Ortiz 1

Kimberly Ortiz

Professor Batty

English 028

7 November 2017

A Females True Interests

Many parents have beliefs that prevent their daughters from expressing their sexuality.

These beliefs are based on strict parenting, religion, gender and culture. Strict parents tend to

think that by allowing their daughters to express themselves in such a way will lead them to do

worse things in life. They also find it humiliating, especially when done in front of them and

believe their daughters might change from a good personality to a bad one. Parents have certain

religions where they believe expressing ones sexuality is wrong, and goes against everything

they believe in. At times, daughters may be disowned or forced to cleanse themselves from

their sins. Parents with certain gender role and cultural beliefs dont allow women to have

much freedom in terms of their expressions and they arent viewed as the sexual ones. In

addition, women must act a certain way in some countries, whereas men may act however they

please. This is all wrong, I believe women should have the right to express their sexuality no

matter what cultural beliefs stand in their way because women are entitled to believe in what

they want and be whoever they want to be.

In the novel, How the Garcia Girls Lost their Accents, the author, Julia Alvarez writes

about the sexuality expressed by the Garcia girls after they migrated from the Dominican

Republic to the U.S. Throughout the novel, their father, Carlos, continuously calls them whores

because he believes they are not behaving as Dominican women would. Carlos seems to be a

strict father with many cultural beliefs. In the beginning of the novel, he finds love letters that
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belonged to his youngest daughter Sofia. When he found them he went to argue with her and

yelled, Has he deflowered you? Thats what I want to knowAre you dragging my good name

through the dirt (Alvarez 30). He argues that his daughters sexual interactions with men are of

low status and therefore ruining his reputation. In another occasion, he once again was put to

shame by Sofia when he was kissed sexually at his birthday party. The narrator stated, He tore

at his blindfold as if it were a contagious body whose disease he might catchHis face had

darkened with shame at having his pleasure aroused in public by one of his daughters (Alvarez

39). He thought of this act as humiliating and was once again furious at his youngest for pulling

such an act that he described before as a destruction of his image. Sofia is the most experienced

in relationships. She was described by the narrator as very plain, but she was still the one with

the experience and advice about relationships (Alvarez 28). Sofia is also the one that expresses

her female sexuality the most, usually to make her father angry after she met her husband and ran

off with him. The narrator says, The youngest daughter was the first to leave homeThe

woman had not been without a boyfriend for more than a few days of her life (Alvarez 29).

Sofia always had a boyfriend and has always been expressing her sexuality, but her expression is

what helped her find her husband and helped her make her own personality and life. She is the

character that truly represents freedom of sexuality. Her actions also show the reason why such

expressions are important in finding ones self-identity.

Although Sofia is the main representation of such rebellious actions in the eyes of

parents, her sisters express their sexuality as well. Sofias sister, Yolanda, is known to be the

calmest, but she too expresses her sexuality. For example, when her and Sofia were promised

clay by their cousin Mundin to have them take off their pants and panties and promised a human

body doll to keep them shut (Alvarez 235). They were very young when they did this, but every
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sexual act always leads a person to become who they are in the future and for Yolanda, shes the

calm one. Such expression is usually seen as an act that would have a person grow into a

trouble maker, but not in this case. Another example is when Yolanda says, Id had a couple of

lovers. I was on birth controlCatholic or not, I still thought it a sin for a guy to barge in five

years later with a bottle of expensive wine and assume youd drink out of his hand (Alvarez

102-103). Yolanda was dating a lot of guys but knew her limits. Many women can express their

sexuality reasonably and not chaotically to fulfill the expectations of those with beliefs that

prevent their expression, meanwhile, fully understanding their self-identity.

