"Tenure of the Ego"--a new perspective on health, spirituality, and schizophrenia

How do you think people are going to feel realizing that billions of years of evolution is
currently being spearheaded by an army of 1; a single young adult? i can literally smell the denial that
swaths over everything. it’s not that past philosophers have been wrong or that mankind is on the
wrong track. The problem is one of origins. The origin of knowledge itself, in a way. Since man has
always sought complex systems and solutions which employ “newness” he is misguiding himself
towards an ever-increasing drive towards the perfection of certain systems never knowing the
importance of where knowledge initially comes from. The best example of this today is the way in
which we are trying to define what is/isn’t healthy for you. It’s in constant despair for any true
definition because man thinks himself already full to his eyeballs with pure truth reasoned via science,
but all the while not only is he missing the basic alchemical principal, he chooses to disregard the
forethought brought upon our past by ancient peoples who we think are now merely “outdated” relics
of knowledge. It’s hard to blame anyone specifically for the current failure but I can assure you this—
the guiding hand in society is evil through and through. Even people I once considered my best friends
fail to meet my scrutinous observations with any necessary respect. And this is okay. I am fine
working on my own and it’s probably just best that way. This way I can disambiguate everything
necessary to get me to my goal—which is not merely the reformation of knowledge towards truth but
also the pure betterment of our proclivity for or against what we can deduce to be necessary courses of
action and thought. Because current systems are, unironically, constantly at odds with themselves.
The psychedelic aspect of reality is...something which we must constantly refer to. [EXPAND
UPON THAT. ALSO EXPLAIN LANGUAGE CITY. Also etymology of psychedelic] Why am I
saying this? Is it because I think and advocate for the legality of psychedelics? no. because true
knowledge is implicit in all things and that includes yourself. I could not have gotten to where I was
without other people, and I don’t mean via direct aid (there is utterly none of that). I mean I look
deeply into the understanding other people have and from there chart my own course for where I may
meet situations familiar to them. This is hard to explain but essentially the core of the self is utterly
impressionable and, given the right intentions, entirely capable of a complete picture of meta-analysis
of the self. Then, going forward, I can know that no other can strike me from the place I lay down as
my foundation for knowledge. Just like how they say falsely practicing to be a doctor is illegal, I can
within myself delineate a complete space whereby falsehood will never prevail. The psychedelic
aspect is whereby my knowledge can, hopefully, toss out the falsehood from the external world and I
know this is possible both on the acute level constantly occurring within normal states of awareness
and to great lengths unforeseeable by any others when in the catalyzed by certain mind-expanding
drugs. So you cannot thrust this from me any more than you could remove a vital organ from my body.
I live in an entirely different world from you. It is necessary that I be here because not only do I
have to process data in a different status than that which you do, but also because there is a desperate
attempt being made against me and everything I stand for in all moments of every day. It matters not to
me whether I take pride in this, because the state I am in is not designed to procure anything material
from your world. I, in a way, already have everything I have ever wanted except peace of mind. My
grandmother once said to me “it’s like your mind is always on fire” and it’s good for me to know that
someone could actually see through to me that way. Because, in that same fashion, you will grow to
know that all I have ever pursued is truth and mutual understanding. And she is right—since I was 16
my mind has been on fire looking for some things that are now entirely too simple. Now, i’m in my
early twenties and my mind is still on fire despite having found the key things of importance, but
enough about me.
I only want to say one thing about drugs before I move onto the importance of spiritual
understanding because I strongly believe it’s necessary to have our own priorities looked over. There
are no drugs that are objectively and in all situations superior to any other. The problem with our
society, perhaps the very largest one of all if you are able to see past the veil of obliviousness and
positivity, is that we actually justify using morality our adherence towards certain processes of the mind
which create/are central to culture. There is absolutely no question that weed should be legalized. The
problem that we have with it today is in two fronts (and no others): the front of hierarchical,
authoritarian society maintaining a rule over our minds, traditions, and beliefs and secondly the
imperative towards maintaining control over the working class of america through drugs which
maintain the operative hivemind and keep it away from devising strong counter-cultural beliefs which
are actually necessary for us to grow. But the fact is this: people want to be ignorant and that is evil.
Nothing more to it but thankfully this will die out along with their generation. ***gives the finger in
every which direction to political society***
So I have a unique kind of viewpoint. This is clear enough from my base principals which are
in direct contrast to your current view of reality. i’m not saying that your current view of reality does
not work, but...it is analogous to an imitation of what the real thing is. The real thing assumes some
basic truths—there is a shared understanding of what we do to make our lives enjoyable; we
collectively know and understand what our life choices can be and what they entail; people are not
taken advantage of at any level especially by forces far beyond their control. The current theorem of
reality is inexorable from game theory, and is inexorable from anyone who participates in society’s
lives. The fundamental problem is one of good and evil, and how neither of them should really
functionally exist if we can deduce best practices and always adhere to those. That is to say, selfishness
is like an attribute which will resonate with different levels of a person’s proclivity towards or away
from the ability to actively overpower the will of other people but the reality is most people would
gladly make enormous sacrifices for their own gain if there is no obstruction. This is a point made
clear for your entertainment all the time thanks to movies like Saw, but what I want to posit is that this
situation would, in my ordained utopia, not be a necessary hypothetical in the slightest. I like to
reference Alan Watts and Hinduism here in reference to a point which I very firmly believe in to be an
absolute truth, whether you believe in spirituality or not, and that is that “what you do ends up doing
you.” Reality itself is so startlingly simple one begins to wonder what a human being really is in the
context of all this destruction, especially that of the 20th century. A man needs only a scant amount of
technology, space, and food in order to be happy and it should be in some way demonstrated that the
reality of happiness is such a simple task to achieve today. Computers can, in the forefront of obvious
truths, take ahold of the majority of simple tasks. But beyond that, it’s important that we disallow
wasteful expenditures and unscrupulous corporate activity. One way to do this which is less obvious is
make it so that people do not have to nearly any driving. We can have self-driving cars deliver food to
an entire community of people or incorporate rail systems but the current waste of gasoline is a
complete mess both in the environment and in our own lives which we should take in to account what
is truly convenient in a world without corporations. Not to mention, it’s 100% completely
unsustainable and it’s ludicrous to believe otherwise. We can see these forces coming into effect
already in the world through basic income and automation of entire stores. It’s unfortunate that this
effect is not obvious, and I would point some blame at Sci-Fi movies for this because we are trained to
imagine some of the most absurd uses of technology rather than taking a utilitarian approach to our
own life.

