SEXY

JUNE 2015

Olivia
Palermo
MY NIGHT ON LOVE, LIFE AND
EVERYDAY STYLE
AT THE
WORLDS DATING YOUR
MOST EX AGAIN
EXCLUSIVE Let it go, p134
SEX PARTY
The dark side
of #healthspo
WHAT WE LEARNT
FROM THE
COOL
STYLE
BELLE GIBSON
SCANDAL, p62
WIND
PROOF
HAIR
STYLES
(that wont get stuck
in your lipgloss)

POP YOUR WINTER

WARDROBE CHERRY
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED
I HAD A BREAST
325 reasons to go REDUCTION
shopping today AND MY BOOBS
GREW BACK
Facebook.com/johnfriedaaus
Instagram @johnfriedaaus
Johnfrieda.com.au

Together, we can keep blonde beautiful.

This colour reviving collection by John Frieda keeps blonde, BLONDE.
Create and maintain fresh salon-quality colour with tailored colour correcting treatments,
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2015 Kao Australia Pty Ltd.
 JUN ON THE
COVER

43 Pop your winter wardrobe

cherry: 325 reasons to go
shopping today
60 The dark side of
#healthspo: What we
learnt from the Belle

56
Gibson scandal
64 This actually happened:
I had a breast reduction
and my boobs grew back
120 Wind-proof hair styles
THE (that wont get stuck in
OLIVIA your lipgloss)
EFFECT 130 My night at the worlds
most exclusive sex party
134 Dating your ex again:
Let it go

4 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

N
this month
mon h

95 55

THIS MONTH
6
9
11
From the editor
Whats new on our website
What we love about June
STYLE EDIT
43
44
47
The simple life
Flares are back
What a vision
115
168 Do try buy 48 All blue everything
176 Astro 51 6 ways to wear a scarf
178 Before you go 54 Fashion for hire

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36 BODY LOVE
151 How to dodge a cold
154 How to get pregnant GET
162 See beyond a dress sizze
THE
164 Should you drink milk?
e
165 The hot workout debate LOOK
166 Get the max out of
every move . th Covergirl
...wit
Covergirl Brow and Eyemakers in Midnight Brown, $9.95.
LIFESTYLIST

80
169 Cosmo lifestylist
174 Watch, follow, play
Covergirl Bombshell Liquid Liner, $8.99.
Covergirl Colourlicious Lip Gloss in Berrylicious, $16.95.
Covergirl Bombshell Shine Shadow in Ooh La Lilac, Copper
Fling and Gold Goddess, $8.99 each.

COSMOPOLITAN
COS
O MOPO
P LITA
T N June 20 5 5
J 2015
from the editor

THIS MONTH
5
IN NUMBERS...
ITEMS IM DEFINITELY BUYING FROM THIS ISSUE
Karen Walker pants, $515, p94 Kooka shoes, $160,
p52 Quirky Circus coat, $149.95, p112 Minkpink ares,

36
$89.95, p44 Mimco cage ring, $99.95, p119

THE NUMBER
OF CANDLES I BLEW OUT on my

14
birthday cake (but really there
was only one candle cos who
has time or breath for 36!).

in women have been sexually harassed at

work. And 80 per cent dont report it. In our special report this month,
we take a look at what sexual harassment looks like in 2015. When
your boss is your friend on Facebook and your colleagues are liking
your every move on Insta, have we moved into such casual relationships
with co-workers that its blurring the line between whats appropriate
and whats off limits in the office? (p66)
4 THINGS I LEARNT MAKING THIS ISSUE
Cauliower is the new Brussels sprout. Get ready
to see it on every menu.
Kit Haringtons real name is actually Christopher.
1 in 2000 babies are born with a tooth (this will make sense
when you read p161).
How to make the perfect cup of tea (the Queens way) on p170.

$500 The amount people are paying for

8-14
PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANTOINE VERGLAS; TNE COFFIN; JAMES EVANS/BAUER; PAUL SUESSE/BAUER
The size range I t depending on where I shop.
a ticket to the rst Australian Killing Kittens sex party. (p130)
We all know that a size 12 in one shop can be the equivalent to a

1 NEW TALENT ACQUIRED I finally learnt to braid.

size 8 in another, yet that little number can have such an impact.
Ive stopped caring what size I buy because ultimately I just want
to look and feel good in the clothes I wear.

2
And my daughters can now truly be Queen Elsa. (p120)

2 COSMOTV VIDEOS THAT WENT VIRAL. (Go to Cosmopolitan.

com.au to view or download our free CosmoTV app).
THE NUMBER OF
BRIDES IN THE
COSMO OFFICE
How to do a shtail braid Hot guys... with bunnies
THIS MONTH.

Enjoy the issue!

Bronwyn McCahon, EDITOR

@bronwynmccahon

6 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

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au.rimmellondon.com

NEW
SCANDALEYES XX-TREME
VOLUME & LENGTH MASCARA
Extreme high-impact volume.
Endless dramatic length.
Lashes streched to their max!
Georgia May Jagger wears ScandalEyes XX-treme Mascara 003 Extreme Black.
 EDITOR
Bronwyn McCahon
WHATS Chanel
YOUR BEST Deputy Editor Claire Askew Rouge
WINTER Creative Director Leisa Maait lipstick, for
BEAUTY un-chapped
TIP? FEATURES lips.
Associate Editor Lauren Sams
Features Editor Rebecca Sloan
Features Writer Julia Naughton
I treat my Beauty & Lifestyle Writer Alexandra Whiting
skin to Senior Producer Emily Kerr
Omnilux, Associate Producer Aimie Rigas Before bed Ill
while my Digital Content Manager Amelia Bowe apply rosehip
face is out oil to my face
of the sun. FASHION & BEAUTY and neck. It
Fashion Director Nicole Adolphe guarantees
Beauty Director Leigh Campbell glowy skin by
Senior Fashion Editor Charlotta Backlund the morning.
Junior Fashion Editor Nicole Lucas
Fashion Office Coordinator Lauren Pirreca
Lucas Papaw
Ointment. No one ART DEPARTMENT
Art Director Lauren Dragosetti Moisturising
likes chapped lips! is a MUST
Designer Danielle Hurps
Interactive Producer/Photo Editor Denis Todorovic (especially
on the face
and legs).
PRODUCTION DEPARTMENT
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 3 REASONS TO CLICK ON
NEW

VOLUME & LENGTH

THIS MONTH MASCARA

MASCAR

SH
IMPACT BRU
DUAL

BINGE-
WATCH COSMO TV
ROUNDUP Check out our new DEFINES &
Make the sofa regulars: Tricky LENGTHENS
your new Trend Tuesday (for
permanent your beauty needs);
residence. We Woman on Top (for
round up the life advice) and hot
best series to guys doing things
binge-watch for VOLUMISES
(just because!).
every mood.

#SHOPPING
Get all the cuddliest
and cosiest winter
warmers at
cosmopolitan.com.
au/fashion. Because
trust us, you look
awesome in knits.
GETTY IMAGES; SPLASH NEWS

e
Letsnbds! TWITTER FACEBOOK INSTAGRAM
frie @cosmoaustralia Cosmopolitan Australia @cosmoaustralia
 Want more?
ACCESS EXCLUS COSMO CONTENT WITH

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JUNE 201

Olivia

SEXY PONaLOleVE,rm o
LIFE AND
YLE
EVERYDAY ST
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MY NIGH T DATING AG YOUR

AT THE S EXLet it go,AIp13N4
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WIND
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STYLE
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PROOF
WHAT WE ELEA
FROM TH SON
BELLE GIB p60

HAIR
SCAN DA L,

STYLES
ZINE IN

get stuck
Download the free Hold your phone or tablet over the
(that wontlipg
iewa app from the App
vie
s)
in your los
page where you see the viewa logo
THE WORL

HAPPENED

INTER Y
THIS ACTUALLY
Store or Google Play.
St and scan to access all of the bonus,
POP YORUORBW
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I HAD A BRCTION
D

ERR REDU
W325AreRasDons to goE H
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AND MY BO interactive content in this issue.
PRINT POST

GREW BACK
APPROVED

day
PP100

shopping to
008785
ISSUE 503

iPhone is a trademark of Apple Inc, registered in the US and

other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc. viewa
is available on Android devices 2.2-4.1.

viewa.com

IN THIS
S ISSUE
Page 40: Ever wondered how we get those pretty makeup swatches? SCAN THIS
Page 44: Flares are back, and you can scan the page to buy them. PAGE FOR
EVERY BIT
Page 120: Brush up your skills with a back-to-basics braiding tutorial. OF BONUS
Page 171: Pretty up your place with your own DIY tie-dye cushion covers. CONTENT.
 this month

2 3
1 4
JUNE?
WHATS HAPPENING,
3. SHOWGIRL
SPECTACLE
1. GET BACK Get your inner Moulin
TO BASICS Rouge on from June
Karen Walkers trio of 11, when the worlds
new fragrances, ABC, largest burlesque
makes it easy to smell festival tours Oz with
incredible, with zesty stunning live shows.
fruit, romantic floral For tickets and dates,
bouquets and eau-so- head to australian
fresh notes. Available burlesquefest.com. Cosmos run-down of all the cool things you
in 50ml ($120) and need to do, see, hear and talk about this month
WORDS BY NATASHA HARDING. PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEVAK BABAKHANI/BAUER. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS JANSEN/BAUER. SPLASH NEWS; GETTY IMAGES

100ml ($160). 4. FOOT LOOSE

Winter doesnt mean
2. PIC-ME-UP giving up your fitness 8. WORK IT

5 8
Celebrate International goals. Stadium Stomp A 9-till-5 office job
Picnic Day on June 18 the stair enduranc
endurance isnt your cup of tea?
with some alfresco fun. challenge starts its Then explore the
Too busy to prep? Just tour on June 14. See alternatives! Head to
head to prettypicnics. stadiumstomp.com. defencejobs.gov.au/
com.au and theyll do au for further details. women for more.
everything for you, or
9. LET IT SNOW

9
go to facebook.com/a 5. REEL ME IN
Dust off your skis and
littleluxury to try to win Calling all film buffs:
grab your favourite pair
a hamper. Whoop! your favourite event of
of mittens the snow
the whole year, The
season starts this month!
Sydney Film Festival, 6. COVER GIRL Plan a road trip with all
runs from June 3-14. RiRi knows faux fur your fave friends, make
For details of whats coats tick all the style a fab playlist and head
on, visit sff.org.au. boxes. Copy her look off to Perisher (June 5-
with these beauties 8), Thredbo (June 5-8)
(see left). From top: or Queenstown (June
$89.95, Minkpink 19-28) to be part of all
(minkpinkworld.com. the opening festivities.
au); $299, Unreal Fur
(unrealfur.com.au); and

7
$129.99, Forever New
(forevernew.com.au).

77. FAN-GIRL

6
MOMENT
Clear your diary Vince
Chase and his boys are
back on June 4 in the
new Entourage movie.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 11

 ONLYINCOSMO
ONLYPrince
William
& Prince
George.
Tom
Brady and
David
Beckham
and
Harper.
Chris
Hemsworth
with India
Rose and one
of the twins.

Benjamin.

Jay-Z and
Blue Ivy.

Josh
Duhamel
HOLD ON
TO YOUR
and Axl.

Neil Patrick

OVARIES
Harris and
Matthew Gideon.
McConaughey
and Levi.

Hot dads with cute kids. We

could look at this for days
Orlando Bloom
and Flynn.

Ben
SPLASH NEWS; GETTY IMAGES

Affleck and
Samuel.

Kanye West
and North.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 13

 e
only in cosmo

o si n -Whitel
R ing to
nt PM ey
u M to s So what does a
supermodel, actress,
entrepreneur and

A
H

Before
I go to bed I
watch a bit of TV
to wind down. I like
to read, too Ive just
finished Lena Dunhams
book Not That Kind
of Girl.
face of ModelCo
START do during her rare
Im usually
downtime?
woken by my two
miniature dachshunds, Dolly
and Peggy, licking my face. A For breakfast
soy latte is my morning tipple, I like eggs on
followed by a litre of water. Then toast or with spinach.
I check my emails being in LA On the weekend, I like
theres a lot to catch up on, to indulge in a bit of
even on days off! bacon or sausage.

Ive been
When doing a high-intensity,
Im at home (not dance-based workout
living on room service!) called Body by Simone. Its
I try to cook clean meals fun but not for the faint-
a piece of protein with hearted! I also love pilates
have th
salad or vegies. I hav the mixed with cardio, it
luxury of eating all keeps me lean, taut
organic foods. and toned.

Ive My skin is
just launched very sensitive and it
my Rosie for Autograph
Autograp has taken me years to
Marks
fragrance [for UK store Mar find the right products for
& Spencer]. When I spoke to ththe it. One I use religiously
perfumer, Ralph, I wanted rose is iS Clinical Active
as the heart note. But it was Serum.
more about the feeling I was
trying to create. I wanted it
to be emotive.
On my days off I
use Laura Mercier Oil
I feel Free Tinted Moisturiser, Stila
unfinished without cream blushers for a dewy flush
COMPILED BY CASSIE POWNEY. GETTY IMAGES

perfume. It helps to set and Hourglass Arch Brow

the tone of where Im going George
or who I want to be at that Northwood has been
time. I like hearing, my hairdresser since I was
Oh, you smell 16, when he was a junior and
amazing! I was a broke model just
starting out. Hes the one
boy friend thats stuck
with me.
Sculpting Pencil Im very
particular about my eyebrows.
Im not a big lipstick fan, but
Burts Bees does a nice
tinted lipbalm.

14 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

CONTACT: (02) 9417 0177 | WWW.NIKKILISSONI.COM
only in cosmo
COSMOQUESTION
Insta-famous.
Is it a long-
term career
prospect?
These industry experts weigh in on whether
fame via the interwebs is everlasting
ROXY JACENKO
DIRECTOR, THE MINISTRY OF TALENT
Theres no denying the power and influence of social
media stars. It would be naive to disregard their long-
term potential. Just like any other form of fame, if you
capitalise on it in the right way there can be longevity.
The most successful Instagram stars diversify what they
have to offer. Generally theyre offering more than just
pictures whether that be tangible products, a blog, services, e-books, etc.
Its also important to be adaptable Instagram is where its at right now,
but who knows what the next big thing may be? If youre flexible and
willing to adjust your personal brand then I think you can transfer that
Instagram fame to new social or mainstream media channels.
16 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
TANIA DEBONO
SOCIAL MEDIA STRATEGIST OF CAKE
Is anything a long-term career prospect? Fame
through any social medium can disappear as fast
as it appeared the key to longevity is consistency
and reinvention. If youve tapped into a large,
worldwide audience, you need to learn how to
harness that fan base into following you on a
journey offline, too. Take it for what it is use it
to your advantage before your story disappears.
SHANE TREEVES
YOUTUBE AUSTRALIA SPOKESPERSON
At YouTube, we see many Australian content
creators break onto the world stage and make
creating content for the web their full-time job.
The channels that succeed dont just post a one-off
hit, but build a loyal fan base and listen to what
their audience wants. If you can turn that one-hit
wonder into an ongoing online meme that people
care about, you can turn it into an Insta-career.
DILVIN YASA
AUTHOR, JOURNALIST AND COMMENTATOR
Hell no! In fact, that quote being famous on
Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly rings
true because none of its real. You could have
millions of followers who are into what youre
wearing or what youre doing, but unless you
take your stellar social media savvy and parlay it
into something with merit, youre going to be the
girl everyone used to talk about pretty damn fast.
EDWINA BARTHOLOMEW
SUNRISE WEATHER PRESENTER
Fame is a imsy notion at best. Fame on the
internet is even more eeting unless you are
a cat specically one that plays the keyboard
or looks permanently peeved. Grumpy Cat has
659,000 Insta followers, a wardrobe of diamant-
studded collars and a ve-gure contract with
Friskies. I do not and neither do you. Insta-fame
is possible but shouldnt we strive for a little more
in life? After all, it didnt make Grumpy Cat happy.
SABIR SAMTANI
DIRECTOR AND CO-FOUNDER, REBORN
& LIFESTYLE MEDIA GROUP
Content on Instagram has higher engagement
COMPILED BY JULIA NAUGHTON
than any other platform in the history of the
internet. The channel is here to stay and the
commercial opportunities will continue to grow.
Who knows what will happen in the next ve to
10 years? But its those who are business-savvy,
authentic and pushing creativity and collaborating
with brands that will build a long-term career.
 LIP BOMB
YOUR
W ORLD
...with a Smooth touch

3 JUICY FLAVOURS TO CHOOSE FROM

Raspberry, Strawberry and Pink Cherry

AVAILABLE AT
CHEMIST WAREHOUSE, MY CHEMIST & MY BEAUTY SPOT!
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @W7COSMETICS FACEBOOK W7 COSMETICS AUSTRALIA
 only in cosmo

BUT WHAT IF
Little did she know
the gift came from
her friends cousins
IM BUSTED?
You have but five
brother-in-law.
emoji-based options
1. You got me. Still
friends, right?
2. Oooh, yeah.
Yeah I did do that.
3. I am ashamed.
Please forgive me.

4. Cant talk. Sleeping.

5. I am speechless

COSMO LIFE I am without speech.

LESSON #1

THE ART OF OK to regift:

books, wine, candles,

REGIFTING
homewares, gift vouchers.

Not OK to regift:
hand-knitted scarves, pets,
anything monogrammed.
Everybody does it. Heres how to do it the right way

I
ts not illegal, its not even frowned upon. Truly, its
OULD
How horrified were you when you received it?
not. But there are rules, so pay attention. Dont
SH
regift the gift to the person who gifted you the
YOU I T?
FT
REGI Only mildly bemused.
gift in the first place. Dont roll your eyes, it happens
(and thats what Post-it notes on presents are for). I yelled, Dear Lord, what evil is
Never regift anything thats broken, damaged or this? and threw it across the room.
has been used (even once).
Ideally, wait a full year before you regift. Always
regift outside the friendship group. Like, way outside. Do you have a frenemys
Would you say its just not your style? birthday coming up?
Never risk the gift-giver going to a mutual friends
house and spotting that one-off tribal vase they got for
you from Africa. And for that matter, if you get busted,
take it like a woman. That is to say with style, grace and Yes I dont do No, its no ones Yes, shes No, Im a nice
a compliment: Yes, but I knew youd enjoy it more than pink/bath salts/ style. Its future turning who the person and like
me Also, that shirt really brings out your eyes. chai tea. kindling. hell cares? everyone.
WORDS BY EMMA MARKEZIC. GETTY IMAGES

But most importantly, get creative and go large

with wrapping. Like, Kanyes ego large. Cards, ribbons,
bows, edible confetti. Anything that makes up for the
REGIFT IT DONT REGIFT IT
effort you didnt put into actually buying them a present.

WHY, I DO DECLARE THINK AGAIN BEFORE TELLING YOUR REGIFTEE THEIRS IS A SLOPPY SECOND. IT KIND OF TAKES THE AIR OUT OF THE WHOLE
GIFT-GIVING SHEBANG. ITS LIKE TELLING YOUR COUSIN YOU ONLY INVITED HER TO DINNER BECAUSE YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS FOOTY PRACTICE.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 19

only in cosmo

1
Hes known for playing Jon Snow in
Game of Thrones and, as a descendant of
Charles II, Kits basically real royalty, too.
Just dont mention it to him: Im not
anti-royalist, but who gives a shit?

2
Jon Snow might be a badass, but in real
life Kit is scared of spiders, injections and
flying. Im turning into a flying alcoholic,
because I cant deal with it, he says.

3
Natural and alluring masculinity [with] an
effortless sense of style is how Sandra
Choi, creative director for Jimmy Choo,
described him when he was announced
as the face of its menswear brand. Totally.

4
His real name is Christopher, but he only
found that out when he was 11 and doing
a test at school. I [wrote] Kit
Harington and [the teacher] looked at
me like I was stupid, and said, No,
youre Christopher Harington, Im
afraid. In the end I stuck with Kit.

5
Hes fine with being naked on camera.

KIT HARINGTON
There are a hundred people watching
you, and after the first 30 seconds
everyones seen everything. Im happy to
strut around naked after that, he says.

(because, Jon Snow!)

WORDS BY CLAIRE HUBBLE. TRUNKARCHIVE.COM/SNAPPER MEDIA

The season is almost over (*sobs*) so here

are five things you wont find out about Kit
from binge-watching Game of Thrones.
Plus, a gratuitous gun show

20 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

only in cosmo
ZO: Tell me Im wrong.
ALLY: You are wrong! You have
no idea how it feels to be out
there, single and hoping, but
finding nothing but dickheads.
Youre married with a baby
and its all just bliss and group
hugs for you. Im surprised
you found time to see me with
all that joy and happiness
clogging up your schedule.
ZO: Now whos bitchy?
ALLY: I love you honey, but
you smug marrieds do make
me a bit sick. You have all the
things I want, and I cant see
how I will ever get there.
ZO: Thats my point! If you
fit and healthy, youre super
social and remember peoples
birthdays before they even
post it on Facebook, you even
do meditation so why
should you settle for a guy
who just works to get paid,
and watches football for the
whole weekend?
ALLY: Yes! Exactly.
Theres
something to be
said for a bit of
open-mindedness

WANNA GET
cant see how you will ever
get there, you will never get
and positivity
there! Its like youre trying

SOME
to see the view out the window,
but refuse to lift the blind.
ALLY: Listen. Im not into all
that manifestation shit. Im
not writing a bloody list of
ZO: Of course theres a guy
out there who matches you
in these endeavours. Its
statistically ludicrous to
suggest otherwise. The

GELATO?
Fictional real conversations with Cosmos
long-standing relationship columnist,
Zo Foster Blake
ALLY: Oh, trust me, I know
all the reasons Im perennially
single: theres a man drought;
Im too fussy; all the men my
age are married (or theyre
gay); Im too intimidating
ZO: Pfft. Youre about as
ZO: Of course I do. By the way,
a confident man will support
his lady when shes successful.
ALLY: You dont know the
men I know, then.
ZO: Youre very mind-made-
uppy about all of this stuff.
my perfect man.
ZO: Im not asking you to
become a living, breathing
Instagram quote, but I do
think theres something to be
said for a bit of positivity and
open-mindedness.
ALLY: Oh, Im always positive
until I actually meet the guy
Ive been set up with, and he
is a complete social dyslexic.
Everyones like, Online dating
is the key, but people LIE
online. One guy used a photo
of his brother as his profile
picture, and didnt understand
why I found that offensive. Im
genuinely starting to think it
IS me. Am I too picky?
ZO: I think the too picky
label often stems from women
working so hard to be fully-
rounded people that its kind
problem is more that youre
so focused on the lack of
guy, that thats all you are
bringing into your life: lack.
ALLY: Go on. Say it.
ZO: What you think about,
you bring about.
ALLY: If I had a dollar
ZO: Just try it. Change your
fixation. Dont constantly
confirm to yourself that
theres a problem. Instead,
believe that you deserve to
be loved by an equal. That
you are surrounded by
quality men. That you are
joyously happy and in love.
ALLY: It all just sounds so
not me.
ZO: And how is me working
out for you on this front?
ALLY: Fine, fine. Ill try
being not me. Its me thats
PHOTOGRAPHY BY JENNIFER STENGLEIN

intimidating as a ladybug.
ALLY: Too accomplished then,
too independent. I dont know,
something that is apparently
a turn-off to men. They cant
handle that Im successful in
my own right. Ooh, theres a
gelato shop if you need some.
Youve got all your reasons
why no decent man will ever
present himself and, even if
he does, that he will instantly
be repelled by your career
and all-round awesomeness.
ALLY: Well. What a bitchy
thing to say.
of disappointing when the
mate theyre trying to attract
isnt equally well-rounded.
Take you, for example: youre
smashing your career, youre
FOLLOW zotheysay.com
ZO!
the problem anyway.
ZO: And your intimidating
job and total awesomeness.
ALLY: Finally, youre starting
to get it. #
@zotheysay @zotheysay

22 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 MARKY
PONDERS
My boyfriend wants
me to describe
MYto him
ORGASM
where
do I start?
Ah, the female orgasm. Hard to come
by and even more difficult to explain.
Never fear, Emma Markezics here!
O
h, how to define an
orgasm is that all?
Are you sure you
dont want to ask me
about the meaning
of life? Or why you
cant borrow my Chanel bag? These
are intricate, multifaceted questions,
my friend. To start with, I dont even
own a Chanel bag. I mean, who am
I, Beyonc?! And the meaning of life
well, thats for people far more
scholarly than I. The orgasm one,
though while complicated I admit
is actually rather doable. And I also
understand why your boyfriend is
curious. I once had a male friend
explain that getting an erection
felt like being suddenly and
awkwardly off balance like
a small child trying to walk
uphill with a giant backpack.
Female arousal is different.
No backpack thing going on for
starters. And most men would
give their right arm to know how it all
24 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
works in intimate detail. Well, maybe
not their right arm they probably use
that an awful lot. But another less useful
body part. The spleen, maybe. Anyway,
here are five ways I like to think about
the female orgasm that might help you
figure out how you feel about yours and
thus explain it to your inquisitive man-
friend accordingly.
A KETTLE BOILING
The classic orgasm analogy! In much
the same way water comes to the boil,
an orgasm especially the female kind
starts off slow. But as things heat up,
pay attention. Therell be bubbling and
simmering and the occasional flare-up
you mistake for the beginning of the end
but is actually just the steamy middle.
Youll think its about to boil any second
so you loiter over it, giving it your full,
undivided attention. But you know what
they say about a watched pot Once you
actually relax and take your eyes off it,
it hits the sweet spot of its own accord,
bubbling over onto the countertop like
 only in cosmo
its some kind of crazy, runaway science BEST RIDE OF YOUR LIFE! And
experiment. But damn, if it isnt the best then suddenly you can relax its all
science experiment that ever there was. downhill from here, my friend. Totally
In fact, lets do it again! worth letting that bike buy you three
mojitos at the bar.
A GUITAR STRING
Other times, the big O is like a guitar A GAME OF BINGO
string. As you tune it, it gets tighter Sometimes, sex is like bingo. There are
and tighter. You can feel the pressure a certain number of boxes you have to
build as you tweak it. Its like someones tick, before you can yell bingo and
winding that thing with a winch. Did everyone can go home. Foreplay: thats
someone let a sailor in here? How is this a box. Getting undressed is usually a
happening?! And then SNAP. It breaks. box, too. Your actual box: definitely
Youd think that would be a bad thing, one that needs attention. Tick off all the
but no the release is incredible. Beyond boxes in the right order and before you
incredible. You had no idea how tense know it youve just got that one box
everything was until it was liberated by left. You can feel the anticipation. You
the aforementioned snappage. Who knew hover over it with your marker, knowing
such pleasure could come from just the your time is coming. If all your stars
tightening of a string? In fact, where align, youll take this thing out. You
can I get more strings? Do they make know its a gamble but youre willing to
PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. STYLING BY CHARLOTTA BACKLUND. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY MIRIAM NICHTERLEIN/UNION MANAGEMENT. MARKY WEARS DRESS BY RUBY SEES ALL

battery-operated strings? Its a positively go all in. And then it happens. BINGO!
lyrical thrill. Now you understand why The elation. The joy. The rush of the
he said he knew youd make beautiful win! Theres nothing like it. The prize
music together He is wise. is yours and mama needs a new pair of
shoes. And a cuddle. And a shower.
RIDING A BIKE
So, youre riding a bicycle up a hill, right THAT ONE SNEEZE
nothing to write home about. But after Oh yeah, you know the one. That rare
a while, you hit your stride and step it mofo of a bodily function that for some
up a gear. Now were talking. You can unknown reason gets stuck in your nose
feel the burn and it feels good. Youre and wont come out no matter what you
climbing that hill like theres an all- do. It just sits there, dormant, teasing
expenses-paid date with Ryan Gosling you with its latent energy. Is it going to
at the top. Sure, your thighs are starting come out or is it going to disappear into
to cramp up and you can feel a little bit the ether from which it came? You dont
of chafing going on, but damn it if you know. But, damn, if it isnt the most achy,
arent going to get to the finish line. frustrating feeling in the world. Then,
You grit your teeth and push through out of nowhere, when you least expect it
the pain the end is near! And then BOOM. It explodes out of your face
youre there, youre at the top. Only its with abandon. You cant do anything to
not the top theres a little extra cliff stop it. Its the most glorious release and
you didnt see and you climb that, too. you cant wait till your vagina does it
HOLY MACARONI, THIS IS THE again! I mean, face. Ahem. #

5
QUESTIONS
I HAVE FOR
PRINGLES
Is it true you were originally
called Newfangled Potato
Chips? Cos thats awesome.
Are you aware
there are roughly 254
Pringle can DIYs on
Pinterest? True story.

Also, did the guy who invented the packaging

really have his ashes buried in a Pringles
can?! Cos thats even more awesome.
Explain why you ever
made White Chocolate
Peppermint Pringles?!

Why does everyone else seem to be able

to make use of the resealable container
but I just eat the whole can in one sitting?

