The Script

SCENE ONE

(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage)

Announcer: Welcome. Ladies and Gentlemen, you are about to see a story of
murder, greed, corruption, violence, exploitation, adultery, and treachery
all those things we all hold near and dear to our hearts. Thank you.

(The first notes of Overture/ Instrumental sound) 5, 6, 7, 8!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Onyx club is proud to present
Chicagos hottest show in the world.
(All That Jazzs performance sung and danced by Velma Kelly and the
ensemble)

Come on babe
Why dont we paint the town?
And all that Jazz
Im gonna rouge my knees
And roll my stockings down
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the pianos hot
Its just a noisy hall
Where theres a nightly brawl
And all
That
Jazz
[Velma Kelly]
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
Slick your hair
And wear your buckle shoes
And all that Jazz
I hear that Father Dip
Is gonna blow the blues
And all that Jazz
Hold on, hon
Were gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
I case you shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do
that jazz

(The lights start to point also at the left side of the stage. Fred Casely and
Roxie Hart enter to Roxie Harts bedroom.)

Fred: Listen, your husband aint home, is he?

Velma: No, her husband is not at home!

(The song starts again. The lights point just the middle of the stage)

[Velma Kelly]
Find a flask
Were playing fast and loose
And all that jazz
Right up here
Is where I store the juice
And all that jazz
Come on, babe
Were gonna brush the sky
I bet you luck Lindy
Never flew so high
Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear
to all
that
Jazz?
Oh, youre gonna see your sheba shimmy shake
[Company]
And all that jazz
[Velma Kelly]
Oh, shes gonna shimmy till her garters break
[Company]
And all that jazz
[Velma Kelly]
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mothers bloodd curdle
[Company]
If shed hear her babys queer
[Velma Kelly]
For all
that
jazz

[Velma Kelly]
All
that
jazz
Come on, babe
Why Dont we paint
The town?
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
Im gonna *
Rouge my knees
And roll my *
Stockings down
And all that jazz
And all that jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the pianos hot
Its just a noisy hall
Where theres a nightly brawl
And all
that
jazz

(The lights point again the left side of the stage, in Roxie harts bedroom. She
is still with her lover Fred Casely and hes getting dressed. The music sounds
lower and Velma and the dancers stay frozen.)

Roxie Hart: Hey, why the hurry? Amos aint gonna be home until midnight.
Hey, I dont like you to feel like Im nagging or anything. But dont you think
its about time for me to meet your friend down at the Onyx? Its been
a month since you told him about me. Youre not going away, right?
Fred Casely: Its getting late.
Roxie Hart: Ive been thinking a lot about my anthem. And you know
whatve come to me? Have something more different going on, you know?
And once I get a name for myself. Maybe we can open up a club in Varum,
you know? You could run it, and I could be the headliner.
Fred Casely: Get off.
Roxie Hart: Whats the idea?
Fred Casely: Wake up, kiddo, you aint ever gonna have an act. Face it, Roxie.
Youre two big towers with skinny legs. And Im just a furniture salesman.
Roxie Hart: But you got connections. You know, that guy down the club
Fred Casely: Theres no guy.
Roxie Hart: So you never told anyone about me?
Fred Casely: Sugar, youre hot stuff. I would say anything to get a piece of
that. (He laughs) Lets just leave it like that.
Roxie Hart: Fred You cant do this to me.
Fred Casely: You get off! You touch me again, Ill put your lights out.
Roxie Hart: Youre a liar, Fred.
Fred Casely: Oh, yeah, so what? (He turns around to go away)
Roxie Hart: (She takes out a gun) Oh Fred?

All the girls: Oh Fred?

Fred Casely: (Turning around to her) What?

Roxie Hart: Nobody walks on me. (She points at him with the gun)

Fred Casely: But sweetheart.

Roxie Hart: Dont sweetheart me .You son of a bitch (Shot/ The drums
rattle) Son of a bitch! (Shot again/ The drums rattle)

The ensemble: Whoopi hutcha.Jazz

Roxie Hart: Oh. I gotta pee.

(All that jazz continues in the middle of the Stage)

[Velma Kelly]
No, Im no ones wife
But, Oh, I love my life
And all
that
Jazz!
That Jazz!
(Black out)

SCENE 2

(At Roxie harts bedroom. The lights are pointing to the right side of the
stage, the scene crime. Amos Hart, Sergeant Fogarty and Martin Harrison on
stage)
Sergeant Fogarty: Why did you get a murder weapon?
Amos Hart: I keep a gun in the underway drawer. Just in case for trouble, you
know.
Sergeant Fogarty: Thats just fine. Sign right there, Mr. Hart.
Amos Hart: For you, gladly. Really gladly.
Sergeant Fogarty: And mind that you dont say we beat you up when you at
the witness stand.
Amos Hart: No, I give myself up. Surrender at my own free will.
Martin Harrison: Its indeed youre the murderer.
Amos Hart: Shooting a burglar isnt murder. Just last week jury sent a man
Martin Harrison: Im always grateful if the citizens know the law. Okay, from
the top.
Amos Hart: Well, I come home from the garage, I see him climbing through
the window. And my wife Roxie was lying there, sleeping like an angel.
Martin Harrison: Is that true?
Amos Hart: Im telling you, thats the truth. My wife has nothing to do with it.
She wont hurt a worm. Not even a worm. Until I fired the first shot, then she
opened her eyes. She was somehow asleep. I would say she sleeps in charisma
pray.
When I think of what would have happened if I went off for a beer with the
guys instead of coming straight home, it makes me sick even to think about
it
Announcer: For her first number, Ms. Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of
Loving Devotion. Dedicated to her dear husband, Amos.

(My funny honeys performance sung by Roxie Hart. The lights start to
point at the middle of the stage too)

[Roxie]
Sometimes Im right
Sometimes Im wrong
But he doesnt care
Hell String along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
Sometimes Im down
Sometimes Im up
But he follows round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine
He aint no sheik
Thats no great physique
And Lord knows he aint got the smarts
Oh but look at that soul
I tell you the whole
Is a whole lot greater than
The sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know youd agree
What if the world
Slandered my name?
Why hed be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny sunny honey
Hubby of mine
(The music lowers down while the other characters keep acting)

Amos Hart: And suppose if just suppose if he violated her or something.

You know what I mean, violated?
Martin Harrison: I know what you mean.
Amos Hart: Or something. Think how terrible itd have been. Its good thing I
got home
from work on time. Im telling you that.
[Roxie Hart]
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine

Martin Harrison: The name of deceased is Fred Casely.

Amos Hart: Fred Casely? How could he be a burglar? My wife knows him. He
sold us our furniture. He gave us 10% off.

[Roxie Hart]
Lord knows he aint got the smarts

Martin Harrison: You told me he was the burglar?

Amos Hart: Im covering for her. She lied to me. She told me he was
a burglar. And Id say I did it because I was sure to get off. Help me,
Amos. she said, Its my goddamn hour-need.

[Roxie Hart]
Now he shot off his trap
I cant stand that sap

Amos Hart: (He talks to Mister Harrison Roxie sings) And I believed that
cheap little tramp. Shes too smart on me, huh? And I protected her Im on
the garage with my butt 14 hours a day. And shes now promoted to a bon-
bon? And traveling around like some goddamn pussy! I cant take it. And this
time she pushed me too far. I didnt shoot
him. Fool, what a sap I was.