Although many may think female sexuality is shown in extreme expressions, women

shouldnt be prevented of doing so because they need to find their self-identity. My friends

family is Christian, and they wouldnt let my friend dress with clothes that expose even

appropriate body parts. I agree that they are just trying to protect her especially now that people

accuse victims of their own rape because they were showing a bit too much, but sometimes girls

just want to wear what is trending the most at the time. In my psychology class I learned that

missing out on a few popular trends and sharing them with other peers may take effect negatively

in ones life. She was not allowed to date or flirt, and was not allowed to go socialize at any

events or parties. I know her parents were just trying to keep her away from dangerous situations

and keeping her from committing a sin, but this prevention may worsen a daughter and parent

relationship and communication. My family base their beliefs on Guatemalan culture and have

certain gender role expectations. They have certain rules for me when it comes to boys and

relationships. They believe a man should always pay for a date and has the responsibility of

picking me up from my house and bringing me back him himself after and before a date. I get it,

it is polite for the men to be gentle men especially when going out and this thought is a norm to
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them as it was what men did and still do in Guatemala. Also, a woman to them, is not allowed to

do certain things in a relationship before married, if a woman acts before it is considered a sin.

But, how is any woman supposed to know who they truly are if their families prevent them from

finding out? Women would love to pursue our own beliefs and want our families to stop thinking

about certain gender roles. We women, want to be able to find our true and own perspectives of

the world and our lives.

Sexuality is a big part in finding ones identity and that sexual behavior is linked to

parenting. In the article, Communication, Sexuality, Defamiliarization, the author describes the

reasons that communication is involved with the prevention of finding ones self-identity.

According to this article, sexuality helps with the learning of future life and preventing

expression of sexuality, also prevents the learning of that person. The article states, The work

that draws me returns again and again to the question of sexual practice in context (including the

practice of the definition) (Henderson 2479). Henderson believes that many dont truly

understand the definition of sexuality, and when one finally defines it correctly, one can

understand the importance of the practice. Throughout the article, Henderson repeats the idea of

being or becoming queer by understanding a ones sexuality and by communicating. In the

article, The Structural Influences of Family and Parenting on Young Peoples Sexual and

Reproductive Health in Rural Northern Tanzania, the authors conclude research done on a

family, and give detail, and reasons on why people should express their sexuality and what the

expression helps with. They found that sexuality expression helps with ones self-confidence and

that ones sexual drive changes with parenting. They say, For example, in Uganda, young

people reported that they were sexually active when their parents were away or when they were

staying with other relatives (Twa-Twa 1997) (Wamoyi, Wight, Remes 720). According to their
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research, sexual drives change with the presence of authority, because they are afraid of getting

caught of such expressions and judged by that authoritys and their beliefs. They also found that,

Both parents and young people talked about fathers as having a strong economic interest in their

daughters sexual relationships since they would eventually receive bridewealth or fines for

elopement or pregnancy (Wamoyi, Wight, Remes 729). This represents gender roles where men

gain from the womens sexual practice. This role may encourage a father to decide for his

daughter who she should marry when really, women should decide everything for themselves,

especially when choosing the person they will spend the rest of their lives with.

At the end, many people may still believe some female sexuality expressions are

intolerable or too extreme, but I believe women shouldnt be prevented from expressing

themselves. Women should be entitled to declare their own cultural beliefs, and follow them as

they wish to. Expression of female sexuality is important because it opens ones eyes of what

they like and who they truly are. Women should be able to find themselves and view the world

as they please and freedom of expression allows this to be possible for women. Overall, women

should be free to choose anything and express themselves as they wish. To be themselves,

because women are and should be independent!

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Works Cited

Henderson, Lisa. "Communication, Sexuality, Defamiliarization." International Journal of

Communication (Online), 2013, p. 2468-2479. EBSCOhost,

library.lavc.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=edsgao&AN=

edsgcl.352494269&site=eds-live.

Wamoyi, Joyce, et al. "The Structural Influence of Family and Parenting on Young People's

Sexual

and Reproductive Health in Rural Northern Tanzania." Culture, Health & Sexuality, vol. 17, no.

6, June 2015, pp. 718-732. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/13691058.2014.992044.

Alvarez, Julia. How the Garca Girls Lost Their Accents. Chapel Hill, N.C. : Algonquin Books

of Chapel Hill, 2010.