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 25

 CONFESSIONS
You reveal your biggest what-was-I-thinking moments
Cowgirl fail She witnessed my
I met a guy at a bar and If a drunk girl first kiss and told
people about it!
we had a drunken one- seductively waves
night stand but not her tampon in my
before I pulled my face, then tonight
tampon out in front of isnt the night
him and then waved it to get laid.
seductively, like a lasso. Joshua, 20
Swear to God. He was
absolutely horrified.
Lisa, 26

I work for my
schools football
team. I went to drop
off cupcakes for the He looked like he
guys thinking the was making out
locker room was with your cheek.
empty, but they Emily, 18
were all there
naked. They were I wanted to cry.
all staring at me; Nathalie, 19
Iturned so red.
Leila, 21

Animated adventure
I had anal sex with my GF and we
turned the TV on so no one would hear
us. How to Train Your Dragon was on.
Now every time I see it, Ithink of anal.
Kevin, 22

26 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 only in cosmo

I tell everyone Im vegan,

but I secretly eat hot dogs.
Worst dates
EVER!
Angelina, 25

GUY CONFESSION
I was about to have a
girl over, but I hadnt
washed my sheets in,
like, three months. So I
texted my roommate and
told him to spray Glade
all over my sheets.
Worked perfectly.
Jack, 21
Enjoy these readers doozies, and be glad this wasnt you
My friend and I were
He asked me if Id going on a double date.
ever CONSIDERED One guy arrived and said
PLASTIC SURGERY his friend wasnt coming
because Id look great then asked how much
with a boob job. to get me and my mate to
Kim, 25 a hotel. Maura, 20

He told me that He pulled out his phone and

started showing me all the other
hehad stalked my girls on OkCupid he was talking to,
Instagram before telling me that if we didnt work
our first date, and out, he needed a Plan B. Surprise:
then proceeded to we didnt make it. Amanda, 24
inform me that my
sister was so hot.
Er thanks?
Julie, 25
EDITED BY MARINA KHIDEKEL. COMPILED BY ANNA BRESLAW; HELIN JUNG. PHOTOGRAPHY BY NAOMI NISHI. GETTY IMAGES

On our first ever

date, we were
pulled over and
GUY the police officer
CONFESSION ARRESTED HIM. On my first date
I was And the guy then with a guy I met
rehearsing for He chose an had the nerve online, he said
expensive bar, toask me to
adance while and when the bill bailhim out. wed be having
wearing my came, only threw Tanya, 36 three children
friends jeans, down $20, which one every 18
not realising barely even months and
the pants had covered the tip. not to worry
slid down my He looked at me because hell
bum! I was and said, YOU getme a nanny.
HAVE A BETTER Allthis over
showing major JOB, SO YOUVE appetisers
plumbers GOT THE REST, andwine.
crack. RIGHT? Maria, 27
Taurean, 25 Carmen, 25

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 27

 SUBSCRIBE OR RENEWTO

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from, famous for making the low look high and the high look cool. Its features and beauty stories are
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BEAUTY

EDIT
TRULY
MATTE-LY
DEEPLY
Follow your material instincts: velvet,
suede and satin are the modern
requirements for nails, lips and base >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 29

 beauty edit
T H R E E W I N N I N G WA Y S W I T H M A T T E M A K E U P
Do
lce A matte mouth used to mean WHAT NOT TO DO: Avoid pastel
& dry lips. Not so hot. But next- colours and frosted finishes
silky lips

Ga
gen formulas are more creamy thats not this seasons trend

bb
than waxy so you look well- (and this is not a Madonna

an
hydrated, but not shiny. Still, throwback). Red, dark mulberry,

a
its important to prep; use a lip rosy hues and warm nudes are
exfoliator to scrub away any shades to stick to. Super chic,
flaking, then use a moisturiser. super sleek.
Elizabeth Arden
Beautiful Color
Moisturizing
Lipstick in Nude,
$35.
Nars Lipstick in
Kate Moss for Shanghai Express,
Rimmel Lasting $35.
Finish Matte Lipstick
in 113, $12.95.

on
rd

suede mani
A suede-look mani takes a little more
TLC than the original but its worth s Go

e
W
it. Flat finishes highlight flaws in nails,
so use a buffer and sweep on a ridge-
filling base to mask any imperfections.
Use a matte top coat to take the shine
off your usual fave polishes.
WHAT NOT TO DO: Drying drops usually
contain silicon, which adds shine, so you
cant use them on a matte mani. In fact,
the ingredient that makes a polish shiny
also helps it dry without that, a matte
polish takes about twice as long to set. OPI Matte Top
Coat, $19.95.
Sally Hansen
Big Matte Top
Coat, $12.95.
velvet skin

Its time to quit dewy skin. Put WHAT NOT TO DO: Matte makeup
Bu

away anything that promises to doesnt mean OTT powdering

rbe

make you gleam or glow (for now, or a chalky finish. You should
rr y

anyway). A velvety-finished matte not end up looking like an extra

base is a little more elegant and on Dallas (the 80s version).
totally modern. Its also cleaner Paired with just a little smoky
and more controllable than layers eyeshadow and nude lip, it gains
of liquid or cream foundation. modern sophistication.
Yves Saint
Laurent Le
Teint Encre
De Peau, $85.
WORDS BY ALEXANDRA WHITING

BareMinerals
Matte SPF 15
Foundation,
$35, available
at Mecca
Lancme Paris Dual Cosmetica.
Finish Versatile
Powder Makeup, $60.
30 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
 ADVERTISING FEATURE

THE
RESULTS
ARE IN! We invited real women to trial
the NEW Olay Total Eects
Pore Minimising Collection
this is what they had to say!

OUTOF
said they noticed a
VISIBLEDIFFERENCE
in their skin*

I absolutely loved these products.

I loved the smoothness of each, the
smell of the day cream, how well they
smoothed onto the face and how fresh
I realised what a
the toner made my face feel.
dierence these TALIA, 29
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LORNA, 30
NEW Olay Total Eects
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I honestly could tell the
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Try it and see the results. Now available in all
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* Source: The Insiders Community Olay Total Effects Product Trial January 2015, N = 127 women usedd th
the product
d t ffor 7 or more ddays.
beauty edit

3
SHIELD FROM
THE SUN
In addition to oil and
age, the sun plays a
big part in how big
your pores become.
UV rays tear up the
collagen in your skin
which we know is
whats responsible
for keeping pores
tight, says Charles.
Truth: Using a daily SPF can
Oversized prevent structural
pores can skin damage before

SMALLER
make anyone

4
feel loopy. it happens. Winning.

Ella Bach Purifying

Treatment Lotion, $69.

PORES?
TIGHTEN UP
As you age, your skin
loses collagen and
elastin the building

YES, REALLY!
blocks necessary for
tight skin and pores.
That causes sagging,

WORDS BY MARTA TOPRAN. ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY ALEXANDRA WHITING. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEVAK BABAKHANI/BAUER. GETTY IMAGES/FLICKR OPEN
which scientists now
believe is why pores
shift from a round to

Weve always been told you cant make your pores a droopy, teardrop
shape. The original
smaller, but new skincare advances are proving that thinking was that

old adage wrong. Heres how to shrink em you cant change the
shape back but
you can, explains

2
Geyer. Ingredients

1
like yeast extract
La Roche-Posay
VACUUM firm up pore walls Anthelios XL
YOUR SKIN and help to restore a Melt-in Cream
Oversized pores and circular appearance. SPF 50+, $27.95.
excess oil go hand in

5
hand. When sebum
gets trapped in your BLUR THEM OUT
skins pores, it can Ole Henriksen Grease Waiting for results to kick in from the
cause inflammation Relief Cleansing Cloths,
$22, available at Sephora. treatments mentioned? Get an instant
that then physically skin fix with a pore-minimising primer,
expands the pore, aka blur cream. Optical reflectors will
says dermatologist SLOUGH SMARTER mattify skin and visually fill in pores
Adam Geyer. A very In an attempt to keep pores so they look smaller just be sure to
easy way to suck out clear, its common to over- look for an oil-free formula to avoid
all that oil is to use a exfoliate, but this can actually re-clogging up those pores. #
charcoal face wash. cause pore inflammation
Charcoals renowned the opposite of what youre
for its ability to bind going for, says dermatologist
itself to grime and Carlos Charles. Swap gritty
extract it from your face scrubs for a gentler wipe
pores, says Geyer. or pad infused with chemical
In fact, charcoal can exfoliants like glycolic acid
apparently bind up or salicylic acid. Only use it
Bior Charcoal Pore to 800 times its own two or three times a week to
Minimizer, $10.99. weight in dirt and oil! give skin a break. Lancme La Base Pro Pore Eraser, $55.

32 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 LOVE IS AN IRRESISTIBLE DESIRE
TO BE IRRESISTIBLY DESIRED.
ROBERT FROST, POET

2015 Revlon
DESIRE
IS ON
NEW REVLON
PHOTOREADY EYE ART
LID + LINE + LASH
Dazzle with the latest in makeup
artistry. Coordinating shadow duos
with satin and sparkle finishes create
unique, customised eye looks.

OLIVIA WILDE WEARS DESERT DAZZLE.

Find out more at revlon.com.au

beauty edit

THEKARDASHIANS
THE KARDASHIANS
4 THINGS WE LEARNT FROM

Love them or hate them, theres no denying that the famous

sisters have collectively brought back high-glamour makeup

LASHES NO-MAKEUP LIPLINER CONTOURING

FROM KHLO
MAKEUP FROM KYLIE FROM KIM

Add impact with lush lashes.
Apply eyeliner to your top
lash line, then curl your own
lashes and coat in mascara.
Measure a set of strip lashes
against your eye and cut to
length accordingly. Look
down in the mirror to place
the strip into your lash root,
then wiggle into place. Hide
the join with more eyeliner.
FROM KENDALL
As an in-demand model,
Kendalls eyebrows have
been yo-yo-ing between
bleached and brunette, but
her off-duty look is all about
a flawless base and little
else. Looking effortless
should be effortless, so use
a BB cream with an SPF.
She claims her pumped-up
lips are a lipliner illusion,
but you be the judge. Liner
can make lips look fuller, so
nix any flakes and start with
a waxy lip balm to hydrate,
then trace an earthy brown
liner around the edge of the
lips before fully filling in. Go
over with a similar-coloured
lippie, or just more balm.
WORDS BY LEIGH CAMPBELL. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEVAK BABAKHANI/BAUER; CHRIS JANSEN/BAUER. GETTY IMAGES
For serious contouring, ditch
powders and opt for creamy
consistencies instead. After
foundation, apply a dark
shade under cheekbones,
into the hairline and down
the sides of the nose, then
blend well. Follow with a
highlighter on the top of the
cheekbones and down the
bridge of the nose. Blend.

Rimmel London
BB Cream
Radiance, $12.95.

Clinique Chubby Stick Sculpting

Eylure London Dramatic Laura Mercier Lip Pencil Contour and Sculpting
Adhesive Lashes, $14.99. in Plumberry, $30. Highlight, $42 each. #

34 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136

36 1166

DISCOVERIES
#idiscovered
SALUTE
THE SUN
New day, fresh start. Discover one Cosmo readers yoga mojo
and why you really dont want to sleep in this Saturday
Its a tick after sun-up and Sophie Palmers eyes are open. WEAR: Dr. LeWinns Private Formula
Actually, shes already on the beach and in a headstand. Since Day Cream Moisturiser LIGHT SPF 15,
first clicking with yoga 10 years ago, Sophie has rolled her a sheer new take on the original
mat out on the sand to jumpstart every morning. She teaches cult moisturiser.
an early class even on weekends. Its a beautiful time to move WHY: Instant hydration sinks in
the energy around the body and set the foundation for a faster than you can wiggle into lycra,
and refreshes skin all day. Its an
peaceful, calm and grounded day, she swears. Bonus: while
the UV index is low, Sophie soaks up vital vitamin D with bare un-greasy base for foundation if
youre going to breakfast right after
arms and legs. I wear SPF to protect my face, though a
a workout.
light but really hydrating lotion packed with active antioxidants.
Yoga is when I focus on nourishing my entire self. BEST FOR: All multi-taskers. This is
sun protection, anti-ageing action
and deep moisture in one. Clinical
trials show it boosts hydration by
SEE SOPHIES YOGA MOVES 50 per cent in one hour.*
Use the free viewa app and scan this page to watch
Sophie demonstrate her yoga moves and her interview POWERED BY: Its practically a super
with Cosmos Beauty director, Leigh Campbell. smoothie for a morning face a
dose of Hydroviton Plus, blended
into a trio of revitalising berry
extracts, antioxidant argan oil,
cell-renewing vitamin A and SPF 15.
*Clinical study on 10 women aged 20-60 over a two-week period.
SHARE YOUR
BE A MORNING PERSON
Sophies yoga tips
Flex, then fuel
My favourite post-yoga
brekkie is a homemade bowl of
seasonal fruit, berries, coconut
flesh, nuts and chia seeds.
Plus warm water with lemon.
Feel the vibe
I like to mix up my yoga
playlist Edo and Jo, Xavier
Rudd, Bon Iver and Alt-J.
Get zen in the dark
Before the rest of the world
starts to stir, I like to do my
meditation practice. Its a
really special time of the day.
Do it everywhere
Ive recently returned from
studies in Bali and India and
I love to teach outdoors.
Wherever theres space for
a mat, theres space for yoga.
@sophiepalmeryoga
Yoga with Sophie
beauty
ty edit
dit
All my boring
black brushes
went into the bin
after seeing this.

Rock & Ruddle

Natural Boar
Bristle Brush in
Leopard, $59.95. Stila Shape & David Beckham
Shade Custom Instinct Gold Edition
Contour Duo EDT (50ml), $39.
from Mecca
Cosmetica, $52.

Master the art of

light and shade with
this all-you-need
OPI Nail Lacquer in palette.

BEST
Pineapples Have
Peelings Too, $19.95.

FROM THE
BEAUTY
Nude-nail girls, You cant get
you might want much more
to sit this one luxe than this
out. Not for the gold bottle.
faint-hearted.

Redken Diamond Oil

High Shine Gel
Conditioner, $22.95.
Beauty
director
Leigh
Campbell DESK
New, fun and pretty much finished now weve
ve had
had a play
play
Nutrir Nourishing
Cleansing Oil,
$24.95.

Too Faced Better Than Rub on this body

False Lashes Extreme! scrub, then rinse off
Mascara from Mecca for smooth limbs.
Cosmetica, $46.

STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEVAK BABAKHANI/BAUER; CHRIS JANSEN/BAUER

This luxe
cleansing oil
Tiny shimmery Its a big claim, but LOccitane takes off my
particles catch huge, bat-worthy Aromachologie makeup like
the light as you lashes are yours Revitalizing Body nobodys
flip your hair. after a few layers. Scrub, $45. business.

UNDER $20 Our fave too-good-to-be-so-cheap products this month

Rimmel London
BB Cream Fudge
Radiance, Urban
Natio Mineral $12.95. Designer Brands Powder M d Co
Mo
Model
Face Contour Longwear Lipstick Styler, Rosehip
s +
Palette, $17.95. in French Rose and $8.95. Lu
Luxury
Blushing Rose, Facial Oil,
$9.99 each. $
$20.

36 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 Beauty
SETS THE
TRENDS
Cosmos bringing sexy back . Meet the
glam bronzed look of the season.
WRAP UP: The VAMFF beauty look was all
about the new way to do golden skin and a
smokey eye. Bronzed skin was made modern
and polished with a matte nude lip, Hollywood
waves and a deep side part. Rose gold eyes
topped with loads of lashes fi nished the glam,
oh-so-coveted look. It was the perfect pairing
for the sleek and sexy designs from Shona Joy,
Cameo the Label, The Fifth Label and more.
press play WATCH BEAUTY TUTORIALS NOW @
PRICELINE.COM.AU/BEAUTYSCHOOL
GET THE RUNWAY LOOK
THE EXPERTS
PRICELINE PHARMACY
MAKE-UP DIRECTOR RAE
MORRIS AND HAIR DIRECTOR
KENNETH STODDART WRAP UP
THE LOOKS FROM THE SHOW
RAE SAYS: I love this look, it's sexy, beachy
and very bronzed. It's a look I know women
will love. It's normally the look we always see
for summer, but by matting the T-Zone and
going for a matte modern nude lip, it's the
perfect look for the cooler months too. Lots
of gold highlights on the skin, a feminine
peachy pink cheek, and a rose gold eye.
Finish off with loads of lashes.
KENNETH SAYS: This hairstyle is all about
looking polished and chic. It's a classic
look that oozes sexiness with a touch of
drama. The waves are tousled and the part
is deep, making it uber chic.
For more on how to get the look, go to
priceline.com.au/vamff/runway-3
beauty edit

HOW
TO DO PRETTY MESSY
Its the ultimate hair unicorn: effortlessly tousled, I-woke-up-like-this,
cool girl, off-duty bed hair. Heres how to perfect pretty messy hair

S 5
ynonymous with off-duty models
and the cool-girls of Tumblr and
Instagram, purposely messy hair
Temperley that looks oh-so-good is a completely
London achievable everyday look. Its all about
the prep-work, says Sam Overton,
Unilever Haircare Creative Director for
TRESemm. Messy bed hair is an art
form it should look natural, lived-in
and have variation in texture.
Brush your fingers through your
hair to take out any knots, then take
the TRESemm Perfectly (un)Done
Dry Defining Spray, $8.99, hold it
about 30cm away from your head and
start spraying. While you spray, scrunch
and twist the hair to add some texture.
Remember not to be too exact the style
is meant to look varied and effortless,
so dont overthink it.

1
Giambattista Valli
Wash with TRESemm
Perfectly (un)Done Shampoo
and Conditioner, $6.99 each.
Giambattista
Valli
2 Towel dry and work a
handful of TRESemm
Perfectly (un)Done Wave
Creating Sea Foam, $8.99,
from mid-lengths to ends.

3 Take off the nozzle from

your hairdryer, flip your
head upside down and blast
your hair. Make sure you
shake it out as it dries to
ensure that the air is
BCBG Max Azria
flowing all the way
through your hair.
THE TUCK
4
Temperley For a slight twist on the look, tuck
London Once your hair is your hair into a low, loose ponytail
about 80 per cent with longer strands left out. Or go the
dry, flip back to upright faux bob (like Gigi at the Max Mara
and dry the rest. show). To do it, secure hair in two
low, loose ponytails. Loop each pony
and secure it with bobby pins. This
WORDS BY ALEXANDRA WHITING. JASON LLOYD-EVANS

is a good extension on the style to

This style will
change through the
day and only get better
the more you play with it
and live in it. If you feel
like it needs a boost the
next day, add more dry
Max Mara spray to reactivate the
style, says Overton.
BCBG Max Azria
make it a little more refined.
THE CUT
While the messy look works best with
a layered cut, it can work for any hair
type. Blunt cuts and thinner hair may
need more product (go nuts with the
dry spray). Thick-haired girls shouldnt
add too much volume. Those with
curly hair should start with a smoothing
serum to avoid frizz. #

38 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 The product
most recommended
by doctors for
scars & stretch
marks.*
*Think Strategy HCP Study,
30/10/13

I was first introduced to Bio-Oil after I cut my leg while hiking.

A friend recommended using Bio-Oil as soon as the wound had healed
and I am so grateful for her advice! Thanks to Bio-Oil, the scar is
now just a faint line which I rarely think about. Then, 3 or 4 weeks
back, I decided to try it on my face Ive been an outdoors person
all my life and have more than my share of dry, tired-looking skin.
Well, my skin feels much smoother and looks positively radiant!
Needless to say, Bio-Oil now has a permanent place in my medicine
cabinet! Fiona Stewart
 QA
beauty edit

BEAUTY Shed finally

found the
solution to
pash rash.

+ You asked.
We answered.
Youre welcome
Tom Ford For
Men Conditioning
Beard Oil, $70.

My guy reckons
he cant moisturise
IM KEEN TO DO A SOFT because of his
SMOKY EYE, BUT DONT beard. Is that true? LOral Men
KNOW HOW TO GET While traditional face
Expert Hydra
STARTED. ANY TIPS? creams can feel greasy and
Energetic
Moisturiser for
First up, dont go for black; get caught in the hairs, boys 3 Day-Beards,
its harsh and hard to blend. $14.95.
with facial fuzz shouldnt
Instead, go for bronze or have to give up their good
brown in a cream or stick grooming. Buy him a beard
formula. Swipe colour onto oil, or a moisturiser thats

WORDS BY LEIGH CAMPBELL. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEVAK BABAKHANI/BAUER. TRUNK ARCHIVE

the lid between the lashes formulated for stubble.
and the socket, then smudge Im confused as to
and blend with a finger. what order I apply
Finish off with black mascara. product to damp
hair. Any advice? MY FACE Firstly, use a cleansing oil, milk or balm they
W7 Chunky
Start with your heat ALWAYS FEELS remove dirt and makeup, but not natural oils.
Then use a cream thats especially formulated
Eyes in (from
top) Mocha, protector, concentrating REALLY DRY for dry skin, so it hydrates throughout the day.
Cappuccino and on the mid-lengths and HELP! WHAT Also, consider taking a dietary supplement to
Latte, $4.99
each, available ends. Then, spritz in a PRODUCTS ARE help nourish your skin from the inside out. #
at Chemist leave-in treatment if BEST FOR ME
Warehouse.
youneed it (or choose a TO USE?
product that does both). Napoleon Perdis
Last is your volumising Balm Voyage
Moisture Complex
spray or mousse; use Cleanser and
MMMORE! this on the roots. Then Makeup Remover,
Ever wondered grab the hairdryer! $59. Neutrogena Hydro
how we get these Boost Water Gel,
De Lorenzo Elements Amplify $24.99.
pretty makeup Volumising Spray, $19.95; and
swatches? Scan Goldwell Dualsenses Rich Repair
to find out. Thermo Leave-In Treatment, $20.95.

40 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 l i k
ANY WAY e i t !
yo u
SEXY
JUNE 2015

ON YOUR
PHONE Olivia
Download at the Palermo
App Store
MY NIGHT ON LOVE, LIFE AND
EVERYDAY STYLE
AT THE
WORLDS DATING YOUR
MOST EX AGAIN
EXCLUSIVE Let it go, p134
SEX PARTY
The dark side
of #healthspo
WHAT WE LEARNT
FROM THE
COOL
STYLE
BELLE GIBSON
SCANDAL, p60
WIND
PROOF
HAIR
STYLES
(that wont get stuck
in your lipgloss)

POP YOUR WINTER

WARDROBE CHERRY
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED
I HAD A BREAST
325 reasons to go REDUCTION
shopping today AND MY BOOBS
GREW BACK
ON YOUR TABLET
Download at the App Store
IN YOUR MAILBOX
magshop.com.au

ONLINE ON COSMO TV ON FACEBOOK ON TWITTER ON INSTAGRAM

cosmopolitan.com.au youtube.com /cosmoaustralia @cosmoaustralia @cosmoaustralia
/cosmoaustralia

Apple, the Apple logo, iPad, and iPhone are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the US and other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc.
 STYLE
EDIT
1 3
4
$129.95, Rollas
$290, Dita (rollas.com.au).
(dita.com).

THE
$120, Asos
(asos.com/au).

2
BASICS
$119, First Base
(thisisfirstbase.com).

EVERY
7 GIRL
NEEDS
$89.95, Fallen
Broken Street
(fallenbroken
street.com).

Fashion yourself
a killer outfit with
these wardrobe
STYLING BY NICOLE LUCAS. PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS JANSEN/BAUER. JASON LLOYD-EVANS

essentials

5
6
$109.90, Uniqlo
$189.95, Skin
(skin.shoes).

(uniqlo.com/au).

A June 2015 43
COSMOPOLITAN
style edit

$89.95, Minkpink
(minkpinkworld.com). $299, Caslazur
(caslazur.com).

$225, Cue
(cue.cc).

GOOD NEWS:

FLARES
ARE BACK So groovy. So vintage. So your
new wardrobe must-have

STYLING BY NICOLE LUCAS. STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY RODNEY MACUJA. JASON LLOYD-EVANS; GETTY IMAGES
$59.95, H&M $225, Cue
(hm.com/au). (cue.cc).

MMMORE!
Download the
$380, Anna Quan
(annaquan.com). viewa app and
scan the page to
buy your own
pair of flares.

44 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 Want
We believe that More Betterness helps you do the things
you want to do. And our ever-growing legion of fans say it
just makes you feel better. So ll your glass half full with
Vital Greens every morning and add More Betterness to the
rest of your day.

Better Formula. Developed by Naturopaths.

Better Absorption. No hard to swallow tablets.
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FREE FREE INGREDIENTS FREE

#morebetterness www.vitalgreens.com
 NEW
ISSUE
COMING
SOON

Follow our tweets on Like us on Facebook (facebook. Follow us on Instagram Visit ourr website
Twitter (@CosmoBride) com/cosmopolitanbrideaustralia) (@cosmobride) (cosmo
mopolitanbride.com.au)
 style edit

ed
ar
$29 9
, Ver

qu
s a ce
at O P

DS
SM (
opsm
.c o m
. a u) .

).
n.com.au
igervisio
Vision (t
i at Tiger
ola Finett
$285, Nic

AT A
H
W ISION
V f fa ce-
pa ir o eason
ith a the s
$199,
ent w des of
atemest sha
Colle
at tte Din
(spec Specsave nigan
rs
st
e a hott
s av e r
s.com
.au).
ak
M n the
ersi
fram $49, Th
orberg
is
at Funk om.au).
.c
(funkis
STYLING BY LAUREN PIRRECA. PHOTOGRAPHY BY SCOTT HAWKINS/BAUER. JASON LLOYD-EVANS

.
au)
m.
.c o
a rl y
(cle
a rl y
at Cl e
ve
, Lo
$ 59
$29 9
, Tom
my H
ilfige
r at S
pec s
$520, Roberto av e r s
Cavalli at He (s p e c
aly Optical (h s av e
ealyoptical.c r s .c o
om.au). m.au
).

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 47

 ALL BLUE
EVERYTHING From baby blue to sapphire, theres a
shade for everyone the skys the limit

Knit: $199, Saba

(saba.com.au). Ear
cuff: $269, Sarina
Suriano (sarina
suriano.com). Rings:
right hand $12.99,
Equip (equip
accessories.com.au).
Rings: left hand from
$259, Thomas Sabo
(thomassabo.com).
Bracelet: $119,
Swarovski
(swarovski.com).

Shirt: $69.95, Subtitled at General Pants Co. (generalpants.com.au). Jeans:

$139.95, Wrangler at General Pants Co. (generalpants.com.au). Necklace: $139,
Izoa (izoa.com.au). Metallic rings: $7.95 for set, Colette by Colette Hayman
(colettehayman.com.au). Rings: from $259, Thomas Sabo (thomassabo.com).

Coat: $144, Ladakh

(ladakh.com.au).
Earrings: $7.99,
Equip (equip
accessories.com.au).
Gold necklace:
$199, Swarovski
(swarovski.com).
Necklace: $159, Izoa
(izoa.com.au). Gold
and blue ring: $99,
Fielsol (fielsol.com).
Rings: from $259,
Thomas Sabo
(thomassabo.com).

48 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 style edit
Top: $29.90,
Uniqlo (uniqlo.com).
Shorts: $110,
One Teaspoon at
General Pants Co.
(generalpants.com.
au). Tassel
necklace: $9.95,
Colette by Colette
Hayman (colette
hayman.com.au).
Necklace: $159,
Samantha Wills
(samanthawills.
com). Rings:
from $259,
Thomas Sabo
(thomassabo.
com).
STYLING BY NICOLE LUCAS. PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEVAK BABAKHANI/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY HEIDI KING. MODEL: ISABELLE/LONDON MGT GROUP

Jumper: $59.95,
Quirky Circus at Myer
(myer.com.au).
Earrings: $129,
Mimco (mimco.com.
au). Cuff: $169,
Samantha Wills
(samanthawills.com).
Cage ring: $20, River
Island (au.riverisland.
com). Rings: left
hand from $259,
Thomas Sabo
(thomassabo.com).

Dress: $248, Gisele from Paddy to Palmy (paddotopalmy.com.au).

Earrings: $69, Izoa (izoa.com.au). Long necklace: from $869; short
necklace: from $169; rings: left hand from $259, all Thomas Sabo
(thomassabo.com). Ring: right hand $99, Fielsol (fielsol.com).

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 49

 Enter the
2015
competition
NOW

$10,000
grants for
great ideas
Young women are
making a difference,
selflessly helping others
and building a better
Australia. The winners
Laura OReilly,
will share in a prize pool the 2014 Judges

of $100,000 to follow Choice winner, $100,000 IN PRIZES

is creating jobs
TO BE W0N
their dreams. for people with
disabilities. Two winners and six runners-up
will receive eight scholarships
as follows:
HOW TO ENTER 50 words or less in response to the JUDGES CHOICE: Voted by our
If you or someone you know is aged between question: How would you use this scholarship panel of experts $10,000, plus a
18 and 28 years old, with a great business idea, to achieve your dreams and benefit others? $10,000 Qantas travel bursary
charity or creative venture to fund or innovation Any additional relevant material about your and
to research that will transform the lives of others, venture that may help the judges. a years Qantas Club membership.
we encourage you to enter. You can do so by Please note, entries may be featured in the PEOPLES CHOICE: Voted by
post to The Australian Womens Weekly Qantas magazine, on The Weekly and Qantas websites the
Women of the Future Competition 2015, GPO or social media sites and Qantas in-flight videos. readers $10,000, plus a $10,000
Box 4178, Sydney, NSW 2001, or online at Entries close on June 24, 2015. Qantas travel bursary and a years
wotf.aww.com.au, with the following: Fifteen semi-finalists will be notified by June Qantas Club membership.
ALANA LANDSBERRY/BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU.

Your name, mailing address, daytime 30, 2015. Between July 23, 2015 and August SIX RUNNERS-UP: Voted by our
contact phone number and email address. 19, 2015, readers can vote online for the Peoples panel of experts $5000 each,
Your date of birth. Choice Award. Eight finalists will then be plus
A recent photograph of yourself. invited to Sydney (flights and accommodation a $5000 Qantas travel bursary
One paragraph of 100 words or less, included) for a very special event to announce and a years Qantas Club
telling us about yourself. the winners and runners-up. membership.

TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Conditions apply, see www.wotf.aww.com.au/terms for full Terms and Conditions. Open to female Australian residents aged 18-28 years.
Availability for an interview between July 1, 2015 and July 10, 2015 is required. Entries close 5pm AEST June 24, 2015. Limit one (1) entry per person. Your information is used to
conduct this promotion and may be disclosed to service providers and authorities as required. We may also use your information for our own marketing purposes and
as set out in the conditions. If the information is not provided, you cannot enter. Bauer Media Limiteds Privacy Policy, at www.bauer-media.com.au/privacy, contains
details on how information is used, how you may access/correct information held and our privacy complaints process. Your information will not be disclosed overseas.
The Promoter is Bauer Media Pty Ltd (ABN 18 053 273 546).
 style
y edit

$19.95, Cotton
On (cottonon.
com.au).

6
$
$34.99,
Forever
o e e Newe
((forevernew.
ccom.au).
).

$135, Marimekko
(02 9299 0372).

WAYS TO
WEAR A
SCARF
STYLING BY NICOLE LUCAS. PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANDREW FINLAYSON/BAUER. ILLUSTRATIONS BY INGA CAMPBELL (INKLINGDESIGN.COM.AU)

We hate winter, but

at least we get to $$149,, Mimcoo
wear cool scarves ((mimco. com.au).
au).

$245, Caslazur
(caslazur.com).

$19.95,, Condura
((condura.com.au).).

$119, Madeleine Charles

(madeleinecharles.com).

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 51

SHOP
HAT
Be the right kind of ice queen
in the coolest hue going.

THE
COSMO
Emily, senior producer
Hat: $59.95, Ace of Something
(aceofsomething.com.au).
( )

OFFICE
PAST
PASTEL
DRESS
D S
W ter? Pah! Channel
Winter? C
60 cool
60s coo in a laser-cut
dress teamed
minidress d with
h
In our gig, any style goes opaq tights.
opaque h

Heres what Team Cosmo

wore this month

Alex,
beauty and
lifestyle A i
Amelia,
assistant i i
digital
Coat: Quirky t t
content
Circus. Dress: manager
Karen Walker. D ess H&
Dress: H&M.
Shoes: Wittner. Shoes:
S oes Boohoo.
oo oo.
D ess $$69.95,,
Dress: Bracelets: Colette
ace ets Co ette
H&M ((hm.com/au).)
H by Colette Hayman.
y an.

SCARF SHOES
Add instant pretty to any look Killer heels
hee s a d a sexyy
and
with atimeless printed scarf. pee
peeptoe?? S Stock up.

Lotta, senior
fashion editor Leigh,
ig beauty
ty director
Dress: Khoon Hooi. Aimie, associate producer SShoes:
oes: $160, Kooka
Shoes: Senso. Scarf: Mimco. (kookai.com.au).
 style edit
PANTS BAG
Keep
p things cropped for The arm candy
a covetable
vetable off-duty look. of dreams: a pink,
personalised clutch.
Eff l chic.
Effortlessly

Tash, editorial
coordinator
Dress: Zhivago. Bags:
PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS JANSEN/BAUER

top to bottom Ted Baker;

The Daily Edited and River
/

Island. Clutch: above

$99.95, The Daily Edited
(thedailyedited.com).

Nicole A,
fashion
director
FLARED
OLE LUCAS. ANY ITEM NOT CREDITED IS STAFFERS OWN. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER. STILL-LIFE PHO

Knit: Forever SKIRT

Nicole L, junior New. Skirt: Lashings of black help
fashion editor Cameo the stop candy pink tones
Coat: Asos. Label. ffrom getting too girlie.
l
Jumper: H&M.
Pants: $389, One
by One Teaspoon
(oneteaspoon.com.
au). Shoes:
Tony Bianco.

SUNGLASSES
Classic aviator shades
never go out of style.

S t: $159.95,,
Skirt:
Cameo
Ca eo tthee Label
abe Bec,,
((cameothelabel.com.au).) features
editor
Jacket:
Topshop.
Top: Cotton On.
STILL-LIF STYLING BY NICOLE

Skirt: Forever
New. Shoes:
Wanted Shoes.
STYLE DIRECTION AND STILL-LIFE

Lauren P, fashion
office coordinator
Sunglasses: Dita.
SSkirt:
t: $129.99,, Forever
New (forevernew.com.au).

