Running head: PURSUING HIGHER EDUCATION 1

Smarthinking Tutor Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has
also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] within your essay. Thank you for
choosing Smarthinking to help you improve your writing!

Hello, Asia! My name is Angela B. I look forward to working with you on this Essay Center
Review to improve your writing today. Let's get started!

*Writing Strength:
You use sources that are reliable such as scholarly journals. This allows your readers to
understand that you are committed to delivering quality information. Good job, Asia!

* 9741714 has requested that you respond to the Content Development:

Some of the points stated in your body paragraphs are underdeveloped. A well-developed
paragraph leaves the reader feeling that the information given is thorough and complete. In
order for me to address this concern, I will be citing an excerpt from your draft:

I believe that the McClintock's scholar-practitioner elaborates on how professionals

use knowledge from organizational, community or cultural aspects to display expertise
in a specific profession track. (McClintock, 2003)

What is McClintock’s scholar-practitioner model? How does it apply to you? These questions
can guide you through the revision process. Please check your draft for other topics that lack
explanations and revise them accordingly.

* 9741714 has requested that you respond to the Organization:

To revise the organization of your essay, consider focusing first on developing a thesis that will
let your readers know about the contents of your essay. Your thesis statement contains
information that is not clearly elaborated in the body of your paper. This is a problem because
your readers are waiting for a discussion on the points you’ve introduced at the beginning of
your essay, but the paper finishes without a discussion on them. I’ll be quoting an excerpt
from your draft:

This sparked my passion to create an outreach for children who parents suffer from
mental health disorders.

Your draft does not discuss the outreach program you are planning. How do you intend to
carry out this outreach program? Tell your readers more about this project. You may read
more about Developing a Thesis in your Writer’s Handbook.

Grammar & Mechanics

Some of your sentences are missing commas. Using commas to separate words and ideas is
important because it allows your readers to have a smooth reading experience. Failure to use
commas when needed can cause confusion. Take a look at this excerpt from your draft:

With this knowledge I will follow my career vision of resolving work place issues.

Words, phrases, and clauses placed before the main clause of a sentence are known as
introductory elements. Most often, these introductory elements tell when, where, why, or how
the action occurred. A comma shows readers that the introductory element has ended and the
main sentence follows. So you may understand the revision need better, I have created a
parallel example below:

With your help, we will be able to raise enough funds for the community.
PURSING HIGHER EDUCATION 2

Please check your draft for similar errors. You may read more about Commas in your
Smarthinking Writer’s Handbook.

Summary of Next Steps:

 Explain your points well.
 Create a concise thesis statement.
 Separate introductory elements from the main sentence by using commas.

Thank you for submitting your essay for a review. I enjoyed helping you with this step in the
revision process. Have a good day, Asia! – Angela B.

You can find more information about writing, grammar, and usage in the Smarthinking
Writer's Handbook.

___________________________________________________________________________

Please look for comments [in bold and in brackets] in your essay below.
Thank you for submitting your work to Smarthinking! We hope to see you again soon.

Pursuing Higher Education

Asia Rankins M. Rankins

Capella University
PURSING HIGHER EDUCATION 3

Abstract

After identifying my passions and interest it inspired me to pursue higher education in

order to make the desired income and excel in my career path. I realized my

responsibility to the profession by acknowledging my role as practitioner-scholar. During

this process from scholar-practioner to practitioner-scholar, I will learn techniques,

theories and skills to efficiently contribute to the psychology profession as a creator of

research (McClintock, 2003). With this knowledge I will follow my career vision of

resolving work place issues. I understand that there will be many milestones to

accomplish my long term goal. By using SMART goals I created a plan of action to

establish achievable tasks within a certain time. After accessing the different aspects of

being a learner, it has motivated me to conquer the challenge in order to reap the benefits.
PURSING HIGHER EDUCATION 4

Pursing Higher Education

Introduction

Since I was a teen I have been interested in how mental health disorders effect the

day to day living activities. After receiving my undergrad degree in psychology, I entered

the field as a case manager. For the first time, I was required to service adults who

suffered from depression, schizophrenia, bipolar, anxiety and ADHD/ADD living in

urban communities. (Byck et al, 2013) In urban communities mental health resources

seem to be limited or hard to obtain. [ This sentence contains an introductory

element that isn’t separated from the main sentence. Use commas to separate them

from each other. (e.g. Through the school, we are able to carry out the mission of our

founders.)] There is also a taboo associated with acknowledging mental health in the

African American community which was majority of the cases I serviced. This

experience gave me first hand outlook on the issues clients, their families and the people

who service them encounter every day. I noticed that the children of clients who suffer

these disorders needs are often unmet or expressed (Delk, N. L,2016). This sparked my

passion to create an outreach for children who parents suffer from mental health

disorders.

