The University of Surrey Students’ Union Newspaper
issue 1045 www.ussu.co.uk
We only went and won them!
THIS WEEK HAS been the most succesful
period in living memory for the student me-
dia of the University of Surrey.
On Thursday of last week, GU2 1350AM,
the student radio station of UniS, was named
“Student Radio Station of the Year” at the
annual student radio awards; this was fol-
lowed two days later by the “Best Student
Campaign” award for barefacts at the
National NUS/Independent student media
awards, recognising the series of newspapers
that contested the University’s planned rent
increases last academic year. Both awards
are the first for each communication
THURSDAY 21 NOVEMBER 2002
BY RICHARD WATTS
medium in their relatively short histories
and were met with jubilation and unbounded
exuberance from all of those who attended
the awards ceremonies. Gareth Davies,
the station manager of GU2 for which the
award was presented, said: “This is a great
achievement for the station and everybody
involved, especially given that this was our
first year of full-time broadcasting. We were
a bit surprised to win but it is a testament
to everyone involved that we are the station
that has won the ultimate prize in student
Above: the two media awards, won respectively by
GU2 radio station (inset) and the very paper you hold
in your hands, barefacts. They are the first awards the
student media of UniS has ever won and reflect an
unparalleled year in terms of participation, quality and
commitment. Photos: Paul Wright & Scott Geary.
INSIDE
pages 6 & 7: a two page special looking
at the achievements of barefacts and GU2
photos from both of the awards cer-
emonies, quotes from those that were there
and the histories of GU2 and barefacts
free
broadcasting.” His sentiments were echoed
by Tristan O’ Dwyer, last year’s Communi-
cations & Marketing sabbatical and editor of
barefacts: “This award means an awful lot
to me and everybody that was involved with
the newspaper last year. To receive a nomi-
nation for the first time in barefacts’ history
was great, but to actually walk away with
the award, ahead of some great campaigns,
is unbelievable.”
The two awards represent the culmination
of much work by students, the Union and the
University respectively, and place the media
in a very strong national position.
2 NEWS 21 November 2002

REVELLING IN THE “They are willing to pay for a car, so why not an education?” asks new Education Secretary
GLORY OF THE VICTORIES
Two pages
dedicated
to GU2 and
barefacts to cel-
Clarke delivers warning shot
ebrate the great IN AN ARTICLE written for The
achievements Independent on Sunday, Charles Clarke,
of the last week the new Secretary of State for Education,
| pages 6 & 7 has suggested that children from middle
class families will have to pay more for a
university education, and that the argument
A BAREARTS EXCLUSIVE over top-up fees is in danger of reaching
“iconic status.”
INTERVIEW Mr Clarke, a former president of the
Rachael Bemrose meets National Union of Students and Cambridge
up with Clare University Students’ Union, commented
Buckfield that “speculation about how to pay [for
(that’s right higher education] seems to have replaced
a necessary debate about the future of HE,”
- Dec’s girl-
and highlights that his priority was not higher
friend) to have education (HE) funding but improving “the
a chin-wag and quality of education in our schools.”
talk about her In his first article since the resignation
new play bar- of Estelle Morris four weeks ago, entitled
earts | page17 “They’ll happily pay up for a car, so why
not for an education?” Mr Clarke delivers
a thorough analysis of the current situation
PHONECARDS in HE and its funding, accepting that there is
a funding deficit faced by many universities
The Union has started selling phone-
and asserting that the public and
cards. Turn to the poster on page 14 for
details on this new scheme.
I’m glad someone is saying something
IN THIS WEEK’S PAPER Fortunately, the NUS
BY RICHARD WATTS
government need to asses how universities
are run such that they can utilise their
assets in a similar fashion to hospitals and
businesses. More worryingly for students,
he also delivers an assured message to
those who benefit from the HE system,
highlighting both alumni and individual
students as primary examples of these.
In the case of the latter, Mr Clarke
maintains that “as NUS president, one
of the most powerful arguments of my
generation was that we should be treated
as independent at the age of 18 and not be white paper to be delivered in January will
financially dependent upon our parents.” It contribute to this focus.
is then suggested that “many young people Objetcting to top-up fees, on the other
do not think twice about taking out a loan or hand, is Claire Short, the International
credit to buy a car or holiday,” even thought Development Secretary. Calling them “ a
they, unlike education, are depreciating really bad idea,” Ms Short warned that the
assets. Accepting that “each [option for introduction of top-up fees would create a
funding] brings strong postive and negative two-tier higher education system, similar to
responses,” Mr Clarke concludes that the that in the US, and that she was sure “the
funding ‘drift’ tolerated by successive government could find a more intelligent
governments must be addressed and that the way through.”
University of
Whichever way the top-up

UniS jump the gun on new site

A new roadsign has appeared on the
roundabout outside Tesco’s that could be
potentially embarrasing for UniS opposite
The firefighters made the news
Two viewpoints on the firefighter’s strike of
last week: did they come out of it well, or
will the suffer? Comment | page 8, 9
barearts misses James Bond
Having not been able to watch the film,
barearts previews it anyway - it’s not like
you listen anyway... barearts | page 13
Short story competition
Chris Ward introduces you to the barefacts
“short story” competition that will be run-
ning next semester barearts | page 16
A kick-ass music section
Four pages of music, including singles,
albums, gigs and the return on “What’s on
your campus stereo?” barearts | page 22
Footballing heroes return
They were there in the first issue of the year
and now they return victorious: the men’s
football team are back! Sport | page 28
president is at the centre of
the debate concerning the
“will-they-won’t they” circus
currently entertaining the
domestic political landscape
as the “Labour division” re-
garding top-up fees continues
to take up excessive column
inches (of which here are a RICHARD WATTS of course - that she is the one
few more to boot).
Unfortunately for students, “Not one article has
however, this particular pres-
mentioned Mandy Telford’s the job; it is just how that
ident is not the current one
- a certain Miss Telford - but
name, let alone any of the
NUS’ policies or demands.”
instead the one that used to
run the show and who used
his time in office to fight for
“more financial independence from their
parents for 18 year olds” - a hairy situation
indeed for those who may have a stake in
the financial future of Higher Education.
Over the last four or five weeks, especially
since Sir Richard Syke’s announcement
over Imperial’s market-fees plans, not a
day has gone by without a columnist’s or
analysist’s viewpoint on how HE should be
finded, and whether or not students should
pay for their education. Interestingly, none
of these articles has even mentioned Mandy
Telford’s name, let alone any of the policies
or requests she, as NUS president, might
have to make on behalf of virtually the en-
tire student nation, a situation that appar-
ently only I find a little bit disconcerting.
Day after day I receive press releases
from the NUS headquarters to the effect of
“Mandy Telford said this today to a load of
people who have heard her say all of these
things before. She played a selection of
her classic hits, such as “top-up fees cre-
ates a two-tiered system,” “top-up fees are
against the government’s widening partici-
pation agenda” and, a favourite of us all,
“the NUS wants ‘grants not fees’.” Would
somebody please play a different record?
fees decision goes (and I
think we all have a fair in-
clination of what might hap-
pen), what has the continual
concentration on Mandy and
Mandy alone contributed to
proceedings? Monotony. It
is no offence to Ms Telford,
that always has to get up and
speak is part and parcel of
must appear to everyone else
that is really worrying. If I
were a government minis-
ter, faced with a national
president who repeats day
after day the very same argument, as well
as year after year the “annual demonstra-
tion,” I would register a passing “ah bless”
thought and move on to realistic business,
such as figuring out the capping level for
any possible top-up fees and how bursary
funds can be maximised so that the under-
privileged can also attend university should
their abilities allow. Reminiscent of a nag-
ging five year old child, you don’t just give
people what they want in order to make
them go away. So maybe the NUS should
go away and have a think about what it can
actually achieve, otherwise its moans will
continue on into the terrible-teens.
Above: Alf Adams and Brian Sealey
Surrey awarded
Queen’s medal
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
EDITOR
LAST WEEK THE University of Surrey
became one of five Universities around
the country to be honoured with Queen’s
Anniversary Prize for Higher and Further
Education, one of the most prestigious
awards in the country. It was presented in
recognition of its contribution to industry and
outstanding work in the fields of ion beam
applications and optoelectronic devices
for over 30 years. The research groups,
headed by Professor Alf Sealy and Professor
Alf Adams have carried out cutting edge
research developing articles such as CD
and DVD players, printers and microwave
circuits for satellite communications.
The only facility of its kind in the
country, the Surrey Ion Beam Centre is
acknowledged as a European Centre of
Excellence and much of the work has
involved collaborations with over 30 other
university groups. The centre is currently
building on its success, having received a
grant for a new continuously operating state-
of-the-art ion beam accelerator to replace its
current 47 year old machine. This makes the
IBC one of the best equipped laboratories of
its kind in Europe.
Speaking of the prize, Vice-Chancellor
Professor Patrick Dowling said “It is
a great honour for the University to be
awarded a further Queen’s Anniversary
Prize particularly in this, the year of Her
Majesty’s Golden Jubilee. I am very proud
of the achievements of our world class
research teams.”
21 Novermber 2002 NEWS 3

University jumps the gun on Manor Park development

THE PICTURE ON the right, obtained
exclusively by barefacts, show that UniS
is expecting its Manor Park development
to go ahead as planned. Despite recent
difficulties with planning permission and
rather damning headlines in the local press,
the road sign, situated on the roundabout
by Tescos supermarket was erected
around a week ago with a scratchcard-type
‘substance’ covering up “University, Manor
Park” and indicates that the development by
the Varsity Centre is all but certain.
Suspicion was evidently aroused by other
road signs directing traffic to the “University
of Surrey, Stag Hill” campus, and within
days of the signs going up, an unknown
person(s) removed the covering ‘gum’.
When asked to comment, a spokesperson
for the university said: “The university
thought some of the road signs were looking
a little old, so we suggested they be replaced.
The Highways Agency, however, required
BY RICHARD WATTS
that the University pay for them, and so we
decided to take into account out future plans
for the Manor Park sight in order to avoid
further costs in the future.”
This incident follows a headline in last
week’s Guildford Times that stated “UniS
won’t listen to us”, in which residents of
the town explained their dismay at the
attitude displayed by the university officials
concerning the Manor Park development. A
week before, the Surrey Advertiser ran two
stories condemning the development and
the current parking situation on campus,
containing strong words from Sue Doughty,
the Liberal Democrat MP for Guildford.
Commenting on the parking situation, Mrs
Doughty said: “I have taken the issue up
with the University more than once but have
not had a response.”

Car theft worry for students

BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
EDITOR
THE NIGHT OF Sunday 17th November
saw two incidents of serious car crime
committed only minutes from the University
�������������������������������������������������������������� campus. Early in the evening a Fiat Uno
parked in Guildford Park Road was broken
����������������� into, but although the steering column was
broken and a windscreen smashed, it is
believed that nothing was stolen. However,
in an incident believed to have taken place
later that evening, a car belonging to a final
year electronic engineering student was
stolen from St John’s Road. It was parked
there on Sunday evening, but was reported
stolen on Monday evening when the owner
returned. Students are urged to take special
care when parking cars off campus, and to
be aware that cars left alone for long periods
can provide an easy target for criminals.

���������������� If you notice any suspicious behaviour or

have been a victim of car srime yourself,

������������� please contact the security office who

will be able to assist or advise you fur-
ther. barefacts will provide you with news
whenever we hear of any updates.
������������������������� If you have any news, then please contact
������������������������� us: barefacts@ussu.co.uk or phone on
���������������������������������������� [01483] 689275.
��������������������������� Photo: Chris Hunter

�������������������������
������������������������������������
Students to benefit from housing reforms
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
��������������������������������� EDITOR
���������������� THE NATIONAL UNION of Students has
��������������������������������� welcomed housing reforms announced in
the Queen’s Speech last week, designed to
��������������� ensure the better regulation of houses of
����������������������� multiple occupancy.
������������������������������������������������ The government’s housing bill gives
���������������������������� councils the power to decide whether a
������������������������������������������������� house is fit for occupation and ensure
landlords have a licence before renting out
����������������������������������������������������� homes for multiple occupation. Houses of
���������������������������������� this type are typically occupied by students
and are of notoriously low standards. The
����� Queen announced: “Legislation in draft
will be published to improve both housing
from unscrupulous landlords. Any steps
to improve the often horrific state of
student accommodation is a step in the
right direction. This new legislation must
ensure that all landlords of private rented
accommodation - not just those who own
larger properties - comply with minimum
health and safety standards. “
The NUS Health and Housing survey 2001
showed that more than half of students
sharing houses had problems with damp,
four out of ten had found evidence of mould
and 52% had reported repairs that had not
been carried out by the landlord. Nearly
half of landlords had not complied with
existing gas safety regulations or shown
the tenants the gas safety certificate. David