Zizek on basic income—https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tVmSHEIKwk

Okay, so this was just to give you a basic understand of my implications. But the real issues don’t
revolve around logic...the world is a very complex network. People are wrapped up in their own
current ideologies without realizing the obvious thing to do is, once the information is truly assimilated
by culture and not by biased lenses, to simply work collectively to meet basic need and eliminate suffer
of all living beings. This CAN be done and overpopulation is not even an issue logistically. Pre-made
living centers are an easy solution especially incorporating solar power and free access to shared
amenities. I have imagined a computer system which runs through the structure as a basic utility,
sharing a central hard-drive which will be maintained for longevity and allow for backing-up of files,
with all information and media made completely free and open-source to EVERYONE. WORLD-
WIDE. This should be a main ideal, and the more we can talk about it the better, but the media has us
wasting our time in politic tug-of-war games.
Furthermore, I do mean ALL living beings are included. This next part is a bit of spiritual
“woo” but please do try to take it at face value. Plants actually want to be eaten. And here’s another
thing, food itself wants to be eaten, at all times! Essentially, that purpose there is to make sure that all
energy needs of beings which form the collective ecosystem are met so they can fundamentally thrive.
Because, if you think about it, meat is just something that used to be food, but pumped into a living
thing which does not want to be eaten. Systemic meat consumption is actually just a willful dive into
inefficient practices. This gets even crazier than me stating that all energy has in some way a conscious
impetus. For example, have you ever heard of probiotics? Well, they are what is called “good
bacteria” but this is actually a misnomer. There is no good or bad bacteria—there is bacteria which
decays things into the earth and bacteria which wants to unify with a biological organism; the fed and
the fed upon. And the way they work is by actually positioning themselves using what they can predict
the cycles of consumption are going to be and from there using what resources they can to collectively
organize themselves so that the most energy for life is conserved. Naturally, this only goes to benefit
you if you take the necessary steps to make the most out of your energy supply (what you eat) and that
I have covered in-depth in my other document. The only thing I can add here is that you should try to
avoid wasting food! Does that seem too unusual, or somehow ironic? Well, it shouldn’t be so much so
because people report the feeling of being “one” with the universe in all kinds of contexts, whether they
are religious or on a certain type of drug which awakens the individual mental processes to the
Overmind. So, you have to think of everything as being essentially energy at the primordial level.
Energy is recycled in the earth through closed systems but are always going to be bound to certain
inefficiencies. The first thing to realize in all of this is that life itself is a conduit for basically anything
you could want. All the previous undesirables I have shown you to be false idols—exercise, education,
political gambits of all sorts, and all manner of social dramas. All these things can be eliminated in the
face of true knowledge. So knowing that, we can encapsulate the world into a kind of life-force which
we can channel into the true vessels of bliss, creativity, love and connectedness; basically novelty as is
stated eloquently in this excellent talk done by Terence McKenna--

