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Isabella Brown-Quigley
English 102
10 December 2017
I have revised my essay that uses a psychoanalytic lens to identify the true monster
in the novel, Dead until Dark, by Charlaine Harris. My professor recommended that I revise
the support for my thesis, organization, and development in my essay. First, I revised the
context about the character, Rene, to support the quote I inserted. I cleaned up some of the
the original, graded essay. I had to split up the third body paragraph because it was
lengthy. This made my supporting claims more clear and to the point. I had to organize
and move a couple of paragraphs around to flow better. Additionally, I had to make all of
my supporting points relate back to the thesis, which my professor suggested. There were
quite a few paragraphs where I had to rephrase my topic sentences or rearrange my sub-
claims in order to connect it back to my thesis. Throughout the essay, I had to further
explain quotes from academic sources to accurately represent their perspective and