��������� �������� standards and standards of management Fotheringham, policy chief at the Chartered
of private rented accommodation by Institute of Housing, said “There have been
������ landlords.” occasions where students have died from
��������� ����������������������
����������������
Mandy Telford, President of the NUS
said: “Currently, students living in shared
gas fires which haven’t been adequately
checked, and hopefully this law will address
�������������������������������� ����������������
houses are not afforded any protection those issues.”
4 NEWS
Merger collapses after stiff staff opposition Cannabis “more
“IMPERIAL COLLEGE AND UCL
have now completed an intense period of
deliberation since it was first announced
that the two colleges were exploring the
desirability and feasibility of merger
between the two institutions. A number
of areas for future collaboration have
been identified and may well be pursued.
However, the overall conclusion is that the
best interests of the two institutions are not
served by a formal merger”
So read the statement issued by the two
universities contemplating a merger until
this week. The merged university was set
to become the largest institution in the UK,
sufficient to rival the Ivy League institutions
of the US such as Harvard. The merger plans
foundered, however, due to fierce opposition
from academics at UCL – acting provost Sir
Derek Roberts referred to their defiance as
“hypocrisy” and “lies” only last week, as he
attempted to keep the plans on track. The
universities have admitted defeat, and UCL
University grading gets the 2.9th degree
THE DEPARTMENT FOR Education and
Skills sources have confirmed that UK
degree grading is likely to be criticised
in the coming White Paper on Higher
Education from the government. A report
in The Times Higher Education Supplement
said the DfES ‘would not be drawn’ on the
report, but apparently the higher education
minister, Margaret Hodge, considers the
current 4 level grading system to have
become irrelevant in the face of grade
inflation. The fear is that the A-level practise
of awarding only a certain number of top
grades in order to retain the prestige of the
qualification has become rife in the current
higher education system, with an unofficial
limit on the number of 2:1 and 1st degrees in
place in many institutions. Said Ian Gibson,
chair of the House of Commons science and
technology select committee: “We do
editor in chief editor
richard watts sarah butterworth
comms@ussu.co.uk mu91sb@surrey.ac.uk
film editor film editor
stewart fudge jolyon hunter
cs81sf@surrey.ac.uk cs91jh@surrey.ac.uk
BY PHILIP HOWARD
NEWS EDITOR
is now looking for a provost – the merger
was expected to have provided Sir Richard
Sykes (of GlaxoSmithKline merger fame)
for the role.
The institution resulting from the merger
would have had 10,000 research students
and staff – by comparison there are
approximately 10,000 students in total here
at Surrey. The Association of University
Teachers (AUT) was not in favour of the
merger; “common sense has prevailed”
said its General Secretary, Sally Hunt, of
the news. The combination of Imperial’s
intention to introduce top-up fees of around
£10,000 and the news of the merger were
enough to ignite a large résistance in the
academia of the universities. Fears of
redundancies prevailed, with opponents of
the merger pointing to those that followed in
the immediate aftermath of the GSK merger
BY PHILIP HOWARD
NEWS EDITOR
not want to have the same sort of problems
in universities that we saw with A-level
marking”.
The scheme that would replace it is reputed
to be the one used in the US in which the
grades are rated from 4 to 1, with the highest
being 4. There is not agreement across the
board, but Professor Elton thinks is has
Margaret Hodge’s support – she “wants to
replace classification with a US system of
grading. There are advantages to this but it
hides the fact that certain aspects of learning
are difficult to grade”. The US system gives
graduates a single score, which includes
a decimal place – so students can get an
almost-but-not-quite 3.9.
Another alternative being pushed by the
2002 - 2003
news editor music editor
philip howard alex read
ph02ph@surrey.ac.uk cs01ar@surrey.ac.uk
photography editor literature editor
chris hunter chris ward
funkyberry@hotmail.com cs21cw@surrey.ac.uk
Sir Richard also instigated.
Opposition to the merger was both
vocal and widespread, with the website
www.saveUCL.com springing up – it now
carries on its front page: “SORTED and
thanks all who have visited or contributed
to this site for their part in this great
result!”. The site has a set of posters for
the more fervent opponents, with slogans
like “Combat Imperialism” and “UCL
Libre” to choose from. The students are not
all opponents of the merger though, with
some lamenting the loss of the plans on
the UCLU message board: “Today is a sad
day. The vision was to great a world leading
university. That vision has been ruined by
petty egos, small mindedness and desire to
stop change” states ‘inkiboo_cs’. The debate
is now turned squarely back to top-up fees.
QAA’s former director Norman Jackson is
of progress files which “are about adding
to the classification system”. Apparently
“they can make provision for highlighting
work experience, or students’ study abroad”
– another CV to keep up to date then. Said
Professor Elton: “Degrees are so varied and
complicated, with modularisation, that only
a detailed profile can say what a student has
achieved”. These are already being piloted
in some institutions, amidst widespread
support for the practise.
music editor theatre editor
simon robinson rachael bemrose
barefacts@ussu.co.uk sc92rb@surrey.ac.uk
sports editor lifestyle editor
eddison ruswa position under construction
ce21er@surrey.ac.uk barefacts@ussu.co.uk
21 Novermber 2002
harmful than
tobacco”
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
EDITOR
A HEALTH CHARITY this week warned
that smoking pure cannabis is more
harmful to the lungs than tobacco. A study
performed by the British Lung Foundation
concluded that smoking just three cannabis
joints a day can cause the same damage as
20 cigarettes. When cannabis and tobacco
are combined the effects are dramatically
worse. Research has shown that tar from
cannabis cigarettes contains 50% more
cancer causing carcinogens than pure
tobacco. The chairman of the British Lung
Foundation, Dr Mark Britton, said: “These
statistics will come as a surprise to many
people, especially those who choose to
smoke cannabis rather than tobacco in the
belief it is safer for them. It is vital that
people are fully aware of the dangers so they
can make an educated decision and know
the damage they may be causing.”
Surveys carried out this year show that
79% of children believe that cannabis is
‘safe’ and only 2% understood that there are
associated health risks. After the dramatic
increase in people smoking cannabis, many
studies carried out in the sixties and seventies
have underestimated the side-effects of
smoking the drug due to the increase of
the major active chemical compound,
delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol, in the drugs
commonly consumed today. The chief
executive of the British Lung Foundation,
Dame Helena Shovelton, said: “inhalation
volume with cannabis is up to four times
higher than with tobacco - in other words
you inhale deeper and hold your breath with
the smoke for longer before exhaling. This
results in more poisonous carbon monoxide
and tar entering into the lungs.”
The British Lung Foundation is calling for
the government to increase public health
education on the health risks of cannabis.
The charity will also be pushing for further
research into cannabis and the lungs and its
links with chronic illnesses.
NOTICES
GU2 EGM
21st November | 6.15pm
Union Committee Room
Switchgear Online Gaming AGM
22nd November | 6.30pm
Union Committee Room
Tamil Society AGM
29th November | 6pm
Union Committee Room
Taiwanese Society AGM
28th November | 6.30pm
Lecture Theatre K
Malaysian Students Society AGM
29th November | 8pm
Lecture Theatre J
21 Novermber 2002 NEWS 5

Cambridge University rejects the possibility of top-up fees

Students make a “big noise” as university officials urge government to explore all possibilities
CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY LAST week
broke rank with other leading institutions,
announcing that it has “no plans to introduce
top-up fees”. In a statement released by the
University Council, Cambridge urged the
Government to: “rigorously explore and
consider all the available funding options.”
The statement was released after the Council
met on Monday 11th November to discuss a
paper brought by Paul Lewis, the President
of Cambridge University Students’ Union,
detailing the reasons why top-up fees would
be detrimental to University applications
and make a mockery of the government’s
widening participation policy.
The meeting was accompanied by a ‘Big
Noise’ protest by almost 2,000 students,
staff and academics, who congregated
BY SARAH BUTTERWORTH
EDITOR
outside armed with trombones, guitars,
drums and saucepans. As rumours suggested
that lectures were being cancelled in order
to let students attend the protest instead, the
University’s reaction was positive, with one
official commenting that he was “moved” by
the protest. At 11am, all students observed
a 2-minute silence in respect of Armistice
Day. Paul Lewis said today “The turnout
was unprecedented, and the noise was
phenomenal. No one can underestimate
the importance of this issue. Top-up fees
cannot be reconciled with attempts to widen
participation in Cambridge or elsewhere.”
The protest comes after a campaign by
Cambridge University Students’ Union
which has persuaded over 700 alumni to
refuse to donate to the University until top-
up fees are unconditionally ruled out.
The ‘Big Noise’ was in stark contrast to the
silent protest three weeks ago at Imperial
College, where the college voted to charge
£10,500 if the Government allowed them
to do so.
Mandy Telford, President of the NUS,
said: “This reiterates the message to the
government that nobody wants top-up fees.
Lecturers don’t want them, parents don’t that top-up fees are still on the agenda
want them, students don’t want them and and will continue to fight against them.
even Labour MPs don’t want them. This The government needs to recognise what
government committed itself to a review happened today at Cambridge, it needs to
of student funding with the aim of making listen to the public and it needs to rule out
improvements. The NUS is astounded top-up fees.”

ACCORDING TO THE Times Higher, the

number of students heading to Australia to
study is up 44% on last year, standing now
at over 1700. Some think that the talk of
top-up fees may have given students cause
to consider kangaroo country: “Maybe UK
students are beginning to feel that if they
are going to have to pay fees anyway, they
might as well look further afield for the kind
of courses and lifestyle they would like”
says Claire Wright, a horticulture student at
Cooloola and Sunshine Institute in Nabour
near Brisbane, already a Master of Natural
Resources Studies at the University of
Queensland.
The actual universities fees are higher,
with fees between £3.5k to £10.5k (A$10k
to A$30k) a year, but with living expenses
estimated to be three times lower than those
Advertising feature
Did you collect your mug at the
BY PHILIP HOWARD
NEWS EDITOR
in the UK.
Benefits that students see in studying in
Australia include a friendly style of teaching,
small class sizes, high-quality facilities
and Australia’s stance as gateway to Asia.
Around 20% of the students are on IT
courses, whilst two-thirds are on health, arts,
humanities or business and administration.
New constitution not accepted
Flexible and often tailor-made programmes
BY RICHARD WATTS
are a particular pull for the post-grads say
IDP, for whom they make up around 75% of
THE NEW CONSTITUTION of the
inquiries, along with ‘lifestyle choices’.
Students’ Union has been questioned by a
university official, who is unhappy with the
treatment of the sabbatical officers’ position
in the new document.
Mr Peter Beardsley, the Academic
Regsitrar for UniS – whose task it is to
ensure the constitution is a fair and legal
document – has indicated a justified
unhappiness concerning the location of the
sabbaticla officer numbers within the “Rules
and Appendices” section of the updated
constitution – the document that prescribes
precisely how the Students’ Union operates USSU. Four years ago, an extra sabbatical
democratically – and has indicated a
preference that the number of full0time
role – roughly known as “Vice President
Finance & Development” – was created in

Careers Fair?
elected Union officials is contained within
the “Core” constitution.
Under the new document, which was passed
by an overwhelming majority at Student
Council last Tuesday, changes can be made
If not, claim yours on to the “Rules and Appendices” section
relatively easily, such that the document
can reflect the changes within the Students’
Thursday 12th December 2002 Union. (Currently, in order to make any
constitutional amendment, four weeks and
2-4pm numerous Student Councils, as well as
scrutiny by the University, must be passed
Lakeside Restaurant before any such changes are implemented).
Any change to the Core constitution,
however, must not only be passed by the
FREE COFFEE AND FREE SURREY ALUMNI SOCIETY MUGS! required number of Student Councils at
the relevant quoracy levels, but also by the
University, creating a long-winded process
that reacts slowly to change.
Guest celebrity Mr Beardsley’s hesitancy reflects the recent
Vice-Chancellor, Professor Patrick Dowling history of the sabbatical positions at
order to allow representation of students
in the financial issues affecting the union.
This move raised the number of sabbaticals
from five to six, the funding for which came
from the University. The last three years
have highlighted many difficulties with the
sixth sabbatical position, however, and the
union has once again reverted to just five
sabbaticals. Requiring that the number
of sabbaticals is included within the Core
constitution, therefore, allows the University
to keep tabs on the number of sabbaticals
and ensure that any unnecessary issues can
be avoided as a result of suitable funding.
Such concerns were greeted by the union
with disappointment as plans are already in
place to set in stone the sabbatical positions
and the roles they play; the delay in any
University approval could also affect the
part-time and full-time officer elections due
to be held at the beginning of next semester.
6 AWARD WINNING MEDIA
barefacts: best student campaign & GU2: best student radio station
This is something we can all be proud of
Even if you have never writ-
ten a letter for this paper or
said a single word on GU2,
these awards are something
we can all be proud of. Go-
ing home at Christmas isn’t
just about catching up with
your family and friends
and seeing how they are all
getting on - it is also about RICHARD WATTS he worked 19 hours a day
blowing your own trumpet
and saying how brilliant “Not one article has
the university you chose to
mentioned Mandy Telford’s man other than this award is
attend actually is. This ap-
name, let alone any of the
proach is so widespread here
NUS’ policies or demands.”
that it has manifested itself
in something known as “the
Surrey Pride,” but now we
all have something we can shout about so it
is not just the sporty ones running around
with that intangible ‘pride’ tag-line.
A lot has been said regarding how fantas-
tic these achievements are, so let me take a
moment to put it all in context. First of all,
GU2.
The radio station has won this award
in its first year of full-time broadcasting.
That is the equilvalent of saying “Accring-
ton Stanley won the F.A. Cup the first time
they ever entered it.” The magnitude of
this achievement cannot be underestimat-
ed. The stations against which GU2 was
competing have been established for a long
time and have teams easily in excess of one
hundred people, all contributing to shows,
production, advertising - everything you
could ever imagine to run a station. GU2,
on the other hand, though full of totally
dedicated volunteers, had nothing ap-
proaching the set-ups of these other places
and soldiered on, making do with the facili-
ties it had.
GU2’s award cannot be mentioned with-
out the name Gareth Davies in the same
sentence, because he, as Station Manager
for the award-winning year, put in the most
21 November 2002
Having been nominated around a month of the student media at the University of editor, and the rest of his team. Given the
ago, both GU2 1350AM and barefacts have Surrey has won any sort of national award emphasis the NUS places on campaigns
picked up the awards for which they were and reflects just how quickly it has caught and lobbying institutions that can make im-
nominated, making last year the most suc- up with the national media scene. plement change, this award is all the more
cessful ever in terms of national recognition GU2 has only been braodcasting full- satsifying.
for the media of the University of Surrey. time for 18 months now, having previosuly The prizes for winning the awards were,
GU2 beat XPress radio from Cardiff uni- broadcast at sporadic times with no real for GU2, wo hours of broadcasting on
versity into second place whilst barefacts infrastructure to speak of. This was soon Radio One, and for barefacts, a cheque for
ensured www.payuptony.com, the fees changed by a £40k injection of cash from £500 and work experience at The Independ-
campaign, came second to its tirade the University and plenty of financial and ent. Details in barefacts as and when.
against the university’s planned rent administrative support from the Students’
hikes last year. Union. who ensured that the full-time sta-
GU2 was also nominated for the tion manager position became a fully-paid
“Best speech-based program placement opportunity. Gareth Davies was
- factual” but lost out to a show the first such placement student and, under
called “Mission Impossible” at his leadership, the station has reached the
Imperial College London. giddy heights it scales today.
This is the first time that any Similarly, barefacts has undergone quite a
transformation in its recent history. Previ-
ously published as an A4 document, Matt
Pannell, a former sabbatical, decided to
change the format to the familiar tabloid
style that has been hand-distributed across
campus for the last four years. Previous
editors, including Andy Blair and Kev
Marston, all helped to shape the paper and
its design such that the improvements over
the years have culminated in this prestig-
ious award for Tristan O’ Dwyer, last year’s
incredible amount of effort
and displayed tremendous
dedication to every aspect
of the station. If some-
thing went wrong, Gareth
would more than likely fix
it himself and was on call
literally twenty-four hours a
day; during the FM period,
full-stop. There is nothing
more to be said about that
rightfully his (along with all
those that contributed their
own substantial portions of
time) and that it would be
a crime if he does not go on
to achieve a successful career in the radio
industry.
But what of our own barefacts? Well, at
the risk of sounding sentimental, the same
can be said of Tristan - last year’s editor.
To take on barefacts with little experience
and make it into an award winning paper
- which is exactly what Tristan did, along
with his own team of helpers - is something
I can only applaud. The weekly ritual is
a difficult one to explain, but for Tristan
to put together a series of papers near the
end of his term in office, when there are a
hundred other things going on, is a testa-
ment to the chap and how he approaches
everything he does: professionally and in a
considered fashion.
I hope neither Gareth or Tristan minds
me saying those few words.
And so to this year - what a reputation we
have to live up to. The awards put a little
pressure on myself and Bianca Toy, the
current station manager of GU2, to recre-
ate the success, but hopefully, with the help
of an army of volunteers, we can gather a
heap of nominations once again next year
and maybe, just maybe, add a couple more
awards to our brand new trophy cabinet.
21 November 2002
The awards ceremonies
In order to win awards, you must not
only have been the best in your cat-
egory at what you do, but also attend
the awards ceremony so that you can
pick up the prizes (pictured above).
The ceremonies for the Student Radio
Awards and the Student Media Awards
were held at Goldsmiths College, Lon-
don and the Shakespeare Underglobe
theatre on the South Bank respectively,
and were both fantastic evenings at
which student journalism in general
was celebrated. Famous-ish women
Emma B and June Sarpong hosted the
radio and media awards respectively,
and both gave a sense of glamour and
excitement to the occasions.
For the radio awards, Goldsmiths col-
lege had a somewhat unfree, free bar
AWARD WINNING MEDIA 7
and nibbles that disappeared very
quickly. The actual ceremony, how-
ever, was very professional and had
renowned dj’s such as Tim Westwood
and the controller of Radio One, Andy
Parfitt, there to present the awards.
The media ceremony was a more swift
affair, with a lot less focus on the read-
ing out of nominations and more on the
free food and wine.
The event, which was sponsored by
Topman and Topshop, was part of the
student media conference hosted by the
NUS at Canary Wharf, at which poten-
tial winners of future awards learnt their
trade from established professionals
from the broadsheet and tabloid papers
as well as magazines such as Heat.
8 COMMENT
THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY STUDENTS’ UNION
WWW.USSU.CO.UK
Make yourself heard: get along to these
meetings and state your case
This week and next, we find ourselves in a
position where two very different organisa-
tions require our help and our support.
On home soil, the Students’ Union needs to
have a certain number of people such that
this much talked-about constitution can
finally see the light of day and actually be
implemented. Though it is unsure whether
or not his can actually be achieved with re-
spect to a justifiably hesitant university we
all wait and see, but it is important as many
people as possible take the time to gain what
knowledge they can when the opportunities
arise. Thus, Tuesday 26th November, lec-
ture theatre L, 1pm - is the place to be.
A little further afield, but still very close to
the hearts of all students, is the annual na-
tional demonstration opposing tuition fees
and, more importantly this year than ever
before, the threat of top-up fees. Though
barefacts has always suggested that people
question their reasoning behind demand-
ing a free education, this opportunity is the
It is quite a worrying time for students all
over the country
The news section this week brings with it
some pretty nasty surprises: if your car is
not getting broken into, then the Secretary
of State for education is as good as telling
you that you (or thenext generation) will be
paying a fair amount of money to receive
this privilege of higher education. Add
to this the fact that it is now week eleven
and exams, coursework deadlines and the
inevitability of half another year passing
you by, Christmas seems a very long way off
indeed and we could all do with a stiff drink,
THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK
“The one thing more difficult than following a regime is not imposing it on others.”
MARCEL PROUST (1871 - 1922),
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is
published by the University of Surrey Students’ Union
Communications Office.
The views expressed within the paper are those of individual
authors and do not necessarily represent the views of the
Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the
University of Surrey.
This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part,
stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express
permission of the publisher beforehand.
All submissions must include the author’s name and Union
or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication.
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions.
barefacts@ussu.co.uk
WWW.USSU.CO.UK
© USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2002
21 November 2002
best to let everyone know just how you feel
about the current situation, and lets you meet
many, many like-minded people with whom
you can discuss the finer merits of the cur-
rent and proposed funding system.
The Students’ Union, at the time of going
to press, is intending to send a coach-full of
students up to London to participate in the
march, which will be held on Wednesday,
4th December, and it is up to you to decide
whether you would like to be a part of this
or not. The NUS believes that this march
could really make a difference to funding,
especially when considering this now infa-
mous government white paper concerning
the future of HE funding.
Though it is a little off topic, it would be
a crime not to mention anything about the
awards that GU2 and we have won. ADmit-
tedly, a lot has been said already, so all that
remains to say is that if you want to come
and help maintain the best student media in
teh country, you know where we are.
Just in case you didn’t see it on the front page, here is taht “Best Student Radio Station” Award GU2 won.
Fireman Sam isn’t so friendly now
a bit of turkey and lots of chocolate.
Fear not, though, for barefacts is here to SO THE GOOD folk from seems like asking the traffic
keep you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. the fire service finally wardens to stand in for the
Next week, in order to combat some of made good their threat and police if they were to strike.
those demands on your time, there will be a walked out for two days last The fire brigade of course
bumper, fun-packed edition, forgoing some week. They would like a know this, and realise that
of the usual stuff we bring you in order to 40% pay rise, instead of the the government will be keen
make way for crosswords, bigger lyrics 11% which they have been to settle before the voting
quizzes, kriss kross puzzles and generally offered, and since no-one public become too jittery.
lots of fun things to whittle away those will give it to them, its time The problem is that they’re
hours. It is not much, but it is a declaration to man the picket line. What PAUL CANNING all at it. Post office workers,
of care, at least. seems strange is that the fire train drivers, tube drivers,
service is even allowed to go some college lecturers and
“All that money must leave
on strike anyway. The police county court clerks to name
some for us; we’ve been
aren’t allowed to strike; an
independent review body,
underpaid for years, where’s
my slice of the pie?”
but a few. We could be
looking at another winter of
which both the government discontent not seen since the
and the police federation labour government of 79. The
AUTHOR
agree to abide by, decides their pay annually. problem arises from the chancellors new
This is because they are an essential public plan to expand government spending; taxes
Do you have a complaint against service which if withdrawn would lead to have been on the rise for the last 5 years,
this newspaper? chaos; sounds familiar? and the national insurance rises coming
The other curiosity about the fire service along in April will leave him a nice pot of
If you have a complaint about any item in this strike is that there are no shortages of people money to try and improve public services.
newspaper which contains inaccuracy, harassment, willing to do the job. As with jobs driving Unfortunately, many public service workers
intrusion or discrimination write to our editor about
it.
tube trains in London, for every position that who spent a great number of years under the
becomes available, dozens of people apply. conservatives on unspectacular wages have
If you remain dissatisfied please contact the
Press Complaints Commission - an independant The usual indicator of a job that does not suddenly seen pound signs ring up in front
organisation established to uphold an editorial Code command the correct salary is a dearth of of their eyes.
of Practice for the Press. This newspaper will abide
by their decision.
applicants. This is why we see nationwide Ker-ching! Yes, all that money they’re
shortages of teachers, nurses and police bringing in must leave some for us; we’ve
Press Complaints Commission officers, if people aren’t happy to do the job been underpaid for years, where’s my slice
1 Salisbury Square for the money on offer, they won’t do it. of the pie?
London EC4Y 8JB
Credit is due to the good folk of the armed Well, sorry folks, most people would
Telephone: 020 7353 1248
Facsimile: 020 7353 8351 forces who turned out in force with vehicles climb over their own mother to get an 11%
old enough for a vintage car rally, but there pay rise, there simply is not a magical pot
is no way you can perform the same duties of money for all of these inflation busting
Printed by South West Wales Publications
Adelaide Street, Swansea as the fire service when you’ve spent the payouts.
Tel: 01792 510000 last year as a peacekeeper in Bosnia. It barefacts@ussu.co.uk
21 November 2002 COMMENT 9