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 53


FASHION
FOR HIRE
Just like playing Snake on your Nokia 3315,
the days of outfit reoffending are over #RIP
L
ets be real for a moment: once
youve uploaded a selfie in that
backless Zara number, wearing
it again to the wedding you
have next weekend just isnt an
option. At least, thats what
youve been telling yourself and your
nonchalant boyfriend all week.
Yep, major #firstworldproblem
and sure, buying a new outfit for every
occasion is about as excessive as David
Beckhams rule about never wearing the
same pair of undies twice. And while
54 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
RENT MY RACK
GOOD FOR: All shapes and sizes
for super-special occasions from
races to red carpet. You can also
buy last-minute makeup essentials.
NOT GOOD FOR: Accessories.
They can only be bought, not hired.
DESIGNERS STOCKED: Aje, Jamie
Ashkar, Be Seduced Luxe, Bec &
Bridge, Fame & Partners, George,
Langhem, Lucid, Nicola Finetti,
Ringuet, Sacha Drake, Seduce,
Shakuhachi, Trelise Cooper,
White Suede.
SIZES: 6-18.
PRICES: Gown rentals start at $99.
SPECIAL SHOUT-OUT: They have a
loyalty program. You get one point
for every $10 spent and every point
gets you a $1 discount.
VISIT: rentmyrack.com.au.
RUNWAY COLLECTION
GOOD FOR: Its awesome selection
of dresses from both Australian
and international designers. And
it has a virtual change room!
NOT GOOD FOR: Accessories. Also,
some of the dresses listed are only
available for purchase and not hire.
clearly we all wear our favourite dress DESIGNERS STOCKED: Alex Perry,
to death, when major events happen Aurelio Costarella, Diane Von
back-to-back, a girls got to get inventive. Furstenberg, Dolce & Gabbana,
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 style edit

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COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 55
OLI VIA
THE

EFFECT
What would Olivia Palermo wear?
If you lived by this fashion mantra, you
would look hands-down awesome
every day. But theres a lot more to this
young woman than just looking good
56 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

I
ts 9.30am in New York City
and Cosmos SWAT cover team
is prepping for the arrival of
our cover girl Olivia Palermo.
Everything shes requested is
in her dressing room. We say
everything; Olivias rider is, quite
frankly, a bit underwhelming. Just
some energy drinks and bottles of
Evian water. Nope, no fancy foods
or exotic flowers. Or kittens (you
missed a trick there, Olivia!). Its
the perfect precursor to meeting
this unassuming 29-year-old.
When the girl who captured
the heart of the notoriously fickle
fashion world arrives, she instantly
introduces herself to every single
member of the team. Tick. Then
she makes a beeline for the mood
board weve put together, listening
carefully as Cosmos stylist takes her
through the shoot concept. Shes
ridiculously elegant. Blazer, white
shirt, jeans, necklace and Oxford
shoes. She looks like an off-duty
princess and its easy to see why her
natural, ladylike style caught the
attention of fashion commentators
when she appeared on MTV show
The City seven years ago.
The Olivia effect gained
momentum and suddenly she was
everywhere: fronting campaigns for
Mango, Carrera y Carrera, Hogan
and Rochas; front row at New York
Fashion Week; on magazine covers;
attending exclusive fashion parties.
Titles like fashionista and style
icon were showered on her. Shes
even been called this eras Audrey
Hepburn. Over-the-top? Slightly
(even we have to concede that). But
such is the love for OPs style that
people gush, GUSH, when talking
about her. And with good reason.
Just name one bad outfit shes ever
worn. One. See what we mean?
So forward-thinking is this
former socialite that shes made her
name a brand, launching her own
website (oliviapalermo.com) to great
success, which she uses to support
youngsters through e-commerce.
Palermos most recent endeavour
is designing a bag for quintessential
British accessories brand Aspinal
cover story
of London. Named the Marylebone
and dubbed as a TechTote, the bag
is stunning (natch) but also highly
practical, with a protective, padded
iPad compartment, cleverly placed
cable paths and even an optional
charger to boost the battery of your
gadgets while on the go.
And get this: 100 per cent of
the proceeds of Palermos limited-
edition design will go to ADCAM,
a charity that shes been a long-time
supporter of, which aims to help
improve the way of life in Maasai
communities [in southern Kenya
and northern Tanzania] through
co-operation projects and social
initiatives. Good one. Time to get
to know our life crush a bit better.
When did you first fall
in love with fashion?
As a child I loved dressing up, but
as I got to my late teens and early
twenties, fashion kind of evolved
through me and I grew a lot more
interested in it. My mum and aunt
have always been very fashionable,
so its in my heritage.
Youve said fashion has a
lot to do with good taste.
Would you say that can be
learnt or do people have to
be born with it?
A bit of both as you grow older,
your eye evolves. Im sure every
fashion editor would tell you that
as the years go by, you learn more
and things get easier, but you have
to have a basis for it.
Its been a varied career:
youve been a model, TV
star, designer What have
you enjoyed the most?
I think that for me, Im fortunate
because everything I do connects
into each other, whether its styling,
editing, consulting, designing or
modelling. I mean, I love modelling
because Ive been very fortunate to
work with amazing people, travel
around the world and work with
some incredible photographers
and I think the whole experience of
travelling and being in lots of >
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 57

different cultures is the best education
someone can have. And then styling is
great fun, too.
What are the choices youve
made in your career and life
that have benefited you most?
Im really fortunate that I get to do so
many different things with my business.
I think one thing that Im most proud
of is working with my friend William
[Kikanae Ole Pere, a Maasai warrior
and leader of the Maasai Project, which
sees members of the tribe contributing
to a footwear range for Spanish brand
Pikolinos]. I work with Pikolinos [as
Maasai Project ambassador] to bring
stability to women in their own homes
58 cosmopolitan.com.au to subscribe call 136 116
in Maasai, Africa; so to me thats the
most rewarding thing Ive been able
to do to help the women of Maasai.
How different is your persona
in the fashion world to Olivia
Palermo the human being?
Well, you have the business side and the
non-business side [laughs]. But thats a
really good question. I like taking a day
with my girlfriends, going to [Londons]
Portobello Market, going through all
the flea markets and just looking out for
beautiful brooches and art-deco pieces
plus going to art galleries is always
nice. We travel to a lot of places that we
havent been to, but I also enjoy being
home and taking time for myself.
i think its
important
to always
have your
own sense
of style
Do you think accomplished,
beautiful and stylish women
like you intimidate men?
I dont know. Im very lucky to have
Johannes [Huebl, a model and Olivias
husband]. Were a great team and hes
clearly not intimidated. But I think you
should never close yourself off too much
and you should always be personable. If
youre too shut off, that can be negative
for you, and you might not meet as many
interesting people.
Words and intervieW by Paulina Canales. PhotograPhy by randall slavin. styling by gerard angulo. translation by Carlos soto
What is the secret of a
successful relationship?
I think trust and communication, and
supporting one another. Honesty, love
and respect, really.
You always look perfect. Do
you ever get any self-doubt?
Thank you! I think you have to feel
secure within yourself and I do, so no,
I dont have doubt; Im secure in myself.
So, what would you say to any
young girls who feel insecure
about themselves?
You have to feel comfortable in your
skin, especially when getting dressed.
Trends are important, but there are
always ways to incorporate them slightly
and subtly in your own sense of style. I
think its important to always have your
own sense of style.
Whats your motto?
Its a quote from Rosalind Russell in
[1958 film] Auntie Mame: Live, live,
live! You shouldnt take things too
seriously enjoy [life] a little bit. #
 cover story
Im never too tired to:
A) Go to the club
B) Travel
C) Hang with my family
D) Shopping
E) Other:

Every woman should have:

Nickname... One experience that I would

love to live again is:

The three most listened

to songs in my iPod are:

The most important beauty

product in my bag is:

Sometimes I wake up at midnight

and feel like:
My beauty secret is:

My fashion icon is:

I think that a man is sexy when he:
A) Has an amazing body
B) Calls his mum once a day
C) Is a good dancer
D) Has a sexy voice on the phone
E) Is a bad boy The best fashion advice
F) Other: Ive received is:

I know that Im in love when:

Every woman should have in her closet:

I feel attractive when: My celeb crush is:

Something that no one would ever I wanna be known for:

imagine about me is that:

Draw yourself here:

What Ive learnt about love:

cosmopolitan June 2015 59

 INSIDE
THE
CULT OF
#HEALTHSPO
Health bloggers Jessica Ainscough and Belle
Gibson hit the headlines this year for their
dietary approaches to tackling cancer. But
is social medias obsession with extreme
wellness trends putting our health at risk?

60 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 W
hen health blogger
Jessica Ainscough
passed away in
February, her online
community was
shocked. 30-year-
old Jessica was the very picture of health
and wellness. She drank up to 13 raw
vegetable juices every day and had daily
coffee enemas. She had thousands of
followers and was also known as The
Wellness Warrior. She had published
a book about her health journey and
she regularly updated her website with
delicious and nutritious recipes.
The thing is, Jessica was diagnosed
with a rare form of cancer, epithelioid
sarcoma, back in 2008, so nobody should
have been surprised when she sadly
passed away. Its an aggressive cancer
that usually strikes young adults (Jessica
was 22 when she was diagnosed) in their
extremities (Jessicas was in her left arm
and hand). After initially undergoing
chemotherapy, which appeared to help
temporarily before the cancer returned,
doctors recommended Jessica have her
arm amputated at the shoulder truly
a difficult decision for anyone to have to
make, let alone a young woman on the
verge of starting her adult life. She later
wrote on her blog, The way I saw it, I
had two choices: I could rely on the slash,
poison and burn method offered to me
by the medical profession or I could
take responsibility for my illness and
bring my body to optimum health so
that it [could] heal itself. For me it was
an easy decision. Jessica decided to
follow the principles of Gerson therapy,
a controversial nutritional program that
claims to activate the bodys ability to
heal itself through an organic, plant-
based diet, raw juices, coffee enemas and
natural supplements.
When it comes to beating cancer,
prioritising your health is incredibly
important and, in some ways, Jessicas
decision to turn her back on modern
medicine can be seen as understandable.
Either way, life as she knew it was over
she could amputate a limb (which, with
INSTAGRAM; GETTY IMAGES
her disease apparently being incurable,
doctors said would only hope to prolong
her survival), or she could try something
else entirely. Jessica chose to pursue
Gerson therapy instead of continuing
with chemotherapy. And, according to
some, the decision to turn her back on
scientifically proven, evidence-based
methods may have cost her her life.
For nutritionist and dietitian Lyndi
Polivnick (thenudenutritionist.com.au),
the decision to invest in our health is an
obvious one with boundaries. Im a was recently slammed with allegations
supporter of using food as preventative
medicine; whole foods are absolutely a
great way to prevent disease, the science
is there. But there are limits. No amount
of broccoli or kale is going to cure your
cancer. After all, if there was a cheap,
easy way to get rid of cancer wouldnt
it be gone by now?
Sadly, Jessicas mother was
diagnosed with breast
cancer in 2011 and,
like Jessica, is said
to have also shunned
conventional medicine
YOU SHOULD
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY
in favour of Gerson
FOR YOUR
therapy. Sharyn
Ainscough reportedly
declined any scans or
HEALTH,
biopsies to pinpoint
exactly what type of
breast cancer she had,
and passed away in
2013. By the end of
BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN
PUTTING
2014, Jessica returned
to her blog after quite
a notable absence,
explaining that shed
spent much of the year
bedridden due to her
cancer taking hold
again, which had
caused over 10
BLIND
FAITH
IN ANYONE WITH AN
INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT
months of non-stop
bleeding from [my]
armpit [which] has
rendered me really weak. Despite her
family indicating that she did turn to
conventional medicine in the end, by
February 2015, Jessica had devastatingly
passed away from her cancer.
Extremism can be more tempting
than moderation. Saying a blanket no
to food groups or practices is often easier
than trying to moderate, says Polivnick.
When youre faced with doctors giving
you worst-case scenarios like having
your arm cut off, or therapists telling
you itll be OK if you drink their juices,
Jesss choice becomes understandable.
The Belle Gibson
controversy
And its not just Jesss tragic case thats
brought extreme health to the front
pages of news sites everywhere. Belle
Gibson, founder of The Whole Pantry,
that she lied about curing her brain
cancer through switching to a plant-
based diet. She published a cookbook
(which has since been pulled in Australia),
had a bestselling app and a huge social
media following. Shes thought to have
convinced masses of people that her
recovery from cancer was down to her
change in diet, and she made a lot of
money from it but
there are doubts she
ever had cancer at all.
Promoting a cure for
a disease that might
never have existed? If
true, it means Gibson
fooled a lot of people
(including us Cosmo
awarded Belle a Fun,
Fearless Female Award
for her app in 2014).
There are also claims
that Belle lied about
donating a portion of
her businesss profits
to charity. Scratching
your head over all of
this? Theres also the
fact that Belle claimed
the HPV vaccine was
linked to her brain
tumour, a claim
that may have even
influenced people to
believe the vaccine
might be harmful when its unclear if
she had evidence to support that.
Similarly, Perth woman Candice-
Marie Fox claims she beat her thyroid
cancer through just hardcore nutrition,
loving myself and meditating, according
to The Daily Mail. While amidst the
scandal shes actively distancing herself
from the likes of Belle by obtaining her
medical records and saying shell make
them public, the fact remains that
there is absolutely no evidence to
suggest that dietary changes alone can
cure any sort of cancer. >
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 61
 The paleo problem
Then theres celebrity chef Pete Evans,
who has come under fire for promoting
his belief in a paleo diet for babies and
toddlers with his book, Bubba Yum Yum:
The Paleo Way. The book, which was due
to be published by Pan Macmillan in
March, was pulled after health experts
raised concerns about its recipes. In fact,
Professor Heather Yeatman from the
Public Health Association of Australia
warned Evans recipe for DIY baby
formula made from chicken liver and
bone broth may in certain cases even
have the potential to kill a child (owing
to its high levels of vitamin A, which
can cause serious illness or death in
large quantities). Evans stands by the
book and plans to self-publish it with
a disclaimer. In the past, hes linked
our current diet with rising levels of
autism and, in response to a Fairfax
journalist asking, Are grains bad for
everyone? said, We are producing
weaker and weaker offspring as the
generations progress. Its quite a
statement hes making particularly
when you stop and remember that
Evans is a chef with no background
in genetics or science.
And lets not forget FreeLee the
Banana Girl (aka Leanne Ratcliffe), a
South Australia-based YouTube vlogger
who swears by her diet of eating only
raw fruits and greens until 4pm and
can sometimes eat up to 51 bananas a
day. She believes that menstruation is
actually toxicity leaving the body
and that cancer patients are taken
way before their time by chemotherapy.
She does claim to have a nutrition
degree but admits to not calling on
her education very often because of
its lack of accuracy.
62 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
When #healthspo
turns dangerous
Of course, the issue is not that Jessica
or any of the people mentioned here
chose to put their faith in alternative
therapies or controversial diets over
conventional medicine and government-
endorsed healthy eating plans after
all, everyone has a right to their own
beliefs. The real issue is that, through
social media, millions of people globally
have put their blind faith in Gerson
therapy, Paleo dieting, The Whole
Pantrys diet and raw veganism, and
may have even been influenced to shun
scientifically proven medicine and
treatments in favour of trying unproven
alternative therapies. All based entirely
on these social media personalities
and not one of them with a medical
degree or accreditation.
While some facets of these diets
may be music to nutritionists ears (eat
more vegetables! You dont need nearly
that much sugar!), they all take healthy
eating to the absolute extreme. You
have to wonder, with any diet, is this
too good to be true? Polivnick says,
talking about the unscientific claims
being made by the likes of Evans and
Gibson. [People] should absolutely
take responsibility for [their] health,
but that doesnt mean putting blind
faith in just anyone with an Instagram
account. [Make sure you] look for
accredited, practising dietitians. Ask
for their degrees. Where do they work?
Who endorses them? And what exactly
are they telling you? If the results
sound like theyre too good
to be true,
well they
probably
are.
I got death threats
when I told my
vegan followers my
diet had led to an
eating disorder
US-based Jordan
Younger had legions
of followers for her
blog as The Blonde
Vegan. But when her
complete dedication
to her vegan lifestyle
became an obsession, she realised she
had developed orthorexia, a dangerous
eating disorder where sufferers have an
extreme preoccupation with avoiding
food they perceive to be unhealthy.
This is her brave story.
I had been a strict vegan for about
18 months when I started to have serious
health problems. My periods stopped,
my skin was a disaster and I was always
exhausted. I knew that something was
wrong. I turned to a nutritionist, who
told me I was deficient in vitamin B12
and needed to boost my intake with fish.
Instead of feeling relief that I had
a solution, I was terrified. I couldnt
eat fish, I was vegan. I was The Blonde
Vegan. I was completely panicked. Thats
when it hit me: I had an eating problem.
Before I started my blog in 2013,
I ate pretty normally. Ive always had
a sensitive stomach, so I avoided dairy
and wheat, although I did eat fish and
poultry. But then a few years ago, I did
a five-day plant-based cleanse; five days
of fruit, vegetables and nuts thats it.
It felt incredible. For the first time in
my life I was able to eat without getting
 stomach
problems, so I
thought Id found
the cure! I vowed to
never go back to my
old eating habits. I
THERE IS A
FINE LINE
BETWEEN
EATING
added grains to my
diet and became a
plant-based vegan.
When I first
started my blog, The
Blonde Vegan, the
response was massive.
HEALTHILY
AND BECOMING
In the first few weeks
alone I got over 3000
followers. I really loved
that my audience was
OBSESSED
interested in eating well.
My vegan diet
typically included green smoothies,
a lot of salads and roasted vegetables.
Everything I ate was homemade, without
oil, salt or seasonings. I also did a lot of
juice cleanses, each lasting up to 10 days.
My stomach issues returned over
time, so I became more passionate about
trying different vegan diets. I tried raw
veganism (nothing is cooked above 48C)
and the 80-10-10 diet, where you get 80
per cent of your calories from [carbs,
primarily] fruit, 10 per cent from protein
and 10 per cent from fat. I juiced, and
I tried diets where you dont eat past
6pm or dont eat breakfast. It became
impossible for me to eat out or have a
social life my diet was all-consuming.
And yet, still I had indigestion,
pain and bloating. I wasnt myself. Id
been in training for a half-marathon
and injured my ankle. It wasnt healing
INSTAGRAM; GETTY IMAGES
properly, which Id never experienced
before. It was my body telling me that
something was wrong. The truth was,
I just wasnt eating enough, or getting
enough variety in my diet. I now realise
I didnt have
the vitamins
and minerals in
my body to recover
from working out,
but I thought I could
find some magical
cleanse that would
make me feel better.
I became obsessed.
My friends and
family were concerned
but didnt want to say
anything for fear of
offending me. And they
were right; when people
did bring it up, I was
extremely offended. I felt
like they were unsupportive
and didnt understand or care about my
complete dedication to veganism.
Deep down, I knew something
was wrong. I was depressed; I couldnt
think clearly. Everything I did was all
about food. But I never connected the
feelings to an eating disorder. It was
only when a friend described her own
battle with an eating disorder that I
thought, Oh my God, thats me! I had
hidden behind the guise of my healthy
eating so much that I hadnt been able
to see that it was a disorder. I realised
I had a problem, and a few days later
went to see my friends therapist and
nutritionist to start my recovery.
Big announcement,
angry vegans
Opening up about my recovery on my
blog was terrifying. I was afraid that
my whole brand would come crumbling
down. My therapist encouraged me to
be as honest as possible with people. If
youre portraying yourself to be living
a life that youre not, it creates anxiety
the last thing I needed. It took a few
weeks to form the right words and when
I uploaded my post, titled Why Im
transitioning away from veganism, my
site crashed within two minutes. There
was a lot of positive feedback from people
who had similar issues. That felt great.
But there was a lot of negativity,
too. I lost thousands of followers and
got angry comments from vegans and
animal-rights activists telling me I was
a hypocrite and a liar. I got death threats
from people, and not just directed at me
at my family, too. I couldnt sleep. I
spent hours and hours deleting messages
from my Facebook wall so they didnt
flood my entire page with negativity.
I was shocked because I was always
a huge advocate of veganism and part
of that was trying to make non-vegans
see that it was a very non-judgemental
practice. Then all this happened. I am
quite happy to be disassociated with
the vegan label.
Now, Im The Balanced Blonde.
I eat fish, chicken and eggs, while still
enjoying a fairly plant-based diet. I no
longer stress about eating treats in
Italy recently I ate gelato, pizza and
pasta. It might not sound like a big deal,
but it was to me. And Ive gained about
three times as many followers as I lost!
People are drawn to a balanced lifestyle.
Theres a fine line between eating
healthily and becoming obsessed. I didnt
have refined sugar for two years not
even a bite of something homemade! Now
I see that having a bite is not a big deal.
Im sure it sounds funny to people who
have never experienced these issues but,
before this happened to me, I would
never have imagined myself behaving
that way. It can happen to anyone.
Lauren Sams #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 63
 I had a breast
reduction and my
BOOBS

GREW
BACK
 Her whole life, Jessica Matlin wished women have macromastia [the medical
term for extremely large breasts] is that
for smaller boobs. But once she got their breast tissue has an exaggerated
response to oestrogen, the hormone that
them, her body quickly betrayed her stimulates breast growth. He said it
may be hereditary, and for some women
even if you remove the breast tissue, the

I
had boobs before I could even do The kilos melted away and I came
long division. Even at the age of out of my shell. I began saying what I
five, I had those fat little mounds. thought, owning my very silly sense of
In Year 3, when the kids on the bus humour and going out with dudes Id
spotted my training bra the first previously considered out of my league.
theyd ever seen I screamed, red- I understood that cheesy line formerly
faced, Its an undershirt! Then I had obese people say in advertorials after
a good cry in the guidance counsellors losing half their body weight: I had
office. By Year 7, I was a full-blown a new lease on life!
C-cup, which put me on most girls shit But two years after my breast
list. As a D-cup in high school, I was a reduction, I started feeling the creep.
pro at ignoring guys pervy stares. It happened the way it does if youve
By Year 11, I was sobbing in the ever put on weight. You feel yourself
Myer lingerie section, sifting through getting bigger but swear its just from
the DD offerings. I just dont know the sodium in last nights takeaway or
where this gene came from, my mum PMS anything. My arms had started
said, perplexed. Must be your fathers brushing the outer edges of my boobs,
side. Theyre Russian. and I felt gross if I didnt put on a bra
I thought about having a breast first thing in the morning. Id also find
reduction and, while myself slouching my
I was in uni, spilling shoulders to disguise
out of a DDD bra, my true size, I had
I applied to have the I knew I'd gotten amassed a closet of
procedure through bigger, but this was drapey black tops,
my insurance. When
the approval letter
practically back to and I got quieter.
(Ill admit that I was
finally arrived, I felt square one. It was always struggling
like Id just broken like I was possessed with 5kg after uni,
out of jail.
Surgery was
by The Girl With but it seemed my
boobs were steadily
intense. Post-op, my Big Boobs growing, whether I
boobs itched from was having a skinny
the inside, and I had or a heavy year.)
to sleep with ice packs on my chest. But When I went to buy some new
I rarely complained, because I was so bras, a salesperson offered to measure
elated. Once my boobs settled down, me. Mimi. Ill never forget her name,
they were perfect 12Cs, and looked like because I was staring at her name tag
J-Los in that famous Versace dress. (Id when she delivered the blow: Youre a
shown the doc the pic for reference.) 12DD, love. Before she could even coil
The first year after the op, I was up her measuring tape, I started to feel
on a natural high. I remember bounding claustrophobic. I knew Id gotten bigger,
PHOTOGRAPHY BY FABIO HEIZENREDER
remaining tissue can still have that
response to the circulating oestrogen.
I still wanted a second operation,
even though the obvious question hung
in the air: would this happen again?
Dr Pecoraro said theres no way
to predict whose breasts will grow back;
turns out I was just unlucky. Its very
unlikely it would happen again, he said,
explaining that at 27, the chances were
much slimmer than they were when I
was 20, when my oestrogen levels were
especially active. With zero hesitation
I booked myself another appointment,
forking out the savings Id squirreled
away over the years.
I knew what to expect from Dr P
(the J-Lo, thanks!), but I was surprised
by peoples reactions when I told them
I was going in for round two. While a
few were supportive theyd seen how
self-conscious my big boobs made me
others looked at me with big blinking
eyes, asking if I had tried one of those
minimisers. Some implied that going
for plastic surgery once was pretty vain.
Twice? Well, that was just indulgent, in
a Real Housewives sort of way. But the
worst offenders were people offering me
earnest, life-coachy rhetoric like, Dont
you think this is a sign that this is how
your body is meant to look?
I ignored all of it. Having lived
with both big and small boobs, I know
what feels right for me.
Boobs do what now?!
What: It is possible (although rare) to
experience regrowth after a breast
reduction. This is called hypertrophy.
Why: This is because living glandular

up the stairs to my friends apartment
wearing a black cami no bra and zero
bounce. I bought loads of sporty Calvin
Klein bralets. And since having smaller
boobs made me realise that I wasnt
actually fat my DDDs had made me
feel matronly Id started to hit the
gym and eat a lot better.
but this was practically back to square
one. It was like I was possessed by The
Girl With Big Boobs.
How could this have happened?
My surgeon, Dr Michael Pecoraro, had
only seen this happen about four times
in 20 years. He explained the science
behind it: One of the reasons some
tissue, although reduced, remains in
the breasts. The main causes of post-
op hypertrophy are weight gain, age
(oestrogen levels are higher in young
women, making regrowth more likely),
menopause, pregnancy and medication
that affects hormone levels. #

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 65

He said WHAT
 at work?
ALL PHOTOGRAPHY BY JELENA JOJIC/LUMINA/STOCKSY. THESE PHOTOGRAPHS ARE OF PROFESSIONAL MODELS AND ARE FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY

A link to a porn video that pops up

on Google Chat. A comment about
how hot you look as you walk by a
co-workers desk. Not only has
workplace sexual harassment not
gone away, its actually taken on
new forms. We explain how to know
when someone has crossed the
line and how to make it stop >
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 67
P
icture this: Youre a young female
doctor, just learning the ropes at
a major hospital, when a senior
colleague kisses you, touches your
breasts and asks you if youd like
to have sex with him.
Youre scared, vulnerable
and confused. But also outraged.
So you go to your boss to report
being sexually harassed. He says,
What do you expect when you
dress the way you do?
When you sue the hospital
you work at, you win $100,000
in damages, but it doesnt much
matter because during the whole
process you spent $250,000 in
legal fees. You find you cant get
a job in any public hospital no
one will hire you.
And seven years after your
lawsuit has ended, a senior female
surgeon reflects on the case and
tells the media, I tell my trainees
that, if you are approached for sex,
probably the safest thing to do in
terms of your career is to comply
with the request.
Sounds like its the stuff of
fiction, right? Unfortunately, its
not. Its what actually happened
to Victoria-based Dr Caroline
Tan, and its sparked the sexual
harassment conversation that we
desperately needed to have.

Whats the grossest before and perhaps, also more

confusion about whats off limits.

thing anyones ever

As the workplace starts to feel
more laid-back (your boss is your

said to you at work?

For tech entrepreneur
Gesche, 30, it was an out-
of-the-blue, late-night email from
a male co-worker, that said: Take
off your underwear, put it in a bag
and leave it on my desk.
For bartender Tiffany, 25, it
was an inappropriate remark from
a male customer: I know where
to get some really good coke if
you want to do a line off my dick.
(Yes, he really said that.)
And for bank teller Joanna,
28, it was her female supervisor
allegedly talking nonstop about
breasts and penises, as well as
graphically describing her sexual
encounters. It didnt feel like a
bank, she says. It was a hostile,
sexual environment. As a person,
it really degrades you.
This is sexual harassment
in 2015, with more ways to creep
on someone at work than ever
Facebook friend, your co-workers
text you after hours, everyone in
the office meets for Friday arvo
drinks), more subtle forms of
sexual harassment are taking a
psychological and economic toll
on women all across the country.
With the advent of social
media, there is now a more casual
relationship between co-workers
Graphically and supervisors, and that creates
describing more opportunity for people to
sexual find themselves crossing the line
acts he between professional and more
fantasised unprofessional conduct, explains
about David Lowe, a San Francisco
26-year-old
woman in retail employment lawyer.

