, explain the Circle process, and hopefully to ease any
anxiety she may feel about participating.
Explaining the Circle Process

Ask the girl what she has heard about Circle or what she expects Circle to be like.
Explain Circle:
o Each week has a different theme.
o The themes will cover lots of topics about being a girl: friendships, relationships, dating, conflict,
substance abuse, stress, health and beauty, etc.
o We will talk a lot! You will get to hear from other girls your age.
o We will also do crafts and activities, as well as some games.
o Explain about incentives and ask the girl what kinds of things she likes (i.e. nail polish, gum, etc.).
o The facilitator will be there each week to guide the process, but you will find that most of the talking
will be from you girls. That is the cool part about Circle.
o During the 9th week we will have a graduation celebration.
o Explain to the parents/guardians that we would like them to stay on the first night for a parent
orientation during which we will explain Circle in greater depth and go over important safety
procedures.
The Pledge to Participate

Review the Pledge to Participate with the girl and her family.
Explain that it is very important that she commit to Circle.
o Explain that you create each weeks lessons specifically for the girls, and it doesnt work as well
when girls are absent.
o Let them know that if something does come up, they need to call ahead of time.
o Explain that missing Circle sessions may result in her not graduating from Circle.
Allow both the parent/guardian and girl to read and sign the Pledge to Participate form.
The Beginning Survey

Let the girl know that the purpose of the survey is to get to know her a little better and to help make the
program beneficial for her.
Be sure she understands that only you and your supervisor will see her survey.
Let her know that she can skip over any questions she doesnt feel comfortable answering.
Let her know that she can move to a more private area if she prefers.
The Emergency Contact/Authorization to Pick Up Form

Explain the form to the parent/guardian to allow him/her to read and fill it out.
Explain that they need to contact you if they wish to add anyone to the form as an authorized pick-up
person.
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Closing
Ask if anyone has any questions.
Review the time, date, and location for Circle.
Thank them for their time and be sure to let the girl know that you are excited about her participation!
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Appendix D: Sample 8-Week Curriculum
Week One: Celebrating My Individuality
Purpose
To get acquainted with the Circle process.
To create safe and respectful guidelines.
To help the girls get acquainted with one another.
Activity
1. Guidelines
2. Creating Journals
Game
2 Truths and a Lie
Materials
Include activity sheets and/or supporting resources.
Paper Bowl
Decorations Note Cards
Pencils Journals
Poster Board
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Write out class itinerary
Lesson
EXPLAIN THE PROCESS (lighting the candle, putting cell phones away, check-in)
CHECK-IN
INTRODUCE THEME: Celebrating My Individuality
o We are all starting this Girls Circle together.
o Some might be nervous, others excited. Ask the girls how they feel.
o This is a new experience for all of us. We have the opportunity to learn, become friends, talk and
share with each other and that is why I am really excited for this group. It is my chance to get to
know each one of you for who YOU are.
GAME: 2 Truths and a Lie
ACITIVITY 1: Group guidelines:
o Have a girl write the guidelines as the group talks about them.
o Given the reason for having this Circle, what types of guidelines can we create to make this Circle
possible? How can we create safety in the group?
o How do we want to treat each other in the group?
o What guidelines promote honesty and respect?
o Mandated reporter
If you are being hurthurting yourself or others are hurting you,
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If you threaten to harm another
o Have the girls sign the guidelines if they agree to abide by them.
o Sharing of activity: What do we think about our guidelines? How will these promote safety and
trust in our Circle?
ACTIVITY 2: Decorate Journals
o Explain the journaling process: 20 minutes
o Individuality is the character which uniquely distinguishes [girls name] from anyone else.
It can take courage to step away from the crowd and be an individual, to stand up for what
you think and believe in. It is important to be proud of your own individuality.
o Go around the Circle and have the girls say one thing to express their individuality, what makes
them unique from others.
JOURNALING
o 10 minutes
o Prompt: Tell me 3 things about yourself that I dont know yet. What are your personal goals for this
group? What do you want to learn?
o Sharing of activity: What is one thing you can do this week to honor your individuality?
AFFIRMATIONS
Facilitator Follow-Up Activity

Respond to journals for next week.
Reflection Notes
Reflection notes are to be completed after the lesson.
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Week Two: Being a Girl
Purpose
To help the girls see the advantages of being a girl.
To be proud of who they are and being a woman.
To acknowledge their differences and to challenge stereotypes.
Activity
1. Discussion with Agree/Disagree
2. Collage: Being a Girl
Game
What am I?
Materials
Poster Board Magazines
Glue Note Cards
Markers Stickers
Scissors Tape
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Lesson
OPENING RITUAL
CHECK-IN
QUICKLY GO OVER GROUP GUIDELINES
GAME 3: What am I?
o Put note card on each girls back with the name of an object. The girls have to go around and ask
each other yes/no questions to figure out what they are. (i.e. ocean, broccoli, airplane, ladybug,
Britney Spears, Kate Middleton, etc.)
INTRODUCE THEME: Being a Girl
o Miss Representation Video: <http://vimeo.com/28066212>.
ACTIVITY 2: Discussion with Agree/Disagree
o Girls generally feel hesitant to say good things about themselves.
o Being a girl is difficult.
o Sometimes I dont like being a girl.
o The media tells girls how to look and behave.
o The media shows girls what perfect looks like.
o I have thought about what it would like to be a boy.
o Sometimes I compare myself to other girls and end up unhappy.
o I often think negatively about myself.
o Saying positive things about myself is bragging.
ACTIVITY 2: Tell Me About You
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o Have the girls write their answers on a note card:
Write one gift or talent you possess.
Write one achievement for which you are proud.
Write one person who is very important to your life.
Write your favorite personal quality about yourself.
Write one thing you love about being a girl.
What makes you unique?
CRAFT: Collage: Being a Girl
o Using the theme of being a girl have each girl create a collage on a piece of poster board.
Encourage the girls to use as many different types of media as they need to fully express themselves.
o When everyone is finished have the girls go around and share their collage.
SNACKS/JOURNALING
o Prompt: What is your favorite thing about being a girl? What negative aspects, if any, have you
experienced from being a girl? What could you do to change this?
AFFIRMATIONS