The nights have drawn in on the student-folk at UniS

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, it’s week to its credit, doesn’t have a Beauty of Creation, when all death has immortalised many an artist. Just
eleven. Congratulations for making it this unified political stance so it BEN SUPPER you want to do is to drown imagine if Michael Jackson had gone a little
far. Undergraduates elsewhere will already doesn’t really matter). You your housemate in the lake, more loopy than he did, and threw himself
be on holiday. The concept of week eleven see the same old faces rotated You will find that all but suspend her cadaver from the off a building thirteen years ago. Not only
will hold no more reality for them than any every day between lectures, your most complicated geodesic dome as a warning would he be a martyr to fame, but he would
other hideous, nightmarish vision. home, and Chancellors, friends have begun to evolve to other transgressors, and be remembered as undoubtedly one of the
For us, though, the fun is just beginning. looking increasingly strained. ‘coping strategies’ then go home and see your greatest musicians and performers who ever
Difficult to believe, I know, as one of your People who ought to know parents. lived. Now we’ve got to live with some
housemates saps your life from your veins better have started behaving very oddly. You This brings us neatly to Depressives, who dodgy embarrassing bleached neurotic
by going on and on and on about how will find that all but your most complicated will argue that although Happies have a recluse of our own creation, dribbling out
much coursework she has, how useless her friends have begun to evolve ‘coping point, they’re just deluding themselves. music which sounds like a soundtrack from
boyfriend is even if he’s much better in strategies’. More passive than the Happies, they will a Globalcorp advertisement. So passes glory
bed than her last one, and how her parents I have discovered that this usually involves willingly discuss philosophies of life with in the world.
should have phoned by now. But it’s really sticking fast to one of three outlooks on them in Chancellors, and neither side will Introverts, like the computer in the film
true that the fun is just beginning, even as life. There’s nothing very researched win. The Depressive will state ‘we are all War Games, realise that the only winning
her babble takes you a million miles from about this, and there doesn’t need to be. stuck in the quicksand, clinging to one move is not to play. They will go home to
the concept of ‘fun’ as surely as the chilli Real psychologists have a history of just another to survive. The higher you rise, the study. They will go home to socialise. They
con carne she made last making it all up as they deeper you have had to push me.’ And that, will go home to rest. They’ve probably
week still sits inside “Which word ending go along, and some of of course, is the trump card. You can never got a long-term partner with whom to
your saucepan upon the them get paid a fortune argue with a Depressive. You’ll just learn argue cathartically so they don’t need you.
in ʻ-cideʼ would
hotplate, growing hair for it. Well, anyway, that the world is a savage, destructive one, (Incidentally, most relationship agreements
and looking more like end your misery I’ve been busy sorting populated by profoundly lonely souls who can be solved as soon as you remember
a cow again with every in the way that people into three types: may express themselves sincerely only via that the woman is always right. However,
crawling hour. is most humane and Happies, Depressives, and aggressive or physical means. Leave them this makes the dynamics of a homosexual
Well, grab a corner Introverts. alone; no matter what you do, you’ll only be relationship utterly mystifying to me).
of your conscious most beneficial to Happies maintain a proving them right. Introverts are just as likely to be closet
mind back from this society?” sunny, sanguine attitude If you’re lucky, you’ll come across Happies as they are to be closet Depressives.
ghastly apparition for whatever happens, and somebody who oscillates unpredictably It’s no easy journey either way. With
thirty seconds, clumsily finger an all-too- remain quietly supercilious about it all. between Happy and Depressive states of everyone wearing their personalities on their
inadequate kitchen knife, and wonder Smiling, joking, laughing, and squeaking is being, and these people, who weave the sleeves, the best solution (in true Edward de
which word ending in ‘cide’ would end your their modus operandi. Their mantra is ‘You richest and most random tapestries of life, Bono style) is to think ‘outside the box’ and
misery in the way that is most humane and love it really. You might as well enjoy it’. are truly blessed. The depth, honesty, and go temporarily insane.
most beneficial to society. It’s week eleven; They’re a pleasure to be with if you’re in the utter transience of their feelings combine to Anyway, that’s all for this week. The golden
the weather is dismal; you deserve it. mood, but like all evangelists they’re a real produce the world’s richest art and music, weathervane atop the cathedral is sending
It is invariably this time of year that sorts the pain in the arse when you’re not. You’ll hear make them impossible to live with, and out bad brain waves and manipulating my
men from the boys. (I strove for a less sexist nothing but platitudes and an unrestrained then they go mad and shoot themselves. mind, so I’ve got to go and chain myself to
metaphor but then realised that this paper, delight and an all-purpose revelling in the No shame in that, incidentally: an early an oven and read the Book of Numbers.

Another viewpoint on the firefighters demands: practise what you preach

I’VE REALLY GOT to try not
to be flippant here – it’s all too
easy to just say the firemen did
a brilliant job at striking at the
expense of 7 lives. But I must
be slightly fair, even if I can’t
manage unbiased and objective.
To be frank, 40% is ridiculous. I’m
sure they did look at the level of
skill that they have, see that it is
in the top bracket and consider a
£30k wage to be fair, but honestly.
This isn’t the private sector, this
is government – complete with
housing allowances, tax breaks,
decent pension (when the rest
of the country’s pensions are a-
whirling down the huge plughole
that has appeared), widow and
child pension, bonuses and London
weighting. Talking of London
weighting, as the Deputy Prime
Minister said in his speech to the
House of Commons on the 14th: “at
present a qualified firefighter earns
£21,500 a year. Under this offer
[4% and 7%]:
• A qualified firefighter could earn
£23,960 a year
• A leading firefighter could earn
£25,656 a year
And in London, where London
weighting allowances apply:
• A qualified firefighter could earn
£28,268 a year
• A leading firefighter could
earn £29,964 a year – just a few
pounds short of the £30,000 a year
demanded by the FBU”
Now you can obviously see the
problem the firefighters are faced
with here, they are being offered
a huge pay increase and they need
to justify more strikes, so they
complain at the strings attached.
No-one likes strings attached,
but then few get the chance to
take more money in recompense.
I work at the National Physical
Laboratory, and new standards turn
up continuously. DTI contracts get
tougher, the telecommunications
industry gets more tight-walleted,
but are we offered better pay for
these problems? In every business
across the country, management
progressively tighten expenditure,
improve ‘efficiency’, and in the
process make people’s lives more
difficult. Some people do work
for the love of the job – to point to
researchers and musicians as cases
in point, these are some of the most
skilled people and most highly
qualified. If they campaigned for
salaries proportionate to their
skill level universities could only
afford 2/3rds of the current staff
PHILIP HOWARD
“If researchers campaigned
for salaries proportionate
to their skill level,
universities could only
afford 2/3rds of the
current staff levels.”
levels. Most research scientists
are doctors in their field, and many
have more than 2 degrees. Music
students spend their childhood in
schooling and undertaking exams.
How much commitment to their
jobs are these firefighters showing
by walking away from the offer
the government has made? By
all means strike to be heard, but
surely if they just took the raise the
government is going to be more
amenable to dealing with them in
the future?
Let us look at the consequences
of raising the salaries to £30k
without strings or argument. The
government is seen as a pushover,
a free money machine for
public servants. By far the most
expensive part of any company
or department is the staff, and if
these costs suddenly rise by 40%,
we would see a choice appearing
before the government. One route
to get costs back to manageable
levels would be to sack vast
numbers of staff. This would be
both harmful to the departments
and reduce the chance of these
people getting a job as a huge
influx of ex-civil servants arrived
on the job market. Alternatively
the government could raise taxes –
to cope with a 40% costs increase
would mean a huge tax increase,
hitting the middle classes and
pushing the boundaries lower into
working class territory. So you see
if the government does offer the
FBU an even better offer, it must
be attached to reform and change.
That is enough to make civil
servants consider more carefully
how much they want a wage
increase, and deter them from the
kind of action the firefighters are
taking. But the actual firefighting
itself is not the only problem. Yes,
we aren’t as safe when they are
striking, but also we lose most
of the tube services as well – the
indirect losses are likely to be
orders of magnitude higher than
the cost the firefighters suggest.
So do I have anything nice to
say about the firefighters? Well
yes, I have to say they did stop
protesting to help people nearby.
And they do deserve a decent rate
of pay, but they have to accept that
this is one of those jobs where love
for the job and a good pension
have to be recompense enough,
and an offer of 4% and 7% is
very high indeed. The thing that
most riles me about it all is not the
initial demand, or the continuation
of the strikes, but the walking
away from the negotiating table
with a deal like that on the cards.
To just walk away shows complete
disrespect for the government and
the ministers responsible – at a
guess they’ve had to come up with
the best they can reasonably afford
just to resolve the situation quickly,
only to have the FBU just overturn
the dinner plates like a spoilt child.
We need the firefighters to listen
and accept a deal before the fire
they started begins to spread out
of control. What is it they say on
the adverts? Never play with fire.
Practise. What. You. Preach.
10 UNION 21 November 2002