68 cosmopolitan.com.au to subscribe call 136 116


Being told
I needed to be
sexy at work
breast implants,
bronzer, more
makeup.
36-year-old woman in
medical/health care
Lowe represented Tinders
former marketing vice-president
Whitney Wolfe, who just last year
sued the popular dating app for
sexual harassment. Wolfe claimed
that a Tinder executive, whom she
briefly dated, stripped her of her
co-founder title, saying, according
to her civil complaint, that itd be
slutty to be a female co-founder
of a hook-up app. Her lawsuit also
alleged that he subjected Wolfe
to sexist, racist, and otherwise
inappropriate comments, emails,
and text messages, including
calling her a whore in front of
co-workers at a company party.
The impact on her was clear from
the texts she sent a friend: The
shit he says makes me wanna
kill myself, and later, Hes so
low and nasty, I might quit. The
executive later resigned. Wolfe,
who declined to comment, ended
up settling with Tinder for an
undisclosed amount. The company
did not admit any wrongdoing.
Despite advancements in
the career space by women, sexual
harassment didnt fade away with
the Mad Men era. A 2012 study
conducted by the Human Rights
Commission found that one in
four women are sexually harassed
in the workplace. Most of these
harassers (90 per cent) were men
and, sadly but not surprisingly,
the most targeted group is also
probably the most vulnerable:
young women aged 18-24. Over
half the inappropriate behaviour
reported was sexually suggestive
comments or offensive jokes and
in this new world where the lines
between work and home become
blurrier, this might seem like an
inevitability. But its still offensive,
its still enough to make someone
uncomfortable (at best) and whats
more, its still illegal.
Work is no longer confined
to our offices, points out federal
sex discrimination commissioner
Elizabeth Broderick. But although
the lines between professional and
personal spaces may be less clear
to some people, the law is there
to protect you. There is a clear
difference between Did you have
a good weekend?, which is fine,
and Did you get some on the
weekend?, which is not, explains
Broderick. Unwelcome conduct
that intimidates, humiliates or
offends infringes on your basic
human rights and is illegal, she
adds. Whats more, if a co-worker
harasses you outside the office
(say in a taxi, or at a bar, or even
when youre getting your morning
coffee), it still counts as workplace
sexual harassment and you still
have grounds to complain.
Debunking the myth that
its the lecherous male boss who
is most likely to sexually harass
women, most women polled 52
per cent say they were targeted
1 in 4
women have been sexually
harassed at work.
by male co-workers, compared to
22 per cent by male managers and
employers. Another 10 per cent
say their harasser was a female
co-worker. Other women we spoke
to were harassed by clients in
fact, Broderick says that her own
experience with a client when she
was a young lawyer is what made
her determined to broaden sexual
harassment laws to include this
form of abuse.
not just a bum grab
The thing is, many of us still tend
Asking to think of sexual harassment as
if Ive ever quid pro quo offers of a promotion
wanted in exchange for sex the kind of
to make thing that happened to Dr Tan.
out with So when faced with less obvious
someone forms of harassment especially
at work. from a co-worker, not a boss
25-year-old
woman in arts/ we sometimes question ourselves
entertainment instead of the harassers. Sexually
suggestive emails, messages and
My boss comments on social media are all
told a becoming more common, making
female it difficult at times to know where
supervisor
that I had you yourself draw the line. Should
nice tits you be the cool girl at work who
and arse. shrugs off your workmates stories
33-year-old about his hook-ups? A survey by
woman in science/
tech/engineering
US Cosmopolitan confirms this
industry confusion: 16 per cent of women
polled answered no when asked
Sexist outright if theyve been sexually
comments harassed at work but said yes
like to experiencing sexually explicit
Shes the or sexist remarks at their jobs.
beauty, A lot of people who call our
Im the hotline arent sure if what theyre
brains. experiencing is harassment, says
28-year-old in
commmunications Noreen Farrell, executive >
cosmopolitan June 2015 69
 director of the not-for-profit US
civil-rights law firm Equal Rights
Advocates. Then they tell us that
they get persistent comments and
dating requests, and co-workers
are calling women bitches. Nearly
100 per cent of those callers are
experiencing sexual harassment.
If someones comments single you
out for being a woman and are
severe or pervasive enough they
can add up to create a hostile work
environment, which is a legal
definition of harassment.
Other cases are less clear,
and the lines increasingly blurry.
For example, when two people
who work in the same industry
meet on Twitter and go out for
drinks and talk shop, one of them
may see it as a business meeting
and the other may consider it a
personal hangout.
Take the case of Hannah
Waters, a 27-year-old science
writer, and Bora Zivkovic, the
influential (now former) editor
of Scientific American magazines
blog network. Waters says that
Zivkovic began promoting her
blog posts online after they met
in 2010, which she admits helped
launch her career. But she told
90
friends she was disturbed by what
she describes as lingering hugs
and a Twitter DM that read I
love you!!! By 2011, hed hired
of harassers in the
Workplace are men.
70 cosmopolitan.com.au to subscribe call 136 116
her to write for Scientific American.
At a tweetup for science writers,
she says she felt uncomfortable
when he handed her a rose from
a street vendor and jokingly
called her his concubine.
Waters hesitated to call this
sexual harassment at first, but in
2013, she and two other writers
Kathleen Raven and Monica
Byrne wrote blog posts accusing
Zivkovic of sexual harassment. It
wasnt overt, textbook, grabbing
a bum, or asking me on a date,
explains Waters of her experience
with Zivkovic, but I felt deeply
uncomfortable and sexualised and
it created anxiety problems for
me. I wanted to make a career as
a writer on my own merit but it
Whistles felt like it wasnt my work that
and catcalls was being elevated.
from Zivkovic, on the other hand,
across the denies he acted inappropriately
parking lot towards any of the women and
and in says the incidents they labelled
front of harassment were actually simple
other co- misunderstandings that didnt
workers. happen in professional settings
29-year old
woman in medical/ or circumstances. This is a small
health care community we were all friends
or trying to become friends, he
Being says. We were building a more
called dear,
egalitarian world of online science
sweetie, writing. We all met [each other]
cutie, etc. in social settings and had drinks
31-year-old in
arts/entertainment together. Nobody felt this was a
%
working environment. Zivkovic
says the concubine comment,
for example, was an innocuous
joke. He says he and Waters were
smoking outside a bar when he
bought a rose for his wife, who
was inside. When the salesman
gave him two, he says he joked,
to the salesman, not to Waters,
Whats that, one for the wife, one
for the concubine? And as for the
Twitter DM, Zivkovic argues the
word love can convey friendship
and admiration.
Why you should report
In the aftermath of the Scientific
American controversy, Raven says
she is now much more likely to
call out behaviour that makes her
uncomfortable. At a past job, an
editor sent me some Facebook
messages, saying, How old are
you? Your blouse looks nice. How
long have you been married for?
I took this guy aside and I said
to him, Those comments were
inappropriate, could you please
not make them? He didnt seem
happy about being confronted, but
he did stop messaging me with
personal questions. These are the
small things that most women
push aside but it was interfering
with my ability to focus at work.
Thats the thing about reporting
the Human Rights Commission
survey shows that 45 per cent of
the respondents who did make a
complaint to HR found that the
harassment stopped within a
month. Still, only 20 per cent of
those harassed made a complaint.
Part of the reason is because
reporting bad behaviour can be
complicated. Theres a part of me
that does understand why women
dont report it, says Broderick.
Women can be victimised if they
report, and their careers derailed.
And its quite hard to stand up to
sexism in a culture that [continues
to] perpetuate it. But there is a
good reason to report: of the 20
per cent who did, 79 per cent said
they were satisfied or highly
satisfied with the outcome. Its a
good place to start.
But theres another often
unmentioned part of the solution:
bystander intervention. This is
so effective, says Broderick. Its
a way for somebody within the
workplace to start to change the
status quo by saying, Were not
going to put up with this. And it
can help take the pressure off the
victim. So like those old terrorist
ads said, If you see something,
say something. And if you can
say something in the heat of the
moment, all the better. A lot of
offices have the unfunny joker,
notes Broderick. Someone who
thinks its hilarious to talk about
womens body parts or to make
sexually suggestive jokes and
 A former boss gawking at
women, commenting on
their body parts and how
hed do things to them.
34-year-old woman in retail

Wait, was I
just harassed?
then backtrack and say he didnt Trust your gut if youre feeling uncomfortable or
mean anything by it. Research stressed about someones behaviour at work, you have
shows that those jokers say these the right to say something. Here are some ways to respond
things to raise their own status
so simply take it away again by A co-worker A co-worker The person who Youre a bit too
saying, I dont find that funny. makes a single or group of is harassing you nervous to make
If you cant confront the person, inappropriate co-workers is is an ex. a report yourself.
speak to your manager or HR. comment or repeatedly giving Take the same Bring your work
Sadly, the outcome of many sends a creepy you unwanted steps. It doesnt bestie with you for
sexual harassment issues is that email or text. sexual or sexist matter if you were moral support. And
Talk to the person attention. once a couple or ask if any other co-
the woman ends up leaving the
face-to-face if Tell your manager had a consensual workers are dealing
company what Broderick calls
possible to avoid (in writing, but hook-up. If their with it. Then, report
forced resignation. When I see confusion. Say: follow up in person) current behaviour it together.
women changing their behaviour, That makes me that Mr or Ms X is is unwanted and
WORDS BY MICHELLE RUIZ. ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY LAUREN SAMS

or thinking they have to leave a uncomfortable. making crude is hurting you at You told your
job that they love, I am deeply Please dont say comments and its work, it counts management, but
saddened, she says. Reporting that to me again. making it hard for as harassment. theyre not doing
does make a difference. Speaking Check out your you to work. The anything about it.
up isnt only for you, its also for company manual harasser should be The person whos Ignoring a report
every woman who works in that or ask HR if there removed or at least harassing you is of harassment or
company. Harassment shouldnt is a procedure for warned, depending your manager. retaliating against
how to report on the situation and Check out your you for reporting
be the price of a paycheck or just
harassment and a on company policy. company manual is unlawful. Go to
something women need to put up or guidelines to
neutral employee humanrights.gov.
with in order to get ahead. As Dr to report it to. see if theres a au/complaints/
Tan told The Age, I dont think Dont respond to safe senior contact make-complaint
anyone should give in to blatant texts or emails, but to report it to, or for more info on
sexual harassment because [their] screenshot them even just your reporting your
career depends on it. Hear, hear! just in case. HR department. company. >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 71

 Aggressive
flirting after
telling him
I didnt like it.
21-year-old woman in retail
I was harassed but
I didnt speak up.
Heres why.
Georgina
Dent, editor
of Womens
Agenda,
explains how
workplace harassment left her
feeling angry and confused.
Like lots of students studying
law, I took part in a few clerkship
programs. At one firm, I was
quite surprised to discover that
I had been assigned to a practice
group I had listed as my 13th
preference out of 13 choices. I
assumed that this was because
I had ranked below my fellow
clerks so had been assigned my
final preference.
Turns out that wasnt the
case. On our very first day, I was
informed that Id been selected
on the basis of my photo. Even
now, more than a decade later,
I am still disbelieving that this
actually happened. But it did.
And that wasnt the worst
of it. The same partner, in front
of clients and other legal staff,
asked whether I would sleep with
him. I was 22 at the time. He was
72 cosmopolitan.com.au to subscrIbe cAll 136 116
married with children and, at a
guess, double my age. A junior
lawyer intervened and said that
wasnt appropriate. He was told
to be quiet. As if you dont want
to sleep with her, too, was the
retort. The fact it was tabled in
a public setting made it easier to
dismiss; it was as outrageous as
it was offensive.
I tentatively raised it with
human resources but the reaction
just confirmed why I hadnt been
more forthright. The underlying
message was that if something
inappropriate had happened, I
obviously took part in it so I was
somehow responsible. It was as
extraordinary to me then as it is
now. The idea that a summer clerk
wields any power whatsoever over
a large law firm is absurd.
It still angers me that this
happened and I wonder why I
wasnt braver or more willing
to fight it. What I was subject to
didnt ruin my life or my career.
What I was subject to symbolises
and perpetuates a culture that
does ruin, or, at the very least,
limit the careers and lives of so
many women. So why didnt I
raise it with HR straight away?
Because I was 22 and what
power did I have? The people who
had power were either using it to
52
perpetuate the sexist behaviour
or they were using it to protect
perpetuators or to permit other
people to do so.
per cent The partners at the firm
of Harassers are could have modelled appropriate
co-workers. behaviour, could have identified
20
unacceptable behaviour when they
saw it and reported it. They could
have reached out to colleagues
to enlist them. They could have
per cent encouraged their colleagues to
of tHose Harassed develop an attitude about rejecting
made a complaInt. unacceptable behaviour. And they
51
could have supported anyone who
has been subject to this sort of
unacceptable behaviour.
Are these things all easy?
per cent of No. Are some feathers likely to
respondents saId be ruffled? Most likely. But is it
tHeyd taken better than telling someone to
actIon after stay silent in the face of sexual
wItnessIng a
co-worker beIng harassment? Absolutely.
Harassed. When alls said and done,
the standard you walk past is the
standard you accept. #
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 Dear hair
Hurry.
Love, Deanna.

I have
cancer

When youre diagnosed with a rare
cancer at 25, everyone wants you to
spout happy thoughts and sing Kumbaya.
Screw that. US Cosmos beauty editor
Deanna Pai is pissed off and owning it
I
really like to hate-read
wrenching cancer-scare stories,
about how someone found a lump,
but that it wasnt cancer and the
experience changed her forever,
and she now eats kale salads and
has an appreciation of hummingbirds.
Meanwhile, Im busy rummaging
around my desk at work, sniffing out
Twix bars like a truffle pig, when my
doctor calls to tell me that I have two
tumours on my liver. The disease Id
thought was gone for good nearly two
years ago is back. I flee to the office
conference room, call my mum and sob
for 15 minutes. Then I get back to my
to-do list. OK. I have cancer. I need
chemo. And I still need that Twix.
I have hepatoblastoma, a type of
liver cancer (which has nothing to do
with alcohol intake, although my mum
still side-eyes the two-litre bottle of
Bombay Sapphire gin on my bar cart),
and Im on my third of four rounds of
chemo, which in total will take three
months. Chemo, which blindly destroys
cells and, ideally, kills the traitorous
one in the process, comes with a huge
laundry list of side effects: infertility,
nerve damage, heart failure, kidney
failure and even leukaemia.
Yes, treating cancer can actually
give you cancer. Treating this disease
with chemo is like playing Whac-A-
Mole with death you either die from
the cancer now or, a few years down
the road, kick it from one of chemos
side effects. My cancer doesnt cause
and it sucks
any symptoms (besides, obviously,
eventual death), but the chemo makes
up for it. I feel like I havent slept since
November. I have so many aches and
pains that I might as well learn to play
bridge and take up backgammon.
But I really want to wife-up my
boyfriend, Tim. I want kids. I want to
see the Northern Lights. So I shut up,
show up, hold out my arm
and let all four chemo
drugs seep into me. I shut up,
Sometimes, Im the show up, hold
Good Cancer Patient. I out my arm
joke with the nurses and
share snacks. Other times,
and let all four
I just sulk in silence. Im chemo drugs
mourning the loss of what seep into me
I believed my entire life
would look like, and in the stages of
grief, Im stuck on Anger. I feel like
indignation will consume me and Ill
have turned into Gollum by the time
this all ends. Im carrying this One together, even if most of them are old
Ring to Rule Them All by myself, and decrepit and have already had the
and its incredibly isolating.
Literally. Hepatoblastoma is the
most common liver cancer in infants,
but I appear to be only the 46th adult
ever diagnosed with it, and my doctor
says Im the first to have caught it in
Stage 1. I was feeling perfectly fine
when my gyno first felt a lump during
a routine exam in early 2013. I told her
Id simply wait for it to go away since
I couldnt feel it myself, but then she
responded by basically shoving me into
the MRI machine, which showed that
said lump was a liver tumour the size
of a grapefruit. A few weeks after that,
I had surgery and the doctors fully
removed it. Chemo was optional, so
I promptly turned it down.
The whole thing happened so
quickly cancer one day and then gone
the next that I didnt actually feel as
if Id legit had cancer. But here I am
now, a full-on bald, weak, bitchy little
cancer patient.
Why is this happening
to me? Look, Im not exactly the
patron saint of healthy habits. I can eat
an entire wheel of cheese in a single
sitting, and Ive never met an oatmeal-
raisin cookie I didnt immediately lick
to mark as my territory. But then I also
swam competitively for 12 years. I run.
And I brew six cups of green tea a day.
I even pop Brussels sprouts like candy
straight from the roasting pan while
Im watching The Mindy
Project. How am I the
cancer patient? How? I
need an explanation, but
it turns out there is none.
Researchers at Baltimores
Johns Hopkins University
found that many types of
cancers are, just like mine,
plain old bad luck.
I feel better in the waiting room
at Memorial Sloan Kettering, NYCs
famed cancer centre, surrounded by all
the other unlucky people. Were in this
chance to live their lives.
Then I step back outside and see
the people whose veins are whole, who
have hair on their heads and who didnt
spend a large part of their morning
being stabbed repeatedly with giant
needles. I hate and envy them all. But
nothing, and I mean nothing, pisses me
off quite like a smoker. Really? You
want to look like me?
My best friend has smoked for
the last 10 years and I lose it when I
spot her, lit cigarette in hand, before
we meet for dinner. I resent her. Ive
smoked for zero years and yet >
 Natalie Portman,
is that you?
somehow Im the one who has to stop
to sit on some randoms doorstep on my
way to work because I cant breathe.
Ive even started to resent my own
relatives. Why? Because literally no other
person in my family has needed chemo.
Is that horrible? Its totally horrible. But
everyone else gets to go to drunk brunch
and run 5km while I sit in my bed and
cry over my numb fingers. Everyone else
gets to have sex and pop out tiny babies
in the old-school way while I have to give
myself shots in the leg so I can harvest
eggs and freeze them before the chemo
makes me infertile. (And probably have
to fork out a couple of thousand dollars
to do so, because God forbid the priciest
health insurance plan out there actually
covers anything.) Everyone else gets to be
normal, while Im trying to figure out a
discreet way to take off my wig in the
restaurant because it feels like its actually
squeezing my brains out of my head.
And yes, I can see you, total
strangers who are gawking at my naked
head. Have you never seen a scalp? Bruce
Willis has been around since the time of
the dinosaurs. Either avert your eyes or
tell me you loved me in Twelve Monkeys.
I get that people freak out, even my
friends on occasion. But if cancer makes
you feel so uncomfortable that you cant
even send me a Hi, how are you? text,
then get over it. My cancer is very busy
right now making me uncomfortable and
cant seem to pencil you in today. And
whatever you do, please dont tell me
I just need to stay positive. Are you an
76 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
oncologist? Do you have a file of clinical
results to show me that demonstrate the
amazing power of positive thinking to
shrink tumours? No? You dont have a
medical degree? Then just shut up and
leave me alone.
Stuart Scott, the late ESPN anchor
who had cancer for seven years, said,
You beat cancer by how you live, why
you live and the manner in which you
live. I really hope this isnt true or else
Im most definitely losing. I am not carpe
diem-ing. I am up to no good. I watch
Netflix all day and try not to spill milk
in my bed while I eat bowl after bowl of
Special K. Sometimes, I only answer the
phone for Tim, just to ask again if hell
pull an A Walk to Remember if it comes
to that. (It wont, he always says. And,
sweetie, that is a terrible movie.)
So no, I am not surviving cancer
or battling cancer or going on some
dumbass cancer journey. My life is just
paused. Honestly, Im not living at all
right now, because a life in which Im
tethered to an IV machine for 10 hours
straight at a time is not mine. It belongs
to cancer. Im in a cancer prison, and I
am chemos bitch.
There is a silver lining, small but
still beautiful: after sitting with me in a
windowless room for three hours while
I had carcinogen pumped into my body,
my best friend quit smoking.
WHAT TO SAY
TO YOUR
CANCER FRIEND
Some friends have been amazing,
and were closer for it. Others have
been MIA, and theyll be seated at
the kids table at my wedding and
wiping juice off their formal wear.
If you have a friend, relative or
co-worker who gets sick, then say
something. Heres what I suggest
DO SAY
Wow. That sucks.
It does. A lot.
Lets commiserate over cider!
DONT SAY
Im sorry.
I never know how to reply, and end
up reassuring people my cancer is
not their fault. Also, its the number
one way to bring down the vibe.
DO ASK
Have I told you about the
three guys Im dating?
I think about cancer 24/7.
Distract me!
DONT SAY
My boyfriends brothers
cats aunt has pancreatic
cancer, so
Is this supposed to be comforting?
Unless your boyfriends brothers
cats aunt is actually a 25-year-old
with hepatoblastoma, please refrain.
PHOTOGRAPHY BY ELIZABETH GRIFFIN. MAKEUP BY MARY GUTHRIE/ABTP
DONT ASK
What do you need?
This is thoughtful but vague.
I dont even know what I need,
and I dont want to ask too
much. Your liver, I guess?
DO ASK
Want me to drop off
some groceries?
Ill never ask for help with food,
laundry or taking me to the doctor
I feel like a burden. #
DONT MISS! IN NEXT
DONTMISS!INNEXT
MONTHS
O HSCOSCOSMOO
10-PAGE SPECIAL

GET THE JOB

YOU WANT!
It ALL starts with
the interview and
Cosmo shows you
how to nail it
The ultimate handshake + eye
contact ratio.
If you were a crayon, what
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Where the eff to sit when there
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Killer hire me outfits.
The one thing to never, ever,
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200+
STYLE BUYS
TO MAKE YOU
LOVE WINTER

JULY ISSUE
ON SALE
MONDAY JUNE 1
 be a o
THE

Ho L st
Everything you need to read, eat, see and do this winter. For
reals this list is so on point its practically a ballerina
 T
hose long, dark winter
evenings snuggled up
on the couch neednt
be a snoozefest. Its
the perfect time of
year to nourish mind
and body with the
best books, music,
TV, food and booze.
Heres what were
looking forward to

TRENDING NOW
Watching festivals
in your underwear
We cant all go to Glastonbury or
Coachella, so live-streaming gigs is
going to be the next big thing. Check
out irocke.com for thousands of shows
you can watch in real time and real
comfort (i.e. on your couch in your
sweats with cheese toastie in hand).
PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARTIN RUSCH/FOLIO-ID.COM. GETTY IMAGES

RIRIS
REIGN
Rihannas 2015 is going to be
Beyoncs 2014. Her Instagrams
back up and running, she was recently
named creative director at Puma,
and she has a new album about to
drop any minute now. Boom!
We cant wait for the
outifts, RiRi. >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 79

 Cook This winter, vegetables are the new
plate stars meat is just a support act.
Sydneys Ester restaurant answers the
call with this crazy-popular dish
ROAST
CAULIFLOWER
WITH ALMOND
SAUCE
YOULL NEED...
1 head of cauliflower
Extra virgin olive oil,
for drizzling
Juice of lemon
cup roasted almonds,
coarsely chopped
1 cup mint leaves
Almond sauce
100g almond meal
150ml water
200g extra virgin olive oil
Brown rice vinegar, to taste
2 egg yolks
CARNIVORE
AND THE NUT OF THE YEAR CONCESSION
If you truly cant go
AWA R D G O E S T O without any animal
PISTACHIO! protein, opt for the meat
of the moment wallaby.
Along with kangaroo,
Believe it or not, comedy helped kickstart this hare, venison and other
trend, with Stephen Colberts hilarious tasty game meats, its
Wonderful Pistachios ad the latest branding trending hard.
wizardry from the supercool nut company.
GRAINS TRUST Quinoa will have to fight it out with kaniwa (pronounced ka-nyi-wa) to be the top ingredient this year. Kaniwa
is darker, nuttier and sweeter than quinoa, so its a serious contender. But in the battle of the superfoods, everybody wins.
80 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
METHOD
1. To make the almond sauce,
place the almond meal in a
saucepan with the water and
a little of the oil, then heat
gently until the almond meal
just starts to swell (this makes
it easier to blend). Pour almond
mixture into a blender and
process to a smooth paste,
then season to taste with
brown rice vinegar and sea
salt. With the blender still
running, add the egg yolks,
then add the oil in a thin,
steady stream until the sauce
is thick and creamy. Season
to taste, then set it aside at
room temperature.
2. Peel the large outer leaves
off the cauliflower, then chop
into quarters. Remove some
of the core and steam on high
for about 10 minutes, or until
a skewer goes into the stem
easily. Set aside to cool at
room temperature.
3. Heat the oven to as hot
as you can get it. Place the
steamed cauliflower in a
roasting tray or a cast-iron
pan and roast for around
10-15 minutes, or until its
dark golden brown. (Any
charred parts will be fine
they add to the flavour.)
4. Remove cauliflower from
the oven and dress simply
with olive oil and lemon juice,
and season with sea salt and
black pepper.
5. To serve, cover a plate with
the almond sauce and sit the
cauliflower on top. Scatter
with almonds and mint.
 boozing
CRUISING FOR A

Dont get left behind when youre in front of the bar.

These drinks are all making serious gains this season

13%
15%
Bottle
cocktails
28%
Shareable punches

Honey-infused whisky
DETOXING?
Have some matcha green
tea, which is packed with
nutrients and antioxidants, Craft gin Herbal liqueur
or try Hollywoods new
favourite bone broth.
19% 25%
RECIPE BY MAT LINDSAY. PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARTIN RUSCH/FOLIO-ID.COM; PHILLIP CASTLETON/BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU. GETTY IMAGES

DECK OUT YOUR

L ten
The top five albums
DIGI TA L DEN we cant wait to
Stuff your phone ccant live withoutt get a load of
Adeles long-awaited
third album.

Anonymous apps like Secret Gwen Stefanis latest

and Canary. The gossip girls oh, how weve
of the world finally have missed you!
a place to dish the dirt. Drakes Views from
Emoji petitions the 6. Bring. It. On.
If enough people Frank Oceans
request a cheese follow-up to
emoji, it will happen. Channel Orange.
Shoefies
For when your face or Kanye Wests
bum simply isnt up seventh studio
to the task. album, So
Help Me God.

G A M E T I M E Dinner-party games are back, and the outrageous (and a lot wrong) Cards
Against Humanity is a blast. This couldnt be cruder if it tried (for example, the person who pooped
last has to start). With an Aussie version out now, its the most fun you can have with pants on. >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 81

 Books
YOU N E E D I N YOU R BR A I N
One a week or so will see you through
winter in genuinely stimulating style

Go Set a Watchman, All the Single Ladies, A Work in Progress,

Harper Lee Jane Costello Connor Franta
One of the most Read about how ladies From YouTube sensation
anticipated books need other ladies, with Connor Franta, 22, comes

+
of the year. Read it a healthy dose of sass. a memoir covering
for the dinner party Then hand it over to your sexuality, body image
conversation alone. mum, cos shell like it too. and the internets power.

SWEET ACTION
Doughnuts, cronuts what will
the next incarnation be?
Donnoli, as it happens. Thats
doughnuts crossed with cannoli for
those playing at home. Do not pass
go, do not count calories, just enjoy.
The trend started in New York, and Very Good Lives: The How to Grow Up: Spinster: Making
you can expect quirky Aussie Fringe Benefits of Failure A Memoir, Michelle Tea a Life of Ones Own,
versions to be hitting the shelves and the Importance of The older you get, the Kate Bolick
any minute now. Imagination, J.K. Rowling more you realise no one Single? Luckily, marriage
Wise words from one of knows what theyre doing! no longer has to define
the biggest creative But Michelle makes you you in the way it did every
successes of our time. feel better about it. generation before you.

THE NEW GUARD WORDS BY EMMA MARKEZIC. PHOTOGRAPHY BY NICK ONKEN. GETTY IMAGES

With Kendall and

W
Kylie making
serious waves
(and overtaking
(a
their sisters
followings on
social media), Purity, Jonathan Franzen The Unfortunate Funny Girl, Nick Hornby
the Jenners The story of a young Importance of Beauty, The guy who penned
womans search for her Amanda Filipacchi Fever Pitch, High Fidelity
are the new father will sell millions Two friends one hot and About a Boy writing
Kardashians. and almost certainly and one plain are both about one womans life
become a hit movie. afraid their looks will as a comedy superstar?
Get it while its hot. preclude true love. Were definitely in!

82 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 joy
ON THE HOME FRONT

the
Dinner parties are back. Even Chanel threw one
in place of a runway at this years Paris Fashion
Week. And whats the one word that will help
make yours a hit? Tablescaping. Yep, its a thing.
Its about artistically arranging your table
setting for maximum effect. Blame Instagram of missing out
if you like, but no dinner party is complete JOMO is the new FOMO. Believe it.
without a strategically placed linen napkin or
two. You dont even need to cook hiring a
caterer is cheaper and more on-fleek than ever.

Over 60 per cent of us binge-watch

our fave TV shows. But for serious
water-cooler cool, heres what to put
on your must-watch list this season

watch
BROAD CITY
Two besties
getting by in NYC
with hilarious
results. Oh, and
Amy Poehler is
an executive
producer. This
is comedy gold.

T H I S S PAC E
EMPIRE
Hip-hop drama
with cameos
by Mary J Blige
and Jennifer
Hudson. Its
family drama,
but not as
you know it.

BETTER
CALL SAUL
This spin-off to
Breaking Bad is
set in 2002 and
is just as good
as the cult show,
only funnier.

IN A LEAGUE OF ITS OWN Unbreakable Kimmy

Schmidt is Tiny Feys latest sitcom. Its like your fave
cheese best served in big chunks and with wine. #

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 83

 thegirls
girls
Why her exs new girlfriend turns Anna Breslaw into a mean girl
F
or about the last six
months, my exs new
girlfriends blog has
occupied the toxic
waste corner of my
brain a place that
was previously reserved for
YouTube videos of people
falling over in public. When
Im having an especially bad
day, I send her posts to my
best friend Julie so she can
confirm for me exactly how
pretentious and mediocre the
new girl in my exs life lets
just call her Pretentia is.
Julie is game for this because,
just yesterday, I reassured
her that based on extensive
Facebook stalking, shes so
much hotter than her current
boyfriends ex-girlfriend.
Thanks to the rise of
social media, it has become
a popular indoor sport to
gather around a screen with
your friends for a thorough
dissection of the woman in
your ex-boyfriends present
(or boyfriends past). Find
her most unflattering angles
in Facebook photos, smirk
at the misspelled hashtags
on her Instagram, and the
person who comes up with
the funniest burn wins. Yet
after this cathartic cattiness
you dont feel better you
just feel empty. Yay?
84 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
The first time I ever
stalked her Insta was shortly
after my ex-boyfriend and I
hooked up for the last time,
when Id heard he was dating
someone new. The very first
photo on her feed was of him
posing with a babe I mean,
a goddamn baby! From the
caption, it was clear that they
were dating. It wasnt their
baby, obviously, but thats
not the point. Once I was
finished crying in the work
toilets, I went into search-
and-attack mode. If Pretentia
had a deleted LiveJournal
post from 1999, I wouldve
found it, read it and sent it
to everyone I know along
with a cruel subject line.
Its a paradox. You see,
most of the time Im a card-
carrying feminist, but this
girls social media footprint
turns me into Evil Cady
from Mean Girls, sniping to
all my friends: I have this
theory that if you cut off all
her hair, she would look like
88
a British man.
OF PEOPLE AGED 18 TO 35
FACEBOOK-STALK EXES
Most of the women
I know are the same way.
They have tons of female
friends, make donations to
the McGrath Foundation
and are outspoken about
womens issues but pull
up a photo of their exs new
girlfriend and they morph
into a hateful Greek chorus
of girl-on-girl bitchiness. It
turns out giving to charity
is the easy part of supporting
the sisterhood. This stuff?
This is way trickier.
And its not just my
friends, either. According
to a study from Western
University in Canada, 88 per
cent of 18- to 35-year-olds
Facebook-stalk their exes,
and 74 per cent have sniffed
around the Facebook page
of their ex-flames newest
partner. Its impossible to
know how many of those
people are women gleefully
pointing out the brand-new
girlfriends acne over wine
and pizza with their friends,
but Id wager its a lot.
Psychotherapist Leslie
Bell, author of Hard to Get:
20-Something Women and the
Paradox of Sexual Freedom,
told me that there are many
reasons why we morph into
dickheads in this scenario.
Firstly, your girl-hate may
be triggered by lingering
feelings of your romantic
investment in the guy. You
are still preserving him as
good in your mind in a way,
she says. On the other hand,
you have no attachment to
[the girlfriend], so theres
nothing lost in critiquing
her and taking her down.
If your break-up was
a shit-show where you were
brutally dumped and yet he
still comes up in conversation
when youve had a few vinos,
lets just say that I hope her
Instagram feed is private.
You may not even be
safe in the sanctuary of your
wine-and-pizza party, says
Bell: Youre [doing this]
with your friends, but theres
a sense of vulnerability. The
tables could turn and you
could be the next victim.
I disagree to an extent
its actually a shameful but
powerful bonding exercise
but at the same time the
prevalence of the nasty habit
certainly does make me more
wary of befriending new
 wehate
ehate
women and getting a knife
in the back. Its crossed my
mind that Pretentia and her
friends have also stalked and
judged me based on my nose,
my weight, my Twitter jokes
and about a million other
inconsequential things that
Ive judged the shit out of
Pretentia for. In my saner
moments, I realise Pretentia
isnt The Worst in fact,
Id probably like her if I met
her randomly in line for an
H&M dressing room. Nope,
Im just guilty of the worst
girl-on-girl offence: blaming
a girl when I should really
be blaming the guy.
I had an unhealthy sort
of relationship with my ex.
(I know. Totally shocking.)
I was constantly trying to be
better for him funnier,
smarter, skinnier, hotter,
more successful so hed
stop being so distant and
actually commit. When he
committed to Pretentia, I
was astounded. Not because
she sucks or anything. Shes
pretty, seems smart, and she
likes him. It was just that
she didnt seem so next-level
amazing. That was who he
wanted all along? He wasnt
keeping me at arms length
TRAVIS RATHBONE/TRUNK ARCHIVE
because he was waiting for a
brain surgeon/part-time
Victorias Secret model?
Why did I bust my arse so
much to make him like me?
Then it occurred to
me that my obsession with
Pretentia had very little to
do with her. It had to do with
my misunderstanding what
he wanted all along. He just
wasnt the right guy for me,
but I fell for him anyway
hard enough to spend the
next three years teetering
between self-improvement
and self-destruction. All
I was doing was dumping
my insecurities on her and
giving myself an anxiety-
nausea-sadness hangover
by keeping up with their
relationship through social
media, which only worked
to prolong my obsession.
This went on more or
less until I met my current
boyfriend, who loves me for
who I really am and, uh,
who would be more than a
little bit disturbed to find
my exs girlfriends Insta
account on my computers
search history.
So I finally let it all go.
I stopped checking up on
her social media pages, even
when it seemed like an itch
I desperately had to scratch.
Eventually, the itch faded.
Anyway, if youre reading
this, Pretentia, Im really
sorry I was a creep, and Id
totally be down for a drink
some time. #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 85
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Its all about layering power pants,
YOUR WINTER

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 91

SHOPPING
She
wears
the
pants
Tailored, flared, cropped
when it comes to pants this
season, go bold or go home
STYLING BY NICOLE ADOLPHE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TNE COFFIN
Coat: $149.95, Lola vs Harper
(lolavsharper.com.au).
Turtleneck: worn underneath
$69.99, Forever New
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(rubyseesall.com). Shoes:
$88, Asos (asos.com/au).
Necklace: $79, Saba (saba.
com.au). Bangles:
$30 for set, River Island
(au.riverisland.com).
Ring: $19.95, Kardashian
Kollection (02 9299 1881).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Knit: $129.95, Neuw
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Tyrant Saint (tyrantsaint.co).