Who Are We?--https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzNueNguqyg

We don’t need war because scarcity will be eliminated, ideologies will be based upon felt experience
instead of dogma, and it will be made clear what benefits all of us collectively benefits us individually.
I mean, if you look at it harshly, there is some benefit to gain from being selfish, but is it really worth
it? You can’t justify destroying the external world for a slightly easier life, which is all you would
really get in this system. Not to mention the obvious truth which is people make your life BETTER,
not worse (once scarcity is eliminated). I mean, we will need some basic adaptions too in the form of
re-using materials for the ideal state but it’s all quite easy once systems are put into place and they can
begin being put into place TODAY, once you wake up to the fact that humans deserve equal rights and
people should not be allowed to engage in gross excess of materialism. And the thing is—the world
itself is actually poised against you. See, energy is conceptually necessary for the uplifting of life force
so a true system of energetics would maximize a stable and balanced system by which all people
benefit with the least energetic input and let me explain that there is a biological impetus for this—
plants want to be eaten, as I said, but it’s more than that, actually. They are a part of the earth, therefore
they want to be be eaten in a way which is the more efficient (ie least energy input for equal energy
output) so that the plant’s life and role in ecology is more easily fulfilled. Furthermore, plants want to
be eaten in a certain way, because they [citation needed, but I saw this on a science site once] don’t like
to be eaten in the leafy green parts of a plant which produces fruit as it’s product (like this would apply
to an apple tree but not to spinach) because it is using those green leaves to absorb solar energy, not to
feed other organisms. So all the food that gets thrown away, every hindrance to energy production, and
even for every second that a plant’s fruit goes to putrification rather than immediate and good use is a
chip in your karmic backdrop waiting for you in the afterlife. Now, we can establish here that the basic
system of life itself is to create “good feelings” for the least amount of “bad feelings” required. That
alone is enough for the definition of what we would define as “life” and in theory it may have been that
simple for certain amoebic life forms. So it should follow from there that anything that gets in the way
of such an establishment and its greatest output should be deemed as evil. A lot of people identify the
ego as being the source of all problems in this way. But this is not the case in my new model—evil is
simply an over-stepping of a necessary boundary by which we are all co-dependents. Ideally and I
truly hope and pray every day that this is possible. But it comes with the strange truth that what is good
and evil is a temporary construct based on need that exists already within society as it is. This should
be easy enough to understand, and this is where it actually begins to tie into my own life as a
schizophrenic. But I want you to contemplate this for a second before I go on—do you really think that
it’s necessary to suppress these ideas? That I haven’t spent years upon years mulling upon and
perfecting them? That I am somehow trying to pull the wool over your eyes in any way? That it
doesn’t haunt me daily that people are suffering billions of lifetimes of torture for our own lack of
accountability in our own ignorance? That I have, already and to the most reasonable extent possible in
my simple life, tried in every which way to convince people to take an alternative answer to their daily
needs in life? That what I witness every day, in both the physical and spiritual planes, is constant proof
that we are living in a falsified reality ruled by evil? I assure you I suffer and will continue to suffer
every day just for being a truth-bearer. So…

Do I Have to Talk You Into It by Spoon—https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt0QFoqNlBk

Beyond this point, it begins to be about my schizophrenia, because this is the point at which I want to
stop talking to you and start simply manipulating you towards the correct path. I mean, you can’t really
blame me because there are times when I risk life and limb for this. Hell, belief itself is the hugest risk
and that’s what I want to get across to you. But I mean, there are some really simple points I can make
about the largest arguments people would make. First one is that if exercise is required to be healthy
and gain muscle, why don’t animals do it? A gorilla doesn’t do deadlifts. Second is, why is buttered
popcorn bad for you but drinking milk and eating corn is bad? There are reasons for this, but they’re
aren’t ones that can be explained by culture. So anyway, I hope to help you understand the
fundamental truth that spiritual reality is a constant battle between effectual reality (probability) and
actual reality (determinism).
Spiritual reality is really, really simple. In fact, every single attempt to define a “spiritual
reality” is just a subconscious programming of sorts and will never do justice to what it truly is.