Safety issues around campus -

plans for the future
Hello All. Well, I took your
advice and thought I’d do
something productive about
fittings should be going up
there (e.g.facing up the path
towards Clandon).
M oney
atters
THIS WEEK WE TAKE A LOOK AT TAX AND HOW
IT AFFECTS THE WORKING STUDENT:
the safety issues around [b] When Bank Residences are
here. First, there will be a finished, the shrubbery behind The main point to remember here is that you shouldn’t
free Aikido workshop taken UniSport will come down. be paying unnecessary tax. Students who work during
by qualified instructor, Ed [c] CCTV will go up by the holidays and do not expect to earn more than their tax-free personal allowance (which
Griffiths. This is how he UniSport entrance as soon as is £4615 for 2002-2003) should ask their employer to complete form P38(S) which means
described the session. possible. that their wages will be paid gross.
“What we normally teach at
TONI BORNEO [d] The large area of shrubbery Students who work during the term-time as well as holidays, though, cannot have their tax
VICE PRESIDENT EDUCATION
these self-defence courses is next to the path behind Surrey paid gross.
AND WELFARE
a combination of awareness Court will be replaced with a If you have already worked you should have form P45, which you should then give to
when walking etc (how not to couple of small trees. The area your new employer. Otherwise, your new employer will give you a form P46 to complete.
get attacked), what to expect in an attack and behind will no longer be concealed. If you need further information regarding these issues, leaflet IR60 on the Inland
then what you can do to stop it. The benefit [e] Spring 2003 – shrubs between Stag Hill Revenue’s website (www.inlandrevenue.gov.uk) has more details on income tax and
of this school of Aikido in particular is that reception and Union building to be replaced students.
Ray (the other instructor) has spent 25 years with a lit footpath up the hill towards Surrey A representative from the Inland Revenue locally holds a tax clinic about once a month
or more studying pressure points - these are Court. This is part of major alterations of the in the Union. For more details about this, contact SAIS, the Union, or look in the notices
basically weak points on the human body, area and access road and lighting will form section of barefacts.
which cause pain or discomfort and deter part of the scheme. Don’t forget, if you need further advice about other financial or welfare issues, then the
or stop any further attack. They work on [f] Relamping of existing lights at Wates Student Advice & Information Service is here to help you.
everybody and don’t require strength to use, House and Mole, Surrey Court and on the
meaning that we can teach a small person to other side of the pedestrian crossing by Student Advice& Information Service (SAIS): Wey Flat 2 | Surrey Court
deal with a much bigger person. As we go UniSport will be carried out immediately. t: [68]9261 | e: student-advice@surrey.ac.uk
through everyone will be able to pair up and Ideally, we’d all like to have CCTV cameras
try the techniques out while we help, so it around, but they are actually a few thousand
should allow everybody to get a good idea pounds a go, so if that kind of money ever
of what you can do.” becomes available, it will be considered.
So – if you turn up with your student card And, of course, we’re all concerned about the
Volunteering opportunities update
to the Dance Studio in the Sports Hall, you Tesco Underpass area. Apparently, a reliable
Things at V have been pretty hectic recently drop in centre), Guildford Club For The
can take part in the class and get a free source at Surrey Police has promised to have
so I just thought that I would tell you what’s Disabled, Hydon Hill Cheshire Home (a
personal alarm (thanks to UniS Security). a Mobile Camera put up at the entrance by
been going on and also what V has got residential home for people with learning
All non-students will be required to pay the Christmas. I’ll be checking up on that….(oh
planned coming to Christmas. disabilities), Scouts, Nightline, Disability
usual price and a further £1 for the alarm. – I’ve just had an e-mail to say that plans are
Well we now have over 120 people Challengers and loads more.
Remember: 3-5pm Sunday 1st December, really underway and although technicalities
involved in V which is absolutely fantastic If you don’t fancy doing anything on a
UniS Dance Studio. are being worked out – this will be going
but where are the rest of you? Come on the regular basis then what about the A Team?
I have also just returned from a Night Walk ahead as soon as possible).
benefits of getting involved are endless but This group of one off volunteers are going
around campus with Tony Watling (Head So, I hope this information helpful. If
here are just a few to start you off! to be running a Xmas shopping trip for a
of Security), Mr Jitendra Kakad (Electric anyone has any realistic ideas about how to
meeting new people, learning skills, having local social group for disabled people. They
Engineering, Estates and Buildings) and Mr improve safety around here, Tony Watling
fun, learning about your local area, feeling are also going to be organisising a food
Nigel Hodge (Horticultural and Landscapes has requested that suggestions come through
alive, receiving a Student Union certificate collection and soup kitchen for homeless
Manager, Estates and Buildings). Our aim the Union. So, let me know if you think
and a big celebration party at the end of the people in Guildford to help when the
was to visit all the scary places on campus we’ve missed something.
year cold nights start drawing in. Then after
and think of a feasible way for them to be In the meantime, just try where possible to
V is run for the benefits of both students Christmas there are going to be loads of A
improved. UniS do want to protect students, keep yourself out of vulnerable situations. If
and staff and is here to offer you new and Team events from helping to brighten up run
so please remember that if the results aren’t you can take a bus instead of walk through
fun ways to make a difference to local down buildings in London to Battle of The
delivered immediately, they are working on the underpass, or wait for friends to walk
community and we are positive that we have Bands, a huge music competition for local
it. Here is a run down of the plans: with you, or save a few pounds at night to
something that you will enjoy! school children.
[a] June 2003 – path from UniSport end take a taxi back from the Union, it all helps.
There are over 30 different V opportunities INTERESTED? IF SO THEN COME
past Guildford Court, and along between If you are truly stuck on campus, for better
in the community and they are desperate for ALONG TO THE STUDENTS UNION
PATS and Southern Counties Radio to be reasons than being drunk at 2am on a Friday
your help with sports, outings, teaching, & FIND ALLI CUMMINGS, THE
widened to cycle path width and lit properly. night, give Security a call and see if they can
arts & crafts, driving, playing, marketing STUDENT SUPPORT & OUTREACH
In the meantime, a couple of temporary light help.
& advertising – infact they need any kind CO-ORDINATOR OR EMAIL
of help you can imagine. We already have A.CUMMINGS@SURREY.AC.UK
students helping at a Guildford Action (a

Lebanese Dinner 2002

The Lebanese Students Society will be
holding their first grand social event of the
year, a Lebanese Dinner and Evening to
be held in Roots Cafe Bar on Saturday 23rd
November starting at 6.30pm. This will be
a chance to feast upon the world famous
cuisine of Lebanon whilst experiencing the
warm hospitality of Lebanese culture. A
Lebanese meal is never just a meal!
If you want to take up this opportunity
to enjoy a healthy and diverse Lebanese
dinner and a great atmosphere, please email
lebanesesociety@hotmail.com for further
information and tickets, as advance booking
is required.
‘Ahlan wa sahlan’ – Welcome. We hope to
see many of you there.
 EXCLUSIVE COMPETITION
barearts grabs a quick as if one hadn’t been
chat with Clare Buck- enough, we are offer-
field - that wee lass ing another chance to
who used to be even win a mobile phone.
littler on 2.4 children aren’t we nice?

James Bond returns to Die CLASSIC OF THE WEEK

Another Day in latest film
With the premiere on Monday, barefacts was unable
to review the latest Bond movie for this issue -
however, below is a short preview of one of the most
eagerly anticipated films this year.
For a full review see next week’s barefacts.
Die Another Day opens around the country on Friday.
The latest James Bond film was shot proportions. On his way, he crosses paths
on a series of exotic locations, including with the beautiful Jinx and Miranda
Iceland, Hawaii and Norway, and boasts the Frost, women become further entwined
requisite array of dazzling gadgets, among in his latest adventure. Hot on the trail of
them a customised surfboard. A high-speed deadly megalomaniac, Gustav Graves and
hovercraft chase through a minefield in the his ruthless right-hand man Zao, Bond
demilitarised zone separating North and travels to Iceland into the villain’s lair, a
South Korea, marks the beginning of James fantastic palace built entirely of ice. There
Bond embarking upon his latest mission. he experiences, firsthand, the power of a
From Hong Kong to Cuba to London, 007 high-tech weapon. Ultimately, this leads to
circles the world in his quest to unmask a an explosive confrontation back in Korea,
traitor, and prevent a war of catastrophic where the mission began.
The Omen
Here is Wisdom. Let him that hath
understanding count the number of the
beast: for it is the number of a man; and
his number is 666.” - Book of Revelation,
Chapter 13, Verse 18
Faith. God. Jesus Christ. Church. The
Cross. Believer or not, you can’t watch
The Omen and pretend that this movie
didn’t affect you. Just like ghost movies,
this is just so... possible. Even if you’re
a complete atheist or like me, respect but
don’t care about religion, this film will
disturb you. The Omen is an extremely well
made movie and nothing is exaggerated
beyond the limits of plausibility. This is
why The Omen strikes a nerve and will
chill the hell out of you for nearly two
hours. Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn,
a wealthy politician and Lee Remick is his
wife, Kathy. Kathy is pregnant but after the
baby is born it dies before the mother can
see it. Knowing the
shock that Kathy
will receive Robert
convinces the
Roman Church to
allow them to take
an orphaned child
as their own. The
child was born at the
same time and day
so all would be well.
They name their
words: stew fudge
5 years later while Robert is U.S.
Ambassador to Great Britain the child’s
past starts to come to life. Their first nanny
decides to hang herself at Damien’s 5th
birthday party. Thereafter a Father Brannen,
visits the Thorn’s to tell them that the child
they adopted was the son of the Devil.
Thorn doesn’t believe him and tries to go
on with his life. A new nanny is brought
in, Mrs. Baylock, and Damien seems to
take an immediate liking to her. After this
we see incidents of Damien and his fear of
places. On the way to church he kicks and
screams and forces his parents to abandon
that habit. At the Zoo, the baboons attack
him. You get the picture. The Omen is not
loaded with special effects. It relies on good
acting, powerful music and our unconscious
fears. What if the devil really exists? Isn’t
it possible that his
son would come to
earth just like Jesus
Christ apparently
did? Incidentally
did you know that
the church that
Damien has a fit
about going into is
none other than our
very own Guildford
Cathedral?

:
child, Damien.

DIRECTOR’S CUT JAMES CAMERON

James “Iron Jim” Cameron was born in Kapuskasing,
Ontario, Canada in 1954. He grew up in Chippawa near
Niagara Falls and the family moved to the USA in 1971.
His mother was an Artist and his father an electronic
engineer, and both the scientific and artistic disciplines
obviously influenced his film-making. In high school he
1977, and Cameron saw “Star Wars”. It was exactly the
kind of movie he envisioned himself making after seeing
“2001”, and it rekindled his desire to make movies and
reach for his dreams. He landed his first professional
film job as art director, miniature-set builder and process
projection supervisor on Roger Corman’s “Battle Beyond
words: jolyon hunter
and he ended up producing, directing and editing the film,
visiting the wreck of the Titanic 12 times himself. Due to
its spiralling costs, Cameron even forfeited his fees for
everything except the $1.5million for the screenplay. When
terminator

wrote sci-fi stories, and fantasized instead of doing his
homework. A short story he wrote in Biology class later
became “The Abyss”.
He was also an avid reader of sci-fi, and saw Stanley
Kubrick’s visionary masterpiece “2001: A Space Odyssey”
when he was 15 years old. This was the hook for the young
Cameron, and he became fascinated with the whole motion
picture industry. Cameron proceeded to watch that movie
more than ten times in quick succession, and is quoted
as saying that he knew he wanted to be a filmmaker after
the Stars” (1980) and made his feature-length directorial
debut with “Piranha II: The Spawning” (1981).
In 1984 he wrote and directed “The Terminator” (1984),
the blockbuster futuristic action-thriller starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton. The
film was an international success and helped launch his,
and Schwarzenegger’s careers in Hollywood. He followed
it up with a string of successful science-fiction action
films such as “Aliens”(1986), “The Abyss” (1989), and the
sequel to The Terminator, “Terminator 2: Judgement Day”
it was released, Titanic took more than $25 million dollars
in its first weekend and has gone on to be the biggest film
of all time, taking more than $1 billion worldwide and
winning a record eleven Oscars. I’m sure he got paid in the
end.
Since the runaway success of “Titanic”, Cameron has not
directed a motion picture, but has been active in creating
successful television series – namely the Fox network hit
“Dark Angel” starring Jessica Alba (available on Sky One
over here). James Cameron is currently rumoured to be

titanic
seeing it. However, he never truly believed e could succeed
and eventually majored in Physics at California State
University at Fullerton. He got good grades but realized
that science was not something he was interested enough
in. Switching to English Literature for a while did not
help, and Cameron realized he would not be happy either
way. He dropped out and took several jobs including truck
driving, school bus driving and painting, and he continued
to write at night.
(1991). This led to him becoming one of the most sought-
after directors in Hollywood. His next movie, also starring
Schwarzenegger, was “True Lies” (1994). Buffy fans keep
a look out for an early appearance by Eliza Dushku (a.k.a.
Faith) as Harry Tasker’s daughter.
Terminator 2 turned out to be the most expensive film ever
made, but Cameron went one better with his next picture
– the aptly named “Titanic” (1997) starring Leonardo di
Caprio and Kate Winslet. This became his own pet project
working on “Avatar” – a revolutionary project where he
intends to cast completely digitally created actors. The third
instalment in the Terminator franchise is also in production,
but without Cameron involved unfortunately. The film is set
to star Schwarzenegger, Claire Danes (“Romeo and Juliet”)
and Kristana Loken. The film pits Arnie and John Connor
(played by Nick Stahl) against a female Terminator (Loken)
shortly before SkyNet goes live. Let’s hope it’s better than
it sounds eh…
16 LITERATURE 21 November 2002

LITERATURE
The literature columns will be
taking a major revamp over the

“LOVE seeketh not Itself to please,

next few weeks as I introduce
new sections (easy reading is
at the top of the list) and the
possibility of a short story
competition. I will be holding
Nor for itself hath any care;
a short informal meeting for all
those interested in contributing But for another gives its ease,
HEAVEN in Hells despair.”
to the Barefacts literature section
in the next two weeks, so watch
this space. If you want to send
And builds a
something in, same address
– cs21cw@surrey.ac.uk

Chris Ward | Literature Editor

you ?
modern prose | enduring love | ian mcewan
“Dear Joe, I’m really sorry about our row. I’m not being sardonic – I really

you a story
mean it, I genuinely regret it. We always prided ourselves on being able to
get by without the occasional fights that other couples told us were necessary

“I always
and therapeutic. I hated it last
night. I hated being angry,
and I was scared by your

thought our
anger. But it’s there now,

that ?
it can’t be unsaid. You said
again and again that I owe you
would
love was the
a profound apology for not
standing with you ‘shoulder to
shoulder’ against Jed Parry, for

kind that
doubting your sanity, for not
having faith in your powers of
rationality and deduction and

was meant
your dedicated research into BAREFACTS SHORT STORY COMPETITION
his condition… …Our sex life

to go on and
dwindled to almost nothing. I barefacts is going to run a short-story competition next semester. Running over six
don’t want to go on about it, weeks of the spring semester’s publications, we will see if there is any writing talent at
but your ransacking my desk this remarkably science-based university. The top six entries will each have their work

on. Perhaps
was a terrible betrayal. What published in barefacts and a winner will be picked from those “short-listed” entrants.
reason had I given you to be The judges are yet to be confirmed, but will have some idea of what they are talking
jealous? As the Parry thing about. We hope.