93
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Earrings: $60, River Island
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94
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Trench: $269, Iris & Ink at
The Outnet (theoutnet.com).
Jumper: $299, Ginger &
Smart (gingerandsmart.com).
Pants: $169.95, Keepsake
(keepsakethelabel.com.au).
Shoes: $199.95, Wittner
(wittner.com.au). Earrings:
$49.95, Witchery (witchery.
com.au). Bag: $199.95,
Witchery (witchery.com.au).

97
 Trench: $36, Boohoo
(boohoo.com). Top: $39.95,
Sportsgirl (sportsgirl.com.
au). Pants: $76, River Island
(au.riverisland.com). Shoes:
$249.95, The Mode Collective
(themodecollective.com).
Necklaces: from $69 each;
ring: $79, all Morrison
(morrisonshop.com). Clutch:
$125, Bell Frankie + Co
(bellfrankie.com).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Jacket: $129.95, Sportsgirl
(sportsgirl.com.au). Grey top:
$119; knit: worn underneath
$149; both First Base (thisis
firstbase.com). Pants: $270,
Bec & Bridge (02 9310 4230).
Shoes: $135, Spring Court
(springcourt.com.au). Earrings:
from $169 each, Thomas
Sabo (thomassabo.com).

Hair and makeup by Joel

Phillips. Model: Taylah
Roberts/IMG Models.
Styling assistant:
Lauren Pirreca.

98
99
Bring a little desert heat to your winter wardrobe
STYLING BY NICOLE ADOLPHE PHOTOGRAPHY BY KANE SKENNAR
Jacket: $599.95, Witchery
(1800 033 465). Dress: $299,
Shakuhachi (shakuhachi.net).
Earrings: $9.95, H&M (hm.com/
au). Necklace chains: $68
each; clear pendant: $48;
turquoise pendant: $338;
ring: $178; bracelet: $118, all
Inspired Tribe (inspiredtribe.com).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Shirt: $250, YB Jaime
(yeojinbae.com). Bra: $39.95,
Staple the Label (staplethe
label.com). Pants: $189.95,
BC the Label (blessedarethe
meek.com.au). Shoes: $139.95,
Nine West (ninewest.com.au).
Earrings: $39.95; bar necklace:
$59.95, both Libert (liberte.
com.au). Gold necklace with
pearl: $99.95, Mimco (mimco.
com.au). Arc necklace: $130,
Naomi Murrell (naomimurrell.
com). Rings: from $59, Bowerbird
(collectbowerbird.com).

101
102
Trench: $229.95, Witchery
(1800 033 465). Dress: $48.95,
Dolly Girl Fashion (dollygirl
fashion.com). Scarf: $149,
Manning Cartell (manning
cartell.com.au). Earrings:
$12.99 part of set; necklaces:
from $12.99 each; rings:
$16.99 for set, all Equip
(equipaccessories.com.au).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Top: $34.95, Minkpink
(minkpinkworld.com).
Skirt: $220, Alice McCall
(alicemccall.com). Shoes:
$229, Guess (guess.com.au).
Earrings: $140, Ford + Harris
(fordandharris.com.au).
Necklace: $159; bracelets:
$99 each; cuff: $140,
all Vanessa Sandiego
(vanessasandiego.com.au).

103
 Top: $330, Zimmermann
(zimmermannwear.com).
Skirt: $159.95, Cameo the Label
(cameothelabel.com.au).
Shoes: $279, The Mode
Collective (themodecollective.
com). Earrings: $220;
cuff: $220, both Maniamania
(themaniamania.com).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Top: $59.95, H&M (hm.com/au).
Fringe top: worn underneath
$52, Next (next.com.au). Pants:
$129.95, Ministry of Style
(ministryofstyle.com.au).
Earrings: $99, Vanessa Sandiego
(vanessasandiego.com.au).
.

105
106
Coat: $369.95, Ministry of
Style (ministryofstyle.com.au).
Top: $69.95; culottes: $89.95,
both The Fifth (thefifthlabel.
com.au). Shoes: $229.95,
Wittner (wittner.com.au).
Ear cuff: $142, Fiel Sol (fielsol.
com). Earrings: $49; silver
necklaces: from $69 each;
embellished necklaces:
from $89; ring: $79, all Morrison
(morrisonshop.com).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Coat: $159.95, Ruby Sees
All (rubyseesall.com). Top:
$270, YB Jaime (yeojinbae.
com). Skirt: $59.95, Paint
It Red (paintitred.com.au).
Earrings: $170; rings: from
$120, all Ford + Harris
(fordandharris.com.au).

Hair and makeup by Justin

Henry/Viviens Creative.
Model: Valerija Erokhina/
Chic Management.

Shot on location at
Cactus Country
(cactuscountry.com.au).
 IN
THE

P
N
Sweeten up your
cool-girl tude with
candy-coloured
pieces
STYLING BY CHARLOTTA BACKLUND
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TNE COFFIN
 Top: $44.95, Forcast at
The Iconic (theiconic.com.
au). Skirt: $149, Maurie
& Eve at The Iconic
(theiconic.com.au).
Jacket: around waist
$420, Caslazur (caslazur.
com). Shoes: $90,
Converse (converse.com.
au). Ear cuff: worn
throughout models
own. Bracelet: $99,
Izoa (izoa.com.au). Palm
cuff: $139, Petite Grand
(petitegrand.com).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Trench: $229.95, BC the
Label (blessedare
themeek.com.au). Dress:
$40, Boohoo (boohoo.
com). Choker: $140,
Sylvie Markovina
(sylviemarkovina.com).
Backpack: $50, Topshop
(02 8072 9300).

109
110
 Crop: $59.95, The Fifth
(thefifthlabel.com.au).
Skirt: $320, Alice McCall
(alicemccall.com). Shirt:
around waist $179.95,
Blessed are the Meek
(blessedarethemeek.com.
au). Shoes: $180,
Kooka (kookai.com.au).
Choker: $189, Sarina
Suriano (sarinasuriano.
com). Bracelet: $79,
Izoa (izoa.com.au).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Jacket: $289, Unreal Fur
(unrealfur.com.au). Top:
$79, MLM (mlmlabel.com).
Pants: $55, Topshop
(02 8072 9300). Shoes:
$55, Topshop (02 8072
9300). Earrings: $98,
Zero at Pierre Winter Fine
Jewels (02 9331 2760).
Cuff: $99.95, Libert
(liberte.com.au).
 Coat: $149.95, Quirky
Circus at Myer (myer.
com.au). Top: $129.95,
Cameo (cameothelabel.
com.au). Skirt: $149.95,
Witchery (1800 033 465).
Shoes: $180, Kooka
(kookai.com.au).
Necklace: $59, Tilkah
(tilkah.com.au). Rings:
$49.95 each, Libert
(liberte.com.au).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Jacket: $99, Zara (02
9376 7600). Top: $190;
skirt: $220, both Alice
McCall (alicemccall.com).
Earrings: $220, Ford +
Harris (fordandharris.
com.au). Ring: $99.95,
Mimco (mimco.com.au).
113
 Coat: $149.99, Forever
New (forevernew.com.au).
Top: $109, Maurie & Eve at
The Iconic (theiconic.com.
au). Skirt: $249.95, Kaliver
(kaliver.com). Ring: $99,
Sarina Suriano (sarina
suriano.com).

OPPOSITE PAGE
Coat: $390, Alice McCall
(alicemccall.com). Top:
$39.95; skirt: $59.95,
both Atmos&here at The
Iconic (theiconic.com.au).
Hat: $56, River Island
(au.riverisland.com).
Choker: $375, Ford +
Harris (fordandharris.com.
au). Ring: $9.95, Colette
by Colette Hayman
(colettehayman.com.au).

Hair and makeup by

Bradwyn Jones/Union
Management. Model:
Bree/Bella Models.
Styling assistant:
Ebony Vukelic.

114
 COSMOS
Leather jacket:
$599.95, Neuw
(neuwdenim.com).
Coat: $590, Aje
(a-j-e.com.au).
Dress: $69.95,
H&M (hm.com/au).

GUIDE

TO
Layer up your look and
add some awesome to

LAYERING
your ensemble
WORDS AND STYLING BY NICOLE LUCAS

116
 HOT
TIP:
A long cardi goes
the extra mile when it
Vest: $115.50,
Missguided
(missguidedau.
city slickers Get the layering look down pat
with some off-the-street style
com). Top: $15, Wrap: $249.95,
comes to layering. Emerson at Big W Witchery (witchery.
(bigw.com.au). com.au). Dress:
Jeans: $249, $149.95, Cooper St
Armani Exchange (cooperst.com.au).
(03 9600 4888). Knit: $209.95, Cameo
(cameothelabel.
HOT
TIP:
PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER; SEVAK BABAKHANI/BAUER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY JESS CHAPMAN/NETWORK; HEIDI KING. MODELS: NATALIE/SCOOP MANAGEMENT; ISABELLE/LONDON MGT GROUP; KEALEY/BELLA MODEL MANAGEMENT

com.au).
You can still
show some leg
in the colder
months just
focus on layering
up top.

Trench: $144.95,
Coat: $249.95, Ladakh (ladakh.
Cameo (cameothe com.au). Knit:
label.com.au). $159, Marcs (marcs.
Cardigan: $109.95, com.au). Shirt:
Minkpink (minkpink $219.95, Cameo
world.com). Top: (cameothelabel.
$59.95, Country Road com.au). Skirt:
(countryroad.com.au). HOT $220, Kooka
Jeans: $79.95, Minkpink
(minkpinkworld.com). Coat: $360, Kooka TIP: (kookai.com.au).
Shoes: $229,
Shoes: $229, Mimco (kookai.com.au). Its never too cold Senso (senso.
(mimco.com.au). Scarf: Shirt: $149.95, Witchery com.au).
$19.95; gloves: $29.95,
for the crop! Just pop
(witchery.com.au). Crop
both Condura (condura. and skirt: $50 for set, a knit underneath.
com.au). Boohoo (boohoo.com).
Knit: $130, Kooka (kookai.
com.au).

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 117

starter pack $159, Marimekko
(marimekko.com).

$69.95, Atmos&here
at The Iconic
(theiconic.com.au).

$99.95, Sportsgirl
(sportsgirl.com.au).

Get the layered look with

these bare essentials

$99.95, Countryy Road

( ).
(countryroad.com.au).

$129.95, Rollas
(rollas.com.au).

HOT TIP:
Extra layers create
an off-duty street style
look. Pop a coat over
the shoulder to give
it a bit of glam.
$$59.95, Sportsgirll
((sportsgirl.com.au).
(sportsgirl.com.au))

118 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 layer jewellery
HOW TO
Cos with pieces as
good as these, one
is never enough

RINGS
BRACELETS
STYLING BY NICOLE LUCAS. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL SUESSE/BAUER; ALANA LANDSBERRY/BAUER; BEN HENSEN/BAUER; JAMES EVANS/BAUER. BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU; JASON LLOYD-EVANS. BRACELET MODEL WEARS DRESS:
$149, TALULAH (TALULAH.COM.AU). BRACELETS FROM LEFT: $119; $129; $199, ALL MEGAN PARK (MEGANPARK.COM.AU). NECKLACE MODEL WEARS TOP: $159.95, C/MEO COLLECTIVE (CMEOCOLLECTIVE.COM). NECKLACES: $16 EACH,
RIVER ISLAND (AU.RIVERISLAND.COM). RINGS MODEL WEARS TOP: $229, TED BAKER (1300 786 896). CLUTCH: $69, GUESS (GUESS.COM.AU). STATEMENT RING: $299; OTHER RINGS: $119 EACH, ALL SWAROVSKI (SWAROVSKI.COM)

NECKLACES

Necklaces from
top: $130, Naomi Cage ring: $99.95,
Murrell (naomi Mimco (mimco.com.au).
murrell.com). Pink ring: $220, Valre
$149; $155, both (valere.com.au).
Bracelets from left: $119; $139, both Nikki Lissoni,
(nikkilissoni.com.au). $120, Code Love By Charlotte
(codelove.com.au). (bycharlotte.
com.au).

Necklaces from
top: $129,
Swarovski
(swarovski.com).
White bracelets: $99.95; $49.95, both Mimco (mimco. Double $179; long
com.au). Cuff: $184, Coordinates Collection $168.99, both Najo
(coordinatescollection.com). (najo.com.au).
Rings: $9.95 for set,
Colette by Colette Hayman
(colettehayman.com.au).

Rings: $9.95
for set, Cotton
On (cottonon.
Necklaces:
com/au).
Bracelets from left: $329, Naomi Murrell from $169,
(naomimurrell.com). $320, Holly Ryan (hollyryan.com. Izoa (izoa.
au). $289, Najo (najo.com.au). com.au).

TREND
TO TRY:
SHOES
AND
SOCKS
Dont get cold
feet here Shoes: $84, Missguided Shoes: $90, Converse Shoes: $149, Mimco Shoes: $249, Mimco Shoes: $159.95, Tony
comes the (missguidedau.com). Socks:
$24.95, Happy Socks
(converse.com.au). Socks:
$16.95, Jonathan Aston
(mimco.com.au). Socks:
$16.95, Levante
(mimco.com.au). Socks:
$4.95, Cotton On Body
Bianco (tonybianco.com).
Socks: $16.95, Levante
hotstepper! (happysocks.com/au). (1800 634 876). (levante.com.au). (cottonon.com/au). (levante.com.au).

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 119

 This season, everyones going to be rocking braids.
Stand out from the plait pack with these stepped-up
styles and a little help from supermodel Nina Agdal
A SEXIER SIDE your standard
side plait: mini-braids and baubles.
Start by spritzing hair with a dry
texturising spray (like Evo Shebang-
a-bang Dry Spray Wax, $29.95) from
root to tip, then sweep hair to one
side and divvy into three sections.
Braid one of them, weaving in a
necklace or a string of beads (loop
a bobby pin through the eye of the
clasp to secure it). Then create a
larger braid using the blinged out
braid and the two loose sections,
tying it off at the end. Gently pull
the braid apart to fake fuller hair.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 121

 A FIERCER
FAUX-HAWK
thanks to this faux-hawk style.
To rock it, create three rows
of small French braids (theyre
easier than you think) on both
sides of your head, leaving the
top section loose. For height,
lightly tease the roots at your
crown and mist with hairspray
(try Muk Hair Lacquer, $15.95),
then pull all your hair, braids
included, into a low ponytail.

122 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 A HOTTER HEIDI on the milkmaid braids,
this hybrid combines the best of two worlds:
beachy waves and a face-framing plait.
Prep strands with a few spritzes
of salt spray (like Eleven Sea Salt
Texture Spray, $21.95), and scrunch
to lock in the texture. Next, create a
centre part and French braid a 5cm
section down along your hairline on
both sides. Stop braiding below your
ears, and pin with a bobby pin.

BRAIDS CAN BE HARD

TO SEE IF YOU HAVE A
MONOCHROMATIC HUE
(LIKE SOLID BROWN).
CONSIDER HIGHLIGHTS
OR LOWLIGHTS FOR
TONAL DIFFERENCES
THAT WILL STAND OUT
WHEN WOVEN, SAYS
CELEBRITY STYLIST
GEORGE PAPANIKOLAS.
WORDS BY MARTA TOPRAN. PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANTOINE VERGLAS

MMMORE! Scan the

page to watch a back-
to-basics braiding tutorial.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 123

 Just trying out
Kylie Jenners lip
tutorial, nothing
to see here

INSIDE THE SECRET

botoxsociety
 It marked one of the biggest revolutions
in beauty, but few people actually talk about it
until now. Here, Nicole Catanese reveals all
I
consider myself an honest person.
Yet for the past five years or so, Ive
been keeping a secret from nearly
everyone I know: I get Botox.
I started when I turned 30,
with the intention of blurring the
three distinct lines that ran clear across
my forehead and the frown lines between
my brows, both of which, unlike in my
twenties, now remained etched on my
face, even at rest. Initially, I didnt tell a
soul. I felt embarrassed that I even had
wrinkles at 30 and that all my go-to face
creams werent cutting it anymore, plus
all the girls in my crew seemed naturally
line-free (or so I thought).
I looked at getting Botox like a
secret experiment. The result: I loved
how it made me look. My forehead was
suddenly smooth, yet I could still move
my brows like a normal
human. And although I saw
a dramatic difference, no
People want
one else did. They never to present
asked. I never told. themselves
Now, five years later,
getting Botox has become a as naturally
staple in my beauty routine beautiful
something as essential as
keeping my buttery highlights bright
and never skipping a mani. Yet my trips
to the doctors office remain on the DL.
Only a select group of girlfriends are in
ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY LEIGH CAMPBELL. *NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. SNAPPER MEDIA
the know. My family has no clue. And I
have purposely kept this fact from my
boyfriend-turned-fianc.
And it seems Im not alone. A few
years ago, UK-based cosmetics company
Transform released survey results that
revealed up to 72 per cent of women keep
non-surgical cosmetic procedures such
as Botox from their friends and family
and half do the same with their partner.
Gervaise Gerstner, a dermatologist
in NYC, even says some of her patients
are so hush-hush about their Botox that
they ask her office for help to hide the
evidence. Women will split the bill two
or three ways card, cash and cheque,
she says. If they also came in for a mole
check-up, well print out a sheet for
their health insurance and it wont have
a whisper of Botox on it.
After surveying many of my close
thirtysomething friends, I discovered the
majority of them are on the secret Botox
bandwagon, too. Why? Well, it seems
that everyone has their own reason for
keeping their Botox-ing to themselves.
The anti-Botox boyfriends
For my fianc, the B-word conjures up
visions of frozen facial features la the
Real Housewives series. He doesnt get
that theres a difference between a tiny
smidge of the wrinkle fighter and then
pumping your face and lips to inflated,
cartoonish proportions with filler.
Christine*, 36, has been covertly
Botox-ing for nearly seven years, keeping
it from her boyfriend-turned-husband
even though most of her
female friends and office
co-workers know. She can
even recall the moment she
knew hed disapprove. He
had seen pictures of some
overdone celebrities and said
to me, Dont even think about
doing that its disgusting,
she says. This view is pretty common
amongst guys. Women know they cant
get them on board as a result, many
[of my] female patients feel cornered
into keeping [Botox] a secret, explains
Meghan OBrien, a New York derm.
The born like this illusion
Some Botox-ers keep mum due to fear of
what the procedure portrays to others.
People want to present themselves as
naturally beautiful and that theyre the
real thing its much more attractive to
others, says Eric Finzi, author of The
Face of Emotion: How Botox Affects Moods
and Relationships. Admitting to Botox
suggests theyre not beautiful solely
from their genes and good health, and
thats where the taboo is, adds Finzi.
A part of me felt that by being so
focused on a few facial lines, I seemed
superficial and vain. Plus, sometimes its
not just about convincing others. By
obscuring my lines, deep down Ive been
able to convince myself that the hands
of time arent ticking quite so quickly
(a comforting thought) because, well,
my skin bears no sign of it.
The competitive edge
A lot of my younger patients get Botox
because they want to look better than
their friends, says LA derm Jessica Wu.
Youd never know it, though. Although
this age group is known for oversharing
on Twitter and Instagram, that doesnt
apply when it comes to Botox. If a friend
had asked me, You look so young. What
are you doing? I wouldnt say Botox.
Id say, I just take really good care of
my skin, admits Daphne*, 31, who first
started Botox-ing at 23.
But now that Ive officially outed
myself from the secret Botox society,
Im adopting a different attitude about
it. Botox makes me look good and feel
good. There shouldnt be any shame in
that. And to my guy; honey, Im sorry
I didnt tell you sooner.
THINKING
ABOUT BOTOX?
READ THIS
FIRST
GET REAL ABOUT YOUR MOTIVATION
Why are you considering it? It should
be because youre stressed about a
line on your own face, not because
your BFF is line-free or a milestone
birthday is looming.
MAKE SURE ITS REALLY A WRINKLE
If it is, Botox can help. It its texture or
tone, lasers could be a better solution.
Its best to get a recommendation from
your derm or skincare professional.
SO YOU WANT BOTOX?
If your minds made up, it pays to get
a recommendation from someone
whose result you like. Pricing is per
unit, with most providers charging
between $8 and $16 per unit usually
anywhere between 16 and 40 units are
required depending on the area and
desired result. Finally, expect Botox
tolast for four to six months. #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 125
 BROUGHT TO YOU BY

RECIPES TESTED BY US, TRUSTED BY YOU

FOODTOLOVE.COM.AU
 LOVE&LUST
&LUST Youre meant
to support
each others
dreams, but
what happens
when his is
compromising
your future
together? >

HES REBOOTING
HIS CAREER
AND ITS EFFING WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP
PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS COLLS/BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU

His announcement
about becoming
a limo driver wasnt
going so well.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 127

T heres a universally acknowledged truth
of relationship law: no matter how well
you think your relationship is going and
how well you think you know your guy,
something will come along and f*ck up
your happy boy-girl equilibrium.
Eff-ups usually come in the guise
of a major curve ball thats thrown at you
with zero warning. But what happens
when the eff-up is his Life Dream? Like
going back to uni to study astronomy. Or
finally bagging the promotion that hes
been working so hard towards for the
past five years, which as a result has now
put on hold your big trip to Europe.
Of course, youll be the supportive,
positive girlfriend that you naturally
are, right? But heres the real kicker: his
Life Dream is effing up your dream, too.
Whether that aspiration is buying a home
together, or going to live in Europe for
a couple of years together, youd made the
somewhat naive assumption that your
relationship would always involve both
of you being open to compromise. Until
it wasnt. And now it seems youre the
only one whos taking the hit for his big,
shiny career reboot.
Cosmo asked psychologist and
RSVPs relationship expert John Aiken
how to deal with such a sucky situation
without crushing his ambition or
yours, for that matter.

HOW TO DEAL
When youre involved in a committed
relationship, youre meant to base your
decisions around what will be best for
you as a couple going forward. Youre
also supposed to make decisions that are
1 Terry is drinking the Personal
Trainer Kool-Aid after leaving
his city accounting job. He
loves his new career path. Simply cant
career move. After all, he has such a
healthy lifestyle now! It only succeeds in
pushing him further into it.

going to be good for the two of you and
your future life together.
So what happens when you find
yourself being less than thrilled about
his Grand Plan? And what does it mean
for your relationship when you just cant
shake the feeling that youre not being
factored in to his decisions? Or, even
worse, his future.
All of a sudden, the couple goals
you had moving forwards as a team have
changed, so the future becomes unclear
and you start to fight because you dont
know which way youre going anymore,
says Aiken. This tends to happen in one
of the following two ways:
get enough of it. His girlfriend, Anne, is
really happy for Terry. But shes not into
working out and would rather spend her
weekends knocking back cab savs. They
each stick to what they like and suddenly
never see each other.
OR
2 Anne tells Terry she hardly
sees him anymore as his new
schedule means hes working
most weekends. She misses her cab sav
drinking buddy and wants him back. But
Terry cant quite understand why Anne
doesnt support his new and exciting
Neither of these options are ideal,
because almost instantly you feel a total
disconnect from each other. While the
first option avoids confrontation, Option
Two is what generally ends up happening.
Both have disastrous effects, with clear
break-up undertones. Sure, Option One
allows you to remain Crazy-Sexy-Cool
Girlfriend, but it also sees you lose your
man. Option Two brings out I-Know-
Better Girlfriend, but also creates major
hostility and eventually sees you lose
him. So are there no winners then? Not
exactly, says Aiken there is a middle
ground. The key? Your approach right
at the beginning.

128 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116


Were much happier when
we know where we stand
with each other
His online audition to
be an Abercrombie
boy was in the bag.
Its very important that, rather
than going into the conversation with
directives and telling him this is what
you want to do with no negotiation, you
bring it up in a soft way and then try to
explain what it means to you for him to
be following his goals, says Aiken.
DERAILED DUO
Of course, while that may not change the
impasse, at least hell have a much better
understanding of your feelings, which
make up your opinion. And, just so were
clear, youre absolutely allowed to have
an opinion on this.
Regardless, Aiken warns that even
after that conversation, you might find
he still wants to push through with his
CORBIS
own goal. And you need to be prepared
for that. Also, you need to decide whether
him choosing to pursue his goal is going
to be a deal-breaker or not.
A recent study shows that when
someone decides to pursue a personal
goal, they become more single-minded
and less motivated to pursue other goals,
especially if focusing on those conflicts
with their own aspirations. Which is why
it can sometimes appear that his goal is
whats hurting your relationship.
Enter Karen, 27, and Mike, 28,
who had always planned on moving to
BEFORE IT BECOMES A FIGHT
Europe together. But after getting his
full electrician licence, Mike decided he
wasnt quite ready to make the big move
yet. The reason? He wants to save more
money now that hes finally on a good
wage. Karen is absolutely raring to go,
and is now pretty frustrated because its
something theyve both been planning
to do for years.
In any relationship, theres this
mutual understanding that youre a team
and that youre both going in a particular
direction together, explains Aiken. But
when someone decides they want to go
in a different direction, it derails things.
Were all much happier when we know
where we stand with each other and
weve got a shared vision, he adds.
But just because that Europe move
gets pushed back, or your boyfriends
new work friends arent your thing, it
doesnt have to mean the shared vision
is dead. It simply means you now need
to agree on a new one.
According to Aiken, its all about
checking in with each other often and
having regular conversations about your
future together as a couple.
On top of that, Aiken stresses how
vital it is that theres a balance between
togetherness and separateness which
is important for any couple.
If youre too separate and too
goal-driven individually, then it really
love & lust
shuts out the other person and you cant
create a sense of team, he says.
Sure, you dont have to both always
want everything the same. Having your
own, separate goals is healthy after all,
youre two separate people. But setting
timelines and discussing the goals you
want to reach as a couple in terms of
health, finance, living arrangements,
fitness, family and career, encourages
that all-important sense of teamwork,
plus allows for other smaller but equally
important conversations to arise. Aiken
says do that, and youre on the right
path. Its about checking youre on the
right trajectory or not, and not enough
couples do it. Julia Naughton
1
Try to understand each
others positions. Putyourself
in his shoes.
2
See if theres any room for
compromise or negotiation.
3
Consider whether his goal is a
deal-breaker. If it is, you need
to say that upfront so that he
knows the relationship could be
over if he goes down this path.
4
Set a timeline. Come back to
itin six months time and see
ifyour positions changed.
5
Keep re-evaluating those
timelines so the conversation
always remains open.
KEEP IN MIND:
If he goes ahead with it, you
need to either get onboard or
call it a day and move on,
says Aiken. Essentially, he's
going to go ahead and do it
anyway. So if youre with him,
embrace it, accept it, let the
resentment go and celebrate
his new path. #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 129
 REALLYHAPPENS
REALLY HAPPENS
AT A

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PA
 love & lust

T
he candlelight
flickers off the
marble floors

SEX
and finery of the
beautiful English
country house.
Glasses of champagne clink
as the young and attractive
partygoers eat oysters and
chat politely over the music
playing in the background.
With everyone dressed in
black tie and formal evening
dresses, it might seem to an
outsider that this is just an
upmarket drinks reception,
even a wedding party. But a
closer look reveals that this
is far from the case.
A curtain is drawn
back for a split second and a
woman emerges from within
a private room. Inside, theres
a glimpse of three people
writhing sexily together on
a silk-covered bed. In a room
next to theirs, two women
are touching and kissing
each other passionately. But
none of the partygoers give
these half-naked figures a
second thought. In time they,
too, will begin pleasuring
themselves in a similar way.
Welcome to the luxe
world of the elite, members-
only sex club, Killing Kittens
(well get to the somewhat
frightening name in just a
minute). It was launched by
London socialite Emma

RTY
Sayles (who just so happens
to be a friend of the Duchess
of Cambridge yep, Kate
Middleton herself). Sayles
has been running her brand
of sex party in New York
penthouses, St Tropez super
Cosmo goes inside yachts and other luxurious

the most exclusive, locations all over the world.

