3.1 Love (M.

Scott Peck)
Love
Definition: the will to extend ones self for the purpose of nurturing ones own or anothers spiritual
growth
Love has a purpose of self-Extension
Development is active and effortful
Implication: life is a series of problems to be overcome, which in turn helps us becoming
better people
Teleological; defined in terms of its purpose and necessity of discipline consisting of:
4 components
Delaying gratification - forgo immediate pleasure for greater good
Acceptance of responsibility - recognize life has problems and ones abilities to
solve them
Openness to truth - response to new information, changing world view according to
facts
Dunning Kruger Effect
Balancing - bracketing and prioritizing
Transcendental: extending ones self is an evolutionary process
Discipline is the means of human spiritual evolution
Implies effort; love is not effortless.
Unitary; includes self-love with love for the other
Cannot love another unless we love ourselves
Cannot forsake our own spiritual development for someone elses
Nemo dat quod non habet.
Voluntary; love is a choice
Desire vs. action
Desire isnt necessarily translated into action.
Will entails this translation
Will implies choice; we choose to love
Love is volitional rather than emotional
Parallels with Christian Mysticism
Purgative - remove attachments to sin
Illuminative - gifts like spiritual consolation from God through prayer
Unitive - loving not merely for Gods gifts but for the sake of love
Falling in love
AKA Infatuation
Misconception about love; believed to be a manifestation of love
A sex-linked erotic experience
Invariably temporary
Inevitability of falling out of love
Feelings are transitory; the ecstasy always passes
Love is not a feeling (see Cathexis)
Disinterested love - one can love without having feelings of lovingness
Ego boundaries
Develop a sense of self; distinction between self and the world
Collapse when we fall in love
Temporary escape; release of oneself from oneself
Act of regression
Ego boundaries snap back into place when we fall out of love
Not an act of will
 Extension of ego boundaries
Transcending personal limits
Integrating with the other; when youre happy, i am happy
Myth of romantic love
Fairy tales
Happily ever after; the feeling lasts forever
Lack of hardships and effort in sustaining a relationship
Cathexis
Process of commitment, attachment and attraction
I love coffee.
We love the family dog
Only love them insofar as their wills coincide with ours
Attachment over interdependence
Parents who only love their children as infants
Dependency
Inability to experience wholeness or to function without the certainty that one is being actively cared
for by another
No choice or freedom in the relationship
Passive dependency
Constantly looking to be in a relationship
Cannot tolerate loneliness
Define themselves solely by their relationships
Desire to be babied; no effort involved
Only concerned with what other people can do for them
I need you; necessity, not love
Often rooted in parental failure to love; perpetuates a cycle
Self-sacrifice
Perversion of love
Form of sadomasochism
Normally defined as enjoyment derived from inflicting or receiving physical pain
Actually not necessarily sexual in nature

3.2 Deus Caritas Est (Benedict XVI)

AKA God is Love.
Semantics of Love
Filipino: pag-ibig vs. pagmamahal
Eros, Philia and Agape (Greek)
Eros
Worldly love
2 aspects:
Rooted in mans very nature
Directs man towards marriage; a bond which is unique and definitive
Ascending love; ecstasy
True eros calls for ascent, renunciation, purification and healing
Greeks:
Seen as pure intoxication; sexual
Opposed by the OT
Friedrich Nietzsche: Christianity has poisoned eros
Criticizes Christianity for being opposed to the body; eros reduced to pure
sex
 Calls Catholic morality a kind of slave morality - designed to make you feel
bad about doing what you like
Stance is amoral, not immoral
Countered by Benedict XVI
OT doesnt condemn sexuality (read on chastity)
It condemns the abuse and exploitation of ones sexual faculties
(6th and 9th commandments)
Agape
Descending love
Shaped by faith
Cannot be completely separated from eros
Gods love is both erotic and agapic
Our God is a jealous god; seeks the faithfulness of his people
(monotheism)
The Bible as a love letter of God to His people
Prophets Hosea and Ezekiel describe Gods passion using erotic
images; analogy of betrothal
God seeks the good of his people; created us because he loves us
Shema Israel - Judaism, prayer
Love is a single reality but has different dimensions
Philia
Love of friendship
Relationship between Jesus and his disciples
Hebrew words
Dodim
Love that is insecure, searching
Ababa
Similar to Agape
Care for the other; seeks the good of the other
Jesus Christ
Incarnate love of God
Shown in many parables
Jesus gave himself up for man to save him
Last Supper
Logos becomes food for our nourishment
Agapic; Gods self oblation
Love of God and neighbor
Can we love God even though we cant see him?
God is not completely invisible; revelation
God sent His Son
Love of neighbor; love of enemy
Love is divine because it comes from God