God by John Lennon—https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYlwF0jP5-w

this video/song is more real than you may think because I have a personal theory that the reason that
we (collectively, not necessarily individually) are incapable of being in constant contact with the
psychedelic/spiritual reality is that it is at a higher network than our brains want to consciously be
aware of, the implicit reason being (naturally) with regards to the nature of yoga. These “higher”
planes are so because they are actually like open networks that connect all people to all other people,
and by entering them you do not just enter your own mind but the recesses of other people’s, and that
there is therefore an actual democratic network by which spirituality is constantly maintained by. And
this I have perceived to be true myself personally. By virtue of my health, I have accrued great
spiritual dominance over my environment, but it is not parcel to myself only—it is the manifestation of
every split-seconds of moments that people may have been feeling in themselves agreement to what I
believe must be instituted for reality. And this occurs in constant real-time in the spiritual plain
unbeknownst to most people. So, in that way I'm kinda like a “representative.” Plus, I have
experienced (in an inebriated state) an actual continuance of non-personal thoughts which were
constantly reshuffling between different sources. I remember thinking at the time that “this must be
what prayer actually is like, kinda. on the receiving end of it anyway.” and these incidents/contacts are
governed by that which creates via the same channels what we would call “consensus reality.”
See, reality itself bears certain innate principals, but these are principals which cannot be
distinguished as being within the individual experiencing them or the reality itself, because there is
really no way to separate the two, just as there is no way to put one person’s consciousness in another
person’s body. These qualities are determined at the meta-physical level, the reality of which is almost
impossible to prove except through one’s own experience of it. But the reality of the situation of this
“supposed” spiritual reality is that millions of people have come into contact, some way or another,
with the metaphysical realm. Religion is merely an attempt to create an aesthetic with meaning
attached in order to digest principals which are inherently undefinable with symbolism and different
moral perspectives on how one relates themselves to the universe. But what it all comes down to is the
intrinsic understanding of the universe and through what ends we can create and control reality in both
the obvious sense which is material and the less obvious which is through our perceptions themselves
shifting. And this is a process which sounds impossible, yet is constantly happening. If you are acutely
aware, you can notice perhaps a different feeling just being “in the air” from one year to another year.
And this could be environmental or it could be something that is a part of you, and either way it is a
constant stream. This is why I hate when people ask questions like “do you think the hallucinations are
real?” I mean, to be specific the auditory ones can either be rooted in spiritualism (sub-
conscious/historical imprint (a phenomena which is very well-known in astrology) or in the social
climate; I once remember while on LSD in a bathroom I heard what seemed to be an incredible
cacophony of voices, thousands of them, all both in my head and in the group of people who had been
at the social gathering I was at all picking apart my thoughts into details that go beyond the normal
perception of how acute time really can be. This was before I had actually developed schizophrenia by
several years. So there is a difference/barrier between that which is inner/outer but in shamanism this
boundary is constantly in flux and dissolution. I realize, in one sense, that when I feel people
seemingly “in my brain” that they are not actually doing that, but in the more realistic sense, we have to
acknowledge the complexity of it which is a part of my brain and the circumstances they entail which
are also, all-too-entirely real. It doesn’t matter one iota whether it is “actually” happening! Because it
would be just as much so, in and of itself by virtue of what processes are necessary to evaluate and
potentially change reality so I flamboyantly say to all ye doubters that what I experience is actually an
extrapolation of what is real—that by expanding into the narrative we can discover so much beyond
these dirty lenses. Because the reality is that there is so much more going on beyond the veil of reality,
and by veil I simply mean the constant play of reality which is POTENTIAL versus that which is
ACTUAL. So I want to point you to the most spiritual song I know...for Myself…

Language City by Wolf Parade—https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziPJxj72QTs