it will.”
grew I watched you go deeper If you are interested in entering the competition and would like more details, then please
into yourself and further and e-mail either Chris Ward [cs21cw@surrey.ac.uk] or Rich Watts [comms@ussu.co.uk]
further away from me.” who will be only too pleased to help you along with things such as word limits and
Enduring Love is a powerful suggested topics.
account of how certain situations can damage a relationship or love for Alternatively, if you think this is a rubbish idea or you just didn’t understand that funny
another person, but it is also an account of how these obstacles can be sentance above this grey box, then let us know:
overcome with optimism and effort. The obsessive Jed Parry became Joe’s
fears in his relationship, and these fears were nurtured as Joe distanced barefacts@ussu.co.uk
himself from Clarissa. Ironically, he was trying to save his relationship and
to save Clarissa, but the opposite occurred. If you don’ tell us, we will never know.
In the above extract, it is clear that a lot of damage has been done to Joe
and Clarissa’s relationship. At the end of the letter, she tells Joe that she
needs some time to think things over, and although this is a
pessimistic action, her final words are quite optimistic.
“I always thought our love was the kind that was
All you need is love?
meant to go on and on. Perhaps it will. I just don’t Those of you who read get to see. The reason for adopting within the book. However, this does
know” this column regularly this format is simply because I want not mean that the book contains
Maybe this is the true meaning of “enduring love”. will realise that I have to emphasise the universality and every element of a concept, it merely
In love we have to endure many obstacles in order to keep reviewed exactly the same ambiguity of every good piece of means that a book contains enough
the love enduring. Both the negative and the positive prose novel as last week. literature. There is always more than elements for people to associate with
go hand in hand. Keeping a healthy balance You will also notice one side of the coin, and this is what and appreciate. Very few novelists
between the two allows you to appreciate the the quote at the top makes literary material withstand the achieve this effect, and some
good things. Is love always negative? Does it of the page being test of time. shouldn’t even try (*cough* Jeffrey
always end in tears? Is “true love” a mere slightly different. Many people make the mistake Archer *cough*); but those that do
cliché? These are questions that only the It too was written of believing that a novel can boast can produce not just a story, but a
individual can answer, and I can assure by William Blake, every part of a concept such as philosophical and moralistic lesson
you that everybody will have a totally but it offers an entirely love. Their reasoning for this is for those who read it.
different thing to say about such a wide and different perspective on love. This is that everybody can associate with at
universal topic. a perspective that some people do not least one element of the issues raised barefacts@ussu.co.uk
21 November 2002
Exclusive: an interview with Clare Buckfield
Jenny Porter in 2.4 Children, Natasha in
Grange Hill, and now Lucy in Moment
of Weakness at the Yvonne Arnaud in
Guildford. Suffering from a cold and in the
middle of hectic rehearsals, Clare kindly
granted us an interview during her lunch
break.
For Clare, acting started off as a part-
time hobby when she was nine years
old. Following her sister Julia (currently
playing Julie in Hollyoaks) landing a part
in BBC’s Grange Hill, the twins began
to take it more seriously, enrolling at the
Sylvia Young Theatre School. Clare took
to theatre school like a duck to water, “I
really loved it”. When asked if there was
any rivalry between her and her sister, she
replied “there’s no maliciousness between
us. If both of us go for the same part, if
one of us gets it, we’re happy. In fact, it’s
a bonus having someone whom you are
close to in the business, for support and for
learning scripts!”
On her character in the play she says,
“Lucy is a fun character, in her early 20’s,
whose parents have split up. She schemes,
in a nice way, to get them back together.
She’s a happy go lucky person, mature
for her age, who gets on well with her
father with whom she lives”. On working
with Gwen Taylor and Michael Jayston,
who have a wealth of theatre experience
between them, has been a fantastic learning
experience “I’m always learning with
them”.
I asked Clare if she enjoys theatre work
more than television, as she has recently
been starring more in the theatre, having
starred in the West End musical Summer
Holiday with Darren Day earlier this
year. “I enjoy the theatre more, the
instant reaction. You’re under much more
pressure. It’s hard work, but I like hard
work, and it’s so rewarding and fulfilling.
But I do love the TV. I wouldn’t be doing
the theatre, if not for the TV work. And
part of the great thing of this profession is
the variety of thing there are to do.”
THEATRE
interview: rachael bemrose
We generally think of actors being
ambitious and somewhat egotistical, so
what ambitions does Clare have and who
does she look up to? “I would love to play
Juliet, but I’m not getting any younger, so
I’d better get on with it! I’d love to do it
at the National, but would probably prefer
to try Juliet on a smaller stage first before
braving the National. I really admire Alan
Rickman; I’ve followed his career ever
since I first saw him. And Juliet Stevenson,
I love Truly, Madly, Deeply in which they
starred together: I really love that film”.
On going out with the lovely Ant
McPartlin, she says, “it’s lovely”. And
when I ask her about the showbiz parties,
she disappointingly says “we don’t go to
all of them, just the big ones,” stating that
she and Ant are more “Pie and pub people,
who’d rather stay at home with a take
away, bottle of wine and a good video”.
Though she does add “the parties are really
enjoyable, really good fun – especially if
they win something!” And defies anyone
who says that they aren’t! Yet despite
this love of a good, glitzy night out, Clare
insists they are not a celebrity couple,
and that there will definitely be no Hello!
Mag open house spread in the near future!
Clare can be seen next week in Moment of
Weakness at Guildford’s Yvonne Arnaud
theatre: see preview for ticket information.
17
COMPETITION[S]
A truly pitiful display from you all last week with the competition - makes me wonder if
anyone is actually reading this newspaper or not. Who can say? I receive the odd e-mail
saying “don’t get rid of the interactive section” but not so
much as a peep with regard to the competitions. What can
you do?
Well, you can offer people a free mobile phone handset,
providing they can answer a simple question. You see,
to celebrate the fact that the Union has started selling
international calling phonecards (from front reception),
barefacts has decided, thanks to Primus, to give away
a T200 Sony Ericsson phone. Now, I’m not going to
go into the finer details of why it is probably better for
you to not win this prize, because [a] you won’t agree
with me and [b] you won’t even listen, so instead I’ll
just say it is worth a sack load of money and is very
nice indeed (to look at, that is).
Anyway, you probably don’t really care, so I’ll just get
on with the question - the competition will run for one
week only, because next week is the last printed edition
of barefacts for the calendar year.
The question is this:
what denomination of phonecard can you now buy from
the students’ union?
is it [a] £5; [b] £ 7.24; [c] 35,682pts?
A bit of common sense should get you a long way with
that one - not particularly challenging, I think. Anyway, the
usual rules apply, which means that Alan cannot win, I certainly cannot win and the only
person who can has to be a student who is currently studying a registered course at the
University of Surrey. My girlfriend’s decision is final and therefore what she says, goes.
E-mail your answers to barefacts@ussu.co.uk and cross your fingers instead of revising
for anything, including Who Wants to be a Millionnaire.

Preview
MOMENT OF WEAKNESS
Is it True Love or just a Moment of
Weakness? This brilliantly crafted and
hugely entertaining play, Donald Churchill
introduces us to the trials and tribulations of
Tony (Michael Jayston) and Audrey (Gwen
Taylor), a divorced couple who meet at
their country cottage after three years apart.
Sparks, sarcasm and witticisms fly, as old
wounds are opened and forgotten memories
stirred. But then their lively journalist
daughter Lucy (Clare Buckfield) arrives
and provokes an unexpected chain of
events.
This has all the making of a brilliant night
out! The cast includes faces that you’ll all
recognise. Gwen Taylor is one of Britain’s
leading actors, known for her television
roles including the title role in ‘Barbara’
and ‘Class Act’ with Joanna Lumley. Her
theatre credits include ‘Picasso’s Women’
with Jerry Hall and the title role in ‘Shirley
Valentine’. Her most quoted role to date is
that of Mrs Bignose in the ‘Life of Brian’.
Michael Jayston’s television credits
include ‘Eastenders’ and ‘Dancing at
Lughnasa’ and films such as ‘Zulu Down’
and ’20,000 Leagues Under the Sea’. Clare
Buckfield (see Exclusive! interview) is
best known for her television role as Jenny
Porter in the BBC comedy ‘2.4 Children’.
Make the effort! Get a ticket! And see
some well known TV faces performing
at your local theatre. The play runs from
Monday 25th – Saturday 30th November,
Mon–Thurs: 7.45pm; Fri-Sat: 8pm and
Mats on Thurs and Sat at 2.30pm. Student
standby tickets are available an hour before
the start of any performance priced at £7.
Tickets for the Thursday and Saturday
matinee performances are available priced
£7 from the box office (01483) 44 00 00.
For further information, see their website:
www.yvonne-arnaud.co.uk. rachael
bemrose
if you are interested in writing about or
reviewing theatre, then get in touch with
rachael bemrose at
sc92rb@surrey.ac.uk
18 MUSIC 21 November 2002

SINGLES
ANYWHERE
BETH ORTON | HEAVENLY RECORDINGS
After the success of Beth Orton’s latest
album ‘Daybreaker’ comes her latest single
‘Anywhere’. Four and a half minutes of
pop music that leaves you wondering why
you even bothered. Orton’s old material
JENNY FROM THE BLOCK
JENNIFER LOPEZ | EPIC

*
Luscious Lopez returns with her fist single off ‘This Is
Me? Then’ , soon to be released album. Catchy flute solo
gives it an old skool feel with
current pop vocals sum
ominous with this curvy
is by far better than ‘Anywhere’, the cutie. She’s not changed
trumpet introduction is something that the direction but when what
Lighthouse Family would be proud of. Her your doing is successful
voice is that of a professional, but her band why should she. Recent
doesn’t compliment her, she really needs to announcement of her
start looking through the classified sections latest engagement could
of music publications. Give this one a miss. cynically be said as well
three | s.b timed to whip up the media
to co – inside with her film
and album release. Jenny
From The Block is pure
Lopez and bound to
be another hit.
GURL NEXT DOOR six | m.b.
THE KEYS | BOOBTRAP RECORDS
If you ever get the erge to play
quality indie-pop at full blast, reach for The words by: alex read
Keys. Matthew Evans and Gwion Rowlands have created simon robinson
something special. The Keys are made up of the remains of Murry jon swarbrick | duncan hills
The Hump, the Too Pure act that got nowhere, this project was rightly matty b | anthos chrysanthou
abandoned to make way for The Keys. ‘Gurl Next Door ‘ is released anna wheeler | mark iyer
on Cardiff based Boobytrap records, the label which has been the driving force stuart bryce | nick dean
behind the fine indie scene that has appeared over recent years in the city. The
Keys are sure to play a Barfly near you soon. If you like Badly Drawn Boy, you’ll if you are interested in writing for the music
like the Keys! six point seven five | s.b team, then come along to the cd hand-out in
the media centre on mondays at 5pm

COCHISE
AUDIOSLAVE | EPIC
48 seconds in and cue universe-destroying
riff No.178 from the artists formerly known
as Rage against the Machine. But wait – ten
seconds later and suddenly we’re listening
to Led Zeppelin. When Chris Cornell’s
vocals come in for the first time, they
redefine this band. The hip-hop element of
RATM is absent on this single, and it lacks
the drive, the sheer momentum of what
we’re used to hearing. I concede that trying
to find a frontman who can spit fire like
Zack De La Rocha is almost impossible,
but by opting for a traditional rock singer
rather than a rapper, Audioslave (on
Cochise at least) miss that killer edge that
was a hallmark of RATM. six | a.c.
SEVENTEEN
LADYTRON | TELSTAR
Forgotten pioneers of the electro-clash movement
GETAWAY
THE MUSIC | GETAWAY
More trippy, spaced out wailing over fuzzy guitars from
Britain’s most annoyingly named band. The Music have
enjoyed a fast-track road to success and been paired with The
Coral as the future of Brit-rock, but on recent evidence The
Coral are more deserving of your time. Getaway is another
‘danceable’ rock anthem that makes all the right noises, but is
also quite forgettable, and can’t help sounding formulaic. In
short, this is not as good as last single Take the Long Road and
Walk it but still eminently preferable to a kick in the nadgers.
Which isn’t much of a recommendation now is it?
five | a.c.
STILL I DREAM OF IT/THE GHOSTS PARADE
ED HARCOURT | HEAVENLY RECORDINGS
Heavenly must be one of the strongest
record labels in Britain at the moment,
not only do they have The Vines, Doves
and Beth Orton signed to them, but they
also have Ed Harcourt. Harcourt is a man
able to produce works of art from nothing.

*
(there before the over hyped Fischerspooner were He can also produce art that really is not
poncing around on stage), Ladytron release their first single from worth displaying, like his version of Brian
their new album ‘Light & Magic’. The reason why they have Wilson’s ‘Still I Dream of It’. Harcourt
survived the over blown marketing and hype of electro-clash is IN THIS WORLD has done something really wrong here,
because they know how to make a great pop record. Yes there MOBY | MUTE RECORDS LTD he’s made the track sound ideally suited
is an analogue synth throughout and a Kraftwerk style ‘Moby’ released this new single on 4th November to for a Disney film. ‘The Ghost Parade’ is
androgyny but there is also dance pop coincide with his first UK Tour for nearly two years. 'In something completely different, Harcourt
sensibility that makes this This World', the follow up to ‘Extreme Ways’, is one of at his best, a progression from last years
as listenable the highlights from Moby's Number 1 album ‘18’, released critically acclaimed ‘Here Be Monsters’ and
as S Club earlier this year. ‘In This World’ is definitely nothing new sure to be a track to be chosen for his next
Juniors. from Richard Melville Hall, or ‘Moby’ as he is better known, LP. Covers are always risky to release, but
nine | s.r. but leaves you feeling satisfied. Look out for it on all the this one will sell for sure, get out there and
‘chillout’ compilations! purchase it quick if you’re a fan, there are
seven | n.d only 3000 copies in existence. five | s.b
21 November 2002
ALBUMS
HOME COOKING
TONY ALLEN | WRASSE RECORDS
With shades of dub, soul, funk and jazz,
this is a varied and really exciting album.
Tony Allen was formerly the influential
drummer with ‘Afrobeat’ and now is
heading out to do his own thing. And
it’s great. Opener ‘Every Season’ is the
first single to be taken from the album.
Featuring Damon Albarn on vocals, this is
causing excitement in clubs and the chilled
out beats combined with Damon’s lazy
vocals sound fantastic. Title track ‘Home
Cooking’ is another standout. It is really
funky, with Afro-Caribbean reggae guitars,
trumpets and 70s beats. “Let the master
drummer teach you the style.” Exactly.
This album is gracefully stylish and
effortlessly cool. eight | a.w.
MUSIC 19
GREATEST HITS
BJORK
The way in which this record has been
compiled lends it a level of quality
assurance seldom seen in your typical
greatest hits LP. A web vote was set up in
which fans were asked to choose the most
career defining and/or their favourite Bjork
songs. The result? A greatest hits package
consisting of a truly telling representation
of songs depicting the artist’s innovative
musical development (my words not
there’s). The fact that there are tracks from
a range of her solo albums rightly suggest
that her career has been long and successful
one. The usual if you’ve already got…blah,
blah, blah aside this record should inspire
even the casual Bjork fan to delve deeper
into her Icelandic catacombs in search of
more. The track listing includes Human
Behaviour, All Is Full Of Love (still sounds
as heartfelt as ever) and Venus As A Boy.
The uneducated will question where is that
‘oh so quiet one’? My response would be
unprintable in anything but an Irvine Welsh
novel. eight | a.r.
NU – FLOW
BIG BROVAZ | SONY
Nu – Flow is the new album from one of the U.K’s newest and most
promising R&B and hip hop acts around. Soulful female vocals take on
‘Outkast’ style rapping that intriguingly works. Current chart topping
single, Nu – Flow’s beat orientated choruses have flung Big Brovaz into
a welcomed limelight. This track shows that they’re able to balance
commercial elements along with urban creditability. Soul focused Baby
Baby is lush with piano and complimentary over rap makes it odds on
favourite as a follow single up to their first hit. The band are made up
of two producers and six rappers that have been together for four years
creating material for their first album release for big player Sony. The
combination of styles is perfectly balanced with the rap complimenting
the soul melodies rather than drown it out. Nu – Flow has the ability to
attract to the commercial market as well as R&B and Hip Hop fans that a
winning formula seven | m.b.
BRUSHFIRE FAIRYTALES
JACK JOHNSON | ISLAND RECORDS
Jack Johnson, son of surf legend Jeff Johnson releases soft rock /
folk influenced Brushfire Fairytales. Opener Inaudible melodies
are smooth with descriptive vocals and jolly guitar accompaniment.
Upbeat Middle Man sees rhythmical singing to the time of bongos
at a floating pace. Standout Flake has a bit of help from Jack’s hero,
Ben Harper on guitar to complete a heart felt offering. A softer upbeat
‘David Gray’ in the making shines with solo song writing. Laid back
rhythms have turned him into an instant hit in America and with
making accessible music has a chance to emulate this across the pond.
The expressive Fortunate Fool and drink the water happily sit along
other album tracks as demonstrating the roundness of the record.
seven | m.b.
20 GIGS 21 November 2002

He’s not particularly relevant nowadays,

but he still knows a good tune
RICHARD ASHCROFT
LONDON BRIXTON ACADEMY | 16 NOVEMBER
I walked into this one with only moderate expectations I’d
heard the solo stuff and was only slightly impressed with
the consistency of Ashcroft’s recent song writing. What I
got however was a most unusual live performance by any
standard. It was hugely representative of his solo albums
in the sense there were equal measures of brilliance and
mediocrity. Despite all this tittle tattle the gig still ranks
as one of the best I’ve been to all year (not that bold a
statement considering I saw Wheatus at The Civic!).
The thing is no one really cares when Richard gets a bit
pretentious with the lyrics, for every Nature Is the Law
there’s a Lucky Man to redress the balance. Surprisingly
the set kicked off with Sonnet, which took everyone back a
bit; not the greatest choice in my opinion The two-hour sell
out gig encompassed the best from the Verve days Lucky
Man, Sonnet and the scarily emotive The Drugs Don’t
Work all filtered in during the main set. The initially duller
new stuff does improve with more plays so it’s a bit harsh
to criticise at the moment. The rest of the main
set featured everything a discerning Ashcroft
fan could want, the epic Check The Meaning is
full of emotion and meaning if you excuse the
fish lyric. Science of Silence is great and a little
different to the usual fare. From the Alone With
Everybody record there were a number of tacks
that lit the Brixton fuse in spectacular fashion Richard
my favourite was New York the electric guitars Ashcroft:
are devastatingly effective. It was all a bit stop seemingly
start because there’s absolutely no middle ground can’t make
his mind up
with his songs. It seems they’re either fantastic between being
examples of melodic tunesmith or totally crap or being
irrelevant nonsense. With each record a few new amazing.
good songs are added to the pile of old good
ones – give him three more solo LPs and you’ll Symphony presumably ‘new’ to avoid paying the Stones
have an awesomely complete live show. At the any royalties (the strings were gone in favour of over egged
moment the quality is too mixed to be faultless. guitar). Perfect example of the mixed nature of this gig and
The encore included the classic Northern Soul Ashcroft in general. Shit, excellent, shit, excellent, shit etc.
era History which is still up there with his best. Not sure how relevant he is these days (well I am: he isn’t)
We also got a new version of Bitter Sweet but for a night out on the lash you can’t knock it. alex read

