Balancing Life and Work

Two of the topics frequently requested by people who take our survey are "Balancing
Life and Work" and "Stress Management." This month we offer some tools to assess
how balanced your life is and tips for avoiding job burnout. This material is adapted
from a recent Victim Advocate training institute held by the MADD Orange County and
MADD Los Angeles chapters and used with permission. In addition, we offer a guest
article with tips on organizing your desk to exert some control over office chaos that
contributes to daily work overload.

Life Inventory

There are four areas to this life inventory: healthy work, family, play and self.

1 = Never True 2=Sometimes True 3=Often True 4=Always True

Put the number that best fits you in the blank beside each statement. At the end of each
area you will get your total score by adding the eight numbers in each area and putting
the sum in the blank at the end of the area.

Area 1: Healthy Work

1. _____ I have many interests outside of my work duties

2. _____ I spend as much time after hours with family and friends as [at] I do with
co-workers.
3. _____ I enjoy my work today as much as ever and I am productive and effective
at what I do.
4. _____ I work overtime only on special occasions.
5. _____ I am able to leave my work at the workplace.
6. _____ I am good at organizing and pacing my work time so that it doesn't
interfere with other commitments.
7. _____ I work moderately, pace myself and confine my job to regular working
hours.
8. _____ I spend an equal amount of time relaxing and socializing with friends as I
do working.

TOTAL WORK SCORE _____

Area 2: Family

1. _____ I communicate well with the members of my family.

2. _____ I take an active interest in the lives of my other family members.
3. _____ My family spends quality time together.
4. _____ My family plays together and takes family outings regularly.
5. _____ I participate actively in family celebrations and traditions.
6. _____ I have good interpersonal relationships with other family members.
 7. _____ I enjoy spending time with my family.
8. _____ My family and work life are in harmony with each other.

TOTAL FAMILY SCORE _____

Area 3: Play

1. _____ I socialize with friends who are not co-workers.

2. _____ I enjoy social gatherings.
3. _____ I like to unwind with friends.
4. _____ I go out socially with friends.
5. _____ My social life and work life are in harmony with each other.,
6. _____ I enjoy inviting friends to my home.
7. _____ I like to play and have fun with others.
8. _____ It feels good to laugh, have a fun time and get my mind off of work.

TOTAL PLAY SCORE _____

Area 4: Self

1. _____ I plan time each day just for me to do whatever I want to do.
2. _____ For fun I have a hobby or recreation that I enjoy.
3. _____ I take time out each week for my spiritual development through activities
such as worship, inspirational readings, meditation or a 12-step program.
4. _____ I eat nutritional, well-balanced meals.
5. _____ I make sure I get adequate rest.
6. _____ I engage in daily physical exercise.
7. _____ I send myself positive mental messages and try to look for the best in
myself.
8. _____ I make sure I get my personal needs met.

TOTAL SELF SCORE _____

Scoring:

1. Using the Balance Wheel of Life that follows, put an 'X' on the number in each
area that corresponds with your total score.
2. Draw a line from that number to the center of the wheel.
3. Then darken the entire area of the circle from your total score back to the number
"8".
4. Repeat these steps for all four areas of the wheel.
5. The part of the wheel that has the biggest shaded area is the area in which you are
most balanced.
6. The part that is less complete is the area of your life that may need attention.
 Are You in Danger of Burning Out?

Rate each question on a scale of 1 to 5:

1 = never, 2=rarely, 3=sometimes, 4=often, 5=always

Your Job
 1. _____ Are you overloaded with work?
2. _____ Are you denied time off -breaks, lunch time, sick leave, vacations?
3. _____ Are you required to work long shifts or frequent overtimes?
4. _____ Are you provided with too little training in interpersonal skills?
5. _____ Do you lack clear guidelines for your job?
6. _____ Does your job entail so many different tasks that you feel fragmented and
overwhelmed?
7. _____ Is your pay too low?
8. _____ Are you lacking enough funds to accomplish agency goals?
9. _____ Do you lack access to a social/professional support group?
10. _____ Do you spend considerable time with fellow staff after hours?