[Roxie Hart]
Look at him go, rattin on me
With just one more brain what a half-wit hed be
If they string me up Ill know who brought the twine
That scummy, crummy, dummy, hubby of mine

(The music ends)

Roxie Hart: You double-crosser! You big bluffer mouth! You promised youd
stay
Amos Hart: Whatre you talking about? Youve been setting me up, Roxie!
You told me it was a burglar!
Roxie Hart: Goddamn it! You are a disloyal husband! Look, its true. I shoot
him. But it was self-defense. He was trying to burgle me.
Martin Harrison: From what I hear, hes been burgled you three times a week
for the last month. Your story doesnt work, Mrs. Hart. So try this emphasize.
Fred Casely was a good time on the side but goofy here is a meal ticket.
Roxie Hart: Meal ticket? He couldnt buy my liquor.
Martin Harrison: And Fred Casely could? With a wife and five little Caselys?
Or he forgot to mention them?
Roxie Hart: What? That bastard! Yes, I killed him. I would kill him again!
Martin Harrison: (To the officer) Once was enough. Take her downtown.
Come on. (The officer takes Roxie from her arms)
Martin Harrison: Take it while you can. The case is down. District attorney
Harrison says this is a hanging case.
Roxie Hart: Hanging?
Martin Harrison: Im ready to go to the jury tomorrow. Not so confident
anymore, are you? Take her to the Cooke County Jail.

(Black out)

SCENE 3
(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the
County Jail. Six Cells from above go down to the stage)

[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!

Announcer: And now, the six merry murderers from the Cooke county jail in
their rendition of The Cell-block Tango.

(Cell- block tangos performance sung and danced by the murderesses)

[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[All Murderesss]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If youd have been there
If youd have seen it
[Velma]
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[Liz]
Pop.

[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[All Murderesss]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If youd have been there
If youd have seen it
[Velma]
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Liz]
Pop.
[Annie]
Six.
[June]
Squish.
[Hunyak]
Uh-Uh.
[Velma]
Cicero.
[Mona]
Lipschitz!
[Liz, girls]
You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. Pop. So, I came home this one day
and
I am really irritated, and looking for a little sympathy and theres Bernie
layin on the couch, drinkin a beer and chewin. No, not chewin. Popin. So,
I said to him, I said, Bernie, you pop that gum one more time
And he did!
So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots
into his head.
[All Murderesss]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame.
If youd have been there
If youd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

[Annie]
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago and he told me
he
was single and we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. Hed
go to work, hed come home, Id mix Him a drink, wed have dinner.
And then I found out, Single he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he
married. oh, no, he had six wives. One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night when he came home from work. I mixed him his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just cant hold their arsenic!
[All without Annie]
Hah! He had it coming / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,
He had it coming / Cicero, Lipschitz!
He took a flower
In its prime
And the he used it / Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-Uh,
And he abused it / Cicero, Lipschitz!
It was a murder
But not a crime!
[June]
Now, Im standing in the kitchen carvin up the chicken for dinner, minding
my
own business, and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. You been
screwin the milkman, he says. He was crazy and he kept on screamin You
been screwin the milkman, And then he ran into my knife! He ran into my
knife TEN TIMES!

[All Murderesss]
If youd have been there
If youd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
[Hunyak]
Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet
en meg
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok. Nem tudom
mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tetten. Probaltam a rendorsegen
megmagyarazni de nem
ertettek meg
[All Murderesss]
Yeah, but did you do it?
[Hunyak]
UH UH, not guilty!
[Velma]
My sister, Veronica, and I had this double act and my husband,
Charlie,
traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act, we
did these 20
acrobatic tricks in a row, one, two, three, four, five Splits, spread
eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. Well, this
one
night before the show we are in a hotel Cicero, the three of us,
sittin up
in a hotel room, boozin and havin a few laughs and we ran out of
ice, so I
went out to get some. I come back, open the door And theres
Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen -the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out. I
cant
remember a thing. It wasnt until later, when I was washing the
blood off my
hands I even knew they were dead.
[Velma, Girls]
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along.
I didnt do it/ She does not do it
But if Id done it (shed done it)
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming
They took a flower
All along
In its prime
I didnt do it
And then they used it
But if Id done it
And they abused it
How could you tell me
It was a murder
That I was wrong? / But not a crime!
[Mona]
I love Alvin Lipschitz More than I can possibly say. He was a real
artistic
guy Sensitivea painter. He was always trying to find himself.
Hed go
out every night looking for himself and along the way he found
Ruth, Gladys,
Rosemary and Irving.
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences. He
saw
himself as alive and I saw him dead.
[All Murderesss]
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
[All without Mona]
They had it comin
They had it comin
They had it comin
They had it comin
They had it comin
They had it comin
All along
All along
Cause if they used us
Cause if they used us
And they abused us
And they abused us
How could you tell us
How could you tell us
That we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
[Velma, June, Hunyak]
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If youd have been there
If youd have seen it
I betcha
You would
Have done
The same!
(Black out)
SCENE 4

(The lights point at the middle of the stage. It is the County Jail)
Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen. The keeper of the keys, the
countess of the clink, the mistress of murderers row. Matron Mama Morton!

Mama Morton: Welcome, ladies.

(When you are good to Mamas performance sung and danced by Mama)

[Mama Morton]
Ask any of the chickies in my pen
Theyll tell you Im the biggest mother hen
I love em all and all of them love me
Because the system works
The system called reciprocity
Got a little motto
Always sees me through
When youre good to Mama
Mamas good to you.
Theres a lot of favors
Im prepared to do
You do one for Mama
Shell do one for you.
They say that life is tit for tat
And thats the way I live
So, I deserve a lot of tat
For what Ive got to give
Dont you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When youre good to Mama
Mamas good to you!

(Roxie appears from the left side of the stage)

Mama Morton: You must be Hart. Youre a pretty one.
Roxie Hart: Thank you, maam.
Mama Morton: Why dont you call me Mama? I can take care of you. Youd be
happy taken down in these block. Murderers Row, we called it.
Roxie Hart: Oh, is it nice? I dont think Im really belonging here. I didnt
actually do anything wrong.
Mama Morton: Dont need to tell me, honey. Ive never heard of a man
getting killed. When you get used to just come to talk.
Velma Kelly: Hey, mama. Come here.
Roxie Hart: Velma Kelly? Youre the Velma Kelly? You know I was there that
night? I was there the night that you got arrested.
Velma Kelly: Yeah, youre a half of Chicago. Now, Go away Blondie. (Roxie
goes away at the right side of the stage) Look at this, Mama. Another story
of announcing me in Redbook magazine. The newspapers call me the Crime
of the year. And they say: Not in memory do we recall so finishing horrible in
double homicide.
Mama Morton: Maybe you couldnt buy that kind of publicity.
Velma Kelly: Couldnt buy it? I guess I can keep these then. (She gives mama
the money)

Mama Morton: Ah. You took care of mama and I took care of you. I talked to
Billy Flynn. Now, Billy Flynn set a travel on March 5th. March 7th, you would
be quit. On March 8th, you know what Mama gonna do for you? Mama gonna
put you back on the Vaudeville two.
Velma Kelly: Ive been a lot in Vaudeville two. What kind of dough are we
talking about?
Mama Morton: Well, I can talk to the boys over at William Morris. With your
recent sensational activity, they seem to be thinking of giving you $2,500.
Velma Kelly: $2,500? The most me and Veronica made is 35,000.
Mama Morton: Yeah, that was before of the cicero and Billy Flynn and Mama.
Velma Kelly: You know what, Mama? I always wanted to play in big Gym
Conesus most. Do you think you can get me that?
Mama Morton: The Gyms? I dont know. Thats another story. Its gonna take
you another phone call.
Velma Kelly: How much is that phone call gonna cost?
Mama Morton: Come on, Velma. I care about you. Youre like family to me.
Youre like one of my own. Ill do it for 50 bucks.
Velma Kelly: 50 bucks for a phone call? You mustve got a lot of wrong
numbers, Mama.