3.3 A Theology of Marriage: An Introduction (Dacanay)

Marriage
Union of one man and one woman in one lifetime
Both Generative and Unitive
Marriage is permanent because it is a m
Christian marriage is an eternal reality
 Widows who remarry commit adultery
Old Testament
The first institution of marriage (Gen 2:24 Adam and Eve)
Already contained some of the properties of marriage such as being a lifelong union and
between a man and a woman
1st occurrence in the Bible
Marriage as an institution of nature
This means that marriage is not limited to Christians
Aided by but not dependent on grace
Significance in canon law
They do not judge sacramental marriage but rather true marriage
True marriage: Highest degree of fidelity and human virtue
Mosaic Law
Prohibition on specific unions (Ex. 20:14, Lev. 18)
Adultery

Punishments (Lev.20)
Divorce
No explicit commandment to divorce although the permission is implied (Deut. 24:1-4)
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds
something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to
her and sends her from his house, 2 and if after she leaves his house she becomes
the wife of another man, 3 and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a
certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, 4
then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she
has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord. Do not bring sin
upon the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance.
Pre-industrial age
Ancient civilizations had definite marriage customs
Retention of jewish/pagan marriage customs
Christianized customs
Marriage is a social fact
Celebration not regulated by church
Early christians adopted to civil laws on marriage
Marriage produced legal effects
Required consent of parties
Legitimization of children/inheritance rights
What made marriage?
Consent
Roman Law (consent) vs German Law (marriage should start with consummation)
Consesualism
Emphasis on free exchange of consent
Consummationism
Emphasis on sex
No such thing as pre marital sex
Both did not account for love
Synthesis: Consent makes marriage and consummation makes it permanent - Pope alexander III
Matrimony
Union between two baptized people
CIC 1983, C1055
 Marriage between the baptized has been raised by christ to the dignity of a
sacrament.
A sacrament is defined as an outward sign of inward grace, ordained by
jesus christ by which grace is given to our soul
Accordingly, a valid marriage contract between baptized people whitout its being by
that very fact, a sacrament
2 Properties of Marriage
Unity
One man and one woman
Indissolubility
Lifelong
Although made by consent, marriages are not broken by itw withdrawal
2 Natural Purposes
The good of the spouses
Marriage is ordered to the education and well-being of their children
Not just in terms of being book-smart

3.4 Dominical Teaching on Divorce and Marriage (P. Mankowski)

Genesis 2:24
Second creation account
Showed the original design of marriage; before the fall of man
Marriage partner is found outside ones family of origin
Emphasis on procreation over unitive dimension
Man and woman become one flesh; come to be of a new entity
Not an abstraction but an organism
First Corinthians 7:10-11
St. Paul
Formerly known as Saul; was a persecutor of the Church until he was converted
Letters are either proto-Pauline, or deutero-Pauline
Corinth
Port City; wrought with poverty and sexual immorality
St. Pauls letters are correctives to their behaviors/heterodoxy (proto-Pauline)
Were expecting expecting the Parousia
Strong imminence of the second coming/end of the world
Messianism - belief in salvation through Gods judgment
Some people believed their faith alone would be enough to save them, so
they behaved immorally
Initially encouraged people to remain unmarried
Marriage was eventually seen as a Remedium concupiscentiae
Marriage is less ideal than celibacy
Didnt make sense to pagans and Jews
St. Paul admits the impracticality of everyone remaining celibate and
sexually continent
Ephesians
Deutero-Pauline
Letters were more symbolic and metaphorical
2nd generation of Christians
Presents marriage as good
Not just as a remedium concupiscentiae
Emphasis on conjugal love, mutual relationship and personal satisfaction
 Marriage as a respectable way to serve God
Men held as heads of households, women as subject to men
Not license for abusing their wives
Luke 16:18
Condemnation of male remarriage after divorce - stigma of adultery
Jesus refused to recognize the second union of a divorced person
Androcentric - the verses only looked at the choices made by the male
Mark 10:2-12
Pharisees questioning Jesus about the Mosaic Law regarding the bill of divorcement
Moses permitted the bill of divorcement due to the hardness of peoples hearts, stubbornness and
defiance of Gods will
No longer androcentric; a wife who frees herself from her husband commits adultery
Matthew 19:3-9
It is unlawful to divorce ones wife for any cause
Forbade divorce in all but a few circumstances
Matthew 5:31-32
Jesus came to perfect the Mosaic law
Sermon on the Mount; Jesus serves as a kind of antirabbi; no longer quoting from old verses
Anyone who divorces a woman makes an adulteress out of her
Means she cannot marry as long as the man who has known her carnally is still alive
Bears a taint made by the decision of her husband; an injustice that Jesus does not tolerate
Jesus condemnation holds except in cases of porneia
Behavior of prostitutes, wanton female promiscuity and intemperate male lust
Largely refers to incest
Does not condemn because these cases are not examples of marriage to begin with; the
prohibition regarding marriage cannot apply
Marital Indissolubility
Latin Church - marriage as a temporal reality; dissolved by death
Eastern Church - eternal reality; not dissolved in death
Strict rules but rules were often broken; problematic
Pastoral Problem of Divorce and Remarriage
Declining importance of marriages
Related to socio-economic conditions and factors
Cohabitation: 4.5% HP > 10; 3.3 million Filipinos
Greater number of civil nullity actions, correlated with higher abandonment and human
trafficking cases
Internal Forum solution

