Entry 1: First Meditation

Today we were introduced to meditation, followed by a twelve minute meditation period.

I brought a foam roller, which did not provide sufficient height for my hips. I experienced
discomfort in my hips and knees throughout the session, which was very distracting. Next week
I will bring a better prop that will elevate my hips enough for me to sit comfortably.

I also felt pressure to meditate, or relax, similar to when I have insomnia and try to force
sleep (which never goes well). I think meditation is somewhat like sleep in that you prepare your
environment and body for sleep; but if you think too much about wanting to go to sleep, you
never will. The same is true of meditation: if you put pressure on yourself to leave the beta
rhythm of brain activity (when you are conscious and alert), you will never reach the theta
rhythym (the brain waves you experience just before sleep). Towards the end of the twelve
minutes I did feel myself start to soften. Focusing on my breath was helpful, which is good
because this exercise is the key to beginning meditation.

Entry 2: Second Meditation Class

I changed my prop; this time I used a large picnic blanket, which I folded and rolled to
the appropriate height. This raised my hips further off the ground, making it easier to sit with my
legs folded. It was much more comfortable than the four inch foam roller prop from last week.
We practiced meditation for a few minutes longer than the week prior; I am pleased to say the
experience was much better. I did experience some tightening in my neck and some back
discomfort, but no hip or leg pain.

Our discussion in class was on mindfulness. It was very informative and really
emphasized the benefits of purposeful observation of our thoughts in meditation. I have heard of
the concept of mindfulness, but did not understand the mechanism of it prior to class today. To
be fully present, to be an observer of ourselves (our thought processes), has the potential to free
us of the burden of our problems/issues that we are stuck in. We essentially can extract
ourselves from the situation and switch roles, being just an observer. This not only gives us the
advantage of seeing our situation more objectively, but has been shown to aid in unlocking and
solving many mental struggles. Recogonizing negative thought patterns and "nipping them
in the bud" will prevent us from sliding into depression and help keep negative emotions from
sticking around and taking root. This gem of a concept was the take-away for me for this class; I
hope to implement this new understanding of mindfulness.

Entry 3: Stretching Techniques

This evening's class was mostly filled with learning stretching techniques. I knew many
of the stretches and yoga-inspired poses, but it was benefical to learn about the muscles and areas
of the body that the stretches loosen, open up, or warms up. "Opening your pelvis" ( your sit-
bones) was a new golden nugget that I will use in my practice--it really enhanced the stretches
and released tension.

We performed two meditation sessions--one prior to stretching and a longer one after
stretching. Amazingly, the second session seemed much shorter! Stretching is a wonderful tool
for releasing tension caused by stress, exercise, and our daily routine.

During the initial session, my back below my scapulae started to feel tight. This did not
resolve after stretching; I still felt tension and discomfort in the second meditative session.
However, the instructor relayed some helpful information about strengthening the rhomboid
muscles and stretching the shoulders throughout the day. She indicated that this condition is
almost certainly caused by slumping over at the computer for long hours (which is exactly what I
find myself doing after long hours working on the computer and doing schoolwork ).

Entry 4: Sitting and Stretching Techniques

We continued our discussion on the benefits of stretching before Meditation. Tonight we
learned and practiced stretches that we can do while sitting or lying supine. Again, it was helpful
to apply yoga poses and stretches to preparing our bodies and mind to meditate.

'Child's Pose' is a very good pose that provides many benefits. This pose really helps
stretch your lower back and release tension in the lumbosacral region, especially in "Extended
Child's pose" (with your arms stretched in front of you). By lowering your head below your
heart, even resting it on the floor in front of your knees, you lower your blood pressure and
heartrate. Another benefit is that it warms your body through breathing--a great thing to do prior
to your meditation practice.

Entry 5: Guided Meditation

I had little to no expectations regarding guided meditation. I suppose I envisioned sitting
or lying in meditation while being prompted or led through a pleasant scene or calming
environment. The guided meditation that we experienced tonight as a class was much more
deep, soul-searching, and emotional. Prior to the meditation it was revealed to us that we would
be guided through attending, or observing, our own funeral! Judging by the faces of my
classmates, I think this was somewhat of a shock to most students in the class. However, I
decided to be open-minded and explore my curiosity.

Our guided meditation began with us envisioning ourselves in a room. After orienting
ourselves to the room, we exit through an open door and travel on a path. Traversing a valley,
eventually we approach a building. This building had a crowd gathered outside; some of these
people we recognize as close family members and friends. We then follow the crowd inside the
building to realize that we are at our own funeral. After the meditation we shared what our
building looked like--mine was a beautiful chapel/event center with lots of glass (the towering
foyer was entirely glass looking out on the valley and mountains) and wood in a modern
architecture design. I saw the open casket and approach it. For this part, I had a hard time
visualizing myself as an aged man, but had a desire to formulate an image of me older than I am
now. I looked peaceful lying there in the casket. I was not really disturbed by this experience, as
the whole occasion had a calm, quiet, peaceful feel. The mood in the room is solemn, but
soothing.