(Velma exeunts. The song continues)

If you want my gravy

Pepper my ragout
Spice it up for Mama
Shell get hot for you
When they pass that basket
Folk contribute to
You put in for Mama
Shell put out for you
The folks atop the ladder
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, Kid
And Ill boost you up yours
Lets all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew
When youre strokin Mama
Mamas strokin you
So whats the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When youre good to Mama
Mamas good to you!

(Black out)

SCENE 5
(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage, Mama is sitting on a chair
in front of a table. It seems to be her desk. The murderesses wait in line to
talk to Mama)
Liz and June: Mama, please we need to make a phone call?

Mama: Ok, Ladies, you know how much it costs.

Liz: 50?

Mama: Are you kidding me?

June: 100?

Mama: Now, were talking. Who the hell do you want to talk to?

Liz and June: Our dear husbands.

Mama: I see. What a pity for you! Because they are fucking dead.

June: Oh god, we forgot.

Mama: Please, go away before I kill you, you jerk. (They go away) Miss
Hunyak?

Hunyak: Not Guilty!

Mama: Yeah Honey, you can say that during the whole play and nobody will
believe that. (To Roxie) Is the only thing she can say! (Hunyak goes away. To
Roxie) And you sweetheart, what do you want?

Roxie Hart: No, I just bring this for Miss Kelly (Velma appears form the right
side of the stage, reading the newspaper) Oh, there she is! (She goes to
Velma) Oh, Miss Kelly. Thats your personals. (She gives Velma her
underwear) Its my pleasure. Hey, listen. Can l ask you something? You know
that Harrison guy? He said that what Ive done is a hanging case and hes
prepared to ask for the maximum penalty.
Velma Kelly: Yeah? So?
Roxie Hart: So, Im scared. Id surely appreciate some advice, especially from
someone I admire as much as you. Since I can remember, I have wanted to be
on the stage.
Velma Kelly: Really? Whats your talent? Washing and drying?
Roxie Hart: No. I dance in the chorus. That was before I met my husband
Velma Kelly: Look, honey, you want some advice? Here it is, direct from me
to you. Keep your paws off my underwear, okay?
Roxie Hart: Yeah, okay. Thanks for nothing. (Velma sits down on Mamas
desk and reads the newspaper)
Mama Morton: Shes so nice, isnt she? Roxie, relax. In this town, murder is a
formal entertainment. Besides, in 47 years Cooke County has never hung a
woman yet. So even if its 47 and 1, they wont hang you. Id like to help you,
baby. So, tell me Roxie, what are you gonna tell the jury?
Roxie Hart: I guess.I will tell the truth.

Mama Morton: The truth?

Velma Kelly: To tell the truth is really stupid.
Roxie Hart: Jesus, Mary, Joseph. What I m gonna do?

Velma Kelly: Maybe you are talking to the wrong people.

Mama Morton: You see. Murder is like a divorce, the reason doesnt counts, is
the grounds, what is your circumstance in self-defense.

Roxie Hart: Yeah (To Velma) what is your ground?

Velma Kelly: My ground is that I didnt do it.

Roxie Hart: So, who did?

Velma Kelly: Well, for sure I dont know. I was completely black out. I cant
remember a thing, only thing Im sure is that I didnt do it. I have the best
ground in the world! Right, mama?

Mama Morton: You wish!

Roxie Hart: How can I get a good ground?

Velma Kelly: (She stands up) Ask your lawyer.

Roxie Hart: I dont have a lawyer.

Velma Kelly: Well, as they say, you have a lot of shit above, my dear (She goes
away)

Mama Morton: What you really need, is Billy Flynn.

Roxie Hart: Who?
Mama Morton: Billy Flynn. The best criminal lawyer in all Illinois, Chicago.
Roxie Hart: How do I get in touch with this Billy Flynn?
Mama Morton: Not by prayer, dear. First, you give me a hundred dollars.
Then Ill make a phone call.
Roxie Hart: A hundred dollars? And how much does he get?
Mama Morton: Five thousand dollars.

Roxie Hart: Five thousand dollars?

Mama Morton: Hes never lost a case for a female client yet. Every girl in this
place would kill to have Billy Flynn representing them. (She laughs and goes
away)

Roxie Hart: So, how can I get 5 thousand dollars? How can I get 5 thousand
dollars? Think Roxie ah, I know. AMOS.
(Black out)

SCENE 6

(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage which is empty and at the
left side of the stage we can see Billy Flynns office in darkness. All I care
about is love performance sung and danced by Billy and the female
ensemble)
[Girls]
We want Billy
Give us
B. I. Double L.Y.
Were all his
Hes our kind of a guy
And ooh what luck
Cause here he is

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the silver tongue, prince of the
courtroom, the one and only Billy Flynn!

[Billy Flynn, girls]

I dont care about expensive things
Cashmere coats, or diamond rings
Dont mean a thing
All I care about is love
Thats what Im here for
I dont care for wearin silk cravats
Ruby studs, satin spats
Dont mean a thing
All I care about is love
All he cares about is love
Give me two
Eyes of blue
Softly saying
I need you
Let me see her standin there
And honest, mister, Im a millionaire
I dont care for any fine attire
Vanderbilt might admire
No, no, not me
All I care about is love
All he cares about is love
[Girls]
Thats what hes here for
[Billy Flynn, girls]
All he cares about is love
Show me long Raven hair
Flowin down, about to there
When I ve seen
Her runnin free
Keep your money, thats enough for me
I dont care for drivin Packard cars
Or smoking Long Buck Cigars
No, no, not me
All I care about is
Doin the guy in
Whos pickin, on you
Twistin the wrist
Thats turnin the screw
All I care about
is love!

(Black out. The lights go light blue. They are pointing at the left side of the
stage. There is Billy Flynns office)
Billy Flynn: Hello, Andy.
Amos Hart: Amos, my name is Amos.
Billy Flynn: Thats right. Take a seat. You know, youre a remarkable man.
Your wife used you twice and youre sticking by her. Actually youre a hero in
my eyes.
Amos Hart: Thats right. Im a hero.
Billy Flynn: Did you bring the rest of the five thousand dollars?