Respond to journals for next week
Reflection Notes
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Week Three: Friendships
Purpose
To develop an understanding about the common feelings when one is
included or excluded.
To promote empathy and awareness of others feelings and experiences.
To promote thinking about friendship characteristics.
To provide the opportunity for interactions and exchange of ideas and values.
Activity
1. Positive Qualities Friendship Wreath
2. Pair Storytelling
3. Positive Qualities & Thank You Cards
Game
Act/React
Materials
Paper Hand Print Cut-outs
Pencils Note cards
Markers Scissors
Crayons Cards for Letters
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Lesson
OPENING RITUAL
CHECK-INS
GAME: Act/React
o Have each person write an event. Tell them to be creative!
You were just surprised by a large, aggressive bear in the woods.
You just won the lottery.
You have just been proposed to with an engagement ring.
You just got fired by an incompetent boss.
You made the game-winning pass to win the Super Bowl.
You just fell in love.
o Once everyone writes an event, fold the paper once and place it into the bag. Divide the group into
two teams.
o Instructions: Ask a person to randomly select an event from the bag. Instruct them to react to this
event, without explicitly giving away what the event is. Choose a time limit (usually 30 seconds to a
minute works well) and when you say Go have them simultaneously react to their event using
exaggerated gestures, facial expressions, and their voice (noises only). For example, the person who
has just won the lottery could raise her arms and scream excitedly, jumping up and down. The
person who has just confronted a bear might make a terrified look, shake in fear, and call for help.
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Each actor can interact with each other, but they must stay in character and continue reacting and
acting based upon what their sheet says. After time expires, the other members of the team try to
guess what happened for each person. If you wish to keep score, each team gets a point for each
correct guess. This game is a great way to break the ice, while watching people act out silly, and
usually hilarious, events.
INTRODUCE THEME: Friendships
ACTIVITY 1: Positive Qualities Friendship Wreath
o Instructions: Have the girls get into groups. Give each of them a hand print template and markers.
Ask them, What are positive characteristics in good friends? Let the kids finish the sentence, I
like friends who to give them inspiration for their handprints. Have the girls sign their first
names or draw a picture on the palms of the handprints. They must also discuss among themselves
what the 5 most important qualities of a best friend are. Have them write these qualities in the
fingers. At the end of the craft, you can have Circle time again to talk about what the children
decided they liked in a friend. Talk about the importance of having those qualities. Example: If you
like friends who smile a lot, then you should try to smile a lot too.
What characteristics of friendships seem most important?
What is one friendship characteristic that you want to further develop in yourself this week?
ACTIVITY 2: Pair Storytelling
o Instructions: Divide the girls into pairs. Ask the pairs to take turns telling each other about a time
when they were excluded from a group. These may involve family groups, school or sports groups,
religious or neighborhood groups. How did they feel? Ask each to listen attentively, without
interrupting, while their partner tells her story. Divide the girls into different pairs and ask partners
to tell each other about a time when they were included in a group. How did they feel?
o Sharing of Activity: Ask girls to share something they realized or learned by listening to and sharing
their stories.
Which was easier, telling a story of being included or excluded?
How will this experience of listening to others stories affect your actions with your
classmates or other group members?
In what ways do you think being a part of a group is important?
How does being excluded from a group influence a persons feelings or ideas about
herself?
What are some things girls think about when they feel left out of a group?
What are some strategies we can use to help others feel included?
ACTIVITY 3: Positive Qualities & Thank You Cards
o Instructions: Have the girls brainstorm the qualities that make a good friend. List the qualities on a
poster board/white board. Have each girl think of a person who has demonstrated these positive
friendship qualities. Have each girl write a thank you card to that person, thanking them for being a
good friend.
SNACK/JOURNALING
o Prompt: What do you think makes a good friend? What characteristic makes your best friend your
best friend? When it might hurt their feelings, do you tell your friends the truth? In what
circumstances would you tell the truth? Not tell the truth? How do we learn about ourselves from
our friends?
AFFIRMATIONS