NIGHTMARES ON WAX
THE BRIGHTON DOME | 14TH NOVEMBER
When Nightmares on Wax (NoW) released
their first album in 1991, it was created
using mainly samples and incredibly fast
rapping. Started and run by George Evelyn
aka EASE, a DJ from Leeds, NoW have
now made a name for themselves for
bringing the soul back to hip hop. Their
1995 album ‘Smokers Delight’ featured
beautiful music with a funky beat, and the
albums that followed developed on this.
As soon as we entered the Brighton Dome,
a rather new venue, with standing and
seating sections, we were met with signs,
‘As a result of the Fire Brigade Strike, no
smoking is permitted in any part of the
building.’ Smokers delight? Outside maybe.
This however did not stop anyone from
having a fantastic night.
On hearing the opening chords of ‘Les
Nuits’, one of NoW’s most famous song,
a very hip Brighton crowd were on their
feet and dancing until the end. The first
twenty minutes was an incredibly live set
featuring tracks from their previous albums,
‘Smokers Delight’ and ‘Carboot Soul’. Two
albums that really stand out from any other
chilled hip-hop albums of the mid nineties.
EASE was joined on stage by a guitarist,
bassist, keyboardist and an amazing
percussion set up. The sound created was
note perfect. Just before another classic
song ‘Ethnic Majority’, EASE (who MC’d
throughout the night) told stage crew to
cut the lights and shouted “Nightmares
on wax are all about the music, you don’t
have to see us to experience the NoW!”
They carried on playing the whole track
in the dark. ‘Mind Elevation’, NoW’s
newest album features not only chilled
instrumental tracks but some incredible
vocals as well. The rest of the concert was
filled with loads of brand new tracks; with
great vocalists on stage giving it their all.
The outstanding song of the night was ‘70’s
80’s’, with a great rap and backing vocals.
I don’t think there was a still body in the
room, the atmosphere was incredible. The
concert ended with a twenty minute jam,
in which all instruments went through an
improvised solo, my favorite being the bass
solo with the bassist slapping the bass so
fast I couldn’t see his fingers!
It is obvious to me that NoW have an edge
above most hip-hop acts – the fact they can
perform amazingly live. Outstanding. big al
REAGAN | MARLOWE @ STUDENTS UNION
Well, LIVE comes to the union once again
and it seems that a lot of the university has
deadlines looming as attendance is low.
What with previous Tuesday night bands
being of a high standard, Reuben, Martin
Gretsch and Kandyheads being some,
tonight’s bands have a tough act to follow
but take to the stage Reagan and Marlowe.
Regan, a five piece from the exotic
High Wycombe (where they all went to
university), are up first. Electronic fuzz and
disgruntled noise are the order reminiscent
of the Cooper Temple Clause (with some
barnet’s to match as well). They say their
sound is “electronic rock” and with two
keyboardists the electronic effects certainly
THE RAPTURE | THE BOGGS
INST. OF CONT. ARTS | 13TH NOVEMBER
The ‘the’ tradition of bands continues
tonight with any band containing the word
‘the’ in their title seemingly destined for
an NME front page. Top that with being
from New York and boy oh boy the world
is yours. Fulfilling both requirements,
the prospect of seeing the Rapture is an
exciting one, but first up the Boggs.
Yes yes, I know what your thinking,
that name. If you’re
going to call yourself
something that
ridiculous you better
be pretty good or
your going to get
called the inevitable.
Unfortunately for them
they were rubbish. In
fact I would be quite
willing to hover my ass
over them and let go
of last nights dinner.
To be fair to them to
start off with the sound
was turned down
(did someone know
something we didn’t),
but when raised it was
not a relief. Bashing
out country meets rock
play a major part throughout. However,
this ends up with the music sounding
somewhat confused as at times they try
to sound too much like their counterparts.
Add to this a guitarist who at any given
moment will drop to his knees and twist
and squirm around on the floor and it all
ends up pretty messy. They sound their
best when they make things simple, ‘When
we went’ starts slowly and they build on it
displaying a sense of control the rest of the
songs don’t. The guitarists pants were on
show most of the set, if they did make more
of an effort then perhaps this wouldn’t be
such a good metaphor for the band.
Marlowe couldn’t be much more of a
different band. Keyboards are swapped
style songs on acoustic guitar they soon
dragged on especially with each track being
undistinguishable from the next. If I ever
have to see Dolly Parton, it is now a more
exciting prospect.
Seeing the Rapture come onto the stage is
a welcome relief for all. Having released
one of this years bests singles ‘House of
Jealous Lovers’, they represent all that
is good about New York at the moment.
All of them look cool with hair a 1970’s
John McEnroe would be proud of (one of
them even sported a sweat band to top the
look). They steal all of the best sounds that
have come from New York, angular riffs
from Television, punk attitude from the
Beastie Boys and add their own element of
dance to it. ‘Out of the Races and onto the
tracks’, ‘Modern Romance’ and ‘House of
Jealous Lovers’ all soar along with angular
guitars and attitude and put other New York
pretenders to shame (the Liars, the Mooney
Suzuki). However, there is one problem
with tonight’s set, that is the insistence of
using a sax player on some of the songs.
The inclusion is an unnecessary one, it
disrupts the dynamics of the loudness and
quietness which make the band so great
on record and seems arbitrary to include it
live. The songs that didn’t include the sax
standout the best and highlights why the
Rapture are so good and above the rest of
New York’s upstarts. simon robinson
for trumpet, violin and a flute. First
impressions are that of members of your
school orchestra forming a bit (but older).
This is in fact where some of them met
but all are from Liverpool way. The first
track is an instrumental acid Jazz style
track called ‘Arachnid’ but kind of walks
along on one leg which is an unpleasant
thing to see (or hear!) There was nothing
particularly wrong with Marlowe but then
again there was nothing that special. The
kind of thing you hear when tucking into a
nice four cheese pizza and garlic bread at
your local Pizza Express. A non descript
Mavericks meets the Tindersticks via the
Jazz café. Trumpet player had a nice hat
and beard though. simon robinson
21 November 2002
MUSIC NEWS
THIS week saw one of the year’s
biggest music awards taking place, the
MTV Europe Awards. Eninem was
the biggest winner on the night picking
up three awards for Best Album, Best
Male Artist and Best Hip-Hop. Close
behind was Kylie who scooped two
awards for Best Pop and Best Dance
Artist. The ceremony was hosted by
the flamboyant P Diddy.
ON Craig David’s recent US promo
tour black executives at radio stations
apparently told the Southampton
born singer that he should ditch white
guitarist, Fraser T Smith, if he really
wanted to break the US market. Craig
has stated that Smith is staying and
he thought it was “disappointing that
there was still this slight sense of
racism going on over there.”
NOEL Gallagher has apparently turned
down the opportunity of appearing
on the British institution ‘This is
your Life’, branding it “naff”. The
reason behind his decision , according
to a close friend, is that he sees it
as “not exactly the most trendy of
programmes, not exactly cool. He
wasn’t really impressed when Martin
Kemp appeared on it either. He
doesn’t want to be put in the same
bracket as him.” So if its “naff” how
does he know Martin Kemp was on it
in the first place?
If you would like to be featured in “what’s
on your campus stereo, then drop us a line
at barefacts@ussu.co.uk, and we may very
well come and search you out. Or we may
not. Who knows what crazy things we
might do...
What’s on your campus stereo?
This week WOYCS returns in the music section. Five people have been asked a few questions on what they have
been listening to recently and below are what they said. Here are the five questions they were asked [1] What
was the last album that you bought? [4] What one song would make you get up and dance at the union? [3] What
song do you like to play before you leave the house to go party? [2] What was the last thing on your stereo when
you left your house? [5] Who’s your favourite band/artist at the moment? The questions were posed by one Mr
Simon Robinson and all the people who answered happened to be on the music team
Anthos Chrysanthonou
[1] Bjork – Greatest hits
[2] Audioslave single
[3] Electric 6 – Danger High Voltage
[4] Supergrass – Latest album
[5] Radiohead
Stuart Bryce
[1] A – Somethings Going On
[2] Young Heart Attack
[3] Chemical Brothers – Hey Boy Hey Girl
[4] Foo Fighters – Break Out
[5] The Music
MUSIC
SCARLET’S WALK
TORI AMOS | EPIC
This new LP from the Cornflake Girl
is pretty much what you would expect.
Floaty, hippy folk-pop. At 18 songs and
74 minutes, this is at least six songs too
long. It’s usually not a good idea to have
such a long album, unless every track is
essential. And frankly, here quite a few
are not. If Tori had cut out some of the
duller moments such as ‘Strange’ and the
terrible warbling ‘Don’t Make Me Come
To Vegas’, this could have been much more
enjoyable. Saying that, there are some
good moments. Tori sounds good when
she tries a bit less, such as on the chilled
out ‘Crazy’. ‘Sweet Sangria’ has a bit more
substance, with piano, it’s actually quite
funky. The girl has got a great voice and
this does shine through, but at times she
sounds dangerously like Enya, which can
never be a good thing. There is nothing
here that sounds new and much of it blends
into the background. Strictly for fans, this
can be filed under dull. four | a.w.
Alex Read
[1] Pulp – Hits
[2] Pulp – The Lost Soul
[3] Michael Jackson – Billy Jean
[4] German Industrial Techno
[5] The Coral
21
ALBUMS
*
HITS
PULP
A chronological representation of Pulps’
greatest hits OK. The reviewer’s job is
slightly different than normal in the sense
all these songs have charted well and
therefore already been proven as rather
good. Instead I’ll examine the appeal
to those who have never really bought
into the whole Pulp thing. The comedic
charm of a gangly Jarvis Cocker singing
wickedly catchy pop songs about the
painfully relevant will never be repeated
- case closed. Anyone lucky enough to
see his double act with Ali G on Help
the Aged will understand what I’m on
about – ‘help the aged, help the mo fo
aged’. His performance at the Brits with
Michael Jackson brought new meaning to
demonstrative appreciation (whatever that
means?) To say ‘highlights include’ would
be stupid - here’s the most obvious Do You
Remember The First Time, Sorted for E’s &
Wizz, Disco 2000 and my favourite A Little
Soul (wow I love it!). Essential purchase
for those in search of urban pornocopia on
a bit of plastic. eightpointfive | a.r.
FAT MUSIC, VOLUME VI, UNCONTROLLABLE FATULENCE
VARIOUS | FAT WRECK CHORDS
‘Uncontrollable Fatulence’ is the sixth edition in the Fat Music series. This compilation
has 18 tracks with well known punk bands such as ‘Lagwagon’, ‘Less Than
Jake’, and ‘NOFX’, and the not so well known such as
‘Dillinger Four’. While this album kicks off with
a excellent track from ‘Lagwagon’ and ends with
a amusing cover of ‘Nothing compares to you’
from punk cover band ‘Me First & The Gimme
Gimme’s’ Most of the stuff on here is certainly
nothing new and could be described as pure
uncomfortable noise. If you are a
regular fan of Top of the Pops
you won’t want to touch this. If you
are a into your alternative scene you
should check it but it isn’t
anywhere near as good as such
previous Fat comps as ‘Live Fat and
Die Young’ and ‘Life in the Fat lane’.
five | n.d
*
ALL TEN FINGERS
ANDY VOTEL | XL RECORDINGS
Andy Votel is a Manc DJ who has produced
and remixed a multitude of acts including
Ian Brown, Death In Vegas and Badly
Drawn Boy, as well as helping to set up
the famous Twisted Nerve label. ‘All
Simon Robinson
Ten Fingers’ is Andy’s first LP proper
[1] The Rapture – Mirror
and is certainly eclectic. Widespread
[2] Detroit Cobras – Hey Sailor
influences apparently include Krautrock,
[3] Motorhead – Ace of Spades
Hungarian Prog, West Coast Psych and of
[4] Some dirty electro comp
course, Old-Skool hip-hop. Every song
[5] Joy Division
is unique. ‘Gentle Man Thief’ is just
strange, with laid-back trad jazz stretched
out over slow beats, with snare drum and
trumpets. But it works. ‘Salted Tangerines’
is a collaboration with Malcolm Mooney
from the legendary German band Can. It
consists of Malcolm singing lyrics based
on poetry written in the early 70s over
tinkling piano, and is completely barking.
Rich Watts But hey, Mr. Votel can get away with it and
[1] Martin Grech - Open Heart Zoo make it sound like art. It’s terrific. Other
[2] Elbow - Asleep in the Back collaborators on the LP include fellow
[3] Weezer stuff - Buddy Holly, probably Mancunians Elbow. This is nothing if not
[4] something you can be a bit floppy-wristed with original, complex and utterly intriguing.
[5] the Boggs. without a shadow of doubt eight | a.w.
22 COMMUNICATION 21 November 2002

J - team We only went and won it

j-team.biz

j-team.biz j-team.biz
words: judge mental and Mr Tea
WE ONLY WENT AND WON IT! The simplicity of that first sentence is something I will
be eternally glad of. Anything more complex, such as what else was said last week when
GU2 nicely claimed the title of ‘Student Station of The Year 2002’, went straight in one
ear and out the other. The excitement and disbelief over the minutes which followed the
announcement triggered some sort of overload which now means I can remember very
little of what was said. It is for this reason that we have this week chosen to base the J-
Column on Hazards for Fishermen at sea. Just messing. Although my knowledge of last
weeks National Student Radio Awards is somewhat akin to the aforementioned topic, we
should really cover it. Shouldn’t we?
Paragraph 2. This paragraph is dedicated to Mr. Gareth Davies. Gaz, as many of you
know, was the main man at GU2 last year. He was IN CHARGE! From organising GU2’s
month on FM at the beginning to editing our award entries, he put an awful load of work
and effort in. Even if some of it was having to listen to hours upon hours of recorded J-
Team Classic shows! Gaz, have a salute and a bag of credit from The J-Team! We did it!
many out. Arriving at a flash reception full of top, well dressed, student and professional
broadcasters in our J-Team clobber (and sun visors!) caused a bit of attention. According
to one Louisa of Demon FM (De Montfort University) we all made ‘a bit of an entrance’!
Whatever that means. After numerous antics, such as a photo session with a certain piece of
produce which will be mentioned later, we were all ushered to the theatre.
The ceremony was well in when they brought out the award for ‘Best Speech Based
Program (Factual)’. The big news this week is, of course, that GU2 didn’t win it. A little
unfortunate, but looking back, we really don’t mind!
On the way to London a few stops were made. During a stop on the way, I’d purchased
a tin of dog food for a reason which I don’t really recall. However, it was decided that, in
the event of a win, we would swap it for the award on the stage. Pity, because in the event
of the biggest win we could have hoped for, we forgot all about it. Instead I found myself
jumping on top of Gaz, dancing on the chairs and generally cheering and pringling with
everybody. Then someone, I don’t know who, said: “Shall we go up on the stage?” What a
good idea! Seriously, we would have gone on for about another hour if that person hadn’t
spoken. I turned and ran along the row of chairs. Mr. Tea was leading the charge and began
the spectacular trend of diving headfirst onto the stage. The stage was quite slippery and it
wasn’t long before we found ourselves at the feet of Emma B, the hostess. It also wasn’t
much longer until we found ourselves jumping up and down with the award presenters,
a certain Andy Parfit, Controller of Radio 1, and John Bradford, Director of The Radio
Academy. They were great sports! Now we reach what I cannot remember…
...the aftershow party was, erm, IMMENSE! It was so strange to be at a party in a J-Team
shirt and not have people you’ve never met hurling insults at you. People who we did meet
had nothing but respect for GU2 and that was really cool. It showed that last year’s team,
led by Gaz, have successfully put Surrey on the radio map. Deservingly so too. I think that
a huge well done to everybody who played any part in the success of last year is in order.
Also, if you see Gaz, stop him and shake him by the hand.
Mr. Tea and I would also like to say a huge thank you to Kit Kat and Nit Nat who made an
excellent effort at presenting The J-Team Classic last Thursday night in our absence. Listen
out for them sometime soon again on GU2, hopefully! The ‘Classic returns to normal this
Thursday with new competition: ‘Flush the Mush!’ Tune in Thursdays from 7pm to find out

the.net
There are so many comedy parts of the evening that I’m worried about missing too more! GU2 won ‘Best Student Station 2002’, by the way.

