Treating Our Parents with Respect and Good Manners

Throughout the last few weeks we have heard the inspiring stories of several
Companions of the Prophet s.a.w. They were nurtured and guided by
Rasulullah s.a.w to become among those whom Allah is pleased with. May we
be able to continue to increase our taqwa, uphold Allahs commandments and
avoid all that He has forbidden upon us, so that Allah may be pleased with us
too.

The Companions of Nabi s.a.w. have attained Allahs pleasure and blessings.
Indeed, wouldnt everybeliever want to attain this nikmat as well? But what have
we done to deserve Allahs grace and blessings? Is there still a way for us to
work toward receiving Allahs nikmat even though the Prophet s.a.w is no longer
living among us today? My brothers, there are definitely paths for us to follow to
attain Allahs pleasure. In fact, there are two people who can be the keys for us
to achieve Allahs love.

These two people are important in our lives. They cannot bear to see us suffer
and will do anything to make us happy. They are none other than our dear
parents, our beloved mothers and fathers. These days, we have members of
the community who worry because they read about the increasing life
expectancy for the community in other words, the elderly are living longer and
this includes our own family members and relatives.

But my brothers, we should be happy because if we keep ourselves close to

Allah s.w.t., we will see that this is an opportunity to earn a place in Allahs
paradise, instead of seeing it as a burden. In fact, Prophet s.a.w. said in a
hadith which means:
It is such a loss, such a loss, such a loss, a person who sees either one or
both his parents in old age but does not enter Paradise [Muslim]

Subhanahallah! This is what Rasulullah s.a.w. had taught us. Our parents who
are still with us today, are like jewels to be cherished and polished, to help us
earn a place in Paradise in the Hereafter.
My brothers, remember, that the commandment to treat our parents with
kindness and good manners is closely linked to our faith. Allah s.w.t. said in
surah Al-Ankabut verse 8:

Which means: And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if
they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no
knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about
what you used to do.

My dear brothers, it is unfortunate that we often hear of sad and heart-

wrenching stories from our community, about elderly parents who are
abandoned by their children. However, despite all that Alhamdulillah there are
still many among us who look after andtreat our parents with gentleness and
respect. In fact, we must continue to strongly uphold this value. No matter what
happens to us, we should never abandon and neglect our parents. There will
definitely be times when it is challenging and difficult to care for them. During
those times, take a step back and remember their sacrifices for us. When they
were young, healthy and energetic, they gave their all to ensure that they are
able to provide us with the best.

As they live out their remaining years, they yearn for us to treat them with
gentleness, compassion, good manners and affection. So let us treat them with
utmost kindness for as long as they are with us.

Dear ..
In treating them with good manners, there are several matters that we need to
be aware of.

First, speak to them with utmost respect, humility and affection.

It may sound so simple, but can at times, be difficult for us to maintain as such.
Train ourselves to make it a habit to speak politely and gently. When our
parents call out to us, respond quickly and with endearment. This will definitely
please them and warm their hearts. Even when we are angry, think before we
speak. Calm ourselves first, be patient and let the anger dissipate. Only when
we are calm and composed, then we should start to speak. We must be aware
and try our best to understand the emotional and pyschological changes that
our elderly parents are experiencing. Remember, one day we ourselves will
grow old, just like our parents.

If we are able to speak to our friends with compassion, and laugh happily with
them, why are we not able to do the same with our dear parents? Dont our
parents deserve a more special treatment from us?

Remember my brothers, raising our voices, shouting at our parents, scolding

them or even saying oh or ah, is forbidden by Allah s.w.t. Allah says in surah
Al-Israa verse 23:
Which means: And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him,
and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age
[while] with you, say not to them [so much as], uff, and do not repel them but
speak to them a noble word.
Second, ensure that we are there for them and are supporting them
physically, financially and emotionally.
There is no greater reward from Allah, other than caring for our parents when
they are in need of our love and affection. Hence, would it not be a great loss
and dishonourable in the sight of Allah, if we are to abandon and neglect our
parents, such that they are left alone without any assistance during their times
of need.

To those who are looking after their parents, be kind and gentle in taking care of
their affairs, strive to make them feel comfortable in our homes, as they have
ensured our comfort when we were growing up in their homes. Never, not even
once, let them feel as if they are tenants or they are merely seeking shelter in
our homes. Instead, make them feel that it is their home as well.

For those who are not given the opportunity of taking care of their parents, visit
them even if it is just once a week. Teach our children the importance of visiting
the elderly, and impress upon them that doing so leads to barakah or blessings
in our lives.
May our good manners and respect toward our parents, which is nothing
compared to their sacrifices in raising us, be accepted and blessed by Allah.
May Allah shower His mercy upon both our parents in this world and the
Hereafter. Amin.