Respond to journals for next week.
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Reflection Notes
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Week Four: Relationships
Purpose
To learn that self-respect in a relationship comes first.
To explore between self-esteem and healthy relationships.
To identify and explore the myths and illusions about love and romance.
To explore the values of being in a relationship.
To examine healthy vs. unhealthy relationships.
To understand the importance of girls sticking together to empower and support each other in regard to
relationships.
Activity
1. Identifying Values in Relationships
2. Questions to Answer
3. Letters: Help Me!
4. What Does the Song Say?
Materials
Handouts: Help Me! letters, Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships, Types of Abuse
Paper
Pencils
Bowl
Music/Lyrics
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Print handouts
Lesson
OPENING RITUAL
CHECK-IN
INTRODUCE THEME: Relationships
o A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be herselfto laugh with me but
never at me; to cry with me but never because of me; to love life, to love herself, to love being
loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart. ~ Leo F.
Buscaglia
o Invite the girls to discuss and explore the myths about love and romance found in books, magazines,
TV shows, and music videos.
How do these things portray love and romance?
What is realistic about it? What is unrealistic?
Can someones desire for love and romance get in the way of having a healthy relationship?
If so, how?
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How does a romantic relationship affect other relationships? Do you have less time for your
other friends or family? Leave old friends for new ones?
ACTIVITY 1: Identifying Values in Relationships
o Instructions: Read the following statements about values in relationships and ask them to move to
the section of the room where the sign agrees with how they feel about that value statement.
Encourage the girls to be honest about the way they feel, and not just follow the other girls. Let
them know that their thoughts and feelings will be respected.
Love is a feeling.
Its normal for boyfriends or partners to be jealous and get mad, even if the reason for
jealousy is not real.
Relationships should be free of conflict.
If someone is attracted to me, they will want to be in a relationship with me.
If I am attracted to someone, the relationship will most likely work out.
I come first in a relationship.
Being with the right person makes me a complete and a whole person.
The more together I am, the more love I have for myself, the better chance I have of having
a successful relationship.
Physical violence (hitting) in relationships is pretty normal, if my partner feels bad and
apologizes, things will work out okay.
Its okay if my boyfriend or girlfriend wants to have sex, even if Im not ready.
If I keep trying to change my partner, I am using my energy on something I cant really
control, and that can drain me.
Making my boyfriend or girlfriend happy is what is most important in a relationship.
Its alright if my boyfriend or girlfriend puts me down and wants to change me.
Romance is one of the most important parts of a relationship.
o After reading each statement, ask for a few volunteers to describe how they feel about the statement
and tell the others about it. Tell the girls that there are no right or wrong answers, only opinions.
Encourage discussion by asking:
Why do you feel that way?
What makes you believe in that value?
How do you stand up for that value?
How do you support that value in others?
o Let the girls know that they can change their mind about a value if someone else makes a good case
for agreeing or disagreeing with that value. If so, they can move under a different sign.
o Continue in that manner, reading one statement at a time, inviting discussion and a chance to move
under different signs until each value is discussed. As the facilitator, refrain from giving your own
thoughts, rather, encourage the girls to think through these values with each other.
ACTIVITY 2: Questions to Answer
o Tell the girls they can write 1-2 questions about dating, relationships, or sex. It could be a situation
theyve been in, something they are curious about, etc. Tell the girls that these will remain
anonymous.
o Put questions into a bowl and tell the girls to think during the next activity.
o Come back and read questions one by one, and start discussion.
ACTIVITY 3: Letters: Help Me!
o Use letters in the Help Me! activity to facilitate discussion.
o Have the girls jot down some initial thoughts after each letter so that they can better contribute to
the discussion.
ACTIVITY 4: What Does the Song Say?
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o Listen to portions of current songs and have girls talk about what message this song sends about
relationships;
o OR read portions of song lyrics and talk about what those mean.
SNACK/JOURNALING
o Prompt:
What have you done well in relationships? (If you have not had a boyfriend or girlfriend
think about a close relationship.)
What might you do differently in relationships?
Will what you have learned today change how you enter a new relationship? If so, how?
Will it change your expectations and assumptions about relationships? If so, how?
AFFIRMATIONS
HANDOUT: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships (see page 82).

Reflection Notes
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Help Me! Letter Examples
For this weeks curriculum you will have an activity revolving around letters the girls wrote. These are to remain
anonymous whenever they are being discussed. Below are a two examples of Help Me! Letters:
Letter #1
My boyfriend is always pushing me to have sex. Im only 12 and I dont think I want to have sex yet. A
lot of girls in my class have, at least they say they have, but I dont think I want to. Last night my
boyfriend said if I keep leading him on he wont love me anymore. I know Im being stupid, but I dont
want to lose him. He gets pretty pushy when we are making out, and sometimes he gets really angry
when I say no. What can I do?
Signed,
Pushed and Perplexed
Letter #2
I am in a relationship with a girl who is very nice. Shes beautiful, funny, and really cares for me. The
thing is, whenever we have a problem, like a disagreement, I dont know how to control myself. Ive
always had a temper, but with her, its like I just blow up. Ive never hit her and I dont think I will, but
I have thrown things and hit the wall pretty hard. I even say things sometimes, kind of like threats, that
if she doesnt listen or whatever Ill hurt her. I dont mean it, but I dont know how to get myself in
control and I think shes going to break up with me. What can I do?
Signed,
Bruising and Breaking
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Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships
Healthy relationships have the following characteristics:

Listens to you and take your feelings and ideas seriously.
Talks openly and honestly with you about what matters to them.
Never uses threats of harm, violence, or suicide to get his/her own way.
Never hits, punches, kicks, bites, slaps, pushes, or otherwise strikes out in anger or jealousy.
Does not try to control what you do, where you go, and who you talk to.
Enjoys spending time with you, and shows it whether alone with you or in a group.
Trusts you, and earns your trust by keeping your confidences.
Allows you to enjoy the activities and people that matter to you.
Accepts your limits about sexual activity every time.
Feels respected, supported, and valued. Both people in the relationship should feel this way.
Makes decisions together.
Settles disagreements with open and honest communication.
More good times than bad.
Unhealthy relationships have the following characteristics:

Believing one person has more rights than the other.
Shouting or yelling when you are angry at your partner.
Using the silent treatment.
Pestering your partner until you get what you want.
Pouting to get what you want.
Calling, texting, or emailing excessively.
One person trying to change the other.
One person making most, or all, of the decisions.
One or both people dropping friends and interests outside of the relationship.
One person yelling, threatening, hitting or throwing things during arguments.
One person making fun of the others opinions or interests.
One person keeping track of the other all the time by calling, texting, or checking in with other friends.
There are more bad times than good.
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Types of Abuse
There are many different types of abuse. The table below lists the separate types and provides examples of the
behavior that comes along with the type.
Types of
Examples of Behavior
Abuse
Hitting, pushing, punching, kicking, biting, slapping, hair-pulling, throwing or
Physical smashing things, punching the wall, smashing the windows, burning, strangling,
stabbing, and murder.
Making someone do sexual things that they dont want to doraping them.
Sexual Calling the person a slag, slut, or telling them that they are frigid.
Not allowing the person to dress in a way they want to or making them dress a
certain way.
Constantly putting someone down, making them feel bad about themselves
insulting them by calling them fat, ugly, stupid, etc.
Emotional Always lying to them, ignoring them, and withholding affection.
Threatening to leave or to throw them out, threatening to commit suicide if they
leave.
Stopping someone from seeing friends and family, not allowing the person to
have visitors.
Isolation Stopping them from going to school or having a job.
Not allowing them to talk to their friends or family on the phone.
Going everywhere with them.
Taking a persons money, making a person ask for money.

Not allowing them to work and earn money.
Financial
Making a person give them all their money.
Making all the decisions about how to spend money.
Making the person afraid by using looks and gestures.

Saying they will hurt or kill them or someone precious to them. This can also
Threats include pets.
Threatening to smash things.
Threatening to tell other people how bad/stupid they are.
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Week Five: Family and Conflict
Purpose
To identify conflict style, improve self-awareness, and know pros and
cons to each style.
To learn how to use an I statement and recognize how I statements
help people understand each other.
Activity
Conflict Styles
I Statements
Game
Me & My Family
Materials
Questionnaire Markers/Pencils
Paper Clay
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Lesson
OPENING RITUAL:
o School Quote: What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters, compared to what lies
within us. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
CHECK-IN: High & Low
GAME: Me & My Family
o Instructions: Give each of the girls one Skittle of each colorgreen, purple, orange, red, and
yellow. Ask the girls to respond to the following questions:
Green: Words to describe your family.
Purple: Ways your family has fun.
Orange: Things you would like to improve about your family.
Red: Things you worry about.
Yellow: Favorite memories with your family.
INTRODUCE THEME: Family & Conflict
o Ask the girls What does conflict look like to you? (Write this on the board.)
o As we learn more about how our own needs influence our feelings and our actions, we can also use
this insight to improve our communication and relationships. For instance, if someone you know
lashes out at you, you might try asking yourself what they might be feeling and why. That doesnt
excuse the way they treated you, but it might help you experience empathy and compassion for them
which may help you communicate with them in more loving, sensitive, and productive ways.
ACTIVITY 1: What is Your Conflict Style?
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o By knowing your own default patterns, you improve your self-awareness. Once you are aware of
your own patterns, you can pay attention to whether they are working for you and you can explore
alternatives.
o Fill out the questionnaire to determine conflict styles.
Discussion: Were you surprised by your results?
Does this adequately represent how you deal with conflict? Why or why not?
Think about the person you selected on your diagram. Do the results represent how you
handle conflict with that person?
What are some ways you can better handle conflict with your family member?
ACTIVITY 2: I Statements
o Explain to the girls that they will be learning about and practicing I statements today as a way to
better communicate their needs and expectations in relationships.
Ask them (emphasizing the YOU in the quote): How might you respond if someone in your
family came up to you and said, YOU always come home late, and YOU forget to take out
the trash, and YOU always mess up!
If none of the girls offer that they might feel bad or that they would yell back, say, I know if
someone were to say those thingsand even if some of those things were trueit would
feel like a personal attack and I dont think I would be able to hear their feedback because I
was so upset/angry/mad.
SNACK/JOURNALING
o Prompt:
What was your conflict style and do you feel it was accurate?
After learning about the other styles, do you think there is one that will help you to
communicate more effectively?
What did you think about the I statements?
AFFIRMATIONS