Next we are prompted to draw our attention to the attendees. We see loved ones we are
close to, as well as someone whom we do not expect to be present. This prompt was somewhat
of a curve ball, but conjures up feelings of forgiveness, acceptance, and true love. We think
about those present and what is said of us in remembrance. This reminds me of a Bible proverb
that states that it is better to be at the 'House of Mourning' that to attend a festive feast--thus
highlighting the benefits of contemplating life and evaluating our priorities. Afterward, we are
taken back to the room in which we began, then are encouraged to come to present
consciousness.

The guided meditation was certainly a noteworthy experience. For many days following,
I found myself calling to mind the imagery and feelings that this meditation brought with it. I
think guided meditation is an excellent tool to help you focus with purpose and relax at the same
time.

Entry 6: Intro to Metta

Tonight we were introduced to Metta, also known as 'Loving-kindness meditation'. I
really liked this concept! The progression of advocating well-wishes (happiness, safety, peace,
freedom from greed, hatred, and ignorance) to yourself, then to others, was intriguing. I believe
these intentions are powerful--they evoke feelings of loving-kindness, which have a positive
impact on our mental outlook. Moreover, they can help us experience freedom from our current
issues that confound us and cause us to lose mindfulness.

It is also very logical and powerful to realize that metta asks us to establish loving-
kindness in ourselves prior to extending it to others. In this way, we are able to radiate loving-
kindness from our being. It seems easy to extend metta to those we hold dear, but to go beyond
that and extend it to people that we do not necessarily like, even an enemy, takes mindfulness
and effort. I think this is invaluable though--holding feelings of ill-will and resentment are very
corrosive, but metta can turn those feelings around, giving us more peace.

Extending metta to a neutral party, someone we may see in our lives but not know
personally, is fascinating. That person will probably never know that they are in our thoughts
and intentions, but could they be impacted by our directing loving-kindness meditation to them?
Contemplating our own power for positive change is intriguing indeed!
Entry 7: Float Pod experience
I recently heard of float pods for the first time. I was going to Jackson, Wyoming with
my family and my manager at work said that her best friend ran a float spa in Jackson. Since
taking this class on meditation, I was very interested in the float pods and did some research into
them and their benefits.

It is also referred to as deprivation therapy, for whilst floating in the pod you are in
silence and darkness. The water is supersaturated with epsom salt (causing bouyancy five times
greater than the Dead Sea) and heated to body temperature. The experience is likened to being in
the womb; it also is as close to the feeling of weightlessness that you can get. I was very
intrigued by the possibility of the float pods being an effective means of bringing your
brainwaves to a theta state. It is touted as being good for depression, stimulating creativity, and
mindfulness.

I did not seek out the float spa in Jackson, but eventually did one at the Shops at the
Riverwoods in Provo. It was a one hour float session. The facility was new and beautiful. After
watching an instructional video, I was taking to my private float pod, showered, and entered the
pod. As I am "tightly wound," it was no surprise to me that it took some time and meditation to
fully relax, but the last 15 minutes of the session was the experience I was after (caught between
consciousness and sleep, completely relaxed). I loved the weightless feeling. I feel like, if
practiced regulary, float pods would be a wonderfully effective meditation tool.

Entry 8: Guided Meditation Recording

This week I practiced guided Metta via an audio recording. This was performed while
laying flat on a yoga mat. The first 5 minutes consisted of clearing my thoughts, relaxing, and
focusing on my breath. Then the speaker began the progression of extending loving-kindess
towards myself first, followed by a mentor/benefactor, a close friend, a nuetral person, a difficult
person, and finally to all living things. For each, I repeated my intention to be free from all greed
and hatred, suffering, and to be happy. Afterwards, I just allowed myself to meditate for
approximately ten minutes in a relaxed state.

I really connected with this form of meditation. I was moved by the feelings of
benevolence that metta invokes. Despite extending metta to myself first, I find that metta really
cultivates altruism and peace--who doesn't benefit from more of those! I also feel like this form
of meditation effectively delivers me to a place of relaxation better than other forms.

Entry 9: Mantras
 This week in class we discussed the use and significance of mantras in meditation. This
was definitely new territory for me. I was aware of the mantra "om" being used in meditation,
but that is the very limited extent of my knowledge on the subject.

Bija (seed) mantras are much more than verbal tool of meditation. They are tied to a
complex belief system and ideology regarding energy and our ability to invoke powerful
changes. Each mantra is linked with a god or goddess that embodies varying traits or abilities.
Although mantras are an integral part of Buddhist and Hindu religions, the study and effects of
mantra are used by millions of diverse backgrounds.

Mantras create both physical and spiritual energy. This can be said due to the physical
effect of the vibration and the "thought-energy" produced from repeating mantras. Therefore,
mantras are considered powerful tools. In fact, the information on bija mantras included a
warning to use the mantra "krim" with caution, suggesting that we could unleash more life-
changing energy, understanding, or truth than we are prepared to deal with.