Amos Hart: Plus this 300 I borrow from the guy down at the garage, and the
700 from the building in Long Fund.
Billy Flynn: Thats $2,000.
Amos Hart: And thats all I got so far. But Id give you $20 of my salary every
week. Id give you a note with interest. Double, triple, until every cent is paid,
I promise.
Billy Flynn: You are a liar. You came to me yesterday. I didnt ask you if shes
guilty. I didnt ask if shes innocent. I didnt ask you if shes drunk, or a dope,
no! All I said was, do you have $5,000? You said yes! But you dont have
$5,000! So I figure youre a dirty liar and I dont waste my time with dirty
liars.
Amos Hart: Look Im really sorry, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: On the other hand, your devotion to your wife is really very
touching. Ill take your wifes case. And Ill keep it. Because I play square.
Now look, I dont like to blow my own horn. But believe me. If Jesus Christ
lived in Chicago today and if he had $5,000 and he came to me, things would
have turn out differently. All right, this is what we gonna do. For tomorrow
morning, Im gonna have Roxies name at the front page of every newspapers
in town. Sweetest little Jazz killer in Chicago. Thats the angle Im after. You
make an announcement, were gonna have an auction. Tell them we gotta
raise some money for the defense. Theyll buy everything that she touches.
Everything. Her shoes, her dresses, her perfumes, her underwear.
Amos Hart: Underwear?

Billy Flynn: Yeah, so then we can make the rest of the five thousand dollars. I
would say, I will give you the 20% of everything we make over that. Thats
what I call play square!

Amos Hart: I dont know Mister Flynn.

Billy Flynn: I would say that you dont have any choice; at least you give me
the rest of the five thousand dollars.

(Black out)

SCENE 7
(The lights point at the middle of the stage. There is Roxie in a chair talking
with Billy Flynn)
Billy Flynn: Ok, Roxie, in a few minutes its gonna be a big press conference
here. There will be a big bunch of photographers and reporters. I dont figure
why we would have any problem with them. So first thing we gotta do is work
up some sympathy from the press. And Ill push you like some Mary
Sunshine. Chicago is a tough town. Its getting so tough, that they shoot the
girls right after their audience. (He laughs) But, theres one thing they cant
resist. And that is a reformed sinner. So I decided to rewrite the story of your
life. From Convent to jail.
Roxie Hart: What?

Billy Flynn: Follow me. Who do you wanted to be? A nun.

Roxie Hart: A nun?

Billy Flynn: When were you born?
Roxie Hart: On a chicken farm outside Lopac.
Billy Flynn: Beautiful setting home, feel every luxury in refinement. Wherere
your parents now?
Roxie Hart: Probably on front porch in their rocking chair
Billy Flynn: Theyre dead. Family fortune swept away. Youre educated as a
sacred heart. Then you fell into a runaway marriage. Left you miserable,
alone, unhappy. Of course you got all swept up in a mad world, the city. Jazz,
cabarets, liquors.Youre drawn like a moth to the flame.
Roxie Hart: A moth?
Billy Flynn: Now I am the man who will assist you and youre a butterfly.
Crushed on a wheel!
Roxie Hart: Wait, what did you say? Is it the moth or the butterfly?
Billy Flynn: You have sin in your soul and you are sorry.
Roxie Hart: God, thats beautiful.

Billy Flynn: So, when they ask you why you killed him. The only thing you can
remember is that he threatened to kill you, you can still see him coming with
his awful look in his eyes and, get this, you both reached for the gun, thats
your ground. (The press appears on the stage)
Billy Flynn: Thank you, gentlemen. Miss Sunshine. My client just entered
pleads of not guilty. We look forward to the trial in the earliest possible dates.
Now is there any question? Miss Sunshine.
Mary Sunshine: As you know, my paper is dry. Do you have any advice for
young girls, speaking to avoid the life of Jazz and drink?
Billy Flynn: Absolutely yes. Mrs. Hart feels that it was the tragic combination
of liquor and Jazz, which lead to the downfall. Next question, please.
Roxie Hart: Ladies and gentlemen, Id just like to say how flattered I am that
you all came to see me. You see, I was a moth crushed on a wheel. You
know, butterfly drawn to the I bet you want to know why I shot the bastard.
Billy Flynn: Shut up, dummy.
Announcer: Mr. Billy Flynn in the press conference. Notice how mouth never
moves almost.
(We both reach for the guns performance sung and danced by Billy,
Roxie, Miss Sunshine and ensemble)
[Reporter]
Whered you come from?
[Billy Flynn]
Mississippi
[Reporter]
And your parents?
[Billy Flynn]
Very wealthy.
[Reporter]
Where are they now?
[Billy Flynn]
Six feet under.
But she was granted one more start
The convent of The Sacred Heart!
[Reporter]
Whend you get here?
Billy Flynn]
1920
[Reporter]
How old were you?
[Billy Flynn]
Dont remember
[Reporter]
Then what happened?
[Billy Flynn]
I met Amos
And he stole my heart away
Convinced me to elope one day
[Mary Sunshine]
Oh, poor girl, I cant believe what youve been through. A convent
girl, a
runaway marriage. Now tell us Roxie.
Whos Fred Casely?
[Billy Flynn]
My ex-boyfriend.
[Reporter]
Whyd you shoot him?
[Billy Flynn]
I was leavin.
[Reporter]
Was he angry?
[Billy Flynn]
Like a madman
Still I said, Fred, move along.
She knew that she was doin wrong.
[Reporter]
Then describe it.
[Billy Flynn]
He came toward me.
[Reporter]
With a pistol?
[Billy Flynn]
From my bureau.
[Reporter]
Did you fight him?
[Billy Flynn]
Like a tiger.
He had strength and she had none.
And yet we both reached for the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both
Oh yes we both
Oh yes, we both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
[All]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
for the gun.
[Billy Flynn]
understandable. understandable
Yes, its perfectly understandable
Comprehensible. Comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
Its so defensible!
[Reporter]
Howre you feeling?
[Billy Flynn]
Very frightened
[Mary Sunshine]
Are you sorry?
[Roxie Hart]
Are you kidding?
[Reporter]
Whats your statement?
[Billy Flynn]
All Id say is
Though my choo-choo jumped the track
Id give my life to bring him back
[Reporters]
And?
[Billy Flynn]
Stay away from
[Reporters]
What?
[Billy Flynn]
Jazz and liquor

[Reporters]
And?
[Billy Flynn]
And the men who
[Reporters]
What?
[Billy Flynn]
Play for fun
[Reporters]
And what?
[Billy Flynn]
Thats the thought that
[Reporters]
Yeah
[Billy Flynn]
Came upon me
[Reporters]
When?
[Billy Flynn]
When we both reached for the gun!
[Billy Flynn and Mary Sunshine]
Understandable, understandable
Yes, its perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
Its so defensible!
[Reporters]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
[Billy Flynn]
Let me hear it!
[Reporters]
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun
For the gun
[Billy Flinn]
A little louder!
[Reporters]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached
 Oh, yeah
For the gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes. They both reached
For the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,the gun
[Billy Flynn]
Both reached for thegun
(Black out)

SCENE 8

(The lights are yellow. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. There are
two reporters and Miss Sunshine announcing the news to the audience)
Reporter 1: The windy city has taken a new criminal to a charge. Let me
remind you the name is Roxie Hart.

Reporter 2: The sweetest lady ever accused of murder in Chicago. Women

want to look like her. Fellows want to go out with her. Some little girls even
want to take her home. Dont get any idea, little lady.