Reflection Notes
86 |
Conflict Styles Test
How do you typically handle conflict? Each sentence below describes one way that a person might react to a
conflict. If you do this often write 3 in the space next to the corresponding number of the statement at the bottom
of the page. If you sometimes do this, write a 2. If you rarely do this, write 1.
When faced with a conflict I

1. Make a plan to win an argument or fight.
2. Consider how the other person sees the situation.
3. Look for a 50-50 deal where we both get half of what we want.
4. Say what I want, and then back off.
5. Try to steer clear of the other person.
6. Never lose sight of my goal in an argument.
7. Look at the problem from many angles.
8. Consider giving up most of what I want to keep the peace and not fight.
9. Give in to get the fight behind me.
10. Change the subject.
11. Keep saying what I want.
12. Try to get everyones real concerns out in the open.
13. Give in a little, and try to get the other person to do the same.
14. Try to come to agreements quickly.
15. Dont make a big deal out of it, unless its really important.
16. Threaten the other person, and let them know theyll be sorry if they dont do what I want.
17. Suggest different ways for how we can solve the conflict.
18. Go with whatever solution looks fair.
19. Let the other person come up with a solution.
20. Make plans never to get into the same situation again.
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
11. 12. 13. 14. 15.
16. 17. 18. 19. 20.
Competing Collaborating Compromising Accommodating Avoiding

Total Total Total Total Total
Your Highest Total:
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Conflict Management Styles
Conflict Management Styles

Collaborating I win, you win
Owls highly value their own goals and relationships. They view conflict as a problem to be
solved and to seek solution that achieves both their goals and the goals of the other person.
Owls see conflicts as a means of improving relationships by reducing tensions between two
persons. They try to get into a discussion that identifies the conflict as a problem. By
seeking solutions that satisfy both themselves and the other person. Owls maintain the
Owl relationship. Owls are not satisfied until a solution is found that achieves their goals and
other persons goals. They are not satisfied until tensions and negative feelings have fully
resolved.
Avoiding I zig, you zag
Turtles withdraw into their shells to avoid conflicts. They give up their goals and
relationships, they stay away from the issues over which the conflict is taking place and
from the persons they are in conflict with. Turtles believe it is easier to withdraw from
Turtle conflict than to face it.
Competing I win, you lose
Sharks try to overpower opponents by forcing them to accept their solution to the conflict.
Their goals are highly important to them, and relationships are of minor importance. They
seek to achieve their goals at all costs. They are not concerned with the needs of others and
do not care if others like or accept them. Sharks assume that conflicts are settled by one
Shark person winning and one person losing. They want to be a winner. Winning gives sharks a
sense of pride and achievement. Losing gives them a sense of weakness, inadequacy, and
failure. They try to win by attaching, overwhelming, and intimidating.
Accommodating I lose, you win
Teddy bears place great importance on the relationship, while their own goals are of little
importance. Teddy bears want to be accepted and to be liked by others. They see that
conflict should be avoided in favor of harmony and that people cannot discuss conflicts
without damaging relationships. They are afraid that if the conflict continues, someone will
get hurt and that would ruin the relationship. Teddy bears say, Ill give up my goals and let
Teddy Bear you have what you want in order for you to like me. Teddy bears try to smooth over the
conflict out of fear of harming the relationship.
Compromising You bend, I bend
Foxes are moderately concerned with their own goals and their relationships with others.
Foxes seek compromise; they give up part of their goals and persuade the other person in a
conflict to give up part of their goals. They seek a conflict solution in which both sides gain
something; the middle ground between two extreme positions. They are willing to sacrifice
Fox their goals and relationships in order to find agreement for the common good.
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Week Six: Positive Self-Talk
Purpose
To develop an understanding of the way that our attitudes and thoughts influence for better or
worse our feelings and behavior.
To challenge the messages that the girls are giving themselves and substitute positive messages
for those that are negative, students can develop the self-confidence to overcome obstacles to
success.
Activity
Champion vs. Critic
Yes I AM (practicing self-talk)
Game
Name Game
Materials
Affirmation Boxes Glue
Sparkles Flowers
Paints Paint brush
Markers Buttons
Ribbon
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Lesson
OPENING RITUAL
CHECK-IN
GAME: Name Game
o Instructions: Tell the girls to introduce themselves and name a positive attribute that begins with
the same letter as the first letter of their first name (i.e. Beautiful Becky, Jolly Jane). The next girl will
say what the previous girl said as well as her own name and this will continue until the last girl. The
last girl will say all of the names.
INTRODUCE THEME: Positive Self-Talk
o Facilitator briefly introduces the meaning of self-confidence to the class.
Definition: a feeling of trust in ones abilities, qualities, and judgment.
o Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, what you
say, and so on. Thoughts affect the way we feel, and feelings affect the way we behave.
ACTIVITY 1: Champion vs. Critic
o Instructions: Explain to the girls that you will all participate in a silent, internal conversation called
self-talk. This talk consists of two inside voices: the inner champion and the inner critic. The
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champion is positive and a source of peacefulness, confidence, and strength. The critic is negative
and a source of fear, blame, and doubt.
o Have the girls close their eyes and listen as you read out loud to them the list of inner critic phrases
(worksheet provided). Tell them to especially notice what emotions they experience while listening
to the list, as well as how their body feels. Have them write down their observations privately. Do
the same thing with their inner champion phrases. Have the girls write down their observations.
o Discussion:
What feelings did you have during the reading of each list?
What changes/suggestions did you notice in your body as each list was read?
What did you learn about the power of words?
How do you think you might behave after listening to your inner critic?
How is this different from how you might behave if you were listening to your inner
champion instead?
ACTIVITY 2: Yes I AM (practicing self-talk)
o Instructions: Read the Self-Talk Handout and break the girls into pairs (dyads) and have them read
together one of the sample situations. Using the sample as a guide, have each girl in the dyad identify
two areas in her life where she has been having negative or self-defeating thoughts. Tell the girls they
can refer to the list on the sample sheet for ideas. The girls can work together to come up with
replacement affirmations to replace the low negative self-talk statements.
CRAFT: Decorate Affirmation Boxes and have girls write an affirmation for each girl and put it into the
box.
SNACK/JOURNALING
o Prompt:
What were your two examples of negative self-talk in our last activity, and what were the
positive self-talk replacements?
What did you learn about the power of words?
What did you think about the Affirmation boxes?
AFFIRMATIONS: A positive statement about yourself or a situation that is spoken in the first person
present tense.