And it wont be too
secret party in the long before they arrive here
in Australia, with the first
world and its party set for launch on May
SNAPPER MEDIA

coming to Australia 30 in Sydney and another in

Melbourne following hot on
its heels a month later. >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 131

 As a movement and
organisation, Killing Kittens
is something that Australia
needs, says the new Killing
Kittens head of operations
in the area, who likes to be
known only as Aus Kitty.
The fact we already have
over 1000 members before
the parties have launched is
testament to the fact that
Australia has been crying
out for something like this.
The first party will
host around 150 Australian
kittens, with those lucky
enough to have got tickets
paying $500 for a single girl
and $1200 to attend as part
of a couple. Preparations
[for the launch party] are
very much underway and
the venue is very elite but
we dont disclose the exact
location until just 24 hours
before the party, says Aus
Kitty. Of course, the secrecy
is all part of the excitement
and intrigue.
The parties, which
started in London in 2005,
have always been aimed at
women. Men are allowed to
attend but only if they are
with a woman and, once at
the venue, the women call
the shots, approaching men
for sex rather than the other
way around. In fact, out of
the 40,000 Killing Kittens
members worldwide, 80 per
cent are female.
Its for this reason the
slightly off-putting Killing
Kittens name evolved. There
is a myth that every time a
woman sins and pleasures
herself, God kills a kitten as
punishment. This story has
turned killing kittens into
per cent of men and women
HAVE BEEN IN AN OPEN
RELATIONSHIP IN THE PAST.
132 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
His martini wasnt
the only dirty thing
on her mind
a byword of sorts for female
masturbation what better
name for an organisation
whose aim is the pursuit of
female sexual pleasure?
Of course, gaining
membership to the exclusive
sex club isnt a given theres
a rigorous vetting process.
Hopeful applicants must be
between 18 and 45. Youre
requested to send a photo of
yourself their philosophy
is that only gorgeous people
need apply. Sayles is rather
unapologetic about how she
discriminates based on style
and looks. It means that the
line-up of an average party
includes models, actresses
and It girls all looking to
explore their sexual desires
and fantasies in a way that
may be impossible for them
in other scenarios.
The elaborate masks
that everyone wears at the
start of the evening protect
identities so even celebrities
can attend. Many choose to
remove these as the party
progresses, however, as they
are rightly unashamed of
their involvement. After all,
whats to be ashamed of in
a movement that provides
women with a platform to
discover themselves in such
an exciting and risqu (albeit
safe plenty of condoms are
provided) way.
One of these women is
Stacey. The 36-year-old from
Sussex in the UK has been
attending Killing Kittens
parties with her husband for
the past four years. She is
proud that shes been brave
enough to take the plunge
into a world that has opened
her eyes to what sex is all
about. She explains to Cosmo
what its really like
I got married when I
was 21, and before that Id
not really had many sexual
experiences. A feeling of
missing out had always kind
of played on my mind and
after 12 years of marriage
I finally decided to actually
do something about it.
I gently explained to
my husband Pete* how much
I loved him but that I felt the
need for something more. I
didnt want to have an affair
but Id read about the Killing
Kittens parties so suggested
we go to one. Amazingly,
he was straight on board.
I think he appreciated my
honesty and, as we booked
into an event, we were both
so swept up in our naughty
secret that I felt closer to him
than I had in years.
On the evening of the
party we were both really
nervous. Wed planned our
outfits for weeks in advance
and as I slipped into a black
skirt, see-through shirt and

glittery mask I knew I would
need to have a few drinks
WORDS BY EMMA LEVETT. *NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED. STATISTIC SOURCE: GREAT AUSTRALIAN SEX CENSUS 2009 AND 2014. SNAPPER MEDIA
before we got going!
Youre only told the
exact location of a Killing
Kittens party a few hours
before it starts so Pete and
I were full of anticipation
when the venue, a fancy and
exclusive London townhouse,
was revealed to us by way of
text message.
As we walked in to the
venue, the scene that faced
us was just stunning. About
80 other people were milling
around a beautiful lounge
bar drinking cocktails. It was
the most attractive group
of people I think Ive ever
seen! All five storeys of the
townhouse were bathed in
candlelight and as we started
chatting to the other couples
I started to feel more relaxed.
They were professionals
just like us and there was
absolutely no pressure to do
anything apart from have a
really good time.
OF AUSTRALIANS
IDENTIFY AS BISEXUAL
OR BICURIOUS
(keen to try a sexual relationship
with someone of the same sex).
In fact, wed been there
for almost two hours before
people started having sex.
We were sitting on a sofa
with three other couples and
one of the women started to
give her boyfriend oral sex.
The others and I followed
suit [with our partners]. It
was such a turn-on. After
that, I pulled Pete into one
of the bedrooms where we
had the most incredible sex.
The idea that we were being
watched made me so horny
and afterwards, watching
other couples have sex was
13
explosive as well.
It wasnt till our sixth
party that we even involved
PER CENT
OF AUSTRALIANS
ARE IN AN
OPEN MARRIAGE,
meaning they
can have sex with
other people.
anyone else. I was feeling so
confident and relaxed by
then and when I got chatting
to someone who said she
had never been with another
woman, I suggested we get
together. Her partner and
Pete came into the sauna
with us and watched as we
kissed and touched each
other. Then she gave Pete
oral sex while her partner
took me from behind. It was
the sexiest experience Ive
ever had and afterwards just
thinking about it turned me
on. Even seeing my husband
having sex with another
woman didnt bother me at
all. We didnt even know the
couples names and there was
no risk or emotion involved
just raw desire.
Experiences like that
have actually made Pete and
I stronger as a couple. We
suddenly had a shared secret
and we found ourselves being
able to talk more openly
about lots of things, not just
our sexual desires.
Weve been to dozens
of parties together now and
I think its something that
will be part of my life for a
long time. Killing Kittens
allows women to be open
about their sexual fantasies,
as well as providing the
platform to act them out in
a safe not to mention ultra-
exclusive environment.
For me, thats a win-win.
love & lust
THE RISE OF
THE ELITE,
GORGEOUS
ORGY
Killing Kittens is
not the only provider
of parties to the
rich and gorgeous,
with sex parties
specifically aimed
at young and
attractive women
firmly on the rise.
Club Hermione is
another sex party
organiser operating
in locations including
London, Paris, New
York and LA.
Advertised as private,
exclusive and as the
realm of the sexual
elite, these parties
offer a maximum of
18 couples and 10
single girls the
opportunity to live
out their desires in
some of the highest-
class venues around
the world.
Heaven is another
organiser providing
a three-tier party
system to its elite
clientele. To attend
one of the top-level
parties, branded
red-cloak level,
members will have
been deemed ultra
gorgeous and
handed a secret
invite at one of the
lower-level parties.
Just 12 couples and
three single girls will
be invited to an event
and all must wear
lingerie under their
red cloak. At an
allotted time the
cloaks come off and
the fun begins. #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 133
 WE WERE
NEVER
EVER
GETTING
BACK
TOGETHER
 love & lust
When you wish
you could quit
him but cant.

In 2015, a clean
break takes a few
tries. Welcome to

W
the modern era of hen Kiri first met
her ex, he made me
dating on a loop, laugh like no other
when your new human being. After
a year of fun banter,
boyfriend also Kiri wanted to get

happens to be more serious but Luke* didnt. So she

broke up with him and, a few months
your old boyfriend later, got back together with him. Then
broke up with him, took him back, and
broke up with him for the next six years.
Id want more and end it, then
hed panic and chase me, says Kiri. Id
think, Oh, he does want the same things.
He knows he made a mistake. Then Id
get back together with him and the whole
* NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED

cycle would happen all over again.

Kiri and Luke arent the only ones
breaking up and making up on a loop.
Dating dj vu happens to lots of us: an
estimated 44 per cent of people aged >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 135

 17 to 24 have reconciled and started over
with an ex-partner, according to a study
by Bowling Green State University in
Ohio and the University of Wisconsin at
Milwaukee. It also found more than half
of those on-and-off daters said they slept
with their ex post-break-up. For most
couples who rekindled the flame, it was
an ongoing cycle on average, yo-yo
daters broke up two times in one year,
according to the studys co-author Sarah
Halpern-Meekin, whos now an assistant
professor of human development and
family studies at the University of
Wisconsin at Madison.
It seems like chronically dating
your ex has never been more common
mainly because people tend to wait
longer to get married. We have more
time to be in relationships in which we
might break up and get back together,
says Halpern-Meekin. We have more
ambiguity in our relationships today. In
the past, you were either dating or broken
up. Now, thanks to a culture thats way
more accepting of casual sex, breaking
up is a slippery slope that can lead to ex
sex, a friends-with-benefits situation, or
round two in your relationship. Plus you
can dump your ex, but unless you have
the Herculean strength to unfriend him
on Facebook and unfollow him on Insta,
youre constantly reminded of his life.
You get one tiny urge to email or
text that person, and boom! Its too easy, female rats with male rats hed applied a
says Kiri. You cant cut that person out special scent to. Later, when he mixed
completely and heal. The result? An the lady rats with the familiar-scented
entire generation that isnt really sure males and new unscented rats, 80 to 100
how to break up and mean it. Halpern-Meekin says many couples per cent (in different trials) chose the
who reunited were more likely to feel previous partners over new ones.

GET IT ON (AND OFF) theyd revealed their deepest self to

Honestly, though, who can really blame
us for habitually dating our exes? Many
of us spent our formative years watching
and romanticising rocky on-and-
off relationships on TV, such as Carrie
and Big on Sex and the City, Ross and
Rachel on Friends, and Meredith and
McDreamy on Greys Anatomy. And were
also used to the cycle of swiping, liking
and effing and while it can be fun and
spontaneous, it can also sometimes make
you feel as if theres a pile of dust where
your heart used to be. So when you find
a real bond with someone, it can be hard
as hell to let that go.
each other. Whitney, 22, spent two and
a half years breaking up then reuniting
with her ex-boyfriend because both of
us have issues with our parents and we
understood each other in a way that other
people didnt. They split up because he
wasnt quite ready to be exclusive, but
hed always come back as we have that
emotional connection. And they also
regularly fell back into ex sex.
A really strong connection with a
romantic partner can be hard to shake
because, to a certain extent, its rooted in
our brain chemistry. In a recent study,
Jim Pfaus, a professor of psychology at
Concordia University in Canada, mated
Pfaus says its because when youre
in that beautiful post-orgasmic state
with someone, your brain releases opioids
and oxytocin (chemicals linked to love
and happiness). This creates attachment
which other research has likened to
addiction to the person youve already
been with. And defaulting to the pleasure
you already know can feel more natural
and less scary than starting fresh.
After breaking up with an older
boyfriend, 25-year-old Gabrielle says she
continued sleeping with him because it
was convenient easier than starting
over with a newbie and more appealing
than being alone. Im naturally more
comfortable with people Ive slept with,

136 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116


Lets do this! For
real this time
and I didnt want to raise my number,
she says. Im no Virgin Mary, but Ive
always felt like, given the choice, I should
try and stay in the same pool rather than
sleep with a complete stranger.
Further research from Oakland
University in Michigan shows casual sex
PHOTOGRAPHY BY BEN GOLDSTEIN/STUDIO D. ORIGINAL PHOTOGRAPHY BY ROCCO
BIZZARRI/THE LICENSING PROJECT. STYLING BY SABRINA GRANDE. GETTY IMAGES
isnt so casual after all. Among people
having casual sex, only 13 per cent of
men and 10 per cent of women had it
with a person theyd just met, compared
with 65 per cent who got it on with an ex.
ITS OVER OR IS IT?
After several years of being on-again-
off-again with Luke, Kiri eventually grew
fed up and emotionally exhausted of the
yo-yo dating cycle. But, when she did
recently resolve to end things for good
with Luke, she says, It was one of the
most difficult things Ive ever done. I
would imagine its like quitting crack.
Its no wonder researchers describe
the on-off phenomenon as relationship
churning. Breaking up then creating
a brand new Tinder profile and throwing
yourself into a restorative cardio-barre
regimen only to wake up next to your
ex the following weekend can feel very
frustrating and depressing, like youre
blocking yourself from moving forward.
And, while Halpern-Meekins research
found many rekindling couples had very
strong emotional bonds, they also had
higher levels of conflict and lower levels
of commitment. Research also shows a
higher likelihood of verbal abuse and
physical violence in churning couples.
Albert Einstein famously defined
insanity as doing the same thing over
and over again and expecting different
results, and clinical psychologist Monica
ONeal agrees. I endorse a relationship
sequel, but certainly not a trilogy and
beyond, she says. An acknowledgement
of why things didnt work the first time,
and a vow to do it better, is a good sign,
she says. But if you re-experience the
same disappointment and hurt, its a sign
this person is not an ideal partner.
Although Gabrielles boomerang
relationship definitely had its downsides,
THE ON-OFF DATING
HALL OF FAME do it
Timberlake; Prince William and Kate Middleton; Selena Gomez
love & lust
she doesnt regret it. It made me realise
I didnt want the in-between relationship
anymore, she says. I wanted the great
sex and also someone who loved and
supported me. When she found both
of those things with a great new guy
(who now happens to be her boyfriend),
it was the wake-up call she needed. So
she said goodbye for good to her ex.
Not all break-ups and make-ups
end in disaster, though sometimes its
just a case of both members of the couple
getting on the same page at the same
time. Sometimes, a little bit of space and
time can heal the wounds and spark
introspection, explains ONeal.
Nicole, 27, says during a recent
break from her boyfriend of a year (he
needed space), they both realised just
how much they wanted to be together.
I gave him a trial period, and he proved
that he really cared about me, she says,
including supporting her during her
mums battle with cancer. Theyre now
planning on moving in together soon.
When we broke up, I told him
that I wanted a guy who was sure of
himself, Nicole adds. And, when he
came back into my life, he was ready to
be that person. Michelle Ruiz #
Even celebs and royals!
Relationship churners (from left) Jessica Biel and Justin
and Justin Bieber; Katy Perry and John Mayer.
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 137
 IS EVERYONE
HAVING ANAL

WITHOUT ME?
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It seems like everybody is talking about
backdoor sex. Taffy Brodesser-Akner
takes a probing look at the bottom line
b
on a new national pastime
efore we plunge in, Id like to be clear
on one thing: I am a big believer that
we should all just do whatever we want
to do in bed. Have your threesome. Hell,
have your twelvesome. Wear that mask
your boyfriend bought you as a joke.
Don that Care Bear costume and get
busy. Ill die for your right to do your
thing. (Well, Ill march in support of it.
Death seems kind of extreme for this.)
But Ill be honest. When I read the
statistics on the rise in anal sex, I was
taken aback. Women are all of a sudden
having tons of it: 40 per cent of us, ages
20 to 24, have tried anal sex, up from 16
per cent in 1992, says a survey published
in The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2010.
And 20 per cent of ladies in relationships
have had anal in the last three months.
Now, you should probably adjust for the
fact that people are more forthcoming in
this age of internet confession than they
were back in the early 90s perhaps
more people were having anal sex back
then than were willing to admit it.
Anal sex was happening, and it
was happening everywhere. Its in all
that porn in a 2010 study, researchers
watched 50 popular porn movies and
found 356 depictions, in 55 per cent of
the scenes, of men and women having
anal. The feminist Naomi Wolf talked
about how anal fissures a tear in your
rectal tissue comprised the biggest
problem seen at campus health services
on uni campuses she visited.
It was happening on mainstream
TV, too. There was that scene on Girls
ALL PHOTOGRAPHY BY JONATHON KAMBOURIS
where Adam tried to sneak in some anal,
followed by one on The Mindy Project
where Danny just slipped, followed by
a cameo on The Affair. And more of my
friends were starting to open up about
their experiences. As I opened my eyes
and looked around, I saw that this was
no longer a fringe topic. Had I missed
the anal revolution?
love & lust
Can I put it in your bum?
asked the gentleman suitor of a young
woman Ill call Ilene. That was during
her senior year of high school, when
they first started dating. Shed been a
virgin, but hed done everything, so
his expectations were high. During the
first month of their relationship, they
had vaginal sex. Soon after that, oral.
Then came the question.
I was never interested, says Ilene.
I didnt want to do it, and I didnt want
to talk about it. But he would ask, Can
I put it in your bum? every time.
It seemed really important to this
guy, so Ilene finally agreed to do it. Her
friends told her to have a few drinks to
get her inhibitions down and so it would
hurt less. She did, and well
It was not enjoyable, she says.
We used lube and a condom, and tried
foreplay. But I could hold on for only
two minutes before I said, I cant do it!
Prince Charming finished up with
some vaginal sex that night, and Ilene
spoke loudly and often about how awful
it had been for her. But he kept asking.
Eventually, he cheated on her, citing her
unwillingness to have anal as one of the
reasons. Would it shock you to know
that they broke up?
Then theres Danielle (of course
not her real name), a recent university
graduate. It used to be she could go to
a party, see how things went, then hook
up with a guy. Now, shell be getting
intimate, when suddenly guys will just
go for it, and then try to pretend it was
an accident, she says. The times that
theyve done it without my consent
its very painful. You hear horror stories
of this sounds so gross accidentally
pooping. The whole concept in general
kind of turns me off.
These young women were students
in the human sexuality class of Debby
Herbenick, co-director of the Center >
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 139
 for Sexual Health Promotion. In recent
years, anal sex is a topic that comes up
frequently in the class. Herbenick says
some of her female students are curious
and want to try it. But more often, its a
subject of distress. Many of my female
students feel pressured to do it, claims
Herbenick. One student wrote, I laugh
my way through anal sex so I dont cry.
A culture of coercion surrounds
heterosexual anal sex, according to a
2014 study of British teenagers. Even
in otherwise communicative and caring

r
partnerships, some men pushed to have
anal sex with their reluctant partner
despite believing it is likely to hurt her,
the authors wrote. The try it and see
approach was popular. Couples labelled
what happened as slips, the authors
of the study theorised, to gloss over
the possibility that the penetration was
deliberate and non-consensual.
Make no mistake. We may be

a
talking about anal sex, but the guys
who pressure women into doing things
they dont want to do, or who test the
waters by accidentally sticking a penis
where it doesnt have permission to go,
are the true arseholes in this story.

Remember the vagina?

When did the vagina stop being the holy
land? When I was growing up (Im 39),
the vagina was treasure to be guarded,
saved, used for special occasions with
special people. At my high school, we
were forced to take a class on safe sex
mandated by the Board of Education.
The 1000-year-old woman who taught
the class when she wasnt overseeing the
schools attendance made sure to pause
the mandatory sex videos to remind us
nice girls dont have sex before marriage
and to stop writing down words like
condoms, as we wont be needing them.
That may be a clue as to why were
suddenly anal-crazy. Many people are
being raised to prize their virginity till
marriage. But with women marrying
later, if at all, it can be a long road to
happily-ever-after these days, and you
gotta do something, so
Anal was my everything but,
a religious friend of mine confided.
Its not merely religious concerns
at play theres also a misguided sense
that anal sex is safer than vaginal sex.
As I opened my eyes and looked around,
I saw this was no longer a fringe topic.
Had I missed the anal revolution?
More than one interviewee in the British Fissures also create an entry for
study believed it was impossible to get STIs. We see research that suggests
an STI from anal. Condom use was rare. HPV transmissions, says McBride, and
While the risk of pregnancy isnt HPV is linked to anal cancers. Not to
a big worry, a lot of other things can go mention any other STI that just needs
wrong. The rectal epithelial tissue is a small slice of open skin to enter: HIV,
thinner, especially in comparison with gonorrhoea, herpes, hepatitis.
vaginal tissue, says Kimberly McBride, You can prevent some tearing with
assistant professor of public health at lube, but really, use a condom. You dont
the University of Toledo. If youre not want the bacteria in your anus getting
being careful about how you perform, into your vagina.
and especially if you dont use lube, there The good news is that not all the
could be local trauma. Those are the rumours are true: rectal incontinence is
fissures Naomi Wolf was talking about. not an issue. According to McBride,

140 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116


The research literature does not suggest
anal intercourse causes incontinence.
No shortage of women whispered
to me, might a man be really into anal
sex because hes gay? That question got
polite-ish Are you an idiot? looks from
the researchers I spoke with. As Sienna
Sinclaire, a sex coach and adult-industry
mainstay, puts it: Guys like to put their
penis anywhere. I dont mean that in a
negative way, though. If I had a penis,
Id put it anywhere, too.
Asked why they thought people
wanted to try anal, subjects in the British
study often cited the desire to copy porn.
But that explanation is partial at best,
argues study co-author Cicely Marston,
senior lecturer at the London School of
Hygiene and Tropical Medicine. The
fact that porn is the general explanation
given by many for the rise in anal sex
reinforces the idea that men decide what
to do sexually and women are passive.
Sienna Sinclaire is one of them.
The first time she had anal sex, at 21,
it hurt. She bled every time she had a
bowel movement for months. Now, she
loves anal and even sees advantages to
it over vaginal sex. The greatest thing
about the arse is that its not a vagina,
she says. Theres no cervix, so if his
penis is 25 centimetres long, he can still
fit. Take a minute if you need one.
The arse is an erogenous zone,
says sex educator Tristan Taormino, the
author of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex
for Women. Its rich in nerve endings at
the opening, (McBride, of the University
of Toledo, confirms this). So the rectum
responds to stimulation and penetration,
which is why butt plugs exist. And are
purchased by people.
Taormino says the reason a lot of
women experience pain during anal sex
is because the opening of the anus is a
ring of muscle that has to be unclenched
love & lust
Guys will just go
for it, and then
try to pretend it
was an accident
And here is where we get to my
most profound discovery on the subject
of anal sex: while there are emotional
implications to any kind of sex we have,
anal sex is the true test because it could
go so badly wrong. The women I spoke
to who were in serious relationships and
mutually decided with their partner to
have anal sex spoke about it being a more
profound experience. The ones who just
got a can we? and a poke in the bum
felt horrible pain. Maybe anal sex is more
than I considered it could be a chance
to come together in a new way, to feel
new heights of trust in one another, a

a s
Her interviews suggested some
men tried it out of a sense of competition
(as one charmingly put it, every holes
a goal). Both men and women endorsed
the idea that women needed to relax
more, to get used to it. In truth, no one
seemed to be having much fun. The men
rarely mentioned physical pleasure. The
women mostly reported pain and not
in a sexy way.
for sex to actually work. This requires
extensive anal foreplay, which includes
lube, massage, testing out the waters
with a gentle pinkie, and maybe quietly
reminding yourself that you consented
to this. Your arse is more delicate than
your vagina and less resilient, she says.
You can really hurt someone if you do
it wrong. So all that sensitive tissue is
kind of a blessing and a curse.
zenith of emotional bonding.
As I finished up the reporting for
this story, I got a text from my friend.
We just watched TV and are thinking
of taking a trip to Browntown Abbey.
Thought youd like to know. #

And yet, there are also women who
genuinely like anal sex. Take my friend
Rachel ($5 thats not her real name), who
is in her thirties and married with kids.
Over scones in my kitchen, I told her
what I was working on, and she said,
We love doing it. It turns out, she and
her husband have anal fairly often. They
call it going to Brown Town e.g. Hey
babe, are you up for a visit to Brown
Town? Rachel likes it because she likes
to please her husband but also because
it feels good to her. She really enjoys
being entered from behind and finds
theres something very intimate about
how gentle he has to be in order for it
to happen. (Her husband likes it because
the anus is smaller and tighter than the
vagina, and thats the dream, right?)
And then there are the group of
women Ill call anal enthusiasts, who are
set on educating the world in the finer
points of backdoor sex.
So anal sex is either very painful
or seriously great. Its either dangerous
or its totally safe. It can be an unyielding
pleasure or a huge pain in the arse. So,
apparently, its just like everything else.
Years ago, oral sex was also considered
deviant. This isnt that different, really.
Taormino told me about the letters she
regularly receives from women who tell
her all about their fantasies, anal and
otherwise, and want to know if they
are normal or not.
I would like all that stuff to just
go away, she says of the sex shame she
often encounters. I would really like
to see anal sex destigmatised, with no
hierarchy within the bounds of normal
relationships. I dont want that system,
and we all subscribe to it in one way or
another, consciously or unconsciously.
Id like there to be a menu with all the
stuff in the same fonts. You order from
the menu. I cant help but agree.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 141

Q
Even sexy
minxes feel like
third wheels
sometimes.

ASK HIM
ANYTHING
Love advice from our guy guru, Logan Hill

My BF and I have a really great relationship,

but he and my BFF have amazing chemistry
they agree on politics, read the same
books and have the same sense of humour.
I know Im supposed to be happy they get
along so well, but I still feel jealous. Help!
A: Nobody wants to feel Q: A GUY I WENT ON A FEW DATES A: You nailed it: The someone better line is complete
like a third wheel in their WITH BROKE THINGS OFF BY bullshit. Hes not breaking up with you because he
own relationship, but just
remember that he chooses
TELLING ME IM MUCH TOO GOOD thinks hes a Bieber-esque loser and youre a Beyonc-
like queen. Thats just his half-arsed way of softening
to be with you not her. FOR HIM AND DESERVE SOMEONE the blow he doesnt think youre right for him, or he
And its probably because BETTER. I FEEL LIKE THATS JUST doesnt want to get more serious with you. Truth is, you
youre not exactly like him. SUCH A BS LINE. WHAT IS IT THAT dont deserve someone better; you deserve someone
Your boyfriend and friend HES REALLY TRYING TO TELL ME? whos better for you.
might agree on politics
and books thats not so
rare. But that special spark
Q: I really want my hook-up to talk dirtier to me.
me
that really turns us on and th
Mainly, I want him to use the P word. If I hint this
makes us want to be with to him, will he be majorly weirded out?
someone? Thats way more A: Theres nothing weird about dirty talk, but if you want it you cant
c
mysterious and way more just drop hints. Smutty language is hot because its direct. So dont
do
important and its the big pussyfoot around. Lead by example. Tell him you want his C word.
wo We know Jason
difference between a friend Then tease him and tell him he cant have your P word until he says Derulo would
and a lover. the magic, filthy word. If that weirds him out, hes the weirdo, not you.
y approve.

142 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 love & lust

Q: My friend once hooked The Blue Steel

up with a guy (she called him is for modelling,
not orgasming.
Moose Dick), but nothing
came of it. Now hes asking
me out, and Im into him. Do
I need to talk to MD and my
friend about each other?
A: If they were one-and-done, you have
nothing to hide. As for Mr (Really) Big?
If you get serious, tell him about your
friend and his nickname. He may love it!
The male moose
is a showboat:

SEX Q&A
every year, it
grows a new
set of antlers
to impress
the ladies.

Q: I WAS ON A DATE WITH A NEW

GUY THAT I REALLY, REALLY LIKE
WHEN I CHOKED ON MY FOOD AND
SPIT IT UP ONTO THE TABLE. HE
LOOKED AT ME WITH SHOCK AND
HORROR FOR A SPLIT SECOND, THEN
HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME AND
COMFORTED ME. IM EMBARRASSED.
DOES HE SECRETLY THINK THAT IM
TOTALLY GROSS NOW?
A: OK, so you did a gross thing, but
that doesnt make you gross as a person.
Plus your guy handled your spit-take
like a true champ, so dont worry. Going
forward, all you have to do is change
one little thing chew your food better!
Q: My boyfriend puts on a
WORDS BY MICHELLE RUIZ. TRUNK ARCHIVE; SHUTTERSTOCK; GETTY IMAGES
No-BS responses to questions you can only ask Cosmo
Q. IM A LESBIAN, SO
WHAT DOES LOSING MY
VIRGINITY MEAN FOR
ME? IS IT ORAL SEX?
A. You might consider the
first time you have oral sex
as losing your virginity. For
two gay guys, it might be
anal. Gay people can lose
their virginity in many
ways: vaginal or anal
penetration with a finger,
dildo or other object, or
via oral sex, says Barbara
Sayad, whos a lecturer at
California State University
Monterey Bay and studies
virginity. Its not all about
Q. I HAVE A HARD TIME
GETTING WET, EVEN
THOUGH IM AROUSED.
WHATS UP WITH ME?
A. Vaginal dryness isnt THAT DAY! IS THERE A
just for menopausal older
women. It affects young
women, too. [Dryness]
can have a mental, physical
or even a pharmacological
cause, says ob-gyn
Jennifer Ashton. Anxiety
and lower oestrogen
levels due to birth-control Take Plan B right away,
pills can limit blood flow
and dry out the mucus
membranes down below,
which are responsible for
Q. I HAD SEX AND THE
CONDOM GOT STUCK
INSIDE ME AND I DIDNT
FIND IT UNTIL LATER
CHANCE I COULD GET
PREGNANT FROM THIS?
A. Take a deep breath
but the answer is yes.
Losing a condom inside
your vagina exposes you
to the risk of not only
pregnancy, but STIs, too.
and go see your gyno,
stat, for an emergency STI
screening if you and your
guy havent already done

serious poker face during
sex. How can I get him to
P in the V two Ps or two
Vs can lose their virginity
as awkwardly or sweetly
as anyone else.
lubrication. Cold and that and swapped results
allergy meds can have the
same effect. Try adding
with each other before
the lost-condom incident
some lube to your sex life. went down.

loosen up and have fun?

A: Sex partners with differing styles
can seem like actors in two different
movies especially if youre climaxing
in IMAX while hes as mute as Charlie
Chaplin. So take the lead and act out.
Loudly. When things quiet down, tell
him that itll be easier to give him what
he wants if you know how hes feeling.
Q: IS IT WEIRD A: Nope its perfectly normal. A recent study in The
THAT I SOMETIMES Journal of Sexual Medicine found 49 per cent of women
FANTASISE ABOUT dream of sex with an unknown person. It doesnt mean
HAVING HOT SEX youre a freak or a terrible girlfriend that Hemsworth
lookalike you saw at Starbucks is a sexy mystery. Unlike
WITH A COMPLETE your boyfriend of two years, hes never belched in front
STRANGER? of you. Stranger danger? More like, stranger, do me. #

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 143

 MY
BOYFRIENDS
SECRET
ADDICTION... What would you do if the
person you loved most was
leading a double life?