Miss Sunshine: At the scene of the crime, everybody wants a little piece of
Roxie Hart. The jar would send her husband back 20 dollars! It seems
everybody these days is looking for Roxie Hart. (They go away. Mamas desk,
in the middle of the stage, Mama and Roxie with a bouquet)
Mama Morton: So, kiddo, you have any thought what you wanna do after
Billy get you off?
Roxie Hart: Yeah, I think Id like to go on stage.
Mama Morton: I figure it as much. I already called the Morris office.
Roxie Hart: Really? How much is that gonna cost me?
Mama Morton: Its a fairly deal. 10% of all your takings.
Roxie Hart: Yeah, well see, Mama. Besides, I dont even have an act yet.
Mama Morton: Killing Fred Casely was your act. That solo steps in the
audience. That song is my favorite.
Roxie Hart: Its a freak act. Besides, Im better than that.
Mama Morton: Of course you are. I mean, you can be as big as Sophie Tago.
Just think about that.

(Mama goes away and Roxie goes to proscenium and starts to talk with the
audience. The music sounds lower).
Roxie Hart: You know, I always wanted to have my name on the papers.
Before I met Amos, I used to date this wealthy dude, ugly bootlegger. He used
to take me out and show me off. Ugly guys like to do that. Once it said in the
paper, gangland is seen with cute blonde. That was me. You know, all my life
I wanted to have my own act. But, no, they always turned me down. One big
world-full of no. And then Amos came along. Save sweet Amos. Who never
says no. Ive never done this before. But its such a special night. And you are
such a great audience! And I really feel like I can talk to you, you know? So
forget what you read in the papers and on the radio. Because because Im
gonna tell you the truth. In the bed apartment, Amos was zero. I mean,
when he made love to me, it goes like he was fixing a carburetor or
something. I love you, honey Anyway, I start to fool around. And I start
screwing around. Then I met Fred Casely. He said he could get me into a film.
But that didnt quite work out like I planned. So I gave up the whole idea. If
you cant figure out all of these, opportunities just pass you by. But now, with
all these publicity, I got me a world full of yes!

(Roxies performance sung and danced by Roxie and the male ensemble)
The name on everybodys lips
Is gonna be
Roxie
The lady rakin in the chips
Is gonna be
Roxie
Im gonna be a celebrity
That means somebody everyone knows
Theyre gonna recognize my eyes
My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose
From just some dumb mechanics wife
Im gonna be
Roxie
Who says that murders not an art?
And who in case she doesnt hang
can say she started with a bang?
Roxie Hart!

Boys

[Roxie Hart and company]

Theyre gonna wait outside in line
To get to see
Roxie
Think of those autographs Ill sign
Good luck to you,
Roxie
And Ill appear in Lavaliere
That goes all the way down to my waist
Here a ring, there a ring
Everywhere a ring a ling
But always in the best of taste
[Roxie Hart (recitative whisper)]
Oooh Im a star.
And the audience loves me.
And I love the audience and they love me
for loving them. And I love them for loving me.
And we jus to love each other.
Thats because none of us got any love in our childhood.
And thats show biz,

Kid.

[Roxie Hart and comapny]

Shes giving up here humdrum life
Im gonna be
Roxie.
She made a scandal and a start.
And Sophie Tucker will shit, I know
To see her name get billed below
Roxie Hart!
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy
Roxy

Roxie: (To the audience) Those are my boys

(Black out)

SCENE 9
(The lights are pointing at the middle of the stage. Mama is with the
murderesses, everyone is reading the newspaper)

Mona: Look at this mama! The newspaper says Roxie Rocks Chicago.

Annie: Yeah? This one also says Roxies night is registered in two hundred
bucks.

(Velma appears on stage)

Velma Kelly: I just cant take it anymore. Mama Im not a jealous person.

June: No, sure you are not.

Velma Kelly: Oh shut up! The thing is that I cant go anywhere without
hearing about that dumb tomato and not be nervous.
Mama Morton: Ive got some bad news, kid. Tell her (To the murderesses)

Everyone: The tour has been cancelled.

Velma Kelly: What?
Liz: Your name is out of the paper too long.

Mama Morton: What we read about today its the Hart kid.

Annie: Shes hot. (Everyone looks at her) What? She is.

Velma Kelly: And what am I supposed to do? Suck up to her like everybody
else?
Mama Morton: It couldnt hurt. Come on Ladies. You have to come back to
the cell. (The murderesses and Mama go away. Velma stays alone until Roxie
comes alone).
Velma Kelly: Hey Miss Roxie, do you know what I realized today?

Roxie Hart: I have no idea and I really dont care Miss Kelly. (She continues
walking)
Velma Kelly: But (She holds Roxie) Let me tell you, youre exactly same size
as my sister. I mean, you fit into her costumes perfectly.
Roxie Hart: (Ironic) Really?
Velma Kelly: Yeah, and Im just thinking, you know, with all the publicity
piled up between us when Billy gets us off, it would be natural to do an act
together.
Roxie Hart: You think so?
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelly in Act of Desperation.

(I cant do it alones performance, danced and sung by Velma Kelly)

My sister and I had an act that couldnt flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I earned a thou a week at least
Oh, yeah!
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased
Oh, I know its sad, of course
But a fact
is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect
double
act!
Watch this.
They have to match it with 2 people.
Its just all two people.
First Id
Then shed
Then wed
But I cant do it alone!
Then shed
Then Id
Then we
But I cant do it alone!
Shed say, Whats your sister like?
Id say, Men,
Shed say, youre the cats meow
Then wed wow the crowd again
When shed go
Id go
Wed go
And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more.
And wed say, O.K. fellas, keep your socks up.
you aint seen nothin yet!
But I simply cannot do it
alone!

Velma Kelly: So what do you think?

Roxie: Oh, I cant say.

Velma Kelly: Come on, you can say.

Roxie Hart: Pfrrrrrr!!!
Velma Kelly: I know youre right. The first part is shit. But the second part
Second part is really nifty.

(The song continues)

Then shed(See, get it, right?)
Then Id(Then I kick really high)
Then wed
But I cant do it alone!
Shed say, What states Chicago in?
Id say, ILL!
Did ya get that?
Shed say, turn your motor off!
I can hear em cheerin still
Ok, When shed go
Id go
Wed go
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down
And wed say. Okay, boys
were goin home, but before we go heres a few more partin
shots!
And this
this we did in perfect unison.
Now, youve seen me goin through it
It may seem theres nothin to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone! (The song finishes)

Roxie Hart: Dont bother. You think youre fooling me? Youre all washed up.
And its me they want now, and Im a big star. Single. Its nothing personal.
Oh, I almost forgot. Youre in the paper today too. On the back. (She goes
away)

Velma: Sure nothing personal. (The band plays the reprise while Velma
sings it)

Like the deserted bride on her wedding night

All alone and shaking with fright
With her brand new hubby nowhere in sight
I simply cannot do it alone

(Black out)

SCENE 10
(The lights are purple. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the
County Jail. At midnight)
Announcer: And now, for all you Chicagos stay-up-laters. Night hours would
only come
alive at the dark. We dedicate this tune. Chicago After Midnight. (The band
plays a very sweet melody. Mama Morton appears)