bringing you the randomness from cyberspace

words: chris “funkyberry” hunter
Do you remember a few weeks ago I reviewed www.snapyourd
esk.barkins.com – the website where you can take a photo of
your desk, and send it in for all the world to see? Well I checked
back there at random today (Mon 18th) and out of 200 desks on
there, mine is one of the creator’s 5 “Personal Favourites”!!
Sorry but I’m really impressed about that!
I wouldn’t normally put competitions up on here, but this
one is so random that it has to be mentioned. Goto http://
overload.which.co.uk for your chance to win £1000! All you have
to do is to guess what day/hour/minute/second a washing machine,
that they are running overloaded non-stop, will breakdown.
The research is for Which, so I think it’s genuine. There are
even 4 webcams on the washing machine!
Ok. This site will probably be the longest URL that I’ve put
in here, but I really think I should mention this site… here goes: www.eskimo.com/~billb/
weird/microexp.html will tell you loads of really cool experiments that you can do with
microwaves. I learned a lot from this site, and I think the coolest thing is putting fluorescent
tube lights into the microwave, and having them light up when you turn the microwave
on! It was also interesting reading the explanation about why you don’t put forks in
microwaves. *DISCLAIMER* Myself or Barefacts will accept no responsibility for any
personal damage, caused to you or a 3rd party by you being stupid and dumb in testing out
these mad experiments!
My final site this week is a really cute and addictive little game! http://entries.the5k.org/
717 is a stickman boxing match that you can bet on, given odds of each stickman winning,
based on past performance. There are 6 stickmen to choose from, and they run around the
room until 2 meet each other and have a fight – they do this till there is one left. I’ve been
playing this for 15 minutes now, and I had to really force myself to stop (although I don’t
really have a great score to show for it!)
24 INTERACTIVE 21 November 2002

As that great Irish band “the cranberries” once

said, everybody else is doing it, so why can’t we?
Quiz
Thus, this week we have a bit of a James Bond theme with the lyrics quiz, and that, of
Hi there all. Last week’s answer
was the rail thing that you can
slide your trays along in the HRB.
This week’s challenge is quite
course, means we get to continue putting in pictures of sexy people, with slightly justified gettable… although for people
reasons. At least we think so. that are stuck – don’t let
So wihout further ado, here is the quiz, by sarah butterworth and a nice picture. orientation fool you.
- funkyberry -
1. “Hold one up and then caress it, touch it, stroke it and undress it”
2. “And love is a stranger who’ll beckon you on”
3. “I’m in a puddle on the floor, waiting for you to return”
4. “I know when to talk and I know when to touch”
5. “You’ll never know how I watched you from the shadows as a child”
6. “Lurking in some darkened doorway, or crouched on a roof top somewhere”
7. “The way that you hold me whenever you hold me”
8. “Beckons you to enter his web of sin – but don’t go in”
9. “Dance into the fire, that fatal kiss is all we need”
10. “Comes the morning and the headlights fade away”

Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?

£100: what was the name of the banqueting hall gutted at Windsor castle in 1992?
a: St Jason’s Hall | b: St Wayne’s Hall | c: St George’s Hall | d: St Sharon’s Hall

X
£200: in which sport was Daley Thompson an Olympic champion?
a: cycling | b: shooting | c: athletics | d: diving
WORD
£300: for which national rugby union side has Gavin Hastings been a record scorer? A big thank you to rich and a hand-over-ears anna this week for their
a: scotland| b: ireland | c: wales| d: england help with this here crossword. I hope you can remember the answers.

£500: in which sport would you use a pommel horse?

a: show-jumping | b: fencing | c: gymnastics | d: snooker

£1k: which singer is famously known as the “man in black”?

a: kenny rogers | b: glenn campbell | c: jonny cash | d: willie nelson

£2k: what was Dr Kildare’s first name in the television series?

a: james | b: john | c: pete | d: timothy

£4k: what is the Celcius equivalent of 77degrees Fahrenheit?

a: 15C| b: 20C | c: 25C | d: 30C

£8k: which of these cars was designed by Alec Issigonis?

a: citroen 2cv | b: rolls royce silver ghost | c: volkswagen beetle | d: morris minor

£16k: which character was played by Ewan McGregor in the 1996 movie “Emma”?
a: Mr Knightly | b: Frank Churchill | c: Mr Elton | d: Robert Martin

£32k: which of these is not a recognised ruling body in professional boxing?

a: wbo | b: wbc | c: wbf | d: wba

£64k: in British greyhound racing, what colour is worn across down

by the dog in trap 3? 1. money order [6] 1. spring flower [6]
a: red | b: white | c: blue | d: black 4. on ship [6] 2. pound [4]
7. change hue [9] 3. get away [6]
£125k: which US state is nicknamed the “mother of 9. clothe [4] 4. united in enterprise [6]
presidents”? 10. profit [4] 5. musical work [4]
a: delaware | b: virginia | c: south carolina | 11. secret agents [5] 6. fungus attacking wood [3,3]
d: north dakota 13. bandage [6] 7. spiritual leader [5,4]
14. take-off [6] 8. superfluous [ 9]
£250k: which nationality was the astronomer Copernicus? 15. tenent [6] 11. farm animals [5]
a: swedish | b: dutch | c: polish | d: greek 17. amongst [6] 12. squalid [5]
19. flower [5] 15. superior [6]
£500k: from which author;s work did scientists take the word ‘quark’? 20. occasion [4] 16. crime [6]
a: lewis carroll | b: edward lear | c: james joyce | d: aldous huxley 22. precipitation [4] 17. creature [6]
23. lament lot [anag.] [9] 18. in the direction of [6]
£1m: ‘hydroponics’ is a term related to which of the following? 24. cure [6] 21. otherwise [4]
a: whale-song | b: plant-growing | c: sea travel | d: humidity measurement 25. myth [6] 22. cosy [4]
21 November 2002 LIFESTYLE 25

Final years Funkyberry (CIT) and Ickle Sarah (Music) give

a random slice of campus life from their humble dwellings
L ife After The Womb
words: rich w

All this talk of awards and what does Life After the Womb have
within Battersea Court Rawson…
to offer in terms of silverware or glass bowls, or free bottles of
After recovering from the trauma of A few week’s ago I wrote about the whiskey and large, picnic hamper sets? Absolutely nothing. More barren than a Spanish
accidentally going to hotmale.com rather Rawson Phenomenon – the strange fact coastline after an oil slick.
than hotmail.comI was able to start week that nobody ever seems to know where So this had a knock-on effect and, aside from those that lost in these awards we keep
11. I check my watch… 7:30… owch! I Battersea Rawson is – but this week it hearing about, LATW got to thinking who else normally gets neglected when it comes to
look in my hotmaIL struck me that many awards ceremonies and the handing ou of accolades to fellow ‘professionals.’
box, and find that moons ago, when GU2/ This is actually a much harder task than it may at first seem, because, on the face of it, hu-
someone has been kind GuildfordCampusRadio mans are all too ready to congratulate their colleagues when a good knees-up, plenty of free
enough to send me the was housed in nothing alcohol and the possibility of a wee snog are offered as the perks of attending a bash. Thus
following email: “what
if you could have it “After but a cupboard, Rawson
must have been far better
we have pretty pointless ceremonies in which people not only justify their weird habits by
getting fellow weirdos in a room, but ones in which they celebrate their strangeness with
all.. larger breasts...
NO SURGERY...” recovering from known. Yes, ladies and
gentlemen, that very
unparalleled enthusiasm.
So what about the Welfare sabbatical? What sort of recognition do they get? In all fair-
Good question. What
if I could have larger the trauma of cupboard (well, small
room) is in Rawson 2,
ness, they get very little, and so perhaps it is time we offered them the opportunity to get
themselves some nice glass bowls in which they can keep all of those condoms and little
breasts? Its honestly
something I haven’t accidental- barely 10 metres from
where I am now. Hidden
welfare leaflets they often have so handily lying around.
The first category could be for “Best Hug,” where nominees have to demonstrate a firm-
thought about before.
People seem to have got ly going to between a door out of
my floor and the Wells
but-not-too-firm wrapping technique. They should be judged on comfort created by a
gentle rubbing action of one hand on the back of the hugged, as well as ease with which
the impression that I’m
rather strange already, hotmale.com staircase it looks like it’s
been derelict for many
the hugged can place there nose into the hugger’s shoulder (and thus probably depositing a
fair residue of snot). Extra points should be given for maintaining an emotive, yet sexually
so I guess no one would
really notice…On first instead of years, containing only a
few sad old boxes and
distant cuddle by the necessary maintaining of distance between the respective crotches of
the hugged and the hugger.
thoughts - HELL NO!
I check my watch again, hotmail.com microphone stands. So,
I’ve been prompted to
The second category would be the “Best Tissues” award; this would take into account the
number of tissues a ‘welfarer’ has, what size they are, whether they have that nice balm on
7:30… right… time
I got on with the day. the week was think of new uses for this
bit of Surrey history. One
them that means your skin does not get irritated and flakey, whether they have an extensive
supply of them or not, whether they are carefully concealed such that the ‘afflicted’ (for
Last night I went to see
Harry Potter 1. I’m well able to start.” suggestion was a special
‘party room’ for Rawson
want of a better word) doesn’t feel like they have to cry or sniffle or dribble but that the
security is there just in case they do. All these things would be taken into account and my
impressed with that 2, but I’m not sure how - there are a lot of them. (Life After the Womb is secretly glad it doesn’t have to consider
movie. We saw it at the well that’d go down with all of these things...)
Union, and if anyone the powers that be! Or A third category could be “Best Sympathetic Tone;” that is to say the noise a welfarer
hasn’t been there to see maybe we could open makes when the afflicted is telling them the information they wish to convey. Though
a Sunday night film – I totally recommend a Battersea Court bar?! Suggestions on a somewhat dependent on the subjective view of the person doing the talking, there are
it. They put the full stage speakers on, and I postcard….. distinct characteristics associated with a genuine, hearlfelt “uh-huh.” Judges should
swear the floor literally shook when Hagrid Yet again I’m going to talk about one of therefore look for the following points: eye contact between the involved parties such that
knocked that door down! For free it’s a the major highlights of my week – Sunday the afflicted is put at ease by the unintelligible murmur; a depth of tone that suggest warm,
quality night out! Thanks to Jo for dragging Roast (which was this week held at cuddly animals sitting in front of an open fire in the farmhouse of a Welsh farmers lodg-
me along! lunchtime especially so I could get to a ings, in the middle of winter with the gales blowing hard outside; a decent enough length of
Finally the lift project is in… although I rehearsal at 2pm – awww)! The six of us acknowledgement such that the welfarer doesn’t seem too keen to show they are listening,
totally messed it up. I’m just going to have have decided that this tradition is too good but doesn’t conversely make it too short and abrupt such that the afflicted thinks they are
to work harder for the exams. Exams are to be kept to ourselves, so have hit upon the
funny things. I never want to revise – I just idea of starting a Roast Dinner Society. Our not being listened too. It is also important to
want to get in there and do it (although if aims would be to promote the social values consider where the welfarer is placing their fingers
I don’t revise, I’ll have nothing to write of weekly roast dinners (and of course the whilst listening to the person. Should their
about!). [Break for time check – 7.30… accompanying wine), experiment with new hand be twitching on the knee - a sympom
right] Oh yer, the other cool thing about cooking techniques and raise awareness of of boredom, then this ill discourage the
exams is that you get to read all the vegetarian steaks – yes, they do exist! Also afflicted; if, however, they place theri index
amusing things that people have written – getting your weekly vegetable allowance finger in an intelligent fashion on one or
on the exam tables!! I think sympathy is all in one day (well… almost) is pretty other of their cheeks, then this will
due for my multimedia course – we get our useful. And after the 20 signatures, AGM, display true care and attention to the
exam at 5pm-7pm on a Friday night! committee malarkey, we could buy what plight being described before them.
Anyone reading this in Battersea Court, the meat eaters in the group have been after The overall winner of the award will be that
as you should know by now, there is the all along – a brand new carving knife (to welfarer who can maintain all of the
competition running for the best decorated be shared equally amongst members, of above elements whilst continuing to pro-
kitchen this Christmas. There are some cool course)! So… any takers? vide an effective service to the afflicted
prizes on offer – so get decorating! Oh by Of course, we’d need a society and without seemingly having to concen-
the way, my watch stopped 9 months ago. headquarters, complete with oven, cooking trate on any of the particulars other than
chris ‘funkyberry’ hunter utensils, food, wine…. and that’s where the the person in front of them. Of course, if
old GU2 cupboard comes into play! they do win the award then they will invar-
‘ickle sarah iably burst out into floods of tears, thank
everyone involved with their work, even
– A View to a Kill 10. A-ha – The Living Daylights
though they coudn’t tell them anything
about it, and invite everybody in
Simon - Nobody Does It Better (The Spy Who Loved Me) 8. Shirley Bassey – Goldfinger 9. Duran Duran
– The World is Not Enough 5. Tina Turner – Goldeneye 6. Lulu – The Man With the Golden Gun 7. Carly
Forever 2. Nancy Sinatra – You Only Live Twice 3. Sheryl Crowe – Tomorrow Never Dies 4. Garbage the auditorium up on stage to share in their
16. Felony | 17. Animal | 18. Toward | 21. Else | 22. Snug lyrics quiz: 1. Shirley Bassey – Diamonds Are success, but hey - taht’s welfarers for you
Escape | 4. Allied | 5. Opus | 6. Dry rot | 7. Dalai Lama | 8. Redundant | 11. Sheep | 12. Seany | 15. Better | and they are a lovely bunch of people.
19. Peony | 20. Time | 22. Snow | 23. Allotment | 24. Remedy | 25. Legend. Down: 1. Crocus | 2. Quid | 3. It’s just they don’t get awards that have it
written on nice bits of glass.
Aboard | 7. Discolour | 9. Clad | 10. Seer | 11. Spies | 13. Swathe | 14. Deduct | 15. Belief | 17. Amidst |
b];[£32k: c]; [£64k: b]; [£125k: b]; [£250k: c]; [£500k: c]; [£1m: b]. Xword: Across: 1. Cheque | 4.
WWTBAM:[£100: c]; [£200: c]; [£300: a]; [£500: c]; [£1k: c]; [£2k: a]; [£4k: c]; [£8k: d]; [£16k:
Upside-Down Answers
26 PERSONALS 21 November 2002