3.6 Marriage (J. Beal)

Early Church
NT understanding of marriage challenged by gnosticism
Belief in a demiurge
Procreation traps souls; therefore is bad
Avoided marriage and procreation
Marriage as a social fact
No involvement of Church and state
Primarily a family matter, until the Council of Trent
Mosaic law - easy to divorce
3 major sins of the time:
Apostasy
 Adultery
Murder
St. Augustine
Formerly a manichaean
One of the most important theologians
Repented of his hedonism (detailed in his Confessions)
Many of his writings were polemic - criticized false ideologies
On the Good of Marriage
Marriage as remedium concupiscentiae
Did not present marriage as evil, but similar to St. Paul, showed it as a
norm, but a lesser ideal to continence
Abuse of marriage doesnt reflect on marriage, but on the abusers
Goods of marriage
Bonum fidei
Fidelity; monogamy
Bonum prolis
Good of children
Bonum sacramenti
Sacrament or permanence
Sacramentality of Christian marriage distinguishes it from other kinds of marriage
Properties of marriage - unitive and indissoluble
Middle Ages
School of Bologna
Represented by Gratian
Consent initiates the marriage, but not fully constituted until it is consummated
For grave causes, marriages that have not yet been consummated can be dissolved
School of Paris
Represented by Peter Lombard
Marriage is constituted solely by consent
Council of Trent
Public ceremony protected against danger of abandonment in clandestine marriages
For Christians, the legality and sacramentality of marriage are inseparable
Began to look at the two ends of marriage as equal; interdependent
Vatican II
Covenant model of marriage over contract
Personalist approach of intimate sharing (communitas) of married life and love
Deplored the plague of divorce
Ends of marriage
Good of the spouses
Often argued to be a good (bonum conjugum) instead of an end
Procreation and education of children
Marriages should be ordered to these ends, but failure to meet these ends does not
affect the validity of the marriage
Distinguished matrimonium in fieri (wedding) vs. matrimonium in facto esse (marriage)
Marriage models
Contract
Focused on legal/juridical approach, e.g. terms and conditions, rights and obligations
Made by and can be ended by mutual consent; negotiable
However Christian marriage has non-negotiable elements
Easy to pinpoint where a contract begins
 Institution
Non-negotiable values
Also keeps the good parts of the contract model
In marriage the nature of the institution (finis operis) is independent from the will or intention
of the spouses (finis operantis)
Problem: changing values regarding marriage
Covenant
Gives more balanced attention to the dimension of marriage
Keeps the good elements of the contractual model
Analogous to Gods relationship with Israel
Hard to pinpoint where a covenant begins
Indissoluble and non-negotiable
Sacrament of Matrimony
Outward sign of inward grace; vehicle by which the love of God is made visible and tangible
Analogous to God and his chosen people
CIC 1056 - essential properties of marriage: unity and indissolubility
Obtain a special firmness; made indissoluble by its sacramentality: extrinsic indissolubility
Vs. intrinsic indissolubility - no human power can dissolve a marriage

3.7 Marriage: Human Reality and Saving Mystery (Schillebeeckx)

Marriage as a social reality
Stability is more dependent on societal pressure than the spouses
Changed in modern times; more free and has less exterior support
You are my wife because I love you. > I love you because you are my wife.
Optimistic view on marriage:
Reason for marriages to last and be founded on what really matters
We get to see marriage as it really is
Not as disturbed by the numbers/stats
Admits children are victims of abandonment; looks into effects of separation