144 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116


TO SEX
You want
to believe
hed never
betray you.
I was looking in a
dresser drawer for a shirt for
my boyfriend, Joe*, when I
found an old mobile phone.
I started looking through
the text messages and my
mouth just dropped. It was
filled with womens numbers
and heaps of outgoing texts
like: Hi, this is Blank from
Tinder; Im just down the
block. Ill be there in about
five minutes; and Lets f*ck
in the garage.
My heart was beating
out of my chest, but when I
asked Joe about it he had the
straightest face. He said hed
found the phone in the street.
I wanted proof so I turned
our apartment upside down
looking for chargers, or just
for anything to find out if it
was his mobile. I eventually
found a credit card statement
*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. HADLEY HUDSON/THE LICENSING PROJECT; JENNIFER ROBBINS/THE LICENSING PROJECT
from a few months earlier
with a mobile purchase on it.
I dropped down to the floor,
feeling sick to my stomach.
I couldnt wait another
second to confront him so I
got in my car and drove to
his train stop to meet him
as he came home from work.
When he saw me holding
the credit card statement he
knew that hed been caught.
At that point we were both
crying hysterically.
I told him to give me
back his key and get out of
my apartment. He said, Its
just one person. That was
actually the worst thing he
said to me. Cheating on me
with one person is enough
for me to want him out of my
life. A week later, in an email,
he changed that number to
two. I said, You need serious
f*cking help. He replied,
I do need help. I love you so
much. Youre my everything.
I want to go to therapy.
FOUR years earlier, Joe
had spotted me at a club. He
was tall, dark and handsome,
and there was never a lull in
the conversation. Everyone
just loved him. From day one
we would go out to bars and
restaurants and have a blast.
We were both hardworking
and ambitious, and shared a
dream of buying the perfect
house. Two years after we
started dating, he moved in
to my apartment. Soon after
that, we started hunting for
houses. All our friends said
we would be the first in our
group to get married.
Then, three years into
our relationship, Joe turned
into a homebody. He claimed
he wanted to save money for
the house, but even when I
suggested doing something
free, like a walk in the park,
he made excuses. At around
the same time, he lost his job
and I caught him looking at
porn on his computer. That
wasnt really a red flag. He
was unemployed and bored.
I was more upset about our
love & lust
real sex life. When we first
started seeing each other, we
were doing it three times a
day. Then it went down to
twice a week then once a
week. He was always tired.
I started to ask myself, Am
I settling? But I loved him
so much, and we got along
so well. I decided that I still
wanted to be with him, even
if we had problems. I found
out after we broke up that he
had been shopping for an
engagement ring.
AFTER I kicked Joe out,
he knocked on my door and
begged me to take him back.
He said he definitely needed
help. He wouldnt call himself
a sex addict but I believe he
is. I couldnt sleep in the old
apartment wed shared, so I
moved in with two friends.
I would drive myself to work
and just cry. I lost a drastic
amount of weight.
Everybody said, Youre
so lucky you found out now.
If I had never accidentally
found that mobile phone in
the dresser, we could have
ended up getting married
and having kids, and he still
would have kept on cheating
on me. But four years is a big
part of your life to give to
someone, regardless.
Looking back, when I
thought, Am I just settling?
that was my intuition trying
to tell me that something
was wrong. I was settling,
but I never will again.
MELISSA, 30 >
He charmed
her and his
sidepieces.
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 145
 TO GAMBLING
I didnt want to see his face.
A few hours later, he came
in with his head hung and
said, Well, Im going away.
His family had told him he
had no choice but to go to
Nick was my hero. a really serious illness. It was He was the absolute king of rehab, not only for himself
He was this hot, manly man a nightmare. I got so sick cash-back. We maxed out but for me and our family.
with big, broad shoulders. during the treatment that I multiple credit cards with He went to rehab for a
When I first met him in my looked like death on wheels, $10,000 limits. month, and I started going
apartment building, I felt like and I ended up having to quit I eventually busted him to Gamblers Anonymous
he was rescuing me. Hell yes, my job. During that time, when I saw that the bank meetings so I could learn
I needed to be rescued then. Nick totally lost it. had started automatically more about his addiction
I was 21, living on my own, Because of my illness, deducting about half of his something I continued doing
and struggling to finish up I turned all of our finances paycheck. As I picked up the for many years. I took him
with school. I knew on our which Id previously been phone to ask them about it, back because his addiction
first date that he was The managing over to Nick, and Nick finally confessed it all. is really an illness. I wouldnt
One. He was my protector. suddenly we struggled a bit Kate, it was me, he said. abandon him if he had cancer,
I could come home and put more to pay bills. I figured Turns out he had taken out so why would I abandon him
on my fuzzy slippers and be we had less money after I personal loans behind my over his gambling addiction?
comfortable with him. left my job, so I just blamed back, and for years he had People ask, How could you
In the early days of our myself. He manipulated that been going to newsagencies not see it? Well, because
relationship, Nicks sister guilt really well. and blowing thousands of you love them so much and
told me that he used to play About two years later dollars every single month you dont want to believe that
pokies at the pub to the I got better and took back on scratchies and lottery theyre lying to you.
point where she and his mum control of our money, but he tickets. For him, it was all I learnt to be strong
were concerned about him. had crafted his lies expertly. fiery, intense and addictive and to try not to blame him.
I just said, Really? I didnt On a credit card statement instant gratification. And Nick had to learn to
think anything of it. I would read auto store, $350 I packed up all his shit, humble himself and ask for
After a few years of but I didnt know that he was put it on the front verandah, help. That was really the
dating, we got married and swiping the card and taking called his family and asked most heroic thing that hes
then we had a baby. Theres an extra $50 cash for himself. them to come and get him. ever done. KATHLEEN, 38
a pattern of little things that
I can recognise now, but I
didnt see them at the time.
When you love
Sometimes he would go to him but he
the newsagency and spend plays the odds.
$100 on scratchies in one go.
I thought it was a waste but
we were both working, so I
figured, its his money.
Another time, he got a
big bonus from work, but the
cheque never came through.
Weeks later, he came clean:
Honey, I bought a bunch
of tickets, and it got away
from me. He kept repeating,
I wanted my money back, I
wanted my money back. Of
course I was furious. I told
him, That can never happen
again. But I didnt connect
it to anything bigger. Who
gets addicted to scratchies?
A few years later, I was
completely blindsided with

146 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116


He wasnt just
high on life.
TO DRUGS
AS TOLD TO MICHELLE RUIZ. ALL PHOTOGRAPHS ARE OF PROFESSIONAL MODELS AND ARE FOR ILLUSTRATIVE PURPOSES ONLY. JENNIFER ROBBINS/THE LICENSING PROJECT; ANDREY PAVLOV/STOCKSY
I never thought Id
end up turning my boyfriend
of seven years my very best
friend in to the police.
Will and I were high
school sweethearts. He was
outgoing, athletic, kind and
good-looking. We both come
from very close-knit Italian
families and over the years
we came to love each others
families like our own, even
spending holidays together.
About five years in, I
noticed him and his friends
popping oxycodone, which
is in prescription painkillers,
before going out to bars. I
was worried and confronted
him about it, but he said it
was just for fun, that it was
under control. But shortly
after, he started changing.
He and I always used
to wake up early to go for a
run. Suddenly, even getting
out of bed was an issue. We
would be sitting on the couch
having a conversation, and
hed stare off into space. He
started making excuses as
to why he didnt want to have
sex, like, I just dont feel like
it. I figured it was just a rut
but it got to the point where
it would be three, four, five
months straight of nothing.
I started to realise how
oddly he was behaving when
there was a hurricane in our
area. Our town was totally
shut down, so we were both
home from our jobs. Every
single store was closed but
Will said, Im going to pick
up milk. When he came back
to the house he passed out.
Soon after that, cash
started going missing from
my wallet. Then money was
dropping like crazy from a
joint account I shared with
my mum. Eventually, a lot
of my jewellery started to
disappear. My parents told
me they thought it was Will.
Theyd watched him change
into a completely different
person and they wanted me
to finally see it, too. That
was when I said to myself,
Christina, open your eyes.
Id been in denial.
When I accused Will
of stealing from me, he told
me everything. Taking oxy
once a week had turned into
twice a week, then four times,
then every day. It had turned
into a $500-a-day addiction.
ARE YOU
WORRIED YOUR
BOYFRIEND IS
AN ADDICT?
TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT
If he brushes you off,
share your concerns
with his friends and
family. Chances are,
youre not the only one
worried about him.
URGE HIM TO GET HELP
Reach out to an
addiction counsellor
or therapist who has
experience treating
addicts for advice on
whether he needs
outpatient treatment,
rehab or another course
of action. Or call your
local Alcoholics
Anonymous, Narcotics
Anonymous or Gamblers
Anonymous.
GET HELP FOR
YOURSELF
Loving an addict can
mean feeling betrayed,
damage your sense of
trust, and lead to
depression, anxiety
or trauma. Its
understandable if you
need therapy, too.
SOURCE: ADI JAFFE, EXECUTIVE
DIRECTOR AT ALTERNATIVES
ADDICTION TREATMENT CENTER.
love & lust
Hed stolen over $50,000 of
money and jewellery from
me and my family. He said
he couldnt stop when the
high wore off the withdrawal
was horrible. He said he felt
like he was going to die and
he didnt even care if he did.
Why couldnt you just
have told me sooner? I could
have helped you, I said.
My parents are quite
old-school, so rehab didnt
even come up. The way they
saw it, Will had committed
a crime in stealing from us.
After he came clean to me,
my dad said to him, Should
I call the police to come and
arrest you, or will you come
with me to the station? Will
didnt put up a fight. I just
stood there in total shock,
thinking, This is the last
time Im going to see him.
I was crushed, but I almost
wanted him to go to jail cos
I was so worried that he was
going to die of an overdose.
Will was convicted of grand
larceny and sentenced to
seven years, and he ended
up serving the minimum of
two years in jail.
I went to see Will in
jail, to check on him and get
answers. Hed detoxed and
was sober, and he actually
thanked me for calling the
police on him. It was like he
was back to the same person
Id met seven years ago when
we started dating.
I did wonder if I could
give him a second chance.
But eventually I realised that
I would always feel as though
I couldnt trust my husband
around my wallet.
Its been two years,
and people tell me I look so
different, that my eyes are
bright again. Wills drug
addiction wasnt affecting
only him it was sucking
the life out of me, too.
CHRISTINA, 28 #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 147
 YOUR GUIDE
TO THE
MALE BRAIN
CLEANING IS
manthrop
FOR THE WEAK

Why dont guys

decorate
their place?
Artistically stacked
pizza boxes dont
count sorry
Men have very limited
influences when it comes to
dcor. Pop culture presents us
with two acceptable aesthetics:
man cave (framed jerseys,
hideous black leather furniture)
and serial killers hideout (blank
walls/complete lack of personal
effects). When these are your
two sources of inspiration,
THE SECRET LIFE OF BAES

How he really spends his me-time

it feels daunting to go too
far in the other direction a
tasteful mid-century modern
abode signals you have way
too much time on your hands.
In truth, Id love to have a Does a girlfriend change a dudes everyday time management? Uh, yes
clean, modern apartment with
5% Flirting with 5% Thinking about
basics from West Elm. Im 30, Sarah in marketing getting a dog 10% Watching Reese
and its embarrassing that my Witherspoon movies
5% Masturbation
home resembles an opium den 10%
15% Painstakingly Masturbation
without opium. But Ive never crafting casual
learnt how to live any other texts to Jen 10% Scouring
way. Its not like I think signing Tinder Etsy for her
up for Pinterest will make my birthday present
20% Having
penis fall off. But I dont need actual sex
to learn how to DIY a pine 20% Hanging 5% Avoiding Sarah score!
10% Feeling with the guys in marketing
cone into a lighting fixture. I really lonely (gentlemen,
just want to know how high really) 10% Trying to
and how far apart to hang two 15% Painstakingly make out during
framed posters. Bottom line: if deciphering Broad City
20% Eating
15% Smoking passive-aggressive
your boyfriends apartment is foot-long
weed and meatball subs texts from her
basically the inside of a pizza going online 15% Smoking
at 3am
box, hes probably overwhelmed weed and going 10% Realising
by choices or he has no taste of to a museum your friends
with her
his own. Help a brother out. SINGLE IN A RELATIONSHIP arent gentlemen

148 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 ology
love & lust
KATNISS NEVER-DEEN

What his fictional

crush says about him
Besides that he needs to spend
less time in front of the TV

OF LIKES AND MEN

The social-
A DISNEY PRINCESS
Maybe hes got
the hots for Ariel

media-
(hes the knight-
in-shining-armour
type) or Elsa

crush scale
(hes too young).
Regardless, the
risk of man-child
syndrome is high.

A retweet might mean DAENERYS

he wants to sire your bab
babies. TARGARYEN
Or hes just bored This Game of Thrones
badass has legions
of followers at her
HES BORED WITH A LAPTOP feet. Feel very free
to be the boss in this
WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC. HARRY POTTER PUBLISHING RIGHTS; 2014 AMERICAN BROADCASTING COMPANIES, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED; GETTY IMAGES

He: Hearts a photo of relationship. In other

WORDS BY ALAN HANSON; JOSH GONDELMAN; ANNA BRESLAW; RACHEL MOSELY. STATISTIC SOURCE: DATINGADVICE.COM 2014 SURVEY. PHOTOGRAPHY BY 2010

your cauliflower salad words, spank him

on Instagram. when hes bad.

What it means: Hes admiring

adm
lte .
your use of the Walden filter. HERMIONE
GRANGER
Hermione fanboys
He: Chimes in on an epic tend to fall into two
debate about fracking in camps: sensitive
brainiacs (win!)
your Facebook comments.
or cradle-robbing
What it means: Sorry, creeps (fail). Can
girl. Hes probably just we get a Sorting
argumentative. Hat over here?

He: Added you OLIVIA POPE

Anyone who keeps a
on Snapchat.
regular Scandal date
What it means: Chance with Ms Pope has a
of relationship? Slim. penchant for drama.
Chance of getting a dick But in his fantasy,
pic? Within five seconds. hes competing
with the President.
Translation? Swag
He: Retweets a dumb joke of to spare.
yours with a crying-laughing eemoji..

sixty-one
ixty-one
What it means: Hes totally
into you.

He: Comments encouragingly

on a lonely status update you
make about a crazy work proje
project..
What it means: Love him or
hell die. <3
YOUR FEED IS HIS EVERYTHING
PER CENT OF GUYS BELIEVE IN
LOVE
OVE AT FIRST SIGHT EVEN
WITHOUT
W THOUT BEER GOGGLES!
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 149
 READ YOUR
FAVOURITE MAGAZINES
ON ANY DEVICE!
More than forty titles available!

Read ANYWHERE, ANYTIME on ANYTHING!

Search for your favourite magazines on these Apps and websites.

Apple, the Apple logo and iPad are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc.
 BODYLOVE
HOW TO
DODGE
A COLD
THIS
WINTER
When it comes to you
versus flu, steal tricks
from these docs and fend
off the sniffles fast
PHOTOGRAPHY BY SIMON UPTON/BAUERSYNDICATION.COM.AU. GETTY IMAGES

STOCK UP ON PROBIOTICS
says pharmacist Shabir Daya.
As soon as I feel a cold coming, I take up to
four times my usual dose of probiotics, says
Daya. As most of our immune system is in our
gut, it makes sense. A Danish study found
probiotic supplements cut the duration of
colds, fevers and coughs by 48 per cent. >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 151

body love
JUMP IN
THE SAUNA
says Ronald Eccles,
director of Cardiff
Universitys Common
Cold Centre in the UK.
MAKE A For a cold in full swing,
COLD-BUSTING turn up theheat. Cold
SMOOTHIE viruses replicate best
at 32C, so a sauna can SPICE IT UP
says dermatologist help stop the virus, says nutritional therapist Ian Marber.
Sam Bunting. explains Eccles. Packing chicken soup with cayenne
When my appetite pepper, onions and garlic boosts its
islow but my body anti-viral qualities, says Marber.
craves vitamins and Cayenne relieves a fever by stimulating
minerals, I survive the sweat glands, while onions and
onapple juice with garlic are anti-microbial and rich in
vitamin-packed kiwis allicin, a natural decongestant.
and antioxidant-rich
blueberries and
strawberries. I whizz
them up with some
anti-inflammatory
DONT FIGHT IT says GP Chris Steele.
The common cold is just that common so trying to fight it is
flaxseed and goji berry
futile, says Dr Steele. People want to fight colds but the more often
powder, says Bunting.
you have them, the more resistant you become. If you feel very ill
with achy joints, chills and fatigue, chances are you dont have just
acold, so keep an eye on symptoms and see a GP if they get worse.

DITCH THE VITAMIN C

says dietitian Catherine Collins.
Take vitamin D instead it enhances
production of a peptide called cathelicidin,
which makes a virus more visible to your
immune system, Collins explains.

STOP EXERCISING
says senior sports scientist Brian
Cunniffe. I tend to scale back my
training at the first sign of a cold,
says Cunniffe. Exercise triggers the
release of stress hormones, which
have an immunosuppressive effect
on your body. Ordinarily, this is fine
but if you have the start of a cold,
working out could exacerbate
and/or prolong your symptoms.
TAKE A COLD SHOWER
says acupuncturist and herbalist
Philip Weeks. It doesnt sound that TUCK IN TO
appealing, but a cold shower can help
prevent a cold from starting in the first
ICE BLOCKS
says botanist James Wong.
place. Research shows cold showers When I feel like Im coming
can increase the production of white down with something, I plan
blood cells, which fight infection, says a cold-fighting menu, says
Weeks. Just a blast of chilly water at Wong. I start with shiitake
the end of your usual shower will do. mushrooms on toast, as
these contain a powerful,
immune-boosting substance
DRINK A SPECIAL BREW
COMPILED BY RACHEL REILLY. GETTY IMAGES

called lentinan. Then I finish

off with an echinacea ice lolly
says traditional Chinese
made by mixing echinacea
medicine acupuncturist Lily Yu.
tincture with fruit juice
I drink plenty of amachazuru tea ($11
which feels more like a treat
for 20 teabags, chinalifeweb.com), says
than aremedy, and is great
Yu. Its known as the immortality herb.
for a sore throat, too. #
Ginger and cinnamon tea are also very
warming and full of antioxidants.

152 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 Caring for your baby should begin
before you know its there
The first 6-8 weeks after conception are critical for a babys development including growth of its vital
organs. Yet most women dont know they are pregnant until after their baby starts to grow and develop.

It can take time to build the higher level of nutrients your body will need to support you and your growing
baby. So its important to start taking Elevit at least a month before you start trying to fall pregnant.

Elevit contains essential nutrients for babys healthy development including folic acid, iron and iodine.
Folic acid is clinically proven to reduce the risk of neural tube defects like spina bifida.*1 Iron helps prevent
dietary iron deficiency and iodine is important for your babys brain development.

Visit www.elevit.com.au for lots of helpful information and online tools

designed to help you all the way through pregnancy.

Availlable in Pharmacy

Always read the label. Use only as directed. See the label for full list of ingredients. If you have had a baby with a neural tube defect
/ Spina bida, seek specic medical advice. For more information visit www.elevit.com.au or Freecall 1800 023 884.
*When taken from at least a month prior to and during pregnancy. 1. DeRegil LM, FernandezGaxiola AC, Dowswell T, Pena
Rosas JP. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews 2010, Issue 10. Art No.:CD007950. DOI:10.1002/14651858. CD007950.pub2.
CHC70134 08/14
 HOW
TO GET
PREGNANT
154 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
 body love

=
ON
PURPOSE
Up until this moment, youve been doing everything possible not to get
pregnant. Plus, people have been making babies for, like, ever how hard can
it be? Real talk: for lots of women its really hard, and it can be tricky sifting
through all the information out there. Cosmo put together a definitive
guide so you can just relax, lay back and, uh make a baby >
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 155
body love

GETTING KNOCKED UP Just like with any other game, its all about playing the odds.
Collect $200 every time you pass O

DAYS START OF CYCLE

26-28 DAYS
Lining of your 28 1-7: PERIOD

GO
uterus detaches, A cycle is typically
and next period 27 1 around 28 days but
begins.
26 2 everyone is different
so adjust for how
3 long yours is.
GAME
25 MISSION
CHEAT: 4
TO BE
JUST 24 ONCE YOU
COMPLETED:

HAVE DITCH BIRTH

In the suspected
SEX CON T ROL , YOU ovulating
EVERY 23
H AV E A 2 0 P E R
5 timeframe.
2-3 DAYS. CENT CHANCE
OF GETTING
The equation you
need to calculate this:
PREGNANT
EACH CYCL E.

22 6
AFTE R The day your next
OV U L AT ION, YOU R period is due
T E M PE R AT U R E
CA N R I S E 0. 4 T O A beginners 7
21 1 C. T R AC K I T
OV E R A F E W instruction
MON T H S A N D A I M
T O H AV E S E X T WO manual YOU R CERV ICA L
M UCUS CH A NGES
12-16 days

DAYS B E F O R E T EXT U R E. YOU

8
20 A TEMP RISE. ARE MOST
FERTILE WHEN
DAYS THE MUCUS IS
18-25 CL EA R , SL I PPERY
Have sex on
these days
If the egg isnt A N D S T R E T C H Y.
9
fertilised, hormone 19 ONE IN FIVE
levels will start WOM EN FEEL
to drop. OV U L AT ION. DAYS
It ranges from 10 8-11
an ache to a
18 twinge of pain
The womb lining
starts to thicken,
and lasts a few
17 minutes to hours. 11 waiting for a fertilised
egg to implant
16 12 there.
OBJECT OF THE GAME:
15 13 DAYS
Get the sperm lined up to meet the egg. 14 11-15
Players: 2 I F YOU A R E
Get ready for
THE SPERM DAY ovulation time. Youre
Specs: Survive 2-3 days after red. 14 at your most fertile,
Your aim: Shoot out ready for the egg. OVULATION so all weapons
THE EGG
Women feel most fire now!
*SOURCE: GLOW

Specs: You can release once per cycle. frisky around the 13th
You survive for 24 hours only. and 14th days of
Your aim: Let the sperm come at you. their cycle*.

156 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 17
FACT:
in
COUPLES HAVE
TROUBLE
CONCEIVING.

BOY
VS
GIRL
Deeper penetration
allegedly helps produce
a boy. Thats because
the entrance to the vagina
is more acidic, so the Y
chromosomes in the
sperm dont survive in
that area very well.

SO YOURE GOING XY
OFF CONTRACEPTION
THINGS PEOPLE MIGHT SAY TO YOU
XX
Your GP*
STATISTIC SOURCE: BABYCENTER.COM.AU. GETTY IMAGES

1 Fertility can take 1-3 months to return once you

go off birth control. The fathers genes

2canIts
determine the sex of
a good idea to wait until after youve had A very single a child. The mothers
one normal period before you start trying so you girlfriend: unfertilised egg carries
calculate your due date more easily. an X chromosome, while
Whoa, things
3 essential for a healthy baby).
sperm carries either an
Start taking folic acid now (its a B vitamin thats are getting X or a Y chromosome.
serious. *High XY = BOY
*This is just a guess-timate. Definitely go see them yourself if youre pitched* Good XX = GIRL
thinking of growing a human any time soon. for you! >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 157

 WHAT BABY-MAKING
SEX IS LIKE
B Y T W O W O M E N W H O H AV E H A D B A B I E S

We were lucky in that it didnt take us too

long to get pregnant. It actually made sex
more fun there wasnt really anything
NO
stressful about it. But, of course, I think it was
the one time we werent focused on getting
preggo that it happened. It was on a weekend
trip to Melbourne, after an incredibly hot day
and too many wines by the Yarra. Six weeks
later, I was knocked up and super excited.

Y
It took us 14 months to conceive, so I was

R
about to start panicking. I realised we had to

T A IN
put in more effort. Id already worked out
when I was ovulating (from counting the days)
and we were already having sex at some point

AG N O T H I
around then. But I needed a militant approach.
Next time I ovulated, I made my husband have
sex with me every day for five days straight. It

N
A S O F Y EG
was definitely not some pinnacle moment of
loving sex. It was functional. But hey, it worked.
The next month I was pregnant. With twins.

FERTILITY PROBLEMS
When baby just wont happen
Of those who have fertility
problems, the percentage of
women who conceive varies
with the type of condition,
24% the severity of the problem
and treatment used.
UNEXPLAINED A common option is in
vitro fertilisation (IVF), which
is the process of placing egg
FERTILITY SOURCE: BABYCENTER.COM.AU. IVF SOURCE: UNSWS NATIONAL PERINATAL EPIDEMIOLOGY AND STATISTICS UNIT. GETTY IMAGES
hopefully stick to the lining
of the womb and grow. For
women aged 30 to 34, the
clinical pregnancy success
rate (within five rounds) of
IVF is 51.7 per cent. Every
cycle of IVF costs about
$8500 upfront, and Medicare
and your private health

5% 30%
MEN
and sperm together outside
the body. Once the egg is
insurance company should
cover some of those costs.
OTHER FACTORS fertilised, its put inside the For info on IVF, head to ivf.
womans uterus, where it will com.au or call 1800 111 483.

10%
BOTH

29%
WOMEN FROM 2009: 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom aired on MTV.
BETWEEN 2008-2012: Teen birth rates dropped rapidly*.
*BY 7. 5 PER C EN T PER Y E A R .

158 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 body love

SHOULD
PRACTICE I SEEK
MAKES
PERFECT EXPERT HAVE YOU BEEN
USING LUBE?

HELP?

?
NO YES

WHAT
AGE ARE
YOU?
THAT COULD BE YOUR PROBLEM.
Some lubricants can hinder sperm getting
Under Over through. We hear egg whites can be a
35 35 safe way to get moist, but check with
your GP if you need a sperm-friendly lube.

Has it been at Its a good idea

least one year to suss the Did you just say
of trying? situation now. moist? Were
you referring to
mud cake?

30
IS THE AVERAGE AGE
OF BECOMING A
FIRST-TIME MUM
YES

Seek
NO

Experts say that if youre under

35 with regular menstrual
cycles and no known health
issues that may affect fertility,
give it 12 months. But dont
NO YES

OK, first lets

have a piece
of that.

IN AUSTRALIA. medical
advice.
hesitate to stay in consultation
with your GP along the way.
Dont ever say that again.

THE BEST
POSITIONS
TO GET
PREGNANT*
*Basically every
position where the
penis ejaculates in
the vagina. >

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 159

 YOUR BORDY
IS YOU
(BABYS)
TEMPLE
A GUIDE TO SHOPPING WHEN
YOURE TRYING TO BE PREGNANT
If you follow the medical advice like, perfectly this is what
youd be putting in your shopping trolley*
*According to government recommendations

ALCOHOL:
P R O T E I N : Lean meat and poultry, F I S H : 2 portions per DA I R Y: The government recommends
fish, eggs, pulses (beans and lentils). week (no more as oily fish 3 portions per day. women stop drinking alcohol
may contain pollutants).
p when trying for a baby. If you
2 portions per
p day.
are going to drink, they suggest
consuming no more than one or
two units of alcohol per week.
A schooner of beer or cider
3 if youre
is one unit. A small glass of
vegetarian
wine is 1.5 units. Alcopops are
WHOLE about 1.5 units.
GRAINS:
QUICK TIPS! Foods such CA FFEI N E:
FRUIT: Eat iron-rich foods: red as bread,
meat, pulses, dried fruit,
The government advises
2 per day. pasta, less than 200mg per day.
bread, green vegetables, cereals,
fortified breakfast cereals. Flat white coffee using arabica
protein, beans (180ml) = 60mg caffeine.
Have vitamin C with meals oats
to help absorb the iron. and rice. FOL IC ACI D:
Have 1 Take it as soon as you stop
Soft, mould-ripened or portion
blue-veined cheese may using contraception until youre
VEGIES: with each 12 weeks pregnant. This
increase risk of listeriosis, meal.
5 per day. a bacterial infection that protects the unborn baby
can affect your pregnancy. against the risk of spina bifida
and other neural tube defects.

V ITA M I N D:

START HERE Some women have low levels,

so check with your GP.

GLOW PERIOD TRACKER APP, FREE, ITUNES

This app helps you track your period, emotions, moods, physical symptoms, fertility health and medications. Glow's
data shows women who actively use the app have at least a 40 per cent greater likelihood of getting pregnant. Glow
users report having sex most frequently on days 12-15 (around ovulation), but orgasm is more frequent in the 2-3 days at the start
of a cycle. According to the data, of those who are actively trying to conceive, 7.5 per cent still had sex during their period.

160 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 body love

SUGGESTED
@thegracetales + Follow

@theyoungmummy + Follow

@fatmumslim + Follow

IF YOU
COULD
TEXT YOUR SCREENSHOT THIS = BLOW PEOPLES MINDS
BABY ON
YOUR DUE USE ME
DATE
WHEN
Then they
pee again
The emoji-
obsessed baby
When the f*ck are you
getting here? YOUR PERIOD BABIES
WOULD Then they PEE IN Then they
En route! NORMALLY drink it THE drink it
BE DUE WOMB
The over-
excited baby
OR
TWO WEEKS
When the f*ck are you
AFTER YOU Then they
getting here?
OVULATE. pee again
Mumsy babes! Nearly

FACTS 85 %
there! Sooo cant wait
to see you! Yeeaaaah,
COMPILED BY REBECCA SLOAN. STATISTIC SOURCES: BABYCENTER.COM.AU; NLM.NIH.GOV. GETTY IMAGES

WOO.

The flaky baby

BABY-MAKING

1
When the f*ck are you TRUTH BOMBS The chance of getting
pregnant in one year.

1 in 300
getting here?

Ohhh, that was today?

in
Sh*t sorry, Im going to
be late.

2000
The busy baby
Any womans chance of
When the f*ck are you having identical* twins.
getting here? *Chance of non-identical twins depends
on whether it runs in your family.
FOR EVERY 2000
BABIES, ONE IS BORN Baby loading...
WITH A TOOTH.
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 161
 ?
WHY
CANT
WE SEE
BEYOND
A DRESS
SIZE
From cutting the
labels out of your
latest buy to full-on When I was 12, my mum gently told me Id always have to buy
larger clothes than my more petite peers, due to the fact Im
tears and tantrums almost 1.8m tall and descended from a long line of Amazonian
in the changing room, giantesses. Perhaps thats why Ive never felt any shame in
Natasha Devon asks announcing Im a size 16. But many of us have preconceptions
about what women of a certain size are like. So, for example,
why were so hung size-16 women like me are often thought of as confident and
up on the size labels smiley, with a love of 50s tailoring, big hair and cupcakes. By
sheer coincidence, that pretty much sums me up. And when
inside our clothes I asked women on an online forum to do a similar exercise, I
discovered most of us ascribe certain personality traits to our
dress sizes. According to the forum, size-8 women are uptight,
size-10s are professional, size-14s make great girlfriends, and
size-18s make fun drinking buddies. Logically, these theories
are nonsense but preconceptions were strong enough for
the hundred or so women asked to reach a general consensus.
162 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

Seems one
size doesnt
really fit all.
WHATS IN A
NUMBER?
Perhaps its hardly surprising
so many of us have become a
bit precious when it comes to
dress sizes fitting not only
a set of measurements, but a
social definition. I think the
way women feel about dress
* NAME HAS BEEN CHANGED. GETTY IMAGES
sizes gives you an insight in
to their state of mind, says
Sam Tomlin from Models of
Diversity, an agency that aims
to broaden the range of sizes,
shapes, ages and races we see
in the fashion industry.
I used to cut the label
out of any clothes that were
size 14, cos I just couldnt deal
with not being a size 12, she
says. Now, I dont even look
at the label. I just think, Will
this fit me?
Sadly, not all women
have achieved Sams state of
size-related Zen. Christie* is
a boutique owner who imports
garments from Europe and
the labels are two sizes up
from what youd expect.
I have to explain to
some customers who usually
buy a size 10 that in my shop,
theyre a 14, she says. Ill
always make it clear that its
I WONT
EVEN TRY IT
ON IF I NEED
A [BIGGER]
SIZE THAN
I USUALLY
WEAR
just the way the sizing works
with the manufacturers, but
the response can be shocking
some women have burst into
tears, demanding I measure
them again, and some have
even become aggressive.
Is it any wonder that
so-called vanity sizing (a
phenomenon where clothes
are being labelled up smaller
than a few years ago) is such
a widespread practice? And
what exactly does it say about
our culture that were more
likely to part with our cash
for a garment in a smaller
size, even though our body
shape remains the same?
SIZE MATTERS
Vanity aside, the discrepancy
in sizing between brands
means its difficult to know
what to order when shopping
online. UK campaign group
Curve Collective launched a
petition on Twitter last year
that aimed to standardise
sizing across all retailers.
Fashion commentator
Caryn Franklin, co-founder
of activist group All Walks
Beyond the Catwalk (which
was behind the introduction
of size-16 mannequins in a
popular UK department store),
is sceptical. We cant have
standardised sizing because
we dont have standardised So whats the solution? Online
bodies, she says. By that, I
mean Topshops size 12 caters
mostly for a younger, more
fashion-forward customer. A
brand such as Wallis [similar
to Sussan in Australia] on the
other hand, uses its size 12 to
fit an older woman who has
probably had children and is
likely to be middle-aged. Her
body will be a different shape,
with a thicker waist, fuller
tummy and breasts placed
lower. Each retailer [caters]
for its own demographic.
Plus-size designer Remi
Ray says the way forward is
to make positive associations
when it comes to how we all
label our clothes and bodies,
rather than just changing the
labels themselves. The term
plus size, for example, has
been fully embraced by some
women as synonymous with
positivity, while other women
consider it stigmatising, as
the word plus suggests a
surplus that were larger
than we should be.
One of the reasons the I heard several otherwise-
plus-size wave has been so
successful is because its about
acceptance, being confident
and comfortable, says Ray.
It highlights that you are
more than the size of your
clothes and societys view of
what that says about you.
When I posed the size
question on Twitter, people
body love
were quick to point out that
women at the other end of the
size spectrum struggle with
fluctuation, too. Despite [my
body] having the exact same
measurements, my clothing
size has gone from an 8-10
to a 6-8 in the past 10 years,
says Sarah, 28. It means Im
often stuck buying [clothes]
from specialist stores online.
THE FUTURE
OF FASHION
retailer Asos, which stocks an
impressive range of sizes (from
size 2 to 28), is leading the
way in the new trend of body
scanning. Its project, Size
Asos, scanned a cross-section
of customers bodies, which
then allowed the companys
designers to better understand
the specific shape and size
requirements of its target
demographic. In turn, this
will inform future designs.
In future, body scanning
could become a whole lot more
sophisticated as we enter a
shop, well be able to send our
unique body measurements
using our smartphones, and
be recommended a range of
products to suit our shape.
It could be a chance to
do away with numbers in the
back of garments and think
about another coding system
altogether, says Franklin.
In the meantime, though,
it seems many of us require
an attitude makeover. During
my investigation into sizing,
confident women say things
such as, Even if a dress looks
fab, I wont even try it on if
I need a size thats bigger
than I usually wear. Surely
its now time for us to look
beyond the mass-produced
clothing labels and instead
see women as the individuals
that they are. #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 163