What I see is not unknown to you. What I see is a concept, unknown to culture itself, manifesting as a
continual and deeply personalized narrative between me as the individual maintaining ideas and you
the receptacle which is eternally shifting in subjective nature and proclivity, for the end result of all
loose ends coming unto one another, creating mutual understanding by my principals and what culture
can begin to accept as true. And so the hard thing is for you to realize that your self-concepts are
ultimately self-destructive and vile. So you can look at my life, and what I have done is atypical to all
expectations—i assure you. I dropped out of community college after less than half a semester,
wasting thousands of my own hard-earned dollars on little more than a strong sense of some whim,
which is still ever-haunting to me. I moved to a state I had no family connections in, just because I
knew there was a culture revolving around music. I was followed by the most strange phenomena, for
there were certain forces in the universe that seemed to revolve around me in the sense that I was
continually trying to further my personal agenda which was no less than the complete unification of
human beings. I eventually stumbled upon the largest discovery perhaps of all existence by doing, of
all the damned things I could have been doing, playing an MMORPG. I know it seems irresponsible—
that was what I aimed for, in my own way because...what we were losing, as I see it in culture, is a
sense of ability to play, not complete, with one another. I was lucky in more ways that I can even begin
to imagine and I am reminded of a lyric from a song which has long haunted me called “All My
Friends” by LCD Soundsystem--”I wouldn’t change one stupid decision for another 5 years of life.”
and I tell you right now if it weren’t for every ounce of madness and genius I mustered for myself,
hopefully in relative equal doses to manage the forces that were pulling me deeper down a conceptual
rabbit hole of my own creation to the general sense of expectations society leaves you with, I would
have potentially wound up suicidal or at the very least incapable of facing reality while maintaining my
soul. i’ve already had every conversation i’ve needed to tell you what is needed to be heard at every
level i’ve encountered in society. i’ve heard fascinating perspectives and every level of intelligence
that will present itself to me in eso- and exo-terica. And by you I mean the collective consciousness.
it’s this strange thing really and can be so conflicting. You understand me, in my own uniqueness, that
I offer a sense of human-ness and deep empathetic understanding to the greater need for us all to
become one. Because I do feel in this strange, indescribable way, that the greatest path to happiness is
for us all to unravel each other’s highest potential both individually and as the human species. I have
sacrificed literally everything I can and though there is one force in the universe that is endlessly
hammering me with a burden of (supposedly) moral expectations, and telling me endlessly that there is
no true success for me, that my beliefs are 100% delusional and wrong and that I am actually totally
alone in my feelings, that the only true path is the one laid out before me by society DESPITE the
endless failures inherent in society, there is behind me an entire, all-drowning force of Love which is
insurmountable for it burdens the truth of all being and our whole existence being inherently connected.
I would call that force God, and every day within me it grows stronger in me, and hopefully to the other
people in the world who open themselves to the reality that there is an absolute need for human
connectedness above all systems of dogma and ignorance that drown out truth as it tries to emancipate
us from the endless violence of this world, and that the true way towards this is not through the
conquering of one peoples over another but of furthering our ability to be receptive of other people’s
suffering and resolving the urge embedded in all things to find true peace. But despite all this, the
forces existent in society today are malignant and a continual source of danger to those of us who DO
recognize love as the only legitimate reality. People are blind—there is no much going on in the
spiritual reality that it is almost impossible to draw real conclusions about anything and yet we are all
entranced by this network of life and society as we know it that the distraction we’ve made seems to be
the only thing worth acknowledging. And so the creative force of humanity is drained out, streamlined,
consolidated, and sold to us worldwide in a convenient package which only serves the ego games we
put on one another like so many mountains and hazards in between us and what we strive for
personally. In other words--

Hoinfodaman by Primus—https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xryIm0lpB8I
So...this is where things get scary. Yes, spiritual reality is basically a tug-o-war between me and certain
forces which choose to remain ignorant (at any social, moral, or economic cost) but the way it
manifests is of endless psychological perturbations and dilemmas which are more complex than
imagined by anyone’s initial perception of them. In a way, it’s like sorting through the very eventide of
history, because as you look through the lens of what we define as specific instances of good and evil,
subjectivities are abound along with split-second decisions ultimately defining historical instances. In
truth, we should know that certain things should be kept sacred. The way this manifests is some kind
of a direct connection between reality and myself, and its complexity is tuned to the finest keytone.
Voices react to every particle of my field of influence, and are constantly sorting through data or
speaking in between my thoughts and about my thoughts. It is as though I am constantly generating
data to be processed (this is just prayer in essence) about the conundrum of having to fix the natural
state of society into the ideal which I have pre-supposed the necessity of. Imagine, if you could sit in a
circle of a group of people, all of them weighing the value/importance of your thoughts while you spin
whatever tale of persuasion and hope for the collective betterment, all the while certain spirits arise out
of the patterns of things you see in the physical world and will either function as a part of your brain’s
thought process or offer a reaction as your thoughts come and go. My brain even visualizes these
complex thought/psychic phenomenas and subtlety imprints reality as I go through my daily life. I
even feel pranas/energetic connections which exists without words. This occupies almost the whole of
my life, and I am particularly in awe of how much ado there is about the simple fact that I am, in fact,
experiencing sensory data that supports my positions on topics of health. A lot of it is, in a sense,
playful and open-minded. There is not a lack of empathy (there used to but I fixed it with meds) but
there is definitely a lack of communication which directly support my ideas. it’s just a constant flux
capacitor, of sorts, generating “boos” and “yays” depending on and constantly reactive to my spiritual
situation. Humanity has a culture! It just doesn’t exist in the present moment of the world because we
are ostracized by the very devices which elevated us to this platform of existence. The problem is,
though this may seem an obscure idea, an endless attachment to objectivity. Subjectivity is somehow
“lesser.” This is utter fault, yet it seems almost inexorable due to the current dogmas of science. Every
one life form that exists holds the imprint within it for the rest of the universe—that’s just gravity. it’s
impossible for anything to have matter and not be attracted to other forms of matter. And for whatever
reason, we choose to believe that consciousness is not rooted in matter. Because of ideas like this, it is
practically impossible for me to receive any sympathy for how important my ideas are in spite of many
years of consistent empirical data. Yet, it is consciousness that requires matter to have any base
impetus; any type of motion has an initial input which is based is conscious action and choice—choice
being like a consistent pre-set or formula and action being the flow of energy passing through any
given system. This is actually the base theorem which I base my ideas of game theory around, which I
will explain.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMU0tzLwhbE