Role as a Practitioner-Scholar

I believe that the McClintock's scholar-practitioner elaborates on how

professionals use knowledge from organizational, community or cultural aspects to

display expertise in a specific profession track. (McClintock, 2003) [What does this say

about your role as a practitioner-scholar? Clarify this for your readers.] It also
PURSING HIGHER EDUCATION 5

addresses the fact that experience and knowledge distinguishes the difference between

novices and experts.

The Capella's Learning Model Quick Reference breaks down the educational

requirements and expectations a scholar-practitioner is expected to grasp through each

level of post high school education (baccalaureate, master’s and doctoral). The

Baccalaureate Level (Reflective-Practitioner) teaches scholars how to use analytical and

relational skills by using research. The Master’s Level (Practitioner-Scholar) addresses

how learners will combine different ideas and theories in order to problem solve. The

Doctoral level (Scholar-Practitioner) expects learners to combine what they learned on

the reflective-practitioner and practitioner-scholar level to advance from a consumer of

research to a creator of research (Capella, 2003)

Both models supports the idea that practitioner-scholars is a collective effort to

enrich the profession (clients, colleagues, learners). Being a practitioner-scholar means

that I will use practical understanding, education and experience in efforts to grow within

the psychology field. Understanding the concept that research and theories are constantly

evolving is important for every practitioner-scholar. With that being said, by using these

models I will use literature to articulate skills acquired from experience, research and

analytical abilities to efficiently service an individual(s) based on their needs. The

scholar- practitioner model assisted me with identifying where I need to grow as it

pertains to the process I go about completing academic papers, assignments and

discussion boards.

Vision
PURSING HIGHER EDUCATION 6

Although that my personal passion deals with the community, my degree in

psychology with a specialization in industrial organization will help my aspirations to

work for myself. As I transitioned from case manager to quality assurance director, I got

my first taste of the administrative side of a functioning company. With this came many

headaches, sleepless night and unwarranted stress. With holding this possession I learned

so much and was open implementing and creating my own style to maintain ethical

standards in regards to documentation. I’m naturally a problem solver who is open to

suggestions has benefited me in my career and professional life. [How exactly can you

say that you are a natural problem solver? Illustrate an example in order to prove

your point. Make sure that you are able to relate this point to the thesis.] I realized

that when the owners fell short the administration team suffered as well as the case

managers. This experienced allowed me to understand the perspectives of business

owners and employees and the day to day operations.

Goals

My long term education goal is to obtain a master’s degree in psychology within

the next 2 years. With this degree I would like to explore the industrial organization part

of the field, due to my background as a non-clinical, administrator for a company that

services mental health clients. While earning the degree, I will increase my knowledge of

the psychology aspect of the work place. According to the Bureau of Labor statistics,

Americans spend 8.8hours a day working. However, the issues that transpire are often

ignored resulting to violent acts and homicide in the work place. Once I accomplish this

goal would allow me to create a consultant company that teaches administrative teams
PURSING HIGHER EDUCATION 7

and owners how to get the most out of their staff who service the mental health

population.

During the SMART goals activity, milestones, short term and longtime goals were

identified. Like every process, each step of accomplishing a goal is important to

acknowledge. By implementing SMART goals, I was required to create a plan of action

in order to accomplish the goal, set a time the goal should be accomplished and accessing

if the goal is reachable. This activity caused me to specifically focus on the steps I needed

to take while pursuing my education like time management and allowing my support

system to hold me accountable. [What about the outreach program that was

mentioned earlier? How can you incorporate this into your goals? Let your readers

know.]

Conclusion

Once I receive my degree I will be able to be an inspiration to the people who

look to me as a role model. Although I don’t have many examples of people who pursued

higher education, I feel blessed to be motivated enough to do so. I will also be able to

give back to the mental health community by applying newly obtained knowledge. I am

committed to becoming a contributor to the psychology field due to my unique insight on

problem solving skills. I have created and implemented time management systems to

assist with organizing professional and educational obligations. This has not been easy,

but I’m willing to work hard in order to achieve my goals.

PURSING HIGHER EDUCATION 8

References

Capella University. (2003). Capella University's scholar-practitioner educational

philosophy [White paper].

McClintock, C. (2004). Scholar practitioner model. In A. Distefano, K.E. Rudestam &

R.J. Silverman (Eds.), Encyclopedia of distributed learning
(pp. 394-397). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE.

Capella University. (2003). Learning model quick reference guide. Minneapolis, MN:
Author.

Capella University. (2016). Articulating Your Purpose. Retrieved from

ttp://media.capella.edu/NonCourseMedia/LearnerPurpose/purpose.asp

Delk, N. L. (2016). Effect of culturally based arts activities on self-efficacy, self-

expression, and achievement motivation in adolescent inner-city youth (Order No.
10016178).

Byck, Gayle R.., Bolland, John., Dick, Danielle., Ashbeck, Alan W., Mustanski, Brian S.,
(2013) Prevalence of mental health disorders among low-income African American
adolescents Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, Vol 48(10), 1555-1567

Bureau Of Labor Statistics. (2016). American Time Use Survey. Retrieved from
https://www.bls.gov/tus/charts/