Your Attitude:

1. _____ Does excessive paperwork seem to keep you from doing a good job?
2. _____ Does it seem like you have to make all the decisions around the office?
3. _____ Do your boss's skills seem to be totally inadequate for that position?
4. _____ Are you sometimes confused about whether you should be helping people
or controlling them?
5. _____ Does it seems that people in distress are usually too upset to make
important decisions?
6. _____ Are you emotional needs met almost entirely by your job and interactions
with colleagues?
7. _____ Do you feel you have to do everything you are asked on the job?
8. _____ Do you feel there is a rule for every situation and every situation fits a
rule?
9. _____ Does it seem hopeless to try to change the system?
10. _____ Do you feel you must respond to all requests of your clients and your
administration?

How You Feel:

1. _____ Do you feel a loss of the ability to be an effective helper or leader?

2. _____ Do you dread going to work?
3. _____ Are you exhausted even when you get enough sleep?
4. _____ Do you feel unappreciated and "used" by clients and co-workers?
5. _____ Do you get angry or irritated easily?
6. _____ Do you worry at night and have trouble sleeping?
7. _____ Do you have recurring headaches, stomachaches, or lower back pain?
8. _____ Do you feel overwhelmed by your job?
9. _____ Do you resist telling people what you do for a living?
10. _____ Is it difficult for you to unwind at the end of a work day?

Your Behavior:

1. _____ Is it difficult for you to empathize with clients about their problems?
 2. _____ Do you seem to categorize clients rather than listen to their individual
needs?
3. _____ Do you consistently use labels when discussing your clients?
4. _____ Do you enjoy "sick" humor about clients with other staff.
5. _____ Do you try to avoid clients and co-workers?
6. _____ Do you apply the rules more rigidly than you used to?
7. _____ Do you generally seem to express negative attitudes?
8. _____ Have you been increasing your use of tobacco, drugs and/or alcohol?
9. _____ Do you miss work frequently?
10. _____ Are you always watching the clock?

Scoring:

0 - 40 = Level of stress is in good balance

41 - 80 = Level of stress is low,
81 - 120 = Level of stress is moderate, need awareness of burnout indicators
121 - 160 = Level of stress is high, experiencing burnout
161+ = Level of stress is excessive

Coping with Job Burnout

Is it happening to you? Worn out, exhausted, tired, not wanting to get up in the morning,
drained, unable to see relief in sight? If this sounds like you, you may be falling victim to
burnout

"In today's high pressure world, burnout is often referred to as 'the disease of our times',
but few people are able to recognize it and even fewer understand its causes and the
preventative measures that can be taken to avoid or lessen its impact," says clinical social
worker Jackie Price.

According to Price, burnout is actually a syndrome that is the end-result of stress. It is

characterized by physical and emotional exhaustion accompanied by an inability to
continue to struggle toward the achievements of goals and expectations. Signs of burnout
include negative thinking, avoidance of conflict, guilt, anger, resentment and the feeling
that work is a burden.

"Individuals suffering from burnout frequently tell themselves, 'I must be all things to all
people,' or 'To be a worthwhile employee I must work long hours and take work home.'
Given these beliefs, they enter into a vicious cycle. It often goes something like this: 'I
am too tired to do what I should be doing so I will slack off and let some rest.' Followed
by, 'I am not doing what I expect of myself and need to work harder.' Followed by, 'I am
pushing myself too hard and need to slow down.' On and on it goes in a downward
spiral. Because it is difficult to stop this downward spiral, prevention is the best cure,"
says Price.
Several personality types that are highly susceptible to burnout include the worker who
tends to take on too much, for too long, too intensely; the worker whose needs become
secondary to his work, using work as a substitute for real life; and the worker who is so in
need of control that he never feels anyone else can do anything, as well as he can. These
individuals are often placing themselves under high levels of stress, performing
unpleasant tasks, unable to see success in their work, isolated, and unwilling, to ask for
help.