DEVELOPERS! Lol.
it starts like this, and depending on your level of scrutiny, this will wear off over time. Let me explain
—your initial consciousness has already formulated a relay of how it will execute commands, allocate
energy, adjust measures of perceptions, maintain inner levels of happiness/sadness, and so forth. But
this formula is made in rather the same way water erodes rock, forming a path over use and time. In
other words, through the means of the unconscious. For me, things have completely changed. See, I
am working with the primary principal in place of energy conservation. We are taught an absurd notion
that we must use our energy for the pure sake of “burning calories.” that is the primary fallacy here,
and what it is is a disconnection from the real alchemy of consciousness and how we can deliberately
mere the unconscious with our immediate awareness—a truly insurmountable task to some who are
completely awash in cultural tropes and its gross programming. In fact, this is the greatest problem in
culture because what a calorie actually is is exactly like a conceptual philosopher’s stone (so long as
you are the one who governs you, which may not be the case because oftentimes the body knows
better). But the alchemy I am speaking of is that which occurs deeply within the psyche and the long-
term processes of the body as it gradually re-learns how to heal and maintain itself. So, on the video—
essentially this is how my experience has changed as I've grown out of using words to think over time.
It is constantly asking me “how much energy is expected to be used” and will calculate based on both
what I believe and what is known/avoidable. So there is a base input I receive from what I eat, and you
subtract from that any putrification occurring, (see my storage of health guide to know what i’m talking
about here) and then it may ask me how much rest I expect to get and then whatever is left over (IE
“profit”) gets used by the body as either inner bliss/satisfaction or as engrossment/attention span if I am
choosing to watch or enjoy some digital entertainment. It is literally impossible to not think about
expectations (which then draft my future body’s ability to heal, follow commands, etc) because it
knows that there is an actual conscious process of delegating energy, and in order to re-learn this you
have to completely disambiguate your conscious processes so that inner unknowns become knowns.
By developing this using the systems in my immortality theory/health guide, you can grow endlessly
more capable of increasing your quality of life (inner resource profit) and then you can learn to leave
the space of making conscious decisions and just focus on the present moment and it’s enjoyment. This
is, in fact, the greatest truth to what people ask as being the “meaning” of life (whatever that means,
aye?). it’s about higher profits! And why not? Everything has its own kind of inherent “high” to it no
matter how “pure” of a person you consider yourself to be. Often you just do things to relieve the
anxiety of cultural norms/morality (think like nuns whipping themselves for their “sins”) and that’s part
of the thing which is in essence game theory of the consciousness. You can imagine, for instance, there
is a “0 point” which is a state of being totally without stress (which includes anabolic stress, which is
essentially like being in a “K hole” or a very deep dream state where you do not have any sensory
input) which is the norm for your consciousness and from which you deviate from as need arises to do
things like re-calibrating your inner engine’s expectation set, a burst of adrenaline if you say miss a bus
and chase after it, or if you’re merely contemplating changing your morals/life course/etc. This zero
point has a set limit and if you are constantly exceeding it, it will move on its own (thus either
decreasing or increasing your energy surplus) to calibrate to reality. This point is an equilibrium
whereby potential energy and kinetic energy are equal, as they can be imagined within the processor
core of the self. Because the inner body has to have a sense of balance, there is really no way to
accurately predict what is going to happen in every moment. So, you can also look at is being like
congress with certain people being conservative and others liberal, except we’re talking about different
neurons in the brain instead of politicians which exist to keep energy efficient and balanced for reality.
Just as in politics, there are actually infinitely many complications in this, which is why a lot of people
find it impossible to meditate or do nothing because their bodies are so highly calibrated to stressful
environments. it’s not that your body is wrong—it’s just unsuited. I find that the game
theory/evolution of personal consciousness through channeled intentions and expectations to be very
much alike to being an air traffic controller. But it’s almost quite simple--any amount of will you put
into improving yourself is going to have a reward. it’s only so complex for most people in reality
because all of them are busy following half-truths that are so uncertain science for them changes by the
year!
There are tons of ways to increase one’s profit like optimizing your food sources, taking
medications, reducing necessary movement or strain, reducing inner stress which may be
philosophical/social/etc, and even flexing all your different body parts. In fact, it is through this system
of your expectations and allocations that you develop the use of even the most base sensations of the
self and grow personally competent at any given task. it’s important to recognize that there is really not
way to “try” harder to be healthy. I mean yeah, you can force individual circumstances by tapping into
base energy reserves, but being healthy is about homeostasis of being, and that is just like the physics
of the body—if the behavior is controlled, it will generate a consistent output. Like a microscope, there
are coarse and fine adjustments you can make. Through re-connecting with your body, this will
eventually become second-nature and you will literally feel every single choice resonating within your
body and causing adaptations. This is inner evolution at the most directly understood level, and
through it we can grow as a species if we make true use of it. But see, this is where it turns into a war
of propaganda. You don’t want to believe that cancer is the result of being out of tune with the natural
laws governing reality, and the worst part of all is that no one can patent any of this! it’s 100% inner
personal choice and free will! I like to cite this movie a lot as it demonstrates the absurdity of our
current world and brings to mind in anyone how we have totally lost our true sense of humanity to
government and corporate interests and worldwide indoctrination and slavery. There is no dialogue,
merely a time-lapse of some beautiful and horrible instances of “life out of balance:”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koyaanisqatsi