Mama Morton: (To the audience) Theyd just arrest this woman Miss Baxter
for triple homicide. Get this. Shes an Aries! And her family is in the
pineapple or grapefruit, some kind of fruits.
(Miss Baxter, a new murderess, appears in the middle of the stage)
Miss Baxter: On the north side, I met Harry. (To the audience) What Harry
does for a living, no ones quite sure. But it doesnt really matter because Im
paying all the bills. Anyhow, I, the Kitty got home that night. Harry was
already at bed. I went to change my clothes. When I returned, I noticed
something rather odd, extremely odd. There were other women in the
apartment. I disappeared for a second. When I returned, I gently woke up
Harry. Harry says, What? Im alone!. Alone? I said, You have two other
women in bed with you!. And Harry said, Come on, darling, you gonna
believe what you see or what I tell you? and I replied What I see. (She does
the mimic as if she had a gun and the drums make the sound of three
shotguns. Black out)

SCENE 11
(The lights are yellow. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. Is the
County Jail. There is Billy with Miss Baxter surrounded by reporters, Miss
Sunshine and Mama)
Mary Sunshine: Miss Baxter, Miss Baxter! Mary Sunshine from The Evening
Star. Would you mind saying a word or two?
Miss Baxter: Sure Ill say things. Go to hell!
Billy Flynn: Please direct your question to the counsel.
Miss Baxter: Tell the counsel I want my money back!
Mary Sunshine: Are you sorry, dear?
Miss Baxter: Yeah, Im sorry that I got caught.

Reporter: Miss Baxter, did you know these two ladies personally?
Miss Baxter: Did I know these two ladies personally? Was that your question?
Reporter: Yeah, thats my (Miss Baxter kicks the reporter)
Mama Morton: Shes very hot spirit, isnt she? Miss Baxter (From the right
side of the stage appear Roxie and Velma)
Roxie Hart: Hey, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: Yeah, hi, Tracy.
Roxie Hart: Its Roxie.
Billy Flynn: Yeah, sure, Im just kidding.
Roxie Hart: Did you get my trial date yet? Im on top of your list, right?
Miss Baxter: (To the press) Go to hell!
Billy Flynn: What a nightmare, huh? And social-like too. Her mother owns all
the pineapples in Hawaii. All right Thats all for the questions. And lll be
happy to get back to you myself.
Roxie Hart: Billy
Velma Kelly: How does it feel, kid? Pretty soon we couldnt find your name in
the papers.
Roxie Hart: Mr. Flynn? (She passes out)

Mary Sunshine: Oh, my god. Roxie! What is it to you?

Roxie Hart: Oh, no. Dont worry about me. I only hope the fall didnt hurt the
baby.
Everyone: Baby?
Velma Kelly: Shit!
Billy Flynn: Well, well need a doctor to swear that statement in court.
Roxie Hart: I would just like to say (to the reporters) that my own life doesnt
matter now. Its just that of my unborn child.

(Me and My babys performance sung and danced by Roxie and the
ensemble)

Roxie:
Me and my baby
My baby and me
Were bout as happy
As babies can be
What if I find
That Im caught in a storm?
I dont care
My babys there
And babys bound to keep me warm
Were sticking together
And aint we got fun
So much together
Youd count us as one
Tell old man, worry, to go climb a tree
Cause Ive got my baby
My sweet little baby
Look at my baby and me
(The song starts to lower down. And Mary Sunshine, then Billy and then
Amos appear)

Mary Sunshine: I dont see how you could possibly delay the trial
another second, Mr. Flynn. My readers wouldnt stand for it. The poor child!
To have her baby born in a jail!
Billy: I can assure you shell come to trial at the earliest possible
moment. And you can quote me on that.
Amos: Hey, everybody. Im the father! Im the father! Roxie, honey! Its me,
its daddy! Roxie.
(The songs continues)
All:
Yuk! Yuk! Yuk! Yuk!

Roxie:
Look at my baby
My baby and me
A dream of a duo
Now, dont you agree?
Why keep it mum
When theres nothing to hide?
And what I feel
I must reveal
Is more than I can keep inside
Let me assure you
It wont go away
I can assure you
It grows every day
I was a one once
But now Im a we
Cause I got my baby
My dear little baby
Look at my baby and me
(The song starts to be lower. Mama, then Billy and then Amos appear).

Mama Matron: I think its sweet. First time we ever had one of our girls
knocked up.
Billy: Ive got it and its brilliant. Im gonna get Amos to divorce you. That way
all the sympathy will go to you not him. Youll be the poor, little deserted
mother-to-be and that crumb is running out on you.
Amos: Thats my kid! Thats my kid!

(The song continues)

Roxie and Boys:
Looka my baby
My baby and me
Facing the world
Optimistically
Nothing can stop us
So nobody try
Cause babys rough
And full of stuff
And incidentally, so am I!
(Baby dance break.)
Get out of our way, folks
And give us some room
Watch how we bubble
And blossom and bloom
Life was a prison
But we got the key
Me and my baby
My dear little baby
My cute little baby
My sweet little baby
My fat little baby
My soft little baby
My pink little baby
My bald little baby
Looka, my baby and me

(Everyone goes away and Amos stay alone in the middle of the stage)

SCENE 12

(The lights continue like the last scene. There is just Amos on stage)
Amos: Im the father! Papa! Dada! Did you hear me? Did you? (To the band)
No, you didnt hear me. (To the audience) Thats the story of my life. Nobody
ever knows Im around. Nobody. Not even my parents noticed me. One day I
went to school and when I came home, they moved.

(Mister cellophanes performance. Sung and danced by Amos and

ensemble)

If someone stood up in a crowd

And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
Youd notice him
If someone in the movie show
Yelled Fire in the second row
This whole place is a powder keg!
Youd notice him
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know Im there
I tell you
Cellophane
Mister
Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister
Cellophane
Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know Im there
(The music lowers down. Billy appears from the right side)

Billy Flynn: Oh, l didnt see you. Look, Andy.

Amos Hart: Amos, my name is Amos.
Billy Flynn: Who says it wasnt? It was the kids name I was thinking about.
You know when she is due? September. Youd pass out those cigars anyway. I
dont want you to give a damn on the people.
Amos Hart: People what?
Billy Flynn: Laugh.
Amos Hart: Laugh? Why would they laugh?
Billy Flynn: They can count. September. In the first copy of Roxies statement
from D.A. office she said she hasnt copulated with you for four months prior
the incidents.
Amos Hart: She would know. Yeah, I guess weve done no copulating since
Wait a minute. That doesnt figure out right. I couldnt be the father.
Billy Flynn: Well, forget about that. My client needs your support.
Amos Hart: You mean she needs a meal ticket? Thats all Ive ever been. This
time shes gone too far.
Billy Flynn: What you gonna do? Divorce her?
Amos Hart: Youre damn right! Ill divorce her! She probably wont even
notice.
Billy Flynn: Yeah. Im sorry.

(The song continues)

[Amos Hart]
A human beings made of more than air
With all that bulk, youre bound to see him there
Unless that human bein next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You
Know
who
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know Im there
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know Im there
Never even know Im there.

Amos Hart: (To the audience) I hope I didnt take up too much of your time.