Reflection Notes
90 |
Positive Self-Talk: The Inner Voice
Being a positive learner is about the language you use when you talk to yourself.
We have three internal voices: the YES voice, the NO voice, and the I DONT KNOW voice.
As a human being, you have an inner world and an outer world.
Your inner world is made up of your thoughts and feelings (plus a lot of physical things, like your spinal
cord, heart, intestines, lungs, etc.).
Your outer world is made up of the other things and other people, buildings, circumstances, family, the
weather, your outer environment, etc.
Within your inner world there is a voice thats called your Inner Voice of thought.
Our Inner Voices talk to us in certain ways. Sometimes they talk to us in a YES voice, sometimes in a NO
voice, and sometimes in an I DONT KNOW voice.
The great news for learning and living is that we can program our Inner Voice and become the voice, and
the person, we wish to be. What we say with our Inner Voice will show up as living to the Outer World
people.
This is great news because it means our Inner Voice is powerful.
It means you are powerful.
The more you choose to program a YES voice, the more powerful you will be.
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Activity Handout: Inner Critic vs. Inner Champion
Inner Critic Inner Champion

I cant. I can.
I have to. I choose to, I want to.
Im afraid to do it. I can try.
Ill fail. Ill succeed.
Im no good at it. I am enough.
I cant do it. I can handle it.
Im a loser. I am special.
I will never be happy again. I will get through this hard time.
I am powerless to change this. I can make a difference in my life.
Im dumb. I am smart.
Ill never get it. I will get it.
Im not as good as the rest of them. I am me and I am great the way I am.
I am ugly. I am attractive.
I hate myself. I love myself.
I always mess everything up. I succeed often.
Im a jerk. I am a nice person.
I cant do anything right. I can do many things.
Ill never make it. I can make it. I will try!
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Activity Handout: Self-Talk Samples
Julie is an 8th grader who is a good student, works very hard and gets mostly Bs and Cs on her report card. She has
2 good friends who get mostly As and she is constantly comparing herself to them. Her negative self-talk sounds
like this:
Whats the matter with me?
Im stupid!
Ill never get into a good college.
All my friends are smarter than me.
After working on her affirmation statements, her self-talk sounds like this:
I work hard and do my best in school.
I set goals for myself in school and will measure my success by meeting those goals instead of comparing
myself to others.
I will stop asking about my friends grades.
I feel good about my accomplishments and know I have a bright future.
Maria is a 7th grader who is very emotional. She sometimes blows up (cries/blames/yells) at her friends and family
where there is a conflict between them. Afterwards, she becomes very self-critical saying things like:
I hate myself.
Im an idiot.
No one likes me.
I love myself and accept the way I am.
I know I am not perfect. When I make a mistake, I can apologize and try to handle it differently the next
time.
I am a good person and friend and many people like me just the way I am.
Kisha is a 9th grader who is larger in size than many of her friends. Sometimes other kids call her names like fatso
and wide-load. Kisha began to internalize these words and say to herself the following:
I am huge and ugly.
No one likes me.
Ill never fit in with the group.
People come in different sizes. My size is just right for me.
I am healthy and am growing at the right pace for me.
I like myself and have friends and family who like me for who I am.
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94 |
Week Seven: A Healthy Me
Purpose
To practice stress management techniques and evaluate effective strategies for dealing with stress.
To encourage self-awareness and listening to ones body.
To be aware of what is truly healthy and beautiful.
Activity
Signs of Stress Overload
Healthy? Beautiful?
Relaxation and Feelings Identification
Game
One Thing Im Thankful For Today (Thanksgiving Week)
Materials
Person Templates Pens
Green Paper Flour
Blue Paper Water Bottles
Scissors Sharpies
Balloons Yarn
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Lesson
OPENING RITUAL
CHECK-IN
GROUP PICTURE (if all the girls are present)
GAME: One Thing Im Thankful For (Thanksgiving Week)
o Instructions: Invite the group to stand and reflect on one thing they are grateful for today. After a
moment, begin sharing.
INTRODUCE THEME: A Healthy Me
o Ask the girls what they think of when they hear the word healthy.
o Definition of Health: the condition of being sound in body, mind, or spirit.
o Today we will focus on strengthening our body, mind, and spirit.
ACTIVITY 1: Signs of Stress Overload
o Feeling like there are too many pressures and demands on you?
o Losing sleep worrying about tests and schoolwork? Eating on the run because your schedule is just
too busy? Youre not alone. Everyone experiences stress at timesadults, teens, and even kids. But
there are ways to minimize stress and manage the stress thats unavoidable.
o Have the girls locate where the stress affects them on a picture of a person (see page 98).
o Discussion: People who are experiencing stress overload may notice some of the following signs:
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Anxiety or panic attacks.
A feeling of being constantly pressured, hassled, and hurried.
Irritability and moodiness.
Physical symptoms such as stomach problems, headaches, or even chest pain.
Allergic reactions such as eczema or asthma.
Problems sleeping.
Drinking too much, smoking, overeating, or doing drugs.
Sadness or depression.
o Everyone experiences stress a little differently. Some people become angry and act out their stress or
take it out on others. Some people internalize it and develop eating disorders or substance abuse
problems. And some people who have chronic illness may find that the symptoms of their illness
flare up under an overload of stress.
ACTIVITY 2: Healthy? Beautiful?
o What does healthy look like to you?
Write on blue sheets of paper
Sort in categories
o What does beautiful look like to you?
Write on green sheets of paper
Sort in categories
ACTIVITY 3: Relaxation and Feelings Identification Exercise
o Instructions: Refer to the Relaxation Techniques Handout when needed. Play relaxing music and
lead them through the exercise.
How did this make you feel?
Sometimes its good to take a few minutes and relax our mind and body.
This exercise can be done at home, in the morning before school, after school, or anytime
thats convenient for you.
CRAFT: Stress Balls (refer to handout included for directions)
SNACK/JOURNALING
o Prompt: What is healthy? What is beauty? What can you do to make yourself healthier? What other
ways could YOU deal with stress?
AFFIRMATIONS