During periods of high demand they excel, but as the demand keeps up, they begin to
show sips of wear. "Learning to cope with the stress associated with work and home is
also beneficial. It is also important to remember that the world has changed. The
standards and attitudes instilled by your parents may need modification in today's world.
Working in a demanding and changing environment takes energy and stamina," says
Price. If you are burned out, you won't survive long. You will find yourself becoming
disillusioned with your work and your life. The following actions can reduce your stress
level in the workplace and in many other aspects of your life:

• Distinguish between what you can change and what you can't; accept the givens.
• Establish a priority list of job tasks and learn to delegate.
• Mix up stress and non-stress projects.
• Set limits.
• Build a support system of co-workers and friends.
• View yourself as having alternatives and choices.
• Take things less personally.
• Re-examine your values - clarify what is important in the roles you play.
• Recognize internal (shoulds, oughts) sources of stress.
• Provide your own reinforcements.
• Acknowledge at the end of the day, each week, what you did that was good.

Burnout Club — Rules and Regulations

1. Be a "perfectionist" - never accept anything less than perfection.

2. Work at least ten hours each day; work as many holidays as possible.
3. Adhere to a diet of "fast foods" and candy bars.
4. Adhere to inflexible idealism.
5. Assume the responsibility for solving the problems of all your friends, family and
co-workers.
6. Never delegate any responsibility.
7. Never say "NO" - try to please all of the people all of the time.
8. Never waste time relaxing.
9. Never exercise.
10. Never take any time off for yourself; if you are ever forced to do so, feel as guilty
as possible about it.
11. You must remember that everyone comes first - your needs come last.
12. Above all, get emotionally involved in everything you do. Learn to empathize in
all aspects of your life.
 The DOs and DON'Ts of Helping Others

Some of these questions are directed specifically toward counselors, those who help
others or who are in support roles. This includes most supervisors, managers and
executives, who must frequently deal with the stress of co-workers or employees.
Change the words to fit your own situation.

• DON'T try to "fix" the situation or the other person.

• DO attempt to comfort and assist those you work with.
• DON'T jump to conclusions; DO get all available facts
• DON'T try to be the "hero".
• DO utilize your resources and ask others for theirs.
• DON'T offer what you cannot deliver or make promises you cannot keep.
• DO use referrals to help accomplish the job when needed.
• DO listen completely with as few interruptions as possible.
• DON'T impose your values and beliefs on the other person; realize that people in
stress will find comfort in their own cultures, traditions and beliefs.
• DON'T undermine your usefulness by draining your emotional resources.
Maintain a healthy separation between your work and your personal life.
• DON'T allow anyone to push you beyond your limits.
• DO learn to say "NO" in order to maintain your boundaries to avoid burnout.
• DON'T ignore your own emotional reactions to the suffering of others. Have
someone to whom you can talk about your feelings.
• DO enjoy helping others.
• DO remember - you are not alone. Use your own support system when needed.

16 Tips For Tough Times

Research and experience shows that when people with anger problems change their self-
talk, their anger DE-ESCALATES and they regain control. When you feel yourself
starting to get angry, take a TIME OUT and read these statements to yourself.

1. I do not need to prove myself in any situation. I can stay calm.

2. As long as I keep my cool, I am in control of myself.
3. 3. No need to doubt myself. What other people say doesn't matter. I am the only
person who can make me mad or keep me calm.
4. Time to relax and slow things down. Take TIME OUT.
5. I feel angry; that must mean I'm hurt or scared. My anger is a signal. Time to
talk to myself and relax.
6. I don't need to feel threatened. I can relax and stay cool:
7. Nothing says I have to be competent and strong all the time. It is okay to feel
unsure or confused.
8. It is impossible to control other people and situations. The only thing I can
control is myself and how I express my feelings.
9. It is okay to be uncertain or insecure sometimes. I do not need to be in control of
everything and everybody.
10. If people criticize me, I can survive that. Nothing says I have to be perfect.
11. If people want to go off the wall, that is their thing. I do not need to respond to
their anger or feel threatened.
12. When I get into an argument, I can stay with my plan and know what to do. I can
take a TIME OUT.
13. Most things we argue about are stupid and insignificant. My anger results from
having old primary feelings restimulated. It is okay to walk away from this fight.
14. It is nice to have other people's love and approval, but even without it, I can still
accept and like MYSELF.
15. People put erasers on the ends of pencils for a reason. It is okay to make
mistakes.
16. People will act the way they want to, not the way I want them to.