(Black out)

SCENE 13

(The lights are purple. It is the Count Jail. There is Billy with Roxie)

Billy Flynn: Ive been waiting for you 10 minutes. Dont do that again. So, I
get Amos finally firm for the divorce and now I can get him on the stand
admitting that he has done a terrible mistake and that he still loves you. And
of course, you still love him. And now the jury will fall in love all over
themselves and they will play cupid to make you back together again. Smart,
huh? And when Amos is on the stand, I want you to do knitting. A baby
garment.
Roxie Hart: Knitting? For Christs sake, I dont know how to knit!
Billy Flynn: Then learn.
Roxie Hart: Im sick of everybody telling me what to do. And you treat me like
some dump, common criminal.
Billy Flynn: But youre some dump, common criminal.
Roxie Hart: Well, its better than be a greasy-mite lawyer.
Billy Flynn: Who is up to be saving your ass or maybe youd like to appeal on
court without me.
Roxie Hart: Maybe I could. Have you read the morning papers? They love me.
Billy Flynn: There might be a lot more when you hang. You know why?
Because it sells more papers.
Roxie Hart: Youre fired.
Billy Flynn: I quit.
Roxie Hart: Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case.
Billy Flynn: Youre a phony celebrity. Youre a flash. In a couple of weeks, no
one would give a shit about you. Thats Chicago.

(Black out)

SCENE 14

(The lights are red. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the
County Jail. There are all the murderesses and Mama. Some officers are
taking Hunyak from her arms, she is going to be executed)
Hunyak: (Screams to everyone) No! Not guilty! (Mama kisses her on the
forehead)
Roxie Hart: What happened?
Mona: Its Hunyak. She lost the last appeal.
Roxie Hart: So what does that mean?
Velma Kelly: What that means? Next week, shes gonna be executed.
Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your pleasure and your
entertainment, we
proudly present Katelin Helinsky and her famous Hungarian Disappearing
Act. (The drums start to sound and Hunyak makes the Deaths dance until
she falls dead on the floor. Then the officers take her by her arms and cover
her with a red blanket)

Mary Sunshine: This is Mary Sunshine, coming to you from the Cooke County
Jail, where history has been made today. Katelin Helinsky became the first
woman in the state of Illinois to be executed. Her last words were Not
Guilty!.

(Black out)

SCENE 15

(The lights are yellow. They are pointing at the middle of the stage where
Roxie and Billy are)

Roxie Hart: Im sorry Billy. I will do whatever you say.

Billy Flynn: Youre clear with everything you have to do on the stand?
Roxie Hart: Yes. Ive been up all night rehearsing.
Billy Flynn: What do you do when Harrison comes after you?
Roxie Hart: I sit still and look straight ahead. Never look the jury and look
modest.
Billy Flynn: And say nothing. That was the deal. You ask me back, I do all the
talking and stuff.
Roxie Hart: Absolutely, Billy.

Billy Flynn: Good. Are you ready?

Roxie Hart: Yeah. BillyIm scared.
Billy Flynn: Dont be. Ive been around a long time. Believe me, youve got
nothing to worry about. Its all a circus. A three-ring circus. The trial, the
whole world its all show business. Kid, you are working with a star.

(Razzle Dazzles performance sung and danced by Billy and the ensemble)
Give em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle em
Give em act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give em the old hocus pocus
Bread and feather em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, youre just disgusting ?
Razzle dazzle em
And theyll never catch wise!
Eh Eh Eh Eh
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Give em the old razzle dazzle
Billy and Company:
Razzle dazzle em
Give em a show thats so splendiferous
Billy:
Row after row will grow vociferous
Billy and Company:
Give em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture em
Billy:
How can they hear the truth above the roar?
Billy and Company:
Throw em a fake and a finagle
Theyll never know youre just a bagel,
Billy:
Razzle dazzle em
And theyll beg you for more!
Billy and Company:
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Give em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler
Give em the old three ring circus
Stun and stagger em
When youre in trouble, go into your dance
Though you are stiffer than a girder
They let ya get away with a murder
Razzle dazzle em
And youve got a romance
Give em the old
Razzle dazzle
Billy:
Razzle dazzle em
Give em an act thats unassailable
Theyll wait a year til your available!
Billy and Company:
Give em the old
Double whammy
Billy:
Daze and dizzy em
Show em the first rate sorcerer you are
Billy and Company:
Long as you keep em way off balance
How can they spot you got no talents?
Billy:
Razzle dazzle em
Company:
Razzle dazzle em
Billy:
Razzle dazzle em
Billy and Company:
And theyll make you a star!

(Black out)

SCENE 16

(The lights are light blue. They are pointing at the middle of the stage. This is
the courtroom. There is The Judge sitting in the middle, at the left side there
is Billy, Harrison and Miss Sunshine, at the right side there is Roxie and
Amos. Behind them we can see all the jury)

Announcer: Ladies and Gentleman we present Justice.

The judge: State of Illinois presents Miss Roxie Hart for the Murder of Fred
Cassely.

The Jury: The state call Mister Amos Hart

Billy Flynn: Hello, Amos.

Amos Hart: (Surprised) Amos? Thats right, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: Amos, when did you file sue for divorce?
Amos Hart: A month ago.
Billy Flynn: Was there any reason for filing at this particular time?
Amos Hart: Id say, the newspapers said Roxie was expecting a little stranger.
Billy Flynn: Thats hardly a cause for divorce, isnt it? Dont tell me, you mean
you doubted the fraternity of the child.
Amos Hart: Most sure.
Billy Flynn: Hey, you tell me, Hart. Since you ever question Roxie herself, did
you even bother to ask her if you were the father of the child?
Amos Hart: No, sir.
Billy Flynn: No. What? If you confirm that you were wrong, youd be man
enough in a minute. You would take her back if Roxie swore that youre the
father of the child, which she does.
Amos Hart: She does?
Billy Flynn: She does! No more questions! You can step down now. (To
Amos) Well done, Andy.
Amos Hart: Roxie, Im so sorry.

Billy Flynn: The defense calls Roxie Hart.

The Jury: Roxie Hart on the stand.

Mary Sunshine: This is the moment weve been waiting for. Roxie Hart finally
takes the stand in her own defense. (Everyone claps)
The Judge: Order! Order! Proceed, Mr. Flynn.
Billy Flynn: Roxie, I have heard a statement that you admitted having illicit
relations with deceased Fred Casely. Is this statement true or false?
Roxie Hart: Im afraid thats true.
Billy Flynn: Youre an honest girl, Roxie. When did you first meet Fred
Casely?
Roxie Hart: When he sold Amos and me our furniture.
Billy Flynn: In your personal relationship with him, you told the jury when
that began.
Roxie Hart: When I permitted him to escort me home one night, I dont think
I wouldve gone with him if Mr. Hart and me hadnt quarreled that very
morning.
Billy Flynn: Quarrel? Well, I supposed its his fault.
Roxie Hart: Oh, no, sir. It was my fault. I supposed I just couldnt stop
pestering him. I didnt like him working those long hours at the garage. I
wanted him home with me to done his socks and iron his shirts. I wanted a
real home. A child.
Billy Flynn: So you drifted into this illicit relationship because youre
unhappy at home.
Roxie Hart: Yes, most unhappy.
Billy Flynn: Roxie Hart! The state has accused you the murder of Fred Casely.
Are you guilty or not?
Roxie Hart: Im not guilty I killed him, I did. But Im not a criminal. (She
cries) Im not a criminal
Billy Flynn: Roxie Did you recall the night of June 14th? Could you tell the
jury in your own words the happening of that night?
Roxie Hart: When Fred came over, I told him good news. That me and Amos
are gonna have a baby. And it was all over between us.
Billy Flynn: What happened then? Did he threaten you, Roxie?
Martin Harrison: Objection, your honour. Counsel is leading the witness.
The Judge: Sustained.
Billy Flynn: What does Casely say when you told him the news?
Roxie Hart: Ill kill you before I see you have another mans child! and then,
in his passion, he tore off my robe and he threw me on the bed. And Mr.
Harts pistol was lying there between us.
Billy Flynn: And then!
Roxie Hart: And then we both reached for the gun and I got it first. And then
he came towards me with this awful look in his eyes. He was angry and wild!
Billy Flynn: Wild! And did you think that he might kill you? So it was his life
or yours?
Roxie Hart: And I choosed mine. I closed my eyes and I shot! (A shot sound)
Billy Flynn: To defense your life!
Roxie Hart: And to save my husbands innocent unborn child (She passes
out and the band plays again the end of Razzle Dazzle while the ensemble
and Billy sing that)

