Report Rough Draft

by Rebecca Rubio

Submission date: 21-Oct-2017 01:31PM (UT C-0500)

Submission ID: 866546335
File name: 217FA-ENGL-1301-01_63138880_1066020000_Report_Rough_Draf t.docx (14.71K)
Word count: 965
Character count: 4810
 1

Awk.

Coll. No Personal words- No I, you, we, us, "one", et c

Repet it ive Awk.

5
 Cont ract ions

Frag.

Cit at ion f ormat T rash Word

9 10

11

Unnecessary
 12 13 Missing ","

Coll.

14

15

Wordy
 16

17
Report Rough Draft
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

/100 Instructor

PAGE 1

Comment 1
need last name and page number

Comment 2
good inf ormation but need more f ocus in your paragraphs....still a little dis-jointed...also, what is
the other side...it seems as if you have demonstrated that college is expensive but not that it is
necessary .....

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 3
consider adding.....something about .....although a college education seems important to
success, students do not....

Comment 4
I do not believe this is true....colleges do not set tuition to weed out people who are only
wasting time...there are many complex issues that set tuition...cost of administration, f acilities,
f aculty...student activities, etc., decrease in contributions f rom state and f ederal entities,
increase in costs, etc.

QM Coll.
Inappropriate use of slang, clichd phrases, or idiomatic expressions:
T he use of slang, clichd phrases and idiomatic expressions can conf use your readers and
destroy the f ormal tone of your writing.

QM No Personal words- No I, you, we, us, "one", etc

QM Repetitive
 Unnecessary repetition:
Avoid redundant use of words or phrases. Be aware of what is inherent to the words you
choose to use, e.g. you would not write "the resulting ef f ects" as "ef f ects" are results and thus
are always resulting f rom something. Also be aware of what the acronyms and abbreviations
you use stand f or, e.g. when using the acronym "AT M" you should not write "AT M machine" as
"machine" is already in the acronym.

QM Awk.
Awkward:
T he expression or construction is cumbersome or dif f icult to read. Consider rewriting.

Comment 5
I don't understand the purpose of parts of this paragraph....it seems to jump f rom the dif f iculty
of college to cost to high school to extra curriculars...I don't understand how this supports your
thesis

PAGE 2

QM Contractions
No Contractions

QM Frag.
Fragment:
A sentence f ragment is a phrase or clause that is in some way incomplete. Such f ragments
become problematic when they attempt to stand alone as a complete sentence. T he most
common version of this mistake occurs when a writer mistakes a gerund (a verb that acts like a
noun) f or a main verb, as in the f ollowing sentence: "In bed reading Shakespeare f rom dusk to
dawn."

Comment 6
topic sentence should represent inf ormation in the paragraph...remember the MEAL plan

Comment 7
why would it take ten years if you are going f ull time??? this is a logical f allacy....

Comment 8
this sounds a bit ranty... consider making more neutral

QM Trash Word
So, Really, Very, etc. are unnecessary. T hey are trash words.

QM Citation f ormat
 Comment 9
I am not sure what the f ocus is in this paragraph...you begin with cost ... then f inancial aid...then
quality of education...need to f ocus

Comment 10
don't put words in your reader's mouth..instead, f ind a way to say it...consider....Students of ten
consider playing sports to gain their college education....

Comment 11
may need sources f or this...how do you know?

QM Unnecessary
Unnecessary

PAGE 3

QM Missing ","
Missing comma:
T hough it may not always be grammatically necessary, a comma can of ten help to prevent a
misreading. When a sentence opens with an introductory element (a phrase, clause or word that
is logically related to another phrase or clause in the same sentence), it is a great help to your
reader to place a comma af ter that introductory element. Such phrases will of ten begin with
words like "because," "while" or "although," as in the f ollowing example: "While everyone was
f ighting, the bear wandered away." As you can see, without the comma, the sentence would be
conf using.

Comment 12
this is not true....everyone is not required

Comment 13
to have

QM Coll.
Inappropriate use of slang, clichd phrases, or idiomatic expressions:
T he use of slang, clichd phrases and idiomatic expressions can conf use your readers and
destroy the f ormal tone of your writing.

Comment 14
this becomes an argument....

Comment 15
 some of this sounds ranty....

QM Wordy
Wordy:
If you use too many words to describe a relatively minor point, your paper may seem wordy. In
order to be as concise as possible, trim your sentences down and use longer, more meaningf ul
words. T ry to use f ewer two- and three-letter words, passive constructions, and weak verbs
such as "seem" and "appear."

PAGE 4

Comment 16
should be in alphabetical order

Comment 17
why is this here?
Report Rough Draft
ORIGINALITY REPORT

24 %
SIMILARIT Y INDEX
18%
INT ERNET SOURCES
6%
PUBLICAT IONS
24%
ST UDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to Pasadena City College
St udent Paper 5%
2
Submitted to Alvin Community College
St udent Paper 4%
3
Submitted to North Lake College
St udent Paper 4%
4
Submitted to University of Central Florida
St udent Paper 3%
5
Submitted to University of Dayton
St udent Paper 3%
6
Submitted to Laney College
St udent Paper 3%
7
Submitted to Collin County Community College
St udent Paper 2%

Exclude quotes Of f Exclude matches Of f

Exclude bibliography Of f