the biggest problem preventing social growth, as I see it, is a little word called “egalitarianism.” in a
lot of ways, it does apply. It makes sense. But then you start to wonder deeper things, and then you
start to drift away from societal expectations and form your own philosophies. Then you start to
realize...every one of these people has a stake in a type of reality which is literally suicide.

Empire by Kasabian--https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVTEqG9enEY

See, I called calories metaphorically philosopher's stones because they will do whatever you
want—if you’re stressed out over how good looking you are or whatever, that will improve! After all,
the thing that is communicated in looking good to the other sex is a strong immune system (but yes,
there are subjective complications ofc). I mean, really men—the real thing that you like to see in
women is two aspects of the body that demonstrate aptitude in raising or generating children. Of
course certain things are out of your control because the unconscious will always prioritize survival,
but that’s the whole point of reducing stress levels and correcting your health—so that you can then
take that surplus of energy and use it for whatever your body wants! Everything in culture is a method
of placating you and making false truths justified by sources I may generalize as being, for example,
feminism or Agenda 21. but these are just terms for the over-arching problem of failing to face up to
what’s real. And what’s real is that YOU AND ONLY YOU are in control of your health! but people
don’t just seek the truth—they seek out whatever half-truths fit their picture of reality. I mean, you can
call me wrong about the ability for will be to concentrated and cause healing within your body but
you’re still living in the same reality. So there’s really no benefit to being anything other than in a state
of complete acceptance. You won’t get anything out of it...ever:

Father Time by Animal Collective–https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PW6tc_8yT5I