Respond to journals for the week.
Reflection Notes
96 |
Introduction to A Healthy Me Discussion about Stress
We will be discussing STRESS, how it affects us, and how we can deal with it in various ways.
Stress is a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension.
Medical researchers estimate that up to 90% of illness and disease is stress-related.
Unhealthy ways of relieving stress can include smoking, overeating, and drinking alcohol.
Taking time for yourself to relax can greatly relieve stress.
Examples of ways to relax and relieve stress: yoga, stretching, taking a bubble bath, reading a book, lighting
a candle, listening to music, journaling, knitting, taking a walk, etc.
Questions to consider:
What stresses you out?

What are some of the emotions you feel when you are stressed out?
How does stress effect your body/mood?
How have you dealt with stress before? Are these positive or negative ways of dealing with stress?
What are some healthy ways to take time for yourself and cope with stress?
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Name: _________________________
98 |
Week Eight: Self-Esteem
Purpose
To help girls learn ways to raise their self-esteem.
Activity
Healthy Body/Beautiful Body
Facts and Figures & Beauty Around the World
Just Because Poems
Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls
Operation Beautiful
Materials
Beauty in Culture Pictures
Just Because Poems
Handout: Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls
Device to show videos
Lesson Preparation
Respond to journals
Lesson
OPENING RITUAL
CHECK-IN
GROUP PICTURE!
INTRODUCE THEME: Self-Esteem
o Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
ACTIVITY 1: Healthy Body/Beautiful Body
o Videos:
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP31r70_QNM>.
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omBfg3UwkYM>.
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei6JvK0W601>.
<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk>.
o Discussion:
Where do these ideas of healthy and beautiful come from?
Where do girls generally get information about health? How well do those messages match
what we see on TV, in magazines, and from the fashion industry?
What messages do the media tell us about health and/or beauty?
Who decides what beautiful is?
What differences or similarities are there in ideas about beauty from different cultures?
ACTIVITY 2: Facts and Figures & Beauty Around the World
o Read some facts and figures about beauty/health.
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Adolescents with negative body image are more likely to suffer from mental health concerns
such as depression and anxiety, and also to suffer from peer group problems.
One or two out of every hundred students will suffer from an eating disorder.
While eating disorders are well-documented among white girls, they affect girls of all
ethnicities at a growing rate. These eating disorders include anorexia, bulimia, compulsive
eating, obesity, and binge eating disorder.
About 2 million adolescents have pre-diabetes, a condition influenced by a heavy diet of
sugars and hidden sweeteners such as corn syrup.
According to statistics compiled by the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, the
number of kids 18 and under having plastic surgery rose from just under 60,000 in 1997 to
nearly 225,000 in 2003.
The average model used in the fashion industry is 510 and weighs 120 pounds, which is
almost 20% underweight.
Today we looked at our definitions of a healthy body and a beautiful body and heard various
views on that. Weve heard a lot of statistics about how much our appearance and feelings
interfere with out wellnesseating disorders, mood problems, etc. And weve heard about
health problems such as diabetesoften related to diet and nutritional choices. Health,
beauty, appearance, and body image are big topics.
o Talk about beauty differences around the world. Show pictures.
ACTIVITY 3: Just Because Poems
o Write and share (see page 25 for more information on Just Because Poems).
ACTIVITY 4: Operation Beautiful
o Instructions: Write a motivating note on a Post-it and put it on a public place like on a bathroom
mirror, in the gym locker room, or even on a random cars windshield. If you want, you can write
the web address www.OperationBeautiful.com on the bottom so other women can find the
site!
SNACK/JOURNALING
o Prompt: Add to last weeks prompt. Ask something about the program as a whole. What did they
learn/gain from the program? Overall feelings towards the program? What is one thing they will
always remember from Girls Circle? That way, we can read those this week and then write a final
goodbye and good luck type of message for the graduation and they can take their journals home
next week.
AFFIRMATIONS