My personal practice with mantras is somewhat underwhelming. Perhaps I just need

more practice. I do, however, really believe in the physical/emotional connection to the
vibrations (energy) that we create with our voice. Studies have shown how singing is so
beneficial to our bodies--both mentally and physically; so I have no doubt that mantras can be a
powerful and effective tool in meditation.

Entry 10: Walking Meditation

Tonight in class we learned about the benefits and practice of walking meditation. One
bit of information that I found useful was the instruction in how to walk--often we forget to use
our full foot when walking (rolling from heal to toe). To performed the walking meditation as a
group in the classroom. We spread out in a circle along the periphery of the room, relaxed for a
moment, then turned and walked in unison as we were guided by the instructor. I struggled to
relax and was not able to really focus on the meditation part of the exercise. With practice I
think everyone improved, but it was not as easy as I had envisioned.

I suppose I pictured 'walking meditation' as being on a beautiful trail, experiencing a

feeling of peace and tranquility, only hearing my breath and the sounds of nature. I love hiking
and feel like I do experience meditation-like benefits from my hikes, so I was a little
disappointed to not experience those benefits during this in-class practice. I really want to
incorporate the techniques we learned into a solo nature walk or wilderness hike.

Entry 11: Chakras

Our class presentation tonight was on Chakras. Each of the seven core Chakras were
discussed. This is a concept that interests me, but is somewhat hard to wrap my head around.
Perhaps it is because I compare the ideas presented against my conservative Christian
background, thinking that the Chakra-beliefs are religious-based. However, it is more likely that
I just struggle to understand, or believe, spiritual concepts related to our bodies. Chakras have a
very real physical component, but deal heavily with unseen energy forces.

It was presented that we are dynamic beings, full of energy and movement. Our brain
and nervous system are very complex and form a super-highway of electrical and chemical
impulses. It is logical to grasp that this energy could be affected by our experience, the way we
deal with problems, adversity, stress, and sorrow. As a culture we often speak about "bottling it
up inside" or internalizing experiences/emotions. It would be logical that by doing these things
we could inhibit, or block, the flow of energy through our chakras. Imbalance has been shown to
lead to internal unrest, mental illness, and other diseases (such as cancer, gastric ulcers, etc..).

I want to cultivate an open mind and explore my curiosity regarding Chakra meditation
and development. I have not had time to devote much of my meditation practice to this, but I
have save the artice on Chakras and will revisit this.

Entry 12: Live Now

Living in the present definitely goes against much of our Western Socialization. We
have been taught to be goal-oriented, forward thinking, and driven to seek future stabilility and
success. Believing that fullfillment awaits us in an illusionary future sets us up for
disappointment and prevents us from the experience of now. "Living now" means that we do not
exist in time, but exist in self.

How would I feel if this was it? What if all of my planning, dreaming, and hoping has
ended and this is how it all turned out? If this moments was all there is, would I be content,
happy, fulfilled? These are good questions to ponder! Personally, I feel like I need to be more
mindful to seize the moment, to not worry so much about the future--I do believe we have all we
need to be fulfilled, balanced, and at peace now.

Entry 13: Mountain Meditation

This fall I was able to practice a "mountain meditation" in the mountains. It was one of
my favorit meditation sessions to date! I have a special place in my heart for the mountain and
canyons near my hometown. The mountains of the Wasatch Plateau are beautiful and inspiring
year-round. I also have an emotional connection, as my family has many fond memories of
hikes and adventures in these mountains.

One of our favorite hikes is to walk down Lake Canyon. Near the bottom of the canyon
are enormous boulders and rock formations that stand out from their aspen forest surroundings.
We often stop, climb to to the top and spend time looking at the canyon's beauty. A tradition
was started in the fall to bring fresh-baked apple pie and tea or coffee to enjoy on these massive
monolithic boulders. This time, however, there were only two of us and no apple pie. We
climbed atop and relaxed in the afternoon sun. I assumed my meditation position and proceeded
with the 'mountain meditation.' I really felt connected with the earth, grounded and balanced. I
heard a hawk cry in the distance and just lingered in peaceful meditation. I look forward to
doing it again next year.

Entry 14: How to Create Change

Change happens when something is added or taken away from our life (be it a person,
thing, environment or mental outlook). Change also can be effected if an individual starts to be
true to themself, instead of what others expect them to be.

Meditation expands our awareness of self--who we are beneath our experiences. We also
can be mindful of how our experiences has shaped us as individuals. We need to honestly
examine whether we allow fears, or the expectations of others, to keep us from change or stimy
our progress to being all we can be. Continued growth occurs when we remove such stumbling
blocks and be true to ourselves. We also have to realize that we can achieve change ourselves,
but we cannot change someone else.

For much of my life I was a "people-pleaser." I was afraid of disappointing others to the
extent that I held back from experiencing life and what it felt like to be true to yourself. I can
attest to the immobilizing effect of allowing others to project their beliefs and expectations upon
me. My path to self-discovery was a little late coming compare to most people, but thankfully I
made the decision to be true to myself (it has made me feel more alive).