Billy and Company:

Razzle dazzle em
Billy:
Razzle dazzle em
Billy and Company:
And theyll make you a star!

(Black out)

SCENE 17

(The lights are pointing at the right and the left side of the stage. At the left
side, there is Miss Sunshine reporting what is happening at Roxie Harts trial
and at the right side of the stage is Mama Morton with all the murderesses
including Velma. They are listening to the radio)

Mary Sunshine: Here in the courtroom Mrs. Harts behavior has been truly
extraordinary. Opening her eyes, she fenced herself with her attorneys
handkerchief.
Liz: Handkerchief?
The others: Shh!

Mary Sunshine: Poor child has no relief. She looks around now, seeming to
want something. Its a glass of water.
Velma Kelly: Oh, Mama, that was my bid! I told Billy I wanted do that at my
trial!
Mary Sunshine: But now her eyes flatter wildly and she Mrs. Hart has
fainted again. She flumps over her chiffon dress up around her knees,
revealing a glimpse of blue garder with Ryan-stone buckle.
Velma Kelly: Oh, Mama, she stole my garder. She stole my garder! (She tries
to break the radio)
Mona: Dont break the radio!
Velma Kelly: First she steals my publicity, then she steals my lawyer, my trial
date, now she stole my goddamn garder.
Mama Morton: What do you expect? I mean these days you get a little success
and its good rinse for the people who put you here.
Annie: It aint no justice in the world. Theres nothing you can do about it.

(Black out)

SCENE 18

(The lights are blue, they are pointing at the middle of the stage. It is the
Courtroom again. There is Miss Sunshine, The judge, The jury, Harrison,
Billy and Roxie)

Mary Sunshine: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mary Sunshine reporting live
from the Cooke County Courthouse. The city of Chicago has come to a
complete stand still. As the trial of century finally draws to a close. Mrs. Hart
sits quietly at the defense table, hands folded. What fate has installed for her?
Theres a hassle over the courtroom as the 12 men of the jury come back
slowly to their seats.
The Judge: Gentlemen of jury, have you reached a verdict?
The Jury: We have your honor.
The judge: The defendant please rise. What is your verdict?
The Jury: We, the jury, find the defendant innocent! (Everyone hears some
shotguns from outside; one reporter comes to the courtroom and announces
what is happening)
Reporter: Come on! Move it! You have to see whats going on out there. A
woman just shoot her husband and his mother. Its awful, its terrible. But
what a story.
(Everyone goes away, except Roxie and Billy)
Roxie Hart: Hey, dont you wanna take my picture? Hey, Im the famous
Roxie Hart. Hey, what happened? What the hell happened?
Billy Flynn: Its Chicago, kid. You were found not guilty, that was what
happened.
Roxie Hart: What about my publicity, Billy? My name on the papers. I was
counting on that. You got $5,000. What do I get? I get nothing.
Billy Flynn: Youre a free woman, Roxie Hart. And God save lllinois. My exit
music please (The Band plays the end of the song All I care about is
Love and just Billy Flynn sings it)

[Billy Flynn]
And All I care about is love!
(He goes away from the stage and lights Black out)
SCENE 19

(The lights are orange, they are pointing at the middle of the stage, where
Roxie is after the trial. Amos appears from behind).

Amos Hart: Roxie.

Roxie Hart: What do you want?
Amos Hart: I want you to come home. You said you still wanted to and the
baby
Roxie Hart: Baby, what baby? Oh, Jesus. What do you take me for? There
aint no baby.
Amos Hart: There aint no baby?
Roxie Hart: They didnt even want my picture. I just cant understand that.
What didnt
they even want my picture?

Amos Hart: My exit music, please (Nothing sounds) Okay (He goes away)

Roxie Hart: All gone All gone.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Roxie Hart says Good Night.

(Nowadays performance, just sung by Roxie Hart)

Its good,
Isnt it, grand?
Isnt it, great?
Isnt it, swell?
Isnt it, fun?
Isnt it?
Nowadays
Theres man,
Everywhere jazz,
Everywhere booze,
Everywhere life,
Everywhere joy,
Everywhere
Nowadays
You can like the life youre living
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And thats
Good,
Isnt it, grand?
Isnt it, great?
Isnt it, swell?
(The music starts to sound lower until it disappears. Velma appears form the
right side of the stage).

Velma Kelly: You know youre really pretty good.

Roxie Hart: and you really are something. Coming in here like some goddamn
queen bee, full of advice for a poor slop like me. Let me tell you something,
Miss Velma Kelly. I got a new life now. And one of the best things about it is it
dont include you.
Velma Kelly: Listen to me. I talked to this guy in downtown. He says one
chance hurts nothing these days, but two We can make a couple hundred a
week. Think about it, Roxie. Faces back on the papers and names in the
market. Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart.
Roxie Hart: Should it be alphabetical?
Velma Kelly: That could work.

(Black out)

SCENE 20 (FINAL SCENE)

(Silver curtains fall down from above. The lights point at the middle of the
stage)

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the Chicago theatre is proud to announce

the first time anywhere thats been an act throughout this nation. Not only
one little lady, but two. You read about them in the papers, and now here they
are. Chicago zone killer-dealers, the lady-sinners, Roxie Hart and Velma
Kelly!

(Nowadays performance. Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly sing and Dance
alone)
[Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly]
You can like the life youre living
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And thats
Good, isnt it?
Grand, isnt it?
Great, isnt it?
Swell, isnt it?
Fun, isnt it?
But nothing stays
In fifty years or so
Its gonna change, you know
But, oh, its heaven
Nowadays
And thats
Good, isnt it?
Grand, isnt it?
Great, isnt it?
Swell, isnt it?
Fun, isnt it?
But nothing stays

Announcer: Okay, you babes of Jazz, lets kick up the bass. Lets make the
party longer, lets make the skirt shorter. Lets all go to the heaven that makes
all the people hot!
(The Band plays Hot Honey Rag and Velma and Roxie dance)
Velma Kelly: Thank you. Roxie and I would just like to thank you for you
faith and your belief in our innocence.
Roxie Hart: Thank you! Believe us, we couldve never done anything without
you!

(The curtains are drawn. The Band plays the Finale and all the students sing
and dance the last part of All That Jazz)

Everyone:
And all
That
Jazz!
That Jazz!
Final Greeting
THE END