Scorpio
After all the fun and excitement ALMOST ACCURATE ASTROLOGY
from your birthday (as well as the
embarrassment you suffered…but
let’s not go into that now though), now is
the time to be sensible and sort a few things out. You have
spent a lot of time thinking about that special someone
lately but the planets dictate that you must finally tell them
how you really feel. You will certainly feel much better
after facing up to things.
Sagittarius
After finally having a bit of a sort out, much to
the delight of your housemates and neighbours,
you are feeling more organised. Seize this
opportunity to try and plan ahead. If you ignore this advice
you may find your food cupboards empty and your social
calendar too full for you to cope. Try to keep on top of
things……and allow yourself to see things from more than
one angle…
Capricorn
All that creativity seems to have gone well, and
you are now full of determination to go through
with that idea you have been considering for
a while. Find the courage to do it (you know what) whilst
you still can.
Aquarius
This week the stars indicate that it will be
important for you to avoid fish. As an Aquarian
this may sound odd to you but it is vital you
keep your feet firmly on dry land. In fact, avoid the lake at
all costs. You are safe to have showers but a bath may not
be the best plan either. Good luck this week.
Pisces
You lucky, lucky thing you – you couldn’t be
much luckier this week with the current
words and predicting: daisy clay
alignment of Venus and Pluto so be sure the most of it. You
luck will be highest this Friday and Saturday so don’t waste
it by staying indoors!
Aries
The planets are warm this week and so are you.
All this heat could lead to lots of fun, but be
careful not to get burnt. Look forward to hot
dates on the 22nd and 25th. Your skills in the kitchen should
also be successful so how about baking some scones for all
your friends to share. Remember that you’ll need baking
powder though.
Taurus
Recent arguments with friends have been
troubling you. Minor disruptions to the
positioning of the planets seem to have caused
some more major disruptions to your life. As the planets
are sorting themselves out it is time for you to do the same.
Also, sharing a bar of chocolate could seriously improve
your chances with that new friend of yours.
Gemini
What are you like?! All these deadlines are
getting nearer and nearer (so near that you
could poke them with a short stick) and you’re
doing nothing about them. Get your act together and stop
playing Solitaire or Hearts (although well done on your
new top score!). Try to focus on one task at a time as
Mars will temporarily disrupt your multi-tasking abilities.
Sacrificing a night or two out will pay off when you get
those deadlines out of the way and can really get down to
non-stop partying! The fact you have a beautiful girlfriend
will make you feel better whenever you see her, though.
Cancer
The planets are making you
rush things without much time
to think about things but don’t
worry too much because it will all work out
fine. It is a good idea to just try sitting down for a while to
make a lists of things to do, things to buy, people to see,
and places to go. Don’t forget to make a list of these lists or
you run the risk of forgetting to check them.
Leo
New beginnings and life changes are on the
way but do not resist them. Embrace new
acquaintances with open arms and look forward
to lots of nice shiny new things. Everyone likes shiny new
things, especially you. But you can still share your nice
shiny new things because that would be nice, and possibly
shiny too…quite a new thing for you too!
Virgo
This week you will be full of confidence, which
can only be a good thing unless you overdo it.
After someone you trusted lets you down you
will feel a strong urge to seek revenge. Best not though.
Your plans of revenge are just too mean and will probably
backfire. Do watch out for that open kitchen cupboard too.
Libra
All these midnight meetings in secret locations
are arousing the suspicions of friends. They will
find out about that night at the laundrette unless
you stop these late night antics. A last piece of advice is that
you should not attempt to climb into any wide open spaces,
no matter how inviting them may seem.
Remember - none of our esteemed astrologers have any
qualifications that mean they can actually predict anything
other than the date of the next Royal scandal, which, given
current events, isn’t particularly difficult as it is.

Well, shag a met-ro and have a triple
UIP round!! We bloody did it guys!!
BEST STUDENT RADIO STATION
2002: GU2 1350AM! Thank you to the
BEST manager (Gaz)- and the BEST
team EVER!!!!!
The big monkey is keen to spend
christmas with you!!
She’s got that homeless look down to the
last detail
You got the vibe? cos I know at least 2
people that have!
sod this – i’m giving up with the whole
lot of it. sod ya’
Wanted: some fuckin fixtures for the
4’s!!
Back of the net!
Hey baby – you’re gorgeous.
I can give you 200 pounds in cash or 230
as a cheque
Dominc says: Fireworks are outside!
Luke says: Aeroplanes are above the
sky!
Would the people on the ground floor
of the new court please stop playing
outdoor Jenga!
These are the
personals.
You gossip-
meisters,you.
Why can’t you
just be nice
to each
other, eh?
To the girl who is terrified of needles
but still gave blood Fri afternoon;
hope it went well and you really did do
something amazing.
Surf & Totty in Lanzarote! Book your
place for Canary Islands Jan 2003 now.
1 week, just £300. Surf@surrey.ac.uk
for details.
Congratulations to GU2 1350am - best
student radio station. Shame there is so
much SBN this year.
Who the f**k is Tim Westwood?
J-team for Radio 1 slot.
Who the f**k is Rich W?
guys dont leave me all alone on
sundays :( p.s NORWICH IPSHITCH
MCVEIGH!!!!!!!!)
Laurence, Jonno, Mark, Chris, Rich.
The CC Sick boys (hope the hangovers
gone mark)
Steps, you say? I know someone who can
do those...
Get out your retro gear for 70’s night out
with Guildford and Cathedral Court!!!...
mon 25th nov, meet 7.30pm at reception
Pikeys: culturally they’re far behind
Malibu is USSU’s official broken tool
Wanted: Common sense, need i say
more!?!
Schoolgirls nite la la la!!
Another Netball social, oh dear!
Sorry JJO, I know I said I’d stop
mentioning u in the personals. You’re
getting quite a reputation!
Watch out Pat Sharp, u won’t know
what’s hit u!
Geebes hope you binned the toothbrush
after you used it to scoop out the
chunks!!!!!!
Dare you to splash out for once Delly
Becks how was ur wkend? Did u trot or
cannter?
Blonde streek Robbin u have an
admirer, 1st weeks clue - how did a
photo of u get near her bed!!!
Pascoe’s bird la la la, Pascoe’s bird la la
la!
I don’t fancy Pascoe’s much!!!
Rhys, watch where you get her next
time!”My eye, my eye!!!”
I’m walking along the beach in brighton,
a little bit drunk and i’m not sure if its
my ears ringing or the music being way
too loud.
juggle those hats - that’s what its all
about.
as opposed to hugging, you could just
fall asleep on me - that’s fine.
congrats tris...you deserve it
i would thank my mother, but she
wouldn’t let me have a go on her electric
wheelchair.
could these be award winning
personals? find out next year.
adam, stop moaning and get on with
being an admin. some people just can’t
help but moan.
i’m hearing some very dodgy noises
through my flooy - are you in there or is
it someone else?
21 November 2002
Mixed fortune for the netball teams
Surrey 1sts travelled away to play
Buckingham Chilterns College this week.
It was the first time Shoeless Jo had driven
the minibus so the team were unsure as to
whether they would make it! She did fine
though and the firsts arrived 45 minutes
early! As it neared 2 o’clock no one seemed
to be around to open the changing rooms
so players resorted to changing on the bus.
The game soon got underway as the umpires
turned up and sorted themselves out.
The first quarter saw Surrey firsts pull away
by about two goals, but Bucks were close
on their tails, both teams battling hard for
each goal. In the second quarter Surrey firsts
increased their lead to about 6 goals, only
to see this lost in the third quarter by some
positively ridiculous umpiring decisions. So
Surrey firsts headed into the final quarter
with a two goal lead, and a determination
to win. Once again this was lost as Bucks
fought hard, benefiting from bias umpires,
to gain a three goal lead over Surrey.
Fantastic shooting from Shoeless and Pussy,
SPORT & STARS
By Beth Clark Wilson
University of Surrey 1st 27
Buckingham Chilterns College 28
University of Surrey 2nd 41
Merton College 2
closed the gap to one goal. Bucks players
let themselves slip here, showing bad
sportsmanship by walking the balls back to
centre, to the frustration of Surrey players.
The score ended 27-28 to Bucks. This could
be blamed on bad decisions by the umpires,
but I wouldn’t want to do that again! It’s
just that when the umpire does a toss up for
every decision, I can’t help but wonder if
they’re actually watching the game!
Surrey thirds played at the Varsity again this
week, yet again notching up another win.
The thirds must be top of the SESA league,
which is well deserved. The commitment
and positive attitude of all the players in the
thirds is certainly reflected in this success.
The annual coaching course based here at UniSPORT will be taking place just before the
27
This week at UniSport
CAPOEIRA
The art form is 400 hundred years old and was created as a martial art by African
slaves in Brazil. A combination of dance and the martial arts as you participate in this
non-contact Brazilian form of combat. Requires grace and fluidity as well as speed
and perception.
When: Thursdays | Time: 7-8.30pm | Where: PATS | With: Anthony Early
WANT TO TEACH SOME SPORT? HAVE A SPECIAL INTEREST IN WORKING WITH KIDS?
We are looking for enthusiastic students wishing to broaden their experience. This is a
great opportunity to show your skills and develop into one of our future sports coaches.
Kids zone on Fridays 4-5.30pm
Sports Club on Saturdays 10-12 noon
Please contact Nadine at the Sports Centre.
Tel: 01483 689201
Email: n.davidson-spjut@surrey.ac.uk
NEW 5 WEEK COURSES
Squash - Tuesday’s 5.30pm
Golf - Thursday’s 6.30pm
Badminton workshop - Tuesday’s 7.30pm
All are available for students at a reduced rate!
BECOME A TRAMPOLINE COACH
new Spring semester – 15, 16,17 & 18 January. If you have had some (a little is all it
needs) experience of trampolining and would like to become a coach please contact:
Ben Brennan Trampoline Club Chair – bjb.x@yahoo.com or Sally Edie
UniSPORT ext. 3917.

Boat club go ERGO crazy in Birmingham

USBC ventured north of Watford on Sunday
17th November, to take part in what is
becoming key event on the international
rowing calendar. The National Indoor Arena
in Birmingham’s city centre played host to
the British Indoor Rowing Championships,
for the second year, since its move from the
Rivermead Leisure Centre in Reading.
machine), with its largest number of
competitors in four years. Well done to
Julia Mitchell, Melissa Ng, Alice Lydall,
Helen Davies, Ella Willat, Jon ‘flame boy’
Churcher, Simon Granshaw, Tim Craxton,
Alex ‘Winner!’ Deacon, Duncan Russell,
Olivier Rey, Ed Harman and Halil Uzner!
Special mention goes to Alex ‘Winner!’

Above and below: photographs taken at the presentation of the cheques given to repre-
sentatives of various charities. The money was raised for RAFT and Disability Challeng-
ers by the Colours Ball and seriously sexy week.

This year saw a huge US contingent taking
part, hailing from Ivy League colleges such
as Stanford and Brown. Our home grown
stars, Matthew Pinsent and James Cracknell
were unable to give a repeat performance of
their spectacular race from last year, due to
honeymoons and the flu. However, James
Cracknell and his new wife TV presenter
Beverly Turner were there to award prizes
to the best in each category.
USBC were out in full force, for the
ultimate test: 2000m on the erg (rowing
Deacon who, with a time of 6m.35.9s. came
20th overall in his division (J18) and to Alice
Lydall who came 22nd in her division (J18)
with a time of 8m.15.0s.
The club members will now be looking to
improve on their times in preparation for
the upcoming race season, with both the
men’s and women’s squads training over
eights times a week. The club will next
be competing at Walton Small Boats Head
Race, our home race, at the beginning of
December.
28 21 November 2002

Footballers triumph in BUSA match
Finally O’Sullivan’s band of merry men notched up their
first BUSA victory of the season against a mediocre side
from Imperial College School of Medicine last week. While
our captain will no doubt claim that new 4-5-1 formation was
the key to our success, it was the superb level of commitment
from every player on the pitch that made the difference.
ICSM kicked off with some bruising challenges but Surrey
were up to challenge led by Sibbick, Waite and Warborough
who were more than happy to roll up their sleeves and get
stuck in. Surrey soon took a grip of the game and made good
use of the width, allowing Ruggiero and Shafford to attack
the opposition full-backs. The strikes were soon raining in
but for the umpteenth week running a lack of composure
in front of goal proved our undoing. Just before half-time
though Ruggiero’s sweet 25-yard effort nestled nicely in the
back of the net and for the first time this season we had gone
ahead! ICSM couldn’t break Surrey’s domination of the
midfield in the second half while Shafford took pleasure in
repeatedly skinning the helpless left-back. Sibbick doubled
the margin with a good header from a deep corner and Surrey
could smell victory. The defence were largely untested but
were reliable when called upon and the midfield continued
to spread the ball well, making the most of ICSMs apparent
lack of fitness. An inadvertently well-weighted clearance
from Jonah put Valentino in behind the defensive line but
credit must go to the striker who showed good strength and
composure to kill the game. The remainder of the game was
SURREY PRIDE
By David ‘Jonah’ Jones
3
University of Surrey 2nd XI
0
ICSM 2nd XI
a poor example of a shooting gallery as we each took turns
to add to the score-line, although to be fair the ICSM keeper
had a good game between the sticks. Man of the Match goes
to Jon Shafford for his tireless running on the right flank,
and he was unlucky not to get on the score sheet himself.
Overall then it should have been a thrashing, but the result is
a satisfying one: bring on Brighton.
If you would like to know more about anything to do with
the football teams of the University of Surrey, then please
contact Dave Jones on ee81dj@surrey.ac.uk.
ARE YOU INTERESTED IN WRITING
FOR THE SPORTS SECTION?
If you are keen and are interested in writing sports
articles for barefacts, please email our new sports editor,
Eddison Ruswa on ce21er@surrey.ac.uk

Women’s Basketball victory Second round of ski-races

By Gemma de Cordova
University of Surrey 39
Roehampton 31
Last Wednesday, the Ladies Basketball team
(yes we do have one!) played only their 3rd
match of the season. This being the first
year in ages that we’ve entered a team in
the league, we all wanted to get Surrey on
the map.
It wasn’t a good start, only 6 fit and
available players, no Coach and a mission
via train and bus to Roehampton. I’m out
with injury myself, so I took on the role of
coach and after arriving (with a little help
from old ladies for directions) we got down
to a good warm up. Roehampton arrived
with full team, experienced coach – not to
mention the array of supporters – once the
game had started it left only one sub and me
on our bench to cheer the girls on!
After a slow but confident start, we
were behind 6-7 at the end of the 1st 1⁄4
and determined to do better in the 2nd 1⁄4.
Anja kept the team calm and focussed photo: chris hunter
and Zoe and Siren got us a few points, but
Roehampton edged ahead and were leading
18-10. With seconds left of the half and
feeling desperate not to lose the match,
I called a tactical time-out, the topic was
DEFENCE, as Roehampton had possession
and looked threatening!! The girls held their
defensive position beautifully, and not only
did they stop Roehampton from scoring, Zoe
made and energetic drive and got us 2points
before the buzzer went for 1⁄2 time!!
The 3rd 1⁄4 was a different story – we took
the lead with some excellent team play. Seyi
and Fumi worked hard to keep Roehampton
out of the game – so that they only scored
3points that 1⁄4!
The final 1⁄4 was just as good. The girls
had to work incredibly hard, with only 1 sub
– Cheri who was playing in her 1st match By Chris Hunter races, we only lost 2 due to missing gates.
and also made a brilliant contribution. The There were the usual major wipeouts, and
final score was 39-31 – it was fantastic and Saturday 16th November was the date one guy even managed to go the wrong way
our 1st victory! I’m so proud of the girls and for the 2nd round of the Kings Ski Club round the very first gate – only realising
can’t wait to take on South Bank next week Championship. We took 9 racers and with halfway down the course. In compliance
infront of a home crowd. See you there! fiddling the teams and nicking a skier off with the rules, he had to run all the way
another University, we had enough for 2 back up the slope, and keep going! The most
mixed teams and a ladies team. The course impressive skier was someone that fell over
is basically the same each time, but the 1⁄4 of the way down the course and lost one
conditions can be totally different. This of his skis. Another rule says that you have
week the Dendex matting was slightly to complete the course with at least one ski
less lubricated, so we all were skiing a bit on – so he skied the rest of the course with
slower. just one ski (its hard enough to do a slalom
The theme was “The Romans”, and course at speed with two skis on – let alone
Southampton University turned up fully just one!)
dressed up as all the Asterix characters. The final results were Surrey Ladies 5th,
They always win the fancy dress, but for Surrey 1 6th, Surrey 2 joint 17th out of
next race’s theme (“Soap Operas”) we’re 19 teams and about 6 ladies teams?. So
going to make a real big effort – look out for although we were down on numbers this
the photos next time! time, the results are getting better. Next race
The ladies team was doing quite well, and in 2 weeks time – lets beat Southampton Uni
Surrey 2 also did very well. I think in all our at the fancy dress!!