Respond to the journals for next week
Reflection Notes
100 |
Appendix E: Authorization to Participate and
Release Information
1. In order for the Girls Circle facilitator to be able to prepare for Girls Circle and contact the participants and
their parents, it is necessary for personal identifying information to be released from the Springfield Public
Schools R-12 District to the Center for Dispute Resolution at Missouri State University. To participate in
the Girls Circle program, the student and her custodian must authorize Springfield Public Schools to release
the following information to the Center for Dispute Resolution: the students name, the names of the
students parent(s)/guardian/custodian, contact information including known phone numbers and mailing
addresses, the students age and race, the school attended by the student, a description of that students
behavioral record, and any special needs the student may have.
2. Girls Circle is generally a confidential process. Statements made by the participants are generally confidential
unless the interests of the public require disclosure. Limitations to confidentiality include, but are not limited
to: threats of self, threats of harm to another person or property of another, and physical or sexual abuse.
3. As part of this program it is important that we assess how the girls respond, grow, and/or change while in
the program. In order to do this we ask that girls in the program complete brief surveys before and after
they finish the Girls Circle Program and participate in a focus group discussion at the conclusion of the
program. The identity of the girls is held in the strictest confidence in relation to their responses to the
surveys and their comments in the focus group. We may also share the results of the assessments with
others in the form of articles or presentations; however, when doing so the identity of girls will be fully
protected.
By signing below, the student and the custodian indicate that they have read the above information and have made a
decision for the students to participate in Girls Circle, consent to the release information as described above, and
release Springfield Public Schools, the Center for Dispute Resolution, the Girls Circle facilitator, and their
representatives and employees from any and all liability for information provided or exchanged pursuant to this
authorization.
Signature of Student Date
Signature of Parent/Guardian/Custodian Date
The Center for Dispute Resolution

Springfield Public Schools
Missouri State University www.springfieldpublicschoolsmo.org
www.missouristate.edu/cdr
(417) 523-0000 fax (417) 523-0196
(417) 836-8831 fax (417) 836-8288
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Appendix F: Invite List
In order to prepare for your Girls Circle Graduation, we need to know the number of people you will be inviting.
Please fill this form out and return it to one of your facilitators by Week 8 of your Girls Circle.
Name of Circle member:
Name of Invitee Relationship to You
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
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104 |
Take Your Own Notes
Taking notes during the training may be useful to you; here is some space for you to do that.
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The Center for Dispute Resolution Training Workshops Mediation

Who They Are and What They Do

Offering conflict management, mediation, training, and educational services;

Missouri State University

Director of the CDR

Associate Director of the CDR

Graduate Assistants and Other Positions within the CDR

How the CDR Has Helped

Stay Updated on All Things CDR

What is Girls Circle?

Girls Circle Mission Statement

Training Dates and Schedule

9:00-9:15 Opening and Introductions

12:30-1:15 Mandated Reporting: What You Need to Know

1:15-2:15 Panel Discussion #1

2:15-2:30 Snack Break & Activity

2:30-3:15 All About Journaling

3:15-4:15 Panel Discussion #2

4:15-4:30 Closing Remarks

First Name: Middle Name: Last Name:

Date of Birth: Social Security Number:

Previous Home Address (including dates of residence):

The Center for Dispute Resolution Training Workshops Mediation

Circle Age Groups

Circle for Girls Model

Circle for Girls Model

Before Circle Begins

For the First Circle

For Each Circle

For Final Circle

Difficult Group Dynamics

Some common group dynamics which may arise are:

Cliques The Negative Person

Prompt Question Girls Response

Dear Girls Circle Facilitator,

Dear Girls Circle Facilitator,

Facilitator Journal Entry Examples

Weak Journal Entries Reasons

Thanks for sharing!

Hi Tammy, It is very short. Also, the prompt

Sara, The response is very short. Again, the

Talk to you soon,

Hi Penny, It answers the girls question from

Chloe, It has the facilitator and girl

Below is an example of a Facilitators Welcome Letter:

So you can know me better, here are 3 things about me!

1. [Insert fact about self]

I look forward to meeting you!

[Insert name of facilitator]

Im so happy that I was able to be a part of this Circle! Best wishes!

[Insert name of facilitator]

Just because I am ______________________________________

Just because I am a Girl,

Just Because Poem Examples

Just because I am a Girl, Just because I am a Girl,

-Karen (6th grade)

Be enthusiastic! The girls will not be excited if you arent.

2 Truths and a Lie

Honey, I Love You, But I Just Cant Smile

Would You Rather?

Would you rather?

Weekly Report Sample