3.8 General Introduction to Churchs Law on Marriage (Dacanay)

Code of Canon Law
Provisions govern the discipline of the sacrament of marriage
Marriage of Catholics (even if only one of the couples is Catholic) is governed not only by divine law
but also by canon law
Marriage requires:
Proper matter
Undetermined requisite
Proper form
Proper intention
Declaration of nullity by a church tribunal
Consent was given by persons who are not legally capable because of the presence of an impediment
Impediment: arising from personal capacity to give consent
Age
Man cannot validly give consent until his 16th year
Woman cannot validly give consent until her 14th year
Impotence
Inability to consummate the marriage (sex)
Must be distinguished from sterility (inability to procreate)
 Previous bond
Arises from any validly contracted marriage, whether sacramental or natural
Even a civilly contracted marriage by those who are not bound to observe the
canonical form would apply
Impediments from crime
Impediments from relationship (relatives)
Consent is defective or completely lacking
Intellectual or cognitive
Based on knowledge or ignorance
The volitive and the freedom
Consent must be posited freely
Consent is invalid when under stress or under influence of force
Psychosomatic
Lack of due discretion
Lack of due competence
The consent was not manifested in a legitimate manner
Valid marriages contracted in the presence of:
Local parish priest
Priest or deacon delegated by either of them
Two witnesses
Contracting parties
Canonical form of marriage
Only applies to roman catholics
Rooted in the desire of the church to protect the parties
Dissolution
Natural marriages
When one of the parties convert to christianity
Pauline privileges
Sacramental marriages
Can be dissolved by the roman pontiff
Special kinds of marriage
Mixed marriage
Marriage with non-catholic christian
May not be contracted without the permission of the local ordinary
Conditions:
the Catholic party must declare that he/she is prepared to remove dangers of falling
away from the faith
sincere promise to do everything to have all the children baptized and brought up in
the Catholic Church
the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time of these promises with the
Catholic party has to make
the other is aware of the obligation and promise of the Catholic party
both parties are to be instructed of the essential ends and properties of marriage
which are not to be excluded by either party
The Catholic is bound to observe the canonical form of marriage
It is forbidden to have another religious celebration of the same marriage to express
or renew matrimonial consent before or after the canonical celebration
Invalid: Catholic party + non-Catholic party in a non-Catholic ceremony without
obtaining first the proper permissions and dispensation
Disparity of cult
 Marriage with non baptized person is allowed if the conditions required in mixed
marriage are fulfilled
The non-catholic is being allowed to contract a non-sacramental marriage

Time Effectivity Remarriage Avai

Declaration of nullity Past Descriptive Yes Civil

Annulment Past Effective Yes Civil

Divorce Present Effective Yes Civil

Separation Present Effective No Civil

3.10 Familiaris Consortio (John Paul II)

AKA The Fellowship of the Family
Marriage as a partnership or consortium
Made after the 1980 synod of Bishops
Familiaris Consortio made in response to the discussions of the Synod
4 parts
Bright Spots and Shadows for the Family Today
Plan of God for Marriage and the Family
Role of the Christian Family
Not good for man to be alone
Humans are social in nature
St. Augustine: marriage and parenthood are the first social bonds
Family is ordered to love between persons
Family finds its origins in love
Fulfills its functions through love
Community of Persons
Help promote the dignity of each person; help each other avoid sin and pursue
proper vocations
Family relations are inauthentic if they dont fulfill these ends
Role of Women
Equality of men and women
Women encouraged to enter professional and public life
Unique role of women as mothers and wives
Women shouldnt have to choose between career and family if possible
Serves life
Generativity > procreation, includes education of offspring
Ends of marriage
Family arent the exclusive educators of children; clergy and professionals
help
Participation in Devt of Society
Family is the first and most basic cell of society
Through their duties, they share in the royal/kingly office of Christ (recall
3-fold office from unit 1)
Sharing in the life and mission of the Church
 Family can be called the domestic church
Shares in prophetic office
Announce the gospel by performing acts of charity and raising
children with Christian values
Priestly office
Family prayer; attending mass
Pastoral Care for the Christian Family

3.11 Law, Gender and Family in the Philippines (M. Feliciano)

Precolonial period
Women had equal rights; high social standing
Can be the barangay chief, babaylan (priestess), name her own children and hold her own
property
Western laws diminished this equal standing
Spanish Regime
Introduction of foreign customs, religion and laws
Numerous restraints on women
Schools for girls, colegios and beaterios
Family laws like the Codigo Civil and Marriage Law
Entered the world of wage labor
Eventually allowed to learn Spanish
Allowed careers in teaching
American Era, Commonwealth
Liberty and egalitarianism
Priority on education; Filipinas became more socially and politically aware
Divorce instituted by Act No. 2710
Extended suffrage for women
Japanese Occupation
Allowed divorce under certain conditions
Ph Republic, 1946-present
Family Code of 1987
Signed by Corazon C. Aquino
Revised law on marriage and family relations in realization of womens fight for equality
Changes in Canon Law concept of void marriages
Requirement of consent for marriage
Widows cant be issued another marriage license until after 300 days since the
spouses death
Foreign marriages of Filipinos are recognized in the Philippines
Provided more grounds for annulment of marriage
More grounds for legal separation
1986 constitution