SHOULD YOU
BE DRINKING
A
MILK?
Hold off on that glass of milk! The official drink of your childhood just got controversial
s a kid, milk was the drink your
parents pushed on you, and for
good reason: its a great source
of protein. Its also full of calcium and
vitamin D, which help keep your bones
and teeth strong. Plus, it contains choline
a nutrient thats excellent for the brain
and potassium, which helps protect the
heart. So, whats not to love?
In recent years, several scientists
have voiced concerns that milk may not
deserve its reputation, because the people
who drink milk arent always healthier
than people who dont. The evidence
for milks benefits are not there, says
Walter Willett, chair of the department
of nutrition at Harvard School of Public
Health. Worse, recent research all of
it preliminary suggests that drinking
too much milk could pose health risks.
Cows milk is full of hormones that
help calves grow one study estimates
60 to 80 per cent of the female hormones
we get from our food come from cows
milk. That includes the hormone IGF-1,
which encourages cells to multiply a
potentially bad thing considering that
excessive cell multiplication is a hallmark
of cancer, says Michael Pollak, director
of the division of cancer prevention at
Canadas McGill University.
164 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
Less milk? But
its what crazy
straws were
made for!
Women who drink more than two
glasses of milk a day are twice as likely
to be diagnosed with ovarian cancer than
No one knows exactly how many
of the hormones from milk get into your
body, because digestion breaks some of
women who rarely drink it, according to them down. Until we know more about
a Swedish study. And research recently the potential health risks, Willett advises
published in the British Medical Journal drinking no more than one to two glasses
found women who drink three or more of milk a day (dont forget to count your
WORDS BY MELINDA WENNER MOYER. ADDITIONAL WORDS BY OLIVIA SIMONE. *ALL COUNTS ARE PER CUP. TRUNK ARCHIVE
glasses per day are nearly twice as likely latte) and sticking to skim, as it contains
than non-milk-drinkers to die over the fewer hormones than whole. Kids can
course of 20 years from any cause. have a bit more than that, because they
But dont freak out. Pollak says the have different nutritional requirements.
IGF-1 increase you get from milk is a Dont feel like you have to pay for
small effect and may not make a huge organic, which doesnt have lower levels
difference to your cancer risk. There are of sex hormones than the conventional
studies that tie milk to a lower risk of kind. Instead, check the label for growth
cancer, too one found that women who hormones or swap cows milk for some
drink milk have a reduced risk of breast of the options below. Milk is nutritious,
cancer. As milk drinkers may do other yes, says Pollak, but that doesnt mean
things that put them at an increased the more we drink, the better. You can
risk, its impossible to blame milk. have too much of a good thing.
ALTERNA-MILKS
ALMOND MILK SOY MILK RICE MILK OAT MILK
(314 kilojoules*, 3.5g (431 kilojoules, 2.3g (523 kilojoules, 3g fat) (640 kilojoules, 2.5g
fat) Its low in kilojoules fat) Soy is thought to Got allergies? This has fat) Being plant-based,
and fat, and high in help halt heart no lactose, nuts or oat milk is lower in
calcium, vitamin E disease, but some soy but it doesnt saturated fat than
and sugar. Go for an studies say too much have much nutritional standard milk.
unsweetened version. may affect fertility. content, either. TRY IT Use it for
TRY IT Creamy and TRY IT Thicken soup TRY IT Use this light, cooking, baking
rich, use it in your by stirring in the super-thin milk in or just enjoying
smoothies and coffee. non-flavoured kind. oatmeal or cereal. as a drink. #

THE HOT
WORKOUT
DEBATE
Exercising in high temps isnt just for yogis
anymore. But is the sweat-fest worth it?
W
hether its hot Spinning
inSydney, scorching boot
camps in New York City,
orheated boxing classes,
roasted versions of top workouts are
everywhere. In fact, the owners of The
Sweat Shoppe indoor-cycling studio in
LA phased out regular classes because
of the demand for hot ones.
Olivia, 25, was hooked after her
first hot ride. I sweated so much, it was
like Id been cleansed, she recalls. I
could practically feel the toxins being
released from my body.
Thats a common belief, but its
not actually scientific. Its your kidneys
and liver not your sweat glands that
filter toxins from your body. The point
of sweating is to cool you down, says
Dr Dee Anna Glaser, who has studied
excessive sweating. In fact, she even
warns, If you dont drink enough water
to compensate, you put stress on your
liver and kidneys, meaning they cant
do their jobs properly.
Nor does a hot workout torch more
calories. Intensity is the best indicator
of calorie burn not sweat or heart rate
WORDS BY KELLY MICKLE. JAKOB AXELMAN/THE LICENSING PROJECT
and most people lessen intensity when
exercising in heat, explains Douglas
Casa, director of athletic training at the
University of Connecticut. And, even if
you could match intensities, youd burn
at most 10 per cent more calories.
PHASE IT IN PAY ATTENTION
Take workshops that You should always
allow you to gradually listen to your body.
do longer workouts in Feeling dizzy, weak,
higher temperatures, nauseous or have a
says Casa. Or start headache? Leave
with lower-intensity immediately and
styles, like Pilates, go find some A/C,
and duck out early. advises Casa.
body love
What adding heat can do is pump
up performance. Cyclists did better in
both cool and warm environments after
training in hot temps for just 10 days, a
recent study in the Journal of Applied
Physiology revealed. When you get hot,
blood vessels in your skin will dilate to
stimulate sweat, says study author
Santiago Lorenzo. Then, once youre
acclimated, you sweat more and sooner.
Your skin needs less blood to cool you
off, which means more can be sent to
the muscles and organs.
This increased blood flow keeps
your muscles flexible, boosts endurance
and makes working out in much cooler
temperatures feel like a cinch. Olivia
says doing hot Spinning a few days a
week helped her cut 25 minutes off her
marathon time. Everything else felt
easier, she says.
Not only that, but hot fitness can
be pretty damn motivating, too. It can
take a while to see exercise results, so
some small visual cues that prove youre
making a difference are helpful. The
emotional component of finishing your
workout drenched can be incredibly
rewarding, says Lorenzo.
Bottom line: if hot fitness seems
like torture, theres no health reason to
do it. If you love sweating buckets or
are in training, go for it just remember
to obey these four rules
MIND THE TEMP DRINK UP
Reserve anything Weigh yourself
above 38C for both pre- and
yoga. Before you post- exercise.
sign up, check that For each kilo of
the class has an air water weight
system that tracks lost, aim to sip
humidity levels and roughly 70ml
the temperature. of H20. #
COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 165
 GET THE
MAX
OUT OF
EVERY
MOVE
Trainer Astrid McGuire
makes some old standbys
more effective (and fun)
1

A STEPPED-UP
LUNGE
1. Stand with feet hip-width
apart, facing a chair or bench.
Step right foot onto chair, then
press through left heel to drive
left knee up and forwards so
thigh is parallel to floor. Pulse it
twice while balancing on right
foot and without leaning torso
or hips forward, swinging arms
A BETTER SQUAT for stability. 2. Repeat 10 to 20
1. Swing arms to the right and jump laterally, landing times, then switch legs.
on your right foot, bending the left knee and raising WHY ITS BETTER: Travelling
the left foot. 2. Reverse the move to your left side, vertically instead of just
jumping at a 45-degree angle. Repeat alternate jumps horizontally requires more
for one minute, constantly moving forward. effort (cardio!), plus youll tap
WHY ITS BETTER: Jumping targets your bum your core muscles to steady
and legs and also gets your heart rate up. yourself once youre up.

166 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 body love

1
WORDS BY LIZ PLOSSER. PHOTOGRAPHY BY PERRY HAGOPIAN. FASHION EDITOR: MATTHEW PERIDIS. HAIR BY DAVID KEOGH/CELESTINE AGENCY. MAKEUP BY CARISSA FERRERI/TRACEY MATTINGLY. MANICURE BY BARBARA WARNER/CELESTINE AGENCY

Jump and
balance.

AN UPGRADED PUSH-UP
1. Place hands under shoulders on a chair or bench,
and walk feet back. Place left hand behind lower back.
2. Jump both feet out to the sides and in. Thats one
rep. Do 10, switch hands and repeat.
WHY ITS BETTER: Using one arm at a time ensures
each arm gets max toning (not just the strong one).
A MORE POWERFUL
PLANK
1. Stand with feet hip-width apart.
Slowly bend at waist and touch
floor with palms, bending knees if
necessary. Walk hands forwards Straight legs
are the key.
one at a time until youre in a plank
position with palms under shoulders.
2. Spring feet forwards and land in a
low sumo squat. Jump back in plank
position, walk hands back towards
feet. Stand and repeat. Do 10 reps.
WHY ITS BETTER: Bending and
walking hands forwards warms
up your muscles while stretching
them out. Plus, jumping forwards
adds a cardio boost.
2

A RETOOLED BICYCLE
1. Lie on back, fingers behind ears. Lift shoulders and upper back,
and raise legs so theyre perpendicular to the floor.
2. Tilting feet inward, lower right leg so it hovers above the floor
and cross left leg over it. Return legs to perpendicular position, then
repeat on other side. Thats one rep; do 10.
WHY ITS BETTER: Keeping your legs straight makes it hard for
abs and obliques. The tilting works your thighs and bum. #

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 167

1
dotrybuy
What made it on our shortlist this month?
1. Eye candy
Give your lashes something to flutter about with 5
Rimmels new ScandalEyes XX-Treme Volume and
Length Mascara. The arched wand and two-prong
bristles give your eyes the stop-and-stare factor.
For stockists call 1800 812 663; RRP $16.95.

2. Seductive strands
Toni&Guys Perfect Tease Dry Shampoo is the saving
grace of second-day hair. The lightweight, invisible
formula has the right amount of volume and grip to give
2 your tendrils that effortlessly sexy look. For stockists
call 1800 061 027; RRP $15.99.

3 3. Powder-buff
INCs Diet Whey low-fat protein powder is the perfect
fitness hack for those of you who dont know your
dumbbells from your kettlebells. Packed with
micronutrients and antioxidants, your body will have the
energy it needs to get toned and strong. Exclusive to Lights, camera,
Chemist Warehouse, My Chemist and Discount Vitamin action!
Warehouse; RRP $29.99. Forget spending hours
on your makeup. Your
4. Look the part complexion will look picture-
Revamp your workout gear for Olympic-level perfect with one quick take of
motivation with Stephanie Rices new Winter 15 Revlons Photoready Airbrush
Effect Foundation. Spend less
collection for Russell Athletic. Visit russellathletic. time on the prep and more
com.au for more information. time at the party!
RRP $36.95.
5. The Nu you
If youre totally over using concealer and illuminator to
give your skin that healthy-glow look, why not opt for
the real thing instead? Nutrirs Collagen Boosting 6
Peptide Serum uses a combination of nutritional oils,
antioxidants and peptides to make your skin look
incred with #nomakeup. Available at leading
pharmacies; RRP $34.95.

6. Lovey-dovey
WORDS BY NATASHA HARDING

Is your relationship with your hair tangled, to say the

least? Doves new Hair Repair Shampoo, Conditioner
4 and Pure Care Dry Oil is the couples therapy to restore
that smooth-sailing romance. Shampoo and conditioner
(320ml) RRP $6.89 each; Dry Oil (100ml) RRP $19.99.
Visit mydove.com.au for more.
LIFESTYLIST

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 169

Try these inspired toppings from the snag-seller pros >
Invite your friends over and host your own dog show
LETS BE
FRANK
STYLING BY ALEXANDRA WHITING. PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANDREW FINLAYSON/BAUER. FROM LEFT BIG DOG BY MR CRACKLES (MRCRACKLES.COM.AU), THE DON DRAPER BY SODA FACTORY
(SODAFACTORY.COM.AU), CELINE DIOG BY THE STUFFED BEAVER (STUFFEDBEAVER.COM.AU), SPICY SPANISH CHORIZO BY SNAG STAND (SNAGSTAND.COM.AU)
 DELISH
DOGS

HOW
MRCRACKLES.COM.AU
Big Dog: Sauerkraut
+ pork crackling + tomato
TO
sauce + mustard.

MAKE
SODAFACTORY.COM.AU
The Don Draper: Diced

THE
onions + Monterey Jack
cheese + tomato sauce
+ American mustard
Back in 1946, George first, then milk. Its the

PERFECT
+ sweet relish.
Orwell wrote his famous only way to control how

CUP
essay A Nice Cup of Tea,
in which he said, One
should drink out of a
good breakfast cup that
is, the cylindrical type of
much milk you put in and
that you get a real tea
colour. Otherwise it stays
milk-coloured, which is
just plain wrong.

OF
cup, not the flat, shallow
type. The breakfast cup
holds more, and with the
other kind ones tea is
STUFFEDBEAVER.COM.AU always half cold before
Always use fresh water.
The more water boils, the
less oxygen it has, which
is needed for tea leaves to
release their flavour.

Celine Diog: Cheese + onion
+ tomato sauce + mustard.
SNAGSTAND.COM.AU
Spicy Spanish Chorizo:
TEA
one has well started on Brew for 3-5 minutes,
it. He had a point but then remove the tea bag.
the teacup is far prettier. Leaving it in is gross and
Stand by: the water ruins the taste, too.
should be boiling when Never ever, like, ever,
it touches the tea. Wait use a microwave to reheat
just five seconds after the your tea. If you do, youll
kettle clicks off and pour. end up offending every
Its a contentious issue, citizen of
but were sticking to water the UK.
In honour of the
Queens birthday, its SO WRONG, ITS RIGHT Ah, Prince Philip. Read
time you learnt how up on his finest moments, like when he declined to

to make a proper brew

Semi sun-dried tomatoes stroke a koala saying, Oh no, I might catch some
ghastly disease. The Wisdom of Prince Philip by
+ chipotle aioli + baby Antony A Butt, $12.95 (Hardie Grant).
rocket + goats cheese.

170 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 lifestylist

Good in bed Dcor mathematics to make your favourite room the most stylish
The ultimate first us
bedroom. If youve just
moved in together, start off
WORDS AND STYLING BY ALEXANDRA WHITING. PHOTOGRAPHY AND STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHY BY ANDREW FINLAYSON/BAUER. *PRICE CONVERTED TO AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS AND IS CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRINT

with cool gender-neutral

PIllow set: $59, Chip Chop!
(chipchop.com.au).
pieces and build on them as
you develop your joint-taste.
Plus, this bedside has extra
Light: $40, Target Bedside: $625, Plyroom
storage which youll need.
(target.com.au). (plyroom.com.au).

zzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

A totally grown-up space

Quilt set: from $100*, Urban
Outfitters (urbanoutfitters.com).
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
youll both love being in. An
eclectic Zen den with lots of
texture (rather than colour)
isboth relaxing and inspiring.
Not only that, but it makes
agreat #sundaysinbed Insta
Table: $349, post which is always good.
Freedom Wall hanging: $349, Table
(freedom.com.au). Tonic (tabletonic.com.au).

A pink bedroom thats still

Rug: $595, Beci Orpin at
Lark (larkstore.com.au).
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Bedside: $179, West Elm
(westelm.com.au).
totally boy-friendly. If youre
a girlie girl, then pink is the
colour (amen), but to make
itless man-repelling, go for
deeper tones in luxe fabrics
were so happy velvet is
Quilt cover: $229, Kip &
back for winter. Huzzah!
Co (kipandco.net.au).

The ideal slumber sanctuary

for lovers of the sleep-in.
Keeping everything mostly
monochrome will make the
room look clean and cosy,
plus its a great backdrop for
statement pieces like a bold
Blanket: $89.95, Rug: $49.95, picture cushion or print. >
Adairs (adairs. Cushion: $85, Matt Blatt Cotton On Kids
com.au). (mattblatt.com.au). (cottononkids.com.au).

MMMORE! Scan the page for a step-by-step on how to make your own tie-dye cushion cover. Clever you.

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 171

 Get leid
Cosmos Julia soaks
up another sunset.
W
hen you think of
Hawaii, its hard
not to envisage hula
girls and hibiscus
flowers. And while
the luaus, sunsets and salt in the air
are a given, theres another side to
the tropical paradise: the shopping.
Oahu, Hawaiis third largest
island, is where its at and, with cheap
flights direct to Honolulu, its an easy
trip. A half-hour walk from Waikiki
Beach is the Ala Moana Center, the
worlds biggest open-air shopping
mall, home to Macys, Forever 21,
Victorias Secret and Kate Spade,
with Bloomingdales due later this
year. In contrast, on the North Shore,
youll find empty beaches,
shrimp trucks and the
best choc-coconut
pie. Pure heaven!
The Modern
(left) promises
pool-side fun,
while Manifests
cocktails (below)
are sooo good!
172 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116
Cosmos Julia Naughton shows
you how to shop and bar-hop
your way around Hawaii
T OUCHDOWN
WAIKIKI BEACH
Beach by day and
bars by night. Sold.
Say aloha to amazing shopping, sunsets and cocktails
CHECK-IN The Modern Honolulu resort COCKTAIL HOUR
(themodernhonolulu.com) is the epitome Start your evening
of luxe. It has an adults-only sunset poolside at The
pool (with underwater speakers), daybeds Modern with a few
that make you feel like youre in The coconut mojitos, or head to The Study
Hamptons, multiple bars, a stunning spa located in the resorts lobby to enjoy
and sophisticated all-white hotel suites. a yummy Huckle Berry Fin (or two).
FIRST UP Get your surfer-girl on with a DINE Be sure to sample the amazing food
lesson at Hans Hedemann Surf School at Morimoto (morimotowaikiki.com),
(hhsurf.com). Youll bag the best views which fuses both Japanese and Western
of Waikiki as you surf or paddleboard flavours. The pork belly is next-level and
on long, peeling (aka non-scary) waves. for dessert, order the Chocolate Peanut
SHOP ON A holiday in Hawaii wouldnt be Bombe that comes with salted peanut
complete without paying several visits ice-cream. Trust us: its faceplant-worthy.
to the Ala Moana Center
(alamoanacenter.com).
Kalakaua Avenue in Julia having a major
Blue Crush moment.
Waikiki is also a great
place to splash the cash,
with H&M and Zara,
plus designer stores
like Chanel and Gucci.
 lifestylist
HAWAIIAN AIRLINES OFFERS A
SHOPPING PASSPORT FOR TRAVELLERS, GIVING YOU
DISCOUNTS AT STORES SUCH AS BALLY AND SEPHORA. The beach of
FLIGHTS TO HONOLULU RUN DAILY FROM SYDNEY AND dreams awaits
FOUR TIMES A WEEK FROM BRISBANE (AND BAGGAGE IS
UP TO 64KG WINNING!). FOR INFO,
SEE HAWAIIANAIRLINES.COM.AU.

DONT LEAVE
WITHOUT
L IQU I D A L OH A

HONOLULU
The citys craft cocktail
VISITING THE MEMORIAL
SITE AT PEARL HARBOUR
scene is full-on thriving A more serious side to
Hawaii, this is the resting C H I L L OU T

THE NORTH SHORE

SHAKE IT UP
Jump in a cab to Chinatowns
Manifest (manifesthawaii.com),
where youll find award-winning
mixologist Justin Park. Plus, the
first Friday of every month is
Chinatowns First Friday, where
the streets shut down and all the
bars get extra buzzy. A must.
TIME FOR A NIBBLE
Next up, head to Bevy (bevybar.
com) in Kakaako. Its famous for
its Mai Tai (it offers five different
kinds) along with its yummy tapas.
Try the Hurricane Flowers, the best
PHOTOGRAPHY BY HAWAII TOURISM AUTHORITY; OAHU VISITORS BUREAU/TAKAHIRO MASUDA. GETTY IMAGES
place of the sailors and
marines killed in the 1941
Japanese attack. Visit
pearlharborhistoricsites.org.
Wind it back a notch on the north side
DINING AT TOWN ROAD TRIP: Drive north for 50 minutes to Oahus North
Run by Oahu-born chef Ed Shore. PHOTO OPP: The famous beaches Sunset, Pipeline
Kenney, Town (townkaimuki. and Waimea Bay offer up monster waves during winter
com) has a farm-to-table (Dec-Feb), but in summer theyre much calmer. VISIT: The
approach and great menu.
Waialua Sugar Mill (sugarmillhawaii.com) has a farmers
market on weekends, plus Haleiwa is great for boutique
GOING HORSEBACK shopping. PIT STOP: Giovannis Shrimp Truck (giovannis
shrimptruck.com) in Kahuku is an institution serving
RIDING IN KUALOA RANCH
Ride on horseback through up shrimp cooked in butter and garlic with white rice.
Kaaawa Valley, where Simple? Yes. Delicious? You betchya. DONT MISS: The
Jurassic Park and Lost were Chocolate Haupia Cream Pie from Teds Bakery (teds
filmed the views are utterly
bakery.com). Theres a reason the locals wait in line here.
mind-blowing. See kualoa.
com for more information.

way to eat cauliflower. Promise. ORDERING A POKE BOWL

Fast food for locals, its CHANNEL YOUR INNER
A LITTLE MORE HEARTY
marinated yellowfin tuna on ADVENTURER BY
Finish off at Honolulu Beerworks
a mound of white rice. If you TAKING A WILDLIFE
(honolulubeerworks.com), Oahus CHARTER TOUR WITH
rustic warehouse craft brewery. like sushi, this is a winner.
Order the mac and cheese, then WILD SIDE HAWAII (SAIL
prepare to fall into a food coma. HAWAII.COM). YOULL Dolphins
SNORKEL IN CRYSTAL with huge
#soworthit A TRIP TO LILIHA BAKERY personalities.
Order a box of coco puffs CLEAR WATERS AMONG Dont forget
chocolate-filled puffed PLATTER-SIZED SEA your GoPro.
pastries with chantilly TURTLES, TROPICAL
frosting. Delicious! FISH AND FRIENDLY
SPINNER DOLPHINS.

CANT $79.95, Amalfi

$39.95,
Papier

AFFORD
(amalfi dAmour
homewares. $99.95,
(papier

THE
com.au). Blacklist
(blacklist damour.
com.au).

FLIGHT?
studio.
com).
$24.95 for set,
Sunnylife (sunnylife. $69, Matt Blatt
Bring Hawaii to your home com.au). (mattblatt.com.au). #

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 173

lifestylist

WATCH, FOLLOW, PLAY

N E X T- LE V E L
E X C I T E M E N T,
LESBI-HONEST
Pitch Perfect 2
is out May 7.
When
your trainer
tells you its
burpee time.

When the
results for
your UTI test
come back.

PITCH When
your ex
PERFECT 2 commits to
someone else.
HITS CINEMAS

WORDS BY JULIA NAUGHTON. PHOTOGRAPHY BY GILLIAN LAUB. FILMMAGIC

THIS MONTH.
T O C E L E B R AT E , Your
bestie tells
WERE you she cant
make your
THROWING birthday.

BACK TO OUR
FAVE REBEL When
you go to
MOMENTS unfollow that
friend on
Instagram.

San Andreas 3D
is out May 28.
I F A P O C A L Y P S E M O V I E S A R E Y O U R T H I N G Alexandra Daddario
stars in San Andreas, a new release about the world ending (maybe). The 29-year-
old got her big break in True Detective and is dating Logan Lerman (lucky girl).

174 COSMOPOLITAN.com.au TO SUBSCRIBE CALL 136 116

 TWO VERY HANDSOME
BRITISH MEN ONE WE KNOW, ONE WERE
ABOUT TO SEE MORE OF 50% OFF RRP
REMEMBER INTRODUCING Each month were offering two
JUDE LAW? JAMES BAY super-hot, fun and sexy eBooks
Well, hes back With a debut album for todays fun, fearless female.
(and still sexy) and sold-out tour
alongside funny supporting Hozier,
woman Melissa James Bay is fast
McCarthy in action-comedy Spy. becoming Britains answer to Damien
Its created by the same director of Rice. At 24, hes already caught Taylor
Bridesmaids, so LOLs are practically Swifts eye she even broke away from
guaranteed (lets just hope they leave her entourage to tell him in person that
out the poo jokes). she was a huge fan.
Spy hits cinemas May 21 Chaos and the Calm is out now
listen
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE,
How Big, How Blue, How
Beautiful
Florence Welch is back with
her third album, produced
by Markus Dravs, and its
just as powerful as the last EBOOK ON SALE NOW!
two albeit a little gentler.
The result? Big, textured
and dreamy. Out May 29
TO THIS

SNOOP DOGG, Bush

Naturally, Snoop brought in
his longtime friend Pharrell
Williams to produce his
upcoming record. And its
a good thing he did. Expect
to hear a full-on funk-a-thon
demanding an instant d-floor.
Out May 8

OF MONSTERS AND MEN,

Beneath the Skin
Icelandic indie-folk rockers
famous for tracks like Little
Talks release their sophomore Here are some EBOOK ON SALE NOW!
album this month. True to cheery tunes for
form, the first single, Crystal,
offers a sweet, soothing
#demchillynights
sound of hope. Out June 5
RECEIVE 50%
OFF THE RRP
IF THE WORLD ENDED TOMORROW... by Alexandra Daddario WHEN PURCHASING DIRECTLY
ID ID MAKE SURE ID THE LAST SONG THE LAST FROM HARLEQUINBOOKS.
CALL I DEVOURED TEXT ID LISTEN TO MOVIE ID COM.AU USING THE CODE
My A bowl of My Golden Slumbers WATCH... WORD: COSMO. OFFER VALID
mumma. ramen. sister. by The Beatles. The Jerk.
UNTIL JUNE 30, 2015.
 HOROSCO What to look forward to for the winter months ahead
22.06 22.07

LIFECAST: By the
time September
rolls around, youll
23.07 23.08

LIFECAST:
When Venus
goes retrograde
24.08 23.09

LIFECAST: Tie up
any loose ends
at work between
24.09 23.10

LIFECAST: Libra,
prepare to enter
Beast Mode when
24.10 22.11

LIFECAST: Youve
been killing it at
the office and
23.11 22.12

LIFECAST:
Prepare to join
the selfie-stick
23.12 20.01

LIFECAST: Get
ready, girl its
time to werk.
have checked off between July 31 May 19 and June Mercury rolls into brimming with brigade after When Mercury
lingering work and September 6, 11 while Mercury your zone of ideas. Important June 5, when goes direct on
to-dos, curbed watch your dollars is in retrograde. success on July 8. news about your Venus moves into June 11, your
a recent bout of and your words. Then bring your Go full throttle finances might your travel and productivity
spendy-ness, and That new career A-game in time until July 22, then help you decide adventure zone. will skyrocket.
renewed your idea youve been for the new moon veg out with your whats next. A If the urge to Re-evaluate
fitness vows. mulling over? on June 16. Hit girls and steer #blessed day on roam lingers it career goals
In other words, The new moon mute on the clear of drama. the 5th will set may be time for between June
youre #TheBoss. on August 14 negative self-talk! your career into a move. 14 and August 1.
SEXYCAST:
is go-time. overdrive.
SEXYCAST: From SEXYCAST: You With Venus in SEXYCAST: SEXYCAST: Your
June 24, go after SEXYCAST: are rarely swept retrograde, youll SEXYCAST: Work Congratulations! love-life is on fire!
what you want, Ex-sex might away by romance, be reflecting on may be speeding Your winter Sharing a steamy
because no one seem tempting but go with the past relationships. over a hundred will be full of fantasy on July
will be able to while Venus is in flow, even if it A friend or ex kilometres per fireworks. Youll 8 will lead to
refuse you. You retrograde, but involves someone might be a fun hour, but dont be radiating big fireworks.
and your partner consider whether a bit unexpected! fling, especially forget to enjoy charm all month Between July 25
will be vibrating thats what you Doubts may arise, around July 31s yourself! A hot and might even and September 6,
on the exact same really want. so see if you two full moon. Feel office fling might find the real a sore spot that
freaky frequency. Prepare for fiery can go deeper. more serious? be just the thing, thing. July 1 is you thought was
Make sure he can fun during the full By the time of Go for a getaway so give that cutie shaping up to settled might
make you smile moon on the 29th the full moon on together. Wear whos been be one of your resurface again.
outside the with your flame August 29, youll your heart on making eyes at sexiest days of Addressing it with
bedroom too, or a new hottie know what and your sleeve after you in the kitchen 2015. Make the compassion will
Miss Cancer. on the horizon. who you want. August 22. a second look. most of it. reap rewards.
CANCER
LEO
VIRGO
LIBRA
SCORPIO
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN

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OPES 21.01 19.02

LIFECAST: Your
career game
will be on fleek.
20.02 20.03

LIFECAST: This
is the winter of
Y-O-U. June is
21.03 20.04

LIFECAST: Say
yes to all the
nonstop invites
LIFECAST: In
Kate Upton
June 10, 1992

21.04 21.05

June, focus on
feathering your
GEMINI
22.05 21.06
Stellar gifts: Gemini is the seeker
of the zodiac. Youre cerebral,
always sparking new ideas. Your
intellect stimulates creativity in
other signs, but sometimes you
need help structuring your bright
thinking into concrete concepts.
Lifecast: Mercury goes retrograde
between May 18 and June 11
perfect time to tweak your look or
You might have ideal for chilling coming your way, nest. A happy
strategy. The full moon on July 31
a difficult with family. Deal especially travel home is key when
is ideal for a getaway. While Venus
conversation with any home- opportunities, things get hectic.
is in retrograde from July 25 to
around July 8, related issues around June 2. As your social life
September 6, communicate more

THE
but if you say before July 25. Take a break in moves into high
IRL to cut down confusion.
what needs to be If you put in a July to spend QT gear, savour time
Sexycast: Reunite with old friends
GEMINI
said, it will be a little extra effort with friends and with your crew
win. August 11 before Venus family. When and the cool new after June 5, when Venus moves

GUY
means cha-ching goes direct on Jupiter moves kids youve met. into your zone of homey, festive
when lucky September 6, into your career fun. A special Venus and Jupiter
SEXYCAST: Right conjunction on July 1 gives your sex
Jupiter moves youll yield some zone on August
now is about Macklemore life extra sizzle, so make those sly,
into your zone amazing results. 11, major risks
forging lasting JUNE 19 naughty thoughts a reality. If youve
of finances. at work will reap
SEXYCAST: On connections. wanted more from an FWB, take
rewards, so lean
SEXYCAST: Get June 21, the Sun Prioritise alone LOVES: A girl things to the next level around the
the eff in!
ready to be loved moves into Pisces time with you- whos playful and new moon on August 14.
up! Between July and kicks off a SEXYCAST: Your know-who. The in touch with her
25 and September four-week period priority has to be full moon on
Love match: Sagittarius shares
WORDS BY AURORA TOWER. EDITED BY LAUREN BROUNSTEIN. ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY REBECCA SLOAN. GETTY IMAGES

inner child. the wanderlust of Gemini only

6, a former of major romance. getting in touch July 1 is perfect
HATES: Strict in a more physical way. Sags
romantic co-star If old problems with what you for a romantic
plans and clear-mindedness pairs well with
will re-enter the start to resurface really want. Go getaway, so hit
anything too your tendency to spark off idea
scene. Whether in August, be for it when Venus up Airbnb. August
predictable. after idea.
its a cameo or patient with your moves into your 11 is one of your
a recurring role boo; its the little house of love on luckiest days of DREAM DATE:
Best read: China Rich Girlfriend
is up to you. things that count. June 5. the year. by Kevin Kwan. Free-spirited Gems
A coffee, that
will click with this hilarious story
turns into a
of far-east money and mayhem.
movie, that turns
into a late-night Perfect buy: Sally Hansens
AQUARIUS
PISCES
ARIES
TAURUS

pizza. Complete Salon Manicure in

Almost Almond. Sally Hansen
WIN HIM OVER: Complete Salon
By surprising him Manicure in
with a quirky date Almost Almond,
$14.95.
idea Game of
Thrones book
club, anyone?

COSMOPOLITAN June 2015 177

before you go

THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

6 GRAPHS that prove life is an emotional minefield

WHAT YOU ORDER OFF THE MENU LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN A PICTURE

The healthy but Whatever The same What you

unappetising your thing you really NOW: IN THE FUTURE:
option. friend gets. always order. want. I look so gross. I was so hot back then.

HAVING A SHOWER AFTER YOU PUT ON NAIL POLISH

will smudge it.
Chance you

Washing yourself. Nowhere Hanging with Most important

Making life-changing decisions. to go. the girls. day of your life.

YOUR BOSS CALLS YOU INTO HER OFFICE ONLINE SHOPPING

Find the Have lots

perfect thing. of money.
On a good When you When your Hungover with
WORDS BY REBECCA SLOAN

hair day. have lots outfit is on a major skin

of ideas. point. break-out.

NEVER ALWAYS None in your size.

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