NOTES ON FAMILY

The interaction Should sister report her brothers smoking? is fairly self-
explanatory.

Daughter has a grudge against Son (her brother), and will report his smoking
so that Father can punish him.

Mother is appalled at this, and will defend Son against Daughters accusations
if she carries on in this way.

The present future: Daughter is reporting Sons smoking, Mother is defending

Son, and Father is therefore not punishing Son. Instead, he suggests that
Mother should talk to Son about smoking.

Sons friends (confrontation) explains why Daughter has a grudge against Son.

She wants him to introduce her to his friends, and not rubbish her to them.

He wants her not to tease and interrupt when he is with his friends.

She threatens to report his smoking to their parents. The present future is the
threatened future.

In Sons friends (agreement) the siblings agree that he will introduce his sister to his
friends and not rubbish her, and she will stop reporting his smoking and stop teasing
and interrupting. However, he doesnt trust her not to tease and interrupt, and she
doesnt trust him to introduce his friends and not rubbish her. The present future has
changed in that

she no longer reports him

it has become uncertain whether she will tease and interrupt and whether he
will introduce her to his friends and not rubbish her.

The next four interactions form a series. In Mother-Son talk Mother has said she
wants to talk to Son about smoking. He has shrugged. She has said she wont report
his smoking to his father, but asks him to stop. She gets nowhere because the
threatened future belongs to his position.

In Mother gets angry she threatens, after all, to report him to his father. She still
gets nowhere. He doesnt believe her, therefore prefers the threatened future to her
position.
In Mother gets angrier she threatens to report him to the police.(Note: creation of
new option). He doesnt believe her, but the threat is sufficiently grave to give him a
rejection dilemma. Both now have rejection dilemmas. Time, perhaps, to compromise.

In Mother-Son agreement they compromise. They will both talk to Father (two new
options created). Meanwhile, son carries on smoking.

This agreement is stable. No dilemmas. The parties trust each other.