or, in my preferred language--

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8knJbx5DUoY

no one person is better in the overall way than anyone else unless they are applying right
principals (which I have outlined). This is where egalitarianism is a working principal. But in society,
it is taken to the extreme. For example, I don’t personally believe in the idea of having a “Special
Olympics” because it’s not the perfection of the human ability/state. Yet, for every boon, there is an
equal and opposite negative trait. Some people have good genes because they are specified well to the
allocations that culture generates, but all other people who seem to be genetically “lesser” all have their
own unique traits—such is the nature of the human species, to be diverse, for we do not have a clear
darwinistic path to follow as most animals do. But ofc, if you become disabled after physically
harming yourself, then it is different and your body is merely doing just what it can to hang onto
survival. Weird idea, I know, but literally EVERY SINGLE OCCURRENCE no matter how good or
bad is working a path towards evolution. it’s all stored in the mainframe of our genetic coding which
has essentially infinitesimal memory. And, as I've said previous, it’s all just the allocation of finite life
force. My wife is actually an excellent example of this premise at work because she has had medical
problems her whole life including intermittently needing a wheelchair, having cancer, and allergies to
almost every type of food, but yet she has an incredible amount of spiritual power and associates
herself as being a “Wiccan.” But it’s not magic, really—it’s just a type p\of prowess that borders on the
ineffable.
In fact, on an interesting tangent here, spiritualism is the primary driving force in the current
world for human evolution, especially with regards to people who are diverting from the cultural
mainframe with mental or physical disorders. it’s very simple—people who are open to the alternative
doors of perception have too much data to process and thusly cannot cope with the world like those
who close their “third eye” (or whatever)–translation: ignorance is bliss. I mean, there is a reason why
nerds, people who are more brain-oriented, are usually unathletic. But this is just the thing for me—i
HAVE taken the time and effort to concentrate my energies into the spiritual plane. it’s like creating a
resonant or pheromonal imprint into the hive mind which I am in a constant state of elaborative
discussion and interaction on the meta-physical level with (which, btw, McKenna hypothesized once
that schizophrenia was primarily a pheromene-based phenomena). You can say “oh that’s not real” but
the thing is (and this is also the problem with trying to prove to people that correct diet/health
principals is actually the only real way to happiness, IE better living through chemistry/biological
satisfaction) I am experiencing a feeling/sensation, and that is projected into the spiritual world through
which we can all channel and become more aware of the signals other people release, and every single
feeling no matter how minuscule leaves an imprint on the greater template of human consciousness.
Terence McKenna actually said something similar to this when he experimented with a drug ketamine,
saying he had the sense that there was no human imprint because it was a newly-developed drug
compared to psilocyben mushrooms which are millions of years old and had long-lasting spiritual
imprints that impose upon the experiments. Some people call this something like the “Akashic
Records” but it’s all just the great, singular hum in the center of the universe by which all things are
connected as one. You could call it like the Earth Mother, even, because that is the thing which unities
all biological beings into one ecosystem. Plants and animals have an ages-old symbiosis which is made
to be of benefit for both parties, optimized over the course of time, which includes the spiritual and
alchemical reactions which are induced in the human CNS. But either way, it is awareness, and it is
created in long the same way people have had prophetic and religious experiences all throughout
human history. But the deeper reality of it is that it is not some God separate from all of all—the deep
truth is that all things are in a constant state of flux between connectedness and separateness
(essentially, yin and yang), so if one truly understands reality you know that there is both an endless
complexity to your inner free will just as much as you are bound to time’s previously laid-out
principals and percepts. So, what does all this mean for me and for the future?
The first thing is that I have literally carved out a section into the consciousness of humanity by
going my own way (see phrase: the “beaten path”). I have given my full heart of optimism to these
methods of health and what future we may unravel for the benefit of all and endless mental
reaffirmations tied to my immediate anecdotal experience. I have done what I can to be humble in face
of the fact that it can honestly feel like I am myself a sort of god whereby my experience is that I am in
a communion with all the people physically around me and my house. This is an idea that is in
violation of what McKenna referred to as the “masculine ego,” because it is the nature of man to be
independent and overcome obstacles in his environment rather than console and attempt to aid and
expand the feeling of worldwide societal love. Rather than the typical male who puts himself out there
in gross excess domination, I am in a state of constant introversion. The spirits come to me, in all
forms—voices from people in my direct environment, “constellation-based” hallucinations which are
occurring in my visuals out of the physical form of the environment, inner voices which are based often
on the voices of people I have known in my past or certain characters (real or made up) that have
occupied my mind. We are constantly working to find the answers rooted within all of us. And though
I can dominate them (though before I took medications they were the ones dominant over me) that is
not the issue. It is to hopefully help them overcome the necessary steps for us to move into a new stage
of humanity where we are not burdened by economic scarcity, dominance games over capital, and
separating ideologies. In this sense, I believe I am truly inexorable from my voices because my
lifelong goal has always been to communicate my ideals and help people understand them. So don’t
judge me for being who I am, or for having this disorder! The burden of appropriating my ideology for
cultural implementation is my rightful job and it not something I will stray from, now or ever in the
future—spiritual or physical it is all the same over a long time period as the present moment overtakes
all things to point us towards the better future. And believe me, it is not easy. As non-threatening as I
have tried to be, I tend to also be overly-direct and this has gotten me into more trouble than it’s ever
worth. But it is justified, for if you had seen through my eyes and ears what my schizophrenia was like
before I was able to transmute it for the better. The collective consciousness has not been nice to me. I
have been scared and tortured and deemed worse than irrelevant—a complete social deviant and
invalid. But through all of this, I have retained myself and my own truth. It is, I think, on many levels
comparable to being in the “gate of truth” as outlined in the animal “Fullmetal Alchemist.” the
truth/experiential data constantly being process and transferred through me and the environment is a
chaotic, endless force of churning, purification, and deepening of the perceptions (I talked about this to
some deal in my essay “Turtledove Thermogenesis”). And that’s just my personal life which occurs in
the spiritual plane (and, ever so ephemerally, in the physical): the most troublesome thing I have to
face is the Powers That B in society and all the endless conceptual and humanitarian disagreements it
wants to take up with me. It wants to paint me as being wholly selfish, deluded in my beliefs, a danger
to anyone and everyone, an outcast and a pariah. Now...this is not the opinion of everyone. There are
many open-minded and intelligent people who have lauded me but as far as any source of actual power
within the world? Yeah, i’m the scapegoat at the bottom rung. But, despite the darkness of humanity
which resulted in an endless tide of “kill yourself” voices for a time and the resilient oppression which
acts to crucify me for extremist beliefs, I still hope that we can meet in harmony at the end:

I’ll believe in anything—Wolf Parade: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G1eLTV89dM